Second Supper, Issue 118

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FREE VOL. 8 ISSUE 118 May 29, 2008


ABRAHAM LINCOLN

HAD A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE,

AND WAS A WRESTLER.

BOSTON

HAD THE BEST-

SELLING DEBUT ALBUM OF ALL TIME.

GWENDOLYN BROOKS WAS THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO WIN A PULITZER PRIZE. KISS RELEASED A TOOTHBRUSH WHICH PLAYS "ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT" WHEN YOU USE IT. DODI AL-FAYED IS CREDITED AS AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF "INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE." WOLVERINE'S BIRTH NAME IS JAMES HOWLETT. RALPH WALDO EMERSON WAS BANNED FROM HARVARD FOR DENYING THE DIVINITY OF CHRIST. MICHAEL OLIVER, STAR OF THE PROBLEM CHILD FILMS, IS NOW A RED-MULLETED ROADIE. CHARLOTTE RAE, MRS. GARRETT FROM "THE FACTS OF LIFE", ONCE STARRED IN A COMMERCIAL WHERE SHE WAS NAKED IN THE SHOWER. JALEEL WHITE (STEVE URKEL) VOICED SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. RON JEREMY'S NICKNAME IS THE HEDGEHOG. THE EARLIEST KNOWN VIDEO GAME WAS CREATED IN 1947 USING A CATHODE RAY TUBE. SUPER MARIO BROTHERS IS THE BEST SELLING GAME OF ALL TIME, HAVING SOLD 40 MILLION COPIES. NINTENDO IS THE MAJORITY OWNER OF THE SEATTLE MARINERS. NINTENDO USED TO OWN A CHAIN OF HOURLY RATE "LOVE HOTELS." PUNCH-OUT!!!'S SODA POPINSKI WAS ORIGINALLY CALLED VODKA DRUNKENSKI. ROD SERLING WAS A MILITARY BOXER. THE UGLY QUEEN BAVMORDA FROM WILLOW PLAYED A ROBO-BABE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE. BURT REYNOLDS PARODIED MARLON BRANDO IN THE SHAKESPEARE EPISODE OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE. DAVE MATTHEWS IS AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN. DAVID COVERDALE HAS BEEN THE SINGER FOR BOTH DEEP PURPLE AND WHITESNAKE. ALANIS MORISSETTE'S "YOU OUGHTA KNOW" IS ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVE COULIER. THE CREATOR OF SCRABBLE, ALFRED MOSHER BUTTS, STUDIED THE NEW YORK TIMES TO CALCULATE HOW OFTEN EACH OF THE 26 LETTERS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WAS USED. IN 1978, MORE DEER WERE KILLED IN CONNECTICUT BY MOTORISTS THAN BY HUNTERS. IN PROPORTION TO THEIR BODIES, HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE THE LARGEST BRAINS OF ALL BIRDS. FINLAND ONCE BANNED DONALD DUCK BECAUSE HE WEARS NO PANTS. ST. PAUL, MINNESO-

the top

Things to write love letters on 1. Hand 2. Bathroom mirror 3. Pillow case 4. Parking Ticket 5. Text message 6. Homemade paper 7. Inside of sunglass lenses Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen

When I was in 6th grade I wrote a letter to one of my heroes, Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek, telling him how much I loved his show. The autographed photo he mailed back still hangs in my kitchen. For all my life I have been a fan of useless information — and judging by some of the stories in the daily newspapers and TV broadcasts, I’m not alone in that love of fluff. Not everything has to be important, and sometimes it’s best just to state that outright. So from a staff that loves trivia to a readership that’s subjected to it everyday, we hereby present this celebration of useless news. — Adam Bissen

PIG’S EYE. BANDANNA IS THE HINDU WORD FOR TIE-DYE. THE YELLOW RIVER IS ACTUALLY YELLOW IN COLOR. THE GAME SCRABBLE WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED "LEXICO" AND THEN WAS CHANGED TO "CRISS-CROSS WORDS". ED GEIN WAS BORN IN LA CROSSE. MR. WIZARD ONCE TAUGHT SCIENCE AT CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL. LOSEY BOULEVARD IS NAMED AFTER FAMOUS FILM DIRECTOR JOSEPH LOSEY, WHO WAS BORN IN LA CROSSE. ONE OF LA CROSSE'S SISTER CITIES IS LUOYANG, CHINA, ONE OF THE NATION'S CAPITALS DURING THE HAN DYNASTY. IN 2007, COUNTRY HOME MAGAZINE RANKED LA CROSSE 12TH ON ITS LIST OF 25 BEST GREEN CITIES IN AMERICA. TA WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED

Interested in being a home owner?

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Managing Editor/Art Director: Joel Kuennen joel.kuennen@secondsupper.com

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

Student Editor: Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com

Photo Editor: Kelly Morrison

kelly.morrison@secondsupper.com

Contributers:

LA CROSSE Tim Bavlnka Adam Bissen Scott Brown Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Brett Emerson Emily Faeth Erich Boldt

Bob Treu Joel Kuennen Kelly Morrison Maria Pint Briana Rupel Noah Singer Sarah Morgan WINONA Peter Boysen

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Exorcise your wit 2


Do this... WHAT: June Dairy Days WHERE: Village Park, West Salem WHEN: May 30th to June 1st If there is one thing that Wisconsin is well known for, it's for producing high-quality dairy products that are celebrated throughout the world as being the best! Come on down to West Salem this weekend for a celebration of all that is dairy! There will be live music on Friday night by Three Beers To Dubuque, followed by a fireworks display. Saturday will have The Dairy Days Parade heading down Leonard Street to Village Hall at noon and will have dairy tents offering tasty items all day. Musical guests for that night include Tunnel Vision and Trouble Shooter. Throw in a carnival that opens at 11 a.m. for Saturday and Sunday and a beer tent that doesn't close until 1:30 a.m. for all three nights, and you've got yourself a recipe for an awesome time at June Dairy Days! For any questions, contact junedairydays@yahoo.com. Have fun and get strong bones at the same time!

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GEEK OUT • • A brief history of PEZ dispensers

Austrian confectioner Eduard Haas III invented PEZ candy in 1927, naming it as a contraption of Pfefferminz, the German word for peppermint, the first PEZ flavor. It was originally sold in tins but became repackaged in dispensers resembling cigarette lighters as the candy was marketed as an anti-smoking aid. For its first two decades PEZ dispensers remained headless. The iconic faces were added in the 1950s when Haas introduced his product to America and marketed the candy to children. Santa Claus and Mickey Mouse were among the first character dispensers and have sold at auctions for over $10,000. Today, PEZ dispensers are a soughtafter collectable, with over 500 different U.S. characters known in circulation. Dispensers can be dated using the six different U.S. Patent Codes marked on the sides, injection mold codes embossed on the bottom and design differences such as “feet,” which were added in the 1970s for stability. There was a long-circulating story that Pierre Omidyar, inventor of eBay, created the auction site to help his fiancé collect hard-to-find PEZ, but the company confirmed that origin story as a publicity stunt in 2002. — Adam Bissen

Explaining the Rick Roll

"Rick Rolling" refers to a primarily Internet-based prank involving a bait and switch. In this, an Internet user will click on a link, in search of a certain topic, which will instead lead to a video of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." Since 2007 the practice has spilled over into the real world. The New York Mets, in conducting a poll to determine the song for its 8th inning sing-along, was bombarded with more than five million votes for the Rick Astley tune. The song was met with "a shower of boos" when played. Some of the February 10 Scientology protests featured the song played through boomboxes, effectively Rick Rolling the church. Rick Rolling has been featured in a Family Guy episode, The Carson Daly Show and various other television programs. Partly as a result of the phenomenon, RCA plans to release a greatest hits collection for Astley. How does Rick Astley feel about it? He says it's "hilarious," but "bizarre." — Brett Emerson

May 29, 2008


GEEK OUT • •

Social Networking Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue.You see? We really are all connected.

High-Heeled Tidbits

NAME & AGE: Ben Koch, 28 BIRTHPLACE: La Crosse CURRENT JOB: Humble Assistant TELL US A JOKE: "The Aristocrats"

DREAM JOB: Supreme Overlord COVETED SUPERPOWER: Whatever makes the most people happy DREAM VACATION: Japan FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Maid Rite FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: Yesterdays 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Videodrome, Freaked, Little Dieter Needs to Fly 3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: You Are Going to Prison by Jim Hogshire Geek Love by Katherine Dunn The Shadow Over Innsmouth by H.P. Lovecraft

#1 PET PEEVE: Assholes CITY OR COUNTRY? Country 3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: KRS One - Retrospective The Smiths - The Queen is Dead Babyland - The Finger IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Cello WHAT’S IN YOUR POCKETS? Phone, wallet, yellow American Spirits, earplugs, blue lighter, one sugar-free Werther's Orignal HOW DO YOU KNOW GARETH? 10 years ago we were working at a mobile DJ service and were both sent to the same gig. His car broke down, and he ended up crashing at my place.

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

and so much more ...

Stilt-like wooden platform shoes first came into fashion in 16th century Venice, when the roads were pure mud and slush.The heels eventually became so high that women couldn't walk in them, and servants were hired to help the ladies in and out of their gondolas.The fashion also fufilled a Venetian husband's desire to make sure his wife didn't travel far while he was away, the same concern that motivated the Chinese to bind their women's feet. Eventually, high heels were outlawed, because of the high death-rate resulting from Venitian prostitutes tripping and falling to their deaths. It wasn't until 1818 that the left shoe was made out of a different form than the right shoe. Prior to that, either shoe could be worn on either foot. The average American woman buys about five pairs of shoes each year, and the average man, about two pairs. As a rule men's shoes last longer and remain in fashion longer than women's footwear. The modern shoe is manufactured in some 150 sizes, with length designated by a number and width by a letter. A size ten shoe does not equal ten inches, but in fact stands for ten barleycorns. The English king Edward II decreed in 1324 that an inch was equal to three average-sized barleycorns laid end to end. The normal shoe was declared to measure thirty-nine barleycorns, and this size was designated with the number 13. Other sizes were graded from this standard, with one barleycorn difference between each successive size. The foot-measuring system used in England is one size different from the American system in both length and width. Oh, and the U.S. Patent Office has on file a design for boots with pockets, for use by nudists. — Kelly Morrison

Robert Crumb Robert Crumb (although always credited as R. Crumb) was one of the forerunners in Underground Comix back in the late 1960s and early 1970s. His most famous comic characters include Devil Girl, Mr. Natural, the "Keep On Truckin' logo" and Fritz the Cat, which Ralph Bakshi turned into the first X-Rated animated movie. In addition to his well known underground comic series (Zap Comix,Weird Comix, etc.) he also did the album art for Janis Joplin's album "Cheap Thrills." The Rolling Stones also asked him to draw up an album cover, but he refused on the grounds that he didn't like their music. A little known fact is that Robert Crumb was also an avid banjo player and actually had a bluesgrass band called R. Crumb and his Cheap Suit Seranaders. The three albums that they've released now currently sell for $50 to $100 used at most record stores and online retailers. Currently, Crumb lives in Sauve, France with his wife and his daughter, who are all accomplished artists in their own right. — Benjamin Clark

