Opinion

Give Life to Your Story: Quality Quarantine Time (and Beyond) BY JEREMY WILSON

“I ’m sorry son, I just don’t have time to do that right now.” How many times have we uttered some form of this phrase to a family member? Now insert the quarantine. Many of us are flooded with more home hours than we ever thought possible. I find myself asking, “Now what? How do I begin this trend of quality time? Why does this feel so unnatural? Who are these kids? Who am I? What store is running a great deal on tablets?” All these questions have raced through my mind at some point since March 16. Maybe you’ve experienced them as well.

WE ARE BOMBARDED BY PARENTING RESOURCES THAT TELL US TO SPEND QUALITY TIME INVESTING IN OUR CHILDREN. WHAT DOES “QUALITY TIME” MEAN? WELL THE TRUTH IS: IT’S ALL RELATIVE. IN OTHER WORDS, THERE’S NO STANDARD ON HOW TO DO THIS CORRECTLY.

Though there are many resources and in-laws who speak great wisdom into the “how” on family investment, my focus has moved away from “how” we do it, and now centers on the “why.” I think if we get the “why” figured out, the “how” will come much more naturally. So, why is quality time with our children important? Because your family needs you to be there. No, your mere presence isn’t enough. Altogether using multiple screens while being in the same room can’t be the yardstick by which we measure. If that’s the standard, then Uncle Marty’s ashes on the mantle are doing a wonderful job as a father. Being present – actively engaging and listening (yes, listening) is key. Presence means the relationship is giving and receiving. You’ve heard it said, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” This is absolutely true. Because your parents set an example. They may or may not have set a good example. In many cases, we learn great ways to do things like parenting. However, in some cases, we learn what not to do. Maybe your parents weren’t the best, and you fear not being able to overcome what they were. You aren’t defined by your parents.

IN CASE YOUR UPBRINGING WAS A ROUGH ONE, BE ENCOURAGED: WITHOUT STRUGGLE, THERE IS NO STRENGTH. WE OFTEN FIND OUR STRONGEST MOTIVATORS BORN OUT OF HEARTACHE AND DISAPPOINTMENT.

Because God gave you a mission field within four walls. The ultimate example of a perfect father is chronicled throughout the 66-books we refer to as the Bible. “But he allowed his son to die on a cross.” I remind you that God had his other children (you) in mind when Christ was crucified, and Jesus went to that cross willingly. The “how” takes on many different forms, but the “why” hasn’t changed in the past 6,200 years. While some are guilty of making every excuse in the world to get out of family time, our heavenly Father destroyed every wall and left no stone unturned, including the one in front of his own son’s grave. He did this to ensure that our quality time with Him would always be available. What better example is there than the one who is the standard for quality? And oh, by the way, he created time.

In short, if we want our time to be quality time, then why not draw close to the One who manufactures quality, created time, and desires strongly to be in an authentic relationship with His own children – us. That’s why.

Jeremy Wilson is new to the Youth for Christ staff. He, his wife Crystal, and his 3-children: Kayleigh (13), Liam (9), and Titus (6) moved to the Tuscaloosa/Northport area at the beginning of March. A graduate of Tennessee Temple University, Jeremy has been in student ministry for 12-years. He is excited about the opportunity to serve the community and teenagers of the Tuscaloosa area. Feel free to reach out and welcome him: jeremy@tuscaloosayfc.com

PHOTO: JEREMY WILSON

The Land of Oz: Monday Morning Quarterbacks Really Drive Me Nuts

BY DEREK OSBORN A monthly editorial piece of masterful opinionated writing (insert joke here) regarding life and times in the big town of Tuscaloosa, coupled with the musings of a guy nicknamed “Oz.”

here are plenty of Monday morning quarterbacks to go around. At the time this masterful composition was being carefully constructed (mid-April), the common theme among the talking heads was whether or not the President, the Governors, the Mayors, the (insert elected official you randomly want to blame here) acted swiftly enough to the Covid-19 outbreak. The simple answer is likely “no.” But as always, the simple answer almost never covers the complexity of the issue. And in this case, it doesn’t even come close.

Enter the Monday morning quarterbacks.

SIMPLE DEFINITION OF THE MMQB: A PERSON WHO PASSES JUDGMENT ON AND CRITICIZES SOMETHING AFTER THE EVENT.

Being a MMQB is easy. Being proactive in potentially SHUTTING DOWN A COUNTRY, OR A STATE, OR A CITY affecting the lives of hundreds of millions of people to help stop the spread of a novel virus we knew nothing about is not.

Here’s your reminder: we’ve never encountered anything like this before. The most common comparison is the Spanish Flu of 1918 which, by the way, didn’t even originate in Spain. During that time, there was a tacit agreement among some Western governments and newspapers not to report any bad news, keeping the information on the flu out of the headlines. Spain had no such agreement and disseminated the virus news at will.

WE GIVE YOUR FAMILY THE HOME TEAM ADVANTAGE

Good things happen when friends work as a team. Your friends and neighbors at the DCH Health System work together every day to make this a healthier community. And when we’re not on the job, we make west Alabama a better place to live by volunteering with civic organizations, charities and PTOs. You’ll even find us coaching youth sports teams. We’re proud to be your home team – to be Caring. For Life.

