Table of Contents 5
Words from the Editor
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Celadon, Chinoy, Elements
8 10 12
Faith Ong
Joshua Cheng
Celadon, That’s the Name
Chynna Ramos
What is Leadership for You?
Joel Lim, Faith Ong, and Rainier David
Celadon Highlights of 2015-2016
Ervin Llobrera
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Turning Dreams into Reality
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Grace Under Armor: Inspirations from Mulan
Nicole Sean Chiang
Ria Chong
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Wake-Up Call: Carmela Lao on Anti-Chinoy Sentiments
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Chinese-Filipinos, the Oxymoron
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Singapore’s Mid-Autumn Festival
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Kuwitis, Lusis and Incense Sticks
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Every Day Love
Nicole Sean Chiang
Chynna Ramos
Robert Cuartero
Royce Chua
Rainier David
Words from the Editor “Welcome home.”
From there, we move on to how the ChineseFilipino culture today adapts itself to modern times. Beauty blogger, Valerie Tan, shows us that we can break the stereotypes. The Disney classic, Mulan, provides us inspiration to go against the traditional. And we tackle racism and the issues of Chinese-Filipino identity with algorithmic trader, Carmela Lao, and climbing the infamous Great Wall through a nonconventional relationship.
As a sophomore from the social sciences, I knew no one in the Chinese-Filipino organization, Celadon. Despite being Chinese-Filipino myself, no one from my high school batch went to this university. I was alone and I was nervous to join an organization of this size. However, as I began to participate in the projects, I got drawn to it. I can recall times of finding great delight in little conversations, of wishing to join a mahjong game in the org room if only I knew how to play, and of finding great fulfillment in my contributions.
And finally, stories of celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival in Singapore, Chinese New Year, and a love story of a young Chinese-Filipino couple gives us the chance to truly get to know the culture beyond our initial perception.
Before I knew it, Celadon became my home. And I believe this story is true not just for me.
May these serve to commemorate thirty years of being a home to its members. I wish it all the best in the years to come.
For the past thirty years, Celadon has been the home for many. It has been continuing in sharing the Chinese-Filipino culture inside and beyond the campus, while at the same time, it has allowed its members to find a close-knit community away from the rigors of academics.
I’m grateful to have the opportunity to spearhead this issue.
To God be the glory.
As such, this issue of Elements Magazine is dedicated to the 30th year anniversary of Celadon — a celebration of not just the organization, but of an evolving culture that it stands for as well.
We begin with founder, Wilson Flores, as he shares the formation of Celadon in 1985, a glimpse into what happened during its thirtieth year, and what the current leaders of the organization think of leadership.
Faith Madeleine S. Ong Executive Editor Associate Vice-President for Publications 5
Editor-in-Chief/Vice-President for Publications: Joshua Cheng Executive Editor/Associate Vice-President for Publications: Faith Ong Art Directors: Maxine Olaguer, Eliza Ann Cua Section Editors: Joel Anthony Lim, Marella Lozada, Dann Nielsen Dy, Lance Lim, Mieko Ma Photo Editors: Mark Yu, Quimbe Dy Circulation & Analytics Editors: Alyssa Cheng, Judy Sy, Pau Era, Robert Cuartero Writers: Chynna Ramos, Denice Yap, Dianne Rosales, Jodie Tanco, Joshua Harvey Chan, Ervin Llobrera, Joel Anthony Lim, Michelle Tiu, Nicole Sean Chiang, Patricia Pangilinan, Pauline Ang, Rainier David, Ria Chong, Robert Cuartero, Royce Chua, Sharmayne Yu, Zia Mikaela De Leon Photographers: Benedict Tiu, Hanssen Ongchan, Hillary Uy, Joshua Tan, Justin Clifford Ang, Moira So, Regine Janna Choa, Sean Lee, Zeina Denise Renacia Layout Designers: Benedict Tiu, Alyssa Cheng, Jasmin Tan, Aimee Ong, Dyane Chua Analysts: Hanssen Ongchan, Mauren Dy, Sean Sy Special thanks to: Founder of Ateneo Celadon: Wilson Lee Flores Interviewees: Valerie Tan, Carmela Lao, Kathleen Calansanz, Matthew Co Front and Back Cover Design: Erika Angeles Sponsors: Jesse Lui, Alexander EspaĂąo, Dianne Ashley Tan The Executive Board A.Y. 2015-2016
Ateneo Celadon is the official Chinese-Filipino Organization of the Ateneo de Manila University Copyright Š 2016 All rights reserved. Elements is the official publication of the Ateneo Celadon, located at Rm. 313, Manuel V. Pangilinan Center for Student Leadership, Ateneo de Manila University, Loyola Heights, Quezon City, Philippines Trunkline: (+632) 426-6001 loc. 5409. For questions, comments, clarifications and suggestions, message elements@ateneo-celadon.org Visit us at: elements.ateneo-celadon.org Follow us at Facebook: facebook.com/CeladonElementsMagazine Folluw us at Twitter: @ElementsCeladon
Celadon, Chinoy, Elements
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teneo Celadon shares the Chinese-Filipino culture: Celebratory tents across the Zen Garden, dice games, lion and dragon dances in campus, gala nights in Shangri-La Plaza. They’re givens. And we want to offer you more.
Chinoy Magazine started in 1998 by Oscar Franklin Tan, and it was revived in A.Y. 20142015 as Elements Magazine after a two-year hiatus. It established itself this year into the Publications Department as part of our commitment to make a Chinese-Filipino culture more accessible. We want to archive how the culture makes itself relevant, to highlight the familiar and the strange that make it unique, to show that it’s not a stranger in our Filipino culture. We seek to find the big and little things of culture that matter. And we believe that you’ll enjoy the ride with us.
Joshua Calvin T. Cheng Editor-in-Chief Vice-President of Publications
Celadon That’s the Name
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Written by Chynna Ramos
aturday, half past noon. It was one of those days best spent indoors. The air felt heavy on the skin, and the postlunch urge for sweet siesta caused most to drag their limbs throughout the rest of the humid afternoon. The designated venue for a journalism workshop was empty still. Empty, save for the man sitting behind the teacher’s desk. He was in a long-sleeved, plain white dress shirt tucked at the waist — composed despite the heat.