The Ultimate Warrior is Crazy! It's true! In 1993 this wrestling luminary legally changed his name to "Warrior" in order to protect his trademark against the WWF. All of his kids have the last name of Warrior. Since he retired from wrestling in 1999 he has toured the country offering his services as a

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conservative motivational speaker. The most infamous of these appearances took place at the University of Connecticut, where Warrior asserted that "...queering doesn't make the world work." Add this to the regular nonsense he spews out on his own website, ultimatewarrior.com, and the fact that he is responsible for creating a comic book where he apparently rapes Santa Claus, and it's safe to say that The Ultimate Warrior is bat-shit crazy! — Brett Emerson

Coffee Freak! I was killing time at the airport in Istanbul the first time I brought a tiny cup of Turkish brew to my lips. "In Turkey," my native buddy began, "it's customary to drink the grounds. Maybe you'll need some water." When in Rome, right? My friend was doubled over in laughter as I was trying in vain to scrape the muddy grounds off of my tongue. The first rule of Turkish coffee: DO NOT drink the grounds! To gain an understanding of how important Turkish coffee is to their culture, you only need to look at the Turkish word for breakfast, Kahvaltı. Literally translated, it means "before coffee." Now here's a country I can jive with. Preparation for a cup or two of Turkish coffee is surprisingly complex — and everyone claims that they know the best way.The water must be cold.The coffee has to be ground specific to a Turkish setting (which I've found at both the Co-op and Festival). The powdery coffee and sugar must sink first before you place it on heat.You must only stir once. Let the foam rise, take it off the heat, and replace. (The number of times this particular procedure is repeated varies as well.) Before drinking, allow time for the grounds to fully sink to the bottom. The ritual is so important, that a woman uses it to accept or decline a marriage proposal. To say yes, she gives her man a cup with sugar. If she wants to decline however, she'll sneak a spoonful of salt in his cup instead. Now that's true coffee love. — Briana Rupel

A commercial assessment of Garth Brooks’ discography When Garth Brooks dropped his self-titled debut album in 1989, insiders predicted the voice of “If Tomorrow Never Comes” to be a competent songwriter, but no superstar like Randy Travis. The diamond-selling follow-up No Fences changed all that with a string of number one hits, including the anthem “Friends in Low Places,” which topped the country singles charts for 23 straight weeks. By then an arena-rocking powerhouse, Brooks dropped Ropin’ the Wind, the first country album to debut at the top of the pop charts. He followed this with two releases in

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1992, the Christmas album Beyond the Season and the eclectic The Chase, which stretched the boundaries of contemporary country music but saw disappointing sales of 8 million records. Brooks returned to his honky-tonk roots on 1995’s Fresh Horses, cashed in with a greatest hits package and dropped his seventh album, Sevens, with a massive concert in Central Park.The following spring, Brooks pulled all his albums out of print and resold them collectively as the The Limited Series box set.This was followed by a double-disc live album, a failed tryout with the San Diego Padres and the baffling concept album In The Life of Chris Gaines, which still managed to go double platinum. He’s since released a second Christmas album and a 2001 “retirement album” Scarecrow before signing his entire discography over to Wal-Mart for exclusive sales. As of 2008, an estimated 140 million Garth Brooks albums have been purchased worldwide. — Adam Bissen

Last week on The Young and the Restless Gloria regrets her drunken tryst with Alistair when her family walks in on the elderly couple in bed — a gross scene — but Jill rehires Alistair to spy on Gloria when she learns of the affair. After donating half her fortune to charity in a pursuit of good “karma,” Gloria considers selling her stash of diamonds, in secret so as not to alert her estranged husband Jeffrey. Amber and Daniel finally admit they love each other, but their post-dinner cuddle forces Daniel to miss a meeting with his rock-star father, who was set to offer Daniel a job on his tour. On the anniversary of Cassie’s death, Sharon mourns at her grave while Nick becomes upset with himself because an earlier bought of amnesia prevents him from remembering the day his daughter died. Adam acquires a new company, Natural Glow, for Newman Enterprises but a subsequent audit reveals the business engaged in a pricey lawsuit, an uncharacteristic misstep from the Harvard-trained prodigy.Was he actually sabotaging the business of Victor Newman, the absentee father who had only recently returned to his life? Only time will tell. — Adam Bissen

GEEK OUT • •

May 29, 2008


When trivia takes over a town commercials. Whenever we’d go shopping, my sisters and I knew we could con our parents into getting us some of those limited-edition candy bars as long as we said: “Hey, this would be pretty good for trivia.” My skills for note-taking in high school, and now in college can be attributed to all the note-taking I’ve done for trivia. When one sits down to take notes on a movie, it is necessary to have the remote control immediately available, ready to pause at a minute’s notice. Everything needs to be written down, from the main character’s license plate to the logo that appears on his T-shirt to the posters he has hanging in his room. Commercials and TV shows are the same way, in which every slogan and miniscule detail has to be written down so it can be recalled during the contest. (Q: What company has the trademark “Seven whole grains on a mission?" A: Kashi). Currently, our team consists of close fam-

By Ben Clark

ben.clark@secondsupper.com The time is 6 p.m., and a whole town is holding its breath. In the next few minutes, the world’s largest trivia contest is about to begin, bringing masters of the arcane from around the world to a little town called Stevens Point for a 54-hour-long battle of useless information. After hearing a long list of sponsors, the first question is about to be read over 90 FM WWSP, the collegiate radio station for University of Wisconsin – Stevens Point. The head trivia master and question writer extraordinaire Jim “The Oz” Olivia takes the mic and reads off the first question to over 450 teams – including my own – competing around the state and the world (some listen online). With the question read, the trivia theme song, Steppenwolf's “Born To Be Wild” plays on the air, and immediately team players begin to desperately call the station in hopes of getting the answer correct. And remember, the answer to the first question is always Robert Redford. The contest itself began back in 1969, when it was simply played by college kids in dorm rooms, running desperately up the stairs every few minutes to find a phone that would work. Now, in its 39th year, the 90 FM trivia contest is 54 grueling hours of non-stop trivia, with questions involving TV, movies, music, sports, history, radio programs, commercials, print ads and everything in between. The format includes eight questions per hour. After a question is read, there is a time limit of two songs played on the radio for a team to call in the correct answer, and phone calls are limited one per team. In addition to these “standard” questions that are read throughout the hour, there are

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

ily friends, each of whom get together a few times on and off throughout the year to talk about strategy and ideas on how to improve ourselves for next year. Each year, we use a setup consisting of 13 to 15 laptops and computers, a room full of books and binders of notes from movies, TV and commercials, as well as an electronic database consisting of all the past questions of the contest, a couple books scanned in, and, you guessed it, more notes. Right now, WRTM (Wisconsin Rapids Trivia Maniacs) is busy preparing for next year’s contest, feverishly updating our ever-growing collection of notes. Maybe this year, we’ll get back into the top ten teams (currently we’ve been finishing in the top 20, but only placed 27th this year). Hopefully, some of my notes will yield a big-point question out of the 432 questions read during the 54 hour ordeal. As the Oz always says, “Let’s play trivia, Fast Eddy!”

“running questions," “music snippets" and the “trivia stone” along with 25 pictures that need to be identified in the official newsletter, The Trivia Times. Both the “running questions” and the “trivia stone” are scavenger hunt-like questions, with clues given out to teams to find within a short time period. Music snippets, on the other hand, are a collection of eight short musical snippets cut from a wide variety of songs. Each team has to identify the name and artist of each of the song snippets. Each of these special questions appears throughout the contest three times, and points are given to each answer accordingly. The coolest thing about the 90 FM Trivia contest is how each question is awarded points. The value for each question is calculated by dividing 1000 points by the number of teams that called in with the correct answer. For easy questions that practically every team answered correctly (Robert Redford for the first question, or for answers easily found on the Web), their values usually hang around five to 30 points. For big questions that maybe only a very few number of teams answered (e.g. Q: What’s the name signed on the bat used by Wendy Torrance to hit husband Jack Torrance? A: Carl Yastrzemski.) will yield anywhere from 90 to a whopping 500 points. Lately, more and more of the big point questions can be found in a variety of rare books and from good old fashion note taking from TV shows, commercials, print ads and movies. For me, trivia was something I was born into and looked forward to every April when the contest would start again. My parents played on the same team throughout their college careers, and the old team is still pretty much together. My whole family has joined in on taking notes from TV series, movies and

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D-bag Cook can BITE ME

maria.pint@secondsupper.com I hate you America, I hate you so much! First you elect George W. Bush, twice, and THEN you make David Cook the new American Idol! Ugh, you suck at voting in general! David Cook is such a d-bag I really don’t think I can ever call him my American Idol. In fact, before we even found out he won, I made a rule in our house: no one calls David Cook by his actual name; it's D-bag Cook. So I first decided that I hated D-bag Cook some time ago during one of his performances. I honestly cannot remember what song he sang, but I’m sure it sucked and I’m sure he looked dumb doing it, but why I hate him came immediately after his last note. He just got done singing his little heart out when he looked at the camera with bullshit sultry eyes and held his hand up to the camera. On his hand, written in black sharpie, was “Give back.” And all you could see for like ten seconds of primetime Fox television time was this hand with “Give back” written on it and D-bag Cook’s face in the background. D-BAG!!! Self-righteous piece of… After that moment, D-bag Cook left a bad taste in my mouth and I wasn’t about to forget it come finals time. My mom was all about the D-bag, she thought he was sooo cute! Gag me, he couldn’t fool me with his act; I knew he was nothing but another dumb bartender who thinks his ass looks a little too good in tight jeans. I also really hate his hair; it’s puffy in all of the wrong places and I swear his actual hair line starts on the back side of his huge head. That’s another thing I dislike about D-bag Cook, he has the biggest head I have ever seen on American Idol; so many ways do I mean that. Standing next to Seacrest though, his head looks massive, just ridiculously big. I realize that Seacrest is a tiny human, but come on! We have a big-headed freak as the face of American popculture now! I guess it’s a good thing that a lot of the American Idols are usually ignored by the general public once the tour is over. It’s actually kind of funny though, I know relatively nothing about this new “idol.” And even though I knew I’d be writing about him this week, I refused to even type in the D-bag’s name into Google. Not only do I refuse to pair the words “David” and “Cook” together any-

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more, but I realize that Facebook is creepy now and looks at your Google searches to best advertise to you on your homepage. If I ever login to Facebook and see D-bag’s ugly mug on my profile, I’m going to freak. Let me get off topic here for just a little bit and elaborate on that whole Google search Facebook advertisement thing. I don’t know if it’s a rumor or if that’s actually true, but I fully believe that it’s a fact of Facebook life. I have evidence; on my homepage, I see a lot of golf advertisements and promos for cheesy reality shows which fits me to a T! Also, I was wasting time on www.uwlax.edu one day, checking out the new sweatshirts available in the bookstore, and the very next day I saw UW-L athletic wear ads on my homepage. What really cracks me up though, is that Debbie Downer always sees STD ads on her homepage, asking her if she’s been tested for AIDS lately. Ha ha, I couldn’t even make this shit up. Alright, back to American Idol. With my limited knowledge of the D-bag I formerly knew as David Cook, I got a lot of my info from a very unreliable source: my mother. So according to my dear old ma, David Cook was forced/encouraged (I don’t know which word is actually closer to the truth) by his brother to try out for American Idol. Well, apparently that brother also has cancer. So Seacrest announces the winner and not only is D-bag crying, but so is the Cancer Brother and the Mom’o’Dbag and lord knows what other relatives where there. It was moving…sort of…I guess…whatever. I don’t know, this might send me straight to hell but come on, other people have cancer too! You’re not special D-bag Cook! All I have to say is, Lance Armstrong. Also, Tom Green. The list truly goes on and on and I am going to be so pissed if anyone tells me they voted for D-bag because they felt bad for him. Feel bad that it looks like he has eyeliner on all the time, that’s the only thing you can feel bad about. That, and you can feel bad that you voted for a d-bag. In all though, it was 12 million votes. Now I ain’t so good at math, but I would say that’s a whole lot. So if 12 million Americans want Dbag to be their D-bag, I guess I’m not going to stop them. To protest however, I’m moving to Canada! (I feel like I’ve ended like 10 columns like that…maybe I should move.)

