young at heart it’s never too late to live a life you love.
Former Actress
Evie Carney
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DR. LAURIE CAGLE, O.D. 402 Access Road • Fulton, MS 38843 • 662-862-EYES (3937) Mon.-Thu.8:30a.m.-5:00p.m. • Open two Fridays a month 8:30a.m.-5:00p.m
Young at Heart Editor Leslie Criss Reporters Riley Manning Michaela Morris Ginna Parsons Derek W. Russell M. Scott Morris Columnists Kathy Van Cleave Peggy Oakes Photography Lauren Wood Adam Robison Thomas Wells Design Ellie Turner Advertising Director Richard Crenshaw Special Section Advertising Coordinator Amy Speck Young at Heart is a bi-annual publication of the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal. To subscribe to the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, call (662) 842-2611. To advertise, call (662) 678-1611.
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Table of Contents Features
Foster Grandparents 7 In Home Services 13 Home Sweet, Smaller Home 16 MLK Crusaders 18
Profiles
Evie Carney 23 Mary Thomas 27 Tillmon Calvert 30 Millie McDaniel 32
Check out our video of the MLK Crusaders at djournal.com
Expert’s Corner
Navigating Alzheimer’s 11 Moving Closer to Family 34 djournal.com
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Foster grandparent Myrtha Booker walks with Susan, a client at the North Mississippi Regional Center.
Foster Grandparents It is a typical day for Myrtha Booker, 79, of Oxford, and Minnie Chalmers, 81, of Water Valley, as they joke about who looks older. Booker and Chalmers are foster grandparents for The Lafayette County Foster Grandparent Program. Their station is at The North Mississippi Regional Center. Story by Kareem Jones Photos by Lauren Wood djournal.com
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Booker, who lives alone, says the program gives her the opportunity to get out and socialize. “I like to mingle with people. Coming out here helps very much because you get to mingle with people and socialize with them. I don’t have to sit around the house and sit in one chair all day. Who wants to watch that old television all day? Booker says she spends the rest of her day keeping herself busy doing things that challenge her mentally. “I knit a while and read a while,” she said. “Then I work puzzles a while. That’s entertainment to me after I leave from out here.” Chalmers says she became aware of the program after she retired when another foster grandparent told her about the opportunity. “I chose it because I like it and I love people,” Chalmers says. “I worked at the Baptist Hospital in Memphis almost 38 years. So, I love people. I just enjoy being here and working with the rest of the grandparents.” Booker says she finds joy in being a foster grandparent. She says the clients enjoy spending time with them. “We just enjoy each other and the clients. They enjoy us hugging them, combing their hair, fixing their shoes and helping them [put on] their clothes.” In addition, Booker says the program is entertainment for the foster grandparents as well as the clients. “I think it’s a very nice program for someone who likes to stay active and not stay at home all the time in one chair. It’s nice to come out for entertainment. I think you entertain them as well as they entertain you. It’s enjoyable work.” Chalmers says she likes working with the foster grandparents and assisting her client. “I just enjoy being here and working with the rest of the grandparents. I like feeding my client.” Earline Blake, 62, of Oxford, worked at The North Mississippi Regional Center before serving as a foster grandparent. “I said when I retired I wanted to work with the program,” Blake says. “I felt I would be a benefit to it.” Blake says the program keeps seniors from focusing on negative things as a result of getting older. “If [people] are interested in the program, it gives them something to do and you will not think about your pains.” Arledia Bennett, director of The Lafayette County Foster 8
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Grandparent Program since 1977, says, when referring to the foster grandparents, “once they start with this program, they treat these kids like they were their own [grandchildren]. They look forward to getting up in the morning. A lot of them don’t worry about their aches and pains anymore because they know they got to get up and they know they got to be some place.” Booker says there is one disappointment, however. She says she misses the client she was assigned to as a foster grandparent. “She went home. I miss her very much.” “That generation of individuals,” Bennett says, referring to the foster grandparents, “got so much love to give to all these kids they work with. The kids get a lot of talent and wisdom and learning from the older generation and, at the same time, these individuals have something to look forward to every day.“ A typical day serving as a foster grandparent at The North Mississippi Regional Center consists of feeding, grooming and taking clients for walks or strolls before they start their educational activities. The foster grandparents in the schools in Lafayette, Marshall and Panola counties assist students who are not reading at grade level. They are able to serve as mentors as well. The Foster Grandparent Program started nationally in 1965. The Lafayette County Program started in 1974. It is sponsored by the Oxford-Lafayette County Chamber of Commerce and administered through the National Senior Corps, part of the service network of the Corporation for National and Community Service. The program offers foster grandparents 15 or more hours per week, a modest tax-free stipend, transportation allowance, a lunch, and accident and liability insurance as well as an annual physical examination. The North Mississippi Regional Center has been a station for the foster grandparent program since it began. Bennett, who says she thinks the program “is the best thing Congress has done with our money,” says The North Mississippi Regional Center has helped the program be successful. “They have been right there with us the whole time. They have been a great volunteer station ... from the staff to the directors.” Top left: Foster grandparent Margie Nell Mathis works with kindergartners Jacob Sanford and Lily Watkins at Bramlett Elementary School.