The man flashed a smile. “Good afternoon,” he said, with a warmth not often found on people’s faces under such conditions. For the man of the hour, Wilson Lee Flores, the beginning started at Ateneo. And what was a winding path would lead him to become the decorated business man that he is today — a multi-awarded writer, having won 3 Palanca awards, authoring 5 books, and regularly imparting his opinions via a column on the Philippine Star. He is also college professor, a real estate entrepreneur, and a bakery owner. Right now, however, the spotlight is trained on this one achievement which may arguably be the first domino in the line: Wilson Lee Flores founded Celadon.
the crucial role he played in ensuring it. With the big, bright smile on his face never waning, he asked me, “Do you still have Citizen Military Training?”
In 1985, college students around the Philippines were required to attend Citizen Military Training. The mandatory Saturdays were composed of drills and exercises patterned after the program for army training. College student Wilson Lee Flores wanted to spare himself from that. After securing a note from a well-meaning doctor, Wilson was assigned to what he calls “the light duty section,” where students were tasked to participate in lectures.
He laughed at the recollection of his own college antics. “It’s a very funny story,” he says, prefacing, before regaling me with his answer as to how the organization was founded and
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In that fateful group of people, the idea that would eventually materialize into Ateneo Celadon was ignited and fanned by those who believed in it. These were his peers whom he met on those fateful Saturdays. “I discovered and gained new friends,” Wilson Flores said, the memory still tangible. “Among them were fellow ethnic Chinese students from different schools of Metro Manila, Cebu, Iloilo, Davao and other places.”
Celadon whose presence ignited a positive force in and for the whole Ateneo community.
“I hope Celadon shall continue to benefit its members as well as help contribute to the Ateneo as a whole with Chinese culture and Confucian values, that it shall continue to strengthen its great traditions of excellence, discipline, fun and service.” He hoped for a Celadon that would forever live up to its name.
This gave Mr. Flores the inspiration needed to start planting the seeds he would later on harvest. He motioned for such an organization to exist and blossom in the Ateneo landscape. As a writer and editor for the Guidon, the official student publication of the university, Mr. Flores started writing about his vision even before the organization was officially approved — an undoubtable testament to his ambition.
And this name carries weight. More so than a badge of honor, it is a duty, it is a symbol that encapsulates the grand vision Mr. Flores had for the organization and its members.
“Well,” he started, “At the entrance of the old Rizal Library, there were glass displays of old celadon wares…” And beneath the displays, according to him, there was a label which said “Ancient Chinese Celadon Wares Unearthed in Batangas.”
Chinese in the Philippines? He asked himself. There certainly was a symbolical ring to it — a classic metaphor for those imbibing both cultures in equal measure. Moreover, these celadon wares — being an ancient kind of jade porcelain created by China’s master artisans after years of refinement — was a symbol of discipline and excellence. Culture, history, art, discipline and excellence — all of it molded in the shape of these gleaming jade pots called celadon.
I believe the Ateneo de Manila University community as a whole can immeasurably be enriched with such an organization which promotes Chinese culture and Confucian values.
When asked why he found it necessary for an organization such as Celadon to have a presence in the Ateneo, he answered simply, “Celadon,” Wilson Lee Flores whispered to “I believe the Ateneo de Manila University himself. “That’s the name.” community as a whole can immeasurably be Photograph from http://www.philstar.com/busienriched with such an organization which ness/2013/11/18/1257921/flores-address-axa promotes Chinese culture and Confucian values…The unity of ethnic Chinese students in this group can also be galvanized into a positive force to pool talents, energies, and ideas for undertaking positive civic and cultural projects.” Mr. Flores was looking outward, beyond the organization, and endeavored to build a
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LEGEND: EVP - Executive Vice-Present VP - Vice-President AVP - Associate Vice-President COMM - Communication Dept. CORREL- Corporate Relations Dept. CUL - Cultural Affairs Dept. EXT - External Affairs Dept. FIN - Financial Affairs Dept. HR - Human Resources Dept. PUB - Publications Dept.
Celadon Highlights of 2015-2016 Written by Ervin Llobrera
O
ver the course of A.Y. 2015-2016, Celadon has managed to successfully execute more than a dozen events that catered towards its advocacy of spreading the values of the Chinese-Filipino culture to all. We look back at the events that took place under Celadon’s care over the past few months.
Celadon First General Assembly: Wayfare The first Celadon general assembly (GA) for A.Y. 2015-2016, christened Wayfare, was held mainly in the MVP Roofdeck and various places around the campus in the morning of September 12, 2015. The GA allowed the old and new members of Celadon to interact with each other
through a team-based Amazing Race style event which also served as an introduction to the org’s different departments.
Photoshop Workshop The two-part Photoshop Workshop and threepart Skills Development Workshop series began with a back to the basics lectures on Adobe Photoshop by Erika Angeles, AVP for Creatives.
The Skills Development Workshops began on February 10, 2016 with a very informative talk on organizing promotional designs and Intellectual Property Rights by VP for Communication, Joal Rose Lin, and faculty, Tracy Monsod.
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Freelance One-O-One, held on February 4, 2016 was conducted by the blogging group, the Googly Gooeys. Celadon partnered with design organization, GRIDS, for the most recent Photoshop Workshop on how to make effective presentations for academic and organizational work on March 9, 2016.
Teachers’ Appreciation Week The superhero-themed Teachers’ Appreciation Week was held from September 28–October 1, 2015. It involved students nominating and voting for professors in the Celadon booths, found at the Kostka Extension and the Gonzaga cafeteria, whom respectively deserve awards from a range of thirteen categories. The winners of Teacher’s Appreciation Week are as follows: Most Legendary Professor Award: Aristotle Atienza (Male) Queena Lee-Chua (Female) Best SOM Professor Award: Sean Uy Best SOSE Professor Award: Jesus Lemuel Martin, Jr. Best SOSS Professor Award: Ambeth Ocampo Best SOH Professor Award: Miguel Lizada Most Wanted Professor Award: Miguel Lizada Best PE Professor Award: Richardson Gialogo Best InTACT Professor Award: Stephanie Puen Funniest Professor Award: Christopher Peabody Friendliest Professor Award: Christopher Peabody Most Fashionable Professor Award: Javier Gomez Most Underrated Professor Award: Daisy See Most Outstanding Department Secretary: Cristy Esteban
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Mid-Autumn Festival Celebrated during its run on October 7–9, 2015, the Mid-Autumn Festival (MAF) was held at the Zen Garden. It featured parlor game booths held under the Mid-Autumn theme where participants can have fun and earn prizes. The event culminated on the MAF night held on October 12 in the Leong Hall Roofdeck and it featured a gathering of Celadon members for the famous dice game event.