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May 29, 2008


GEEK OUT • • The Nas/Jay-Z beef

Ever since Nas dropped his debut album Illmatic in 1994 and Jay-Z followed with Reasonable Doubt in 1996, the two MCs would be forever linked in the battle for “King of New York,” a title opened by the 1997 murder of the Notorious B.I.G. Although the two were originally amicable (with Jay-Z even giving a shoutout to Nas in his liner notes), Jay escalated the beef by assuming the New York crown on the 1997 jam “The City is Mine.” Nas responded on “We Will Survive” by accusing him of using Biggie’s “name in vain,” and the two traded barbs on the mixtape circuit for much of the late ‘90s. In 2001, Jay debuted “The Takeover” at New York’s Hot 97 Summer Jam concert, where he basically calls Nas a has-been (“You had a spark when you started, now you’re just garbage”). Almost immediately Nas responded with a radio freestyle mocking Jay as “H to the Omo.” When Jay re-recorded “The Takeover” for his 2002 classic The Blueprint, Nas responded with the vicious “Ether,” where he repeatedly calls Jay-Z gay, ugly and a misogynist (“You seem to be only concerned with dissin' women/ Were you abused as a child?”). Truthfully, the beef resuscitated both rappers’ careers and ended in 2005 when Nas made a surprise appearance at Jay-Z’s I Declare War concert. The following year Nas signed to Jay-Z’s Def Jam Records, and they subsequently released duets for Nas’ Hip Hop is Dead in 2007 and Jay-Z’s American Gangster this winter. — Adam Bissen

Myst

In 1993, developer Cyan Worlds released Myst, a graphic adventure game designed by brothers Robyn and Rand Miller. It went on to become the best-selling PC game until The Sims exceeded its sales in 2002. The game puts you in the role of "The Stranger," a person who uncovers a book detailing a serene island world. Upon placing his palm on the last page, the Stranger is sucked into the book and comes to on a dock on the edge of the described island: Myst. What follows is unlike anything else gamers were used to in the early '90s.There's no annoyingly catchy, high-pitched music. There's no chance of dying or need to pick up extra lives or ammo. You're left to freely explore a surreal landscape, enhanced by an ambient and haunting soundtrack. The library, the main base of the island, displays two mysterious books: one blue and one red. Two brothers are trapped for some reason in their respective books. Their messages are fuzzy and brief at first, but they each beg you to find the missing pages of their books, leading to their freedom. Each man also tells you not to trust the other. Now it's getting juicy. Your objective then is to pick up on cryptic clues and solve complex puzzles that lead you to four mini-worlds of Myst, where you have to find the hidden missing pages. Every time you come back to the library and replace a page, the brothers' messages become clearer, and then it's up to you to decide whom to trust. I've had dreams about wandering the island. I had a notebook for each world filled with maps, clues that may prove useful, and trials and errors scribbled down from solving puzzles. Being a geek was never so much fun. — Briana Rupel

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

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Flaming Lips, raging nudity and P-funk ¬ that's Summercamp!

By Richard Antoniolli Contributing Writer

Chillicothe, Illinois is a small town on the banks of the Illinois River with a population of about 6,000. Every year on Memorial Day weekend, however, the town’s population nearly doubles as thousands of music lovers from all across the country set up camp at Three Sisters Park for an annual celebration known as Summercamp. For many, including myself, Memorial Day weekend marks the kickoff of summer, although it seemed Mother Nature had other plans. It rained two out of three days, temperatures dropped down into the 40s overnight and on Sunday local authorities ran through the camping areas with police cars and ambulances, sirens blaring, ordering everyone to return to their cars because “severe weather was approaching.” There was no tornado, as many were rumoring, instead it was the predicted high winds and hail that became a safety concern. Although the weather was not entirely indicative of summer, the music did not disappoint and it was obvious that the summer festival season had begun. There was a wide range of music to be heard throughout the day on Friday, but wherever you went there was one thing every place had in common: MUD. It was impossible to avoid and many embraced it. The stages had huge mud fields in front of them and people could be seen jumping and dancing, even covering themselves in it. I refrained from any “mud-wrestling” activities, but it was great to be witness to such a carefree atmosphere. One of Friday’s highlights was Sound Tribe Sector 9’s set. Although many people say the show’s atmosphere changes during a day set without a lighting, the music they played could hardly disappoint. I felt it was a great festival set. They played crowd pleasers (“Lo Swaga” and “Aimlessly”), some songs off their upcoming release, Peaceblaster (“Looking Back on Earth” and “Economic Hitman”), as well as songs sure to please even the most seasoned fan. Highlight of the Sector 9 show: Circus>Roy G Biv. The carefree atmosphere of the fest was exemplified in The Flaming Lips set, Friday’s other highlight. Before the band’s cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Song Remains the Same,” Wayne Coyne, the band’s lead singer said, “for the next song and the next song only, anyone who wants to is allowed to get naked and run around consequence free.” As they played the song, numerous naked women danced on stage with them and the video screen played footage of a man running though the woods stripping. The crowd became ecstatic and many people joined in this collective display of nudity; afterwards it was the buzz of the fest.

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Saturday kicked off with Cornmeal, a Chicago bluegrass band, on the main stage. I thought it was a high-energy show and those in attendance seemed to agree. Everyone was moving around and after the band was finished any traces of the morning’s sleepiness had been banjoed and fiddled away. Later on that day the band O.A.R. surprised me with their set. At first I felt that this band was out of place amongst the other acts, but the time they had on stage was enough to change my mind of that. I had seen them once before, and the O.A.R. I thought I knew was different from the one playing that day. Overall, the main stages on Saturday seemed less exciting than the other two days, despite good performances by Umphrey’s Mcgee, The Roots and crowd-favorite moe. Instead it was the one of the side stages, the Starshine Stage, where I came across something different and exciting, the band Groovatron. I thought the duel guitars and saxophone had a funky feel to it and it really got me moving. I would definitely recommend checking out this band. The Camping Stage at Summercamp was a small stage setup on the ground, in the middle of the woods, and surrounded by campers’ tents. Anyone camping in the area could stick their head out of the tent and have a front row view of this mini-stage. On Sunday, The Hue, a Chicago progressive/rock band, created quite the uproar in the forest. Fans surrounded the stage 360 degrees and started off the day jumping around and dancing furiously. The entire band has a lot of talent, but guitarist Marcus Rezak is especially fun to watch. I felt the best part of this set was the high-energy song “You Like” and I thought it was a perfect way to kick off the festival’s last day. Without a doubt the highlight of Sunday was George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. The funk put me in a great mood, and I was not alone. George had the entire crowd chanting together, “We want the funk. Gotta have that funk.” It was infectious and even after the show was over while I was walking to my campsite, I could still hear people singing aloud those two lines of lyrics. To close out the festival moe. played the last of five sets that had the crowd in frenzy. This final set really made obvious the large number of moe. fans in attendance. The cheers rarely subsided and there was a constant flow of glow sticks through the air. I met one moe. fan who gloated about the vast number of glow sticks he brought, along with his giant slingshot to catapult them. When the show ended and the festival was over there were smiles all around, myself included. Every person I met had nothing but good words to speak about this festival overall, except for the weather that is.

May 29, 2008


Festi d' Bella Sol in a Harmonious Park

By Adam Bissen

There was a huge cheer from the crowd, many of whom had followed the esteemed Minnesota jamband since its glory days. Those days have long since passed, but Bella Sol represented everything that was — and can still be — great about Minnesota music fests.There were a manageable few thousand fans at the festival, and the setting couldn’t have been any more serene. The people were kind, the bands were good natured and you could buy a pint of Premium for three bucks or a fresh Summit for four. Sure there wasn’t much out there that would challenge most listeners, but dang if it wasn’t all nice! Really, the whole beauty of the festival

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com A half-hour into the Big Wu’s Sunday afternoon set at the Bella Sol festival last weekend, bass player Andy Miller stepped up to the microphone and addressed the hundreds of fans dancing before the barn-like stage. “You know, this thing goes by a lot of names,� said Miller, taking a pull off his can of Old Style and adjusting his floppy Minnesota Viking hat.“Some people call it the Bella Sol. Some people call it the Lost Weekend. But for the next hour an' a half, I’m calling this the Big Wu Family Reunion 10.5!�

boils down to Harmony Park, one of the most idyllic settings I’ve ever encountered in the Midwest. Located in the plains of central Minnesota, visitors approach an unassuming stand of trees via a dirt road, and even after parking the car the place looks like nothing special. Yet once one enters Harmony Park — goodness, I’ve never seen anything like it.The entire venue is built in the midst of an old-growth oak stand bordering a kidney-shaped lake. Literally every tree you see is a hundreds-year-old oak, and the canopy of gnarled limbs is visually striking and gives the place a bit of an enchanted air. Most of the acts on the bill were regional, and many had played the park before, either at Big Wu Family Reunions or the handful of other fests held there each year. I don’t want to imagine how many times I’ve seen Stealin’ Strings, the White Iron Band or Down Lo (to say nothing of La Crosse favorites Shoeless Revolution and Moon Boot Posse), but they were good in this environment, and rootsier acts like Pert Near Sandstone and Trampled By Turtles were downright perfect, probably the best sets I’d ever seen by those groups. The headlining acts were edgier but a little mismatched for the festival, I thought. Pnuma Trio played the 11:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. slot on Friday night and absolutely killed it, performing what sounded like 80 percent new material. Where they used to play organic instrumentals resembling electronica, bassist Alex Botwin dropped his own hot beats while the entire trio added instruments over the top, giving the

band a richer sound than most in the jamtronica ďŹ eld. Still, much of Harmony Park stayed back at their camp that evening, disinclined to hear heavy beats or see swirling lasers. Guitar maestro and all-around weird guy Buckethead closed the main stage on Saturday with a performance that baffled many of the crunchier fans. Buckethead wears a bucket on his head, paints his face white, dances the robot and uses nun-chucks on stage — quite well, I may add — and says not a word while shredding metal riffs a la Steve Vai. It was a technically impressive performance, but I had to chuckle as I walked through the crowd near the end of Buckethead’s set and found it to be about 85 percent white dudes. Boogie woogie act the North Mississippi Allstars closed the main stage on Sunday, but they were pretty forgettable in light of the bands that really closed down the fest. Each night after the big stages shut down, bluegrass pickers from a variety of groups met at the tent stage for an informal, unampliďŹ ed romp through standards. These freewheelin’, whiskey-passing sets lasted until past 4 a.m. each night and featured probably the most fun and impromptu music of the festival. At times there were up to eight pickers on stage and they called out songs on the spot, smiling as much as fans in the crowd. Even at a family affair fest in Minnesota, it’s hard to imagine anything nicer than that.

