Vol 06 Issue 29

Page 1

www.lacitybeat.com

?jan &,"'(! '%%- KDA + CD '.

C I G T N I S I O G BALL NG I V SA

R O R ey Dal ER d T a R By T A E L UC N M O R . F L.A

@ekif[lZ`e^ B<E C8PE< Xj k_\ ;\j\ik IXkkc\i B@D C8:?8E:< ^f\j jlim`mXc`jk 8e[ :8ID8E KJ< ^f\j kf k_\ [\j\ik# nXkZ_\j Zfe[fij jlim`m\

% )

)

)

% "

&

$"

$'

"

#!

BBE

" 2# (?6 E;== ?@E BC? *:B@C9: "C?6(F .

7(* *@ #CB<;): )F5:767=;( *@ !799(7 7? )A(H@= (?6 47F@?6 "A75;(= 9C7)*) (?6 )CBAB;)7) 9(=@B7 :75< @C* *:7 8C== )5:76C=7 (* >@74( 5@>

Taking their influences from groups such as Justice, Daft Punk, Muse and DFA 1979, this raucous and day-glosmattering record embodies the spirit of “Nu-Rave.�

Explores the hardships of working people through a thoughtful selection of songs performed by The Del McCoury Band, Merle Haggard, Marty Stuart, Emmylou Harris and more.

S CURVE

$" @D7 #@ (<7 C);5 #@ $ ! # "CBD;D7 1(=7;6@)5@A7

## 0 1 #:7 "*@@A

' $ !

NINJA TUNE

" # // ' $ ' '@C (D7 @ 67( &:(* '@C,B7 7**;?9 '@CB)7=8 ?*@

AMOEBA,S WORLD MUSIC DJ SERIES

TOOTH & NAIL

5 $!' /! " @?7F=(?6

COLUMBIA/ALMOST GOLD/RSM

MCCOURY MUSIC

GREAT PRICES! DEEP SELECTION!

The creation of genre-defying singer-songwriter Imani Coppola and multi-instrumentalist Adam Pallin. Blends the old-school R&B sound with a quirky hybrid of hip-hop and pop.

The Los Angeles musician’s best and most playfully accessible album yet. Guests include rapper Paperboy, producer Michael Johnson & Taz Arnold and Om’mas Keith (Sa-Ra).

- %

Experience more of Underoath with their Live CD/DVD. Hear the crowd singalong and view never before seen footage of Underoath on tour. A must-have for Underoath fans!

WE BUY CDS, DVDS & LPS! "7== C) F@CB )*CI (): @B *B(67

" " .

.

"$ ())(97

" #

A globally renowned DJ, sending dancefloors into a frenzy with his trademark deep spiritual house sound — this mix features his own productions and more!

WIN TICKETS TO DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL 2008! "77 #:7 07)C) (?6 (BF :(;? (?9 @8 /@CB '7()(F7B !0 #:7 C<7 "A;B;* (*7) @8 "*(*7 #(A7) 3 #(A7) (?6 >@B7 @ *@ >@74( 5@> & (?6 7?*7B 8@B F@CB 5:(?57 *@ E;?

"$ " # % (* $ + " #

+ "$

+ &&& $' " #! ) ) % ) % " $ ! ' "# !" ) ) ! $ ! C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

EDITORIAL

)0

Editor Rebecca Schoenkopf rebeccas@lacitybeat.com Arts Editor Ron Garmon rong@lacitybeat.com Film Editor Andy Klein andyk@lacitybeat.com Copy Editor Joshua Sindell Editorial Contributors Paul Birchall, Andre Coleman, Michael Collins, Cole Coonce, Mark Cromer, Perry Crowe, Mick Farren, Richard Foss, Matt Gaffney, Andrew Gumbel, Tom Hayden, Bill Holdship, Jessica Hundley, Chip Jacobs, Mark Keizer, Carl Kozlowski, Kim Lachance, Steve Lowery, Wade Major, Allison Milionis, Anthony Miller, Chris Morris, Amy Nicholson, Arrissia Owen Turner, Donna Perlmutter, Joe Piasecki, Neal Pollack, Ted Rall, Erika Schickel, Don Shirley, Kirk Silsbee, Brent Simon, Coco Tanaka, Don Waller, Jim Washburn, Wonkette

04 04 05 06 07 08

Editorial Interns Gabrielle Paluch, Heather Price, Daniel Stainkamp, Carman Tse

ART

10

Art Director Paul Takizawa artdirector@lacitybeat.com Web & Print Production Manager Meghan Quinn Advertising Art Director Sandy Wachs Classified Production Artist Tac Phun Contributing Artists and Photographers Bob Aul, Jordan Crane, Scott Gandell, John Gilhooley, Alexx Henry, Maura Lanahan, Gary Leonard, Melodie McDaniel, Joe McGarry, Luke McGarry, Nathan Ota, Ethan Pines, Rosheila Robles, Gregg Segal, Elliott Shaffner, Bill Smith, Ted Soqui

ADVERTISING

15

Music & Entertainment Sales Manager Jon Bookatz SF Valley Territory Manager James Kaplan Account Executives Norma Azucena, Daphne Marina, John Metzner, Matthew Thomas, Susan Uhrlass, Carl Wolf Classified Supervisor Michael Defilippo Classified Account Executives Sarah Fink, Jason Rinka

BUSINESS VP of Operations David Comden VP of Finance Michael Nagami Human Resources Manager Andrea Baker andreab@southlandweeklies.com Accounting Ginger Wang, Archie Iskaq, Tracy Lowe, Christie Lee, Angela Wang (Supervisor)

Letters. Gotta stop sobbing now. Old News. Steve Lowery ponders a whole lot of Dicks. Wonkette’s Weekette! Hey! What did Jesse Jackson say? Desert Rattler. Wonkette editor Ken Layne joins our club with his inaugural column on life in the Mojave. Plight of the Condor. Carman Tse is for the birds. Action of the Week! Heather Price checks in (get it?) with hotel workers in Long Beach.

Feature Going Ballistic. How Tad Daley learned to stop worrying and love the bomb. Wait, that’s not right!

Living Eat. Richard Foss says Shiro aims at perfection. Plus ever and always more wine tastings, in Bites!

17

Shoppiness. Kim Lachance goes to Pedro, turns survivalist. No she doesn’t. Yes she does.

18 18 19

Commie Girl. Rebecca Schoenkopf drives somewhere, ruminates. Like a cow!

Retail Sales Manager Diana James Co-op Advertising Director Spencer Cooper

News

Psycho Sudoku/Jonesin’ Crossword. Matt Gaffney riddles you this! Real Astrology. Rob Brezsny reads your chakras.

LA&E

1 Month st

FREE No Activation Fee Unlimited Calls $35 a month

Seven Days. Ron Garmon turns in the first of – let’s see, carry the one – 74 articles this week!

22 30

No Contracts, No Credit Checks

Film. Andy Klein swoons like a damsel for Dark Knight.

Many more models available

35

Classical. Donna Perlmutter asks, “Is that freedom rock? Well, TURN IT UP ANYWAY.” Plus Ramie Becker’s month in dance, in Steps!

36

Third Degree. The Baseball Reliquary’s Terry Cannon on their Shrine of the Eternals.

37

Stage. Don Shirley takes a bus! Plus Currently Playing!

20

Music. We hear stuff, in Merch! Gabrielle Paluch talks to Bitter:Sweet, sweetly (and bitterly). Nipples at the Knit, in Clubland. And Joshua Sindell turns the beat around, in NightBeat.

HANDS-FREE

It’s the Law: July 1st

Mention this ad & get $10 OFF any Blue Tooth Headset

ON THE COVER

Art director Paul Takizawa takes a man, a plan, a canal. Panama!

TAKE MY PICTURE, GARY LEONARD

Circulation Supervisor Andrew Jackson Front Office Managers Sheila Mendes Coleman, Candon Murry Executive Publisher Charles N. Gerencser charlesg@lacitybeat.com

*With activation of new line

LA CITYBEAT newspaper is published every Thursday and is available free at locations throughout Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley. Circulation: 100,000. One copy per reader, additional copies are $10 each. Copyright: No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other editorial matter or advertisements herein may be reproduced without written permission of copyright owner. All rights reserved, 2008. HOW TO REACH US 5209 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036 Telephone: (323) 938-1700 Classified Advertising: (323) 938-1001 Fax: (323) 938-1661

6005 Vineland Ave #109

120(2 1) #,0(.$0' 80$2' ($2 !5%7$9 : $2-,0* ,0 ($2

North Hollywood (818) 980-4001

SUBSCRIPTIONS One year: $149 (Mailed 1st Class)

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

E<NJ

FC; E<NJ

C<KK<IJ

WHOLE LOTTA DICKS Gays Gone Wrong Ready? OK! is a sweet film, well written, and was completed on a budget that would be less than what is spent on craft services for a hourlong drama. [Paul Birchall’s “Gays Gone Wild,” July 10.] The reviewer apparently took the cast list of the film and immediately said “Oh, it’s that guy from Lost. I must use the adjective ‘creepy’ to describe him.” There is nothing ‘creepy’ about the character in the film OR the actor, Michael Emerson. The review reads like someone has taken the log line of the film and written a paragraph around it without actually viewing the film at all. Ready? OK! has incredible acting performances from the entire cast – Carrie Preston, John Preston, Lurie Poston, and Michael Emerson – throughout the entire movie. –“goaliepam” Via lacitybeat.com I’m afraid I don’t agree with your somewhat attacking review of Ready? OK! I was fortunate enough to see it when it came to the QCinema fest in Texas and was blown away. Not only was the acting phenomenal but the story was something I hadn’t seen before, so I don’t understand you claiming it was generic. Carrie Preston did a standout job of portraying a single mother struggling to understand her son, and Michael Emerson showed just how versatile he truly is by giving a character nothing like his previous roles. But it was Lurie Poston who made the movie. His honest portrayal had everyone in our theater in awe of him. As for the movie feeling like a sitcom, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yes, it did have an independent feel to it, but that is what it is. There were a number of shots that I found fantastic and the lighting was beautiful. All in all, Ready? OK! is a sweet, humorous, and touching movie and James Vasquez did a remarkable job in creating it for everyone to enjoy. –“melissaq9” Via lacitybeat.com Coco Calling Regarding Coco Tanaka’s “Festivus for the Rest of Us,” Eco-Topic, July 10: Coco is always so spot-on! Another true gem. –“dreamydreams” Via lacitybeat.com L.A. Dolls If it’s any consolation, the roller derby event you attended was the first of its kind [Neal Pollack’s “Devil Dolls,” The Last Sportswriter, July 10]. There are only two fully active banked-track roller derby leagues in the world playing regularly scheduled games, and around 300 flat-track leagues. The Lonestar Rollergirls, the Austin league who competed in the tournament, are the other banked-track-derby league. In fact, they started the whole “unscripted roller derby as a real sport” movement in 2001. In the era of nonstaged, unscripted roller derby that started in 2001, this is the first tournament of

any kind, and most certainly the first in roller derby’s 70-year history to have flat-track teams competing as equals. The rule that had the crowd the most confused was one that doesn’t allow the game to end on an unanswered major penalty. It doesn’t come up often, and so the officials aren’t drilled in rapidly executing the remedies. By coming in second to the L.A. Derby Dolls, losing by a single point, the flat track all-star team, “Team Awesome,” ignited a fire in the modern era roller derby world. It’s esoteric, but it proved that flat track teams could compete at an equal level to the best team on the bank track. Before this tournament, no one knew or even suspected that. Earlier this year, the regular (non-all-star) L.A. Derby Doll team, the Tough Cookies, competed and won a game against the Orange County Roller Girls in a flat track minitournament. –Busta Armov Via lacitybeat.com Morans! You, my dear, are a complete Moron! [Rebecca Schoenkopf ’s “Happy Birthday USA!” Commie Girl, July 3.] You have no have clue about this subject. What does Bush v. Gore have to do with it? Nothing!!! You are just a fountain of Hate, mis-information and propaganda that comes straight from your masters’ talking points. Your journalistic prowess is that of a bannana slug [sic]. You should be working where you belong, for the Obama or Nader organizations. –“Rockon” Via lacitybeat.com

BY STEVE LOWERY

Monday, July 7 The LAPD brings disciplinary charges against 17 officers and two sergeants stemming from their actions in the May Day 2007 confrontation between cops, immigration activists, and journalists at MacArthur Park. Reporting to the L.A. Police Commission, LAPD Commander Rick Webb said the charges were related “mostly around the force issues,”and indeed, anyone who saw the videotape of cops plunging into the crowd, batons flailing, shooting “non-lethal” ammo, wrestling to the ground such thugs as KTTV reporter Christina Gonzalez – who suffered a separated shoulder – knows what he’s talking about. As the footage demonstrates – apparently shocking LAPD brass – there was a break from department policy in that it clearly shows many of the protesters not being beaten, not being slugged, not being shot at, and not having their shoulders separated. Officials emphasized this kind of behavior will not be tolerated. There’s also a pride issue at stake. The LAPD, celebrated for its brutality, is apparently embarrassed that its MacArthur Park actions were relatively uninspired and somewhat derivative of stuff the Birmingham Police Dept. was doing back in the ’60s, moving one longtime police critic to lament that the police’s performance was “barely cruel and hardly unusual.” Tuesday, July 8 OK, lemme get this straight. The Bush White House needs to have access to all of my phone calls, text messages, e-mails, library books, credit card purchases, and music downloads because it needs to keep the nation safe from those who would destroy the things we hold sacred – justice for example. But when Karl Rove, Bush’s most trusted advisor, who helped contruct George W’s peeper-state – and pretty much constructed George W – is told he has to testify before Congress as to whether he ordered the firing of U.S. attorneys on political grounds, he refuses, arguing that his right to privacy outweighs the needs of the nation seeking to protect the things we hold sacred, justice for example. Is that how it’s played? Great. Got it. Wednesday, July 9 Clipper power forward Elton Brand signs a five-year contract. Unfortunately, it’s with the Philadelphia 76ers. Brand’s exit comes as a shock to Clippers brass, who say that Brand promised he would re-sign with them and had gone so far as to say he would take less money if the team would sign free agent point guard Baron Davis, which it did. With Brand and Davis, the Clippers were seen as a possible playoff contender in the NBA’s obscenely tough Western Conference. Without Brand, the Clippers are seen as, well, the Clippers. Brand is just getting hammered in the local press and on the sports talk shows. It’s the first time I’ve heard this kind of compassion for the Clips since Danny Ferry refused to play for the team. All of this belies the real issue here: why Clipper owner Donald Sterling takes out those big ads in the L.A.

Not Morans! I just had to drop a note saying how much I’m enjoying almost all of the recent changes to CityBeat. The layout is clean and modern. I love the new columns, Old News, Wonkette, glad you promoted Garmon, and it’s also good to see the old freelancers mostly still here. It would be a perfect world if you’d give Wonkette a slightly larger typeface so the Olds can enjoy it, and bring art opening listings back. And hire Dan Savage away from the Weekly, since they almost never print his column any more anyways. I had mostly stopped reading your paper for a few months, because there just wasn’t that much to read. But the new focus has gotten me seeking it out again. Imagine that, a newspaper adding content in this age! Anyhow, I hope the changes pay off for your paper – the other one has been pretty worthless for too long. –Margaret Wynn Via e-mail Send letters to editor@lacitybeat. com or do it up old school: Letters to the Editor, LA CITYBEAT, 5209 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles 90039.

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

metro.net Times to publicize the “awards� he is continually being “awarded.�

Friday, July 11 A study released by the National Institutes of Health today shows an increase in teen pregnancies for the first time since 1991. This is significant because the Bush White House has pushed abstinence as the only way to battle kids having kids. To thank the president, many of the teens plan on naming their kids after him, so, preschool teachers, get ready to say hello to a whole lot of “Dicks.â€? Saturday, July 12 I just checked. Clippers still suck. Sunday, July 13 Um, to the kids that thought they stole that Bluetooth ear set off the head of that kid, um, that wasn’t a Bluetooth, it was a hearing device needed by the boy, that THREE-YEAR-OLD BOY, named Jose Giron. So congratulations on your $6,000 haul and good luck trying to sell it or sleep at night. Like I said, the thinking is that you didn’t know it was a hearing device, that seeing some machinery in someone’s ear you naturally assumed it was a hands-free cell phone device, but the fact remains you carried out a theft on a kid who was clearly THREE YEARS OLD. Scum? You bet. Here’s hoping by the time they find you the LAPD has reformed its pussified ways.âœś

N<<B<KK< MONDAY Democratic Convention Shaping Up to Be Pricey Organic Disaster It appears the Democrats have come up with an absurdly constipated boondoggle of a convention that will show Americans, once again, exactly why they don’t like electing Democrats. From the massive expense to the terrible lack of planning to the weird diktat about frigging food colors, this whole thing confirms everyone’s worst suspicions about Democrats being spendthrift hippies with the souls of incompetent Soviet bureaucrats. The reporting on this clusterfuck reads like the paranoid scribblings of Rush Limbaugh on a three-day Oxycontin bender. Let’s review the ridiculousness together.The entire wretched event is completely behind schedule. Democratic Convention staffers operate out of plush Denver digs while the budget runs over, and over, and over. t " EJTHVTUFE #BSBDL 0CBNB IBT TFOU TUBGG members out to clean up this hopeless mess, although it might be too late. t &WFSZ DBUFSFS JO %FOWFS IBUFT UIF %FNPDSBUT because they have demanded an inexpensive organic rainbow of locally grown food on every plate. t 5IFSF BSF OP IPUFM SPPNT FWFO GPS SFQPSUFST GSPN respectable national publications. #BTJDBMMZ UIJT JT UIF HB[JMMJPO EPMMBS OBOOZ TUBUF writ large and a huge embarrassment for Obama and every other sane Democrat. Meanwhile, the Republican National Convention will be held in an BCBOEPOFE #JOHP IBMM BOE XJMM GFBUVSF B NFOV PG creamed corn, green bean casserole, and packets of ketchup dissolved in water to make “tomato soup.â€? It will be wildly successful. –Sara K. Smith Did Jesse Helms Die on the Unpatriotic THIRD of July? As we all know, racist old colostomy bag Jesse Helms bravely died on the patriotic anti-gay July 4 day of American Independence ‌ or did he? Our sources in North Carolina say there’s an insane nursing-home cover-up engineered by the Jesse Helms Center’s goons to make gullible racist Americans believe Helms died and went to Hell in the early hours of July 4, when his rancid body actually expired on the night of July 3! Sure, you’re an elitist communist and you’re thinking, “Who could possibly give a shit when Jesse )FMNT EJFE FYDFQU UIBU IF TIPVME WF EJFE PS years ago, when it might’ve made a difference?â€? Well, the kind of ignorant white trash who just love Jesse Helms are not having a real good time of things right now. They are poorer than ever, deeper in debt, their jobs were long ago shipped off to China, and they can’t even afford a gallon of gasoline so they can ride their quad in circles around their shack, which is their main recreation after watching /"4$"3 BOE FBUJOH QBDLT PG )PU $IFFUPT "MTP a nigra is about to be president! As we learned this weekend, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams and Jesus all died on the Fourth of July, proving their Super Patriotism. If Jesse Helms also died on July 4, that would give special comfort to the bitters, while also making slavery retroactively MFHBM BHBJO #VU UIJT JT XIBU XF SF IFBSJOH GSPN PVS southern operatives: “It appears that the little shit, Helms, might BDUVBMMZ IBWF EJFE BU Q N PO BOE UIF nursing home faked the records.â€? We asked for details, proof, linkage, and about all we’ve learned for sure is that this rumor appeared in the comments of a New York Times post about Helms’s death and then the comments were disappeared, the same way Helms’s right-wing death-squad boyfriends in Latin America disappeared their freedom-loving enemies! Today, we’re hearing through a “contactâ€? at the Mayview Convalescent Center in Raleigh – where Helms died and spent his last rotten years – that the nursing home deliberately falsified the time of death, probably on orders from the Jesse Helms Center. If true, this proves that Jesse Helms actually went to Hell on the gay-lesbian-black Marxist July 3 holiday, “Juneteenth.â€? –Ken Layne

Metro Briefs SAN GABRIEL VALLEY

Avoid Highway Robbery. Go Metro Losing your duel at the fuel pump with high gas prices? Learn how to avoid it altogether and Go Metro. Join the thousands of new riders on Metro Rail or get anywhere in the county on Metro bus. Consider joining a carpool or vanpool and cut your fuel budget in half. Find out how you can do it all at metro.net.

Atlantic Boulevard Gets Fast And Frequent With running times up to 25% faster than local bus service, the Metro Rapid treatment is now serving Atlantic Boulevard. Line 762 will serve Fair Oaks Avenue and Atlantic Boulevard between Pasadena and the Metro Rail Artesia Station. Find out more at metro.net.

$32 Billion Economic Gain Seen For Sales Tax Local economists project transportation construction from a proposed ½-cent sales tax would generate $32 billion in economic activity and create employment equal to 210,000 full-time jobs over a 30-year period. The sales tax measure is being considered for placement on the November ballot.

Gold Line Ridership Hits Record Thousands are discovering Metro is a convenient and a=ordable way to get around in this era of nearly $5-a-gallon gasoline. The number of passengers on the Metro Gold Line between downtown LA and Pasadena recently set a record with more than 23,000 daily riders.

Get Involved In Metro Service August 11 Improve transit service in your community. Attend Metro San Gabriel Valley’s Governance Council meeting Monday, August 11 at 5 pm, at the sector o;ce, 3449 Santa Anita Avenue, Third Floor, El Monte. For information, search for “Metro San Gabriel Valley� at metro.net.

Bob Barr On Target to Ruin John McCain’s Life #PC #BSS MPPLT MJLF 3FWFSFOE +FSFNJBI 8SJHIU BOE will probably cost John McCain the election, and for UIFTF UXP SFBTPOT BMPOF #BSBDL 0CBNB NBLFT MPWF UP #PC #BSS T WPPEPP EPMM JO IJT IZQFSCBSJD )PQF chamber every night. You see, 6% of Zogby poll respondents said they would vote for the Libertarian DBOEJEBUF GPS QSFTJEFOU BOE UIJT JT UIF FYBDU TJ[F PG the margin Obama leads by. Score one for Liberty! As time goes on, conservatives will probably figure out they are better off voting for Old Loser .D$BJO UIBO )PQFMFTT $BVTF #BSS CVU IJTUPSZ UFMMT us that the Libertarian only needs the votes of a DPVQMF IVOESFE PME MBEJFT JO 1BMN #FBDI $PVOUZ JO order to hand over the election to ‌ Nader. –SKS July 4 Bush Speech Censors Thomas Jefferson Thomas Jefferson invented July 4, by writing the Declaration of Independence for “Independence

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

If you’d like to know more, please call us at 1.800.464.2111, or visit metro.net.

SGV-LE-09-001 Š2008 LACMTA

Thursday, July 10 The radio airwaves are abuzz – abuzz, confound you! – with les affair Brand. Some are saying that Brand was a pawn of agent David Falk, who many believe has a grudge against the Clippers. Brand says the Clippers gave him a “take-it-orleave-it� offer that he found insulting. Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy goes on the Mason and Ireland show on KSPN 710 and disputes that, saying that Brand told him what he wanted in the way of a contract, that he relayed that information to club president Andy Roeser, who relayed it to Sterling, and that they said to give him whatever he wanted. Brand, of course, disputes this. Dunleavy, of course, disputes that. But one thing that is beyond dispute is that no one, nowhere or at any time, is mentioning the name of Elgin Baylor. This is significant because Elgin Baylor happens to be the Clippers vice president in charge of basketball operations. On any other reasonably functioning NBA team, he’s the guy who would be negotiating contracts, the guy who Brand and/or Falk would talk to. Not a coach. Phil Jackson does not negotiate contracts. But what the Brand case has glaringly shown is that Baylor’s duties with the Clippers lie somewhere between figurehead and casino greeter. Baylor was hired to run the team based largely on his stature as Player-Immortal. But as the man in charge for 22 seasons, he has managed to produce just two winning teams. No person in Baylor’s position with any other major sports franchise would have been given this kind of ongoing mulligan. The fact that throughout the Brand thing no has asked “What does Elgin Baylor think?� or even “Where was Elgin Baylor?� shows that no one expects much of him. Or the Clippers.

N<<B<KK< Day,� and later writing the Constitution, and then patriotically dropping dead on July 4. This is why George W. Bush went to Jefferson’s famous slave brothel, Monticello, to read a July 4 speech that quoted Jefferson except for the part of the quote where Jefferson said Christians were idiots. Here’s what Bush tried to read while everybody heckled him: “On the 50th anniversary of America’s independence, Thomas Jefferson passed away. But before leaving this world, he explained that the principles of the Declaration of Independence were universal. In one of the final letters of his life, he wrote, ‘May it be to the world, what I believe it will be – to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all – the Signal of arousing men to burst the chains, and to assume the blessings and security of self-government.’� The actual letter says this: “May it be to the world, what I believe it will be (to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all), the signal of arousing men to burst the chains under which monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings and security of selfgovernment.� Yeah dude looks like you forgot the good part. –KL Colorado Candidate Jailed for Choking His Daughter Jefferson County school board member and Colorado legislative candidate Vince Chowdhury just sort of “lost it� when his goddamned wife and daughter didn’t open the garage door quickly enough when he was sitting in the driveway HONKING THE HORN, so he went to jail, because he allegedly grabbed his 16-year-old daughter’s throat, with both hands, and choked her, until she bit him, and then she hid in the bathroom until the Sheriff’s Department arrived. But what’s really funny are the comments on the Denver Post article: t * CFU UIBU HBSBHF EPPS XJMM HP VQ B MPU RVJDLFS UIF next time though. t 5IJT HVZ TIPVME CF B DPQ t 8IBU BO (FU PVU BOE PQFO UIF EPPS yourself. Big man, slapping around a teenage girl. t 5IF HVZ SFHVMBSMZ QVMMT VQ UP IJT IPVTF IPOLT UIF horn, and expects his family to run and open the door? Dude, garage door openers are cheap. His neighbors should have choked him long ago. –KL

E<NJ

;<J<IK I8KKC<I

TOO POOR, DUMB, AND UGLY BY KEN LAYNE

F

ew people move to the Mojave Desert by choice. It’s usually the last stop on a long road of regrettable decisions and bad luck, a vast dumping ground for everything too poor, dumb, and ugly for Los Angeles and its gentler climate. Looking for a nice little bank-owned stucco box surrounded by thousands of other foreclosures? Not moving up the Gang Management ladder back in L.A.? Want to bomb things for the Marines by day and burglarize houses in Barstow by night? Got a disability check and a neckload of tattoos? Child support payments cramping your style? Need to dress up in a multi-colored rubber suit and ride a motorized dildo in dust-cloud

Spanish took a look around and sanely decided to stay on the mild green coasts. Only an American could look at this thirsty wind-blasted land and think, “Yeah, I’ll just drop a trailer and a propane tank on this acre of creosote sand and pay a few bucks from my Social Security for the water truck to stop by every few weeks.� Hike down some apparently forgotten jackrabbit trail in the Joshua Tree foothills on the north side of the San Gabriels, and a ravine full of construction pallets and wrecked pickup trucks and crusted old jockey shorts will break your heart. A pleasant path through gnarled old junipers and sagebrush will invariably end at an OHV-rutted wasteland covered in

shooting range. Painted on the side of “a now-vacant printer shop,� the mural of Jesus was terribly defaced by a cruel vandal who blacked out the eyes of Christ and “added a mustache.� Some guy who used to own the abandoned building “commissioned� the painting two decades earlier, to “show his repentance for actions in his younger days as a biker.� Who would do that, to Jesus, in Lenwood of all places? I finished my breakfast, Google-mapped the intersection and found the mural, just a half-hour up the road at the crossroads of the next vaguely habitated settlement between Stoddard Wells and Barstow. I called for

circles around your double wide? There’s another desert, of course – the one without the obese hordes, the jacked-up-pickup traffic jams, the insane jarheads, the filthy haze spilling over from the “Inland Empire,� the Hummer stretch limos parked at the AM/PM in Baker on Sunday afternoon, a bloated orange-skinned gal vomiting out of every passenger door. That other desert is the majestically weird Mojave of Mary Austin’s “Land of Little Rain� and Edmund Jaeger’s “California Deserts,� a land of shocking beauty and bizarre creatures and beautiful solitude that still exists, often just beyond the I-15 and the miles-long junkyards and the grim brown suburbs of our current Stucco Apocalypse. The Indians wintered here, and had the common sense to go to the mountains and rivers during the crushing summers. The

Bud Lite cans and plastic shotgun shells, a couple of wild-eyed shirtless meth cases firing at an abandoned car, an ice chest, their unneutered pit bull, anything that does or doesn’t move. Meanwhile, there is breaking news. It’s right there on the front of the Victor Valley daily newspaper’s local section, our four-days-late, awkwardly assembled chronicle of the muggings and murders and carjackings and suicides-by-cop which generally happen beneath the security halogens in the parking lots of fresh new half-empty strip malls next to fresh new half-empty subdivisions. “Landmark Jesus mural in Lenwood defaced by vandals.� This is just the kind of story you want to read while having tacos al pastor and beer and iced tea at Taco Chon on the parched hill over the I-15 frontage road across from the landfill and next to the

the check. Old Route 66 runs through the crumbling, closed-down roadside businesses and troubling trailer parks of Lenwood, but now we are supposed to call the Mother Road the “National Trails Highway.â€? Ah, there was Jesus. The bucket of black paint was still there in the dry dirt, along with the usual cigarette butts, Kleenex, sports drink bottles, and hamburger wrappers. Faded Jesus actually looked a little better with the blackened eyes and Latin Lover mustache over his weak blonde beard of old. Behind the abandoned print shop was a typical Mojave tableau of battered mobile homes, decrepit cars up on blocks, trash piles, and makeshift sun shelters. Nothing was open for a block in any direction. A few late-model pickups sped by in the 104-degree afternoon, burning $5-a-gallon gas.âœś

TUESDAY Put That Thing Away, John McCain In a Denver candy shop yesterday, John McCain asked a voter, “How about some old-fashioned fudge?â€? and the voter fell on the floor laughing about what a pervy old gaywad he was, the end. –SKS Barack Obama’s Broken Plane Was Actually ‌ Hillary Clinton’s Plane! Yesterday, Barack Obama almost died in a fiery plane crash above lovely St. Louis, and you know what, it’s his own fault. Thought experiment: Imagine you are a Jew. If, as a Jew, you are borrowing a car, you wouldn’t borrow it from Adolf Hitler, right? It would probably have a bomb set to the ignition (Hitler famously disliked the Jews). With that in mind: “This was not Obama’s regular campaign plane, which is being overhauled. It was a loaner, having previously been used by Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY.â€? When will dumb old Barack Obama realize that Hillary Clinton is actively trying to kill him? –Jim Newell

Dick Cheney Does New Thing That Dick Cheney Would Obviously Do So what’s been going on with our greatest Vice President, Richard “Dick� Cheney, since we last spoke? Nothing much, just some new revelations about Cheney bein’ Cheney, hatin’ on the environment and such. In this latest news cycle, we have the tale of that time Cheney’s office once edited out six pages of the CDC director’s testimony to Congress regarding this: “CDC considers climate change a serious public health concern.� Silly egotistical CDC director. She’s obviously one of those people who gets pissed when her editors shake things up a bit – cutting commas, switching grafs, deleting major theses about climate change killing everyone, correcting split infinitives even if they do “sound� better. Any editor has dealt with these twits. We sympathize, Dick. –JN Huckabee: Obama Sucks Now Because He’s Not Jesse Helms Mike Huckabee appeared on Hannity & Colmes last night to weigh in on Barack Obama’s complete move to the center in the last few weeks. Now, we made up our minds about this slimeball Obama after Charles Krauthammer observantly noted that Obama “assiduously obliterates all differences with McCain on national security and social issues� in his positioning these days. If one thing is true in this life, it’s that Charles Krauthammer HAS THE MIND OF TWENTY EINSTEINS. And yet here comes Mike Huckabee, offering yet another take on Obama’s all-encompassing triangulation. Huckabee says everything we’ve always thought but never quite realized: Barack Obama – to his detriment – is becoming less and less like Jesse Helms every single day. Here’s what Our Mike told the Fox News people:

PHOTO BY KEN LAYNE

Gray-Haired Barack Obama Commences Human Process of ‘Oldening’ Have you noticed that Barack Obama’s hair is getting grayer? Because boy howdy these days he looks like the love child of Anderson Cooper and Donna Brazile. He is aging so rapidly that soon he will be older than John McCain. –SKS

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

N<<B<KK< Well, Americans have consistently rejected the George McGoverns and the Michael Dukakises, the people who clearly and unapologetically are out there on the left – the Walter Mondales who said, I’m going to raise your taxes. So when liberals are honest about being liberals, they get beat. I think it’s a situation – you know, you had the little clip of Jesse Helms at the opening of the show, and I’m thinking, what a contrast. The thing that many of us loved and admired about Jesse Helms was that, here was a guy, he didn’t care what you thought about his view, but you were going to always know where he stood because he stood for something and he stood clearly. I think we’re not seeing that in Barack Obama especially in relationship – to his position on the war. Spot on. If Barack Obama had the courage to tap into his Inner Helms, you know what he’d do? He’d drop out of this race immediately, because he has no business taking a white man’s job. –JN WEDNESDAY Clintonites Confused by Obama Supporters’ Reluctance to Bail Them out of Campaign Debt The saddest thing about Hillary Clinton dropping out of the presidential race was the prospect that we might never again see a news story about the hilarious wankocracy that was Team Clinton. But hurrah, her campaign lives on, in the form of her campaign debt, which will never be retired because Obama’s people are so MEAN. When Barack Obama sent out a note to his top donors asking them to slide Hillary a few dollars, here is what they said: t i8IZ XPVME * IFMQ QBZ PGG EFCUT UIBU )JMMBSZ BNBTTFE simply to keep damaging Senator Obama?� t i(BT QSJDFT BSF VQ UIF NBSLFUT BSF JO UVSNPJM NZ kid’s fall tuition bill is coming soon. Writing checks to politicians I don’t like is not at the top of my list.� t i/PU B QFOOZ GPS UIBU XPNBO 0S IFS IVTCBOE 0S o god forbid – Mark Penn.� So ‌ things are going great! And of course, big Clinton donors are very, very hurt that they haven’t been able to buy their way into the Obama campaign. They IBWFO U FWFO CFFO HJWFO BXFTPNF UJUMFT MJLF i)JMMSBJTFSTw And Barack Obama spends all his time campaigning for president instead of raising money for Hillary, which makes him un-American. –SKS

LONG BEACH COALITION FOR GOOD JOBS AND HEALTHY COMMUNITIES Thursday, July 10 As soon as I drove into downtown Long Beach, I saw a big cardboard cut-out of a chef surrounded by a plethora of picketers. Sweet, I must be in the right place. Members of the Long Beach Coalition for Good Jobs and Healthy Communities – hotel workers and community supporters – all gathered outside the Hilton in downtown Long Beach. The protest stayed in the proximity of the tourist-friendly Pike – the dandified and Disneyfied Bubba Gump’s version of the scary and toothless Pike of Long Beach’s scary and toothless Navy years. They marched past the Aquarium and the Ferris wheel, then rallied past the boat docks, attractions that make outsiders MJLF NZTFMG iPPIw BOE iBIIw BOE UIJOL XPX UIJT QMBDF IBT TPNF DIBSBDUFS 8FMM TVSF o XIFO UIF DJUZ has spent more than $450 million to redevelop Pine Avenue and its twee environs and subsidize hotel projects and tourist attractions, of course visitors will eat that shit up. According to The District Weekly, Long Beach contributed $6.7 million in subsidies to the Hyatt from the city’s Tidelands Trust for construction costs and secured for the hotel a $3 million federal grant, charging just $200,000 a year in rent for 8.5 acres of waterfront land in return for an expected profit of $21 million in its first 10 years. But it didn’t work out in the city’s favor. By 1994, the hotel hadn’t paid a penny of rent and owed the city $27 million. Combined with tourist attractions still mired in debt, the city continues to dig itself into a deeper hole. Meanwhile, despite the subsidies, the lack of rent, and occupancy rates that are third highest in the country, Long Beach’s hotels employ workers who are grossly underpaid, said Kristine Zentgraf, a NFNCFS PG UIF -POH #FBDI *NNJHSBUJPO $PBMJUJPO BOE B $BM 4UBUF QSPGFTTPS i*U T UJNF UIF IPUFMT QMBZFE B more positive role to [their workers].� *O B TFB PG QFPQMF XJUI TJHOT BSPVOE UIFJS OFDL SFBEJOH i8F BSF UIF IFBSU PG -POH #FBDI w CBOHJOH ESVNT BOE FWFO B i:FT 8F $BOw TJHO * DIBUUFE XJUI TJOHMF NPUIFS .ZFTJB .JNNT B GSPOU EFTL DMFSL BU the Hilton for over three years. Mimms lives in the city, like most of her fellow employees, paying $800 a month in rent while making $10 an hour. Her two-year-old son has health care, but Mimms has none for herself. i*G ZPV SF OPU XIJUF ZPV DBO U HP IJHIFS w .JNNT FYQMBJOFE XIFO TIF BUUFNQUFE UP HP UP EJGGFSFOU EFQBSUNFOUT i5IFZ TIPVME HJWF VT SFTQFDU PS BU MFBTU BGGPSEBCMF IFBMUI DBSF w Most of these workers can’t afford health insurance and rely on second jobs or public assistance. Long Beach currently has at least 11 hotel projects with more than 1,200 rooms in various stages of the planning process. The Coalition and its workers hope that while the hotel industry is increasing, they won’t continue to be left behind. --Heather Price

âœś

John Kerry And John McCain No Longer Super Good Pals Just four short years ago, John Kerry loved John McCain so much he repeatedly implored the angry little fraud to be his running mate in his ultimately failed bid for president. And John McCain said no, because he wanted to lose on his own, four years later! This caused irreparable damage to their wonderful fairytale friendship. Little-known fact: both John Kerry and John McCain fought in the Vietnam War. But when they came back from the war, the Democratic John called a bunch of soldiers war criminals while the Republican John smoked valiantly in a chair and stayed in the Navy. Later on, they became pals, but then the 2004 election happened and John McCain told everybody in UIF QSFTT i)B IB UIJT KBDLIPMF XBOUT UP NBLF NF IJT Veep,� and then McCain commenced selling out to the conservatives who still hate him, and now the two Johns do not hang out with each other very much. "OE +PIO ,FSSZ TBJE +PIO .D$BJO XBT iVOCFMJFWBCMZ PVU PG UPVDIw BOE iDPOGVTFEw XIFO IF UBMLFE BCPVU OPU being in any big hurry to pull troops out of Iraq. John McCain wants his friendship bracelet and his Flowbee back. –SKS FISA Overhaul Passes in Senate as Expected; You Should Probably Never Use a Telephone Again After an exciting day of voting, the Senate has voted in favor of the new FISA surveillance bill, 69-28, and George Bush will now sign it into law in his secret masturbatorium. Earlier in the day it rejected an amendment to strip retroactive immunity for telecom companies facing wiretapping lawsuits, 66-32; an amendment to have a district judge assess warrantless wiretapping before granting immunity, 61-37; and an amendment to delay immunity until after a yearlong government investigation into warrantless wiretapping, 56-42. Barack Obama voted for the three failed amendments and later voted for the underlying bill. John McCain did not show up to vote for anything, because he is too busy calling Obama a sally for voting. Hillary Clinton voted for all three amendments but voted against the final bill. Jim Webb shot everyone in the face for stealing from his knapsack of oats, which he carries on his person at all times. –JN Jesse Jackson Apologizes for Monstrous Hideous Racist Sexist Homophobe Nativist Jew Remarks Against Obama Hey, small question: what were Jesse Jackson’s remarks? –JN Oh Good God Jesse Jackson, This Might Be Rich OK, we’re starting to get a basic idea of what Jesse Jackson said, to a hidden microphone, about Barack Obama today. Here’s his paraphrase in an interview with CNN (the actual footage will be shown in full on Fox /FXT o PG DPVSTF o BU Q N UPOJHIU i5IBU UIF TFOBUPS was cutting off his, you know whats, with black people BOE CMBDL DIVSDI w i:PV LOPX XIBUTw 8F SF HPJOH UP HP XJUI iIPUDBLFT w /P inBQKBDLT w /0 &7&/ #&55&3 :&5 o i7"(*/"4 w )& 4 $655*/( 0'' )*4 7"( &4 8*5) THE BLACKS. –JN

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

THURSDAY N.C. State Employee Picks Retirement Over Lowering Flag for Dead Jesse Helms .FFU B CSBWF "NFSJDBO )FSP - ' &BTPO *** UIF i ZFBS veteran of the state Department of Agricultureâ€? who chose early retirement over the foul task of lowering the American Flag to half mast for the dead bigot Jesse Helms. Eason went to work for the North Carolina government right out of college, and spent 29 years working for the state’s Department of Agriculture. Now, at the age of 51, he has taken retirement rather than allow his small staff at Raleigh’s North Carolina Standards -BCPSBUPSZ UP MPXFS UIF nBH GPS USBTI MJLF +FTTF )FMNT the dead piece of trash. –KL Hey People Did You Know John McCain Is Still Pro Life? A lot of people think John McCain supports abortion rights and other things many ladies care about, even though he doesn’t support these things. One of those confused people is McCain’s potential lady running-mate Carly 'JPSJOB 0O .POEBZ TIF TBJE i5IFSF BSF NBOZ IFBMUI insurance plans that will cover Viagra but won’t cover birth control medication. Those women would like a choice.â€? But of course John McCain voted twice against legislation that would require insurance companies to cover birth control. Because seriously gals, just keep it in your pants! 0I BOE BMTP SFDFOUMZ TIF TBJE +PIO .D$BJO iIBT OFWFS signed on to efforts to overturn Roe vs. Wadeâ€? even though he has promised repeatedly to appoint Supreme Court judges who would overturn Roe vs. Wade. Carly Fiorina will soon be banished to work on a chain gang with Charlie Black, Rick Renzi, Peter Keating and a bunch of Iranian cigarette addicts until President Obama’s second swearing-in. Meanwhile, John McCain will be gobbling free Viagra and chasing Cindy around his Exclusive Sedona Ranch. –SKS Astronomy Is Racist On Monday some Dallas County commissioners were talking about problems processing traffic tickets, and this POF DPNNJTTJPOFS TBJE DFOUSBM DPMMFDUJPOT iIBT CFDPNF a black hole.â€? Not one but two of his fellow officials demanded an apology for his racially insensitive remark. Oh goodness! A lot of the commentary on this blog post BCPVU UIF JODJEFOU JT QSFUUZ GPVM CVU PVS IBU T PGG UP i%PO *NVT w XIP XSJUFT i*U T OPU MJLF UIFZ DBMMFE JU B OBQQZ headed hole. Now THAT would be outrageous.â€? –SKS George Bush Jr. Makes Annual ‘National Embarrassment Joke’ At G8 Oh George Bush is having quite a grand time at the annual G8 conference in Japan. He’s not molesting Angela .FSLFM UIJT UJNF CVU IF JT FNCBSSBTTJOH FWFSZPOF i5IF American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: ‘Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.’ He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.â€? Punched the air? Best George W. Bush imagery ever. –JN Anti-Gay Alabama A.G. Caught Being Gay This may come as a shock, but a prominent antihomosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the sordid details. AG in question is Troy King, who, of course, is only interested in outlawing homosexuality and sex toys. His HBZ MPWFS JT FJUIFS B DPMMFHF iCVEEZ w PS B WFSZ ZPVOH ZPVOHTUFS BOE i)PNFDPNJOH ,JOHw GSPN 5SPZ 6OJWFSTJUZ What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy 6OJWFSTJUZ 5IJT TFFNT MJLF B XBDLZ TJUDPN QMPU PO B gay porn channel. (Is this what that Will & Grace was about?) –KL FRIDAY News Anchors Cannot Say ‘Nuts’ on Air, Hilarity Ensues So yeah, apparently the Hays code or whatever prevents ZPV GSPN TBZJOH iOVUTw PO UIF UFFWFF VOMFTT ZPV NFBO iDSB[Zw PS iDPOTVNBCMF GPPE JUFNT UIBU DPNF JO shells.â€? So if you are Wolf Blitzer, you rattle on about the horrifying crudity of a particular phrase that Jesse Jackson uttered, and then you make all your guests kind PG TUVNCMF BSPVOE BXLXBSEMZ BCPVU iUIJOHT POMZ B NBO would have,â€? so that Americans everywhere turn to each PUIFS BOE BTL i*T IF UBMLJOH BCPVU DVN SBHT w o4,4 John McCain, Closet Bigamist? Everybody knows the sad story about how John McCain catted around on his crippled wife with a fetching young beer heiress. But now it appears he was actually sort of married to both Mrs. McCains at the same time, in the sense that he had a marriage license with #2 before his divorce to #1 had been finalized! Why does John McCain hate America? John McCain was such an amoral dingus back in the day that even the Reagans held it against him. McCain, XIP DBMMT IJNTFMG iB GPPU TPMEJFS JO UIF 3FBHBO SFWPMVUJPO w TBJE JO IJT NFNPJS i.Z EJWPSDF GSPN $BSPM XIPN UIF Reagans loved, caused a change in our relationship. Nancy [‌] was particularly upset with me and treated me on the few occasions we encountered each other after I came to Congress with a cool correctness that made her displeasure clear. i* IBE PG DPVSTF EFTFSWFE UIF DIBOHF JO PVS relationship.â€? Correction: John McCain does not hate America. He JT B nFFU GPPUFE "NFSJDBO IFSP SPNBODFS XIP QSPCBCMZ already has like six marriage licenses lined up for his next string of brides. –SKS

E<NJ

PLIGHT OF THE CONDOR The Ridley-Tree Condor Preservation Act in action BY CARMAN TSE

T

Danielle Feinberg DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY (LIGHTING)

Pixar Animation Studios

“A N A M A Z I N G E N E R G Y is brought about by thousands of peoplewho love computer graphics all being in the same place at the same time. There’s nothing else like going to SIGGRAPH.� See, hear, and interact with the world’s creative and technical experts behind this year’s latest innovations. Classes, Panels, Technical Papers, and the best in animation and visual effects, the Computer Animation Festival. I N F O R M AT I O N & R E G I S T R AT I O N

W W W. S I G G R A P H . O R G / S 2 0 0 8

SIGGRAPH2008 Evolve

11-15 August 2008

Los Angeles Convention Center

THE 35TH INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE AND EXHIBITION ON COMPUTER GRAPHICS AND INTERACTIVE TECHNIQUES

he faint and fading beep is almost drowned in static from the radio receiver that Jesse Grantham is holding as we stand by a country road west of I-5 in Kern County. And as soon as we hear it, the signal disappears. From our location in the San Joaquin Valley, it was unlikely we would spot a California condor anyway. The large birds prefer the thermals of their higher elevations in the Transverse Ranges to soar the skies without ever flapping their nine-foot wingspans. By now, most are familiar with the California condor’s status as one of the most endangered species in the United States. Currently, there are fewer than 340 individuals that make up the population, with less than half of that number in the wild. In 1987, that number was down to 22, with the last known individual in the wild caught on Easter Sunday of that year. Since then, through an intensive captive breeding program led by the San Diego Wild Animal Park and the Los Angeles Zoo, their numbers have climbed, and individuals were reintroduced to the wild beginning in 1991. A senior official with the Fish and Wildlife Service leading the condor recovery effort, Grantham is taking me out to Wind Wolves Preserve about 30 miles southwest of Bakersfield. The largest privately owned nature preserve on the West Coast, according to Grantham it is one of the prime spots to view the 35 wild condors in the region. Enforcement of the Ridley-Tree Condor Preservation Act (AB 821), a ban on the use of lead ammunition while hunting in designated condor habitat, began July 1; violations can get a hunter fined up to $5,000. In the weeks leading up to the ban, seven birds were brought in for treatment of elevated lead levels, including one condor that eventually died. “It’s alarming to see such a concentration of cases within a month time frame,� says Curtis Eng, chief veterinarian of the Los Angeles Zoo, who oversaw treatment of the birds. Lead poisoning has been known to afflict the birds at least since the 1980s, and typically one or two are treated every year for it, ingesting the metal from shot embedded in the carcasses left by hunters. The number of cases, however, put the Fish and Wildlife Service in, as Grantham put it, “crisis mode.� According to Grantham, the high number of cases within such a short period of time was most likely the result of a single source. Pending lab results, the source remains a mystery, but within the foraging habitat of the Southern California population, hunting is only permitted at privately owned Tejon Ranch, which controls 270,000 acres spanning the Tehachapi Mountains. In response to the lead poisoning incidents, Tejon temporarily suspended the use of firearms on their property for a month. While it may seem to be in the common interest of Californians to protect condors, the Ridley-Tree Act faced some opposition before it was signed by Governor Schwarzenegger in October of last year, resulting in a Fish and Game commissioner losing his job. Although a Republican and a hunter himself, R. Judd Hanna, an advocate of the bill, was forced to

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

resign from his position last September after a letter sent by 34 GOP lawmakers to the governor called for his removal. Unsurprisingly, the NRA and the hunting lobby were among the most vocal critics and the bill passed the state legislature along party lines. According to the NRA Members’ Councils of California website, “AB 821 and similar regulatory restrictions are not designed to protect the California condor. They are designed to cripple hunting.� Furthermore, hunters cite that alternatives such as copper alloys may cost twice as much as lead. While the act requires Fish and Game “to provide hunters ... with nonlead ammunition at no or reduced cost through a coupon program,� it prefaces this provision with the catch “to the extent funding is available.� A brochure available on the Fish and Game website simply states, “There is no funding to implement the coupon program.�

T

he dire state of the California condor and the hurdles the Ridley-Tree Act faced before passing are only a microcosm of the state of the environmental movement in the world around us. In his letter of resignation, Hanna addressed his opponents, including the NRA, by stating, “We may be missing what could, perhaps, be our last opportunity to salvage not only the reputation of our hunting community, but also hunting itself in California ... . Poisoning the California condor is neither honorable nor ethical.â€? Among the most expensive and highprofile species recovery efforts in the United States, the California condor has had an estimated $40 million invested in it over the past 20 years, with over half of that estimated to be federal funding. A week stay for chelation treatment for lead poisoning can cost up to $1,200. Indeed, with such a large sum placed on the future of one species already on the brink, it seems almost silly to spend so much on these birds. Some academics have argued for letting the species die off, claiming they are merely a relic of the past already on its way out with the extinction of the Pleistocene-era megafauna. But Grantham argues, “Who makes that decision? Look at the cases of mortality: poaching, lead poisoning, eating carcasses tainted by cyanide, habitat loss,â€? placing responsibility on humans to clean up the mess they created. We eventually make it to the top of a ridge inside Wind Wolves preserve flanked by mountains to our east and south. Picking up strong signals from about seven condors on this hot afternoon, we see them from about three miles off. Presumably foraging for food not too far from where a carcass was dropped off last week, the birds appear as small as a speck of dust through our binoculars. One of the birds we see, simply identified as #374, was one of those seven brought in to the L.A. Zoo for treatment in June. Today it is out here, floating freely with its kin. With a bit of optimism in his voice, Grantham notes, “We’re about two-thirds of the way there.â€?âœś

Dare you to experience 3G speed. Exclusively from Verizon Wireless Get the boldly designed all-new LG Dare™ on our high-speed 3G network. >Large all-touch finger-flying QWERTY screen >Send and receive email, IM, pix and vidz >Edit and upload pix with a 3.2 megapixel camera

19999

$

$249.99 2-yr. price – $50 mail-in rebate. With new 2-yr. activation on a new Nationwide Calling Plan.

Switch to America’s Most Reliable ble Wir Wireless reless Network.Ž Call 1.800.2.JOIN.IN

Click verizonwireless.com eless.ccom

V Vis Visit isit any store

VERIZON WIRELESS COMMUNICATIONS STORES Store hours: Mon–Fri 9am–9pm; Sat 9am–8pm; Sun 10am–7pm. Hours at select stores and malls may vary. APPLE VALLEY Now open! 19179 Bear Valley Rd. Now Open! Apple Valley Commons (760) 247-7799 ARCADIA Santa Anita Mall Kiosk (626) 574-2040 BALDWIN HILLS Baldwin Hills Mall Kiosk (323) 291-6827 BALDWIN PARK 14540 Garvey Ave. (626) 472-6196 BURBANK Burbank Empire Center (818) 842-2722 CARSON 20820 Avalon Blvd. (310) 329-9325 CERRITOS Now Open! 12603 Towne Ctr. Drive (562) 809-5650 Los Cerritos Center Kiosk (562) 860-7714

CHINO 3825 Grand Ave. (909) 591-9740 CITY OF COMMERCE 5438 E. Whittier Blvd. (323) 725-9750 CITY OF INDUSTRY 17515 Colima Rd. (626) 839-5155 COMPTON 237 E. Compton Blvd. (310) 603-0101 CORONA 2540 Tuscany St. (951) 898-0980 390 McKinley St. (951) 549-6400 CULVER CITY 10814 Jefferson Blvd. (310) 838-1044 CYPRESS 6856 Katella Ave. (714) 899-4690 DOWNEY Stonewood Mall Kiosk (562) 904-9085 Downey Landing (562) 401-1045

FONTANA 16771 Valley Blvd. (909) 427-1800 Now Open! 16695 Sierra Lakes Pkwy. (909) 355-0725 GLENDALE 1327 Glendale Galleria (818) 553-0470 GLENDORA 1331 S. Lonehill (909) 592-5211 HAWTHORNE 5070 Rosecrans Ave. (310) 263-2949 HOLLYWOOD 1503 N. Vine St. (323) 465-0640 HUNTINGTON PARK 6400 Pacific Blvd. (323) 826-9880 INGLEWOOD 3419 W. Century Blvd. (310) 673-1443 LA HABRA 1401 W. Imperial Hwy. (562) 694-8630

VISIT THE VERIZON WIRELESS STORE INSIDE CIRCUIT CITY. STAFFED WITH VERIZON WIRELESS EMPLOYEES ďšť EXCLUSIVE OFFERS AVAILABLE!

LAKEWOOD Lakewood Mallll Kiosk (562) 408-0861 4329 Candlewood St. (562) 633-5030 LONG BEACH 2894 Bellflower Blvd. (562) 429-8223 LOS ANGELES 100 N. La Cienega Blvd. (310) 659-0775 3458 Wilshire Blvd. (213) 380-2299 LYNWOOD 3170 E. Imperial Hwy. (310) 603-0036 MARINA DEL REY 13455 Washington Blvd. (310) 821-7111 MIRA LOMA 12459 Limonite Ave. (951) 361-1850 MONTCLAIR 5094 Montclair Plaza Ln. (909) 398-1579 MONTEBELLO 2028 Montebello Town Center Dr. (323) 728-8708

BURBANK CITY OF INDUSTRY COMPTON CULVER CITY GLENDALE

HOLLYWOOD LAKEWOOD LONG BEACH LOS ANGELES

MOORPARK Now Open! 766 Los Angeles Ave. St. 6 (805) 530-0988 NORCO 1180 Hamner Ave. (951) 372-0096 ONTARIO 961 Milliken Ave. (909) 481-7897 Ontario Mills Mall (909) 987-0313 PASADENA 368 S. Lake Ave. (626) 395-0956 PICO RIVERA 8724 Washington Blvd. (562) 942-8527 REDONDO BEACH South Bay Galleria Kiosk (310) 370-7131 SANTA MONICA 2530 Wilshire Blvd. (310) 828-1279 SHERMAN OAKS 14360 Ventura Blvd. (818) 907-1871

MONTCLAIR MONTEBELLO NORTHRIDGE NORWALK

TORRANCE 24329 Crenshaw Blvd. (310) 891-6991 Now Open! 21841 Hawthorne Blvd. VALENCIA Coming Soon! 24201 Valencia Blvd., Ste. 2018 WALNUT PARK Coming Soon! 2106 E. Florence Ave. WEST COVINA West Covina Mall (626) 851-9992 West Covina Mall Kiosk (626) 939-0409 WESTWOOD Coming Soon! WHITTIER 12376 Washington Blvd. (562) 789-0911

Hablamos espaĂąol

PALMDALE PASADENA POMONA SANTA MONICA

SEAL BEACH SIGNAL HILL TORRANCE WEST COVINA

' ( ' $# ! # $% & $# %* " !* % ! #+ ! # & ) *% "'& 0 &! / /+ 0./+)!- #)/ ((%*# ( * -! /! "+-) * -! %/ ,,-+1 ( , /+ ! -(4 /!-)%* /%+* "!! (%*! +/$!- $ -#!. 7( $ -#!. +* %/%+*. ,,(4 ""!-. * +1!- #! 1 -4%*# 4 .!-1% ! *+/ 1 %( (! !1!-42$!-! * (!. / 3 .! +* "0(( -!/ %( ,-% ! +" ,$+*! ! /!. / '! 0, /+ 2!!'. %)%/! /%)! +""!-. $%(! .0,,(%!. ( ./ $%,,%*# $ -#!. ) 4 ,,(4 !/2+-' !/ %(. * +1!- #! ) ,. / 1!-%5+*2%-!(!.. +) 6 !-%5+* %-!(!..

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

58285-04.indd 1

7/14/08 1:58:56 PM

LA CITY BEAT & PASADENA WEEKLY Account Person Approval

$/07+ ;,4:, ,< '571 ' @ 212.905.7000

04

Closing Date: 07/11/08 INSERTION DATE:

07/17/08

VWNR-CWSC-58285 VERIZON WIRELESS 7/14 Alt. Weekly Promo

B: None T: 9.812� x 12.625� S: None

Account Super

Southern California

Art Director Copywriter C.D. Copy C.D. Art

OK

WC

Date

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

I

once asked a journalist friend, who had been chained inside the courtroom every single day of the O.J. Simpson trial, the obvious question. “Did he do it?” Or had the LAPD, instead, planted a boatload full of fake “evidence,” in an effort to frame the famous defendant? “How do you know,” she replied, “that it wasn’t both?” These days, working as a policy wonk on nuclear nonproliferation and disarmament, I am sometimes asked whether the danger of nuclear terror is “real” – or whether, instead, certain modern-day Machiavellis are manipulating our most nightmarish fears, to promote their own cynical political agendas. “How do you know,” I am inclined to reply, “that it isn’t both?” NUCLEAR TERROR – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?

D

uring the Cold War, it became commonplace to observe that “mutually assured destruction,” or MAD, was surely the most appropriate acronym in human history. But I have always preferred the label given to fun characters like me who study these things, “nuclear use theorists,” whom one can hardly resist acronyming as NUTS. The NUTS today usually identify four broad scenarios that can loosely be called “nuclear terror.” (This is the framework adopted, for example, by the excellent 2005 book The Four Faces of Nuclear Terrorism by Charles D. Ferguson and William C. Potter.) In one, perpetrators obtain – through theft, bribery, a paramilitary operation, pick your poison – an intact nuclear warhead. There are probably more than 25,000 worldwide. Then, they find a way to transport it to a “high-value target” (e.g., a large American city). Then, they find a way to set it off. The sudden and unexpected vaporization of a major American city, without any warning whatsoever, by your everyday gardenvariety nuclear warhead, would kill tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, possibly even more than a million. All in the blink of an eye, the snap of a finger, the single beat of a human heart. Many thousands more would die slow and agonizing deaths from radiation poisoning in the weeks that followed – and all our modern medical marvels will do little even to alleviate their suffering, let alone to save their lives. It could also plunge the planet into a worldwide depression. It could plunge the U.S. into martial law. It could plunge the nation into military responses – without evidence any state was behind the dastardly deed – that could take us from nuclear terror to nuclear war. In which case, the death and devastation would increase by a factor of 10. Or 100. Or more. (Khrushchev famously observed that after a nuclear exchange, “the survivors will envy the dead.”) In another scenario, perpetrators obtain – through similar methods – weapons-

usable plutonium or highly enriched uranium (HEU). (The latter is far more likely, since HEU is easier to handle, easier to procure, and easier to design a bomb around.) Then they manage to assemble it into a crude nuclear device, transport it to the target (unless they had actually built it in, oh, a warehouse in Culver City), and set it off. If successfully constructed with a large enough yield, such an act could have identical consequences. In another scenario, perpetrators attack or sabotage a nuclear power plant, causing not a nuclear explosion but a release of radioactivity. Such an act could kill thousands, and contaminate hundreds of square miles for many years to come. Finally, perpetrators obtain a bit of radioactive material, assemble a conventional explosive around it, and set it off in a concentrated urban area – discharging radioactivity in all directions. That’s the “dirty bomb” you have heard so much about. While such a bomb could kill hundreds, contaminate several square miles, and impose a widespread psychological shock, its consequences would be nothing like those of an actual nuclear explosion. Our focus today is on the first two scenarios. They are probably less likely than the last two scenarios. Nevertheless, they are enormously, almost inconceivably, more catastrophic. In a disturbing article in the November/December 2006 issue of Foreign Policy magazine, Peter D. Zimmerman and Jeffrey G. Lewis constructed a chillingly plausible nuclear terror scenario. Zimmerman and Lewis argued that such a project could be undertaken by as few as 19 terrorist operatives, including a few nuclear physicists, a few expert machinists, an experienced metallurgist, perhaps one or two ballistics specialists, and perhaps a couple of electrical engineers. This team, the authors claim, in the space of a year, for a cost of less than $5.5 million, could easily construct the kind of simple gunlike device that killed more than 100,000 people at Hiroshima. But only if, first, they had managed to procure the necessary HEU. Is that possible? Let’s ask Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency and winner of the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize. In a speech in Munich in February, he said that his agency tackles 150 cases of illicit nuclear trafficking every year. Some of the material reported stolen has never been recovered, he said, and “a lot of the material recovered has never been reported stolen.” Right next to Foreign Policy on the newsstands that same month, in the November/December 2006 issue of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, Nick Schwellenbach and Peter D.H. Stockton presented a terrifying new nuclear nightmare. Suicide terrorists might launch a lightning paramilitary operation on an American nuclear facility, barricade themselves inside, and quickly improvise a nuclear detonation right there. How? Unbelievably, simply by holding 100 pounds of HEU six feet above a similar mass, and letting go – giving disturbing

new meaning to the phrase “dropping the atom bomb.” Luis Alvarez, Nobel Laureate in Physics, said famously more than two decades ago, “With modern weaponsgrade uranium, terrorists, if they have such material, would have a good chance of setting off a high-yield explosion simply by dropping one half of the material onto the other half. Most people seem unaware that if separated U-235 is at hand, it’s a trivial job to set off a nuclear explosion.” But surely, the American nuclear laboratories must be among the most extraordinarily secured facilities anywhere on the planet! If there are any American assets that we can guarantee terrorists will never infiltrate, it must be these, right? Not according to the people responsible for testing such security. In 2004, a U.S. government team of mock terrorists breached the boundaries of Oak Ridge, and managed to “kill” the entire lab security force in 90 seconds. Similar episodes have apparently taken place at Los Alamos as well. Richard Levernier, who led several such mock attacks there, says, “In more than 50 percent of our tests ... we got in, captured the plutonium, got out again, and in some cases didn’t fire a shot because we didn’t encounter any guards.” That astonishing revelation suggests the “dropping the bomb” scenario needn’t take place in a nuclear lab. It could just as easily be done in that Culver City garage. OSAMA BIN LADEN: SCRATCHING A NUCLEAR ITCH

O

sama bin Laden’s thirst for the atom bomb dates back at least to 1992, when he reportedly tried to purchase nuclear materials in South Africa. Al Qaeda operatives have apparently sought intact nuclear warheads from both Chechen separatists and Pakistani scientists – the latter most alarmingly in a chilling meeting in Afghanistan just weeks prior to the attacks of September 11, 2001. American troops in Afghanistan discovered drawings of rudimentary nuclear devices in Al Qaeda sanctuaries. The 9/11 Commission concluded, “Al Qaeda has tried to acquire or make nuclear weapons for at least 10 years [...] and continues to pursue its strategic goal of obtaining a nuclear capability.” After his organization had murdered nearly 3,000 innocent souls on 9/11, Al Qaeda spokesman Sulaiman Abu Ghaith alleged that American policies, over the decades, had killed many more Muslims than that. He then drew what was for him a logical conclusion: “We have not yet reached parity with them. We have the right to kill four million Americans – two million of them children.” Al Qaeda, of course, has its share of internal dissensions and disagreements. Lawrence Wright, winner of the Pulitzer Prize for his masterful study The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda and the Road to 9/11, discussed some of them in the June 2 issue of The New Yorker. Wright described an ideological and theological civil war inside the worldwide terrorist organization.