Marketing Seminar Under the theme of superheroes, forty-six aspiring Celadon members took part in the two-day seminar to have a shot at joining the ranks of the Corporate Relations department. The seminar exposed the participants to the rigors of marketing through seminars and a mock step-by-step simulation of acquiring sponsors, including contacting companies, preparing a memorandum of agreement and presenting a formal proposal to potential clients.
Photography Workshop Aiming to equip members with the knowledge of basic photography, the Photography Workshop, held on November 4, 2015 featured photography enthusiast, Gary Galang, who talked about basic tricks and terms such as ISO, exposure, and the like. After the informing lecture, the participants were made to go out and explore to practice their new-learned skills.
Junior Manager Program The Junior Manager Program (JuMP) is a six-session program that focuses to train the current Celadoneans to become the next leaders of the organization by equipping them with the necessary leadership training and information about Celadon. This year’s spanned from November 6, 2015 to February 5, 2016, wherein participants learned valuable skills in project management. Capping it with a graduation on February 6, the participants got the chance to let loose and get wet in a water battle held at Ocampo Field.
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Santa’s Attic: A Christmas Bazaar Santa’s Attic, was held in the atrium of Glorietta 5, Makati, on Decembers 12–13. The event hosted several concessionaire stalls selling a wide range of gift selections including head-to-toe clothing articles, food and beverages, stationary items and cosmetic products. The event also featured live performances by various Ateneo musical groups.
Leadership Development Program This year’s Leadership Development Program: Ascend pushed the future leaders of Celadon to go beyond their comfort zone as they undergo several challenges to develop their leadership skills, teamwork, and friendship. Held from December 14–16 at Shercon Resort and Ecology Park at Batangas, the event was met with an unexpected storm, but the program continued indoors when the weather was too heavy. Celadon alumni, VP for Human Resources, Isaac Cheung, and President, EG Dizon gave talks. In the end, the participants, the core team, and Executive Board members got the chance to bond together and form long-lasting friendships. Strikethrough A series of workshops catering towards budding high school student-writers hailing from
the different Chinese-Filipino schools from around Manila, Strikethrough: Breaking Cultural Barriers through Journalism was organized by the Publications Department. It was held whole-day on January 23. Students took part in talks hosted by experienced writers, in a copy-editing competition, and in various classroom activities. The event focused on how they could use journalism to tackle cultural barriers.
Strokes Held alongside Strikethrough on the January 23, 2016 at the New Rizal Library’s study hall for the whole day, the annual calligraphy and art competition Alongside a tour around the Loyola Schools, the competition had three categories: Category A for the art contest for grade school students, Category B for the art contest for high school students and Category C for the high school Chinese calligraphy contest.
Spring Film Festival The 10th annual Spring Film Festival showcased a wide variety of Chinese films for anyone to enjoy at the Shang Cineplex from January 29–February 7. This event was made possible by Ateneo’s Ricardo Leong Center for Chinese Studies alongside Credit Suisse, Ateneo de Manila Confucius Institute, and the Embassy of
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China’s cultural division. Ten films were showcased with the goal of promoting the Chinese culture which included Coming Home, At That Summer, and Angel Vera.
Binondo Amazing Race Celadon’s third annual Binondo Amazing Race was held last February 1, 2016 with this year’s theme as “Chinese Characters.” A total of eight teams participated in the event, while nine stations in between Ateneo de Manila University and Binondo awaited the participants.
“Team Triple C” (Sheena Chua, Raiza Cantos, Rhys Chua, Kaye Yao, Timothy Juan Tong, Daryl Tang, Renzo Ramirez) won first place with a prize pool of Php 8,000.
Celadon REACH The Celadon REACH project is a series of outreaches catering towards the assistance of less privileged children, who are part of the Right Start Development, Inc. in after-school activities programs at their activity center located in San Juan.
The first outreach on September 26, 2015, commemorated the Mid-Autumn Festival. Celadon members enjoyed mooncakes with the children from Right Start and played the traditional
dice game with them. The second was held on November 7, 2015. This time, the kids enjoyed games and dumpling making with the outreach crew. The most recent REACH project was held last February 13, 2016. In keeping up with the Chinese New Year spirit, the Celadon members explained the legend of the Chinese zodiac animals through a puppet show, a monkey puppet making session, and some games.
Rose Sale Celadon’s annual Rose Sale reached record-high sales, with roses, daisies, heart-shaped balloons, and assorted stuffed toys that made a lot of hearts flutter in campus, from February 8–13, 2016.
Chinese New Year Festival This year’s Chinese New Year Festival was met with crowds entering the Zen Garden to play games and win prizes during February 22–24, 2016. Lions danced throughout the campus. Wushu performances and dragon dances also took part in celebrating the Lunar New Year with the Ateneans.
Photographs from Faith Ong, Mark Yu, Justin Ang, Joshua Tan, Hillary Uy, Joshua Cheng, and Janel Dihiansan
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Some children discover their passions for the said “hobbies” but are scared of pursuing them.
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pursue her own interests.
eing judged is something we constantly experience. What makes this harder to deal with is when the people from your own community — the people who you expected to support your endeavors — are the ones you receive the most discouragement from. Despite that notion, there remain a few who choose to pursue their passions and charge through the challenges they encounter. For GMA News to Go segment host and beauty blogger, Valerie Tan, she finds herself fortunate to have supportive parents.
A graduate of St. Jude Catholic School, a Chinese school, she does, consider herself to have grown up in a seemingly traditional Chinese family. She goes on to note that she would be in school six days a week and still have additional extra-curricular activities. Though this may sound intimidating to others, she is still grateful for the fact that her parents allowed her to
When asked about her current occupation, she shares a little more about herself. “I’ve always liked being on-the-go, meeting new people, seeing new places, experiencing new things. I’ve always been outgoing so my inclination has always been with the arts.”
Her decision to pursue her passion, however, came with its own challenges. Despite auditioning for TV stints multiple times, she would get rejected because of the intense competition in the industry. This didn’t stop her, and she didn’t back down from the challenge. She continues, “Even if you get the job, you don’t quit getting better so it doesn’t really end with getting the job. You continue persevering.”
Typically, in a Chinese family, the arts are meant to be recreational activities for children
Turning Dreams into Reality Written by Nicole Sean Chiang 17
that can help develop some of their skills, but most of the time, they are not encouraged to actually pursue them as a career choice. They are usually meant to only be hobbies; however, some children discover their passions for the said “hobbies” but are scared of pursuing them. They are aware of the risks and challenges they will have to face when they venture to a realm of unpredictability.
time, the meaning of success has grown different from the past. Venturing into business is not the only option to become financially stable and successful anymore, and that’s what makes the modern age exciting. According to her, no matter what your career choice is, you can have a chance at success, “as long as you have diskarte.”
