The Journey Continues

March 18, 2023 improved quite a bit. I have gotten used to John not talking to me or recognizing me at all. This once impeccable dresser now comes out with his underwear on top of his pants or puts all of his clothes on at once. And guess what? I allow myself to laugh. I laugh because I think back to children being allowed to dress themselves for the first time, and this 72-year-old man is now pretty much my child who insists on dressing himself. I laugh because I know that if John were my John, he would never do any of these things. I laugh because I don’t want to cry anymore. It was crazy in the beginning, but now I just remind myself that this familiar stranger is my responsibility, and I will always do what is necessary to ensure his safety and that he has what he needs. This is the part of the wedding vows we often overlook when we say, “In SICKNESS and health, and for better or WORSE.”

It is important to recognize when something is different and act as soon as possible.

Consider writing down access codes, passwords, account information, etc., and putting it in a safe or file. Also, make sure you have a will or some type of written instruction in place for the person who may ultimately find themselves in the position of being your caregiver. During the power of attorney process, it became extremely difficult to access information because what I needed was in John’s head, so I often had to start from scratch.

In the beginning, I was ashamed to speak about John. I did not want people to know that he was regressing. But then I began to talk and found that everyone had someone in their family who had experienced what I was going through. The information I received was very valuable and just what I needed.

Recognize that not everyone will be in a position to help, but do not let that get you down. Not everyone is able to handle watching a person they know change so drastically. And that is ok.

Interestingly, I am writing about John today, as this is his time of year. John is a CPA, and this is tax season, so normally he would be working away upstairs in his office, doing taxes, crunching numbers, and using the floor and the stair rails as a file cabinet.

Alzheimer’s Dementia has changed all of that. There is no clicking away on the keyboard, no papers lying everywhere, and no curse words every now and then when the numbers don’t add up. Well, John still has one curse word in his head but only uses it when the doctor has to do something he does not like. Tax season is definitely different now.

John and I have been together for 33 years, and 2023 marks his 11 th year with Alzheimer’s. Notice I did not say that John “suffers” with Alzheimer’s, and the reason for that is John seems to be at peace. Unlike many others, John was never able to embrace nor accept his condition. It came on too fast to react or to even prepare for. But today, his demeanor is calm, and his eyes have a peaceful look.

I have a difficult time responding when people ask me how John is. See, if I say he is the same, then the assumption is that the Alzheimer’s has eased up. If I say he is doing well, then the assumption is that the Alzheimer’s has gone away. But if I tell the truth and say that John has gotten worse, people think he is laying in bed about to close his eyes. So the truth is, John is worse, but his “worse” is worse because he is completely nonverbal, except for that one curse word to the doctor.

John’s demeanor has truly changed. He is no longer the supercharged, aggressive, outspoken, alwaystraveling math wizard I met in

1989. John is very laid back, and his communication is now simply human touch. His hand touches my face. His fingers rub my hands and play with my rings and bracelets. When he plays with my wedding rings, I look into his eyes to see if maybe….but I don’t fool myself. He is pretty much like a child just playing with shiny things.

Nothing reminds John of me, but everything reminds me of him – mussels cooked in beer, tax season, B.B. King singing “I’m a Bluesman,” Ruth Brown singing “It’s a Real Good Day for the Blues,” the Pittsburgh Steelers, March Madness (of course John would be ticked off because Carolina did not make it in this time), the smell of meat cooking on the grill. Day-today normal things remind me of him, and I often long to hear his voice say “Baby Girl” and to share with him as well.

I guess we have both changed. I am so very protective of John and his privacy, as well as my own. I am careful not to “put him on display” because I know that is not what he would want.

When I spoke about John in March 2021, I referred to him as a “Familiar Stranger.” I no longer refer to him that way because I have learned

“this” John. I have learned a new way of communicating with him without using words. I have learned to step up and handle the business – his business, my business, our business. I have learned that “in sickness and health” and “for better or worse” have no expiration date.

I am no longer nervous or ashamed to speak about John and am happy to share all that I can in hopes that it will help someone else who is a caregiver to a person with Alzheimer’s Dementia. But unfortunately, there is still no cure for Alzheimer’s Dementia (I check with Nurse Dionne periodically), so my mission

...continued on p17 continues to be taking care of John, speaking on his behalf, and ensuring that he has everything he needs whenever he needs it.

I ask your continued prayers for me to continue to make good decisions where John is concerned. And please pray for John that the peace I see in his eyes is truly the peace that now envelops his life.

Thank you again for letting me share my husband with you, and know that I continue to be grateful for the support of family, friends, and new persons in this circle of love. God bless you. ❏ ❏ ❏

Statement From the Council of Bishops Regarding Department of Retirement Services Litigation

We write to provide you with an update on the status of the African Methodist Episcopal Church’s efforts to resolve the litigation relating to the Department of Retirement Services and to reaffirm the church’s commitment to ensuring that our participants do not continue to suffer because of what has happened to us.