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

He pointed to the transformation of longtime bin Laden colleague Sayyid Imam al-Sharif, known as “Dr. Fadl,” who – writing from an Egyptian prison – now conclusively rejects all Islamic justification for Al Qaeda’s terror attacks, and also insists that 9/11 itself was, on balance, “a catastrophe for Muslims.” However, it scarcely needs saying that complete internal unity and ideological unanimity are hardly essential to pulling off a successful nuclear terror attack on an American city. Zimmerman and Lewis say that no more than 19 individuals could pull it off! Few things could be more fatuous than to read the reports of investigative journalists like Wright and conclude that because some within the jihadist world have foresworn the terrorist road, no one else remains on the march. MAD WORLD

T

he United States has immense military capabilities, including thousands of nuclear weapons of unimaginable destructive power. Surely, our massive nuclear arsenal will cause bin Laden, and his acolytes or imitators, to rethink aspirations for nuclear mass murder, and to step back from the atomic abyss. Won’t it? Of course not. Because our nuclear weapons, and our nuclear doctrines, are all directed at the power of states. And Al Qaeda is not a state. Osama bin Laden does not control any territory. Terrorists are non-state actors. And our vast, bristling nuclear arsenal can do nothing, absolutely nothing, to deter a non-state actor. There are at least five fundamental reasons why this is so. First, if the terrorist does not control any territory, then there is no infrastructure, no capital city, no place to threaten to retaliate against. This is the crucial difference between Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. For all the current turmoil about the mere possibility that Iran might someday acquire a few nuclear weapons, it is inconceivable that Ahmadinejad could ever actually use one, without ensuring both personal and national suicide. But bin Laden does not face such a constraint. Mohamed ElBaradei, in his February 2008 speech in Munich, stated this as clearly as anyone. “This, to me, is the most danger we are facing today,” he said. “Because any country, even if they have nuclear weapons, would continue to have a rational approach. They know if they use a nuclear weapon, they will be pulverized. For an extremist group, there is no concept of deterrence. If they have it, they will use it.” Second, if the terrorists are not traditional “rational actors” wanting to preserve their own lives, then threatening them with nuclear obliteration is no discouragement at all. As we saw on 9/11, and in many horrific terrorist episodes since, many are quite willing to commit suicide to serve their odious aims. Third, if the terrorist does want to preserve his own life and we seek to deter him by threatening to kill him, we can do ➤

that in any conceivable circumstance with conventional weaponry alone. Fourth, we may not know where the perpetrators are. After all, we still cannot locate bin Laden nearly seven years after the horror of 9/11. Finally, we may not even know who the perpetrators are. Some terror attacks in recent years have been followed by no claims of responsibility at all. Imagine it’s the day after, the month after, the year after the sudden vanishing of an American city, and we never get any idea at all who did it. The U.S. Army didn’t protect us on 9/11. The U.S. Air Force didn’t protect us on 9/11. The U.S. Navy, with its 11 “aircraft carrier battle groups” (no other country has even one), didn’t protect us on 9/11. And the thing that protected us the least on 9/11 was our swollen atomic stockpile, our so-called “nuclear deterrent,” our arsenal of the apocalypse. More than 10,000 American nuclear warheads, of incomprehensible destructive force. And they failed utterly to deter 19 men armed with box cutters. Nor will they deter the nuclear terrorists. What are we going to do, threaten to fire a nuclear cruise missile through the balcony window of their $750-a-month bachelor apartment in suburban Las Vegas?

terror indicates that they are tough, smart, implacably dedicated, and in it for the long haul. (Recall the enormous flap when television host Bill Maher, immediately after 9/11, asserted that men who rationally chose to slam themselves into concrete buildings could hardly be called cowards.) That is not to say that a successful nuclear terror attack will be easy for aspiring nuclear terrorists to make happen. Many may try but fall short along

nuclear terror will likely be quite a bit more difficult to pull off than some (often with political motives) have argued. Levi argues that while the “lucky every time/ lucky once” framework is not untrue when considered over the course of many plots, each individual plot can be tackled from precisely the opposite perspective. The aspiring nuclear terrorists, he argues, have to succeed at every step of a complex and difficult process. The authorities, on the other hand, only need to nab them once.

the way. But if those who aspire to pull off the necessary sequence of events fail 999 times out of 1,000, but manage just a single time to obtain an atom bomb, or to build an atom bomb, and then to transport it into the heart of a large American city, we lose. “You have to be lucky every single time,” the Irish Republican Army used to say. “We have to be lucky just once.” So is there anything we can do to prevent the nightmare of nuclear terror? Indeed. There are answers in the short term, answers in the medium term, and answers – most importantly – in the long term. Because the only long-term solution to the threat of nuclear terror – and to all the other worrisome nuclear scenarios we can conjure – is the abolition of nuclear weapons.

Consequently, Levi advocates a systematic, interactive, many-layered strategy of prevention, one that integrates “controls over nuclear materials and weapons, military power, diplomacy, intelligence, covert action, law enforcement, border security, and consequence management,” all seeking to disrupt the aspiring nuclear terrorist at many potential chokepoints along the way. For all our worries about North Korea, Iran, and the several states that may eventually follow their lead, priority number one in the nuclear terror realm has to be Russia. Russia today has several thousand nuclear weapons, and hundreds of tons of nuclear material, at perhaps as many as 250 sites. “The actual amount of weapon-usable nuclear material in Russia,” says national security expert Joseph Cirincione, “may not even be known by the Russian government.” In 1997, retired Soviet General Alexander Lebed claimed that when the USSR unraveled at the end of 1991, Soviet authorities lost track of more than 100 nuclear weapons roughly the size of a suitcase. Lebed’s widely publicized claim has never been conclusively confirmed or refuted. But what he put forth was hardly an implausible scenario. The Nunn-Lugar Cooperative Threat Reduction Program, instituted almost

“MY CITY WAS GONE”

T

he Los Angeles office of Physicians for Social Responsibility (PSR, the American affiliate of my own organization, International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, winner of the 1985 Nobel Peace Prize) projected the results of an atomic warhead the size of the Hiroshima bomb – about 15 kilotons – detonating at noon on a weekday in downtown Los Angeles. They concluded that more than 117,000 people would perish instantly, more than 15,000 more would die within a few hours, and more than 96,000 after that would slowly wither away. Similarly, the RAND Corporation released a study in August 2006 calculating the effects of a 10-kiloton device exploding shortly after unloading onto a pier at the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, the busiest in the United States. They concluded that 60,000 people would die at once, 150,000 would be directly exposed to hazardous radiation, and 2 to 3 million would have to relocate immediately because their homes would be hopelessly contaminated. However, many of the city-busting hydrogen bombs produced during the protracted Cold War, and still in service today, are far more potent than 10 or 15 kilotons. Like 170 kilotons. Like the 550 kiloton warhead still quite common in the Russian arsenal. Like the B-83, America’s largest warhead today, at 1,200 kilotons (1.2 megatons). That’s about 100 times the explosive power of the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. You can raise those PSR and RAND casualty estimates accordingly. The aspiring nuclear terrorists are probably not in a hurry. Time is on their side. Everything we have learned since 9/11 about those in the inner circles of

SHORT TERM FIXES

I

n the short term, we must do everything possible to ensure that no nuclear warheads or materials find their way into the clutches of Al Qaeda or anyone else with similar mass murder ambitions. Michael Levi’s important 2007 book On Nuclear Terrorism provides grounds for optimism. The physicist argues that

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

immediately after the December 1991 dissolution of the USSR to help secure the late Soviet Union’s enormous nuclear arsenal, has done much to diminish these dangers. So too has the more recent U.S. Global Threat Reduction Initiative, a program established in 2004 to secure dangerous materials of Soviet or other origin which found their way into civilian nuclear programs of other countries. And the Global Initiative to Combat Nuclear Terrorism, which George Bush and Vladimir Putin unveiled together at the G-8 summit in St. Petersburg in July 2006, is another promising step. But the pace of all of them has been slow, much remains to be done, and it is difficult to understand why anything should be considered a better investment in national security than programs like these. Russia is not the only country where we have to worry about loose nuclear weapons and materials. The long history of transfers of nuclear technology and knowledge by the now infamous A.Q. Khan network certainly suggests that Pakistan, or particular Pakistani individuals, could serve as a source for aspiring nuclear terrorists. The martial law declared by President Pervez Musharraf in late 2007, followed soon thereafter by the assassination of former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and subsequent electoral setbacks for Musharraf, set off a flurry of commentaries about the worrisome nuclear chaos inside Pakistan that – still – might ensue. Of course, enhancing port and border safeguards in the United States must remain a perpetually high priority. The Bush administration, commendably, has made considerable progress in this regard since September 11, 2001. Before 9/11, not a single container crossing our border was screened for radioactivity. Today, more than 80 percent are. Still, the sheer volume of global commerce makes this job almost impossibly big. To find smuggled nuclear materials in the vast sea of consumer goods shipped by container around the world is to seek the proverbial needle in a haystack. An article in the October 2006 issue of Risk Analysis magazine reported the results of a rigorous statistical evaluation of U.S. container screening capabilities, and concluded, “The likelihood that the current screening system would detect a shielded nuclear weapon is quite low (around 10 percent).” So it is beyond naive to imagine that these kinds of short-term steps, no matter how elaborate, can forestall the fateful day forever. Strict controls over all things nuclear may well save us in the short term. But in the medium term, we need to reduce not just the availability of nuclear weapons and materials, but also the motivations for nuclear terror. MEDIUM RANGE BALLISTIC MISSIONS

W

estern leaders would do well to recall that the very first word in the very first work of Western literature, Homer’s Iliad, is menis. Anger. Wrath. Rage. During the Vietnam War, it was often said that every time we killed a Viet Cong ➤

LA CITYBEAT DOT COM

WE’RE ALWAYS ON

Saturday, August 2, 2008 • San Diego, CA MOBPBKQBA ?V

NXNP MUSIC CONFERENCE

%KK (@X 1TRHB ;NQJRGNOR @S SGD 0@E@XDSSD ,NSDK % X T BK N J NO R K 1 QS ; R H E@X R ( GD S N D D@G @ S , K S

/DXMNSD 7OD@JDQ .DQQX ,DKKDQ

.DQQX )@RX )

')3 7SQDDS 0HED 6DBNQCR *NQLDQ 1@M@FDQ NE 2;%

NXNP MUSIC FESTIVAL 100 BANDS - 15 VENUES - ONE NIGHT ONE COST FOR ALL! 6F@HBQP 1K 5>IB >Q

VVV 2NQSG&X2NQSG4@QJ BNL V N X N2 @ J Q V NL

4QNBDDCR SN &DMDEHS SGD 7@M (HDFN 1TRHB *NTMC@SHNM

1000 Universal Center Dr. Universal City (818) 755-9970 www.howlatthemoon.com/hollywood_tonight.html ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Q2

guerrilla, we created two more. Isaac Newton’s laws of action and reaction do not apply only to billiard balls. The Bush administration has consistently rejected any suggestion that we consider what might motivate impressionable young Muslim men to show up on Al Qaeda’s doorstep. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan blithely dismissed the “truce” that Osama bin Laden floated on January 19, 2006, indicating that President Bush had given it not a nanosecond’s consideration. “We do not negotiate with terrorists,” he said. “We put them out of business.” But can’t we be more in the international arena than a hammer looking for nails? Do Americans have even a clue about the depth of the bitterness, the scale of the humiliations, the extent of the resentments simmering around the planet toward us? George Bush’s foreign policies have made us new foreign enemies. George Bush’s defense policies have weakened our defenses. George Bush’s responses to 9/11 have made future 9/11’s – possibly far worse than the original 9/11 – far more likely to occur. So much for Republicans being “strong on defense.” There are undoubtedly hard-core terror types out there who are determined to attack us no matter what. Obviously, we must do everything we can to prevent them from acting, and to make sure that we get them before they get us. But thousands more out there are still thinking about it. Thousands of young Muslim men are on the fence. They have perhaps spent their childhoods in madrasa Islamic religious schools. Their families have lived in poverty for as long as anyone can remember. They are unemployed and idle. They are looking for some purpose in life, some meaning, perhaps even some cause worth dying for. The next president must do more than simply threaten these potential perpetrators, if we want to dissuade them from marching down the dead end terrorist road. Perhaps we could talk in a serious way about global economic inequality, about the cultural humiliations arguably at the root of the so-called “clash of civilizations.” We might actually seek to dry up some of the swamps of hopelessness, exploitation, and despair around the world. We might offer the dispossessed some rewards for the better choice, some hope and opportunity, some promise of full participation in a prosperous and peaceful global civilization. We might act on the world stage with a little less hubris and a little more humility. We might recall the admonition of Abraham Lincoln as our Civil War wound to its bitter close, when he said, “The only lasting way to eliminate an enemy is to make him your friend.” And he was a Republican. But even these kinds of steps, important though they are, are unlikely to save us indefinitely from the nightmare of nuclear terror. We need to do more than prevent the bad guys from gaining access to nuclear devices in the short term. We need to do more too than reduce the motivations for seeking access to nuclear devices in the medium term. In the long term, our only real hope for saving ourselves from the nightmare of nuclear

terror is to get rid of the nuclear weapons themselves. Every last one. THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

S

ome call it “America’s nuclear hypocrisy,” others the “nuclear double standard,” others still “nuclear narcissism.” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad often calls it “nuclear apartheid.” Why is it that some countries can possess thousands of nuclear weapons without a whisper of comment, while when others aspire to even one, it generates a torrent of righteous indignation? What’s the principle? What’s the argument? It is never said. And it cannot last. The Reverend William Sloane Coffin, one of the great peace activists of the 20th century, who died in 2006, liked to quote Mahatma Gandhi, who said, “A fat man cannot speak persuasively to a skinny man about the virtues of not overeating.” To much of the rest of the world, the nuclear double standard appears sanctimonious and selfrighteous, and based on the notion that some are responsible enough to be “trusted” with these weapons of the apocalypse, while others are not. President Bush himself, perhaps unwittingly, often manages to let slip this conceit of cultural superiority. “We owe it to our children,” he said in August of 2002, “to free the world from weapons of mass destruction in the hands of those who hate freedom.” “We cannot allow the world’s most dangerous men,” he insisted at the end of 2005, “to get their hands on the world’s most dangerous weapons.” Here, surely, we have the most candid, unvarnished answer to the $64,000 nuclear question. Some are rational, sober, righteous ... and hence can be trusted with the nuclear prize. Others are simply too “dangerous,” or not sufficiently “freedom loving,” to be permitted the same. And who will decide? Who will render subjective, ad hoc, case-by-case verdicts on whether certain leaders or peoples can be trusted with nuclear weapons? Who will serve as prosecutor, judge, jury, and enforcer? Why the Freedom Lovers, of course, in whose hands nuclear weapons already reside. The nuclear double standard is militarily unnecessary, morally indefensible, and politically unsustainable. Try to imagine the human community in 2018, or 2045, or 2077, with the same small group of “great powers” still clinging to the nuclear chimera, still insisting that nuclear weapons are vital for their own national security but unnecessary for the national security of others. Then try to

imagine all the other states in the world just placidly and permanently acquiescing to that – no bitterness, no resentment, no aspirations to challenge the nuclear status quo and obtain a few nuclear weapons of their own. The mere act of performing such a thought experiment demonstrates the wild improbability that such a future history might ever come to pass. If we refuse forever to relinquish our nuclear weapons, then we had better get used to a world not with nine nuclear weapon states, as today, but 18, or 45, or 77. That world will provide that many more opportunities for just one really bad nuclear warhead to find its way into the hands of just one group of really bad guys. And what will that mean for us, for Los Angeles? It will mean we will simply have to await our fate, our date with our nuclear terror destiny. A comprehensive nuclear policy agenda, one fully integrating nonproliferation with disarmament, should become the most important immediate foreign policy priority for the new president who takes office on January 20, 2009. Such a policy agenda should contain many of the kinds of short- and mediumterm steps described above to diminish the danger of nuclear terror. But that nuclear policy agenda should also state, unambiguously, that we are committed to the ultimate elimination of nuclear weapons – ours and everyone else’s. It must describe abolition not as some utopian fantasy, but instead as a concrete political goal. And it should begin to discern the path, and commence negotiations, toward a universal, verifiable, and enforceable Nuclear Weapons Convention requiring the phased dismantling and destruction of every nuclear weapon on Planet Earth, imposing strict worldwide controls with rigorous international inspection provisions over all things nuclear, and legally prohibiting nuclear weapons from ever being constructed again. Our best shot at dodging the nuclear terror bullet forever is to get serious, now, about moving toward a nuclear-weaponfree world. AN INCONVENIENT CHOICE

O

n January 15, 2008, four lions of the American foreign policy establishment – Sam Nunn, William Perry, George Shultz, and Henry Kissinger – authored a landmark opinion piece in The Wall Street Journal, calling not just for greater attention to the nuclear peril, but also for “turning the goal of a world without nuclear weapons

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

into a practical enterprise among nations.” This call to action from such mainstream figures, has, by all accounts, transformed the nuclear policy debate, and in a stroke expanded the parameters of political possibility. “The goal of a world free of nuclear weapons is like the top of a very tall mountain,” said the authors. “From the vantage point of our troubled world today, we can’t even see the top of the mountain, and it is tempting and easy to say we can’t get there from here.” Yet not only has the top of that mountain been painted in fine detail, but so too has the path we might take to march upward toward the summit. In 2007, a broad coalition of scientists, international lawyers, disarmament experts, and anti-nuclear organizations issued Securing Our Survival: The Case for a Nuclear Weapons Convention (available at www.ippnw.org). This extraordinary document contains an actual draft of a model nuclear weapons abolition treaty, with extensive commentary on both the components therein and on alternative processes by which it might come into being. It provides perhaps the best description yet both of what a nuclearweapon-free world might actually look like, and how we might actually get from here to there. The American government can choose to go down something like the path advocated here. If it does not, the American people will probably simply have to await their fate. Walt Kelly’s Pogo, in another context, said famously, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” Today, in this context, we might say that we have met the victims of the device that we ourselves unleashed upon the world. And they are us. We are the ones who devised these weapons in the past. We are the ones contemplating the use of these weapons in the present (several credible news reports have revealed that war planners in the bowels of the Pentagon have considered not just a preemptive military strike on Iran, but a preemptive nuclear strike). We are the ones who vaingloriously insist that we – but not others – must perpetually possess these weapons indefinitely into the future. And now, in what must surely be one of the greatest ironies in all of human history, we are the ones who may soon feel the menis of our own invention. We are the ones who may turn out to be the authors of our own annihilation. We can get it through our thick skulls that the only long-term solution to the threat of nuclear apocalypse is the abolition of nuclear weapons. If we do not, we may well be the ones, in the end, who are devoured by our own creation.✶ Tad Daley, www.daleyplanet.org, is Writing Fellow with the Nobel Peace Laureate organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, www.ippnw.org, and its International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons, www.icanw.org. He served in the past as a foreign policy advisor to Congressman Dennis Kucinich, Congresswoman Diane Watson, and the late U.S. Senator Alan Cranston. He lives and works in Los Angeles and finds the city terribly annoying at times, but on balance would like to keep it around.

C@M@E>

9@K<J

<8K

READY, AIM, FIRE

Shiro aims at perfect execution

PHOTO BY ROSHEILA ROBLES

BY RICHARD FOSS

I

once attended a martial arts demonstration where a wiry little street fighter took on a succession of people several times his size while a catchy tune called “It Ain’t What You Do, It’s the Way That You Do Itâ€? played in the background. As a result, I can’t hear that song without remembering grunts, impacts, and the sound of someone unfortunate landing next to the practice mat instead of on it. It hasn’t exactly ruined the tune for me, but it has added a context that most people don’t have. If I didn’t conjure violence when I hear that tune, it might have been the perfect thing to remind me of Restaurant Shiro. This sister establishment to the Westside’s Sawtelle Kitchen (reviewed in these pages last year) has a deceptively simple menu, seven starters and seven entrĂŠes of Asian-influenced California cuisine. When your reputation rests on a selection that narrow, of cuisine that is modern but not exactly startling, you have to execute it exceptionally well. This is what chef Hideo Yamashiro’s reputation rests on – not doing many things, but doing those perfectly. We started with Chinese shrimp dumplings in shiitake mushroom sauce ($9.50), which is not only simple in concept, but very ordinary in appearance. Ravioli in mushroom sauce, ho-hum. Except that this was no ordinary sauce, but a concoction that was simultaneously fresh-tasting and earthy, bringing out woodsy, musky overtones that enhanced

the light seafood mousse. It wasn’t daring or exotic, just excellent. We continued with the only starter that was conceptually challenging: Hudson Valley foie gras in a black bean wasabi sauce ($19.75). I’ve tried all sorts of foie preparations, many of which involve some berryish flavor to counterpoint the meaty richness, but wasabi was a new idea and a good one – the sweet black bean sauce had a light, sharp horseradish overtone that finished each bite. It was calibrated perfectly, layer upon layer of flavor, and proved that Shiro can execute a daring combination when they feel like it. So it is a bit odd that the restaurant’s signature is something you can get at almost any Chinese or Vietnamese restaurant: whole roasted catfish ($33). True, the average Asian restaurant doesn’t deliver it to your table at quite this perfection of crisp exterior unless they’ve overcooked it so the interior is dry – Shiro has cooking time calibrated down to the second. Unfortunately, the only size offered is freakin’ huge, far more than enough for one person – this would be perfect as a main course paired with a few starters. We had ordered it for one person alongside an entrÊe of Berkshire pork medallions in green peppercorn sauce ($28.50). The pork had been roasted in a crust that was slightly caramelized at the edges and was astonishingly tender, the peppercorn sauce moderated with a little cream so it was subtle and layered – you tasted the spiciness of the pepper, not just

the sharpness and heat. The accompanying zucchini, carrots, and potatoes au gratin were done simply and traditionally, the vegetables’ natural flavors providing a greater contrast to the art of the peppered pork. The flavor dynamic of the dish would be familiar to any Midwestern home cook – pork, pepper-stock sauce, and simply done vegetables – but this isn’t Mom’s home cooking unless Mom had an almost supernatural instinct about timing and subtlety. We had brought our own wine to dinner because my companion wanted to show off something from her cellar, but I took a look at their list out of curiosity. It mirrored the food menu – reliable bottles, a short but sound by-the-glass list. I had a glass of a decent Rioja with the pork, good enough to enjoy but not so noteworthy that I wrote down the name in case I saw it again. We were offered dessert and coffee, but declined – I had eaten so much catfish that I had little appetite for anything but a walk around Pasadena to shake down dinner. It was a meal worthy of contemplation and conversation, and we chatted as the evening went on about what worked and why. For the most part, it came down to the song – it ain’t what they do, but the way that they do it, and that’s what Shiro is all about. âœś Restaurant Shiro, 1505 Mission St., South Pasadena, (626) 799-4774. Open Wed.-Sun., dinner only. Parking lot in rear, wheelchair access good, full bar.

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Merci Merci Me‌ It takes a brave chef to invite a group of people who are passionate about authentic French food to dinner. The Club Culinaire of French Cuisine is exactly such a crowd, and they have a particularly interesting duo of events coming up. One, as you would expect, is French – a grand “Chef Ă Tableâ€? dinner at Grace hosted by chef Neal Fraser on August 18. After a reception featuring Veuve Clicquot Champagne, five courses with wine will be served, at a cost of $115. Their other upcoming event is slightly sooner and rather more eclectic, and much more affordable: a three-course Moroccan bistro diner July 21 at Koutoubia, hosted by chef Michael Ohayon. At $35 for members, $45 for non-members, it’s quite a deal, a chance to sample some fine food and the companionship of a group of people who truly appreciate it. I’m guessing that you might want to either brush up on your French or not try to speak it at all, since rusty high school French would be an assault on Gallic ears. The website where you can reserve for both evenings is in English, thank goodness – it’s at clubculinaire.org ... . Perceptive Pairings ‌ You can pair wine with Indian cuisine, though it takes a bit more art and consideration than matching milder European foods. For a lesson from masters, go to Akbar in Santa Monica July 22, when the winemakers from Kosta Brown will show you how items like tandoori salmon and scallops balchoa can be enhanced by California Viognier and Pinot Noir. For more info and the full menu, call (310) 586-7469 ‌ . Independent Study ... Most of us learn about wine the way we learn about sex – by trial and error, from people whose tastes may be different and who may know less than we do. In the case of sex, it’s probably safest to avoid pros, but with wine there are benefits to studying under an expert. The people at Learn About Wine are happy to consult, and have scheduled a series of classes to train you to evaluate and appreciate wines like a master. You have to taste 100 wines, complete a midterm, and pass your BAR exam (that’s Beverage Aptitude Review, and doesn’t entitle you to practice law). The classes are for serious wine aficionados and professionals, and will be taught on four sessions on Sundays in August – check learnaboutwine.com and click “eventsâ€? for details ‌ . –Richard Foss We accept tips: RichardFoss@earthlink.net.

4 4 4 4 4 4 4

4 4 0%-$4*.+ $ ,"4)#4 (14"(-+2"4 4!+%(& 434 %("4 (4 ('1

4 4 4 +" 4 /" 434

981

Since 1

Indian Restaurant

Mention This Ad for 15% OFF Dine in Dinner 5-10

Low Fat & Sugar

PM

Buffet Lunch Mon-Fri 11-2:30PM

All You Can Eat $8.95

838 Grand Ave. Downtown L.A.

Creamy Taste

Free Delivery in Downtown

$1 OFF

with this ad

FREE Gelato

$1 Off

with this coupon Buy 1 Med. or Large Gelato Get 1 smaller size Gelato FREE

with this coupon Fantasia's New Gelato Hot Chocolate Float or Gelato Coffee Float

limit one per customer, not valid with any other offer

limit one per customer, not valid with any other offer

BUY 2 Get 1 FREE

with this coupon Buy 2 same size, Gelato Cups or cones, Get 1 same size Gelato FREE

limit one per customer, not valid with any other offer

PREMIUM HOMEMADE GELATO MADE FRESH DAILY 10422 National Blvd., Los Angeles

640 North Spring St. Downtown L.A.

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

GAY WEDDINGS

C@M@E>

J?FGG@E<JJ

% # #

SEMPER BUY

% ! $ &

BY KIM LACHANCE

Y

our typical Army/Navy store is a fiercely independent hole in the wall, a dilapidated warehouse for orphaned GI junk. And that’s how we (big, fat) red-blooded Americans like ’em! But with our boys (and girls) sucking up back-to-back deployments in The War on Peace, Uncle Sam has nary an MIL-scrap to spare. That’s why trusty surplus depots like Union War Surplus in San Pedro, which have thrived on genuine government-issue goods since ’46, are resorting to foreignmade (Axis of Weebles China, India, and Mexico!) imitation “American� uniforms and skull-plastered skaterwear to avoid becoming surplus themselves. After serving in WWII, “Cheerful� Al Kaye opened up shop at the bottom of 6th Street with fellow decorated vets – his brother and two cousins. Their customer pledge from day one: “From a battleship to a hunting knife, we have it or we will get it.� (“I can probably get my hands on a plastic battleship if you really need one,� soft-spoken, tat-sleeved manager Jeff Daquila shrugs.) That was 62 years, 11 presidents, and seven U.S.-involved military conflicts and wars ago – or at least the ones on the official rolls. Still, other than the source of the merchandise, not much has changed since. Back in the late ’40s and early ’50s, at the tail end of Terminal Island’s Cannery Street and San Pedro Bay’s commercial fishing heyday, Union supplied waterresistant overalls, gloves, and boots to the mainly Croatian, Japanese and Sicilian fishermen and factory workers of “Fish Island.� (Remember Star-Kist’s pitiful Charlie the Tuna? Well, sorry, Charlie. The bereted fish-outta-water sold his sole, along with a thick, sentimental chapter of local history, to a South Korean corporate whale last month.) After the L.A. Riots in ’92 and the hysterically hysterical Y2K sham, the panicked masses salivating to flex their Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms looked to Union’s modest gun counter to git their gats (giznatch, if you roll like that – and you know you do). Then came 9/11, and anthrax-fearing morons flooded the joint in search of triple-thick rubberized gas masks, Devo radiation suits, and a lifetime supply of delicious emergency M.R.E.s (Meals Ready to Eat). But maybe the paranoid shoppers who on 1.1.01 managed not to plummet from the friendly skies or get micro-cut to death by their possessed automatic can openers, didn’t waste their money after all; they would do well to

hang onto their survival gear in the name of earthquake preparedness. As long as 102* earthquakes continue to burp across California each and every day, you never know when that 55-gallon water drum, hand-crank radio, or gazillion-piece OSHA industrial first-aid kit will come in handy. Nostalgic vets, militaria collectors, active and retired cops, longshoremen, and Dickies-clad punks aren’t the only regulars trolling Union for deals and treasures. It’s also a favorite with Hollywood set designers. The famous binoculars Jack Nicholson’s Chinatown character Jake Gittes used to spy on Hollis Mulwray across a dusty L.A. riverbed were either purchased or borrowed from here, Daquila says. Either way, I don’t think Jack’s giving them back. Longshoremen from the Ports of Long Beach and Los Angeles still flock here for protective gear, only now it’s expensively Thinsulate-, Gore-tex, and Nomex-padded, electric-shock-proof, sweat-wickingnifty, and, uh, conveniently equipped to grow back severed limbs and slash worker’s comps claims. Lucky for Local 13, the wide selection of steeltoed work boots are (mostly) bona fide Made in the USA, and not a bad deal for ILWU members. They can nab a pair of practically plutonium-proof, PMA-approved Wolverine or CAT brand shit-kickers, complete with Kaye’s exclusive 25 percent discount – the steepest boot allowance price cut this side of the Vincent Thomas. In all, Union War Surplus is exactly the rusty wartime capsule you’d expect: worn wooden floors, sun-bleached ’70s and ’80s product posters tacked on cobwebbed walls, and cramped would-be aisles bulging with all threads camo, canvas and denim. The staff is friendly, whip-smart and above-and-beyond accommodating. It’s worth the trek down the 110 for the chance to wax patriotic, without actually risking your neck, in salute of the Purple Heart of San Pedro’s first shopping district. And watch your mouth while you’re there: Union’s customer complaint department consists of a single hand grenade mounted on a plaque that says, “Please Take a Number.â€? I dare you. The body bags are only 40 bucks.âœś *Thanks to the talented seismic geeks at UC Berkeley for that disconcerting stat. I so did not need to know that. Union War Surplus, 355 W. 6th St., San Pedro, (310) 833-2949. www.unionwarsurplus.com.

% "

Located on Miracle Mile, at the corner of Wilshire Blvd & La Brea Ave.