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Soundset Festival By Blake Auler-Murphy blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com

Last Sunday's Soundset ‘08 festival was organized by Rhymesayers Enterntainment and featured nearly their entire roster of rappers from P.O.S, Psalm One and Blueprint to its more renowned acts Brother Ali and Atmosphere. The festival also featured performances from national acts Aesop Rock, Dilated Peoples and Little Brother as well as the Fifth Element stage which featured local artists that clearly had a good following to be playing at the same time as some of the bigger national acts.The DJ and B-boy tent offered DJs spinning up beats while B-boys performed high speed twirling dance moves shifting from feet to hands effortlessly. With 12,000-plus people in attendance the festival was clearly a success. While Brother Ali performed he mentioned the power of the festival coming together and how we were being shined upon by our desire to have a wonderful time. While all of Ali’s music was very entertaining, he was at his best while he was playing the more heartfelt songs such as "Uncle Sam God Damn" and "Rainwater" where he connected with the crowd talking about the power of intention. Ali is an amazing showman who can meld a hiphop show into a spiritual experience more awe inspiring than any church service. At 5:30 the crowd was split between the Minneapolis favorites Doomtree and Def Jux

artist Aesop Rock.This is right when the threat of rain really became imminent and speakers started getting covered with tarps. Doomtree, a collective of independent Twin Cities rappers with a very unique sound and writing style, certainly had quite the active crowd despite being pitted against Aesop Rock, who regularly sells out venues in Minneapolis. Doomtree performed well despite some obvious technical difficulties. It seems these rappers were used to not always playing with the best equipment and rolled with the punches. I felt like I needed to be at two places at once and immediately headed over to the main stage to catch as much Aesop Rock as I could. Aesop Rock is one of the most intricate oddballs in hip-hop. It is difficult to assess his meaning even with the album on repeat, let alone at a live show.With that said Aesop Rock normally holds the precision of his records in amazing fashion live. However something was up at Soundset. Aesop stumbled over a third of a verse from the song "No Regrets," and even though he recovered graciously it was hard for a longtime fan not to recognize. Shortly after Aesop held the crowd’s attention to inform us that Camu Tao, Aesop’s close friend and labelmate, had died that morning after a two year battle with cancer. Aesop said he was just trying to keep it together. He then had the whole crowd stomp, scream and clap in remembrance. After this Aesop finished strong with "Daylight" from the 2001 Labor Days LP that had the

whole crowd singing “All I ever wanted was to pick apart the day, put the pieces back together my way.” Dilated Peoples played between Aesop Rock and Atmosphere. I rediscovered my love for hip-hop in my teen years with music from Dilated Peoples. They are a great option for anyone who enjoys intelligent lyrical content with the West Coast sound and just enough glossiness to be club music. DJ Babu, who runs the music, put on an amazing interlude to the set with some great beat juggling and scratching. Atmosphere took the stage to a throng of awaiting fans. Playing accompanied by his DJ ANT, a guitar player, piano player and a female singer, Slug the front man of Atmosphere seemed calm and collected as he played a number of fan favorites in the beginning of his set. Songs that sounded familiar took on a whole new life with the augmentation of the guitar and piano player. Atmosphere did a lot to connect with fans and even from a great distance it felt like Slug was right next to me when he said some of his lines. I have been to great Atmosphere shows; this set was definitely one of the better ones. Soundset ’08 was a blast. This is certainly a summer festival for anyone who has ever loved hip hop-culture. The activities to accompany the music were all interesting in their own right and the music was obviously the highlight that could allow this festival to thrive.

GUIDE TO FESTIVALS - Continued from last week Feel Good Festival August 8-10 Amherst, Wis. Hear: Ed Danger's Dangergrass, Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank, Blueheels, Reptile Palace Orchestra, Sloppy Joe, Bowser, Salt Creek, Sean Schiel, Patchouli See: Sun Dresses Fun Run, hula hoop lessons, jousting, didgeredoo workshop, Ms. Feel Good Festival, Frisbee games, etc. Pay: $40 feelgoodfestival.org

Lollapalooza

Fat Fest

August 1-3 Chicago, Ill.

August 21-24 Wabasha, Minn.

Hear: Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, Kanye West, Wilco, Gnarls Barkley, Bloc Party, Broken Social Scene, Lupe Fiasco, Flogging Molly, The National

Hear: Fat Maw Rooney, Chinese Fingertrap, Jeff Coffin Mu'tet feat. Futureman, EOTO, Garaj Mahal, Cornmeal, God Johnson, Shoeless Revolution

See: Nearly 80,000 people file onto "El" trains and vacate a music festival within an hour of Radiohead's final note. Ahh, public transportation.

See: A Pirate themed music festival. Why? Who cares...Yar!

Pay: $190

fatfest.org

Pay: $55

lollapalooza.com

GUIDE TO FESTIVALS - GUIDE TO FESTIVALS - GUIDE TO FESTIVALS - GUIDE TO2008 FES 11 May 29,


Q&A with Bang Camaro Brett Emerson

SS:What’s your take on the state of rock music and metal today?

There’s no middle ground. My last interview was with a one-man band, and now I get to talk with Bryn Bennett, guitar player for Bang Camaro, an anthem rock army.

BB: A lot of modern music, how it sounds and is written, I find to be really boring. Everything is so overprocessed with ProTools to be perfect. You don’t hear human nuance anymore. Go back and listen to Appetite for Destruction. You can hear Izzy and Slash muting notes, string noise – none of that was edited out. It’s a rock and roll album. If you listen to something like 30 Seconds to Mars, you don’t hear one bit of any humanity in those albums. It’s like robots came to rock. The engineering is impressive, but it leaves me wanting more.

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

Second Supper: How did Bang Camaro come about? Bryn Bennett: Alex [Necochea] and I were playing in some indie rock bands around Boston. Both of our bands happened to split up at the same time, so we were working on new music.We figured out that we were both closet metalheads, which you don’t really like to admit in Boston. We were having fun jamming out Randy Rhoads riffs, so one day we wrote a song called “Bang Camaro,” and we wanted to get that huge vocal sound of Skid Row or Def Leppard. We pulled in our best friends who were singers in other bands in Boston, got around one microphone and screamed “Bang Camaro!” We had the best time ever. Two years later, we’re still doing it. SS: What influences led you to your glam-rock sound? BB:We kinda sound like a lot of the bands from the '80s, but we’re indie rock guys. Alex’s favorite band is Sparklehorse. I’ve been listening to Radiohead for years. TV on the Radio has been my favorite album to come out in the past two years.We distill a bit of that into our music.We put a lot of time into our music, even if the lyrics don’t show that. The early '80s bands were good pop music songwriters; it’s unfortunate that they dressed how they did and the production of the time was what it was, because the music didn’t age very well. But there was a lot of good songwriting, and I hope that people are realizing that more. SS: How many singers are you bringing on this tour? BB:We’re currently rolling with seven. We have our core six singers who come wherever we go, and we have an extra guy.We try to pull people in from the towns that we visit, and bring them up for the last few songs. It’s a pretty cool way to meet our fans. We have people send in a video of themselves singing, and we made up a training DVD that’s really funny, so that they learn all the different harmonies they’re going to have to do. SS: Does having such a large group, make touring difficult? BB: This whole band is an exercise in logistics. We’ve gotten to the point where most of us are ready to do this full time. People are taking a step back, quitting their day jobs, and really going for it, but we’re not quite there yet. Two guys flew back to Boston last night, and we’re bringing two more guys in, two days from now. There’s some rotating of the singers, but the core five instrumentalists are here throughout the long haul.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

SS: It’s better to have the flaws in, and just go for it. BB: Yeah! Listen to our song, “Push Push (Lady Lightning).” We wrote and recorded that song before we were even a band. If you solo the vocal tracks, you can hear people screaming and rocking out. I was happy that we didn’t clean it up; it’s almost like a live show. That’s what people should get back to. SS:That’s sort of a punk attitude. Quit screwing around and second-guessing yourself. BB: Exactly. One thing I’m really proud of is that a lot of people come up and tell us that watching our show is like watching a punk show. I never would have thought that. It’s really about the energy, and that’s how it should be. There are virtuosos, and I do respect guitar players like Eric Johnson or Steve Vai, but I don’t listen to their albums.

anymore, they’re just playing the game. That’s really not true. I’ve seen a lot of young kids go out and buy a real guitar because they were good at those games. SS: What recent groups do you consider to be the best examples of today’s rock? BB: I mentioned TV on the Radio, and I like them because they’re a good genre-bending group. They have a lot of hip-hop influence, but they’re a rock band. They succeed where the '90s nu-metal fusion completely failed. People like Fred Durst or Korn didn’t really understand what was good about hip-hop and what was good about rock – they just took the misogyny and chauvinism of both. There are a lot of bands who are doing it really well right now, bringing in electronics, guys who have laptops on stage, and that’s really amazing. SS: Do you feel any kinship with a big-anthem act like the Darkness? BB: We get asked this a lot. I really feel no connection with the Darkness. Their first album was amazing, but their second album was terrible. What they did was try to bring back the pomposity of rock, the Robert Plant thing, and that’s really the antithesis of what we do. We’re indie rock guys who grew up with Nirvana, having this anti-hero. We bring up fans to be part of the band, and we hang out afterwards. Our attitude is “come and rock with us,” not “let me rock to you.” I liked what they did musically, but I couldn’t imagine doing coke off groupies’ asses with them.

SS: Or putting on a cat suit. BB: Exactly. SS: Where do you believe rock is headed? BB: It’s turning into this melting pot. MySpace brought a type of punk rock boom back, where people saw a way to get their music out to the masses. Now, everyone you know is in a band – 80 percent of my friends play in some band. It’s pretty cool, but at the same time it’s hard to weed through everyone. The first 130 bands you listen to are gonna suck, but then you find that one shining gem. That’s amazing. As far as sonically, it’s hard to say. I do feel that people are tired of this corporate emo stuff. It’s gonna come back to a dirtier rock, more real. Whether that’s one guy with a laptop on a microphone, or 20 smelly guys in a van, like us. We’re doing it for the love of music. These are exciting times. SS: Maybe rock will actually be for adults again. BB: Speaking of which, Glen, one of our singers, just bought 20 Hannah Montana stickers and covered our van windows with them. She is such an example of everything that’s wrong. But good for her; her dad used to have a sweet mullet. Bang Camaro will be at the Joint on June 4th.

