Local youth learn
WATER SAFETY
at foundation-funded camp
Religious Trauma When most people think of “religious trauma,” they often think church hurt. What can be so harmful in these cases is that it's unexpected, which makes the hurt even more painful. I have been raised in the church myself and have experienced various levels of church hurt. What I can share is that the church is often not a reflection of who or what it was originally supposed to be. I love the church, I know the church is so much bigger than a building, but rather the group of people. So many churches today are more like a “country club” instead of a “hospital” to help heal broken people — what I think it was designed to be. What happens is when a church is trying to be a country club, it forgets that the people who attend and even lead are all broken themselves. After all, we are.
Michael Garner, LMFT
We have all heard the expression, “hurt people, hurt people” and this is very much what is happening in the church today. The past year and a half I have reflected a little more on the idea of a trauma-informed church. That sounds like a really neat concept, but I know all too well how difficult it would be to make this happen. This is another conversation for another day. When we see clients who have experienced any level of church hurt, I think it is important to just be there and listen without any level of shame or judgment.
Submitted by UNC HEALTH JOHNSTON
S
MITHFIELD — Johnston Health Foundation may be best known for its patient assistance programs. But for the second summer in a row, it has helped a group of kids at HealthQuest Fitness & Wellness Center learn how to swim and be safe around the water. During an eight-week camp that wrapped up Aug. 10, teammates at HealthQuest taught swim lessons and water safety to 75 elementary- and middle-school-aged children from My Kids Club of Selma. At the start of camp, only 10 of the 75 children felt comfortable in the pool, says Ashley Scott, director at the center. By the end, however, all but five of the children could either float on their backs or put their faces in the water and swim. In fact, nine qualified for the swim team or swim club. Swim instructor Lauren Gregg says 11-year-old Sage Brown of Wilson's Mills was among those who showed tremendous growth. “She couldn’t swim and frequently used the word ‘can’t,’” Gregg said. “But by the end of the
summer, she could swim half the length of the pool.” Sage loves swimming so much she wants to take more lessons, says her mother, Ciji Dobbin. “I’m excited she’s so excited,” she said. “Every week she tells me something new she learned.” In September when the family went on a cruise, Sage showed her mother how she could dog-paddle. “She’s inspired me to take swim lessons,” Dobbin said. “I just turned 40, but it’s never too late to learn.” Lynn Stanley, interim director of My Kids Club, said parents appreciate the lessons their children learn during camp. “While they may not all learn how to swim, they do learn water safety and how they can save themselves from drowning,” she said. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, drowning is the leading cause of death for children. In the United States, more children ages 1 to 4 die from drowning than any other cause of death. And for children ages 5 to 14, drowning is the second leading cause of after motor vehicle crashes.
That's something we should already be doing. It might be easy to say “stop going” or find a different church. But for many, this is or was their “family.” Maybe they have had other positive experiences, and they are just trying to make sense of how these positive and negative experiences can co-exist in the same environment. When I listen to my clients who have experienced church-hurt, I often feel they are torn between these two very different worlds. If we are not careful, it is at this very crossroads where our own bias can jump in and encourage a client to move in one direction or another. I think it is important to stay in the place where their two worlds are likely crashing in on each other without giving input, but rather by offering reflection and hope. How can they learn and grow from this? They might even be wondering where was God in this moment? Maybe even imagine with the client if Jesus himself (or fill in the blank with the more appropriate religious leader) was there, how he would have been feeling? My guess is Jesus himself would be sick to his stomach to see his “hospital” being run more like a “country club.” Maybe this is the very reason why so many churches are struggling today. Again, this is another topic for another day!
GARNER • CLAYTON • CARY • RALEIGH • HOLLY SPRINGS • WILMINGTON [ NOVEMBER 2023 ] • 17
