Publisher column: A beginner's guide to marriage

By Randy Capps

I walked into my BNI (Business Networking International) meeting recently and made a beeline to my friend, Johnnie Beasley.

I had agreed to do the group’s 10-minute presentation the same week that Shanna and I were planning to take our anniversary trip, so I had to let him know that I wasn’t going to be in town.

“We’re celebrating our 24th anniversary,” I said. He replied with surprise, with a comment on how rare that was in today’s age.

Now, I’m fond of saying that there are a lot of different ways to be married. What Shanna and I do — working together and spending 17 hours a day together, but then retreating to separate bed rooms — wouldn’t work for everybody.

But, then again, some of the things I see my married friends do wouldn’t work for me.

The American Psychological Association suggests that 40-50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and that’s certainly been the case in my circle of friends.

I’m proud that I’ve managed to stay married that long. It’s a testament to my wife’s patience and endurance, to be sure, but I also try to let her know everyday how much she means to me.

That’s one of the pieces of marriage advice I’d give. Another would be to take down the scoreboard. Whether it’s money, household chores or parenting, keeping count of who’s doing what is a road to nowhere.

The last one? Wake up every morning seeking ways to make your family happy. You’ll quickly learn that succeeding in that goal will lift you up as well.