SS: The musicians who can put on clinics aren’t drawing crowds; they’re putting on clinics. BB: That reminds me of a funny story. We were playing The Boston Music Awards two years ago, and the guitar player from Dream Theater was there, but then he got really mad at us and left! I guess we were having too much fun. I took that as a compliment. Getting back to the state of music, MTV isn’t the powerhouse it used to be; it doesn’t even play music anymore. If you look at the moves that Radiohead and Trent Reznor have done lately, it’s kind of putting the power back in artists’ hands, creating new ways to get your music out to people. It’s a tough time in the industry, people aren’t selling CDs like they used to, but it needed to go through a shake-up. We’re scraping to get by, especially with how many people are in our band, but at the same time we’re not signed to a record label. We’re doing it ourselves, and it’s paying off. SS: Do you feel as though, considering things like MySpace which are bringing a democratization of music, fans of rock are becoming more or less knowledgeable about its history? BB: I have a unique perspective in that I work for Harmonix, and we’ve made Guitar Hero 1 and 2 and now Rock Band. Watching kids who are 10 or 11 who know about Deep Purple is pretty sweet. The games are bringing back the knowledge of rock. Some people are angry about that, saying that kids aren’t playing guitar

hideaway

5.31 | Saturday | 9:30PM

The Wonder Creek Band Blues/Rock/Funk/Soul

608.483.2777 www.hideawaybrewpub.com

12


Reviews - your guide to consumption Snuff

Wild Ride IPA Sand Creek Brewing Company Black River Falls, Wisconsin Wisconsin doesn’t do wild. Although excellent beers are produced in this state, they’re not the sort of drinks that get up in anyone’s face. Consider our best efforts — the Spotted Cows, Capital Ambers and Sprecher Blacks — they’re all well-crafted beers that go down effortlessly and don’t tip their scales to one prominent flavor. The freaky lagers, punchyou-in-the-face pale ales and unexpected concoctions? We leave those for the hippies in California and Colorado. Although this is a decent quality control principle, Ratings: it often leaves us lacking in the more resplendent 5 of 10 poles of the American 4 of 10 craft movement, or maybe we just settle for 4 of 10 simple beers. No where is this more evident than 6 of 10 with American Pale Ales, 5 of 10 a crown jewel of the craft movement and a point of Total: pride for western brewmasters. Here in Wiscon24 of 50 sin, though, we settle for an IPA called Wild Ride

Bibliophile By Chuck Palahniuk

that is pretty much anything but. The Wild Ride pours a cloudy orange color bordering on brown, much darker than other beers in its class. Similarly, it tops off with an amazing head, almost two fingers thick, that is lacey and long lasting. At the face of it, these two attributes would appear to set the Wild Ride apart from other pale ales, but after taking a sip one wonders if the brewer skipped a step or perhaps tossed in some cheap ingredients along the way. The beer has a good pale ale aroma, all piney hops and citrus with just a hint of malt. The first sip is actually pretty good, especially if the bottle is cold, but after that it falls flat. Hops, the foundation of every good pale ale, are rather subdued in the Wild Ride, and the mouthfeel is watery while the aftertaste is cloying. Whatever you do, don’t let this beer get warm or it will revert to the sour, “economy” flavors Sand Creek often releases, and nobody wants to take that ride. — Adam Bissen

The author of such nihilistic opuses as Fight Club and Lullaby has always carried a little of the Marquis de Sade in his writings. Both authors have a tendency to jump out at their readers and horrify them, and for first time readers, the horror comes in swarms. Yet there comes a point where the shock in each author becomes formulaic. (The Duke is sodomizing another twelve year old? The Bishop is eating more feces? Bo-ring!) Soon, it becomes the lack of reaction which becomes the true monster.With this thought in mind, anyone who couldn’t expect Chuck Palahniuk to produce a factoid-choked account of the world’s largest gangbang is rather naïve. While this book is not de Sade’s scatological Letters to Penthouse brand of dull, it does number among Palahniuk’s most uninspired works. The story unfolds through the eyes of Mr. 72, Mr. 137, Mr. 600, and Sheila, four greenroom occupants in attendance for said Guinness Gangbang.The three misters are participants; Sheila is the gatekeeper between the pud pullers and Miss Cassie Wright, aging porn star. They’re all creeps. 600 is a similarly bloated porn magnate, as well as a sex offender. 137 is a disgraced television star who is trying to bury the fact that he is Erasure-level gay. 72 might be Wrights bastard porno baby, on a mission to save her soul, but may have to lay pipe to her anyway. And as it turns out, Sheila’s no innocent, either. The four spend hours in this room: applying bronzer, shaving body hair, dredging up skeletons as old Cassie Wright films play overhead (their titles are the high point of the book). Disturbing events unfold, as might be guessed. Fucked up they are, but by the end there isn’t any gravity left to care about. It could be maintained that Snuff is the natural culmination of Palahniuk’s writing career – his equivalent of combining 3-D glasses with pictures of nudes. If that’s so, it means that this is his most predictable work to date. Which it is. Like the subject itself, Snuff is caked with artificial titillation and Astroturf degradation, meant to draw people in, not to hold them. Palahniuk has done much better. Read those books instead, or at least watch Spongebob Sorepants. — Reid Liberty, Pornsmith

Almond Amaretto $12.00 / lbs. at the Briar Patch

ireless W e e Fr et! Intern ig Ten B , L F N rk! Netwo

Great Study Environment right across from Onalaska High! 426 2nd Ave South Onalaska, WI 608.781.9999 - www.thetimbers.biz

(southwestern) 13

(soups & sandwiches)

This week we have a delicious flavored cup called Almond Amaretto, another invention of White House Coffees. The flavored roast uses a heavy, durable berry and a dark roast to support the light, floral essences of the almond. The aroma of these beans is like a punch in the nose, almost so sweet as to make you tear up, but seeing as I love marzipan (a deliscious sugar and almond paste which is commonly made into varied shapes), I stuck my nose in deeper and breathed heavily of the that sweet almond haze. The aroma of the brewed cup, in contrast, is subdued though unmistakeably almond. As to taste, I recommend making this cup a bit stronger than you normally would, it allows for a deeper base, again to best contrast that sweet almond. As long as I'm "recommending" things, I'll be frank. The best way to enjoy this brew, is with a dollop of creme fraiche and 2 spoonfuls of Irish whiskey. Now that's what I call a dessert coffee! — Joel Kuennen

May 29, 2008


Film Reviews Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Director: Steven Spielberg Cast: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf Writer: David Koepp, George Lucas, and Jeff Nathanson By Nicholas Cabreza

nicholas.cabreza@secondsupper.com I love this movie. I love watching Indy leap onto speeding trucks. I love watching him debate over sinking in a sand trap or being pulled out with a giant snake. I also hate this movie. I really care about these characters, and I'd hate to see them go out like this, with a whimper. Although I hate to admit it, Crystal Skull is as much a testament to George Lucas' dwindling creativity as to the pulp serial adventures of yore. The quest to return a long-lost crystal skull to the city of El Dorado leads Indy and his comrades down familiar territory. There aren't any logical steps in this wild goose chase, they just show up at the right archeological site at the right time. Anyway, it's the action and comedy, not the logicality, that sells tickets. But for every magnificent action piece, there's a ridiculous drawback that screams, "George Lucas Was Here". For example—and I shit you

not—CGI prairie dogs and CGI monkeys have almost as much screen time as Karen Allen; it's surprising that Lucas didn't write in any Ewoks. The crystal skull itself looks like a plastic mold of the alien's skull from Alien—19 years wasn't enough time to design an original alien skull? Then, forgetting to include more bullwhip, screenwriter David Koepp saturates the script with joke after joke about Harrison Ford's age. Then there's the horrific ending. Google "anticlimactic" and you'll see a screen shot of Crystal Skull. Looking like it was filmed inside the Gravitron ride at a church festival, the final set piece offers no final battle, no climactic confrontation, and, sadly, no melting/exploding faces. (SPOILER ALERT) The biggest whimpering exit of them all belongs to Cate Blanchett's character, who—again, I shit you not—disappears into thin air (END OF SPOILERS). But don't let all this nitpicking discourage you from seeing it, though box office numbers suggest you already have. By itself, Crystal Skull isn't that bad, but if this is the coda—the final installment, the last hoorah—then this is one movie I wouldn't mind Lucas and Spielberg tinkering with and re-releasing.

Cult Classics The Love God? (1969) Directed By: Nat Hiken Starring: Don Knotts, Anne Francis Written By: Nat Hiken By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Don Knotts is the first king of television comedy. The world can bestow all its laurels upon the Once and Future Matlock, but the simple fact remains that without Barney Fife, there would be no Andy Griffith Show. Furthermore, it’s difficult to imagine how the likes of Andy Dick, French Stewart, or the B-52s would have turned out without the influence of this twitchy, bug-eyed forefather. And while the rubber faced angel’s television antics were awesome, the films of Don Knotts are just as glorious. Don’t believe me? Then feast your eyes upon The Love God?(!) Within this slice of joy you will find no animated fish, no karate battles with fictitious ghosts, (alas,) and not a single Apple Dumpling Gangsta. No, this avatar of Don Knotts is a SMUT KINGPIN. The End. No? Well, he starts out as a simpleton who runs a bird watching magazine into the ground. But soon, Mr. Abner Peacock crosses paths with nefarious boob-mongers who exploit his

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

fourth-class mailing privileges and place this patsy upon their naked lady throne. After a shady federal case, Mr. Peacock emerges as this world’s Hugh Hefner, and Don Knotts wears some of the best leisurewear EVER as he gets down with the ladies. His sexual magnetism is beyond ridiculous. In the meantime, Mr. Peacock is pulling double duty in his Podunk town, stringing along the preacher’s daughter, who I can’t refer to by any name but “Stupid.” Peacock constantly breaks his promises to quit the tit biz, to come back home, and to propose to Stupid. But like the dingbat she is, Stupid just keeps waiting on her veranda, staring off into space, and waiting for an erectile colossus like Don Knotts to fly home and make her an honest woman. As if! But it happens. Boo! Where are your standards, Mr. Knotts? Yet discounting the ending, this is an erotic masterpiece that makes Caligula look like a two-bit donkey show. The world may look upon Don Knotts as a twitchy, bug-eyed freak, and – well, I guess I do, too. But he’s the George Washington of twitchy, bug-eyed freaks! And this is his best movie ever!

14


Happenings classifieds 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 Oak Entertainment Center Glass Doors 262-893-8313, $150 1998 Mazda Protege LX Manual 5-speed, in good condtion. Only 101,000 miles. Gets 30 mpg. Asking $2800 or best offer. Papasan chair From World Market. Dark wood frame, cushion has dark blue/white print. Asking $30 or best offer Desk length: 41" width: 22" Has cubby underneath on right side. Basic wood with dark finish. Big enough for a computer monitor. Chair not included. Asking $20 or best offer

GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you. For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick! (Just kidding, that’s not legal.)

Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.

upcoming events OPEN STAGE/MIC

Every Thursday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse 8 p.m. - 11 p.m. Free and open to all ages ULTIMATE FRISBEE

Every Friday Riverside Park 5 p.m. Pickup game. All skill levels welcome! FIGURE DRAWING

Every Wednesday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. cost is $3

upcoming events CRUSING FOR SCHOLARSHIPS

May 29 American Marine La Crosse 608-788-1909 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Tickets are $15. Annual fundraiser with cruise-style buffet, silent auction and fun! Sponsored by a group of business women who raise money for educational scholarships for girls and women in the Seven Rivers Region. LA CROSSE LOGGERS GAME

May 30 Copeland Park 608-796-9553 www.lacrosseloggers.com Loggers vs. Eau Claire 7:05 p.m. OPENING NIGHT with big event inflatables! Pre-game performance by the Phat Daddies. JUNE DAIRY DAYS

May 30 - June 1 West Salem 608-786-2289 www.westsalemwi.com Featuring a parade, fun run/walk, softball, big wheel races, music, chicken Q, food, bingo, tractor pull, clowns, soccer tournament, sawdust pile, speedway races and more. GARDEN FEST

May 31 - June 1 South Side Oktoberfest grounds La Crosse 608-781-2783 www.ywcagardenfest.com 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Hosted by the YWCA, Gardenfest is dedicated to bringing gardeners and gardening suppliers together in the environment we all love the most: the outdoors. Businesses and organizations can display and sell products during the two-day event. Reserve your booth today. Proceeds will benefit community programs for women and children. $3.00 admission for adults and $1 for ages 5-12. BRAMBLEBERRY B&B HOME TOUR AND GARDEN PARTY

June 1 W3684 Claire rd., Taylor, WI 608-525-8001 http://brambleberrybandb.com 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. $2 admission. Fundraiser for North Beaver Creek Lutheran Church youth group. The party is between Melrose and Ettrick off Hwy C.

art galleries BLUFFLAND BLOOM & BREW 119 S. 4th St., La Crosse (608) 782-BREW Monthly Culture Shock show, featuring live art as well as drawings, paintings, photography, and prints by local artists. HEIDER CENTER FOR THE ARTS 405 East Hamlin St. West Salem, WI 608-786-1220 x 4 http://www.wsalem.k12.wi.us/ Heider.html PUMP HOUSE REGIONAL CENTER FOR THE ARTS Open noon-5 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, and noon-4 p.m. Saturday. No admission charge, donations accepted. Features exhibits of local artists and performances. 119 King St., La Crosse 608-785-1434 www.thepumphouse.org. SATORI ARTS Unique hand crafted jewelry, Mississippi River pearls, ancient Chinese artifacts, Custom-made jewelry, original art works, and a variety of unique gifts. 201 Pearl Street, La Crosse 608-785-2779 UW-L ART GALLERY The gallery displays works by students, faculty, regional and nationally-known artists in all areas of art. The gallery is on the first floor of the Center for the Arts located at the corner of 16th and Pine on the UW-L campus. VISIONS OF LIGHT Stained Glass 129 4th St S, La Crosse 608-793-1032

farmers' markets CAMERON PARK

Every Friday, May - October 4 p.m. - 8 p.m. Downtown La Crosse Fresh produce, pasture-raised buffalo and beef, honey, maple syrup, plants, artists, handmade jewelry, paintings, beeswax candles, live performances and more! BRIDGEVIEW PLAZA

Every Wednesday, June - Oct. 8 a.m. - 1 p.m. Bridgeview Plaza parking lot

art exhibits “WHO IS A CITIZEN? WHAT IS CITIZENSHIP?”

ongoing Frederick R. Weisman Museum (University of Minnesota) The first in a year-long series of exhibitions and programs examining the role of art and artists in a democracy. Featuring 30 works from various artists. PAINTING, POTTERY, PHOTOS, JEWELRY

Northside of La Crosse

ongoing

LA CROSSE COUNTY

Edland Art Gallery (La Crosse) 608-785-2787

Every Saturday, June - Oct. 6 a.m. - 1 p.m. County parking lot Downtown La Crosse CROSSING MEADOWS

Every Sunday, June - Oct. 8 a.m. - 1 p.m. Festival Foods parking lot Onalaska WINONA

Every Saturday, 7:30 a.m. - noon Every Wednesday, 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. May - October Downtown Winona Featuring fresh produce, plants, hanging baskets, eggs, chicken, turkey, beef, elk & buffalo meat. Fresh bakery items. homemade jams, jellies & pickles, honey, decorative gourds, dried wreaths & Indian corn. Our herbalists bring tinctures, salves, teas, potpourri, vinegar & even catnip toys.

performances THE SOMEWHAT TRUE TALE OF ROBIN HOOD

La Crosse Community Theatre

GREEN BAY STREET STUDIO greenbaystreetstudio.blogspot.com 1500 Green Bay St., La Crosse Hours currently by appointment only.Various workshops, including painting and printmaking, coming this summer, as well as opportunity for full and part-time membership.

118 5th Ave N 608-784-9292 www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org A frantically funny, Monty Pythonesque retelling of the classic. June 13-15 and 20-21at 7:30 p.m. June 14, 15, 21, and 22 at 1:00 p.m.

ODIN WHITE MOTH GALLERY AND TEA ROOM 715 Logan St., La Crosse 608-769-3963 Hours are Tues: 12-3 pm, Thurs: 4-7 pm, Fri: 12-3, Sat: 10-2. Call for an appointment or more info. Enjoy some tea, art and vintage stuff.

Commonweal Theatre

HARVEY 208 Parkway Avenue North Lanesboro, MN 800-657-7025 www.commonwealtheatre.org Dreams and dreamers figure prominently in this 1940s comedy. Running from May 31-October 25.

HAND-WROUGHT IRON, ALUMINUM, AND PEWTER JEWELRY

ongoing State Street Gallery (La Crosse) 608-782-0101 SENSORY OVERLOAD: LIGHT, MOTION, SOUND, AND THE OPTICAL IN ART SINCE 1945

ongoing Milwaukee Art Museum 414-224-3200 European and American art, including Stanley Landsman’s Infinity Chamber, which has not been on view for nearly twenty years. Also featured is Erwin Redl’s Matrix, a 25 x 50 foot LED installation. LA CROSSE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT ART SHOW

May 4 through May 31 Pump House (La Crosse) Kader Room & Front Gallery WRAP (WISCONSIN REGIONAL ARTISTS PROGRAM) EVENT

June 6 through June 30 Pump House, Kader Room Variety of Media. Workshop is June 30, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. A SEASON OF ART

First Saturday of June - Sept. 7203 N. Shore Drive, County Z Brice Prairie, on Lake Onalaska. (Look for the white barn) Enjoy extraordinary shopping at an outdoor art fair. This FREE event is sponsored by the La Crosse Society of Arts & Crafts. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Trying to get the word out about your event? It's simple! 115

Email copyeditor@secondsupper.com and receive a free listing.

April May 24, 29, 2008 2008


COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 Mormon Coulee

Alpine Inn W5715 Bliss rd.

Alumni

620 Gillette st.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave.

Beef & Etc.

1203 La Crosse st.

Big Al’s

115 S 3rd st.

Brothers 306 Pearl st.

Sunday

Monday

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

bucket special

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close

Chuck’s

1101 La Crosse st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Buck Night starts at 6 p.m.

Import night starts at 7 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl & Karaoke starts at 9 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9 p.m.

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m. 6 - CL $2.50 Sparks

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of doctor, cherry doctor

3-7 happy hour

$2 Silos

$5 bbq ribs and fries

AUCE wings $5.00 free crazy bingo buy one cherry bomb get one for $1

bucket night 6 for $9

$6.00 AUCD

3 p.m. - midnight 25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr.

Italian beef w/dog meal: $6.69 Pizza Puff meal: $4.49

meatball sandwich sandwich meatball meal: $6.15 $6.69 meal: Chicago dogs meal: 22 dogs meal: $ 5.25 $5.89

Italian beef meal: $6.15 $6.69 Chicago chili dog: $3.45 $3.89

grilled chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 Polish sausage meal: $3.99 $4.49

hamburger meal: or cheeseburger meal: $3.69 $3.89 cheeseburger meal: Italian Beef w/dog $3.89 meal: $7.89

free pitcher of beer or soda with large pizza

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 Italian sausage: $4.95

$1.25 make your own tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2.25 margaritas, $2 off large taco pizza

$2.25 burgers, $2.60 cheeseburgers, $2 off large pizza, $1 fries with any pizza

soup or salad bar FREE with entree or sandwich until 3 p.m. ($3.95 by itself)

closed

$2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

Thirsty $1.50 Tuesday U-Call-Its

Martini Madness $2 off all martinis

closed

$1 Dr. shots $3 Jager Bombs

2 for 1 taps

7 - CL $1 domestic 12 oz $2 Stoli mixers

7 - CL Tequila’s chips & salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike-arita

7 - midnight Ladies: 2 for 1 Guys: $1.50 Coors and Kul Light bottles

7 - midnight $1 rail mixers $2 Bacardi mixers

7 - midnight $2 Malibu madness $2 pineapple upsidedown cake

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, Corona Light, Cuervo

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM

114 5th ave.

318 Pearl st.

Tuesday Wednesday

1/4 barrel giveaway 8-11 $1 burgers

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

The Cavalier CheapShots

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks

food & drink specials ]

10 cent wings (9 - CL) 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $1 High Life bottles $1.25 High Life bottles $1.50 rail mixers $1.50 rail mixers $2 Guinness pints

Wristband Night

batterfried cod, fries, beans, and garlic bread $5.50

$4.50 domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, $5.00 fish sandwich meal:meal: $4.99, Italian sausage Italian $6.69 sausage meal: $6.15

Italian beef meal: $6.15 $6.69 2 Chicago dog meal: $3.45 $5.89

$6.75 shrimp dinner

$1.50 bloody marys 11 a.m. - 4 p.m

Captain mixers/ $3.00 Three Olives mixers/ mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per hour) $1 rails

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors

closed

closed

$.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic pitchers, $6 microbrew pitchers

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Jameson Shots, $3.00 Mixers

$3.00 Patron Shots

$2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot mixers, featured shots, and 50 cent taps

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK BOTTLES $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT OF THE WEEK

$2.00 Captain Mixers

Wristband Night $5 COLLEGE I.D. $9 general public

$1 Kul Light cans

Topless Tuesday

Ladies Night buy one, get one free wear a bikini, drink free

Karaoke $1 shot specials

live DJ $1 shot specials

chicken & veggie fajitas for two

football night dollar domestic beer: $1.50 burgers Mexican beer: $2.00

chicken dollar primavera burgers

shrimp Great food and burrito drinks

chili Happy Hour 4-6 verde $1.75 domestics

Ask server Fish for details

chicken & own veggie Build your fajitas Bloody Mary N3287 CountyCoulee OA 5200 Mormon for two 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza domestic beer: $1.50 & PItcher of $2.00 Beer Mexican beer: $9.00

football night

chicken $1.25 primavera BURGERS

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99

beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95$1.25 16 oz steak

411 3rd st.