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Expert Corner
Navigating Alzheimer’s According to the statistics released by the Alzheimer’s Association’s 2015 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures report, more than 5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease and as many as 16 million will have the disease in 2050. Currently there are over 51,000 Mississippians with Alzheimer’s disease and there were more than 925 deaths recorded from Alzheimer’s disease in 2012 – a 109 percent increase since 2000. Caregivers in Mississippi provided over 234,000,000 hours of unpaid care valued at $2,846,000,000 in 2014. While Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia, other forms are prevalent as well, including vascular dementia, Lewy Body dementia and dementias related to Parkinson’s disease. This is a devastating disease that is only going to worsen as our population ages. In an effort to ensure persons living with a cognitive impairment receive the care they need, the Department of Mental Health Division of Alzheimer’s Disease and the Alzheimer’s Association Mississippi Chapter publish and distribute “Living With Alzheimer’s Disease: a Resource Guide.” Affectionately known as the Purple Book, the Resource Guide is filled with information on a variety of topics including how to get a diagnosis, what to expect throughout the disease process, behavior management, end of life care and caregiver support. The Resource Guide is an excellent tool for caregivers. Statewide resources are included and referenced by topic and county. A listing of helpful national resources is listed as well. Resource Guides are made available with no charge through a federal grant and can be obtained by contacting the MDMH Central Office or the Alzheimer’s Association Mississippi Chapter or downloaded online. We are thankful for the many partnerships that allow us to continue to support the printing and distribution of the Purple Book. The Guide also allows us to highlight effective programs across the state and provide information to people upon diagnosis. The Division employs master’s level trainers in North, Central and South Mississippi who can provide free education and training, resource materials, and are available to ask questions about the disease process. A statewide
educational conference was held in August in Meridian, featuring nationally known experts from the Southeast. Awareness events are held statewide such as Paint It Purple! in September in honor of World Alzheimer’s Day. Additional collaborations include the development of the “Mississippi State Strategic Plan for Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Dementias 2015 – 2020,” a law enforcement training initiative, and additional conferences and workshops. We are so excited to have Kim Sistrunk as our trainer in North Mississippi. She brings a wealth of information and compassion to persons and families navigating this Alzheimer’s journey and other forms of dementia. Alzheimer’s Day Programs are an excellent resource to provide respite and socialization for persons living with dementia as well. First Friends in Amory, Memory Makers in Oxford, Garden Park in Greenwood, and Footprints in Newton seek to serve persons with dementia and provide much-needed services to families. For more information about Alzheimer’s day programs, the Resource Guide or other training opportunities, please contact the MDMH Central Office at 1-877-210-8513, Kim Sistrunk at (662) 871-1721, or visit www.dmh.ms.gov.
Kathy Van Cleave, licensed master social worker, serves as the director of the division of Alzheimer’s disease for the Mississippi Department of Mental Health.
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“I don’t have symptoms.” FACT: Colorectal cancer doesn’t always cause symptoms, especially early on.
“I’m only 53, I’m too young”
FACT: Screening is recommended for men and women beginning at age 50.
“Why Should I Get Screened?” “I can’t afford this “It doesn’t run in test!” my family.” FACT: Most insurances now cover colon cancer screenings.
FACT: Most colorectal cancers occur in people with no family history.
