6 Minute
Siddur Snippets with Rabbi Efrem Goldberg Thanks to Yonatan Kurz for creating the graphic and for writing up and editing the Snippet
מאדם רע ומחבר רע When we say, “ּומ ָח ֵבר ָרע ֵ וְ ַה ְר ִח ֵיקנּו ֵמ ָא ָדם ָרע,” we are asking Hashem to distance us from a bad person and a bad friend. Not only do we want to be distanced from bad people, but we even want to separate ourselves from good people who are bad friends. What is the difference between a bad person and a bad friend? Are the phrases “ ”אדם רעand ״חבר רע״redundant? The Mishnah in Avos says “ וְ ַאל ִּת ְת ַח ֵּבר לָ ָר ָׁשע,ה ְר ֵחק ִמ ָּׁשכֵ ן ָרע,” ַ which means that a person should distance themselves from a bad neighbor and not befriend an evildoer. When it comes to the רשעים, we are only told not to be friends with them, because they are toxic people filled with negativity, and they are prone to bad habits as well as poor behavior. The Rambam explains that we are the composite of the people we hang out with. These people define us, mold us, and shape us, so when choosing our acquaintances and who we hang out with, we should be careful not to connect with the רשע. The word ִּת ְת ַח ֵּברcomes from the root of חברor חיבור, which means connection or bond, because we should not connect with people who are bad. But we must go even further when it comes to a שכן רע, a bad neighbor - it is not enough to just refrain from befriending these people; we must distance ourselves from them as well. Why is a bad neighbor more dangerous than a bad person? The answer is that we are much more vulnerable to a bad neighbor, because a bad neighbor is not necessarily a bad person, they simply just do not bring out the best versions of ourselves. Maybe they incite jealousy, lust or anger in us, or cause us to focus on the wrong priorities. Whatever the case is, it seems that אל תתחברis insufficient, and we must distance ourselves as well. A רשעis an overtly bad person, but a שכן רעis much more threatening because their influence is much more subtle. The Gemara in Berachos (8a) says that the definition of a bad neighbor is someone who has a shul in their city but chooses not to pray there. If a person can support and contribute his presence
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to the local בית כנסת, and chooses to not go to shul altogether or does so self-righteously, even if he is a noble person, he is a bad neighbor in that measure. As a result, we ask to avoid and be protected from a bad person, and prevent ourselves from picking up the bad practices of a potential neighbor. We also ask Hashem to help up cling to the יצר הטובand to good deeds; we already asked to be “”ד ְּב ֵקנּו ְּב ִמצְ ֶותיָך, ַ and now we are asking to be “”ד ְּב ֵקנּו ְּביֵ צֶ ר ַהטוב. ַ We not only want to go through the motions of the mitzvos externally, but we want to cling to them. It is not only about giving into the good inclination now, but letting it cling to us as well, allowing us to be transformed by our יצר הטוב. Additionally, we want to be able to control our יצר, so that way our natural inclination can allow us to control our יצרand let our second nature and instinct to be to serve Hashem. Rav Saadya Gaon holds that all of the 613 מצוותcan be traced to the עשרת הדברות, and the עשרת הדברותcan be traced to the First Commandment, and the First Commandment can be traced to the first word. All of the Torah comes down to the word “;”אנכי we need to see Hashem, feel His presence and love, and be able to reciprocate and calculate all of our moves in life based on what will give Hashem נחת רוח. In this week’s Parsha, Moshe says, “ּובינֵ יכֶ ם ֽ ֵ אנֹכִ י ע ֵֹמד ֵּבין־ה׳.ָ ” The big question is, which אנכיare we serving? Are we serving Hashem, or are we serving ourselves? We begin our day by asking Hashem to take away our impulse to serve ourselves and pursue our pleasures by indulging in our happiness. We want to conquer that voice of self destruction, and instead gain a second nature to intuitively serve Hashem. If Hashem can help us overcome our nature for wrong and give us an intuition for right, that is the best deed and the greatest חסדthat could be done for us. We begin our day by imploring Hashem to show us that kindness and compassion to train us to always do the right thing.
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