Fiesta Mexicana The Elite 5200 Mormon 412 Main st. Coulee

Fox Hollow Fiesta Mexicana Goal Post Fox Hollow 1904 Campbell rd.

N3287 County OA

Gracie’s Goal Post 1908 Campbell rd.

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

1904 Campbell rd.

Gracie’s Huck Finn’s 1908Marina Campbell 127 dr. rd.

Bloody Mary specials 10 - 2

Bloody Mary domestic Huck Finn’s $1.75 JB’s Speakeasy specials

127 Rose Marinast.dr. 717

bottles

10 - 2118 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 3

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6 shrimp

HAPPY HOUR 6HOUR AM - 9 AMEVERYDAY HAPPY free wingsof6 p.m. - 9 p.m. Bucket Domestic

gyro fries & soda

BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00 Buy one gyro free baklava, ice HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM get one cream or sundae beer pong 6 p.m. free wings - 9 p.m. half price with6 p.m. meal $8.95 16 oz steak

$5.99 gyro fries & soda

EVERYDAY BuyHAPPY one gyroHOURfree baklava, ice3 get one cream or sundae half price with meal

$1.75 domestic bottles

chili 25 Cent Wings verde

Bucket of Domestic burrito Cans 5 for $9.00

$1.75 domestic HAPPY HOUR bottles

3-6 HAPPY HOUR 25 Cent Wings 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

$1.25 domestic taps buy one burger HAPPY HOUR get one half price 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

-7 $1.25 and 9domestic - 11 taps buy one burger get one half price

$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs

$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS

$4 full pint Irish Car Bomb

Dan’s Place

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

Fry

Karaoke

reservations available

Ask server for details HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

buy oneHOUR appetizer HAPPY 3-8

GREEK ALL DAY appetizer half price with meal

buy one appetizer get one half price

GREEK ALL DAY appetizer half price with meal

$8.95 oz. steak get one16half price $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11 16 April 24, 2008


Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday LA CROSSE Sunday Area & drink specials HAPPY HOUR 5 food -7 $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy $1.75 domestic $1.75 domestic bottles bottles bottles 717 Rose st. Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday LA CROSSE HAPPYSunday HOUR EVERYDAY 4 - 8, $2 domestic beer and rail drinks $2 Love Stories The Joint HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 4 - 8,of $2 ALL DAY, EVERYDAY $1 shots Dr.domestic beer and rail drinks $2 Wu LoveTang Stories The $5 Teas ALL DAY, EVERYDAY $1 shots of Dr. 324 Jay Joint st.

COMMUNITY SERVICE [

$5 Wu Tang $1 shots of Teas the DOC! $1 shots of NIGHT the DOC! WING

324 Jay st.

Legend’s Legend’s 223 Pearl st.

closed closed

223 Pearl st.

The Library The 123 3rdLibrary st. 123 3rd st.

Loons Loons 1128 La Crosse st.

come in and find come in and nd out ... you’ll befiglad out ... you you’lldidbe glad you did

1128 La Crosse st.

Nutbush Nutbush 3264 George st. 3264 George st.

Ralph's In John's Bar Ringside 109 Pearl 3rd st.st.N 223

Ringside Schmidty’s 223 Pearl st. Schmidty’s Shooter’s 3119 State rd.

breakfast buffet $9.95 $1 cans 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Hamm’s

Shooter’s Tailgators 120 S 3rd st. 1019 S 10th st.

Tailgators TopS 10th Shots 1019 st. 137 S 4th st.

Top Shots Yesterdays 137 S 4th st. 317 Pearl st.

Yesterdays

317 Pearl st. LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn LA CRESCENT 444 Chestnut st.

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st. Speedy Taco 301 Kistler dr.

WINONA WINONA Betty Jo Betty Jo Byoloski’s Byoloski’s 66 Center st. 66 Center st.

Brothers Brothers 129 W 3rd st. 129 W 3rd st.

Godfather’s Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

$1 all cans happy hour day Packer games: $1.50 Hamm’s Coors Light Silver, $1 Dr. shots, free brats Fiestahappy Night hour 7 - 12 all shots day $2 tequila

hamburger $1.25 hamburger $1.25 cheeseburger $150 cheeseburger $150

bacon cheeseburger, baconmug cheeseburger, fries, of beer: $4.50 fries, mug offries, beer: $4.50 drummies, mug of drummies, beer: $5 fries, mug of beer: $5

closed

parmesan $2chicken mixers, taps, bottles sub $6 $1.00 OFF YOUR CHOICE OF FOOD

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7Southwest PM Italian sandwich $1.00 OFF CHICKEN HOOP DAY!! MAKE chicken pita w/banana peppers PHILLY, $1.00 OFF YOUR SHOT AND $5 and parmesan &6 CHEESE CURDS

YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE! HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM $2 mixers, taps, bottles $1.00 OFF CHICKEN HOOP DAY!! MAKE LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 $1.00 OFF YOUR PHILLY, $1.00 OFF YOUR SHOT AND LUNCHCHEESE SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY CHOICE OF FOOD CURDS YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45

$1 cans PBR

$1 cansLUNCH SPECIALS $1 cans CHANGE DAILY $1 cans Busch Light Busch Light Old Style

$1 cans

$1 cans HAPPY Busch Light $2 Bacardi

PBR $4 domestic pitchers

cans- 12, 4 PM - 6$1 HOUR 10$1AM PMcans

mixers

$2 Busch SpottedLight Cow & DT Brown pints

Old Style Bucket Night

Night $10, Bucket $2 Bacardi mixers, 5 for $9mixers $1.50 rail vodka 10 -1 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2$1.75 Bacardirails mixers, $1.50$1 railPBR vodka mixers mugs 10 -1

$1.25 Litedomestic taps all day $1.75 $1.50bottles rails 10 - 1

$1.75 domestic $2.25 Pearl st. pints bottles $1.50 PBR bottles 7 - 12

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Monday

$2 Rolling Family pack:Rocks $2 domestic beer 10 tacos & 4 sodas for $14.99

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans 8 - CL burritos onrails the go: $1.50 buy a bigBud onecans and $1.75 get a free soda

Sunday Sunday

Monday Monday

2 for 1 burgers 2 for burgers& $1 off 1Bloodys $1Screwdrivers off Bloodys & Screwdrivers

half price appetizers, Import Club Night: half price appetizers, discounts on Night: all Import Club micros & imports discounts on all micros & imports

closed closed

Monday

$1 martinis $2 $1 mojitos martinis $3 $2 margaritas mojitos & Michelob Golden pitchers $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers

family buffet 5 -8 kids familyunder buffet105 pay -8 .45 cents per year of age kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

5 for $9

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM 5 domestic bottles for

$2.50 margaritas Fiesta Night 7 - 12 Pointshots special $2$1 tequila bottles $2.50 margaritas

Sunday

$5.00 for $5.00 25 wings for 25 wings

BUCKhot WED burger, dog burger, hot dog or brat or brat

domestic $2$1.75 Spotted Cow & bottlespints DT Brown 7 - 12

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

$3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6 HOUR BUCK 3 - 6WED

HAPPY $1 tacos, Ladies $1 tacos, Ladies Night 2 for 1, Night for 1, 9 -2CL 9 - CL

Bacardi $1.25$2 Lite taps all day $1.50mixers rails 10 - 1

Sunday

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT DOMESTIC $2 MIXERS PINTS OF $1 PINTS OFTAPS RAILS AND CALL MIXERS AND TAPS DOMESTIC TAPS $2 IMPORT PINTS OF $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS

KARAOKE FLAVORS $1.25 domestic pints KARAOKE Wristband Night $2 double rails pints $1.25 domestic $3 Wristband Night $2 double calls rails $2 bottles $3 ALL double calls $2 ALLfilet, bottles chicken fries, pop: $4.75 cheeseburger, fries, pop: $4 cheeseburger, fries, beer: $4.25 pop: $4 beer:$4.75 $5 chicken fifilet, let, fries, pop: Philly or Reuben, fries, pop: cheeseburger, fries, beer: $4.25 mushroom/swiss, chicken filet, fries,fries, beer:pop: $5 Philly or Reuben, fries, Philly or Reuben, fries, pop: $4.25, mushroom/swiss, fries, $5.75, mushroom/swiss, fries, pop: $5.75,$6 Philly or Reuben, fries, beer: $4.25,$4.50 mushroom/swiss, fries, beer: beer: $6 beer: $4.50

$1.50 PBR bottles $4 domestic $1.50 Dr. shots pitchers after 7 p.m. $1.50 PBR bottles $2.50Dr.pints $1.50 shots Bassafter & Guinness 7 p.m.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 113 30 Walnut st. 17

closed closed

closed closed

Pizza & Pizza pitcher & pitcher Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball closed closed sub $6

3119 State rd.

$2 SVEDKA WINGMIXERS NIGHT $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS JACK MIXERS $2 SHOTS ALL DOCTOR $2.25 OF BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTSFLAVORS OF ALL DOCTOR

$1 taps $1 $1 taps rails rails 1/2 $1 price Tequila

25 wings: $5 25 wings: bucket of $5 beer: $12 bucket Packers of beer:games $12 during during Packers games

breakfast closedbuffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

120 S 3rd st.

closed closed

]

$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

Tuesday Wednesday

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $2 SHOTS OF GOLDSLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi Mixers $3 Bacardi Mixers jumbo Long Islands $3 jumbo Long Islands fish sandwich, fries, mug fishbeer: sandwich, of $5 fries, mug of beer: $5 fries, pop: fish sandwich, fish sandwich, fries, pop: $4.75 $4.75

AUCE fish fry AUCE DJ 9 fi- sh CLfry DJ 9 - CL

$3 Three Olives mixers $3 Captain mixers $3 $3 jumbo jumboLong Long Islands

Islands

$1.25 pints pintsgames during$1.25 Badgers duringDJ Badgers 9 - CLgames DJ 9 - CL

$5.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE. happy hour

$5.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

$1 cans Miller High Life Light $1 cans High Life $1Miller Dr. shots Light $3 16 oz Captain mixers $1 shotsIslands, $2Dr. Long $3 PBR 16 ozbottles, Captain mixers

Captain mixers $2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

Friday

$1 cans PBR $1 cans

$1 Dr. shots PBR $3 16 oz Captain mixers $1$2.75 Dr. shots deluxe $3 16 oz Captain Bloodys ‘til 7, $4.50 mixers

lite pitchers 7 - 12 $2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $4.50 lite pitchers 7 - 12