IM AGE C OU RT E SY M EAT S M EI ER

C O M E EXPERIENCE the world’s best animation and visual effects in full-length features, shorts, art, science, television, advertising, and games. Five giant days of screenings. Four days of production sessions led by the hottest creative talent from the biggest and best studios. Behind-the-scenes panels with creators of “Speed Racer,� “Wall-E,� “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa,� and “Iron Man.� Three nights of all-star studio events. I N F O R M AT I O N & PA S S E S

W W W. S I G G R A P H . O R G / S 2 0 0 8

Computer A Animation F Festival

11-15 August 2008 Nokia Theatre LA Live

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

r

at

THE PREMIER COMPUTER GRAPHICS ANIMATION FESTIVAL

n

GJP:?F JL;FBL

C@M@E>

:FDD@< >@IC

STATE OF THE STATE

Sum Sudoku

BY REBECCA SCHOENKOPF

Put one digit from 1-9 in each square of this Sudoku so that the following three conditions are met: 1) each row, column, and 3x3 box (as marked by shading in the grid) contains the digits 1ñ9 exactly one time; 2) no digit is repeated within any of the areas marked off by heavy black lines; and 3) the sums of the digits in each area marked off by heavy black lines total the little number given in each of those areas. For example, the digits in the upper-leftmost square in the grid and the square directly beneath it will add up to 7. Now do what I tell you -- solve!! psychosudoku@hotmail.com

Find last week’s Psycho Sudoku answers on page 42

AFE<J@EË :IFJJNFI; “Bye, George”--items from the late George Carlin’s “Things to Watch Out For.” by Matt Jones

Across 1 Type of computer room, in some schools 7 Viet ___ 11 A/C measurement 14 Commotion 15 Open a little 16 Make a misstep 17 Bounce back again, like a sound 18 Collette or Braxton 19 Nothing 20 Frontier guns 22 554, in Roman numerals 24 “Famous” cookie guy 26 Pipe with a 90-degree angle 27 “Miss Match” TV actress Silverstone 29 Desire bigtime 30 Never, in German 31 Sea between Italy and Greece 32 Reign 33 Some kitchen ranges 34 Coke alternative 35 Unable to walk the walk 37 Prison name chanted in “Dog Day Afternoon” 41 Hogan’s “American Gladiators” co-host 42 I can come after these 46 Main point

47 Game pieces 48 Romance novelist Roberts 49 Answers, as questions 50 Prefix with “fix” (!) 51 “South Park” co-creator Parker 52 Practice punching 53 Tone up 55 Homer Simpson’s dad 56 Scored perfectly 58 Peter who voiced Anton Ego in “Ratatouille” 61 Load of crap 62 Actress Skye 63 “___ daisy!” 64 3-pointers: abbr. 65 Jersey squad 66 Tree nymphs, in Greek mythology Down 1 Wall: Fr. 2 Kong, for one 3 City where Stradivarius made violins 4 Insects in a biblical plague* 5 Massage parlor noises 6 It’s walked on, in an Annie Lennox song* 7 Herd mayhem* 8 Eduardo’s eyes 9 Bread with tandoori chicken 10 Traffic snarl* 11 Actor Del Toro of “The Usual Suspects” 12 Inconsequential

13 Address that includes http 21 Architect Saarinen 23 Pete and Julie’s cohort on “The Mod Squad” 24 Jaw-dropping feeling 25 Blot 27 It’s eaten up, so to speak* 28 Santa ___ winds 35 Corrosive stuff from the sky* 36 Warning notice 37 Waco org. 38 “As far across as my hands are apart” 39 Plain houses? 40 ___ Mujeres, Mexico 42 Scientific tendency toward chaos* 43 Taiwan, once 44 SAT for big kids 45 Farm bale 53 Chap 54 “Like ___ not...” 55 Cat-eating creature 57 Country singer David Allan ___ 59 Yogurt topper 60 Suffix after employ ©2008 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0371.

Find last week’s Jonesin’ Crossword answers on page 42

T

he state of our state is strong. It is even – dare I? I dare! – a Golden Dream by the Sea. (Please to intone this in your best shrill, nasal Maria Shriver skeletor voice, as she is to be the next governor of this lucky state. I am informed by people who know these things that the only person who beats Jerry Brown in match-up polling is she – like, creams him, by a lot – and not, say, my boyfriend, Gavin Newsom, or apparently everyone’s boyfriend, Antonio Villaraigosa.) I was on my way to San Francisco to attend to some business – at City Lights, not City Hall – while trying to teach by example the state’s yokels to drive the 5. (Is it permissible to drive in the left lane except to pass? No! How about if you’re doing a cool 85? Trick question! Still no! You swoop in and out of the right lane, passing people and then getting to the right, and then passing people again. Meanwhile, people will keep pace with your 90-plus from way far back in the fast lane, where they have determined they’re the arbiters of speed even though they have yet to pass you while a convoy stacks up behind them, and even while they see how easy – and fun! – it is to keep touching down in the slow lane. Because people are cocks.) Even the most hideous stretches of the 5 were beautiful to me this weekend; I kept just seeing golden, rolling hills, and barely even smelled Cowschwitz, just north of Coalinga. My fine mood might have been because my book publisher was paying for the gas, but I think instead it was my constant companion: a 14-year-old high school freshman, brown and strong and healthy and sweet. I was up for a job in Boston last year, and I’d determined I’d change his name in my column from “Buttercup,” which I figured would get his ass kicked for sure, to something tuffer. Something like Tuffy. With an ‘i.’ With a heart over it. I’m informed now that, in some parts, “tuffy” is slang for “an erection.” I think this is hilarious, because apparently I am nine years old. On our last proper vacation, we spent a week on the Big Island, part of it in a resort with only old people and couples with tiny children, and so was I ready to take my life. At dinner one night, I informed my son that if one more person asked perkily how my day had been, I

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

would tell them I was going to kill myself, so of course everyone stopped asking. A good 45 minutes went by before I had my chance. “Oh, it’s our tablemates from last night!” a delightful old couple exclaimed. “And how is your day going?” “I’m going to kill myself!” I happily told them. The old man paused in consternation. But then he righted his world and went on his way: “Well, you’ve got the perfect little companion there!” he said. And he was right. I did. I’ve had a bad habit lately of getting sort of deathly ill when I take road trips without my son, having to pull off the road in places like Dubuque, where I am sure they think I’m dopesick when I ashenly, shakenly, ask for a room at the Motel 6. I think maybe I get a little carsick, a little dehydrated, and then the thought of being all alone in Davenport or whatever, Iowa, who cares, far away from the tender care of anyone, makes me panic just a tiny and brings the whole thing to a roiling, vomiting, Paxil-needing head. I never get ill when my son and I drive together. I just listen to Looking Glass on dubtape (their albums seem to all be out of print) with their songs about drunk railroad men and their fine, Rick Dankoish piano, and watch the hills and do my little 90 mph toe-touch in the right lane before swooping back around to the left. My son puts his foot down against another spin of Prenup, to whom he’s been forced to listen on a loop for going on a solid three weeks, and so I humbly comply. He is the ultimate in easygoing; the only other time on our manifold road trips he’s insisted on anything was when I wanted to stay in a $30-a-night joint on the outskirts of Santa Fe that was surely infested with scabies, all because it had cool insets of the Virgin Mary in the walls. He would not back down from the $100-a-night fanciness with spotless white chenille and a patio right in the center of that pretty little downtown, and he was absolutely right. I keep the Prenup off the CD player until he’s fallen asleep to the Police’s “Miss Gradenko” – your uniform don’t seem to fit; you’re much too alive in it – and then I sneak the Prenup back in for my fix. He is asleep for hours. There is news in the world, but I don’t listen and I don’t care. The world is as still as it can be when you’re doing 90 on the 5.✶

C@M@E>

=I<< N@CC 8JKIFCF>P

Week of July 17 ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

After studying your astrological omens for the upcoming weeks, I got really excited. There was so much I wanted to tell you. I popped a chunk of organic, fair-trade, cruelty-free, espresso-tinctured chocolate in my mouth and sat down to type an extravagant message. Maybe it was because I was overly pumped up, but in the next moment I accidentally swallowed the candy whole. What a waste! I’d gotten none of the bliss of sliding it around my tongue and mouth. But I recognized this apparent bad luck as a sign of what I needed to tell you: Don’t get so worked up about the oncoming pleasures that you engorge them whole without even tasting them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In his book In My Other Life, Paul Theroux imagines another version of himself -- the “story of a life I could have lived had things been different.� I think you’d benefit from carrying out a similar exercise, Taurus. Daydream about the inner potentials you’ve never developed, the inviting destinations you’ve never actually sought out, the initial interests that never grew into fullfledged relationships -- and then fantasize that you are in fact doing those things. Aside from being fun, this experiment could lead you to actually try out some possibilities that maybe you should have considered long ago. And it might at least free up energy that has been trapped inside feelings of remorse.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Kate Knapp Johnson’s poem “Meadow� begins like this: “Half the day lost, staring/ at this window. I wanted to know/ just one true thing// about the soul.� She goes on to imply that she wasn’t successful in her meditation. You, on the other hand, will enjoy a boom time if you go in quest of such insight. By next week, you could discover at least five true things about the soul. Here’s one possible truth now: The soul needs nourishing stories in the same way the body needs healthy food.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

I really do feel that you’re here with me as I create these horoscopes. In a sense, you’re my assistant. Our telepathic connection is utterly palpable and practical. The hopes and questions you project my way stream into my higher mind, coloring my psychic environment and enriching my desire to give you exactly

what you need. Now, in accordance with the astrological omens, I’m asking you to give our collaboration more conscious intention. It’s time for you to be aggressive about seeking help and inspiration -- not just from me, but from everyone. Try this for starters: Once a day for five minutes, visualize that you and I are sitting face-to-face and discussing the issues that feed your longing to be brave and free and authentic and smart and loving and creative.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free,� said the sculptor Michelangelo about a statue he made. Let that approach be your guide in the coming weeks, Leo. Proceed according to the hypothesis that the beautiful thing you want to create is embedded in stuff that’s hiding its true nature, and your job is simply to liberate it from what’s extraneous.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“Dear Rob ‘Fat-Burner’ Brezsny: I used the Sweet and Sassy Toner video and lost only two pounds in five weeks. I tried the No More Love Handles program and actually gained weight. The only thing that really worked was your column. Reading your horoscopes has, I’m convinced, been responsible for bringing me much closer to having my dream body. You’ve helped me jettison a ton of psychic fat, not to mention a wad of guilt, a load of concern about what other people think of me, and a mass of remorse about the past. I never realized how much of my extra weight had to do with psychological burdens I was carrying. This is the lightest I’ve ever been! Grateful Virgo.� Dear Grateful: Give yourself credit, too. It has been courageous of you to get rid of your unnecessary buffers. By the way, this week will be the climax of the shedding process. Celebrate your success by emptying out even more.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Barack Obama may not be the messiah, but in comparison to the person he will replace as President of the United States next January, he’s the second coming of King Arthur. Still, it’s crucial to keep in mind that Obama can’t single-handedly and magically heal all the havoc inflicted on America and the world by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The resuscitation will have to be accomplished primarily by we-the-people, and as much on the local level as in the federal realm. In the same way, Libra, fixing the problems that are vexing your personal sphere must be the task of the whole group, not just the boss or leader. I suggest

Ask About our

$

59 VIDEO PACKAGE

about something in yourself. 2. Watch your tendency to get fixated on an image that is at best a distorted representation of a real thing and not the real thing itself. 3. Don’t hurt yourself or drive yourself crazy in an effort to chase away an illusion.

you work on convincing everyone to take more responsibility and be more accountable. It’s time to apply the principles of grassroots democracy to your own life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In ancient Egypt, wealthy people adorned their pet crocodiles with gold bracelets, amulets, and other jewelry. Let’s use that as a metaphor for you in the coming week. What is the most beastly and dangerous part of your psyche, and how might you beautify it? What steps could you take to civilize or ennoble your reptilian brain? Are there any ways you could make the crocodilian aspect of yourself look less scary and more inviting?

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

It’s like you’ve stumbled upon the Cosmic Lost and Found Office, Sagittarius. Whether or not it happened “by mistake� is irrelevant: It’s an opportunity to recover good stuff that prematurely disappeared from your life. But keep in mind that your valuables may be mixed in with abandoned and forgotten junk, both yours and other people’s. You might initially feel discouraged at the prospect of having to wade through all that meaningless dross in order to locate your treasures. Don’t give up. Your diligence will ultimately be rewarded.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Here’s my first question: Are you willing to change yourself in ways that would allow you to get more of the love you long for? Here’s my second question: If you are willing to change yourself, are you capable of actually carrying out those changes, thereby creating a permanent shift in your identity? If your answer to those two questions is yes, the coming weeks will be prime time to get to work. Now here’s my third question: In what precise ways would you have to change yourself in order to get more of the love you long for? Write down or print out your thoughts on a piece of red paper.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

The uterus of a pregnant sand tiger shark is not exactly a peaceful sanctuary. Her eggs hatch in there well before she gives birth. Soon the multiple embryos begin a fight to the death. By the time the mother goes into labor, there’s just one pup remaining. I suspect there’s now a similar kind of survivalof-the-fittest struggle going on within the metaphorical womb of your imagination, Pisces. Several pretty good brainchildren are tussling for supremacy. Which one will defeat and eat the others and grow into maturity? I bet we’ll find out soon.

In addition to the horoscopes you’re reading here, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. To access them online, go to RealAstrology.com. The Expanded Audio Horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. Rob’s main website is at FreeWillAstrology.com. Check out his book, “Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings�

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

A cardinal had a confrontation with my picture window yesterday. For 45 minutes, it hammered its beak against the glass. With the help of my good friend and research assistant Google, I figured out that the bird had probably mistaken its own reflection for a rival that it was trying to attack. Now I’m offering this scene as a cautionary metaphor for you, Aquarius. Keep three lessons in mind: 1. If you feel the urge to fight others, you’re probably mad

By Rob Brezsny

“I’ve seen the future of American literature, and its name is Rob Brezsny.� - Tom Robbins, author of “Jitterbug Perfume� and “Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates�

"# !# "# # "# "# "# # # ! "# "# # ########## "# # "# # #

"# ! "# # "# "# !# "# "## "#

Additional Court Fees Apply

DIVORCE $399 TO $599 5% Discount with this coupon.

(No copies or facsimiles accepted)

Paralegal Document Services 5324 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036

(323) 937-2311 www.wethepeopleusa.com/wtpmm Hours: 9am to 7pm - Monday thru Friday Closed Saturday and Sunday

! ! ! !

! ! ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

&< C8 RD E BASTA M O S E Y: LON CMURT M S E ESDAY) M JA (SEE TU

:RL BG '

by n o t m i r Ed Ga n Ro ed

JULIE ANDREWS – THE GIFT OF MUSIC

(' ' " #$" ) " # " %$ * )%' ) % " '# %() $ ()%'-) "" ' $ ! % $" " #$ & " % ## % $ ( # (& " * () +% " ()( *" $ ' ,( %()( $ + $ $ % % '( ## '() $ " (( ( $ ) $ , #*( " &) ) %$ % ' () ( "" $ " ' $/( %%!

7/18 Generously sponsored by Pasadena Showcase House for the Arts; 7/19 A Lexus Passionate Performance

Fri/Sat JUL 18/19 8:30pm

HOLLYWOOD BOWL

'%*&(

. ') ()( $ ) ( (* ) )% $ . '! $ ( *))" + $* &%" ( ) %""-,%% %," %# '!

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

THURSDAY (. FROM THE DUSTBIN OF HISTORY TO YOU Political economist Raymond Lotta, author of such epater les bourgeoisie tomes as Maoist Economics and the Revolutionary Road to Communism, enumerates the (as yet theoretical) virtues of world Maoist revolution at Libros Revolución bookstore tonight. The learned comrade discourses seismically on “Shifting Tectonic Plates in the World Imperialist System” before a mass meeting of a dozen or so local firebrands, perhaps as many as three of them not undercover cops. Get on board with the latest in mid-20th century revolutionary praxis for free at 312 W. 8th St., downtown L.A., librosrevolucion.blog.com.

FRIDAY (/

I SAW LON CHANEY JUNIOR WALKIN’ WITH THE QUEEN. *UH!* Monster of pulpwad femininity Maria Montez stars in the high-1940s weirdness that is Robert Siodmak’s Cobra Woman (1944) tonight at the Silent Movie Theater. This bit of studio dada has picked up many admirers down through the years, including underground-movie jokester George Kuchar, who presents this fat slice of Universal limburger as part of his “Summer Camp” series on Fridays at the Silent. Also on the bill is Weird Woman, another well-remembered Uni B, this one directed by the consistently wall-eyed Reginald LeBorg. Lon Chaney Jr. as a university prof is the least of many charming implausibilities. $10. 10 pm, 611 N. Fairfax Ave., L.A., silentmovietheatre.com.

SATURDAY (0 LA NUIT AMERICANE

The GLOW festival is billed mysteriously as taking place during “the hours between dusk to dawn with compelling, enchanting, and effervescent sights and sounds situated in spaces and times that expand possibilities for where, how and when the public experiences contemporary art.” Well, yee-haw! This all-night art party (inspired by La Nuit Blanche in Paris) takes place at the pier and adjacent beach in Santa Monica, with what’s rumored to be the latest and wildest in oversized, interactive art plus live performances and DJs until dawn. This may well be the closest thing to Burning Man ever staged in a climate sufficiently dissimilar to Hell to fetch the general public. Free. Opening ceremony, 7 p.m.-7 a.m. Santa Monica Pier. smgov.net/smarts/glow.

SUNDAY )'

TAKE IT OUT & PLAY WITH IT DEPT. Curated (and isn’t every last Goddamned thing curated by somebody these over-

mediated days?) by Reno 9/11’s Thomas Lennon at the fabulous Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater tonight is a screening of the 1983 Steve Martin/Carl Reiner atrocity The Man with Two Brains. Part of the venue’s “Comedy Death-Ray Movie Series” inviting the nyuk-famished masses to see the films as inspired this new breed of soon-to-be obscure funnyfolk. I’m holding out for the night someone with taste runs The Love God? (1969) with Don Knotts. $5. 9:30 p.m. 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, ucbtheatre.com.

MONDAY )(

SWEETNESS & BLIGHT You’re sure to see everybody and their beard at the mighty Silverlake Lounge as the Fold unfolds an extendo-evening of bright and melodic indie-pop from the candy-cane likes of Princeton, Army/Navy, Whitman and You, Me & Iowa. These sturdy American names are like so many cereal boxes – gaudy packaging wrapped around comforting cardboard rectangles chock full of fine sugary generic goodness. This will be the third show into Princeton’s Monday night residency, A/N is too twee for words, Whitman has a fine satirical sense, and Y, M & IA’s debut is drawing well-earned raves. Free. 2906 Sunset Blvd., Silver Lake. foldsilverlake.com.

TUESDAY )) SARDONIC COWBOY

The Washington Post gives James McMurtry heavy props and mentions his Just Us Kids as a possible Album of the Year, while other reviewers credit the Texas songwriter with commendable cynicism and anger. He’s worked with the heavyweight-honk likes of John Prine, Joe Ely, and J.C. Mellencamp, while stylishly overcoming the handicap of being son to novelist Larry McMurtry. He appears with his band the Heartless Bastards tonight at the world-famous Troubadour, with Dedlights in the undercard slot. $20. 8 p.m. 9081 Santa Monica Blvd., WeHo, troubadour.com.

WEDNESDAY )* YOU DA MONSTER

Unemployment in the Golden State stood at a sick 6.8 percent in June, and this month’s statistics aren’t likely to look much better to the two or three remaining economic optimists out there. The public-spirited folks over at monster. com inviting those concerns left still hiring to the third of four Monster Job Fairs being thrown today at the Holiday Inn at LAX. Here, expect “face-to-face” encounters between these happy employers and “the most motivated and highly talented candidates available.” Admittedly, this sounds less like public-spirited good works than a one-reel version of They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? Booths available starting at $1,500. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 9901 La Cienega Blvd., L.A., nationalcareerfairs.com.

Under New Management!

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 4-7PM $2 Domestic & $2.50 Well Drinks Sing KARAOKE on Saturdays @9:30PM Cocktails, Draft Beer, Darts, Sports, & more!

OPEN 11AM-2AM NO COVER 21 and over Only

13307 Saticoy Street North Hollywood (between Woodman & Coldwater Cyn.) 818.983.1676 ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

C8&<

=@CD

STEPHEN VAUGHAN

LEDGER-DEMAIN: THE LATE ACTOR SUMMONS UP AN AMAZING PERFORMANCE

‘KNIGHT’ MOVES

The new Batman film is deeper, darker, more action-packed BY ANDY KLEIN

B

atman Begins, Christopher Nolan’s reboot of the DC Comics franchise, was not only the best film of 2005; it may have been the greatest comic-book movie ever. Or maybe I should say “comic-bookderived,” for part of Nolan’s accomplishment was to strip away the broad, campy baggage that had accrued over years, from the ’60s TV show through the Tim Burton features and finally in the debased Joel Schumacher installments. Focusing on the process of Bruce Wayne becoming Batman, Nolan’s movie followed a well-defined arc. As an origin story, it was complete unto itself – which can be a problem for a blockbuster that demands a sequel. Batman Begins ended with a hint of the direction Nolan was interested in going – that, even as Batman cleaned up Gotham, his flamboyance and theatricality would attract equally flamboyant villains to fill the gap his housecleaning had created. And that’s precisely where Nolan takes us in The Dark Knight. As we find out in the dazzling opening sequence, the emergence of the caped crusader has had another effect too: His dramatic persona has, not surprisingly, generated a multitude of fanboys who imitate his costume and attempt to imitate his vigilante actions. Thugs are breaking into a bank, stealing mob money. Arriving to stop them is Batman ... no, wait ... two Batmans. After the real Batman (a returning Christian Bale) takes care of business, we learn that his dual existence is taking a toll on him, both physically and spiritually ... and the latter is the more dangerous. He’d really like to hang up his cape and pay more attention to Bruce Wayne, but the conflict he signed on for just won’t end; worse yet, he may be responsible for its escalation. He is the Dark Knight who prays for a White Knight – an upfront hero, operating within the law – to relieve him of duty. He seems to have found his man in Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), the newly elected D.A., who is a regular Boy Scout ...

but smart. There is only one complication: Harvey is dating Bruce Wayne’s longtime love, Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal, replacing Katie Holmes, in the only major casting discontinuity). Within this framework, the Joker (Heath Ledger) appears out of nowhere, looking to take over from Gotham’s current crime lords. But the Joker is very different from mobsters like current boss Maroni (Eric Roberts); they’re interested in money. That the Joker is motivated by something loftier makes him much more of a threat. As Nolan has already revealed in interviews, the Joker is a force of chaos. He wants to wreak havoc for its own sake, to put average law-abiding citizens into a position where they must confront their own hearts of darkness. Essentially, he wants to prove that the rest of us are no better than he – animals temporarily affecting a moral posture. How he got this way is never made clear. (The film’s best running gag is a mocking of the standard psychological explanations, and of the simplistic back stories that most comic-book heroes and villains are saddled with.) All of the above is just the expression of the thematic material The Dark Knight takes on. The full plot is way more complicated; it may in fact be a little too complicated. In Nolan’s first four films – Following, Memento, Insomnia, and Batman Begins – the narrative cleaved very strongly to a single character’s POV. With The Prestige, Nolan broke away from this practice, dividing the POV between the two major players, the magicians played by Bale and Hugh Jackman (who, to complicate matters further, were themselves not actually single characters). Most of the time, we saw each through the eyes of the other. This had the advantage of creating suspense: With our identification split, we weren’t sure until the very end whom to sympathize with – in oversimplified terms, whom we should root for. The POV is even more splintered in The

Dark Knight. Batman is only sorta-kinda the central figure. Harvey Dent is the character with the closest thing to a protagonist’s development; his progression is much more dramatic than Batman/Bruce Wayne’s. But we spend as much time with both the Joker and police detective Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) – so much so that it’s safe to say that Ledger, Eckhart, and Oldman all get more literal “face time” than Bale. Bale may be on screen more – and I’m not sure of that – but, for the greater portion of that, he’s in his Batman persona: just a mask, a suit, a mouth, and a growl. Bale isn’t the only one whose part is less central this time around. Both Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman – as butler Alfred and research genius Lucius Fox – have smaller roles as well. All of this adds up to a lot more plot, stretched out to 152 minutes, up from the previous film’s 139. There are so many balls in the air that during the final big action sequence it’s easy to get a little confused as to what’s going on. Still, despite the multi-thread plot and the various character and theme levels, The Dark Knight is very close to all-action. There are fewer pure dialogue interactions this time; the movie is basically a series of spectacular action sequences, with little rest time. There is the sense that Nolan, having dipped one foot in the water in Batman Begins, became infatuated with the possibilities of visceral filmmaking. (Note: Because IMAX often gives me a headache, I chose to view The Dark Knight on a regular screen; given that Nolan actually shot the action stuff with IMAX cameras – apparently a first for a fictional Hollywood feature – those with more giant-screen tolerance may want to go the IMAX route.) This may make the film sound like a Michael Bay production, but the main difference – and God knows there are others – is in the interplay of the action stuff and the thematic development. It’s another step in Nolan’s attempt to make action blockbusters

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

more “serious” without stripping them of the genre’s benefits. One cavil: “Serious” has a down side as well. There is almost no humor in The Dark Knight, even less than in its predecessor. This is not merely serious; it’s downright somber, even grim. Which brings us to Ledger’s much-discussed performance. Yes: It is pretty amazing. Nolan and Ledger must have consciously worked to get as far from Jack Nicholson’s 1989 portrayal as possible. Where Nicholson declaimed, Ledger mumbles; where Nicholson gave us some glimpses of a recognizable inner life, Ledger gives us glimpses of a nearly abstract darkness. Most of all, he provides the Joker with a whiny voice that is as obnoxious as it is evil. As for the rest of the cast: Without even assessing skill, Gyllenhaal is a welcome change, simply because she’s more believable as a smart young professional than the littlegirlish Holmes was. Oldman and Eckhart are both in top form. There are a few clearly deliberate parallels to recent politics here, most obviously when Batman makes Fox complicit in a monumentally intrusive and illegal bugging operation. A second viewing might even reveal that Dent’s and Batman’s and the Joker’s conflicts all work as an allegory of the current fight for America’s soul. The film’s most memorable line – a corollary to Lord Acton’s bit about power corrupting – is that the fate of a hero is to “either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.” ✶

The Dark Knight. Directed by Christopher Nolan. Screenplay by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan; story by Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer; based upon characters appearing in comic books published by DC Comics; Batman created by Bob Kane. With Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman. Opens Friday citywide.

MAMMA MIA!’ IS THE MOST FUN TO BE HAD AT THE MOVIES THIS SUMMER.

“‘

Meryl Streep is sensationally good in one of her most entertaining performances ever. There’s not an audience anywhere that won’t be smiling.” Ray Bennett, THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

“

THE MOST ENTERTAINING SUMMER ‘GREASE .’ MUSICAL SINCE A fun-filled romp from start to finish. Careful – it could cause spontaneous sing-alongs!” Marshall Fine, STAR MAGAZINE

A CROWD -PLEASER.”

“

Bradley Jacobs, US WEEKLY

AN ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, ROUSING AND JOYOUS CELEBRATION that will have you dancing in the aisles and smiling for days.

“

What a movie! A guaranteed cure for the summertime blues. You’ll want to line up and see it again the minute it ends.”

Pete Hammond, HOLLYWOOD.COM

© 2008 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SOUNDTRACK ON DECCA RECORDS FEATURES 17 ABBA CLASSICS PERFORMED BY THE CAST

THIS FILM CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF TOBACCO CONSUMPTION

MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes - Text MAMMAMIA with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549)!

STARTS FRIDAY, JULY 18

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

UNIVERSAL PICTURES LA CITY BEAT - 4 COLOR THURSDAY: 07/17 MCD.MIA-A1.0717.CBLA.PDF

10" X 13"

MARK COPELAND Albums 1-4

LATEST REVIEWS THE DARK KNIGHT See Film feature.

DEATH DEFYING ACTS

I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK (2003)

Li!le Girl Blue • The Man that Got Away Drinking Again • Without a Song Delovely • Do it Again Let’s Do It • I Happen to Like New York

ZING! (1999) Something’s Go!a Give • Goody Goody I Concentrate on You She’s Funny That Way Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm The Coffee Song You’re Nobody ‘til Somebody Loves You This Can’t be Love • I’ll be Seeing You

In the mid-1920s, Harry Houdini (Guy Pearce) – the world’s greatest escape artist and illusionist – arrives in Edinburgh for an engagement. Ever since the death of his beloved mother, he has offered $10,000 to any “spiritualist” who can prove the existence of the afterlife by providing her last words, known only to him. The challenge is taken up by Mary McGarvie (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a transparent fake, and her daughter, Benji (Atonement’s Saoirse Ronan). Even though Houdini supposedly loves his wife, he is immediately smitten with Mary, much to the dismay of his manager (Timothy Spall). This is a decidedly minor addition to the résumé of Australian director Gillian Armstrong (My Brilliant Career, Little Women, Charlotte Grey), despite a script co-written (with Brian Ward) by Tony Grisoni, who penned Queen of Hearts, one of my favorite films from the ’80s. The story seems like an extended variation on the Houdini plot thread in E.L. Doctorow’s Ragtime, where the concept was much better handled. The film moves quickly enough, and it’s a passably glossy entertainment, but, as Houdini, Pearce is too young – only one of the ways the historical liberties are blatant. More to the point, the film fudges horribly on the rather famous circumstances of Houdini’s death – not as badly as the laughable 1953 Tony Curtis biopic, but still ... . The four leads are all good, despite Pearce’s miscasting. (Andy Klein) (Beverly Center 13)

FELON Small-business owner Wade Porter (Stephen Dorff) lives a modest life with fiancée Laura (Marisol Nichols) and their three-year-old son. Everything changes in an instant, however, when he’s convicted of killing a man who breaks into his home. Sentenced to state prison, Wade ends up in a hellish facility overseen by a guard (Harold Perrineau) who encourages gladiatorial fights among the inmates. Though wanting to neither “fight or fornicate” – the two delightful options given by one inmate, but in slightly saltier terms – Wade eventually yields to the former activity, in a paradoxical attempt to protect himself. When trouble mounts, his new cell mate (Val Kilmer), a “lifer” with his own dark devastation, provides important guidance, all while ruminatively stroking his own tattoos. Shot in super-close-up, Felon doesn’t have much of revelatory value to say about the nature of violence – indeed, its closing narration seems to endorse whatever-you-gotta-do means. The flimsy, cardboard-thin setup serves only to get Wade into prison, a setting that serves as an excuse for heavily tatted muscle heads to use gang slang and prison acronyms and flip each other around in gritty, bare-knuckle fashion. Still, for the latter, writer-director Ric Roman Waugh’s heavy background in stuntwork certainly pays off, as the movie, with its many boxers-and-sneakers brawls, rivals Eastern Promises in padding-free fisticuffs. One hopes the stuntmen were well compensated. (Brent Simon) (Mann’s Chinese 6)

THE GROCER’S SON A classic “prodigal son” tale bejeweled with wonder ful pastoral flourishes, this sophomore effort from French director Eric Guirado centers on Antoine (Nicolas Cazale), who long ago abandoned his Provençal home for big city life. Years later he returns, when his father (Daniel Duval), an itinerant grocer, has a heart attack. As he dutifully assumes the task of fulfilling his father’s rounds – journeying from village to village in what’s basically a refrigerated lunch-wagon – he develops a newfound appreciation for his dad’s inveterate diligence and dedication to a clientele who would literally be lost without him. Mastering the job, however, is a trick that proves elusive until his fetching “friend,” Claire (Clotilde Hesme), shows up to add just a dash of spice. If this all sounds unbearably simple, even trite, it’s not. French cinema has a long and proud tradition of finding poetry in life’s minutiae – and the more ordinary the life, the more resonant the poetry. That’s particularly true in Guirado’s film, which, though hardly ground-breaking, unfolds in such an endearingly gentle fashion it’s all but impossible not to feel charmed and, ultimately, smitten. (Wade Major) (Laemmle’s Royal, Laemmle’s Playhouse 7,

Sales, Service & Drumming Instruction

The Bakery Session (1996) At Long Last Love • Too Darn Hot Lady is a Tramp You’d be so Nice to Come Home to I Love Paris • Our Love is Here to Stay Can’t We be Friends

LIVE IN CONCERT (2006)

I Love Paris • At Long Last Love She’s Funny That Way • Folsom Prison Blues You’d be so Nice to Come Home to Can’t We be Friends • Lady Is a Tramp Life is Beautiful

FREE IN HI-DEF MP3 spyware-free • ad-free

WWW.MARKCOPELAND.COM LACITYBEAT 24 JULY 17-23, 2008

Drum Circles & Classes for Kids & Adults Shakers Drums Accesories

Music/DVDs

2921 La Cienega Blvd. Culver City TOLL FREE 888.419.0515 www.MotherlandMusic.com MySpace.com/MotherlandDrums

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Laemmle’s Town Center 5)

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH Brendan Fraser stars as Trevor, a scientist, whose brother Max disappeared 11 years ago. Through an improbable (but who’s counting?) chain of disasters, Trevor, Max’s son Sean (Josh Hutcherson), and tough-as-icebergs Icelandic mountain guide Hannah (Anita

Briem, who looks as good sweaty as posh) plummet to, well, check the title. Director Eric Brevig knows he’s not really shooting a Jules Verne mind-blower (though we do walk out having learned a sentence each about muscovite and magnesium); this is pure commercial blockbuster, and it’s a fine specimen. Every three minutes, Brevig and the quartet of credited writers ratchets the stakes against the trio ever surfacing from the earth’s core: there are dinosaurs, carnivorous plants, and carnivorous fish, not to mention an excruciating sequence with floating magnetic rocks. Every two, he reminds us that we’re witnessing a 3-D spectacular with visual delights that range

from a caress from a field of blowing dandelions to a slap in the face from a yo-yo. (Amy Nicholson) (Citywide)

KENNY A portly Australian lug named Kenny Smyth (Shane Jacobson, who produced and cowrote with his director brother Clayton) sees no shame in his profession: He sets up and cleans portable toilets for rock concerts, carnivals, and other short-term events. “We’re number one with your number twos!” he proudly proclaims. But still he can’t get no re-

You are Cordially Invited to a One-Day Introduction at Pacifica Graduate Institute ! Find Yourself at Pacifica,

Saturday, July 19th in Santa Barbara, California Don’t miss the FINAL FULL-DAY INTRODUCTION before fall classes begin. This special program gives prospective students the opportunity to: • Experience characteristic classroom presentations by core faculty and special guest faculty

Pacifica Graduate Institute is an accredited graduate school offering M.A. and Ph.D. programs in psychology, the humanities, and mythological studies. The school has two campuses nestled between the mountains and the ocean a few miles south of Santa Barbara, California. All of the degree programs are informed by the teachings of C.G. Jung, Joseph Campbell, Marion Woodman, James Hillman, and others in the Depth Psychological Tradition. And, Pacifica’s unique educational format is sensitive to the needs of adult graduate students.