Fast forward to 2020, when news (fake or otherwise) flows freely like a waterfall into the depths of social media hell. Waiting at the bottom sits a vocal minority who are apparently experts on just about everything; the “woulda coulda shoulda’s” who have no problem judging your leadership and decision making.

Has the virus response been handled correctly at all levels? Probably not. Did we act fast enough? Probably not. Could this all have been avoided? We don’t know yet. Was there a Covid-19 instruction manual available back in January? No. SHOULD WE ACTIVELY JUDGE OTH

ERS FOR DOING THE BEST THEY CAN IN A SITUATION THEY NEVER THOUGHT THEY’D ENCOUNTER?

If that is what makes you happy, then knock yourself out.

In the meantime, here is something interesting to try: if you hear someone on radio or television or anywhere else for that matter state that we didn’t do enough fast enough, and that they would have most certainly done it better, go check their social media feeds to see what they were doing in February. You’ll likely find that none of them were flexing their own personal option of social distancing, even when they “were aware of the danger.”

If being a leader was easy, everybody would do it. Let’s learn from our mistakes and become better – and cut out the Monday morning quarterbacking.

Derek Osborn is a non-profit and addictions and prevention speaker and consultant. He lives in Tuscaloosa with his wife, Lynn, and their daughters, Savannah and Anica. Follow him on Twitter @ozborn34. PHOTO: DEREK OSBORNE

18 OPINION

The Mommy Chronicles: Lessons Learned During a Pandemic BY MARLENA RICE

s a work from home mom during this school year, I worked hard to find a good balance between freedom, work, and time with my family.

So, while these things I’ve learned to perfect over the last seven+ months may seem small, I’ve learned how significant those two 15-minute drives were in my day – and how much they mean to my physical and mental health.

Fast forward to now. Gone are the days I pick up my Little and head out for ice-cream and a nice walk before we head home. Gone also are the days I come home in the mornings to an empty house for a full day of nothing but silence and work.

IF I’VE LEARNED NOTHING ELSE DURING THIS PANDEMIC, I’VE LEARNED HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE STRUCTURE.

I’ve learned how to manage my mental health. And I understand how to sort through the important things and the things that don’t really matter. I’m not a teacher, and I don’t have to pretend to be one. I started e-learning on day one with a notebook and pen, ready to jot done every single task my Little completed to make sure we were “keeping up” with what his normal school day would be like. Scratch this. Normal is gone, and it’s okay. E-learning is meant to be flexible, so test the limits and find the right time and length of day specifically suitable for your Little. Work is work, but family is family. Don’t stress if you can’t sit at your desk for eight full hours, especially if you are homeschooling. Work an hour and teach an hour if you can. Also, setting up your child’s study station next to your workstation keeps you together while being able to manage productivity. Enjoy the time more than anything. Beaux William works in his math workbook during his daily e-learning lessons. Photo: Marlena Rice

MANY OF US ARE GETTING MORE TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN NOW THAN WE’VE EVER HAD. SET ASIDE THE FRUSTRATIONS AND APPRECIATE IT.

I need to keep up self-care, and it is important for my Little too. Yes, we are stuck at home, but it’s still important for us to wake up, get dressed, and keep some routine in our lives. For the moms with six-year-old little boys… showers and teeth brushing are optional. Marlena Rice is a busy mom and writer who lives in Tuscaloosa with her husband, Rod, and their son, Beaux William. Check out her blog at heartfullybuilt.com.

Lake Living: Deep Breaths as We Collectively Adapt to the Unknown

BY ALLISON ADAMS e are finding just how connected we all are. We have discovered how much we NEED connection and that connection, even at a distance, is the way “through.” Love moves people to act together to find solutions. We are seeing a movement of Americans taking their place in healing ournation and our world. As the internet is loaded with workers trying to maintain business, groups of coaches bombarding to train us for when the gates open again to life, and television shows doing dailycounts, there is somehow a softness in the ability to be home, to be quiet and alone. W

The writer in me has the urge to document every day – so I never forget. I am using Trello (because it is free) to keep pictures of how each day begins and ends (you know we love food and the outdoors here) as the days blend together. I’m also finding a need to reach out to those I know and love but have lost touch with. So, this May, pull out the old stationery, curl up in a sunny corner, and write a love letter (or two or three or four) to those you haven’t seen in forever. Make the effort to connect, even in some small way. Some writers type and email (that is the way of the world) but there is nothing like a great letter. There is a connection to the brain, the heart, and the hand. Writing in cursive is a lost art that I am sad to see disappear in our children.

WE ARE ALL A PATCHWORK OF DIFFERENCES, YET EACH HOME IN EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD ACROSS EVERY STATE, REGION, AND COUNTRY IS WOVEN WITH A THREAD OF SIMILARITIES AS WE ALL COLLECTIVELY TRY TO ADAPT TO THE UNKNOWN.

Fear breeds separation and isolation. Our children are watching parents cyber bully people for expressing their own feelings.We need to make every effort we can to do better, to be as kind as we can be (even when we’re stressed).

We will find that, as we did after 9/11, we will survive, and we will live differently. When will we be able to gather? Will we be able to have normal events again?What, exactly, will “normal” look like?

When the floodgates open, let us all vow to live more authentically, more peacefully, and with more intention than ever.

May God bless you and your family, Allison