Colorectal Cancer Screening Saves Lives Colorectal cancer is the 2nd leading cancer killer in the U.S. But it can be prevented. Screening helps find precancerous polyps so they can be removed before they turn into cancer. Screening can also find colorectal cancer early, when treatment is most effective.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY AND IT WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU
• When discovered in its early stages, colorectal cancer is up to 90% curable. • Men and women age 50 and older should be screened regularly. • Colonoscopy is the most effective screening procedure when performed by an experienced gastroenterologist specializing in endoscopy. Stephen T. Amann, M.D. John B. Averette, M.D. Christopher H. Decker, M.D. Barney J. Guyton, M.D. Roger L. Huey, M.D. Noel K. Hunt, M.D. C. Allen Justice, M.D.
You Can’t Help Getting Older, But You Don’t Have To Get Old.
W. Garrett Ogg, M.D. Samuel C. Pace, M.D. John O. Phillips, M.D. R. Brasfield Smith, M.D. Ashley L. Vaughn, CFNP Cara L. Harris, FNP-C
W. Carl Kellum Jr., M.D. 1952-2006
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For More Information, call the Tupelo Aquatic Center at (662) 840-3768.
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In-Home Services Deciding what to do with a loved one who can no longer function independently can be one of the toughest conversations a family can have. Story by Riley Manning Photos by Lauren Wood While plenty of seniors are mobile and clear-minded enough to accomplish their activities of daily living, the stakes are much higher in the event of a fall or seasonal illness. Families who take their aging loved ones in often underestimate the burden of caring for them. They get burned out, but they don’t want to resort to a long-term care facility. “A lot of the time, it’s a discussion people avoid having because it can be so uncomfortable, but it’s a reality,” said Karla Strickland, owner of Right at Home home care services in Saltillo. “Our goal is to keep our clients functioning in their own home as long as they can.” Home care is defined as non-medical care for disabled patients. Strickland said such care bridges the gap between personal and medical needs, which require a Certified
Nursing Assistant (CNA). Home care companies like Right at Home provide help with dressing, eating, bathing, and a host of other chores that aren’t strictly medical. For the families caring for them, their workers offer respite care, which can be just the help a family needs. Strickland would know, as she brought her 99-year-old grandmother to live with her and her husband soon after they were married. “Our ultimatum was that if she was going to live with us instead of a nursing home, she would have to have a caregiver,” Strickland said. “My husband and I both worked, so our caregiver worked pretty much 40 hours a week. We were still her primary care in the evening and on weekends, but we still needed respite care.” Respite care is simply a break for personal time. For djournal.com
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instance, when Strickland took her grandmother, she had to miss some of her son’s weekend hockey games to care for her. Respite care gave her more flexibility for such things. “Caregiver burnout is really common,” she said. “You start to resent your loved one for taking away from your own life. It’s a bad place to be, but it happens all the time.” Beth Cary, branch manager of Oxford Healthcare in Tupelo, agreed. “That respite care is so important,” she said. “Even if it just lets you go in the back and take a nap for a while,” she said. In addition to personal chores, Cary said, many times their clients enjoy the company of a caregiver during the day. “At first people can be a little hesitant to have a stranger in their house, but before long they’re part of the family,” Cary said. “That’s another advantage of in-home care, it’s way more one on one.” Home caregivers’ range of care varies by patient. If their needs are medical, their doctor may order a CNA to come by and attend to those needs, specifically. Many home caregivers hold a CNA license – Strickland said over a third of her employees do – but Cary and Strickland both said the needs they seek to meet aren’t quite the same. “If they need a nurse, we’ll try to get them what they need,” Cary said, “But we still usually go in and take care of the personal stuff.” Payment for homecare services is usually covered under Medicaid, Cary said, though some clients pay through
private insurance. Oxford Healthcare receives grant money from Three Rivers Planning and Development District, making their services free for clients who qualify. Strickland noted many insurers offer long-term care insurance. Clients need only to prove they are unable to complete two activities of daily living on their own, whether it be bathing, meal preparation, taking medication, household chores or other tasks. “Taking care of my grandmother forced my husband and I to consider how we were going to handle our own aging in a way that wouldn’t be a burden to our own children,” Strickland said. “These services are becoming more and more available as the aging population grows, and it will, because people are living longer.” Cary and Strickland said hospice and end-of-life care services are becoming more and more home-based. The vast majority of the time, they said, home care services like their companies provide can see clients through to the end. “When something does happen to a client, it’s heartbreaking,” Strickland said. “That’s why no one does this job just for the money. It’s a comfort knowing we helped them stay at home, which was their wish. Home care is a team effort between our aids and the primary caregivers to keep the family together at home.” Ordean Arnold of Baldwyn enjoys the help of her caregiver Morgan Palmer with Right at Home in Saltillo. Photos by Lauren Wood. djournal.com