Since we uncovered this devastating crime, there has not been a day that we, and the professionals we retained, have not worked to find a reasonable solution. Lawsuits limit our ability to speak freely about all efforts underway; however, to be cle ar, our constant concern and attention have been on full restitution of the mishandled, misappropriated funds and on limiting the erosion of any recovery through legal fees which will accrue with prolonged litigation.

Last month the federal court overseeing this litigation dismissed seven of the nine claims against the church. It declined to d ismiss claims against others, including Newport and Symetra, who allegedly breached the fiduciary duties they owed to the church. In February of this year, t he church participated in an initial mediation with all parties, and the church expects to resume that mediation effort in early May. We pray that our se cond attempt at mediation will successfully accelerate a resolution.

We are still doing everything we can to pursue justice and compensation from those primarily responsible. However, whether we recover from these entities or not, we are family and committed to ensuring we receive what we expected before we uncovered this matter. By faith and some evidence, you WILL eventually receive the retirement funds you expected to receive before we all found out about this abomination. Again, we thank you for your patience and cooperation during this most challenging season in the life of African Methodism.

Yours in Christian service,

Bishop Ronnie Elijah Brailsford, Sr., President, AMEC Council of Bishops

Bishop Adam J. Richardson, Sr., Senior Bishop ❏ ❏ ❏

Alexandria – Thibodaux District, Central North Louisiana Conference Eighth Episcopal District

African Methodist Episcopal Church: District Conference

The Right Reverend Stafford J. N. Wicker, Presiding Bishop

Reverend Dr. Constance B. Wicker, Episcopal Supervisor

Reverend Gwendolyn E. Snearl, Presiding Elder

Mrs. Almeta J. Snearl, District Consultant

Reverend Floyd Womack, Host Pastor

The District Conference of the Alexandria – Thibodaux District, under the leadership of Presiding Elder Gwendolyn E. Snearl, was convened on March 10-11, 2023, at St. Peter AME Church, in New Roads, LA. The theme: Intentional and Purposeful in Kingdom Building!, set the tone for a spirit-filled conference.

The worship experiences during this district conference were powe rful, soul–stirring, and timely. The Word of God was preached with power by the Rev. Delphine Sumbler (Opening Worship Service), the Rev. Alvin J. Rideaux (Sons of Allen Celebration), and the Rev. Vincent Mills (Closing Worship Service). These preachers stood tall and mighty in the Spirit.

The workshop sessions consisted of four impactful workshops:

1) Evangelism: Pathways to Church Growth – the Rev. Dr. Lionel Jackson – Pastor, Gaines Chapel, Natchitoches,

Director of Evangelism – A.T.D.

2) Christian Education & Church School Convention – What to Know and Do!, the Rev. Dephine Sumbler & Attorney Y’Lani Hayes, Director and Assistant Director of Christian Education, A.T.D.

3) Pathways to Generosity as a Lifestyle: Stewardship, the Rev. Agnelis Reese, Pastor, St. Luke AME Church, Montgomery, LA - Director of Stewardship, A.T.D.

4) Church School Literature as a Bible Study Tool – Brother Charles Hamilton, Assistant Church School Superintendent, A.T.D., the Rev. Louis Smith, Pastor – King’s Chapel AME Church, Many, LA

All the workshops gave pathways of taking ministry to a higher level.

We salute Presiding Elder Gwendolyn E. Snearl for her love, dedication, and superb leadership in planning such an uplifting and dynamic conference. District consultant, Mrs. Almeta J. Snearl, is to be commended for her perseverance and faith as she continues to share her love with the members of the Alexandria – Thibodaux District.

The Rev. Floyd Womack, Mrs. Sandra Womack, and members of St. Peter AME Church are applauded for their radical hospitality in hosting this conference.

We continue to praise God for his many, many blessings!

Respectfully submitted, Eddie Mae Williams Washington ❏ ❏ ❏

Growing Number of Christians Obtaining Payday Loans

Aaron

Earls

Finding themselves in a tough financial hole, many people have attempted to use payday loans to dig themselves out.

Self-identified Christians living in the 27 states without meaningful regulations on those types of small, short-term, unsecured loans often have a complicated relationship with payday advances and the lenders who timely. Those percentages are more than double what they were in 2016, when 16% described them as helpful, 17% as useful, and 7% as timely.

“Short-term financing is a real need for many Americans, so you expect to see a growing number of customers who appreciate the payday lending service. Yet, many describe payday loans with language that sounds more offer them, according to a Lifeway Research study sponsored by Faith for Just Lending.

