A Connecticut Love Story: Matt & Evelyn Lopes 55 Years STRONG!

Prologue

This story begins in 1947 New Haven. It tells of 2 New Haveners growing up around each other in the loving communities that were their environment. This was a thriving postwar New Haven with job opportunities for many of the returning veterans living in the City. Neighborhoods were evenly segregated with Irish, Italian, Jewish and African American communities living separately throughout the city. The African American communities included Dixwell, Newhall and the Hill areas of town. These communities were dotted with a myriad of institutions including churches, social and civic clubs, private businesses such as barber shops, beauty shops, corner stores and restaurants. There were multi-family homes to rent or purchase and public housing was being developed.

Matthew Frederick Lopes Jr. and Evelyn Miller were both born in 1943. Evelyn lived with her family in homes on Winter Street (behind the Elks’ Lodge), County Street and then Brookside. There was her mom, dad and older sister. Matt was a preemie baby who spent several months in the hospital. At the time of their meeting, both Matt and Evelyn were 5 years old entering Kindergarten at the former Baldwin School.

Evelyn’s Story

Before I started school I would be home with my mother and Grandmother. My sister had started school a year before me. When Eleanor got home we would play together, until Grandma called us in and gave us specific instructions as to what she wanted us to do, “Take this handkerchief; we could feel the money inside, Take it around the corner and don’t give it to anyone but Mr. Smitty”. When we grew older we found out that Mr. Smitty was a number’s runner. And he was always at the pool hall on Webster Street around the corner from where we lived on Winter Street. Later on in the day Grandma would send us back to Mr. Smitty and he would give us money to give to Grandma. That meant, Grandma had Hit The Number. When we got home Grandma would take the money and send us to the store to buy milk and bread.

I was 5 when I first met my husband, Matthew Frederick Lopes, Jr. Everyone called him, Butch. We were in kindergarten, Ms. Gilhooly, was our teacher at Baldwin School, New Haven Connecticut. The year was 1948.

When it was time for us to go to the gymnasium to practice Square Dancing he would always make sure he was my partner, he would hold my hand as we walked, two by two, through the hallway.

The thing about it is, he would call me names. As we grew older I told my sister, Eleanor, and she would say, he likes you. I couldn’t understand that.

The last day of the school year was called Promotion Day. Matthew would ask me weeks before if I would go to the Promotion Day Party at St. Luke’s Church, on Whalley Avenue with him. Even though he called me names, I considered what my sister said, and I would say, yes.

This went on for a few years until we both moved, the same summer of 1955.

I remember that summer because Eleanor and I went to visit our Grandfather in Stamford, CT. Grandpa was a Deacon at Grace Baptist Church, he also was a barber and owned his own barber shop, Moore’s Barber Shop on West Main Street. Eleanor and I would go to Sum- time I had 2 younger siblings at home and tried to help out where I could. I played with them and took care of them to help my mother and Stepfather. expecting him to call. I was indifferent, it was nice to see him as an adult. He was still cute.

The next year, 1956, going to school was going to be an adventure. Eleanor and I would be taking the bus together. I was going to Sheridan Junior High School in Westville.

It was scary going to a big school where you had to change rooms for different classes. Could I do it? All my friends were going to be there so that gave me some comfort. You’ll never guess who I saw the first day, Matthew Frederick Lopes, Jr., aka Butch. Can you believe it? He moved to the other side of West Rock, I was on one side and he was on the other. What a surprise, right?

When we saw each other in school, we would speak, just say Hi, nothing more than that. He moved again when we were in the ninth grade. I never saw him again until we were 22 years old.

I would take the bus to downtown New Haven, in 1965, to go to the library. My sister and I could not afford to go to college since my Stepfather was killed in a tragic car accident in 1958. At that time my mother was pregnant with her 7th child. So there were 5 young ones to take care of and no money for college. We had to work in order to help my mother financially. So, I thought going to the free public library was something that would be a good thing for me to do.

The next day when I got home from seeing a friend and going to the library, my mother said, a fellow called you. I said, who was it? She said he didn’t leave his name. This went on all week until I decided to go directly home from work. I get in the house and the phone rang. I answered and said Hello. Guess who it was, Matthew Frederick Lopes, Jr. Aka, Butch. I was a little surprised. The men that I knew in 1965 were not that reliable. So this caused me to pause and say, Hmmm. He asked me if I would go to the Yale Football game and to dinner on Saturday. I said yes. He also said, he didn’t have a car and would it be alright if he came and got in a taxi. I said that would be fine.

Hmmm

Well, we went to the football game, I think Yale lost but we had a good time any way. He took me to the Cape Codder Restaurant in Westville and we ate and talked and really enjoyed each other’s company. Hmmm mer Camp down the street from the shop. We had a lot of friends there, so we didn’t miss being in New Haven for the summers.

Grandpa often took us to visit his friend, Miss Pellman. She was a very pleasant woman that owned her own home. She would invite us to dinner. I liked going there because she always had something good to eat, This time, I noticed she opened a drawer on the buffet and inside there were pretty tablecloths and cloth napkins and all the things she used to make the table so beautiful. I was impressed. We didn’t have such nice things at my house. We had been invited to Miss Pellmans’ house many times before but I had never paid any attention to these things before.

We had moved to the Brookside Projects, on the outskirts of New Haven. I went to Katherine A. Brennan Elementary School for 6th grade. I was a very good student and had lots of friends. At the

One day on my way to the library I heard someone loudly call my name, Evelyn Miller, I turned and to my surprise again, y’all. It was Matthew Fredrick Lopes, Jr, aka Butch. I said, “Hi, Butch Lopes”. He said, “Are you married”?

I was surprised by that question. I had no thoughts of marriage. I had too many responsibilities already. I worked, I helped my mother, I took care of my younger siblings, I had to keep myself sane by trying to have a social life. My sister and I would go to the clubs to listen to Jazz on the weekends and meet up with some friends and have a laugh or two.

I didn’t have any special boyfriends, I dated once in a while to attend a dance or I asked a male friend to escort me to my Cotillion. I was very independent and had never wanted to be serious with any of the men that were in my life at the time. They were just friends.

So, Matthew caught up with me and walked me to the library. While he walked he talked, he brought me up to date as to what had happened in his life since 9th grade. He’s still a talker. When we got to the library he asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him, not really

We talked on the phone when he didn’t make a mistake and dial the wrong number, if he did, that would be the end of my getting a call from him that week. After dialing the wrong bumber, he would be imbarrassed to call again. He had phone phobia. We saw each other and went out when we could. He was busy too. He was working at Armstrong Rubber Co. in West Haven, 3 to 11 shift and he attended college. So we didn’t have a lot of time to be with each other. Which was alright with me because I had my life and responsibilities too.

He would come to my house to see me and my family. I think my mother grew to love him more than she loved me.

In 1967 we were with our friends Marshall and his wife while they did their grocery shopping, they had gotten married the year before. Matt told me if I could guess the total of their grocery bill he’d give me a prize. So, since my sister and I had been doing the grocery shopping for our family since we were 14 and 15, when our Stepfather died. I had a good idea what the total would be.

Of course I guessed correctly. For the prize Matt gave me an engagement ring, I was surprised, I cried, I said yes and kissed him. Marshall’s wife cried, the check out girl cried. We all were happy and excited. I did love Matthew Frederick Lopes, Jr.

I loved him because I knew who he was, he knew me, he was generous with me, he Read more about this aricle by going to theinnercity.com