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Home Sweet, Smaller Home Letting go of a big family house can be tough, but downsizing can be liberating. Story by Michaela Morris Many downsizers are looking for houses that take less effort inside and outside, said Brad Franks, an associate broker with Tommy Morgan Realtors. Smaller houses also can downsize bills for heating, cooling and taxes, too. “When you downsize, you’re giving yourself a raise toward retirement and the things you want to do,” Franks said. Jack Goodman, 79, traded in a four-bedroom house with a pool on two acres for a smaller three bedroom house in The Villages in Tupelo this year. “I no longer had any interest in mowing the yard,” Goodman said, especially after wife Joan Goodman passed away in September 2014. The 1,600-square-foot space with a small yard suits him well. “It’s almost like a condo,” Goodman said. “And there’s no pool for me to deal with.” When he was house hunting, he knew he wanted to stay in Tupelo, and specifically looked at homes in neighborhoods where he had friends. He like the walkability of The Villages and the access to 16
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a pool and exercise room without being responsible for the maintenance work. “There’s less empty space,” Goodman said of his new home. “It has worked out really super.” Downsizers have to cut more than the clutter when they prepare for a move. They have to let go of decades of accumulated possessions. “You have to figure out what’s truly important,” Franks said. “Because what fits in 3,600 square feet is not going to fit in 1,200.” It’s a tough chore, but one that’s best tackled in small bites on the front end, said Memphis professional organizer JoAnn Jones of Simple Organizing Solutions. “Downsizing possessions before the move makes it a lot easier,” Jones said. She suggests asking some key questions with the help of a family member or friend who is less emotionally attached. • Will it fit? The four-poster guest bed may not fit in the smaller guest bedrooms in a downsized house. “You need a game plan for things that don’t fit,” Jones said. • If I can’t use it, who can?
Often downsizers offer items they need to let go of to family and friends. Valuable items can be sold through consignment or estate sales. Charitable organizations and churches can often repurpose or pass along items to a new home. • Can I preserve it in another way that takes less space? Artwork, especially that done by children, can be cataloged in photos and turned into digital or photobook albums. Textiles can be turned into memory quilts. Working steadily wins the downsizing race without becoming overwhelming. “Do something once a week,” Jones suggests. Working in manageable chunks about three to five hours to avoid overload and make substantial progress over time. It’s important to be realistic. “Cleaning out the attic is going to take more than three hours,” Jones said. Going through 26 years of accumulated possessions and memories was the most difficult part of his move, Goodman said. His stepdaughter and granddaughter were life savers, helping him with the most emotionally charged tasks, like passing on Joan’s clothes. “They were a big help,” he said. He gave away or sold furniture, yard tools, kitchen supplies over the course of preparing to sell his house. He held on to his beer stein, shaving cup and guitar and banjo collections; they are now displayed and stored around his new home. “I still brought some goofy stuff,” Goodman admits. As people prepare to seek out their smaller space, it’s important take stock of what they want their downsized
lives to look like. “It can change the furniture you need or the storage you have,” Franks said. “It’s a lifestyle change. It can be a big shock.” Downsizing usually means giving up the extra space like large dining rooms and keeping rooms. The big sectional couch or table for 12 may be too much for a pared down space. It can impact who hosts large family gatherings. Smaller yards mean less maintenance, but it also can mean neighbors are closer. “It’s a big shock,” Franks said. Franks usually advises downsizers to build in some flexibility. Even for empty nesters, he often encourages them to consider a two- or three -bedroom home when they’re downsizing. “It gives you a hobby space or an office,” Franks said, as well as space for guests. Downsizers also need to think long term. Even if they are in good health now, down the road, they may need to accommodate walkers or wheelchairs. “You want to think about accessibility,” Franks said. Ideally, the whole house should be on one level with few, if any, steps, Franks said. If the house does have stairs, the kitchen, living room, master bedroom and bathroom should all be on one floor. Downsizing doesn’t mean settling for cheap. In his experience, downsizing house hunters are often looking for high-end amenities like granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. “We’re seeing an increase in new, smaller homes,” Franks said, but it’s a market with room to grow. djournal.com
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MLK Crusaders