More than 3 in 4 Christians believe it is a sin to loan money in a way that the lender gains by harming the borrower financially, and most describe payday loans as expensive. Still, 1 in 3 have obtained a payday loan, and a growing number see such loans as helpful. Most also want government intervention and church involvement around these issues.

“The proliferation of retail payday lending establishments has increased the first-hand knowledge many Christians have of these financial institutions,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of Lifeway Research. “The majority of Christians in states with few regulations on payday lending want more regulations that protect borrowers.”

Personal experience

For Christians living in a state without significant regulations on payday lending, 34% have obtained that type of loan for themselves—double the 17% who said so in a similar 2016 Lifeway Research study. Additionally, 45% say they know someone who has gotten a payday loan, up from 32% in 2016.

When asked which words apply to payday loans, most (57%) say expensive. More than 3 in 10 say harmful (32%) and predatory (31%). Another 10% say immoral. However, a growing number use positive terms. More than 1 in 3 say such loans are helpful (37%) and useful (35%), while 16% say like warnings than endorsements,” said McConnell.

When asked directly, 77% of Christians in states with few regulations believe it is a sin to loan someone money in a way that the lender gains by harming the borrower financially. Less than 1 in 4 disagree (23%).

Christians are most likely to say their knowledge about fair lending practices comes from personal experience with their own loans (25%). Fewer say friends and family (18%), the Bible (10%), articles and news stories (9%), or their local church (3%) have influenced their thinking on the subject. Hardly any say they’ve learned about payday loans from the positions of elected officials (1%), national Christian leaders (1%), or teachers or professors (1%). One in 5 Christians in states where payday lending is less regulated (20%) has not thought about what lending practices are fair.

Regardless of their knowledge or experien ce, most Christians underestimate the percentage of payday loans rolled over into a new loan with additional fees after the first two-week period. According to a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau report, 82% of these loans are renewed within 14 days. Only 9% of Christians in states where payday loans are legal believe rollover rates are between 81%-100%. Most (56%) believe 40% of the loans or less rollover, including 38% who say it’s 20% or less. More than 1 in 5 (22%) estimate 10% or less are renewed.

Government involvement

Christians in states without regulation seem supportive ...continued on p19 of increased government involvement in the industry. Close to 2 in 3 (63%) say 36% or less should be set as the maximum reasonable annual percentage rate (APR) of a loan, with 39% saying it should not go above 12%. Only 7% believe there should be no maximum reasonable APR.

More than 3 in 4 (78%) believe laws or regulations should protect borrowers from lending practices that create loans that the borrower cannot realistically repay without additional loans. Specifically, 84% say laws or regulations should prohibit lending at “excessive interest rates.” Fewer than 1 in 10 (8%) say no to either proposal.

More than 9 in 10 (94%) agree that lenders should consider the borrower’s income and expenses and only extend loans at “reasonable interest rates” based on their ability to repay within the original loan period.

“Christians expect far more regulations that protect borrowers than exist in these states,” said McConnell. “The Bible does not define at what rate excessive interest begins, but it does forbid it. So, it is not surprising that most Christians want to eliminate excessive interest rates (APR).”

Church response

While Christians in states where payday lending exists with little to no regulation want legal responses to the industry, most also expect the church to be involved in addressing the issue.

Nine in 10 (89%) believe churches should teach and model responsible stewardship and offer help to neighbors in times of crisis, up from 83% who said so in 2016.

When asked what they’d like to see their church offer related to payday loans, most (53%) point to guidance for those with financial needs. More than a third (36%) would like to see their church provide gifts or loans for those facing financial emergencies. Around 1 in 5 want their congregation to advocate for changes in laws or regulations (22%), care for those with repeating payday loans (20%), or deliver sermons that share biblical principles on fair lending (19%).

Around 1 in 10 (11%) say their local church offers guidance or assistance related to payday loans. Around 2 in 5 (39%) say their church does not provide those. Half (50%) are not sure. Compared to 2016, more Christians say they know whether their church is helping. Those who say their congregation provides assistance increased from 6%, while those who say their church does not offer help rose from 34%. The percentage who say they are not sure fell from 61% seven years ago.

Still, Christians in states with little to no regulation on payday lending say they’re looking to their church to provide some guidance and help on the issue, but McConnell says too many aren’t finding it. “Most churches are silent on payday loans at times when Christians desire advice and emergency help,” he said.

For more information, view the complete report or visit LifewayResearch. com.

Aaron Earls is a writer for Lifeway Christian Resources.

Methodology

The online survey of Americans in 27 states was conducted Feb. 22-27, 2023. The project was sponsored by Faith for Just Lending. A demographically balanced sample from a national online panel was used. This sample was screened to only include adults who indicate a Christian religious preference (Catholic, Orthodox, black churches, mainline, evangelical, and non-denominational). Maximum quotas and slight weights were used for gender, region, age, ethnicity, and education to reflect the U.S. adult population more accurately. The completed sample is 1,000 surveys. The sample provides 95% confidence that the sampling error does not exceed plus or minus 3.3%. This margin of error accounts for the effect of weighting. Margins of error are higher in sub-groups.