As mentioned earlier, some people in a ChineseHad not her parents been as supportive as Filipino society have certain expectations they were, she believes that she would have when it comes to their fellow Chinoys. still gone after her own passion for around one Sometimes, this is what hinders them from to two years “to get it out of [her] system and chasing after what they really want. They see how it goes.” If it still didn’t work out, she fear disappointment. In being able to handle would finally venture to other “more traditional” other people’s expectations of her, she instead options that she knows she would still enjoy comments on her gratitude towards having doing. She states that with the changes through a supportive family. She values her parents’
Venturing into business is not the only option to become financially stable and successful anymore, and that’s what makes the modern age exciting.
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Make sure you are good at it. Then never stop pursuing it. opinion and happiness over all others. “Anyone else’s opinion matters a lot less compared to that of my parents.” Being in an industry where standing out is especially tough, there can be struggles along the way in building one’s own identity.
There are many Chinoys out there who are struggling to even break away from being a Chinoy stereotype. Taking this into consideration, she believes that in pursuing what you really want, one should have the yearning and the drive to chase after it. One should also be wary if the opportunities you take are equal to your skillset. “Make sure you are good at it. Then never stop pursuing it,” she adds.
1st Photograph by Michael Hull from https://unsplash.com/photos/JibIPPrvITE Photograph from Ms. Valerie Tan 3rd Photograph by Joshua Earle from https://unsplash.com/photos/s00F6-W_OQ8 19
Grace Under Armor: Inspirations from Mulan Written by Ria Chong
“When will my reflection show who I am inside?”
I
’m pretty sure most of you have already heard of this popular song because, like you, I was also obsessed myself with it. Playing it on repeat every single day and singing my heart out to its lyrics — yes, I’ve done those too. Many of us can relate to every word of the song. Many of us continue to seek for answers to the questions on who we are and what we really want. We are unknowingly confused whether to be what other people expect of us, or to be what we’ve always dreamt to be. Hence, in the year 1998, such questions were given answers. After many years of cultivating the ideal perfect princess, one who is poised, graceful and beautiful, Disney eventually gave us the ultimate plot
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twist. Abandoning the habit of producing fairytales starred by damsels-in-distress and refined princesses, Disney took the risk and gave us Mulan. It was one of the greatest movies during the Disney Renaissance era that went side-byside with The Little Mermaid, Tarzan, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and so on.
It was based on an ancient Chinese poem called Ballad of Mulan, which tells the story of Hua Mulan, a young Chinese woman who took her ailing father’s place in battle by disguising herself as a man and fought as a well-respected warrior for twelve years unnoticed. Disney story consultant, Robert D. San Souci, admittedly said that the story fascinated him and provoked him to rewrite her story.
When the movie was officially released, it had gained a surge of public attention and admira-
tion all because of the new face of a woman we know as Mulan. From all the movies Disney has been creating so far, Mulan was extraordinarily different. Did you know that she was the first Disney Princess who’s actually not a princess at all? Because to be considered as one, a princess must either be royal at birth, or married to royalty, and Mulan was neither of these.
Moreover, Disney moved on from typical princesses in fancy dresses to a tough warrior ready for war. Disney conceived an awkward, clumsy and careless, young lady who is definitely not your ordinary princess. She can be stubborn and rebellious at times, making it harder for her to learn the expected duties of a wife-to-be. In her own words, she “will never pass for a perfect bride or a perfect daughter.”
After almost two decades, it’s funny how this movie still reflects the lives of Chinese-Filipino women today, most especially those who still dwell in traditional families. I, for one, know what it feels like to have to uphold the traditional Chinese mentality regarding women. I live in a family of eight with two brothers and three sisters. Unlike our brothers, it was never easy asking permission to hang out with friends, even if it’s just a ten minute drive. A strict implementation of curfews is also being practiced. A prim and proper demeanor is expected from us, daughters, at all times, and we do get reprimanded when we talk too loud.
Just like Mulan, these women saw they are also capable of having strength like warriors while simultaneosly being endowed with grace and compassion for other people, most especially for their families.
Nevertheless, we have appreciated, even loved, her deviation from the norm for the many enlightening things she had taught us in growing up. She stood up for all the things we, women, had been afraid of. We conditioned ourselves to fear our true identities in order to meet the demands of a patriarchal society.
The worst part is when women accept these demands that pose as norms: That they should follow a certain lady-like criteria – think like a lady and act like one. That their value or worth lies solely in their pretty faces or slim bodies. That if men sexually abuse or disrespect them, it is the woman’s fault for wearing “improper clothes.” That they have to be submissive in relationships. And Mulan showed a deviation from the so-called norm to show that we do not have to live up to those kinds of demands.
It had introduced the idea that maybe our princesses can also possess a grace even under their armors. Just like Mulan, these women saw they are also capable of having strength like warriors while simultaneosly being endowed with grace and compassion for other people, most especially for their families. She also taught us how to be completely honest with ourselves and how to have the courage to be who we really are without stepping on other people.
In the business venture, we feel belittled when much is expected from men than from us. Are they smarter or more capable? Or is it because you trust them more than us because they’re men? Furthermore, it’s difficult enough that we’re stuck in a turmoil of emotions that can be summed up with the line, “Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”
It’s very important for our parents that we stay home and remain sheltered rather than face the dangers outside because of the misconception that we’re incapable of taking care of ourselves. This evidently hinders opportunities for us to 22
learn independently and firmly, slimming the chances for us to gain significant lessons from the challenges we must face.
In this matter, Mulan definitely fits in as the best inspiration, not as a rebel nor as a freedom fighter, but someone who strives to find her essence while remaining a loving daughter. This is probabaly the reason why we continue to embrace her character, for she displays that, amid her successes in battles, in proving herself worthy and, most importantly, in displaying that women too can be as capable as men, she still went home. Her final act of returning to her family only signifies that while finding yourself, it’s also important to not forget the people who truly care for you. They will be constant reminders that there are certain boundaries that you mustn’t cross.
discover some way to be myself, and to make my family proud.” Because sometimes, it may be difficult to speak what is silenced in your heart while still respecting and understanding limitations. In the end, being yourself doesn’t have to mean offending and hurting the people who love and care for you.
Now, if you still ask, “Must I pretend that I am someone else for all time?” The only accurate answer is, “No”. Seek opportunities because only then will you be able to find yourself; and when you have found the comfort of being yourself, that is your real happiness. In fact, each one of us is indeed like a tiny bud waiting to bloom in the right season.
