Sometimes, I think I’d rather walk

By Mike Bollinger

There are times I wonder if owning cars is really worth it.

They are, in some ways, like people. They can be cantankerous, hard to get along with, stubborn and the older they get, the more they break.

I have two of them. This is not by design, one was a retirement gift. I really don’t mind the routine maintenance part, since as with any machine maintaining them properly helps them last longer.

One is a 2016 and the other is a 2003. If it matters, the 2003 was a retirement gift from the publisher of the newspaper I retired from in August 2021. It was a company car, which means it has been driven by lots of people and its maintenance history is probably not the best. The 2016 only had 4,700 miles on it when I got it, so it has been driven by me for the large majority of its life.

On a recent morning, I got in the newer one to head to the office, and the engine light was on. This was, of course, concerning. It was especially concerning since I was planning to leave the next morning to drive six hours and visit friends in the mountains of Virginia.

Fearing the worst, I took it to a repair shop on the way in. They plugged in a device that tells them why the light is on, then calculated the cost of the repairs. As I waited for the shop owner to emerge from his office, I had visions of spending a huge amount of money or not being able to take my trip.

Thankfully, the repairs were done quickly and for less than $100, even though I pulled in off the street without an appointment. Hats off to Stan’s Auto in Four Oaks for taking care of me and my problem promptly.

The problem was a valve that releases gas fumes. Who knew cars even had such a thing?

With the 2003, things tend to be more mechanical than that. The last thing with it was a stuck brake caliper, which ate up the brake pad because the brake wouldn’t release. Fortunately, when brake calipers do such a thing, they make a gosh awful noise. That caused me to have it fixed before even more things got damaged.

For some reason, this got me to thinking if there was a formula that calculated how old a car is in human years. I know, this is weird, but bear with me.

As it turns out, there is such a formula, which is available at www.jalopnik.com. It’s relatively simple. I’ll use my two as examples. You take the mileage on the odometer and divide it by the model year.

So, for the 2003, that would be 240,000 divided by 2003. That reveals the car is about 120 years old in human years. At that age, breakage should be expected, I guess.

For the 2016, the formula is 63,500 divided by 2016. That one is about 31.5 in human years, so it should have lots of life left.

I’m not sure how accurate this is, but it was interesting to find out. I know how I feel some days at 63, so it’s no wonder the 2003 is a little stubborn some days at the equivalent of 120. People tell me I’m quite stubborn and cantankerous at 63.

I wonder what I’ll be like at 120?