• Learn more about the six degree programs through program-specific information meetings • Explore both of Pacifica's coastal campuses • Meet Pacifica students, alumni, faculty, and staff The $75.00 registration fee includes: • A $25 Gift Certificate for the Pacifica Bookstore • A Continental Breakfast and Buffet Lunch Two Continuing Education Credits are Available Advance registration is required and space is limited. Register today for assured attendance. For more information or to register online visit

www.pacifica.edu or call 805.969.3626, ext. 103

Pacifica is currently accepting applications for Fall 2008 enrollment.

249 Lambert Road Carpinteria, CA 93013

LACITYBEAT 26 JULY 17-23, 2008

spect – not from his demanding ex-wife, his crusty neat-freak dad, his well-to-do brother, or even some of his pathetic coworkers. But things pick up when he’s forced to fly to Nashville – his first time ever on a plane! – for the International Pumper and Cleaner Expo (“Poo HQ,” according to Kenny). He discovers talents he never knew he had, as well as attracting the interest of a friendly stewardess. This is a quintessential low-budget “home” production: The Jacobson brothers not only wrote, directed, and produced, but also play brothers; the rest of Kenny’s family seem to be playing themselves. It’s like an Aussie equivalent of The Foot Fist Way, shot quick and dirty, but coasting efficiently on the affable personalities of the performers and their characters. Sweet and amusing. (The accents are thick enough that the movie has acquired English subtitles.) (Andy Klein) (Laemmle’s Monica 4, Laemmle’s One Colorado)

ROMAN POLANSKI: WANTED AND DESIRED Marina Zenovich’s documentary, which appeared last month on HBO, quickly recaps the life and career of the great filmmaker Roman Polanski (Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown, The Tenant, The Pianist) before concentrating on the 1977 rape case that eventually led to his exile from the U.S. The moral complication is that – although there is no disputing that Polanski drugged, came on to, and finally physically forced himself on 13-year-old Samantha Gailey – there is also little disputing that he got royally fucked over by the legal system. In new interviews, both the prosecuting and defense attorneys relate how Santa Monica-based Judge Laurence Rittenband adjudicated the case based on how he himself would look in the media, reneging on agreements made among all the parties (including the girl’s family). But the most compelling witness is the victim herself, now in her forties, who, not for the first time, decries Polanski's legal situation. (Andy Klein) (Laemmle’s Sunset 5)

SPACE CHIMPS After an unmanned space probe gets sucked into a wormhole and lands on a faraway planet, NASA nabs carefree circus performer Ham III (voiced by Andy Samberg), the grandson of the first chimpanzee astronaut, and pairs him with two other trained, in-house chimps to blast into space and gauge the viability of life. When they land on said planet, the chimps encounter alien bully Zartog (voiced by Jeff Daniels), who has appropriated the powers of the crashed space rover to enslave his peers. There’s nothing particularly offensive nor lastingly memorable about Space Chimps, a loose-limbed animated flick that serves up ample, if strangely mixed, portions of what exhaustive test-market research has surely indicated kids like best – goofy, colorful aliens and talking animals doing outrageous things. Co-written and helmed by debut director Kirk De Micco, it’s as affable and free from thought as its protagonist – a throwback to the animation of two decades ago, when storytelling lapses could be colorfully papered over and excused as merely part of medium. In the Pixar age, of course, that doesn’t really fly. Consequently, one tunes out on Space Chimps long before it’s run its course, even though it does have the virtue of brevity. (Brent Simon) (Citywide)

ALSO OPENING THIS WEEK: Lou Reed’s Berlin. Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) brings the 2006 stage production of Lou Reed’s famously depressing 1973 album to the big screen. Reed stars, along with Emmanuelle Seigner, Fernando Saunders, Antony, Steve Hunter, Rob Wasserman, Rupert Christie, and Sharon Jones. (AK) (Nuart) Mamma Mia! As her wedding approaches, a 20-year-old woman (Amanda Seyfried) tries to figure out which of her mom’s three suitors is her actual father. Meryl Streep plays Mom in Phyllida Lloyd’s adaptation of the hit musical, built around ABBA tunes. Stellan Skarsgård, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Julie Walters, Christine Baranski, and Niall Buggy costar. (AK) (Citywide) A Very British Gangster. Donal MacIntyre’s documentary looks at notorious Fagin-esque gangster Dominic Noonan, leader of a gang of young men and boys, involved in kidnapping, torture, narcotics, and murder. (AK) (Culver Plaza 6)

SHOWTIMES JULY 18-24, 2008 Note: Times are p.m., and daily, unless otherwise indicated. All times are subject to change without notice.

CULVER CITY, MARINA DEL REY The Bridge: Cinema De Lux & IMAX Theater, The Promenade at Howard Hughes Center, 6081 Center Dr, Westchester, (310) 568-3375. The Dark Knight Fri 5:45 a.m., 6:20 a.m., 7 a.m., 8 a.m., 8:45 a.m., 9:30 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 12:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4, 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:10, 10:40, 11:40, 12:25 a.m.; Sat 9:30 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 12:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4, 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:10, 10:40, 11:40, 12:25 a.m.; Sun 9:30 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 12:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4, 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:10, 10:40; Mon-Thur 11:15 a.m., 12:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4, 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:10, 10:40. Hancock Fri-Sat 10:25 a.m., noon, 12:40, 2:15, 2:55, 4:30, 5:10, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35, midnight, 12:30 a.m.; Sun 10:25 a.m., noon, 12:40, 2:15, 2:55, 4:30, 5:10, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35; Mon-Thur noon, 12:40, 2:15, 2:55, 4:30, 5:10, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Sat 10:15 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:05, 2:05, 3:55, 4:55, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:40, 12:25 a.m.; Sun 10:15 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:05, 2:05, 3:55, 4:55, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:40; Mon 11:15 a.m., 2:05, 3:55, 4:55, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:40; Tue-Thur 11:15 a.m., 1:05, 2:05, 3:55, 4:55, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:40. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D Fri-Sat 11:45 a.m., 2:10, 4:35, 7, 9:30, 11:45; Sun-Thur 11:45 a.m., 2:10, 4:35, 7, 9:30. Mamma Mia! Fri-Sat 11:45 a.m., 2:20, 4:55, 7:30, 10:05, 12:30 a.m.; Sun-Thur 11:45 a.m., 2:20, 4:55, 7:30, 10:05. Meet Dave Fri-Sat 12:20, 2:40, 5, 7:20, 9:40, midnight; Sun 2:40, 5, 7:20, 9:40; Mon-Thur 12:20, 2:40, 5, 7:20, 9:40. Space Chimps Fri-Sun 10:30 a.m., 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:30, 10:30; Mon-Thur 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:30, 10:30. Thomas & Friends: The Great Discovery Sat-Thur 10 a.m. WALL-E Fri 10:20 a.m., 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 3:10, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 9:40; Sat 10:20 a.m., 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 3:10, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 9:55, 12:20 a.m.; Sun 10:20 a.m., 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 3:10, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 9:55; Mon-Thur 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 3:10, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 9:55. Wanted Fri-Sat 10:45 a.m., 1:20, 4, 6:40, 9:25, midnight; Sun 10:45 a.m., 1:20, 4, 6:40, 9:25; Mon-Thur 1:20, 4, 6:40, 9:25. Culver Plaza Theatre, 9919 Washington Blvd, (310) 836-5516. Get Smart 4:35, 9. The Incredible Hulk 10:10. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 11:50 a.m., 5:05, 7:45. Iron Man 2:20, 10:15. Kismat Konnection noon, 3:15, 6:30, 9:45.

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Kung Fu Panda 12:25, 2:30, 7. Labyrinth Wed only, 7. The Last Mistress 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8. Mongol 11:55 a.m., 2:40, 5:15, 7:45, 10:20. Sex and the City Fri-Tue 2, 7:05, 10; Wed 2, 10; Thur 2, 7:05, 10. A Very British Gangster noon, 5:05. Loews Cineplex Marina Marketplace, 13455 Maxella Av, (310) 827-9588. Hancock Fri-Sun 10:15 a.m., 12:45, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:15; Mon-Thur 12:45, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:15. Journey to the Center of the Earth Fri-Sun 10 a.m., 12:35, 3:15, 5:35, 8:15, 10:40; Mon-Thur 12:35, 3:15, 5:35, 8:15, 10:40.

THRILLER

OTCH “ASO TTWOPIS-N TY YOU MAY

THE.” FORGET n,TO BREA ra

Kenneth Tu ra - -Ke ES LOS ANGELES TIM A FIL M BY

T GU IL LA UM E CA NE

Novevell byby llingg No Sellin st-Se Bestthe Be Ba Basesedd onon the BE N

HA RL AN CO BE

© 2006 EUROPACORP – LES PRODUCTIONS DU TRESOR

! WEST HOLLYWOOD Laemmle’s Sunset 5 (323) 848-3500 Tickets available @ laemmle.com Daily: 1:00 • 4:00 • 7:00 • 9:55

Mamma Mia! Fri-Sun 10:25 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:15, 2:15, 4, 5, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:35; Mon-Thur 1:15, 2:15, 4, 5, 6:45, 7:45, 9:40, 10:35. Space Chimps Fri-Sun 10:45 a.m., 1, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10; Mon-Thur 1, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10. WALL-E Fri-Sun 11:10 a.m., 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:30; MonThur 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:30. Pacific Culver Stadium 12, 9500 Culver Bl, (310) 855-7519. The Dark Knight Fri-Sun 10 a.m., 12:15, 12:20, 1:20, 4, 4:05, 5, 7:30, 7:35, 8:30, 11, 11:05, midnight; Mon-Thur 11 a.m., 1:15, 1:20, 2:15, 4:30, 4:35, 5:30, 7:50, 7:55, 8:45, 11:10, 11:15. Hancock Fri-Sun 10:20 a.m., 12:35, 2:55, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45, midnight; Mon-Thur 11:35 a.m., 1:55, 4:10, 7:10, 9:25. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Sun 10:25 a.m., 11:25 a.m., 1:05, 2:10, 4:20, 5:25, 7:20, 8:20, 10:05, 11:10; Mon-Thur 11:25 a.m., 12:25, 2:10, 4:20, 5:20, 7:15, 8:15, 10, 11. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D Fri-Sun 10:35 a.m., 1, 3:20, 5:45, 8:15, 10:40; Mon-Thur 11:15 a.m., 1:40, 4, 7:05, 9:30. Mamma Mia! Fri-Sun 10:15 a.m., 12:45, 3:15, 5:50, 8:25, 11:05; Mon-Thur 11:40 a.m., 2:30, 5:45, 8:25, 11:05. Meet Dave Fri-Sun 10:10 a.m., 12:30, 2:50, 5:15, 7:40, 9:50, midnight; Mon-Thur 11:45 a.m., 2:40, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. Space Chimps Fri-Sun 10:05 a.m., 12:25, 2:40, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40; Mon-Thur 11:50 a.m., 2:20, 4:50, 7:35, 9:45. WALL-E 11:10 a.m., 1:50, 4:40, 7:25, 9:55. Wanted Fri-Sun 10:50 a.m., 1:35, 4:15, 7, 9:35, midnight; Mon-Thur 11:05 a.m., 1:45, 4:15, 7, 9:35. UA Marina, 4335 Glencoe Av, (310) 823-1721. The Dark Knight 9 a.m., 9:30 a.m., 11:50 a.m., 12:20, 12:50, 3:10, 3:40, 4:10, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:50, 10:20, 10:50. Hellboy II: The Golden Army 9:50 a.m., 12:40, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 7:10, 7:40, 10, 10:30. Meet Dave 9:20 a.m., 10:30 a.m.. Open Captioned Performance - Selected Film - Daily . Wanted 9:10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., 2:20, 5:10, 7:50, 10:40.

HOLLYWOOD

! WEST LOS ANGELES The LANDMARK at W. Pico & Westwood (310) 281-8233 Free Parking. www.landmarktheatres.com On 2 Screens Daily: 11:00 • 12:00 • 1:50 • 3:00 • 4:40 • 6:30 • 7:35 • 10:25

ArcLight Cinemas Hollywood, 6360 Sunset Bl, (323) 464-4226. American Teen Thur only, midnight. Brideshead Revisited Thur only, midnight. The Dark Knight Fri 9:30 a.m., 10:10 a.m., 11:05 a.m., noon, 12:30, 1, 1:30, 2:25, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 5, 5:45, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:05, 10, 10:35, 11, 11:30, midnight, 12:25 a.m.; Sat 9:30 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:05 a.m., noon, 12:30, 1, 1:20, 2:25, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 4:50, 5:45, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:20, 9:05, 10, 10:30, 11, 11:30, 11:50, 12:25 a.m.; Sun 9:30 a.m.,

" CLAREMONT ! PASADENA # IRVINE Laemmle’s Claremont 5 Edwards Westpark 8 Laemmle’s (909) 621-5500 (800) FANDANGO #144 Playhouse 7 Tickets available # LAGUNA NIGUEL (626) 844-6500 @ laemmle.com Regency Rancho Tickets available " ENCINO Niguel 8 (949) 831-0446 @ laemmle.com Laemmle’s LONG BEACH # Town Center 5 United Artists Marketplace " ! (818) 981-9811 (800) FANDANGO #509

tellnoonemovie.com

“CAPTIVATING!” “REVELATORY!” -NEWSWEEK

-PEOPLE

10 a.m., 11:05 a.m., noon, 12:30, 1, 1:20, 2:25, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 4:50, 5:45, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:20, 9:05, 10, 10:30, 11, 11:30, 11:50; Mon-Thur 10:10 a.m., 11:05 a.m., noon, 12:30, 1, 1:30, 2:25, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 5, 5:45, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:20, 9:05, 10, 10:35, 11, 11:30, 11:45. Hancock Fri-Mon 10:05 a.m., 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05; Tue 10:05 a.m., 10:50 a.m., 1:05, 1:50, 4:05, 4:50, 7:05, 7:50, 10:05, 10:50; Wed 10:05 a.m., 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05; Thur 10:05 a.m., 1:05, 4:05. Iron Man Fri-Mon 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:20, 7:20, 10:20; Wed-Thur 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:20, 7:20, 10:20. Mamma Mia! 11:15 a.m., 11:35 a.m., 2:05, 2:35, 4:45, 5:25, 7:35, 8:05, 10:15, 10:45. Meet Dave Fri-Wed 10:40 a.m., 1:40, 4:40. Mongol Fri-Tue 7:40, 10:30; Thur 10:40 a.m., 1:40, 4:40. Sex and the City 10 a.m., 3. Step Brothers Thur only, midnight. The Wackness Fri-Tue 10:15 a.m., 1:15, 4:25, 7:25, 9:55; Wed 10:15 a.m., 1:15, 4:25; Thur 10:15 a.m., 1:15, 4:25, 7:25, 9:55. Wanted 10:25 a.m., 1:25, 4:35, 7:45, 10:25. Grauman’s Chinese, 6925 Hollywood Bl, (323) 4648111. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Tue 10:30 a.m., 1:15, 4, 7, 10; Thur 10:30 a.m., 1:15, 4, 7, 10. Private Screening Wed only, 7. Los Feliz 3, 1822 N Vermont Av, (323) 664-2169. Hellboy II: The Golden Army 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Mamma Mia! 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Wanted 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Mann Chinese 6, 6801 Hollywood Bl, (323) 461-3331. Felon 11:20 a.m., 2, 4:50, 7:40, 10:10. Get Smart 1:10, 4:10, 6:50, 9:40. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Sun 11:30 a.m., 2:15, 5:10, 8, 10:45; Tue 11:30 a.m., 2:15, 5:10, 8, 10:45; Wed 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:15, 2:15, 4, 5:10, 7, 8, 10, 10:45. Journey to the Center of the Earth Fri-Sat 11 a.m., 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:30, 11; Sun-Tue 11 a.m., 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:30; Thur 11 a.m., 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:30. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D 12:20, 2:40, 5, 7:20, 9:50. Private Screening Mon 7; Thur 7:30. Space Chimps 12:10, 2:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9:20. Pacific’s El Capitan, 6838 Hollywood Bl, (323) 4677674. WALL-E Fri-Wed 10 a.m., 1, 4, 7, 9:45; Thur 10 a.m., 1. Pacific’s The Grove Stadium 14, 189 The Grove Dr, Third St & Fairfax Av, (323) 692-0829. The Dark Knight Fri 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:10, 4, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35, 12:10 a.m., 12:20 a.m.; Sat 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:20, 4, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35, 12:10 a.m., 12:20 a.m.; Sun-Mon 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m.,

noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:20, 4, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35; Tue 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:10, 4, 4:30, 5, 7:10, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35; Wed 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:10, 4, 4:30, 5, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35; Thur 9:20 a.m., 10 a.m., 11:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 1:30, 3:10, 3:45, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:35, 10:35, 11:05, 11:35. Get Smart Fri-Mon 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10; Tue 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:10, 10:45; Wed-Thur 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10. Hancock 9:35 a.m., 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 7:55, 10:40. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Wed 10:15 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:15, 2:15, 4:25, 5:15, 7:25, 8:20, 10:30, 11:30; Thur 10:15 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:15, 2:15, 4:25, 5:15, 8:20, 11, 11:30. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D 11:35 a.m., 2:20, 5:10, 7:45, 10:25. Mamma Mia! Fri 9:55 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 12:55, 2:25, 4:15, 5:25, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15, 11:15; Sat-Sun 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:25, 2:25, 4:15, 5:25, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15, 11:15; Mon 10:30 a.m., 11 a.m., 1:25, 2:25, 4:15, 5:25, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15, 11:15; Tue-Thur 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:25, 2:25, 4:15, 5:25, 7:15, 8:15, 10:15, 11:15. Meet Dave Fri-Wed 9:25 a.m., 11:55 a.m., 2:20, 4:50, 7:40, 10:20; Thur 9:25 a.m., 11:55 a.m., 2:20, 4:40, 10:45. Space Chimps 9:40 a.m., 12:05, 2:25, 4:55, 7:20, 10. Wanted 11:10 a.m., 2:05, 5:05, 8:05, 10:55. Regent Showcase, 614 N La Brea Av, (323) 9342944. Call theater for titles and showtimes. Vine, 6321 Hollywood Bl, (323) 463-6819. Vista, 4473 Sunset, (323) 660-6639. The Dark Knight Fri 2:45, 6:15, 9:45; Sat-Sun 11:30 a.m., 2:45, 6:15, 9:45; MonThur 2:45, 6:15, 9:45.

SANTA MONICA AMC Santa Monica 7, 1310 Third Street Promenade, (310) 395-3030. Get Smart Fri-Sun noon, 2:30, 5:10, 8, 10:40; Mon-Thur noon, 2:30, 5:10, 8, 10:30. Hancock Fri-Sun 11:30 a.m., 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30; MonThur 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Journey to the Center of the Earth Fri-Sun 11:15 a.m., 1:45, 4:10, 6:50, 9:45; Mon-Thur 1:45, 4:10, 6:50, 9:45. Space Chimps Fri-Sun 11 a.m., 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:15, 10:45; Mon-Thur 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:10, 10:15. WALL-E Fri-Sun 11:45 a.m., 12:20, 2:10, 2:50, 4:50, 5:20, 7:20, 7:50, 10, 10:10; Mon 12:20, 2, 2:50, 4:20, 5:20, 7:50, 10:10, 10:25; Tue-Wed 12:20, 2:10, 2:50, 4:50, 5:20, 7:20, 7:50, 10, 10:10; Thur 12:20, 2, 2:50, 4:20, 5:20, 7:50, 10:10, 10:25. Wanted Fri-Sun 11:40 a.m., 2:20, 5, 7:40, 10:20; Mon-Thur 2:20, 5, 7:40, 10:20. Laemmle’s Monica 4-Plex, 1332 Second St, (310) 3949741. David & Fatima 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:50.

NYC. SUMMER 1994. THE GIRLS WERE FLY. THE MUSIC WAS DOPE. AND LUKE WAS JUST TRYING TO DEAL.

BEN JOSH FAMKE OLIVIA MARY-KATE METHOD KINGSLEY PECK JANSSEN THIRLBY OLSEN MAN

“A FILM OF RARE FASCINATION AND POWER!”

“HILARIOUS AN D HE ARTFELT! JOSH PECK OLIVIA THIRLBY

-ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

“COMPELLING, SMARTLY TOLD!”

AND ARE TERRIFIC!” -Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

-LOS ANGELES TIMES

“SHARPLY ARGUED! SUBTLY INTELLIGENT.”

“EXCELLENT!

IN THE AISLES. ‘THE WACKNESS’ HAD VIEWERS ROLLING ED!”

-THE NEW YORK TIMES

SHARPLY WRITTEN AND OBSERV

-Lou Lumenick, NEW YORK POST

“BRILLIANT! RIVETING!” -TIME OUT NEW YORK Official Selection

Official Selection

Film Festival

Film Festival

Sundance

cannes

CK DTRA SOUN URING FEAT S B.I.G., N, RIOU NOTO -TANG CLA T, UES WU NAS, CALLED Q D E AN A TRIB ZZY JEFF CE, DJ JA ESH PRIN R THE F MARKIE BIZ

WINNER SUNDANCE

AUDIENCE AWARD FILM FESTIVAL FESTIVAL FILM

A FILM BY MARINA ZENOVICH AND PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH GRACEFUL PICTURES AND BBC AN ANTIDOTE FILMS PRODUCTION A FILM BY MARINA ZENOVICH

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JONATHAN LEVINE

“ROMAN POLANSKI:WANTED AND DESIRED” DIRECTEDBY MARINA ZENOVICH PRODUCED BY JEFFREY LEVY-HINTE LILA YACOUB MARINA ZENOVICH EXECUTIVE WRITTEN PRODUCERS STEVEN SODERBERGH RANDY WOOTEN BY JOE BINI P.G. MORGAN DIRECTOR OF COMPOSED & MARINA ZENOVICH PHOTOGRAPHY TANJA KOOP EDITEDBY JOE BINI MUSICARRANGED BY MARK DEGLI ANTONI COASSOCIATE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER P.G. MORGAN PRODUCER MICHELLE SULLIVAN FOR BBC: PRODUCER NICK FRASER SENIOR EXECUTIVE FOR HBO: PRODUCER NANCY ABRAHAM PRODUCER SHEILA NEVINS

SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON JIVE/ZOMBA

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS NOW PLAYING!

©2008 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved. HBO is a service mark of Home Box Office, Inc. ®

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS

FRIDAY, JULY 18

WEST HOLLYWOOD LAEMMLE’S SUNSET-5 THEATRES (323) 848-3500 3 hours free validated parking with ticket purchase. Tickets available at laemmle.com

WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM

SORRY, NO PASSES ACCEPTED FOR THIS ENGAGEMENT

Q&A WITH FILMMAKERS FRI. 7/18 FOLLOWING THE 7:10 PM SHOW AND SAT. 7/19 FOLLOWING THE 4:20 PM SHOW.

" HOLLYWOOD ArcLight Cinemas At Sunset & Vine (323) 464-4226 Daily: 10:15 • 1:15 • 4:25 • 7:25 • 9:55 Wed.: 10:15 • 1:15 • 4:25

" WEST LOS ANGELES The LANDMARK at W. Pico & Westwood (310) 281-8233 Free Parking. www.landmarktheatres.com Daily: 11:00 • 1:20 • 3:45 • 6:10 • 8:35 • 10:55

! SANTA MONICA Laemmle’s Monica (310) 394-9741 Tickets available @ laemmle.com Daily: 1:50 • 4:30 • 7:20 • 9:45

" SHERMAN OAKS ArcLight Cinemas At The Sherman Oaks Galleria (818) 501-0753 Fri. - Sun.: 11:40 • 2:15 • 5:15 • 7:50 • 10:35 Mon.: Closed for screening Tues. & Wed.: 11:40 • 2:10 • 5:15 • 7:50 • 10:35 Thurs.: 11:40 • 2:10 • 5:15 • 7:50

" PASADENA ! IRVINE Edwards University Town Laemmle’s Playhouse 7 Cinemas Center 6 (800) FANDANGO #143 (626) 844-6500 Tickets available @ laemmle.com

"Presented in

!Presented in

VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.THEWACKNESS.COM

LACITYBEAT 28 JULY 17-23, 2008

Garden Party 1, 3:20, 5:40, 8, 10:15. Kenny 1:40, 4:20, 7:10, 9:35. The Wackness 1:50, 4:30, 7:20, 9:45. Loews Cineplex Broadway, 1441 Third Street Promenade, (310) 458-1506. Hancock Fri-Sun 10:30 a.m., 12:45, 3, 5:25, 7:50, 10:10; Mon-Thur 12:45, 3, 5:25, 7:50, 10:10. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Sun 10:45 a.m., 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:30, 9:30, 10:20; Mon-Thur 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:30, 9:30, 10:20. Meet Dave Fri-Sun 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:15; Mon-Thur 1, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan Fri-Sun 10:50 a.m., 10:30; Mon-Thur 10. Mann Criterion, 1313 Third Street Promenade, (310) 395-1599. The Dark Knight Fri-Sat 10:10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4:05, 5, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, 10, 11, midnight; Sun-Thur 10:10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4:05, 5, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, 10, 11. Mamma Mia! Fri-Sat 10:40 a.m., 11:40 a.m., 1:20, 2:30, 4:15, 5:10, 7, 8, 9:50, 10:50, 12:15 a.m.; Sun-Thur 10:40 a.m., 11:40 a.m., 1:20, 2:30, 4:15, 5:10, 7, 8, 9:50, 10:50. Sex and the City 12:10, 3:20, 6:40, 10:10.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, BEVERLY HILLS, CENTURY CITY AMC Century City 15, 10250 Santa Monica Bl, (310) 277-2011. The Dark Knight Fri-Sat 9:30 a.m., 10:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 2:25, 3:30, 4:30, 6:10, 7:10, 8:10, 9:55, 10:55, 11:55, 12:30 a.m., 12:50 a.m.; Sun 9:30 a.m., 10:40 a.m., noon, 12:50, 2:25, 3:30, 4:30, 6:10, 7:10, 8:10, 9:55, 10:40; Mon-Wed 11 a.m., noon, 1, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:10, 7:10, 8:10, 9:30, 10:30; Thur noon, 3:30, 7:10, 10:30. Get Smart Fri 10:15 a.m., 1:10, 4:15, 7:20, 10:15; Sat 10 a.m., 1, 3:50, 7:55, 10:15; Sun 1:10, 4:15, 7:20, 10:15; Mon 11:20 a.m., 2:05, 4:50, 7:35, 10:25; Tue 11:20 a.m., 2:05, 4:45, 10:25; Wed 11:20 a.m., 2:05, 4:45, 7:35, 10:25. Hancock Fri 9:40 a.m., 10:20 a.m., 12:10, 2:45, 5:25, 8:05, 10:15, 11; Sat 9:40 a.m., 10:20 a.m., 12:10, 2:45, 5:25, 8:05, 10:35, 11; Sun 9:40 a.m., 10:20 a.m., 12:10, 2:45, 5:25, 8:05, 10:15, 10:50; Mon 11:05 a.m., 11:45 a.m., 1:30, 4:05, 10, 10:50; Tue 11:45 a.m., noon, 2:15, 4:55, 7:35, 10, 10:45; Wed 11:45 a.m., noon, 2:15, 4:55, 7:35, 10, 10:50. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri-Sat 10:55 a.m., 1, 2, 4:10, 5, 7:15, 8:20, 10:20, 11:30, 12:55 a.m.; Sun 10:55 a.m., 1, 2, 4:10, 5, 7:15, 8:20, 10:20; Mon-Wed 10:40 a.m., 1:20, 2:05, 4:20, 5:05, 7:15, 8, 10:05, 10:50. Journey to the Center of the Earth Fri-Sat 9:45 a.m., 12:05, 2:35, 5:10, 7:50, 10:30, 12:55 a.m.; Sun 9:45 a.m., 12:05, 2:35, 5:10, 7:50, 10:30; Mon-Wed 12:05, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:15. Mamma Mia! Fri-Sun 10:10 a.m., 11 a.m., 1:05, 1:50, 4, 4:45, 7, 7:45, 10, 10:45; Mon-Wed 10:45 a.m., 11:35 a.m., 1:35, 2:15, 4:15, 5, 7, 7:50, 9:45, 10:40. Meet Dave Fri 10 a.m., 3:15, 5:30, 7:55; Sat 3:15, 5:30; Sun 10 a.m., 3:15, 5:30, 7:55; Mon 10:40 a.m., 12:55, 3:05, 5:30; Tue-Wed 10:40 a.m., 12:55, 3:05, 5:30, 8:05. Sex and the City Fri-Sat 1, 4:20, 7:35, 10:50; Sun 1, 4:20, 7:35, 10:45; Mon-Tue 4, 7:25, 10:35; Wed 3:45, 10:35. Space Chimps Fri-Sun 9:55 a.m., 12:20, 2:40, 5:05, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Wed 10:50 a.m., 1, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55. WALL-E Fri-Sun 9:35 a.m., 10:15 a.m., 12:15, 12:50, 2:50, 5:30, 8, 10:35; Mon-Tue 10:55 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:25, 2, 4:40, 7:20, 9:50; Wed 10:55 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:20, 2, 4:40, 7:20, 9:50. Wanted Fri-Sun 10:50 a.m., 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10:25; Mon-Wed 11:15 a.m., 2, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20. WarGames Thur only, 7:30. Laemmle’s Music Hall 3, 9036 Wilshire Bl, (310) 2746869. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson Fri 5:35, 8:20; Sat-Sun 12:10, 2:50, 5:35, 8:20; Mon-Thur 5:35, 8:20. The Last Mistress Fri 7:20, 10; Sat-Sun noon, 2:40, 7:20, 10; Mon-Thur 7:20, 10. Live and Become Fri 5, 8:10; Sat-Sun 1:40, 5, 8:10; Mon-Thur 5, 8:10. My Father My Lord 5:20. Laemmle’s Sunset 5 Theatre, 8000 Sunset Bl, (323) 848-3500. Brutal Massacre: A Comedy Midnight Fri-Sat. Garden Party 12:45, 3, 5:20, 7:40, 10. Kabluey 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:50. Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired 1:40, 4:20, 7:10, 9:55. Tell No One 1, 4, 7, 9:55. Beverly Center 13 Cinemas, 8522 Beverly Blvd., Suite 835, (310) 652-7760. Death Defying Acts 1:20, 3:30, 5:30, 7:50, 10:20. The Fall 12:40, 3, 5:30, 7:50, 10:20. The Happening 12:30, 4:50, 9:50. The Incredible Hulk 2:30, 7:20. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. Iron Man 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl 12:20, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:30. Kung Fu Panda 12:10, 2:20, 4:30, 6:50, 9. The Love Guru 1:20, 3:10, 5, 7:10, 9:40. Sex and the City noon, 1, 3, 4:10, 6, 7, 9, 10. The Strangers 1, 3:10, 5:20, 7:20, 9:30. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan 12:20, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50.