Believe in Mulan when she says “On that day, I’ll
Photograph from http://www.morguefile.com/ archive/display/843379
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Racists not only destroy a person’s confidence, but they also steal a piece of that person’s identity.
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Wake Up Call: Carmela Lao on Anti-Chinoy Sentiments Written by Nicole Sean Chiang
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s Alveda King once said, “Racism springs from the lie that certain human beings are less than fully human. It’s a self-centered falsehood that corrupts our minds into believing we are right to treat others as we would not want to be treated.” His statement rings shameful truth. Who, in all honesty, has not thought, spoken or acted in any way that could be considered racist? Before we start pointing fingers at our fellow countrymen, let us all take one moment to assess ourselves and see if we aren’t also guilty. Some of us may have now unconsciously and unknowingly accepted a lie as truth. Looking back at early 2015, who wouldn’t remember Tiffany Uy? Her near-perfect GWA sparked so much controversy online, partly because of her race. Her academic achievement has raised many anti-Chinoy sentiments, which have proven to speak more about ourselves rather than Tiffany Uy. People who know nothing about her continue to bash her online.
Is this narrow-mindedness at work? How shallow have we become to attack someone based on her race? There is so much more to a person than his or her race. We should know this by now, yet it is disheartening to know that racism is still rampant.
If we really think about it, what good does racism bring? What does it accomplish? A feeling of superiority, perhaps? But what does this superiority achieve if the person is hiding behind a computer? There is something twisted with the idea of racism and what makes things worse, we may all have been unconsciously doing it one way or another.
The victims of racism suffer the inevitable consequences as various impositions and stereotyping slowly become their reality. Some end up conforming to their labels because they eventually lose the will to stand up for who they know they are. Racists not only destroy a person’s confidence, but they also steal a piece
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of that person’s identity. Closing up in our own campus, we ourselves are aware of racism. When we find out that someone coming from this race doesn’t match our idea of what their race is supposed to act like, we judge them — harshly.
To no avail, people on the other side of the spectrum have spoken up for Tiffany. One such person is Carmela Lao, who is currently an algorithmic trader in New York. Having studied in both St. Jude Catholic School and in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the USA, she says that the “everyday surroundings” in a Chinese-Filipino school lead us to have this tendency of taking our heritage for granted; whereas in other areas, not many actually know about the ties between the Filipino and the Chinese. As a Chinoy who studied in the US, she notes that she was seldom labeled as a Chinoy; more often than not, she was “firstly a Filipino,” and occasionally a “Filipino of Chinese ethnicity”. Though she notes that it would be difficult to even attempt imagining being in Tiffany’s position, she commends the way she handled her situation.
She goes on to say that in MIT, “blatant acts of racism weren’t tolerated”, and were faced in a diplomatic way “through meaningful, intelligent dialogue”. On the other hand, when asked to compare the degree to which racism is rampant here and in America, she observes that in America, racism is relatively “louder” and expressed with “much more confidence and opinion”. To her, racism can be branched out to three kinds of acts, namely “ignorance/curiosity, opinion and actual racism”. Her observations have led her to conclude that for the greater part, the first kind is more often than not what really occurs. As she mentions, “When we see differences, it’s only natural to wonder.”
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There is nothing morally incorrect when it
comes to asking questions out of curiosity, and she sees these as a chance to correctly explain one’s culture to others, instead of us constantly assuming and eventually forming misconceptions of one another. The problem stems from not being able to tell apart people’s intentions — whether it was done out of ignorance, opinion or racism. “To the ignorant, educate. With those whose opinions differ from ours, discuss. And for those who continue to do racist acts while fully aware, pray.”
was able to handle racist remarks against her, she simply thanks her parents and teachers for showing consistent support. Instead of fretting about racist remarks, she was able to put her focus on the math and let the outcome “do the talking”. For her fellow Chinoys who were victims of racism, she says, “Speak up — this is our opportunity to make sure that future generations of Chinese Filipinos are welcome in their own home.” Sometimes, we feel that there is nothing much we can do in the face of racism. It is simply a norm we can’t break. But sometimes, we also need that wake-up call, something to shock us up and make us see what is happening in our world. If we can’t do anything about the world, certainly, we can do something about ourselves. Be conscious of yourselves. Biting back racist remarks can go a long way, if we all take that one conscious step together. Meanwhile, for the Chinoys and all other victims of racism, take a stand, and as Carmela Lao puts it, “Speak up.”
She also continues that some people may say that racist remarks are a product of people’s “right to their own opinion”, but just like any other right, it should always be exercised with “respect and open-mindedness”. On how she
Speak Up.
Photograph by Oscar Keys from https://unsplash.com/photos/AmPRUnRb6N0 Photograph by Eutah Mizushima from https://unsplash.com/photos/2TlAsvhqiL0 Picture from http://www.rappler.com/move-ph/ ispeak/97749-mit-graduate-reaction-tiffany-uy 28
Chinese-Filipinos, the Oxymoron Written by Chynna Ramos
Unbowed. Unbent. Unbroken.
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uch is the battle cry of House Martell as depicted in the hit HBO series known to us as Game of Thrones. However, it can as well be used to refer to the Chinese living in Philippines today as depicted in the daily episodic series known to us as reality. Admittedly and to their credit, some parents of Chinese-Filipino millennials have made an effort to loosen their grip on select traditions and practices previously regarded as indispensable but currently don’t have a place in the grand cultural landscape of the 21st century. But perhaps, there are just some issues, seen as too important, too central to the lives of their children, on which they feel compelled and duty-bound to remain unbowed, unbent, unbroken.
One of those is the topic of love and marriage. It is but characteristic of the traditional
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Chinese to regard romantic love as not a necessary prerequisite to lifelong matrimony, as is evident by the once-enduring practice of matchmaking. Today, however, the custom of the arranged marriage is considered archaic. Today, the young Chinese-Filipinos are able to exercise their freedom to choose which specific person they want to get their hearts broken over. Provided, of course, that that person has Chinese blood coursing through the veins reluctantly visible through their porcelain skin. And for the neighborhood cynic, marriage is naught but a piece of contract between the parties — parties, not participants — involved. For some of our parents, in that contract, written in not-so-fine print is the proviso that states the Chinese is for the Chinese alone. This is what it means to have a Great Wall. To have the freedom, but only to a certain extent. And if that’s the case, is it freedom still? Controlled freedom — the first of many paradoxes the Chinese-Filipinos have to endure.