There’s no telling how much good the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. could’ve done in the world had he not been killed by an assassin’s bullet. But good works still continue in his name nearly 50 years later. Story by Scott Morris Photos by Lauren Wood “The Dr. Martin Luther King Crusaders got their start in 1968,” said Mattie Richardson Fox, 70, of Tupelo. “The two leaders got together and decided they should do something in honor of Dr. King after he died.” The Crusaders were a gospel group formed by Connie Childrous and Sadie Harrison as a way to spread God’s message. Fox was invited to join in 1969. “I hadn’t heard them sing, but my grandmother heard them and enjoyed them,” Fox said, “so when they asked me, I was glad to become a part of the group.” Members came and went over the years, then Childrous died in 2005, followed by Harrison in 2007. That could’ve been the end. “People in the community asked me if I wanted to keep the group going,” Fox said. “That’s what we did. We reformed it in 2007.” Sister Mattie Richardson Fox and the Martin Luther King Crusaders, Inc., travel around Mississippi, Tennessee and Arkansas. They play in churches and auditoriums, as well as other venues that offer them the chance to minister through music. “It’s more than getting up there and singing,” said Classie McMurry, 54, of Batesville, who joined in 2007. “If you ask for the reason I get up there, it’s the chance to sing and give back with the gift God has given me.” “We don’t limit where we go. We look at the whole program and see if we fit with what is going on,” Fox said. “If it’s kingdom-building and ministry, we don’t mind being a part of it.” “That’s it,” McMurry said. In addition to Fox and McMurry, members are Lerine Brim, 64, of Belden; Ella Vaughn, 64, of Belden; and Bridgett Shelly, 45, of Tupelo. Shirley Cook, 70, of
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“
We wanted to do more than go around and sing. We wanted to make an impact. We wanted to help out the community. We wanted to help churches.
Aberdeen, joined the Crusaders in 2014 as a support musician and singer who performs when needed. “All of the Crusaders are installed. We have a special ceremony where we bring in a new person. They have to go through a dedication,” Fox said. “Like the young people say, ‘We have to gel together.’ We have to see how we fit as sisters together.” “That’s what I like about it,” Cook said. “It’s very spiritual and we get along,” Vaughn said. “That’s the main thing.” For the most part, they sing traditional gospel. The Crusaders often get requests to perform “Bye & Bye,” “I’m Going Home” and “Jesus.” “Press My Way Through” has become the group’s theme song. “At first, we patterned our singing after the Angelic Gospel Singers. They were old-time gospel singers,” Fox said. “In later years, we’ve been more flexible and brought in more contemporary songs.” Ella Smith, 66, of Saltillo, first encountered the group when she attended a Crusaders’ anniversary banquet. She was a fan from the start. “You don’t see very many older women singing anymore,” Smith said. “It takes a lot to dress up and put on those nice clothes and get up there to sing, but that’s what these singers do, and they look so beautiful.” Smith was even more inspired by the Crusaders after she learned the group gives out scholarships to musically inclined young people. “We started the scholarships in 2008,” Fox said. “We wanted to do more than go around and sing. We wanted to make an impact. We wanted to help out the community. We wanted to help churches.” They raise money at their banquets, and donors like Smith contribute to the fund. For more information about the scholarship program, email ladyfox45@sbcglobal.net. “Of course, we give, too,” Fox said. “All of the money we
raise goes to scholarships. These outfits you see us in, we bought these ourselves. We all take care of our own personal expenses.” The first scholarships were for $500, but that’s been expanded to $1,000. A total of $8,500 has been awarded and there have been 12 recipients. The scholarships are already doing what they were intended to do. David Baker, 25, of Batesville has finished his degree at the University of Mississippi, and he puts his talent to use at church by playing organ and teaching private music lessons. Harrison, one of the original Crusaders, was his cousin. “I saw her help the church and help musicians, and it imparted something to me,” Baker said. “I decided I wanted to do the same.” Lazarrus Miller, 20, of Shannon, and Victor McDowell, 18, of Batesville, are recent recipients. Both are studying music education, and they used the money to pay for books their other financial aid wouldn’t cover. “It’s been a great help,” Miller said. “I’ve recommended the scholarship to some guys I knew in high school who are considering music education, and I told a couple of fellow church musicians to apply for it.” McDowell said he’s a fan of Sister Mattie Richardson Fox and the Martin Luther King Crusaders. “I liked listening to them,” he said. “I used to want to play for the group but never got the chance.” Though he hasn’t been in their band, McDowell is on the Crusaders’ team, as they continue to spread goodwill through music and music education. “Everybody in it loves the lord,” said Shelly, who joined the group in 2013, “and what we do is for the glory of God.” First page: from left to right, Lerine Brim, Ella Vaughn, Bridgett Shelly, Mattie Richardson Fox, Shirley Cook and Classie McMurry. djournal.com
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Plates
for Every Palate Stop by The Warehouse and choose from our great selection. Hand-cut, certified Angus beef ribeyes, Mississippi farmraised catfish and The Warehouse’s own signature chicken dishes are just some of the delicious items on our menu. Don’t forget to try some of our homemade desserts like Strawberry Cake!