WESTWOOD, WEST L.A. AMC Avco Center, 10840 Wilshire Bl, (310) 475-0711. Hellboy II: The Golden Army Fri 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:40; SatSun 10:30 a.m., 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:40; Mon-Thur 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:40. Mamma Mia! Fri noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10; Sat-Sun 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:55, 7:30, 10; Mon-Thur noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. Meet Dave Fri 12:10, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:25; Sat-Sun 10 a.m., 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:25; Mon-Wed 12:10, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:25; Thur 12:10, 2:25, 4:45. Wanted Fri 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50; Sat-Sun 11:20 a.m., 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50; Mon-Thur 1:55, 4:30, 7:05,

9:50. Laemmle’s Royal Theatre, 11523 Santa Monica Bl, (310) 477-5581. The Grocer’s Son 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:30. Landmark’s Nuart Theater, 11272 Santa Monica Bl, (310) 281-8223. Lou Reed’s Berlin Fri-Sun 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Thur 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. The Rocky Horror Picture Show Sat only, midnight. Super Troopers Fri only, midnight. Landmark’s Regent, 1045 Broxton Av, (310) 281-8223. WALL-E 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10. The Landmark West Los Angeles, 10850 W Pico Bl, (310) 281-8223. The Dark Knight Fri-Sat 10:10 a.m., 10:40 a.m., 12:20, 12:50, 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:50, 5:20, 7, 7:30, 8:10, 8:40, 9:20, 10:20, 10:50, 11:30, midnight; Sun 10:10 a.m., 10:40 a.m., 12:20, 12:50, 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:50, 5:20, 7, 7:30, 8:10, 8:40, 9:20, 10:20, 10:50, 11:30; Mon-Thur 10:40 a.m., 12:20, 12:50, 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:50, 5:20, 7, 7:30, 8:10, 8:40, 9:20, 10:20, 10:50, 11:30. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson Fri-Tue 11:15 a.m., 1:55, 4:45, 7:45, 10:30; Wed 11:15 a.m., 1:55, 10:30; Thur 11:15 a.m., 1:55, 4:45, 7:45, 10:30. Mamma Mia! 11:10 a.m., noon, 1:45, 2:45, 4:30, 5:25, 7:15, 8, 9:50, 10:35. Mongol Fri-Sun 11:05 a.m., 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:25; Mon 11:05 a.m., 1:50, 10:25; Tue-Thur 11:05 a.m., 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:25. Tell No One 11 a.m., noon, 1:50, 3, 4:40, 6:30, 7:35, 10:25. The Visitor Fri-Tue 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:45, 7:20, 9:55; Wed 2:15, 4:45, 7:20, 9:55; Thur 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:45, 10:20. The Wackness 11 a.m., 1:20, 3:45, 6:10, 8:35, 10:55. Majestic Crest Theater, 1262 Westwood Bl, (310) 474-7866. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl 12:30, 2:30. Mongol 4:30, 7:15, 9:45. Mann Bruin, 948 Broxton Av, (310) 208-8998. Hancock 11:50 a.m., 2:10, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Mann Festival 1, 10887 Lindbrook Av, (310) 2084575. Get Smart 11:30 a.m., 4:20, 9:40. Journey to the Center of the Earth 2, 7:10. Mann Village, 961 Broxton Av, (310) 208-5576. The Dark Knight 9 a.m., 12:30, 4, 7:30, 11.

“

SPECIAL SCREENINGS THURSDAY, JULY 17 American Cinematheque at the Aero Theatre, Santa Monica, (323) 466-3456. Aerotheatre.com. Blake Edwards Retrospective – Days of Wine and Roses, 7:30; followed by Experiment in Terror. American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre, Hollywood, (323) 466-3456. Egyptiantheatre.com. Italian Grindhouse: Assault of the Deadly Celluloid – Deep Red (Profondo Rosso), 7:30; followed by The Secret of Dorian Gray (Il Dio Chiamato Dorian). CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre, Hollywood, (323) 655-2520. Silentmovietheatre.com. Don’t Knock the Rock ’08 – Such Hawks, Such Hounds, 8; followed by Q&A with filmmakers John Srebalus and Jessica Hundley and live performance by San Diego psych band Earthless. New Beverly Cinema, L.A., (323) 938-4038. Newbevcinema.com. Grey Gardens, 7:30; Gimme Shelter, 9:25.

SATURDAY, JULY 19 American Cinematheque at the Aero Theatre Godard in the 60s – Pierrot le Fou, 7:30; followed by Masculine Feminine (Masculin Feminin: 15 Faits Precis). American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre, Hollywood. Tinto Brass Double Feature – Deadly Sweet (Col Coure In Gola), 7:30; followed by The Howl (L’Urlo). CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre John Huston’s Beautiful Losers – Fat City, 7:30. Gore Comedies – Dead Alive, 10. L.A. County Museum of Art, Leo S. Bing Theatre The Discreet Charm of Charles Boyer – Le Bonheur, 7:30; The First Legion, 9:20. New Beverly Cinema Fright Night, 3:30, 7:30; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, 5:35, 9:35. Just One of the Guys, midnight.

Matinee Festival – Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown, 4. Godard in the 60s – Alphaville (Alphaville, une Etrange Aventure de Lemmy Caution), 7:30; followed by La Chinoise. American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre Sergio Corbucci Spaghetti Western Double Feature – The Mercenary (Il Mercenario), 7:30; followed by Navajo Joe. CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre Harold Lloyd Shorts, 1, 3:30. New Beverly Cinema Midnight Madness, 3:20, 7:30; Wet Hot American Summer, 5:30, 9:40. Skirball Center, L.A., (323) 655-8587. Skirball.org. Heymann Brothers Film Retrospective: Celebrating Israel's 60th – Black Over White, 2; followed by Aviv: Screwed Up Generation.

MONDAY, JULY 21 New Beverly Cinema Midnight Madness, 7:30; Wet Hot American Summer, 9:40.

SUNDAY, JULY 20 American Cinematheque at the Aero Theatre Family

TUESDAY, JULY 22 CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre Young, Hot ‘N Nasty Teenage Cruisers, 8. L.A. County Museum of Art, Leo S. Bing Theatre Tuesday Matinee – Yolanda and the Thief, 1. New Beverly Cinema Midnight Madness, 7:30; Wet Hot American Summer, 9:40.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23 American Cinematheque at the Aero Theatre Godard in the 60s – Two or Three Things I Know About Her (2 ou 3 Choses Que Je Sais D’Elle), 7:30; followed by Band of Outsiders (Band Á Part). American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre Special Event – The Deal, 7:30; followed by The Queen; discussion with actor Michael Sheen between films. CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre Silent Sirens – The Fair Co-Ed, at 8. New Beverly Cinema Desperately Seeking Susan, 7:30; Pretty in Pink, 9:35.

FRIDAY, JULY 18 American Cinematheque at the Aero Theatre Godard in the 60s – Breathless (A Bout de Souffle), 7:30; followed by A Woman Is a Woman (Une Femme est Une Femme). American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre Tomas Milian/Umberto Lenzi Crime Triple Feature – Assault with a Deadly Weapon (Romo A Mano Armata), 7:30; followed by Almost Human (Milano Odia: La Polizia Non Puo Sparere); followed by The Cynic, the Rat and the Fist (Il Cinico L’Infame, Il Violento). CineFamily at the Silent Movie Theatre The Female Gaze – The Cool World, 7:30. Summer “Camp” – Cobra Woman, 10; followed by Weird Woman. L.A. County Museum of Art, Leo S. Bing Theatre, L.A., (323) 857-6010. Lacma.org. The Discreet Charm of Charles Boyer – History Is Made at Night, 7:30; Gaslight, 9:20. New Beverly Cinema Fright Night, 7:30; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, 9:35. Reservoir Dogs, midnight.

THE BEST MOVIE OF 2008 BY A MILE.” BOB STRAUSS,

EPIC.. .. .. HEATH LEDGER CREATES A JOKER WHO IS ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE SCREEN CHARACTERS OF THE DECADE ..”” “ “

RICHARD ROEPER,

THE DARK KNIGHT ’’ IS A STRAP-YOURSELF-IN TRIP..”” “ “‘‘

RICHARD CORLISS,

IAL SPECQ & A Castee FFrriiddaayy’s r

STARTS FRIDAY, JULY 18 - CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR LISTINGS µ WESTWOOD Mann £ µ HOLLYWOOD ArcLight µ BEVERLY HILLS Pacific’s ∂ UNIVERSAL CITY CityWalk Stadium 19 The Grove Stadium 14 with IMAX 800/FANDANGO #707 Village 310/248-MANN #051 Cinemas at Sunset & Vine 323/464-4226 323/692-0829 #209 $3.00 parking after 6:00 PM 4 hours validated parking -$2 MOVIE PARKING REBATE $5 General in “Privilege Parking Lots”. Parking Rebate At Box Office With Movie µ CENTURY CITY AMC Century 15 310/289-4AMC 4 hours on-site $1.00 refunded with paid validated parking Ticket Purchase (Excludes Preferred & Valet) 3 hrs free parking. Additional 2 hr only $2.00. admission after 6:00 PM. parking $3.00 with AMC validation. µ WEST LOS ANGELES The Bridge Cinema De Lux 310/568-3375 µ SANTA MONICA £ µ HOLLYWOOD ArcLight Cinemas µ WEST LOS ANGELES The Landmark Mann Criterion 6 at the Dome 323/464-4226 at W. Pico & Westwood 310/281-8233 µ SHERMAN OAKS ArcLight Cinemas At the 4 hours validated parking -$2 310/248-MANN #019 www.landmarktheatres.com FREE PARKING Sherman Oaks Galleria 818/501-0753

AND AT A THEATER NEAR YOU - CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR LISTINGS

bbeeffoorhhoowwiinngg!! SS

Friday & Saturday July 18 & 19 @ 12 Midnight

LAEMMLE’S SUNSET 5 8000 Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 323-848-3500

NO PASSES, COUPONS, GROUP ACTIVITY TICKETS OR VIP TICKETS ACCEPTED.

µ UNIVERSAL CITY∂ µ WEST LOS ANGELES∂ ∂ IRVINE EDWARDS ∂ µ ANAHEIM RESORT IMAX® ∂ ONTARIO EDWARDS ∂ ∂ CATHEDRAL CITY∂ IMAX® THEATRE CityWalk Stadium 19 The Bridge Cinema De Lux IMAX® THEATRE THEATRE The Movie Experience Desert IMAX® The Ontario Palace with IMAX® IMAX® Theatre The Irvine Spectrum Theatre @ GardenWalk 800/FANDANGO #153 800/FANDANGO #707 310/568-3375 800/FANDANGO #140 714/399-0300 760/324-7333

BRUTAL MASSACRE

Own the DVD on July 22nd © 2008 Menafilms Inc. All RIghts Reserved.

JULY 17-23, 2008 29 LACITYBEAT

www.anchorbayent.com

Distributed by

C8&<

BITTER:SWEET MORSELS

DLJ@:

BY GABRIELLE PALUCH

B

UPCOMING IN-STORES at AMOEBA! All shows are FREE and ALL AGES! For full calendar of events visit: AMOEBA.COM

&>8/,A B >6A B 8998

ANDY VOTEL

Amoeba’s Sunday World Wide Underground DJ series welcomes a very special guest: The vinyl-vulture, recording artist and record producer Andy Votel (Twisted Nerve/B-Music/Finders Keepers). His new Turkish-psych compilation, Ersen, is out now!

!98/,A B >6A B :7

itter:Sweet is kicking off its second tour with a show at El Rey Theatre Friday, in conjunction with the release of sophomore album Drama under the Quango label. This trip-hop group began as a duo when Kiran Shahani, formerly of Supreme Beings of Leisure, and Shana Halligan, daughter of a member of Blood, Sweat & Tears, met on Craigslist – and here you thought Craigslist was for losers and cons. “It was a rock bottom move to answer that ad,â€? Halligan says, “but I’m glad I did. It’s the most natural, enjoyable collaboration and music-making process I’ve ever been involved with.â€? The sound is a lot more Zero 7 than Blood, Sweat & Tears, and the songs are layered and rich. In a recent show at the Disney Concert Hall, they featured a complete strings section – and a piano performance by Halligan’s father. Though the two carry a lot of past musical baggage into this group, it hasn’t put a damper on this project. “I put my heart and soul into Supreme Beings of Leisure,â€? Shahani says, “so of course it’s going to follow me a little.â€? Although they’ve hit the road only once before, the band’s had a large amount of commercial success in television and on the Internet, with songs featured in TV shows like Lipstick Jungle, while the new album was the No. 1 seller on iTunes last week and will be featured at Starbucks stores nationwide. It’s an appropriate venue for an album like this, which on first listen can sound like something you’ve heard before, and maybe a little prosaic. As is typical of recent trends in the music industry, MySpace has proved a powerful tool for getting the music out to the public, as opposed to the traditional method of playing live shows on the road. The band has even started a street team campaign, offering fans the chance to hand out flyers and promotional CDs, and to “flirt with as many people as possible, using Bitter:Sweet as your excuse.â€? KISS Army, anyone? Both Shahani and Halligan feel their music is sexy and beautiful (best for making babies and best experienced live – but not both at once). The new album is no great departure from the last, but it is evident that the band is more willing to experiment now that it’s backed with fuller production, and has certainly developed musically. Tracks like “The Bombâ€? have pop-single power, and Halligan has described the new album as more “epicâ€? with songs that are “pretty powerful,â€? also containing more crossovers into rock. Nevertheless, Bitter:Sweet’s sound remains chilled out, as one might expect from a band playing the Chillout Festival in Istanbul with Morcheeba.âœś Friday at the El Rey Theatre. 5515 Wilshire Blvd., Miracle Mile, theelrey.com.

DUKE SPIRIT

FREE 2-SONG LIVE EP WITH PURCHASE OF NEPTUNE CD (WHILE SUPPLIES LAST, DAY OF IN-STORE ONLY). â€œâ€Ś the signposts of Sonic Youth, Pixies, et al can be glimpsed as the music hurtles along, but it’s blindingly obvious they’ve been digging deep to transcend those influences, to find their true voice, indeed, their true spirit.â€? – BBC.com Playing July 17th at The Hammer Museum & July 20th at the Download Festival (Gibson Amphitheater.)

&,=>;/,A B >2><= B :7

CHARITY AUCTION

W/ HOST BRENTLY HEILBRON! The first Saturday of every month, Amoeba has a good time and raises money for great causes!

&>8/,A B >2><= B :7

NOMO

Their new CD Ghost Rock is out now on Ubiquity. “This Detroit-area Afrobeat band makes huge strides on its second album... The funky music of Fela Kuti remains NOMO’s bedrock, but the octet now carefully integrates soul riffs, jazz-flavored solos, and more instruments� — Chicago Reader Playing live at Spaceland later that night!

* + & '& &39: =9 =30 <9>8/< 91 =30 1;0<30<= -0,=< 19; % 0?0;A @005

! " Rotating B * " & +& B $! styles on the 1s & 2s! % &#" " B % +& B $! DJ adventures curated by DJ JUN!

WORLD WIDE UNDERGROUND &(" +& B "##" Guest DJs curated by GOMEZ COMES ALIVE! July 20th - DJ Drez Indian Music

AMOEBA MUSIC

&("& ' )

!#" & ' ! $! B &(" ! $!

BUY-SELL-TRADE: CDS, LPS, DVDS, VIDEOS, LASERS, TAPES, $#&' %& & & ! !#% !( !( !#%

AMOEBA.COM

FREE PARKING AT THE ARCLIGHT GARAGE! 790-, ?,64/,=0< 19; ,8 39>; 91 :,;5482 @4=3 :>;.3,<0

Beck Modern Guilt (Interscope) As always with Beck, engagement with this haul of brilliantly trendy genre rags and tonal bones depends upon your degree of painful alienation from the world outside. The rock critocracy is even now busy chewing over this eighth album for whatever juice of Relevance licks their tongues and the Guardian bitches feelingly about the want of a single, but so what? It isn’t like Beck’s magpie act makes him any kind of Generational Voice and the appropriation of DJ Danger Mouse as collaborator for this 10-track rummage through firstgen U.K. psychedelia is in the spirit of a second-story man selecting a crowbar with finical care. This stuff will probably seem awe-inspiringly original to heathens unfamiliar with Blossom Toes, Procol Harum or Mighty Baby, but that’s rather the point, I suspect. Yes, that’s Chan Marshall of Cat Power on “Walls,� yes, this LP represents the end of Beck’s contractual obligation and, yes, I think the whole Beck thing is about over. –Ron Garmon

Musee Mecanique Hold This Ghost (Frog Stand) This band is named after a museum (of the same name) housing a huge collection of antique arcade games and mechanically operated musical instruments. Included in the collection is the downright bone-chilling “Laffing Sal,� a septuagenarian animatronic “greeter� that makes Chuckie look charming. Hold This Ghost has a diverse, multifaceted sound, but Musee’s fascination with the oddly chilling funhouse aesthetic bleeds through frequently, and so much the better; spineprickling moments like these help keep the sound freshly unsettling. Near the beginning of the album, the tinny tink of anachronistic toys, the minty ding of tubular bells, and the tender, crystalline, falsetto vocals transport the listener to a po-mo indie psych carnival where creepy synthesizer winds rattle through PVC trees. The musical milieu of “The Propellors,� for instance, is a smooth puree of the epically sweeping soundscapes of Pink Floyd and the catchier acid-indie sensibilities of the Flaming Lips. Tempering the midway whimsy is

a host of more understated instrumentation. Solemn steel guitars bleed beneath sparse acoustic picking in the bleary track “Fits and Starts�; a triumphantly long-winded accordion sighs with wise melancholy and dissolves into a pool of tragically upbeat strum ’n’ bass in “Sleep in Our Clothes�; there’s even a subtle nod to dubstep in “Nothing Glorious,� with its shivering soft synth leads and snowy, long-bowed string notes. As a whole, Hold This Ghost is a trippy carousel of alternative western, straight-ahead indie rock, neo-psychedelia and classical sauce; a solid album evoking witching-hour creeping through abandoned fairgrounds. –Daniel Stainkamp

The Black Ghosts s/t (Southern Fried) This album triggers my Attention Deficit Disorder bigtime. As is common in this nouveau-electropop genre, the Black Ghosts sell electronic nostalgia draped in dark Romantic design (as in 19th century, not Harlequin), which looks bitchen on the CD cover/ MySpace page, but is somewhat incongruent with their milquetoast sound. I saw The Black Ghosts at a Vice magazine/Colt 45-sponsored promo night, where they were giving away, you guessed it, free Colt 45. Uncanny! Apparently that stuff has some sort of anti-dancing chemical (one that also makes people smell like beer) because no one could be bothered to do much more than shift their weight in a quasi-rhythmic manner. Scenesters be damned: Their spinning was inspired, and the Black Ghosts mixtape stayed in my car stereo for weeks (there’s a fantastic remix of Frankmusik’s “Three Little Words� on it). As for this release, it’s not that it’s bad. I really should like it, much like I should like peanut butter banana and brie sandwiches. I like all the individual ingredients, but (as with any balanced meal) if there’s no Cholula, it just tastes sorta bland. To describe it another way, this record sounds like something to play in the early afternoon, during that awful time when you still have a hangover, but it’s not yet a socially acceptable hour to start mixing gin into your electrolyte replacement beverage. To review: The Black Ghosts’ album needs Cholula; go get their mixtape

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

instead; Colt 45 is not a “dance drug�; and finally, never use grape-flavored Gatorade as a mixer, you’re better off with the kind that tastes like “power�; oooh, look, a squirrel! –Ramie Becker

The United States of America s/t (Sundazed) Joseph Byrd was a Kentucky-born, Cage-besotted academic musician associated with the FLUXUS movement and othersuch avant-art before helming this well-remembered, oft-bootlegged 1968 excursion into post-Sgt. Pepper psychedelia. The US of A’s sole album is an audacious weld of satire, leftist politics, otherworldly meander and proto-noise pop that ranks with such foundational psych as A Saucerful of Secrets and Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus. Among many innovations was Byrd’s deployment of an early ring modulator, a newfangled Frankensteinian contraption then the toy of a few chartered boffins like Beaver & Krause. American experimental psych of the period tended toward exquisite jazzy noodling (Silver Apples), novelty dumbness (Lothar & the Hand People), or punky earscrape (Fifty Foot Hose), but Byrd’s high-art neoclassicism crackled with enough exemplary razzle-dazzle to (barely) dent the Top 200 Album chart, quite a feat at the height of the rock LP era. The band spent most of its brief life in L.A., toured little, played the Fillmore East, and dissolved in the usual ego-bath. Singer Dorothy Moskowitz landed in Country Joe & the Fish, while the main man went on to form Joe Byrd and the Field Hippies, whose The American Metaphysical Circus was a spacier-still exercise in Great Society gothique and probably the greatest still-obscure rock album of the late-1960s. In 1996, Portishead thanked the USA for inspiring “Half Day Closing� off the former’s eponymous second album. –Ron Garmon

'

& %

) (

$

5 B L O WO U T S A L E TH

A N N I V E R S A RY

NOW T H RO U GH M ON DAY J U LY 2 1 ST

"

'% %

892-/. /::

! " #

'% ( !*

892-/. /::

'% ( %

892-/. /::

"& $ $ ! %

! ) '% % " ! ' ! % ( % ( !* " & %

# '% > % ( "% ( !* '%& > !" # $%& ' () *+ , ,

"!- . ,+/, " 0! # $%& '1 1) *1/ /1//

" 21 3"45 ! # $%& '*,*) /+( 112(

6" -6 "% 4 7 "! 88"!& ! - "% -" 7& "" !" " 8 ! %" & 9 4" 5! "% "- 8!""&

(/6;<9+ 4=.

%1/95+6 "+3:

,47-3 70 )77.5+6

? "8/6 76 %+; +5 85 %<6 !776 85

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

CLUBLAND

C8&<

HOLLYWOOD BOWL PART OF YOUR LIFE

-' )&

FEIST SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS PACIFIKA $ * (-*, 4;>? -:-05-: 5:051 =;/7>?-= 15>? 41-085:1> ?45> 219-81 <;B1=4;@>1 85:1@< ?4-? -8>; 5:/8@01> ?41 2@:7G:G>;@8 ;2 (4-=;: ;:1> -:0 &-/5257-G> 181/?=;:5/ &1=@A5-: 3=;;A1>

1:1=;@>8D ><;:>;=10 .D +-#@ #105- ><;:>;=> ! '+ " +1178D

)&

CHRIS BOTTI

& HOLLYWOOD BOWL ORCHESTRA CASSANDRA WILSON )41 /;:?19<;=-=D 6-EE <;< ?=@9<1?1= .=5:3> 45> =;9-:?5/ /8->>5/-88D 5:><5=10 >;@:0> ?; ?41 ;B8 2;= -: 1A1:5:3 ;2 8@>4 918;051> -:0 59<=;A5>-?5;:>

"1C@> &->>5;:-?1 &1=2;=9-:/1 #105- ><;:>;= )41 +-A1

-' )&

GNARLS BARKLEY FALLOU DIENG DEERHOOF

*,# *$'$ 4;>? &>D/410185/ >;@8 <41:;9> :-=8> -=781D >4-=1 ?41 .588 B5?4 =5>5:3 (1:13-81>1 >?-= -88;@ 51:3 5:051 =;/7 2=11 2;=9 <458;>;<41=> 11=4;;2 ;<1: 1:1=;@>8D ><;:>;=10 .D +-#@ #105- ><;:>;=> ! '+ ") ' #-3-E5:1

*$ , )&

FROM THE CREATORS OF SPAMALOT

ERIC IDLE IN

NOT THE MESSIAH (HE’S A VERY NAUGHTY BOY)

(+ '" % + #$%# *&('$ (#' - * 1 /;:0@/?;= :><5=10 .D -:018G> Messiah -:0 #;:?D &D?4;: > 458-=5;@> -88 ?591 2-A;=5?1 Life of Brian =5/ 081 >?=571> -3-5: B5?4 - B5808D 1:?1=?-5:5:3 /;95/ ;=-?;=5; 21-?@=5:3 2@88 ;=/41>?=- - /4;=@> .-3<5<1=> -:0 - >411< 50185?D :A1>?91:?> @?@=1(?-31 ;:/1=? #105- ><;:>;= ! )

(%%0.(( (.% (& 2

2 (.% (/ !!$ =;@<>

F =?5>?> -:0 0-?1> >@.61/? ?; /4-:31 !$%+ %' ,%* % &-=75:3 >4@??81 A1:@1 <;85/51> ;88DB;;0 ;B8 /;9 &-=7 '501

NIPPLES AT THE KNIT CITY HAUL: The Knitting Factory zoning hearing at City Hall should be over by the time this hits the street on Thursday, but since the web edition drops Wednesday, I can still call rockers able to stand and carry a lung to Room 1020 at 10 a.m. After talking to VP Morgan Margolis last week, I decided to give the brisk and efficient folk at Los Angeles Office of Zoning Administration their innings and spent a few minutes with two giant folders on the venue’s Conditional Use Permit case. The smoking gun of the case may well be the petition sent in by Bart Zacks, local security guard and self-elected goad of the rock gentry at the Knit. The petition accuses the venue of being a longstanding public nuisance that attracts “juvenile delinquentsâ€? to that end of Hollywood Boulevard. These vermin (along with others of similar kidney) engage in unsightly bouts of “public drinking, drug use, fighting, urination, defecation, vomiting, graffiti and harassment of innocent bystandersâ€? in and around the premises. It was signed by 31 locals (19 of them giving the same two addresses) attesting to these horrors. Attached was also a prĂŠcis of police activity in the area for the past three years – ordinary Boulevard offenses like sidewalk vending, boozing in public, and vandalism bumping chockablock with brawls, incitement to riot, and the occasional assaults on cops. Specific incidents these terse memos reference aren’t elaborated upon, but no conceivable negative spin can be put on full-color pics of fucking awesome chix offering up nips and booties to the camera with true rockerbaby abandon at Adult Media Play’s show last year. They’re magnificent, every one. The petition also alleges the Knit somehow put being a live rock ’n’ roll venue over on zoners and the ’hood, as a multi-stage performance venue running huge newspaper ads can’t possibly be the “upscale restaurantâ€? it’s supposedly supposed to be. The photos of neglected grills and place settings looks like the Nikon exertions of someone trying to document a hallucination. City inspectors, who made detailed notes of every contact with the club, visited in mid-May of last year with a “security officerâ€? across the street (possibly Zacks) who complained of patrons spraying piss. The inspectors took care to note all the males “dressed in black color and punk rocker style.â€? Sgt. Ronald Crump of the West Los Angeles Vice Squad weighed in with the usual tumid commentary re: breasts, nipple-pinching, and fingers in buttocks at the intriguing-sounding XXX party aforementioned and I found myself irritated as a critic that he never asserted presence or absence of lube. A GIRL NAMED MOOBY: Though Plump was some hours distant, I was in Pasadena early Saturday night to visit a new ladyfriend, wandered away into an already blissful evening, lit the kush fantastic, got lost twice, yet loped at last into a raucous and very loud party. The White Moon Dreams Warehouse is hell and gone from Pasadena’s starchier precincts, but my friend Mooby was punctiliously correct in the pasties she’d MacGyvered out of black duct tape. A dark and puckish beauty, Mooby wriggled on my lap much of the night, fending off attention from over-friendly, overdressed males with a mournful, Russian-accented “Ees all in your mind.â€? Most of the L.A. Burner party elite was off at the Elysium festival in the wilds of northeast San Diego County, but enough remained to loosen up the Vanguard refugees crowding the event. The electro-techno-house-breakstuff went on ’til 5 a.m. or until sunlight beamed on the two of us collapsed on a sofa, the last patrons left as the cleanup crew pushed brooms, proggy strings swelled out of the DJ deck, and only dust motes danced in the dawn’s filmy light. BUY MY PANTIES: The riotous Monday nights staged by Sean Carnage were a mainstay at the Il Corral during those few charmed months the quasi-underground venue deafened neighbors in fashionable Koreawood. The Corral kids have transferred ops out to the USC warehouse maze, renamed themselves Zero-Point, and throw their last event next Saturday night, unlikely victims of a noise ban. Meanwhile, skronk impresario Carnage soldiers on at Pehrspace, a onetime officeblock secreted in the back of a tiny strip-mall in the downtown side of Echo Park, where I discovered him Monday last. Two bands hadn’t shown – something Carnage avowed hadn’t happened in at least “a zillion yearsâ€? – but none of the 30-odd hipsters clumped outside seemed to mind, and any incipient frustrations could be taken out on Zaq Landsberg’s hypertrophied piĂąata. “You whack it and it craps one piece of candy at a time,â€? Sean marveled, as Portland’s Here Comes a Big Black Cloud!! loaded and plugged in. Dense sheets of advanced art-noize ensued, out of which swaggered a series of familiar ole blooz riffs just like Jeff Beck used to emit. The room heaved and roiled in the time-hallowed way, as some sweet one in a knit minidress began a frug right out of The T.A.M.I. Show, and anon came a cover of Bo Diddley’s “Who Do You Love?â€? This traditionalist vibe appeared to briefly unhinge one of the lovably dorky guitarists, who gestured to the merch table and spieled, “We got CDs, tapes, panties! They could be yours!â€? –Ron Garmon

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

,7( 8(.. ,7( 1..:811' 4+122,0* /$35,0,4 (9&,5(/(05

3($5 1..:811' 1&$5,10 /1/(054 )31/ 1..:8111' ,*+.$0' +( 1..:811' 18. 604(5 ",0( 1..:811' $3/(3<4 $3-(5 (531 13(

" #

('311/ ; $5+ from ('311/ ; $5+ from ('311/ ; $5+ (0 from ; 2$3-.,0* 8,//,0* 11. ; (0(3164 &.14(5 42$&( ; .(7$513 ; 6%5(33$0($0 $3-,0* ; 3,7$5( $.&10,(4 ; (053$. ($5 ,3 ; 163 1635(4: $531. ; 0 ,5( $60'3: ; $%.( ($': ; .. !5,.,5,(4 0&.6'('

%$ ! % # " & %$

"

PLANNING YOUR NEXT EVENT

COAST TO COAST

DJ Disco DJ Ron C DJ G-Mix Mike Lorenzo The D.O.C. Smooth Mellow Dee

BROOKLYN to BEVERLY HILLS

the Latest in URBAN CLOTHING

CUSTOM SUITS, FLY GEAR, PREMIUM DENIM, FOOTWEAR, HANDBAGS.