Moreover, the Filipino are notorious romantics. expressions of love — I want you. Come hellfire It’s even part of the curriculum. Everyone able and brimstone, I want you. to boast of a high school diploma attained in the Philippines will be able to say that they So what happens? Who wins in this tug-ofencountered a 399-stanza long awit in the form war? “It’s a day-to-day thing,” answers a BS CTM of a poem, where for the most part this dude sophomore. “On some days, my Filipino-ness Florante laments about this all-consuming takes over, but I also do listen to the Chinese in longing he feels for this chick named Laura. The me sometimes.” Anne went into Ateneo with Philippines even has its own brand of courtship. the full knowledge — thanks to the constant Far removed from that of more flamboyant reminder of her folks—that she is not to and loud Western tendencies, the Filipino is entertain any suitors just yet, especially those more subdued and adheres to the old adage, who don’t partake in the same heritage. Anne still waters run deep. On the other side of this looks and acts the part of the quintessential cultural spectrum, we have the Chinese who thin, white, chinita — a “TWC,” as it is now aren’t necessarily famous for being a romantic referred to around hipster circles — and it lot. Love is sacrificed for more practical didn’t take long before someone took notice. endeavors. It’s is regarded as a luxury afforded by the few and not a basic human need, as “I’ve had a few crushes before. I mean, who undoubtedly most Filipinos would profess it to hasn’t? But hindi ano, e… It was never this be. intense.” Anne says of her blockmate and best friend. Right off the bat, they just clicked. What happens then when this opposing mentality is imbibed in a single person, a “He was the first college friend I made. Really, Chinoy? It’s a cross most people raised in both more than anything else, I think it was the fact the diverging cultures will have to bear. On one that our sense of humor just meshed well with hand is the, more often than not, begrudging each other’s. Kaya ayon. That’s where it started.” acknowledgement that yes, marrying within the Chinese culture is more workable. Growing “And it went downhill from there?” I dared to old with someone who grew up in the same ask. manner — surrounded by the same things, familiar with the same traditions, raised on the “Pretty much, yeah.” She answered with a laugh. same beliefs — would be relatively wrinkle-free, “I can’t really say that I made the mistake of with just a few small snags along the road. On telling my parents about him, because I don’t the other hand, however, the Filipino makata see it as a mistake.” Anne, born the optimist, in all of us lashes out against the idea of easy came to her parents with the truth — that a Photograph from www.wallpaperstock.net/ red-rose-wallpapers_w32493.html
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Filipino boy was courting her and she returned his feelings. Even though she knew that the chances of it happening were slim to nonexistent, still she hoped they’d give him a chance.
“They didn’t.” Anne said. “And it wasn’t even this big, dramatic scene. Nobody got slapped or anything. They just told me, calmly, to break it off.” To this day, the Florante of Anne’s life hasn’t given up yet. He continues to wait by her Great Wall, hopeful of the day he’ll be given a ladder.
to her Florante. But then perhaps, that was rather the point.
People with a Great Wall are often perceived as having to choose one or the other: Your beloved or your parents? Are you more Filipino? Are you more Chinese? What some people don’t understand is that we aren’t obliged to choose. Chinoys traverse the fine line in the paradox. They themselves are the paradox. Both modern and ancient. Filipino and Chinese, in equal measure.
“I don’t have to choose between them. I choose the both of them.” Anne said, still nursing the hope that one day there wouldn’t be a Great “I asked him not to fight for me, because if he Wall to conquer in the first place. But for the does, he’ll be fighting against my own parents. meantime, Florante, our quintessential Filipino And it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done — hahaha, oh my God, sobrang cheesy ko — romantic sits at the foot of her Great Wall, his but yeah, I even requested na wala siyang gawin guitar keeping him company, as he serenades for me this Valentine’s. If he bought me flowers, our quintessential Chinese dalagang Pilipina atop her ivory tower. The both of them hoping I wouldn’t be able to take them home.” against all odds that his song would turn her Great Wall into that of Jericho. Little does Florante know, however, that Anne has her own agenda come February 14. “So “Uso pa ba ang harana…” I ordered flowers for him instead.” It’s not traditional, far from it—the girl giving flowers
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Singapore’s Mid-Autumn Festival: Celebrating with the International Family Written by Robert Bryan S. Cuartero
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’ve always celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival ever since I was a child. During that festival, I could remember how I’d always look forward to the dice game and the mooncakes despite celebrating it only through school events, and only having my fellow schoolmates as family since we don’t celebrate it at home. As I grew older, I slowly began to feel that my experience of it was as half-baked as the mooncakes I ate over the years, gradually having a flavor that’s more on flour but less on the filling. I felt that there was more to it than just eating mooncakes and playing dice games in school every year. I felt like I wanted a more authentic celebration of the festival, and to know why this is celebrated in the first place. These thoughts were circling in my head as I celebrated this year’s festival, but this time, without dice games and family here in Singapore.
charms. Aside from those, festival fixtures such as Chinese lanterns and mooncakes were also in stock. Overall, the district was busy as ever not only because of the vendors trying to sell their goods, but also because of the people who were preparing for what could be a long, festive night ahead. I felt a bit overwhelmed when I saw how this community was celebrating this festival as I have never seen the FilipinoChinese community back at home celebrate the festival together despite spending most of my childhood in Binondo, Manila’s Chinatown.
On the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, I curiously headed to Singapore’s Chinatown district to see how the Chinese Singaporeans celebrate the festival. When I got out of the MRT station, I felt like I was transported to the Singapore from the 1960s as I saw lanterns of different shapes and colors hanging alongside the district’s Baroque buildings, a stark contrast to the modern skyscrapers and governmentbuilt flats which dominated the Singapore skyline. Housed by those architectural wonders were shops that were selling different kinds of goods: from Chinese delicacies, to Chinese lucky
It was a bit lonely to celebrate the festival alone, but after walking around the district, I felt like I was at home despite being away from it. I could not determine whether it was caused by the marketing or my ethnic ties with the Chinese community, but I felt like I was celebrating this 34
festival with a family of strangers. That was when I realized that I was “invited” by the local community to experience their Mid-Autumn Festival celebration. In fact, I wasn’t the only one who was invited for the party as people from different races gathered in this busy district to partake in the festivities. Through the festival, I could see why Singapore is regarded as a global city as I saw people from different parts of the world enjoying the Chinese culture. But I have to say, what struck me the most was seeing the gorgeous lanterns created by the Singaporean Malay and Indian students at the lantern making contest exhibit at Temple which reminded me of how the Singaporean Chinese are open to celebrate this festival with people from other ethnic groups. This openness made me feel warm and cozy inside despite celebrating the festival alone for the first time.