Saturday

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

Friday

$1 shots of Dr. Speedy tacos $2.50 Polish $1.50

$1 domestic taps gyro, chips, soda $3 Jager Bombs $5.99

$2 u-call-it 3 chicken (except top fry shelf) taquitos $3.99

Fiesta burrito $6.99

$2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Nachos Supreme Bombs & Polish $5.49

Thursday Thursday

Friday Friday

Saturday Saturday

Tuesday Wednesday Tuesday Wednesday

HAPPY HOUR 3:15 - 6:15 HAPPY HOUR 3:15 - 6:15 free pitcher of pop or all day: tenderloin tips,

all-u-can-eat spaghetti all day $5.45 all-u-can-eat 25 cent hot spaghetti all wings day $5.45 425- cent 10 hot wings 4 - 10

shrooms, fries tips, or po- free domestic withor tenderloin pitcherbeer of pop tato, salad,fries roll or $9.95 large beer pizza with shrooms, podomestic 50 cents offroll top$9.95 shelf discounts on all tato, salad, large pizza domestic on beer 50 centsliquor off top shelf discounts all liquor domestic beer HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM $1 off anything that pours $1 O-Bombs/ cent wings, $3 filled HAPPY 3 PM -10 8 PM 2 forHOUR 1 mug ($1 tap refills, $2 Bazooka Joes, $1 O-Bombs/ 10 cent wings, $3 fi lled anything 2 for 1 rail $1refi High Life mugrefills) ($1 tap lls, $2 Wristband Night Bazooka Joes, 9 p.m. - close anything bottles/kamikaze rail refills) $1 Highshots Life Wristband Night 9 p.m. - close bottles/kamikaze any jumbo, large, or large 1 toppingshots pizza medium pizza up or to 5 large 1 topping $9.99 pizza any jumbo, large, toppings: $11.99 large for $5) medium pizza up to 5 (get 2nd$9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

all-u-can-eat fish $8.95 all day: lunch: fish sandwich & all-u-can-eat fish $8.95 fries lunch:$5.45 fish sandwich & fries $5.45 $2.50 Three Olives Mixers $1.00 Long Islands $2.50Rail Captain Mixers $2.00 Mixers $1.00Domestic Root BeerPitchers Barrels $3.50 $6.00Shots “Buck-its” Hot Menu (6 beers for $6.00)

Saturday

Prime Rib specials, one child free Prime Ribeats specials, with one adult one child eats free entree with one adult 4entree - 10: house wines $2.50 4 - 10: house wines $2.50

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers $1.00 Long Islands $2.50 Mixers $2.00 Bacardi Rail Mixers $5.00 $3.50 Fishbowls Domestic Pitchers $1.00 O-bombs Hot Shots Menu& Bazooka Joes

4

May 29, 2008


Ã

Entertainment Directory 5/29 4/24-5/1 5/22 - 6/4 5/28 Sunday, April June 127

La Crosse

Popcorn PopcornTavern Tavern Something Jazz TBA

Thursday, Thursday, April May 29 24 The Warehouse Dan’s Place Misery Live DJ Signals, Four Letter Lie,9:00 A Plea for Purging 6:00 The Recovery Room Dan’s Live DJ Place 9:00 9:00 Live DJ Nutbush TheDJRecovery Room 10:00 Live Live DJ 9:00 Popcorn Tavern Nutbush The Live Moon DJ

10:00 10:00

The Warehouse Popcorn Tavern Paulie Parade, My American 10:00 Mayday Heart, The Graduate, Nighthawks Verona Grove 6:00 Dave Orr's Damn Jam 10:00 Friday, April 25 All StarMay Lanes Friday, 30 Karaoke

9:00

The Warehouse My Home Mechanical The Second Switch, Screaming Karaoke 9:00 Brain, Femme Fatality, Ridgecrest 6:00 Player’s Live 10:00 All DJ Star Lanes Karaoke Nutbush Live My DJ Second Home Karaoke Popcorn Tavern Shoeless Revolution with Player’s Comosapien Live DJ

9:00 10:00 9:00 10:00 10:00

The Warehouse Nutbush The String Dinosaurs,Union Live Second DJ 10:00 Pulse, Cardiac Radio, Tony Zobeck 6:00 Saturday, Saturday, April May 31 26 All Star Lanes Popcorn Tavern Karaoke Sterus

9:00 10:00

Just A Roadie Away... 10:00 10:00

Monday, April 28 Monday, June 2

Minneapolis

George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam Jam

population

10:00 9:00

Players DJ Live DJ

10:00

Nutbush DJ Live DJ 10:00 5 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 118

387,970

9:00 Death The Phenomenauts, Cab for Cutie,The AKA's Rogue Wave Orpheum Triple Rock Theatre Social Club Young Jeezy Myth Nightclub Zappa Plays Zappa First Avenue

Mon., Thur., 6/2 4/24 Fri., 4/25 Fri., 6/6

Tuesday, June 3 Tuesday, April 29

CloudTemple Cult, Mason FirstWilkins AvenueAuditorium Stone Pilots Proper Roy

Sat.,6/6 4/26 Fri.,

Nutbush Live DJ Nutbush

Cyndi Maya Angelou Lauper, B-52's, Tegan & Sara

Sun., 4/27 Mon., 6/9

Popcorn Tavern Open Jam Shawn's Open Jam

10:00

10:00

Live DJ Popcorn Tavern Paulie Popcorn Tavern

10:00

Paulie

10:00

Wednesday, June 4 Wednesday, April 30 Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr. Loon’s Comedy Night Loon’s Comedy Night Library Karaoke Library Karaoke Coconut’s Live DJ Coconut’s Live DJ Longhorn Karaoke Longhorn Karaoke Player’s Karaoke Player’s Karaoke Popcorn Tavern Brownie’s Open Jam Popcorn Tavern Open Jam The Joint Wu-Tang Wednesday The Joint Bang Camaro

10:00

8:00 8:30 8:30 9:00 9:00

The O'Shaughnessy Target Center

Madison Madison

population

population

223,389 223,389

Future Rock, Dark Party (featuring Eliot Lipp & Leo123) Buckethead, That 1 Guy Barrymore Theatre High Noon Saloon Sheryl Crow Alliant Energy Center Cartel, Ten Second Epic Majestic Theatre Stephen Marley Barrymore Theatre Tegan & Sara Barrymore Theatre Umphrey's McGee, STS9 The Avett Brothers High Noon (Sound Tribe Sector 9) Alliant EnergySaloon Center Cornmeal

Memorial Union Terrace

Sun., 6/1 Sat., 4/26 Wed., 6/4 Tues., 4/29 Wed., 6/11 Tues., 5/6 Fri., 5/97/10 Thurs., Fri., 7/11

10:00 10:00

Menomonie Menomonie

10:00 10:00

Charlie Parr

The Waterfront Bar & Grill Sat., 4/26

Elf Lettuce Polydypsia

The 5/29 TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill Thurs., Thur., 5/01

Irie Sol Kinetix

The TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill

Tues., Tues., 6/3 5/06

The Brothers LittleDewayn Marsh Overflow

The Waterfront Bar & Grill

Sun., 6/8

Heavy J and the Fantastics

The 6/12 TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill Thurs., Thur., 5/08

10:00 10:00 10:00 10:00 10:00 10:00

population

Got a show? Let know! Got us a show? We'll it in, yo. Let us put know! We'll put it in, yo. copyeditor@secondsupper.com copyeditor@secondsupper.com

population

14,937 14,937

Milwaukee population population

Popcorn Tavern All Star Lanes The Moon Karaoke

Ã

602,782 602,782

Brooks & Dunn Amphitheater Tech N9ne, Paul Wall, Ill Bill Marcus The Rave/Eagles Ballroom

Fri., 5/30 Wed., 4/30

Buckethead Lila Downs

Fri., 5/30 Thur., 5/30

Riversplash Latino Arts Festival Auditorium

Indigo Girls Park Sun., 6/8 The Presidents of the UnitedMaier StatesFestival of America The Rave/Eagles Ballroom Mon., 5/05 B.B. King Potawatami Casino Mon., 6/9 18 April 24, 2008


I'm Jonesin' for a crossword phorical feature 64 FedEx alternative 65 See 15-across 66 “Twister” director Jan de ___ 67 Full of small rocks 68 Golfer Ernie 69 Ingvar Kamprad’s company 70 Government agency “launched” in 1958

"Hard Body" -- seven parts of one. By Matt Jones Across 1 Punjabi prince 5 Part of ASL 9 Lawyers’ org. 12 Paid parkers 14 Ctrl-S function 15 With 65-across, lack of musical ability 16 Reluctant (to) 17 Negative pressure ventilator, familiarly 19 “All the Right Reasons” band 21 Biblical murder victim 22 Connecticut’s oldest university 23 Give off, like pheromones 25 George Gershwin’s brother 28 “Dinner & a Movie” network 30 Droop 31 One of Flavor Flav’s many 35 Buffalo, by another name 39 Studio sign 40 “Heart & Soul” one-hit wonder

T’___ 41 Cartoon dog with two rings for a collar 42 There’s no accounting for it 43 Trout variety 45 Paving ma-

terial 47 Actress ___ Longoria Parker 48 Org. adding the Seattle Sounders FC in 2009 49 Took the steering wheel

53 Soul singer Redding 56 Paul Simon’s wife ___ Brickell 57 What closers need, per “Glengarry Glen Ross” 62 Fast driver’s meta-

Down 1 Norah’s dad 2 Oldest of the Baldwin brothers 3 Meat in a convenience store 4 Confused 5 About 30% of all land 6 Anthony and Chagall 7 Conjures up 8 He sometimes smacks Stimpy 9 “Like ___ train up your spine” (Pink Floyd, “Cymbaline”) 10 Stanford-___ IQ test 11 Geometry measurement 12 It’ll get you moving 13 Provide goods for,

like a vendor Answers to Issue 117's "A Greet Addition" 18 Pretty big 20 Dances wildly 24 Intriguing group 25 “___ the Feelin’” (James Brown song) 26 “Mazes and Monsters” novelist Jaffe 27 Wistful word 29 “808:88:98” techno group 808 ___ 32 Repeated the last statement 33 Apply medicine to 34 ___ rancheros 36 Mushroom piece 37 Like some traditions 38 Bobblehead doll “Dexter” actions 61 Furtive 44 Exhausts, as time 63 “___! Open up!” 46 Schedule for another date 49 Martinique vol- ©2008 Jonesin’ cano Crosswords (edi50 Optimal tor@jonesincross51 They’re not on the words.com) level For answers to 52 Annoying hum this puzzle, call: 54 “Peer Gynt” play- 1-900-226-2800, 99 wright cents per minute. 55 Carnaval rhythm Must be 18+. Or to 58 Word before “boy” bill to or “girl” your credit card, call: 59 Test sites 1-800-655-6548. Ref60 Jaime Murray, on erence puzzle #0359.

Downtown La crosse, above fayze’s - 782-6622

Weekly 9 Ball Tournament on 9' Tables Every Saturday @ 3:00 $10 Entry Fee, 100% Payback

19

May 29, 2008


La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar

223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse - 608-782-9192 CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMM MMUNITY SERV R RVICE


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