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Evie Carney If you were to visit Ralph’s Doc and Evie Farms in Baldwyn, you’d probably pick strawberries, visit with the owners, maybe rock on the back porch for a while and, unsuspectingly, leave without knowing the range of talent you just encountered. Story by W. Derek Russell Photos by Lauren Wood djournal.com
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Seventy-one-year-old Evie Carney would be happy to tell you a story or two about her nearly 55-year career performing with Glen Campbell, Perry Como, Dean Jones or Jerry Lewis while you’re at the farm. All you need do is ask. Carney was born in Neosho, Missouri, and started singing at the age of 10. Her journey led her to the Austin Civic Theater in Texas, where she was bitten by the theater bug. “I had a recording of ‘Carnival’ that I loved, and it just so happened they were performing it,” Carney said. “So I went down there and dressed the part of Lily to audition and got the part.” On closing night, the director of the performance sent Carney flowers and a telegram, asking her to be in his next show, “The Fantasticks.” “I was hooked,” she said. “I did that show and then we did ‘Stop the World I Want to Get Off.’ I loved performing there.” A manager at a local radio station took a liking to Carney’s act, and approached her with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “He told me he had a secretarial spot open, but that it would give me an opportunity to formulate and act in my own children’s show,” she said. Carney spent the next two years writing, directing, producing and starring as “Mary Melody” in a half-hour children’s program that aired throughout Texas and Louisiana with puppets, music and a variety of guest stars. “‘Batman’ had just premiered in Austin, so Adam West, Burgess Meredith and Lee Meriwether all did my show once,” Carney said. “That’s how I met Batman.” But once shows like “Romper Room” hit the air, “Mary Melody” lost her tune. “They decided not to do the show anymore,” she said. “I decided to head for the West Coast to pursue performing.” Carney landed a spot on “The Glen Campbell Goodtime 24
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Hour,” singing in acts with Perry Como and Andy Williams on the side. “Glen would take the whole chorus with him to Vegas when he played there,” Carney said. “I got to be well acquainted with the place and fell in love with it. It was much smaller then, with only about 125,000 people there.” Carney ended up calling Las Vegas home and continued performing with Campbell, as well as Donna Fargo, Charo and others for the next several years, when she got a call to perform with comedian Jerry Lewis. “He was getting a group together to do the ‘Danny Boy’ bit, and they wanted me to audition for the part that Donny Osmond had played,” she said. “I giggle when I’m nervous so I was perfect for it.” Carney spent the next five years on the road, working with Lewis in Vegas, Tahoe and even Paris. “Jerry always treated me like family,” she said. “He and Glen (Campbell) both. They’re wonderful people.” In her downtime, Carney performed with a country music band in Vegas, where she met the group’s drummer, who was a furniture designer. “We decided to set up a business together to do exactly that,” she said. “I learned a great deal about designing and manufacturing furniture in that time. I was still singing with Jerry and Glen at the time. In fact, I borrowed money from Jerry to start the business. We opened up the small shop in town and it had a back alley, so when folks asked me what I did for a living, I told them I stripped (furniture) in the alley.” Carney’s 19-year-old African Grey parrot, Ralph, (the namesake of the farm) howled with laughter at her quip, almost as if on command. The next 25 years were spent working in the furniture industry, marrying her business partner and deciding to stop performing.