As the sun took a bow and gave the sky to the main attraction of the festival, the moon, Chinatown began to be illuminated by different lanterns that were either hung around the district or held by people. While the night was still young, I took the chance to visit a couple of happenings in the district. I first headed to the fireworks show where dazzling fireworks joined the lanterns as they illuminated the district, joining the people and adding more
revelry to the night. Despite all the lights during that evening, the experience felt a bit incomplete as the main attraction had struggled to illuminate itself due to the haze. After witnessing that festival of lights, I went to Kreta Ayer square where I planned to catch the annual stage play there, but I didn’t stay there for long as something beside it had caught my eye: a lion and dragon dance outside the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple and Museum.
At first, I found it peculiar as these performances usually happen during the Lunar New Year, but what I initially thought of as a mere dragon and lion dance was actually a procession in honor of Ushnisha Vijaya, a Buddhist goddess of longevity. Aside from the lion and dragon dance, I also saw monks taking part in the procession, and people holding candles placed in flower-like bowls as they walked around the temple. As I saw the procession, I remembered the story my Chinese teachers used to tell me about Chang He, who stole an elixir of immortality meant for the gods, and was punished by being sent to the moon with only a rabbit as a companion for the rest of her immortal life. After the procession, I went inside the temple 35
“There must be more to it than just eating mooncakes and playing dice games in school every year.” where I saw thousands of small gold statues around its walls. Alongside the statues were people who were praying to their gods. Seeing them pray to their gods, I was reminded of the festivity’s original purpose: thanksgiving. I remembered how the medieval Chinese would treat this festival as a way of giving thanks for a bountiful harvest. I admit that I’d usually forget this value at times, especially whenever I’d get the shortest end of the stick in life or even in petty things like being unlucky in a dice game. In the spirit of thanksgiving, I was thankful for the experience of spending an exchange term at Nanyang Technological University, and after realizing the value of thanksgiving, I was also grateful for an authentic celebration of the MidAutumn Festival.
As the people began their clean-up for the busy work day tomorrow, I headed back to my hotel and ate the Singapore mooncake that I bought earlier. Unlike the mooncake that I would usually eat back at home, the local mooncake here was much more satisfying as it had more filling than flour, an epitome of my authentic Mid-Autumn celebration this year. Although it’s sad that I would miss the dice game and the good company, I felt like I’d won first prize already as I’d gained better appreciation for the festival as I was reminded of its true purpose: thanksgiving, a value that I should carry on in my everyday life so I can re-experience the same complete feeling I felt from this year’s celebration.
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Kuwitis, Lusis and Incense Sticks Written by Royce Chua
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val, families would go to the temple to pray to the deities and/or ancestors, greeting them a happy new year and wishing for good fortunes to come. After which, they leave and go on with the other CNY traditions. My family, on the other hand, wouldn’t leave until the morning of the next day.
hinese New Year (CNY) is the most important holiday for the ChineseFilipino. It marks the first day of the lunar calendar and the start of spring, thus its entitlement of “Spring Festival.” Just like the Gregorian calendar’s New Year, the Spring Festival involves various traditions that allow the Chinese to greet — and influence — the new year with much joy and happiness. Many of these traditions involve merrymaking with loud sounds and the company of friends and family at the stroke of midnight. Tsinoys celebrte CNY in different places, such as their homes and restaurants. However, if you made a list of venues where you think it could be held, I bet “temple” would be very far down — or not there at all. A temple housing hundreds of idols of numerous Taoist deities that visitors would quietly pray to on a typical day; there are no monks that party there, but yes, that’s where my family celebrates CNY every year. Along with preparing a grand New Year’s Eve dinner and setting fireworks among others, it’s also a CNY tradition to go to the temple and pray to the gods and/or the families’ ancestors. Few Catholic Tsinoy families do this, but those who are Taoist or Buddhist still adhere to the tradition. On the day before the Spring Festi-
My family is a special case. Since my grandfather had the place built many years ago, we’ve been the temple’s caretakers, managing its affairs and playing host to its now numerous visitors. The Spring Festival is one of the temple’s biggest events, and although we generally follow the same traditions, the experience might be a little different from what Tsinoy families usually have for the holiday.
Unlike the variety of different foods Tsinoys offer to their ancestors, Tikoy, or the sticky New Year cake, is the only food offered to all the gods in the temple — Tikoy (年糕) symbolizes promotion or prosperity year after year. Visitors to the temple would bring stacks of Tikoy and Kim (金) — “gold” paper money that is burned to reach the ancestors in heaven — to the temple as offerings; because there are a lot of these, everyone helps in arranging the Tikoy in front of the idols and burning the Kim. Our
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family prepares the temple’s fireworks for the New Year, but some visitors offer their own fireworks to appease the gods, making the skyline all the more festive once midnight strikes.
As lively as the temple is during the last hours of the year, its real festivities occur once midnight strikes. Many of the temple’s visitors would stay there for a few hours to take part in the celebrations for the Spring Festival.
A few minutes before midnight, visitors would be waiting at the courtyard to set up the fireworks. People from around the neighborhood — even those who aren’t temple-goers – would gather around outside the temple grounds to
The striking of the temple’s traditional drum and gong would signal midnight. A number of things happen simultaneously at this point – the fireworks display being my personal favorite. watch the fireworks display; we’d even see children climb trees to get a better view of the temple.
The striking of the temple’s traditional drum and gong, heard all around the temple complex, would signal midnight. A number of things happen simultaneously at this point — the fireworks display being my personal favorite. The fireworks are lit at the first strike of the drum and gong. Various colors would fill the sky, and the sounds of the fireworks would
leave our ears ringing, making the applause from the crowds outside barely audible. Some Tsinoys prepare their own fireworks in their respective households, but the experience of CNY fireworks is indeed very different when you’re surrounded by Chinese architecture — homeland feels.
The experience of “being in China” for CNY is even more heightened by the playing of Chinese music by hired performers — you can’t get any more Chinese than that — which starts simultaneously with the fireworks.
After the fireworks display, the guests would head back to the main building to take part in other New Year traditions. Everybody would Tiam Hiu (点稥), praying to all the gods in the temple, wishing them a happy new year and asking for good fortunes for their families. After prayer, we all head to the main hall where tables are set up for everyone to take part in a small New Year meal. We provide everyone with Misua (noodles) and a variety of sweet candies. It’s a tradition for Tsinoys to share a meal with the whole family, but we also have friends and other temple guests joining us in the meal, accompanied by the festive still-playing Chinese music from the performers.