Twenty-seven states were selected by Faith for Just Lending because they do not have meaningful regulations on payday lending. The following states are included in the analysis:

Alabama, Alaska, California, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

About Lifeway Research

Lifeway Research is a Nashville-based evangelical research firm specializing in surveys about faith in culture and matters that affect churches. For more information, visit LifewayResearch.com.

About Lifeway Christian Resources

In operation since 1891, Lifeway Christian Resources is one of the leading providers of Christian resources, including Bibles, books, Bible studies, Christian music and movies, vacation Bible school, and church supplies, as well as camps and events for all ages. Lifeway is the world’s largest provider of Spanish Bibles. Based in middle Tennessee, Lifeway operates as a selfsupporting nonprofit. For more information, visit Lifeway.com.

Faith for Just Lending is a coalition of faith-based institutions working to end predatory payday lending. The Faith for Just Lending steering committee includes Catholic Charities USA, Center for Public Justice, Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, Ecumenical Poverty Initiative, Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, Faith in Ac tion (formerly PICO National Network), National Association of Evangelicals, National Baptist Convention USA, National Latino Evangelical Coalition, The Episcopal Church, United Church of Christ, and United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Ways to Resist Peer Pressure: Stand Your Ground

First Episcopal District Board of Christian Education — 2023 Founder’s Day Essay Contest

1 st Place Essay Winner – 8 th Grade: Anaya Robinson, St. John AME Church

Rev. Alicia Bailey, Pastor - Brooklyn, New York

Teenagers are often conscious of the terror of not fitting in and being bullied by those who consider others weaker. I ask mys elf these questions: Why does it matter what other people think about you? Why does everyone want to fit in or “be down?” Why do people bully the ones t hey perceive to be weaker than they are? Why do bullies look to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone who is vulnerable? Then it clicked–hurt peopl e, hurt people. Bullies feel low about themselves, so they must bring others down with them through insults, rumors, and fear. Bullies feel inadequate themselves, and they often function in a pack because they feel shielded in a like-minded clique.

In 1 Samuel 15:24, Saul followed the crowd; he could not stand on his own because he fell to peer pressure of rumors. I am not sure of Saul’s age in this verse, but peer pressure, cliques, and bullies are not specific to an age group. Yet, as many young people are developing the skills to handle challenging social issues, I take it as a personal challenge to find ways to help my peers combat this growing problem.

...continued on p20

The past two years have been critical for children my age. We lost friends; well, I lost friends, but not due to gun violence or anything of that nature. I lost friends because of the pandemic, not being able to see my friends, go to school, play, talk, and just be children. It seems as if we grew up without each other, and returning to in-person social life seemed hard. The friends that I had known before the pandemic were all doing things I did not like. I always told my dad I was different. Proverbs 1:10 says, ‘’My child, if sinners entice you, do not consent.” If my “friends” want to hang out after school and do things I know are not proper and I do not find amusing, I will not go with them. They may try to pressure me into conforming by talking about me or putting negative things about me in a group chat, and it may hurt my feelings, but I know I am my own person, walking in my own destiny. With a best friend like God, I cannot fall into peer pressure. I asked my friend what she would do to combat peer pressure and bullying. Her reply was (1) Tell a trusted adult, (2) Ignore the bully, and (3) Do not put up with the nonsense; confront your bully. My thoughts exactly. My advice to my peers who might be experiencing their own “friends” trying to pressure them into trying things they are not comfortable doing is “DON’T!’’ Likewise, if people are spreading false stories about you and trying to make you feel less than you are, remember that God doesn’t make no junk.

My hope is that my peers all stand their ground against bullies and peer pressure. Stand in your beliefs, knowing that you are a child of God, and he has equipped you with an armor so thick that no false stories about you shall prosper. No bully will be able to phase you. No peer pressure can hinder you (Ephesians 6:8-10 adaptation). My hope is that we will follow the words of Ephesians 6:14-17: 14Stand, therefore, and belt [our] waist with truth and put on the breastplate of righteousness 15and lace up [our] sandals in preparation for the gospel of peace. 16…take the shield of faith,...to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one[, and]. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

To my peers, not too many youths have that superpower of resilience, and it may get worse before it gets better, but do not give up; “[but] do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Mathew 6:34).

Stand Your Ground!

National Crime Prevention Council • Peer Pressure. National Crime Prevention Council. 2022. https://www.ncpc.org/ STOMP Out Bullying 2022. https://www.stompoutbullying.org/world-bullying-prevention-month

Revised