...BIRTHDAY PARTY, WEDDING, COMPANY FUNCTION ETC. ...CONSIDER THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS, HAPPY CUSTOMERS INCLUDE: PLAYBOY MANSION, HOLLYWOOD BLACK FILM FESTIVAL, AND THE VICEROY HOTEL, JUST TO NAME A FEW SOUND & LIGHTING RENTALS AVAILABLE

WWW.TAGGTEAMDJS.COM TAGGTEAMDJS@YAHOO.COM

323.299.3986 OR 310.927.8137

Always Looking for New Independent Designers

5003 W. Pico Blvd., L.A., 90019 { ACROSS

FROM ROSCOE ’ S CHICKEN AND WAFFLES }

323.230.5431 15% OFF PURCHASES with mention of this ad

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

NIGHTBEAT

WOLF PARADE

Somewhere at the nexus of ’70s art rock and ’80s alternative/indie lies Montreal’s Wolf Parade, with the band’s clearly enunciated lyrics and nicely rocking backbeat often overlooked in the sheaf of glowing reviews afforded the group’s pair of albums: 2005’s Apologies to the Queen Mary and this year’s At Mount Zoomer. The collage artwork found on the discs is somewhat off-putting and arch, but once that hurdle’s leapt, the music is nothing but ingratiatingly warm. As regards Mount Zoomer, an album said to have been assembled from experimental jams, the results are frighteningly cohesive and quite listenable, even after umpteen plays. –Joshua Sindell

Catts & Doggs

1 ,$$ )''%"& $'& 1 $$ +,) $ + '' * ."+! ,$$ & ' '$"*+" % " * 1 '& ) ,$ " + + %* 1 &'.$ $ + ."+! / $$ &+ )-" 1 We Deliver!

grooming with this ad. exp. 7/31/08

2833 Hyperion Ave. "$- ) # 1

Fri.-Sat., with Listening Party, at the Music Box @ Fonda, 6126 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, (323) 930-7100, henryfondatheater.com.

Thursday, July 17

THIS WEEK’S HIGHLIGHTS

Camp Freddy. Benefit performance for the medical bills of a friend. Viper Room, West Hollywood, viperroom.com. The Duke Spirit. Glamorous, clangorous indie rock from these Londoners. With Io Echo. Hammer Museum, Westwood, www.hammer.ucla.edu. Jason Falkner. The power-pop true believer performs with a full band. Spaceland, Silver Lake, clubspaceland.com. Fall Out Boy. “Pinkapalooza� concert sponsored by Victoria’s Secret. Santa Monica Pier, free, twilightdance.org. The Wailers, Eek a Mouse, Pato Banton. Reggae superstars perform at the O.C. Fair. Pacific Amphitheatre, Costa Mesa, ocfair.com/pa.

Friday, July 18

Bitter:Sweet. Jazzy lusciousness from these lovers of ’60s bossa nova sounds. El Rey Theatre, Miracle Mile, theelrey.com. Black Elk, 400 Blows. A meeting of angry, heavy minds, L.A.’s 400 Blows and Portland’s Black Elk will blow out plenty of eardrums. Alex’s Bar, Long Beach, alexsbar.com. Darker My Love. Neo-psychedelic, but very aggro, fuzz-rawk. The Echo, Echo Park, attheecho.com. Earlimart. Purveyors of fine, upbeat alt-pop you can take home to mom. Spaceland. Adam Marsland’s Chaos Band. Former Cockeyed Ghost frontman and pure pop devotee holds court. Brennan’s Pub, Marina del Rey, brennanspub-la.com. Powder. Cartoonish, sexy rockers with a devoted local following. Key Club, West Hollywood, keyclub. com. Rooney. The tuneful ladies’ men are out promoting last year’s Calling the World. With Locksley, and the Bridges. House of Blues Sunset Strip, West Hollywood, hob.com. The Wallflowers, Train. Fresh off his new solo album, Jakob Dylan reunites with his band. Plus FM radio-friendly songsmiths Train. Pacific Amphitheatre.

Saturday, July 19

Boys Like Girls, Good Charlotte, Metro Station, The Maine. Punk-pop chart-stormers team for the benefit of the world’s youth. The Wiltern, Los Angeles, livenation.com. Fergie. The Duchess herself goes Pea-less. Pacific Amphitheatre. HARD Summer Festival with N*E*R*D, MSTRKRFT, Spank Rock, Kid Sister, more. Multi-act bill featuring top DJs, hip-hop and electronic dance artists. Shrine Expo Center, Exposition Park. Helms Alee. Seattle grunge trio about to drop first album on Hydra Head Records. Relax Bar, Hollywood, myspace.com/relaxbar. Jimmy Eat World, Dear and the Headlights. Arizona’s kings of emo pop Jimmy Eat World team with fast-rising Dear and the Headlights. Avalon Hollywood. Also Sun. Kill Hannah. The hard-touring Chicago rockers are starting to see big crowds for their efforts. With synthesizer-augmented bands the Medic Droid, Innerpartysystem, and the White Tie Affair. El Rey Theatre. Yo! Majesty. Female hip-hop duo from Florida causing much ruckus. The Troubadour.

Sunday, July 20

Download Festival 2008 with the Jesus and Mary Chain, Gang of Four, Brand New, Mutemath, Yeasayer, Ghostland Observatory, M83, Caribou, Mates of State, a dozen others. Whew! Alternative rock bands for almost every ear. Gibson Amphitheatre, Universal City, livenation.com. Dropkick Murphys, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Irish punks unite! (Boo Celtics!) Pacific Amphitheatre. Feist, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Pacifika. This salute to women who rock unites Canadian indie superstar Feist, the funk/soul groove of Jones and her band, and the Latin rhythms of Peruvian group Pacifika. Hollywood Bowl, Hollywood, hollywoodbowl.com. Jon Rauhouse Sextet. Pedal-steel guitar pioneer Rauhouse leads an accomplished group. Safari Sam’s, Hollywood, safari-sams.com.

Monday, July 21

Blacklist Union, Steel Panther. Hollywood hard rockers Blacklist Union promote debut disc Breakin’ Bread with the Devil; plus heavy-metal comedians Steel Panther. Key Club. Candlebox. Seattle also-rans attempt a comeback. Viper Room. Jail Weddings, The Moon Upstairs, Thee Makeout Party, Weave. Great free show with four rising bands, all with individual takes on pop, indie-rock, and roots music. Recommended. The Echo. Princeton. Echo Park-based trio Princeton melds chamber pop and folk in an ear-pleasing way. Silverlake Lounge, Silver Lake, foldsilverlake.com.

Tuesday, July 22

Jay Brannan. Shortbus actor Brannan showcases songs from his confessional Goddamned album. With Annie Stela. El Rey Theatre. James McMurtry. The wise Texas-bred singer-guitarist recently released Just Us Kids, chock-full of laconic observations and persuasive blues licks. The Troubadour. Stray Cats. Phantom, Rocker, and Setzer play their only U.S. show for 2008 ‌ and it’s in SoCal! With Joe Ely, and Hot Rod Lincoln. Pacific Amphitheatre.

Wednesday, July 23

Cute Is What We Aim For. Buffalo pop-punkers age slightly and gracefully on new disc Rotation. The Troubadour. Hercules and Love Affair. New York electro-dance outfit gets those hipsters’ hips shaking. The Echo. State Radio, Rose Hill Drive. Alt-rock with a political edge from Massachusetts’s State Radio; joined tonight by melodic Colorado trio Rose Hill Drive. House of Blues Sunset Strip. Steely Dan. The arrangements seem to be getting quieter, more intricate. The Dan abides. Nokia Theatre/LA Live, downtown L.A., nokiatheatrelalive.com.

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

C8&<

STEPS Commandments from the Dance Commander

:C8JJ@:8C

Get Naked No, this isn’t a Craigslist proposition ‌ it’s art, people! In its continued exploration of violence, sensuality, and intimacy related to the male-gendered body, Dandelion Dance Theater presents Testiculish and other adventures through the underbelly. On July 14, this Bay Area-based company begins a two-week residency at Highways that includes a workshop open to the public entitled “Healing Body Image Through Naked Dance,â€? which is just what it sounds like. Participants will then have the chance to perform with the company during excerpts from ANNICA, Dandelion’s widely acclaimed work from the ongoing “Undressed Project.â€? The workshop takes place July 14 and 21, 7-9 p.m., and the performances of Testiculish‌/ANNICA are July 17-26, at Highways Performance Space, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica, (310) 315-1459. highwaysperformance.org. Hang Out with Circus Freaks Cirque Berzerk, the circus-on-psychedelics that your mother should have warned you about, presents BENEATH, a visual and aural extravaganza of truly big-top proportions, July 24-27. Cirque Berzerk performs in its very own full-size circus tent, mounted in the Los Angeles State Historic Park in the heart of downtown L.A. Punk-rock clowns, fire breathers/dancers, dizzying aerial acts, scintillating cabaret numbers, and the stilt-walkers that dreams/nightmares are made of. Arrive early to picnic and enjoy a decorated beer and wine garden from 6 p.m., with performances at 8:30 p.m. 1245 N. Spring St., downtown, (213) 448-3507. cirquebezerk.com. Rekindle your Love/Hate Relationship It’s true, having a relationship with contemporary dance performances can be as harrowingly bipolar as that guy you met on the Personals. Think of these next two performances as highly recommended blind dates, set up by that one friend –

the only one – who has really great taste in significant others. Described as “Looney Tunes comedy meets magic realist mystery,� Rachel Lincoln and Leslie Seiters bring their duet An Attic, An Exit to the Unknown Theater, combining precise movement, rigging, and soundscaping to create a truly intimate spectacle. Performances are July 17-July 27, Thurs.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 6 p.m., at 1110 Seward St., L.A., (323) 466-7781. www.unknowntheater.com. Drip with Feminine Complexity On August 15 and 16, Sue Roginski curates Spill, Splash, and Splendor. Four dance artists – Alison Bory, Cynthia Lee, Rosie Trump, and Sadie Weinburg – compose pieces “dripping with feminine complexity� and reflexive wit. Dealing with issues of romance, gendered nostalgia, and representations of women, Spill showcases some of the best emerging choreographers in SoCal. Highways, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica, (310) 315-1459. highwaysperformance.org. Contribute to the Gentrification of Hip Hop (Kidding!) The Culture Shock Los Angeles Dance Troupe rocks the Ford Amphitheater July 25, taking a hip-hop twist on Ray Bradbury’s dystopic classic Fahrenheit 451. In A Beautiful Struggle, Culture Shock works out creative impulse under censorship. All graduate student sarcasm aside, this looks to be a dynamic display of empowering diversity. 8 p.m. 2580 Cahuenga Blvd. East, Hollywood, (323) 461-3673. fordamphitheater.org, cultureshockdance.org. Succumb to your Inner Bourgeois Anachronism Lucent Dossier Vaudeville Cirque, purveyor of all things exotic and untimely, continues its bi-monthly residency at downtown’s swankiest adaptive reuse project, The Edison. Lucent’s interactive performance art based in a fin-de-siecle bohemian dreamworld fits like a jeweled glove on The Edison’s elegant interior design. (Tip: this is possibly one of the most impressive date-night ideas in the Los Angeles area.) Check the dress code at edisondowntown.com for detailed instructions. July 23 and Aug. 6, 9 p.m. 108 W 2nd St., downtown, (213) 613-0000. lucentdossier.com. --Ramie Becker

SPEEDY TECH LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN

We Service:

BY DONNA PERLMUTTER

F

inally, finally! Hollywood Bowl got handed back to the Los Angeles Philharmonic, once the exclusive resident of our summertime retreat in the Cahuenga Pass – which, by the way, is now open to high-volume venue-sharing. Yes, after all the Bugs Bunny you might want in a lifetime, and the Beatles and Bossa Nova and all the other perfectly enticing entertainments that might catch your imagination, there it was: the city’s glamorous symphony orchestra, resplendent on the stage under the stars – and mixed with that rarity, a sprinkling, ever so brief, of big, fat raindrops! Just in time, the classical music season got underway last week with an opening that had fare as festive as the elaborate picnic spreads of its box-seated patrons. What’s more, there was a new bandmaster for the Phil’s summer soirĂŠes: one Bramwell Tovey, a warmly spontaneous, chatty Brit who is currently the fave among al fresco musicseekers both here and in New York. Speaking about his co-commissioned piece “Urban Runway,â€? which he named for the fashion folk of Rodeo Drive and Madison Avenue, he bantered smartly about these coastal cultures on either side of the fly-over states. What the overture-length work turned out to be was a perky little dalliance with some of this-a, some of that-a, along with sweetly melodic, Gershwin-esque riffs, and gently spiky punctuations that might frame a ’50s Hollywood musical comedy. But what came across overall – as it invariably does on that first dive into outdoor acoustics attempting naturalness – is the sense of listening to a small table radio ... from a distance! Yes, folks, until our ears start adapting from concert-hall fidelity and until the Bowl’s sound engineers get a finer tuning, the non-impact can trigger a big huh? This time there was lots of tinny treble and missing bass – at least for Strauss’s tone poem “Don Juan,â€? which, with its small, whimsical ending, seemed like nothing more than a fizzle. Tovey’s spoken build-up of the eponymous womanizer depicted in the mu-

sic turned out to be distinctly underpowered. But despair not, because over these last few years the Bowl has instituted giant screens that pan, format-style, across various soloists in the orchestra. So when oboist Marion Arthur Kuszyk came into her moment, quite deserving of a close-up, the camera picked up an amazingly total-body performance – the bespectacled blonde with the short bob undulated and spiraled into the music’s expressive focus, easily compensating then for the orchestral sound deficit. After intermission, though, with the Pacific Chorale and Los Angeles Children’s Chorus filling the volume gap, Tovey launched into Carl Orff ’s “Carmina Burana,â€? that hourlong scenic cantata with its youthful innocents’ erotic awakenings sung in vulgate Latin and middle high German. Ooh, is it full of too- oft-repeated primal, rhythmic chugging, those same passages of primal, rhythmic chugging over and over, alternated with repetitions of sweet lyric outpourings from high virginal choirs and a few vocal soloists? Just guess. When the work’s strains are heard echoing through dormitory hallways, a few minutes at a time – okay. When pop culture appropriates the score in TV ads and movies, a few bars here, a few bars there – okay. But all in one consolidated dose? Help. If ever there were a case for editing and truncating, this is it. Even Bruckner’s works came in for edits. Why not Orff ’s? None of this detracted from Tovey’s fully engaged way with the blockbuster, or the commanding performance by baritone Eugene Chan, or the ecstatic one by Cyndia Sieden, whose high pure voice capped the whole thing, her angelic countenance on screen, her blonde locks wafting in the breeze. You see, the Bowl is really an entertainment conglomerate. Maybe you’ll get some moments of captivating music-making, but it’s the mix of summer nights in the open air, wine-sipping, and good-time ambience that draws people – many who, believe it or not, never set foot in a concert hall. âœś

Toshiba Compaq Hewlett Packard

Apple iMac iBook Dell & More

323.933.4400 www.speedytech.com

9 9 DATA RECOVERY SPECIALIST FAST ON-SITE SERVICE AVAILABLE

5217 Wilshire Blvd. #5 # 3'# 9 04 /('-'4 Major Credit Cards Accepted

LITTLE JACKIE “THE STOOP�

S-CURVE

Bramwell Tovey takes on the Bowl

NEC SONY IBM Canon Epson

Blend the old-school R&B sound with a quirky hybrid of hip-hop pop and you get Little Jackie, the creation of genre-defying singersongwriter Imani Coppola and multi-instrumentalist Adam Pallin. With a nod to the soulful Motown rhythms of the past, Coppola has crafted an album of musical sugar and spice, filled with sweet saccharine-tinged melodies and spicy, bold commentaries. Features the first single, "The World Should Revolve Around Me."

CLASSIC CRIME “THE SILVER CHORD�

The Classic Crime's sophomore release, "The Silver Chord," threatens to change lives in such a way with the sheer expanse of its scope. From those fighting against injustice to those who stood up for the folks who don't fit in, dying for one's beliefs or one's art is the Classic Crime. Catch the Classic Crime on The Warped Tour this summer - August 17th at the Home Depot Center

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Store Hours: Mon.-Thurs. 10am-9pm 0' 2 + .+ 9 3, + .+

TOOTH & NAIL

CACOPHONY ON CAHUENGA

C8&<

Terry Cannon

✺ I;

DEGREE

B

a sore subject for him the past 22 years. It’s 50-50 whether he’s coming down or not. I’m cautiously optimistic, and we’re in communication, but this isn’t the kind of thing he’s comfortable doing. He threw out the first pitch this year at the Boston home opener, and we hope that isn’t an aberration. We’ll find out hopefully this week as he arranges his schedule. We’ve got all kinds of players in the Shrine – guys like Curt Flood, who was a pioneer in the economic rights of baseball players, and we’re honoring Emmett Ashford this year, the first AfricanAmerican umpire in organized baseball. In the past we’ve honored several women, like Pam Postema, who spent 13 years in the minors, six in AAA on the cusp of getting into the majors but wasn’t allowed to umpire. We’re always looking for outsiders, battlers against the baseball establishment – men like Dock Ellis, who fought the establishment and his own demons. They stood outside and, because of that, were never honored for what they’ve done. We started this in 1999, and I didn’t know this was going to be as successful as it was. I feel pretty good about what we’ve all accomplished in 10 years.

ased in Pasadena, the Baseball Reliquary is an ironic postmodern shrine dedicated to preserving ephemera of America’s most-hymned sport. An activity with a good deal more usable past than foreseeable future, baseball has been pressed into service as a yankdoodle metaphor so often, it was perhaps inevitable someone like folk artist Terry Cannon would decide to turn the game from national pastime to mock religion. The sanctum sanctorum of the Reliquary is the Shrine of the Eternals, an alt-Cooperstown honoring select mutant players for “the distinctiveness of play (good or bad); the uniqueness of character and personality; and the imprint that the individual has made on the baseball landscape.” As attested by the fresh trio to be inducted this Sunday, this approach to greatness privileges story over statistics, humanity over heroism, and Americana over ballyhoo; an evangel he here preaches to noted baseball skeptic Ron Garmon. L.A. CityBeat: I must admit to caring little for the noble game of baseball ... . Terry Cannon: We did a show a number of years ago in San Diego and it was at the main branch of the library. One of the librarians felt the way you do and e-mailed me that he saw baseball in a whole new way, since our art ties up the social history. Well, you’re presenting specimens of twisted, oddball humanity, which is much more appealing than any heroism, baseball or otherwise. There’s so much that’s bad about the modern game and so wonderful about the history of baseball. The Reliquary celebrates the past and the history and the time period. Most of the people on our board are artists and some describe the Reliquary as a large-scale traveling artwork all on its own.

– $25 a year – gets to vote, and the top three vote-getters are inducted. This is our 10th year and we’ve had 30 inductees.

Tell us about selection criteria for the Shrine of the Eternals ... . Where we differ significantly from the Hall of Fame is we throw the statistics and records right out the window. Our feeling is numbers don’t always tell the story. What we’re interested in is people who’ve impacted the game in some way who aren’t in the record books. We’re looking for people who’ve had distinctive careers, good or bad, and had some kind of impact on baseball culture. Every year we prepare a ballot consisting of 50 names and those are all over the board – we’ve had players, owners, writers, fictional characters – we had Charlie Brown on the list again this year – and covering the whole spectrum of baseball. Everyone who joins the Reliquary

Tell us about [2008 inductee] Bill Buckner. That’s a good example! The thing that stands out to me about him is as an example of the hardships players have had to overcome – considerable hardships in order to excel at the professional level. Jimmy Pearsall, who overcame mental illness; Jim Abbott, who overcame the birth defect of having a partial arm. Buckner’s in that class. Here was a guy who was one of the bravest ball players – he played 22 years on chronically bad ankles, won a batting title in the 1980s basically playing on one leg. Yet because of one miscue, one error, he’s forever stigmatized. No one’s able to assess his career fairly. He’d never get into the Hall of Fame, even though his stats are quite good.

Mighty Casey would make the grade at the Reliquary. There’s been a history of ball players like Buckner: Decades before him, there was Fred Merkle and Mickey Owen – guys known for basically one error. Our organization doesn’t think that’s right, and we want in a small way to correct that. If the Red Sox had won the seventh game of the 1986 World Series, nobody would be talking about Buckner – and he probably wouldn’t be in the Reliquary either! It was the same when we inducted Shoeless Joe Jackson a few years back. Baseball has blackballed him to this day, and in voting him in, the membership was saying we weren’t 100 percent sure if he was involved in the fix or not, but it was 75 years ago. One of the tough things we’re facing about the ceremony is getting Buckner to show up for it – he’s a very reclusive guy, and this has been

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

How did the ruling aesthetic of doomedbaseball-player-as-modern-saint come about, this importation of Middle Ages Christian iconography? I started out as a kid like every other kid, collecting baseball cards and putting them in the spokes of my bicycle wheels. Somewhere, I took a left turn and became interested in the history and folklore of baseball and began collecting eccentric items. In the mid-’90s, I decided to create some kind of venue to institutionalize this and create a traveling museum. I was never interested in the kinds of stuff museums would show – baseballs, bats and gloves. I was more interested in partially digested hot dogs and cigar butts. More like “curiosities and wonderments.” The idea was to display these sacred objects and have fun with the idea of sacred objects – sort of a sporting version of the Museum of Jurassic Technology. What David Wilson does is on a whole nother level from us, but in a baseball context what we do is similar – to create a museum more in line with the founding museums of the 17th and 18th centuries when the curator was almost a conjurer. To amaze and inspire and connect to important stories and traditions of baseball. There was a lot of resistance to us in the world of baseball, because most people in baseball don’t know anything about art. They think, “Why am I looking at Babe Ruth’s partially digested hot dog in a sacristy box?” ✶

C8&<

STAGE NOW PLAYING July 17

JK8>< Craig Schwartz

As You Like It. Kevin Kern’s production of Shakespeare’s comedy uses late-1960s-ish songs and costumes. Dressing melancholy Jaques (Eric Zivot) as a troubled Vietnam vet is a creative touch, and the play’s wrestling match is one of the most brutal I’ve seen, with the help of a couple of beanbag chairs wielded as weapons. But generally the ensemble looks drab and anonymous. Brief visual impersonations of ’70s political figures feel strained. A big unit set takes up too much of the stage, nearly erasing the play’s distinctions between court and countryside, and the layout of the venue can be distracting. Kingsmen Park, Cal Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks. (805) 493-3455. kingsmenshakespeare.org. Closes July 13. As You Like It. Ellen Geer’s alfresco staging is set in 19th century America – indicated primarily by songs and costumes. Touchstone looks and talks like a Shakespeare-quoting dandy from Mark Twain. Women play the traditionally male roles of Jaques and Adam, but Geer rejects any topical political gestures. The blithe mingling of blacks and whites in this Reconstruction-era forest is ignored as effortlessly as the plot’s many improbabilities. Instead, the era is used simply to point out the expansive universality of Shakespeare’s themes and language. As I sat in a dappled glen on a perfect Sunday afternoon, watching Willow Geer’s Rosalind and Mike Peebler’s Orlando, I was again reminded of just why this play is staged so often. Theatricum Botanicum, Topanga. Sunday afternoons. Only. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com. Closes Sept. 28. The Last Seder. A reunion of squabbling siblings and their mates at the home of their aging/dying parents is one of American drama’s most overused premises. Jennifer Maisel’s play is distinguishable from a dozen others primarily by the use of seder rituals to make dramatic points. Joseph Ruskin plays the dementia-stricken patriarch and Jenny O’Hara his indomitable wife. A few of the seder-related moments register strongly in Joseph Megel’s staging for Ensemble Studio Theatre-LA and Greenway Arts Alliance, but the play is afflicted by too many characters and too many short scenes in which two or three characters converse while everyone else freezes in place – a telltale sign of a wouldbe screenplay. Greenway Court Theatre, Fairfax district. (323) 655-7679. greenwayarts.org. Closes July 27.

LIFE BEGINS AT 8:30, SO LEAVE THE HOUSE AT SIX Our critic takes the Red Line BY DON SHIRLEY

T

he rise of gas prices could spell trouble for L.A’s far-flung theater scene. Audience members might decide that they can’t afford the drive on top of parking and tickets. But don’t abandon the idea of leaving your own turf in search of theatrical adventures. Many L.A. stages aren’t far from Metro rail stops. True, L.A. isn’t New York – with its compact eight miles in its tidy grid. Still, in such L.A. neighborhoods as downtown, Hollywood, NoHo, Pasadena, and Long Beach, plenty of theatrical venues aren’t exclusively car-dependent. Last week, I parked my car (free) at the NoHo Metro station, two nights in a row, and took Metro to the theater. The first night, I rode a Commuter Express bus from NoHo to Pasadena to see Looped. In Matthew Lombardo’s play, the celebrated wit and diva Tallulah Bankhead (Valerie Harper) complains (among many other subjects) about how easy it is to get lost while driving in L.A. Can you imagine Tallulah on the Commuter Express? Based on a real incident, Lombardo’s play depicts Bankhead’s sporadic attempts to loop one line for a forgettable film at an L.A. studio in 1965. Harper, who’s a lot more famous today than Bankhead, is a hoot as the Alabama-reared bad-girl actress. Fortunately, this isn’t a celebrity solo show like Lombardo’s Tea at Five, seen at the same venue earlier this century. Here, Chad Allen plays the frustrated, repressed hack who supervises the recording session. The friction between him and La Bankhead is moderated by a largely unseen guy (Michael Karl Orenstein) in the booth. There’s nothing profound here, but the conversation is spiked with refreshingly salty talk as well as therapeutic soulsearching. After the play, I wasn’t able to return to NoHo on the Commuter Express – it’s intended for daytime commuters, not evening theatergoers. But I walked a few blocks to the Gold Line’s Lake Avenue station, rode the train to downtown L.A., boarded the Red Line, and returned to my car well before midnight. The following day, I took the Red Line from NoHo to downtown, exiting at

Civic Center. Less than a block away is the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, where the plaza is again the temporary home of Shakespeare Festival/LA. This year’s play is The Taming of the Shrew, set in contemporary L.A. Transit appears to be on director Ben Donenberg’s mind. The production is visually dominated by different kinds of wheels that Angelenos use – but not the expected cars. Instead, the characters zip around on bikes, scooters, skates, and a large golf cart. Perhaps Donenberg wants to help yank Angelenos out of their cars, but if so, it’s odd that he neglects the subway that’s practically next door (as well as buses). Maybe the lack of wheels on a subway disqualified it from being mentioned. What do all these wheels have to do with Taming of the Shrew? Not much. But they provide extra zing to a production that’s already winningly zesty, thanks to a virile and exuberant Petruchio (Geoffrey Lower), a charismatic Kate (Sabra Williams), terrific tomfoolery from a half-dozen clowns, and cool projections by Andrew Wilder. The problem with a present-day setting for Shrew is Kate’s concession speech. Although Donenberg tries to prepare us for it by having Kate smile at Petruchio’s rascal act sooner than usual, no fashionable 21st-century babe like this Kate would accept servitude so willingly. For that matter, neither would have the 20th-century’s Tallulah Bankhead. Kate, you can still escape. Go a halfblock south, hop on the Red Line, and become a 99-seat theater star in beautiful NoHo. Petruchio wants a wealthy wife, so he’ll never look for you there. ✶

Looped, Pasadena Playhouse, (626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org. Closes August 3. The Taming of the Shrew, Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels plaza, downtown L.A., through Sunday. At South Coast Botanic Garden, Palos Verdes, July 23-27. (213) 975-9891. ShakespeareFestivaLA.org. For Metro information: mta.net.

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

Shipwrecked! The Victorian fabulist Louis de Rougemont made England believe that he had been shipwrecked and had lived for years among aborigines. Donald Margulies’s cheerful but hardly gullible take on this colorful character returns to the area after its premiere last year at South Coast Repertory, with an improved ending. Bart DeLorenzo again directs, with the original cast. Gregory Itzin is slyly ingratiating as Louis, and Melody Butiu and Michael Daniel Cassady are amazingly chameleonic in the other roles. Geffen Playhouse, Westwood. (310) 208-5454. GeffenPlayhouse.com. Closes July 27. Spring’s Awakening. Los Angeles Theatre Ensemble presents its own adaptation of Frank Wedekind’s 1891 play about sexual truth and consequences among teenagers in repressed Germany. Unfortunately, no teenagers appear to be in Evan Drane’s cast, which is drawn from the ranks of the ensemble. The text sounds more natural than did the recent Production Company version, but both of these are mere preludes to the main event – the prize-winning musical version due at the Ahmanson in the fall. Powerhouse Theatre, Ocean Park. (310) 396-3680 x3. latensemble.org. Closes July 26. This Contract Limits Our Liability: Read It! A young couple (Jonas Dickson, Kelsey Weeden), trying to spice up their sorry marriage by advertising for spouse-swappers, end up with a pair (Bill Robens, Julia Prud’homme) who plan to commit joint suicide instead of adultery. The plot twists of Joshua Fardon’s dark comedy are original but seldom convincing; the shock value feels force-fed. Kiff Scholl directed an able cast, including Andrea Ruth as a couples counselor, but blocked sight lines of the action that’s close to the floor are problematic. Theatre of NOTE, Hollywood. Wednesdays-Thursdays. (323) 856-8611. theatreofnote.com. Closes August 7. The Voice of the Prairie. John Olive’s 1986 play glowingly evokes the early days of radio and the power of oral storytelling. In 1923, a Nebraska farmer (Tom Dugan) is recruited by a pioneer broadcaster (Michael Matthys) to bring his tales of his youthful adventures roaming the country with a blind runaway (Ashley Bell) to the airwaves. As we see in flashbacks to 1895, in which Matthys plays the future farmer, the pair of wayfarers lost touch, but the radio programs eventually reunite the two. The narrative verges on tall tale-telling, but David Rose’s staging encourages the willing suspension of disbelief. Colony Theatre, 555 N. 3rd St., Burbank. (818) 558-7000. colonytheatre.org. Closes July 27. (DS)

LA CITYBEAT DOT COM W E ’ R E A LWAY S O N

Medical Patients Suffering: AIDS GLAUCOMA MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS CANCER IBS EPILEPSY model: sandywasko.com

ASTHMA CHRONIC PAIN

Discreet/Professional Environment Intended For Medical Purposes Only Original Valid Doctor Recommendation Required (strictly enforced)

HOURS: 11am-3am

Best Medical Selection Available

COME WATCH YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS AND RACING ON OUR 50" TV'S

Free Parking

(Across the Street Between Rocket Video & Aaron Brothers)

735 N. La Brea Ave. #' - ",

DANCES ALWAYS 4 MINUTES LONG SUN-MON $10 DANCES ALL DAY & NIGHT WEDS $150 1/2 HR. VIP DANCES HOT TICKET TUES & Thursday FREE DRINKS & 2 FOR 1 DANCES PORNO PARTY WEEKENDS FREE XXX DVDs

12317 BRANFORD ST.

# 8

FREESunday-Thursday. ADMISSION! 2+'$7 $452'$7 5/4+-

1 Drink Minimum ! "

ATM & ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED

www.VintageStripClub.com C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

ClassifiedMarketplace CONTACT US

323.938.1001 Fax: 323.456.0229

Ads may be submitted via email to classifieds@lacitybeat.com Deadline: Mondays 5pm Office hours: Monday-Friday, 9a.m. - 5p.m. Address: 5209 Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90036

Post Your Free Online Ad at www.lacitylist.com

CLASSIFIED ADS • JobSmart • Apartment Rentals • Mind, Body, Spirit • Adult Entertainment • BACKBEAT

TERMS AND CONDITIONS Refunds cannot be granted for any reason. Adjustments will be credited to the advertiser’s account toward future classifieds placement only. We proof carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur. Report errors at once, as the CityBeat will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing. Adjustment for error is limited to re-publication. In any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of space occupied by such an error (or omission). All advertising is taken subject to review by the Publisher in accordance with the CityBeats Standard of Acceptance. The CityBeat reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

Prepayment required for placement.