You may be familiar with the CNY custom of Shou Sui (守岁), the act of gathering and staying up all night. The Chinese believe that this increases longevity for the more elderly members of the family, as long as the younger members are up as well. Well, we, at the temple, would top this up another notch. It’s customary for the temple to be open the whole day on Chinese New Year, so guests could visit at any time. Believe it or not, there are guests who visit at around 3 or 4 in the morning! This is why some of us volunteer to stay up at the temple to welcome and entertain the visitors. We open the gates, let them in, give them Misua and candies, and simply play host. The temple also has to sound festive throughout the day, and the performers don’t stay long, so we play traditional Chinese records instead.
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In the early hours between 5 and 6 in the morning, when the dark night sky would just start to brighten, my cousins, siblings, and I would head up to the top floor of our six-storey temple. From there, we would feel the fresh morning air of the New Year’s day and watch the first sun peek through the horizon.
We do all this until 7 or 8 in the morning. All of us have to stay up, so we find ways to entertain ourselves when there aren’t any guests, like watching movies or playing videogames. We do this all night. It’s a little tiring sometimes, especially when we weren’t able to get enough sleep the night before, but it really is fun though! I find those hours of nonstop games and movies with my cousins very heartwarming; it’s a nice way to start the year.
After all those customs and traditions I’ve discussed earlier, there is one more I’d like to share. It’s a tradition that only my cousins, siblings, and I have started between ourselves, and it’s one I truly love. In the early hours between 5 and 6 in the morning, when the dark night sky would just start to brighten, my cousins, siblings, and I would head up to the top floor of our six-storey temple. From there, we would feel the fresh morning air of the New Year’s day and watch the first sun peek through the horizon. I love those tranquil moments of stillness as we wait and watch the sun rise in the distance. After welcoming the very first day of the Chinese New Year with a bang, it’s nice to also greet the first daybreak with peaceful silence.
Photographs from Royce Chua and www.gov.ph/2016/02/01/payrules-for-chinese-new-year/chineseny2/
Watching the sun rise: from the view of the temple
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Everyday Love Written by Rainier David
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veryone knows the standard romantic comedy plot: the meet-cute between the two lovers; the inevitable courtship filled with awkward shenanigans; the first kiss; the fight that ends up with the couple misunderstanding each other; the part where the two parties confess their reciprocated love for each other ending in a big darn kiss. Everyone knows the standard comedy plot to the point that anyone can write down the clichés just as yours truly did.
Kathleen was averse to that. “I prefer to trust a person more before dating. I am the type na I have to get to know the person before I give myself.”
Except the romantic comedy is a film; something that can be tamed and molded in our imagination. It is a genre that captures the highs and the lows of the two lovers’ mutual romantic pursuit. It is as if everyone is just asking for the part where the couple falls in love. No one is asking for the part where the couple is together; when their relationship begins; when their relationship is now an everyday event.
For the couple, a normal day together does not mean physically seeing each other frequently. “Sometimes, we don’t meet if we’re busy,” says Kathleen, a third-year Ateneo student. “Since CSB [the school Matthew attends] is trimester, we have different schedules.”
Kathleen Calasanz and Matthew Co did not have a fateful meet-cute conforming to conventional romantic comedy plots we usually see. “We’ve known each other since sixth grade”, said Matthew. “In high school, we became closer and our relationship developed in college na.” There were no awkward first date shenanigans, too.
Given these constraints, the couple makes do with communicating with other means for their normal day to ensue. Matthew narrates thusly, “Well, the day would normally start out with a ‘good morning’ text then we would talk about anything that comes to mind. Usually, she would start the topic and I’d be there listening to her. Sometimes, we would rant to each other about stuff that happened around us. The day would usually end with a ‘good night’ and an ‘I love you.’” Kathleen further states that they have other activities aside from the standard online conversation. “When we get home, we transfer from text to Facebook and we play games, like Hearthstone. That is how we date online, I guess?”
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On the few times that Kathleen and Matthew “and since we don’t see each other that much, meet, they almost always go to the mall. “Mostly I guess it’s become our way of conveying our twice a week,” says the former, “we meet at feelings.” lunch time and go home after dinner. We usually go to Robinsons Magnolia. On times that she Kathleen complements Matthew’s statement, doesn’t have that much time, I would visit her stating that everything in the middle is at school instead and we would just hangout whatever they feel like doing. “We’re both very anywhere close to the school [Ateneo].” introverted so we just want to be comfortable with each other.”
“...love is about the road taken together.”
When asked what they do when they do hang out, Kathleen says that they talk, eat lots of food, and react to the motions of the people around the mall. “We judge things and stuff. We’re both judgers,” she adds with a laugh.
One may say that the normal day in the life is borne out of repetition; actions that may be novel at the start but eventually, it settles to the ordinary and the routine. One may be tempted to argue that this routine may be banal and hurtful to a relationship; such normal days are mediocre when compared to the queasy, ethereal peaks experienced during the initial romantic encounters, which is considered the “honeymoon phase” of dating. Kathleen and Matthew argue that a relationship, such as theirs, is not founded on those fleeting peaks.
Everyone knows the standard romantic comedy plot to the point that the plot is now considered a “formula.” The chiseled leading man has to end up with the quirky leading lady by way of contrived coincidences or whatever wrench the writer throws for the couple to meet their destiny. This formula bears repeating because these things can be written. Not only that; these make the perfect formula. But this is the part that the writers, directors, actors, and maybe the audience miss out: that there is no perfect formula for love. Love is not about finding your chiseled leading man or your quirky leading lady.
“We’re patient with each other and learn to love each other’s imperfections,” Matthew discloses. Kathleen further strengthens this argument. “Most important part is to be comfortable, to find someone who you can be yourself with. Kasi if you’re pressured to be someone else in front of the person you like, then that person might not be “The One.”
Attraction can only go so much, and Kathleen and Matthew have gone past that. Their relationship is not predicated by a meet-cute. Or a big darn kiss. Love is not predetermined by those moments.
The communication between the couple is one way that they transcend the boredom of everyday life. They treat their conversations as unique and separate from the previous ones, given that each of their conversations provide different insights. “Well, I can’t really explain how the routine is special for me but I could say that it doesn’t get boring because we enjoy talking or texting each other,” says Matthew,
If there is fate, then love is a response to that. It is an everyday choice and a constant effort. It is a plant that needs tending, and more than the road leading to each other, love is about the road taken together.
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