ApartmentRentals

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

Apartment/ Condos/Lofts

THE PLACE TO STAY IS PALMS/ WEST LA! Single $1080+up. 1BD $1370+up. Newer Building, Gated Entry & Subterranean Parking, 2 Elevators, Air Cond. Fridge, Stove, D/W, Laundry Room, 3848 Overl and 310-8393647

MISSION HILLS: 818-9203753. Single $830+up. 1BD $1125. Newer building, totally remodeled, gated entry & parking, A/C, Dishwasher, S t ov e , F r idg e , L a undry room , B a l c on i e s 9929 Sepulveda Blvd.

DO NOT LET DEBT GET YOU DOWN! AVOID THE STRESS & APPLY FOR A DEBT CONSOLIDATION LOAN NOW 1-866-644-3950 WE ARE WAITING TO HELP YOU

post your ad free online

N HOLLYWOOD: 818-9801277. 1 BD $1150. Newer Bldg. Totally Remodeled. Gated entry & parking, AC, f r idg e , s t ov e , dw , Poo l , Laundry Room, BBQ Area 6253 Lankershim NO HO ARTS DISTRICT LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE: Jr 1 BD $985+up. ALL UTILITIES PAID, Totally remode l e d. A/C, F ridge , stove . Laundry, Balcony, Ceramic tile, Gated Entry. & Parking. 5751 Came l l i a Ave 818761-6620. 2 WEEKS FREE WITH ONE YEAR LEASE KOREATOWN: 213-3847047. $925+up Large single, ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED, Totally remodeled. A/C, Fridge, stove, refrigerator, ceramic tiles. Gated Entry, Gated Parking Available. Elevator, Laundry room. 509 S Manha t t an Pl . 213-3847047 WEST LA: Singl e $1225, 1BD $1550+up. Park ing, G a t e d En t ry , B a l c on i e s , Laundry Room, Fridge and Stove, Some totally remod-

eled. No pets. ASK ABOUT MOVE IN SPECIALS. 1755 Purdue Ave 310-479-1079 KOREATOWN: 213-3896631. Bachelors $775 & up. ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED. Remode led, re frigera tor, Pool, Gated Entry. Laundry Room, Gated Parking Available. 245 S Reno St. REASONABLE PRICE, COME ON IN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. FURNITURE 4 LESS: Why pay for more, when you can pay for less. The finest furnitures in town. We also Deliver. OPEN 7 days a week. 11142 Whittier Blvd. Whittier, CA 90606. We deliver. 562.695.4977 HOMES FOR $30,000. Buy foreclosures! Must sell now! 1-4 bedrooms. For listings, CALL 1-800-903-7136 . (AAN CAN) TIMELESS BEAUTY MEETS MODERN HEARTHROB! Main Mercantile lofts built in 1907 in the historic core of Downtown, Los Angeles offer a phenomenal and creative living space to the dis-

ACTIVISM

SUMMER JOBS TO ELECT OBAMA

Work for Grassroots Campaigns Inc. on behalf of the National Democratic Party, to elect Senator Barack Obama and Democrats everywhere. $350-$550 per week over the summer.

Call Larry at (310) 441-1712 Los Angeles Office or Call Andy at (323) 257-1225 Pasadena Office

JULY 17-23, 2008 3 9 LACITYBEAT

cerning renter. Thirty five remarkable units make up the community ranging in size from 1,162 to 1,789 square feet. A pet friendly community with secure underground parking, Main Merc is one of Downtown L.A.’s hot t est new Lif estyle properties. Close to Fashion District, Nightlife, Art & Theatres, Gro c e ry M a r k e t s & t h e Me tro. www . ma inmerc . com. Call Josh for a Tour: (323) 605-3225 . Em a i l : mainmerc@gmail. com. ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) N HOLLYWOOD: 818-9801277. 1 BD $1150. Newer Bldg. Totally Remodeled. Gated entry & parking, AC, f r idg e , s t ov e , dw , Poo l , Laundry Room, BBQ Area. 6253 Lankershim

NO HO ARTS DISTRICT LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE: S ing l e $945 , Jr 1 BD $985+up. ALL UTILITIES PAID, Totally remodeled. A/C, Fridge, stove. Laundry, Balcony, Ceramic tile, Gated En t ry . & P a r k ing . 5751 Came l l i a Ave . 818-7616620. 2 WEEKS FREE WITH ONE YEAR LEASE WEST LA: Singles $1185 +up, 1BD $1595+up. Parking, Gated Entry, Balconies, Laundry Room, Fridge and Stove, Some totally remodeled. ASK ABOUT MOVE IN SPECIALS. 1755 Purdu e Ave. 310-479-1079 MISSION HILLS:818-9203753. Single $830+up. 1BD $1125. Newer building, totally remodeled, gated entry & parking, A/C, Dishwasher, S t ov e , F r idg e , L a undry room , B a l c on i e s 9929 Sepulveda Blvd. NO HO ARTS DISTRICT LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE: S ing l e $945 , Jr 1 BD $985+up. ALL UTILITIES PAID, Totally remodeled.

A/C, Fridge, stove. Laundry, Balcony, Ceramic tile, Gated En t ry . & P a r k ing . 5751 C a m e l l i a Av e 818-7616620. 2 WEEKS FREE WITH ONE YEAR LEASE WEST LA: Singl e $1225, 1BD $1550+up. Park ing, G a t e d En t ry , B a l c on i e s , Laundry Room, Fridge and Stove, Some totally remodeled. No pets. ASK ABOUT MOVE IN SPECIALS. 1755 Purdue Ave 310-479-1079 KOREATOWN: 213-3896631. Bachelors $775 & up. ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED. Remode led, re frigera tor, Pool, Gated Entry. Laundry Room, Gated Parking Available. 245 S Reno St. NO HO ARTS DISTRICT LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE: Jr 1 BD $985+up. ALL UTILITIES PAID, Totally remode l e d. A/C, F ridge , stove . Laundry, Balcony, Ceramic tile, Gated Entry. & Parking. 5751 Came l l i a Ave 818761-6620. 2 WEEKS FREE WITH ONE YEAR LEASE

ApartmentRentals

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

post your ad free online

Urban Living Live in the Art of Downtown LA

Artiste A partments are artsy and charming. A hip place to live, we cater to the entertainment and art industry. C hildren and p ets are welcome d in all locations: H ollywoo d, West H ollywoo d, Beachwoo d C anyon, Silverlake, Mid-Wilshire & Koreatown.

Bachelors $600-$900 Singles $775-$1300 1 Bedrooms $1050-$1800 2 Bedrooms $1500 and up Extra Spacious BRAND NEW A partment Homes in D owntown LA's vibrant Arts District. N ear to Little Tokyo, The Music C enter, M O C A, Disney C oncert Hall, Union Square, Fine dining, Shop ping & Nightlife.

866-632-3615

Models do not depict ethnic preference. We are dedicated to the achievement of equal housing opportunities

.

artisanonsecond.com View us daily 10am to 6pm 601 East 2nd Street Los Angeles, CA 90012

see yourself living here

1, 2 and 3 bedroom apartments and townhomes available BEVERLY

FAIRFAX

O WILSHIRE

LA BREA

the Grove

GARDNER

Farmers Market

3RD ST.

866.466.5426

w w w. p a l a z z o - p l b . c o m w w w. p a l a z z o s p a . c o m

Apartment Homes & Spa directly across from the Grove Short term and Furnished Apartments avaliable. We Cooperate with Real Estate Agents.

LACITYBEAT 4 0 JULY 17-23, 2008

6220 W EST 3RD STREET LOS ANGELES, CA 90036

JobSmart

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001 POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Av e r a g e p a y $20/hr or $57K/yr includes F ederal Benefits and OT. Placed by adSource, not affiliated w/ USPS who hires. 1-866-6167019. (AAN CAN)

Employment

EAT FREE AT CHIPOTLE , YUMMY: Now hiring general managers, assistant managers,servi c e managers, kitchen managers Full and part time professionals for our lo c a t ions in Or a ng e County/ Los Angeles CONTACT Lhall@chipotle.com. www.chipotle.com EOE OUTDOOR YOUTH COUNSELOR. Come make a difference working in the great outdoors. Immediate openings at Eckerd outdoor therapeutic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL, VT, NH and RI. Yearround residential position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info and apply online: www.eckerdyouth.org. Or fax resume to Care er Advisor/AN, 727442-5911. EOE/DFWP HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500-$5000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Online! Guarant e ed Payc h e c k s! No Exp e r i e n c e Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! HTTP://WWW . REBATEWORK.COM (AAN CAN) DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS : N e e d e d! E a rn $3 , 500$5 , 000 W e e k ly Wor k ing from Hom e ! Gu a r a nt e e d Paychecks! No Experience Necessary! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! http://www.BigPay Work.com (AAN CAN)

DRIVERS!!!!! Dr iv e rs Teams: your Hazmat End. gets you top industry pay plus monthly mileage bonus! Call Werner Enterprises 800346-2818 x 153 $$$HELP WANTED$$$: Earn Extra income assembling CD c a s e s from Hom e . CALL OUR LIVE OPERATORS NOW! 1-800-405-7619 ext. 150 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500-$5000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Online! Guarant e ed Payc h e c k s! No Exp e r i e n c e Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! www . Reba t eWork . com (AAN CAN) MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED. Earn $180 to $300 Per Day. All Looks, Types and Ages. Feature Films, Television, Commercials, and Print. No Experience Necessary. 1-800-340-8404 x2205

Business Services

INCOME4VACATION.COM 1K commissions, fully automated system, no cold calling, no personal ads, all you do is advertise, contact Jason www.income4vaction. c om or e m a i l c l i c k m a ster2002@aol.com

post your ad free online

CENTRAL PACIFIC CREDIT & F INANCIAL SERVICE: Need a personal loan, quick sameday, fixed rate, business, auto, mortgage, debt consolidation, bad credit OK. no application fee, 866-8567032

Education

BRYAN COLLEGE ENROLLING NOW BECOME A COURT REPORTER WORK IN COURTROOMS, LAWS OFFICES OR HOME OFFICE C a l l now f or S t a r t e r k i t ! www.bryancollege.edu. 1888-639-5363. since 1940

REASONABLE PRICE, COME ON IN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. FURNITURE 4 LESS: Why pay for more, when you can pay for less. The finest furnitures in town. We also Deliver. OPEN 7 days a week. 11142 Whittier Blvd. Whittier, CA 90606. We deliver. 562.695.4977 $CASH$: Immediate Cash for Structured Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, Inheritanc e , Mortgage Notes & Cash F lows. J.G. WENTWORTH #1 . 1-800-7947310. (AAN CAN) DRIVERS: Drivin’ yer Lifeaway? Finda Better Way! 11 Western. Good Hometime. Take Equip. Home. Class A CDL. 1 yr. 866-394-1944 x 117 ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS i n 111 a l t e rn a t iv e newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Stephanie at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 a l t e rn a t iv e newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Stephanie at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) #1 in Artist Websites: Easyto-manage, low cost, high traffic, elegant template websites for artists, photograph e rs & a r t is a ns . http://www.artspan.com

Health Care

CAREGIVERS SENT TO YOU! MooreCare in-home support for homebound patients and seniors. Keeping your loved one INDEPENDENT . (310) 590-6441 . www.moorecarebb.com PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Ca l l 24/7 Abby's One True Gift Adoptions866-413-6293

Mind, Body, Spirit

HANDS OF EXPERIENCE: Certified, Mature & Experience. Authentic Swedish / Esalen Full Body Combined with Deep Tissue & Stretching. Nurturing, Relaxing & Safe. Mke 818-842-5401

C o m m it t o Q u a lit y Join MWD’s Award-Winning Team

Maintaining its waste distributing system

Intake Pumping Plant on the Colorado

The Metropolitan Water District of Southern California (MWD) is the nation’s Largest provider of treated drinking water. Each day the district moves more than 1.5 billion gallons of water through its distribution system delivering supplies to 26 member agencies, which sell that water to more than 300 sub-agencies or directly to consumers. In all 18 million Southern Californians rely on MWD for some or all of the water they use in their homes and businesses.

F.E. Weymouth Water Treatment Plant

Since 1928, MWD has proudly served the people of Ventura, Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino and San Diego counties. Its award-winning success relies on state-of-the-art technology, and efficient operation and maintenance by MWD’s professionals, who have built an intricate supply system through innovation, teamwork, diversity and hard work. Now you too can contribute to our success.

We are increasing our agency-wide workforce and have a number of positions available at our various facilities throughout Southern California.

Immediate Need for Principal Aduitor Also Hiring For: • • • •

Accounting & Finance Electronics Information Technology Maintenance

• Administrative • Engineering • Operations

Comprehensive Benefits Package: MWD offers an outstanding benefits package that includes family health, dental, and vision care, a 401k financial plan with generous employer matching as well as a 457 plan, tuition reimbursement, extensive in-house training, flexible work schedules, and 14 paid holidays.

For More Information and to Apply

Visit: www.mwdh2o.com Submit an on-line career interest card for e-mail notification of new opportunities.

THE METROPOLITAN WATER DISTRICT IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

JULY 17-23, 2008 41 LACITYBEAT

JobSmart

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

post your ad free online

A N S W E R S T O L A S T W E E K’ S

A N S W E R S T O L A S T W E E K’ S

J O N E S IN’

P S Y C H O S U D OKU

Employment

CRO S S W ORD PUZZLE

EAT FREE AT CHIPOTLE , YUMMY: Now hiring general managers, assistant managers,servi c e managers, kitchen managers Full and part time professionals for our lo c a t ions in Or a ng e County/ Los Angeles CONTACT Lhall@chipotle.com. www.chipotle.com EOE

Tuition Reimbursement • Excellent Salary • Bonus Program

General Managers Assistant Managers Service Managers Kitchen Managers contact: Lhall @ chipotle.com

www.chipotle.com Equal Opportunity Employer

Complete Training • Health Club Discounts

Company Cars • Flexible Spending Plan

That’s just one of the perks of starting a career with one of the nation’s fastest growing companies! We’re currently seeking the following full and part-time professionals for our locations in Orange County/Los Angeles:

OUTDOOR YOUTH COUNSELOR. Come make a difference working in the great outdoors. Immediate openings at Eckerd outdoor therapeutic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL, VT, NH and RI. Yearround residential position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info and apply online: www.eckerdyouth.org. Or fax resume to Care er Advisor/AN, 727442-5911. EOE/DFWP HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500-$5000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Onl ine! Guarant e ed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! HTTP://WWW . REBATEWORK.COM (AAN CAN) DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS : N e e d e d! E a rn $3 , 500$5 , 000 W e e k ly Wor k ing f rom Hom e ! Gu a r a n t e e d Paychecks! No Experience Necessary! Positions Available Today! Register Online

We’re CLO S E D Christmas, Thanksgiving, E aster, New Year’s, Fourth of July!

MedicalResearch

Now! http://www . BigPay Work.com (AAN CAN) POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Av e r a g e p a y $20/hr or $57K/yr inc ludes F edera l Benefits and OT. Placed by adSource, not affiliated w/ USPS who hires. 1-866-6167019. (AAN CAN) DRIVERS!!!!! Dr iv e rs Teams: your Hazmat End. gets you top industry pay plus monthly mileage bonus! Call Werner Enterprises 800346-2818 x 153 $$$HELP WANTED$$$: Earn Extra income assembling CD c a s e s f rom Hom e . CALL OUR LIVE OPERATORS NOW! 1-800-405-7619 ext. 150 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500-$5000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Onl ine! Guarant e ed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! www.RebateWork.com

Business Services

INCOME4VACATION.COM 1K commissions, fully automated system, no cold calling, no personal ads, all you do is advertise, contact Jason www.income4vaction. c om or e m a i l c l i c k m a s ter2002@aol.com

CENTRAL PACIFIC CREDIT & F INANCIAL SERVICE: Need a personal loan, quick sameday, fixed rate, business, auto, mortgage, debt consolidation, bad credit OK. no application fee, 866-8567032 REASONABLE PRICE, COME ON IN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. FURNITURE 4 LESS: Why pay for more, when you can pay for less. The finest furnitures in town. We also Deliver. OPEN 7 days a week. 11142 Whittier Blvd. Whittier, CA 90606. We deliver. 562.695.4977 $CASH$: Immediate Cash for Structured Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, Inheritanc e , Mortgage Notes & Ca sh F lows. J.G. WENTWORTH #1 . 1-800-7947310. (AAN CAN) DRIVERS: Drivin’ yer Lifeaway? Finda Better Way! 11 Western. Good Hometime. Take Equip. Home. Class A CDL. 1 yr. 866-394-1944 x 117 ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS i n 111 a l t e rn a t iv e newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Stephanie at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 a l t e rn a t iv e newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Stephanie at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? Goto www . lacitylist.com

Education

BRYAN COLLEGE ENROLLING NOW BECOME A COURT REPORTER WORK IN COURTROOMS, LAWS OFFICES OR HOME OFFICE C a l l now f or S t a r t e r k i t ! www.bryancollege.edu. 1888-639-5363. since 1940

Health Care

CAREGIVERS SENT TO YOU! MooreCare in-home support for homebound patients and seniors. Keeping your loved one INDEPENDENT. (310) 590-6441. www.moorecarebb.com

Mind, Body, Spirit

HANDS OF EXPERIENCE: Certified, Mature & Experience. Authentic Swedish / Esalen Full Body Combined with Deep Tissue & Stretching. Nurturing, Relaxing & Safe. Mke 818-842-5401

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

post your ad free online

LACITYBEAT 4 2 JULY 17-23, 2008

For those who are over the age of 60 and who are feeling stressed or depressed, hopeless, sad, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, anxiety, or insomnia. UCLA is conducting a 4-month research study using a study drug and placebo in conjunction with Tai Chi Chih (a set of slow-paced movements) or health education. If you are not currently receiving any psychiatric treatment with effective medications, you may ualify. Medical and psychiatric evaluations and limited physical exams are provided as part of the study. Evaluations and study drug are provided at no charge.

F or more information, call UCLA at

(310) 794-4619

This Research Project is sponsored by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) Approved by UCLA and Biomed IRB UCLA/Matrix Site Preparation date: 9-21-07 UCLA IRB#: 07-05-072-01 Biomed IRB#:NIDA-CSP-1026

www. OPIATES.com the the leader leader in in DETOXIFICATION DETOXIFICATION UNDER UNDER ANESTHESIA ANESTHESIA from from Suboxone® Suboxone® Vicodin® Vicodin® Methoadone® Methoadone® OxyContin® OxyContin® and and all all opiates. opiates.

3 1 0 . 2 0 5 . 0 8 0 8

AdultEntertainment

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001 Adult Entertainment

MP REVIEWS.COM Escort Reviews • Erotic Ads • Erotic Forums MASSAGE PARLOR REVIEWS BUSTY BABE: Full busted mature woman in San Pedro, gives full body sensual massage. 310-519-7962 or 562522-2958

Adult Employment

$

$

MEN!!! GET PAID TODAY!!! Need to make money NOW? Sierra Blue Internet is seeking young, attractive men for adult web, print, and video work. Flexible schedules. Make up to $500 - $1000. For more information or to set up an interview, please call us at (619) 295-5729, email models@sdtalent.com or visit our website at http://www.sdtalent.com.

ATTENTION ESCORTS: Call for your free week of advertising on the Nations #1 Online Adult Directory! Come experience cityvibe.com for yourself! Get your ad online today. Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads. Incall Outcall!...... We have it all! (800) 573-8423. www.cityvibe.com

CAREFREE HAIRCUT: Private, Precision, Personalized! For a fabulous Blow & Go Haircut call... 626-220-0621 FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? Take a look at our website and get your business out to the pulbi c . Goto www.lacitylist.com

Sensual Massage

o o o SPORTS MASSAGE: Deep Tissue Shiatsu/Therapuetic Massage Given by Carlos. In and Out call availlable. 818502-0268

E N T ERTAINME N T AND

Relax at Rita’s

PARTY

MEET LOCAL SINGLES: Browse/ Respond FREE! 213.316.1055 Code 7269, 18+ HOT LOCAL MEN: Browse/ R e spond F REE! 323.648.3999 Code 5725, 18+!

AMBER: Sensual massage given- Happy Endings, summer special! Mature, San Pedro / Long Beach area. 310519-7962 or 562-522-2958

post your ad free online

Find What You Are Looking For?

Enjoy the Royal Treatment Lovely, Classy, Mature, Private. I Love Seniors

H O T LIN E

3 2 3.9 6 0.2 0 0 0

lacitylist.com post your ad free online

“If y o u d o n’t li k e t h e s e p a rti e s, y o u ’r e c r a z y .”

w w w. p a r t y h o t l i n e . n e t

JULY 17-23, 2008 4 3 LACITYBEAT

11am-7pm

818.903.5903 San Fernando Valley

TELEPHONE ACTRESS M a k e money working from your ow n home!! Well established E ntertainment C o. is in search of reliable, upbeat, open-minded individuals with great phone voice quality, for 1-on-1 phone conversations. H ourly pay plus bonus! F T /PT shifts available.

C all

(818) 558-7522

AdultEntertainment

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

post your ad free online

Adult Entertainment

O h, La , LA Vick y Go o d Figur e Petite , Ch a r m ing M a tur e La d y Go o d Loc a tio n, Lots of p a rking

W est Holly w o o d 323 - 851 - 4398

562-209-6774

MP REVIEWS.COM Escort Reviews • Erotic Ads • Erotic Forums MASSAGE PARLOR REVIEWS BUSTY BABE: Full busted mature woman in San Pedro, gives full body sensual massage. 310-519-7962 or 562522-2958

U NFO R G ETTAB L E

THERAPY

Well-educated and well-bred beauty will provide you with the perfect companion whether traveling or simply relaxing for the evening.

Asian & Latina Young & Pretty

(323) 871-2540 Free table shower

(Between Melrose & Santa Monica)

A Full Body to Body Hot-Oil Massage By a Beautiful, Busty,Gorgeous Brazilian Bombshell Maxine Incall Only

Amy Taylor

UNI 938 N. Western Ave Los Angeles

Re l ax a n d Enjoy

MEET LOCAL SINGLES: Browse/ Respond FREE! 213.316.1055 Code 7269, 18+ HOT LOCAL MEN: Browse/ R e spond F REE! 323.648.3999 Code 5725, 18+!

34C-23-34 • 5’ 6” • 115 lbs.

Best in Town

www.AmyTaylor.com

Amy@AmyTaylor.com

LACITYBEAT 4 4 JULY 17-23, 2008

AMBER: Sensual massage given- Happy Endings, summer special! Mature, San Pedro / Long Beach area. 310519-7962 or 562-522-2958

Adult Employment

$

$

MEN!!! GET PAID TODAY!!! Need to make money NOW? Sierra Blue Internet is seeking young, attractive men for adult web, print, and video work. Flexible schedules. Make up to $500 - $1000. For more information or to set up an interview, please call us at (619) 295-5729, email models@sdtalent.com or visit our website at http://www.sdtalent.com.

ATTENTION ESCORTS: Call for your free week of advertising on the Nations #1 Online Adult Directory! Come experience cityvibe.com for yourself! Get your ad online today. Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads. Incall Outcall!...... We have it all! (800) 573-8423. www.cityvibe.com

CAREFREE HAIRCUT: Private, Precision, Personalized! For a fabulous Blow & Go Haircut call... 626-220-0621 FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? Take a look at our website and get your business out to the pulbi c . Goto www.lacitylist.com

Sensual Massage

o o o SPORTS MASSAGE: Deep Tissue Shiatsu/Therapuetic Massage Given by Carlos. In and Out call availlable. 818502-0268

Find What You Are Looking For? lacitylist.com post your ad free online

Ca r e f r ee Hai r cu ts Private Precision Personalized For a fabulous Blow & Go haircut call…

(626) 220-0621

ALCP (.$)*# )''/ C8:@KP9<8K

AdultEntertainment

lacitylist.com

To Advertise Call 323-938-1001

post your ad free online

SWEDISH/ FRENCH GIRL Blonde 44 DD 5 6” 125 lbs. B

Hot-Sexy-Caring-Open Minded & Playful Multiple hour pamperings Avail. • Full Body Massage • Fantasies fulfilled • Prostate Stimulation

ES T SE R V IC E

Sunny R elaxation & The M en That A dore Them! e Browse & Record Ads FREE! e Put the fun back into dating! e Meet REAL people in your local area! (213) 316-0336 (310) 873-0573 (323) 451-1043

(562) 304-1018 (818) 942-1103 (626) 940-0671

MASSAGE FOR MEN AND WOMEN Experienced massage therapists Reduce pain and stress Very nice environment 1 hour $55, 1/2 hour $35

(626) 356-3168 (626) 548-9742 2885 E. Colorado Blvd. Pasadena, CA 91107

(cross street at San Gabriel Blvd.)

Close Encounters! Browse ads FREE! Record ads FREE!

Talk 1-On-1 in our Live Chatroom! MEN CALL! (213) 316-0780 (310) 873-0533 (323) 648-1149 (562) 304-1016 (626) 940-0845 (661) 361-1313 (818) 861-0018 (909) 380-8691 (951) 436-3496 LADIES CALL! (213) 316-0331 (310) 873-0532 (323) 648-1148 (562) 304-1015 "GENTLEMEN!! Receive FREE (626) 722-1160 O N E - H O U R c a l l i n g t i m e w i t h e a c h (661) 361-1312 p u r c h a s e ! L e a v e c u s t o m e r s e r v i c e (818) 861-1030 message from Main Menu." (909) 663-0233 (951) 436-3495 We do not pre-screen callers and assumes no responsibility for personal meetings Automated People Connection Incorporated

LACITYBEAT 4 6 JULY 17-23, 2008

lacitylist.com

lacitylist.com

post your ad free online

post your ad free online

Be on the B ACK B E A T 3 2 3.9 3 8.1 0 0 1

F R E E

PREGNANCY TESTS Women's, Pediatric, Youth Services and

FREE

Pregnancy Tests. Call 323-644-3888 or walk in. Asian Pacific Health Care Venture, Inc. 1530 Hillhurst Avenue, Suite 200 Los Angeles, CA 90027

www.aphcv.org

LOAN OFFER

Why pay for more, when you can pay for less. The finest furnitures in town. We also deliver.OPEN 7 days a week.

thpgray02hotmail.com & thpgray02 @ gmail.com

11142 Whittier Blvd. Whittier, CA 90606. Call Now! 562.695.4977

HOME REFUND JOBS!

FORWARD YOUR OFFICE

E arn $3,500-$5000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now!

Never miss a another sales call. We’re there when you are not. nights, weekend, holidays, scheduling, customers problems, sales and more, reasonably priced, call us

www.RebateWork.com

323-327-2492

UNIVERSAL PSYCHIC

LA CIENGA GRILL CAFE

Tarot, Psychic and Palm Readings. Karma, Chakra, and Past Life.

Taste of Santa Monica on La Cienga Mexican and American Cuisine Rated #1 1663 La Cienga Blvd. Los Angeles south of Pico

3179 West Cahuenga Blvd. LA, CA 90068 Call 818-279-4448

100% PURE COSTA RICAN COFFEE HAVE YOU BEEN FIRED? SEXUALLY HARASSED? DISCRIMINATED AT WORK? UNPAID WAGES & OVERTIME? Law Offices of Frank Hakim F R E E C O NSULTATION: (310) 789-2240

SAVE $2.00 PER GALLON OF GAS New Coupon book save you $1000’s on gas, send a self addressed envelope + $29.00 (money order only) to John Hinton,

PO BOX 82382, LA, CA 90082

RELAXING THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE & CALMING PEDICURE Relief for tired feet, goddess style! ReEnergizing treatment for men & women, 8 a.m. - 8 p.m., discount w/ad on 1st visit.

(323) 353-9756

MOVIE & TELEVISION EXTRAS MAKE EXTRA MONEY

REASONABLE PRICE, COME ON IN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. FURNITURE 4 LESS

We give out loan at low & high interest rate of 3% for a minimum of 5 yrs. We give out loan in these categories: personal loan, company loan, home loan, investor loan, contact for more inquiries:

Costa Rican Coffee Company, is considered to be among the best found any place in the world. In Southern California NOW!

-Kumu Kawika David Krap es-

• Two Time Hall of Fame • Over 38 years experience! • Trained/Cornered over 15 world champions • National Black Belt League Adult Forms Champion • WKA Light Heavyweight North American Kick Boxing Champion

310-898-1165

***$700,-$800,000 FREE CASH GRANTS/ PROGRAMS-2008!

THERE IS SOMETHING YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT LIFE...

www.puregoldcoffee.com

Personal bills, School, Business/ Housing. Approx. $49 billion unclaimed 2007! Almost Everyone Qualifies! Live Operators

CAREGIVERS SENT TO YOU!

1-800-592-0362 Ext. 235

MONEYLOVEANDHAPPINESS.COM

MooreCare in-home support for homebound patients and seniors. Keeping your loved one IND E P END E NT.

POST OFFICE NOW HIRING!

MEET LOCAL SINGLES

(310) 590-6441 www.moorecarebb.com

Coverage pay $20/hr or $57K/yr includes Federal Benefits and OT. Placed by adSource, not affiliated w/ USPS who hires.

213.316.1055 Code 7269, 18+

1-866-616-7019

CENTRAL PACIFIC CREDIT & FINANCIAL SERVICE Need a personal loan, quick sameday, fixed rate, business, auto, mortgage, debt consolidation, bad credit OK. no application fee,

866-856-7032

INCOME4VACATION.COM 1K commissions, fully automated system, no cold calling, no personal ads, all you do is advertise, contact Jason www.income4vaction.com or email

clickmaster2002 @ aol.com

DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS Needed! E arn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly Working from Home! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Necessary! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now!

HANDS OF EXPERIENCE Certified, Mature & Experience. Authentic Swedish / Esalen Full Body Combined with Deep Tissue & Stretching. Nurturing, Relaxing & Safe.

Mke 818-842-5401

http://www.BigPayWork.com

Must be available 2 to 4 days during the week. Have fun working on sets with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Vision Casting, please call our G eneral info line

The knowing of which will dramatically change your life.

Browse/Respond F R E E!

FREE PSYCHIC READINGS BY PHONE Farren solves all problems. Specializes in reuniting, reveals lovers true feelings. Remove Negative Energy.

1-800-527-1542 www.psychicfarren.net

MEET PEOPLE AND NETWORK FOR BUSINESS BRAND NE W Private Members-Only Social Network is the place to be seen. If your business targets people online in any way, then you will love it here! We are a "Who's Who" Professional Social Network. Go type in:

WWW.WEALTH-MATRIX.COM OR DIAL 323.843.4295.

323-692-5680

EAT FREE CHIPOTLE EVERY DAY- YUMMY

LEARN AWAIIAN LUA MARTIAL ARTS + MUAY THAI KICK BOXING FROM THE MASTER!

MP REVIEWS.COM • Escort Reviews • Erotic Ads • Erotic Forums MASSAGE PARLOR REVIEWS

Now hiring general managers, assistant managers, service managers, kitchen managers Full and part time professionals for our locations in Orange County/ Los Angeles

• Need a Warrant Recalled?

HOT LOCAL MEN

• Want to Smoke Pot on Probation?

Browse/Respond F R E E!

C O NTACT: Lhall @ chipotle.com www.chipotle.com E O E

• All Criminal Defense, from Drugs to Murder.

BECOME A COURT REPORTER BECOME A COURT REPORTER WORK IN COURTROOMS, LAWS OFFICES OR HOME OFFICE Call now for Starter kit!

1-888-639-5363 www.bryancollege.edu since 1940

Harvard Law, Affordable Office: 323-653-1850 (Ok to call from custody, 24-hours services)

JULY 17-23, 2008 4 7 LACITYBEAT

323.648.3999 Code 5725, 18+!

STRAIGHT BLACK MALE SEEKS LASTING RELATIONSHIP with Female or couple. Race open. No Drugs.

(310) 988-5225

HELP WANTED E arn Extra income assembling C D cases from Home. Start Immediately. No Experience Necessary.

1-800-405-7619 ext. 150 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com

C8:@KP9<8K ALCP (.$)*# )''/

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.