“When I auditioned for the Dean Jones show, there was a girl there that was 35 years old and everyone else was 18 or 20,” she said. “She seemed so out of place. I had told myself if I got to that point I’d stop.” After Carney’s husband died, she decided to sell the furniture business which had grown into a 25,000-squarefoot building with 11 employees that was featured in eight showrooms across the country. “I took a few years off for myself,” she said. “During that time I had seen people on television and in dance clubs doing West Coast swing, and I thought it was wonderful.” Carney set out to learn the dance at a competition in Long Beach, California. in September 1999. That’s where she met Doc. “He had already learned how to do the dance and was looking for a partner,” she said. “I was looking to learn. It was a perfect match.” The duo hit it off, traveling the country in their RV, dancing in competitions, racking up awards and visiting friends and family along the way. They landed in Palmetto, Florida, when Evie started having trouble with her feet and needed surgery. They decided to head home to Vegas and along the way, Doc got the idea to learn how to repair RVs professionally since they had maintained their own during their cross-country tour. Ironically, the top RV service school was in the town they were just pulling out of, Palmetto. “We headed home for me to have surgery and heal,” Carney said, “and Doc headed back east to go to school.” The couple opened their own mobile recreational vehicle repair business in the heart of Vegas, with great success. “When we first started it took only a half hour to get across town,” she said. “By the time we stopped, it took an hour and half because the place had grown so much.” The new Vegas wasn’t quite what Carney had fallen in
love with in her youth, and a request from Doc’s son to move to Northeast Mississippi had the couple intrigued at the prospect. “The people here were so friendly, especially after living in Vegas and not even knowing your neighbor,” she said. “We went home to think about it and knew our house would take a while to sell so we went ahead and listed it.” Within 30 days, the dancers were loading up to move to Baldwyn. They found a secluded home on a 40-acre lot full of woods, and fell in love with it. “We didn’t know anything about gardening,” Carney laughed. “We planted a small garden for fun and enjoyed it. So the next year we plowed and added another, and another, and another.” As of this year, the two have taken down 30 acres of woods surrounding their home to turn it into a business, producing their own tomatoes, strawberries, peas and starting next season, their own wine. “We love for people to come here and learn and visit,” she said. “I encourage people with kids to come out so we can give them a tour of the farm, give them vegetables and try to teach them how seeds are germinated, how plants grow and what farming is all about. One day, in the nottoo-distant future, those children are going to need to know how to grow their food.” Since moving to Baldwyn, Carney has joined the Baldwyn Main Street Players community theater, where she feels at home like she was at the Austin Civic Theater again. “The only disadvantage I see to growing old is there aren’t as many parts for old ladies,” Carney said. “But I feel like I still have the energy of a 35 year old. For the most part.”
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Mary Thomas When Mary Farrell Thomas took a job in August as an administrative assistant at Traceway Manor, she was used to working with seniors. Tupelo High School seniors, that is. Story by Ginna Parsons Photos by Lauren Wood
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For two years, Thomas served as the high school’s community liaison. “In 2012, the school district created this new position to close the gap between parents and the high school,” said Thomas, 54. “Sometimes, parents need to know who to go to, what time a meeting is, where to find information. I did that for a couple of years and I loved that job.” Thomas left THS when her middle child, Maggie, was about to graduate. “I really wanted to enjoy her senior year so I turned in my notice and stayed at home for a year,” she said. “And then, all of a sudden, we have two in college and one about to go. I really needed to work.” A friend of Thomas had a mother-in-law at Traceway Manor and knew of a position that was open. “I applied and here I am,” said Thomas, who is married to Glenn Thomas, a Tupelo veterinarian. In addition to Maggie, who is at Mississippi State University, they are parents to Van, a nursing student at the University of Southern Mississippi, and Edie, a junior at THS. “This is the best job I ever could have dreamed of,” she said. “I know I love the seniors here. Maybe it’s because I’m heading in that direction myself and learning to age gracefully.” Thomas handles the financial side at Traceway, receiving and posting residents’ rent payments. “But I also unlock doors when they lock themselves out and take them places when they miss the bus,” she said. “When I go home at night, I feel like maybe I’ve made somebody’s life a little bit better or easier. Or, at least, I hope I have.” 28
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Thomas said she’s had the privilege of working with two very different chapters in people’s lives. “For seniors at the high school, it’s a crazy, chaotic time. There are lots of deadlines, if they’re college-bound, and everything’s in a frenzy,” she said. “Coming here to Traceway, I’m seeing a different chapter and this chapter – it’s not that there aren’t deadlines – there are medical forms and doctor’s appointments – but there’s this contentment here. They pretty much are the backbone of this community. They volunteer at the hospital, at the free clinic, doing things you really don’t see or hear about.” In doing a little Monday morning quarterbacking, Thomas said she wishes she could have bridged the high school seniors with the Traceway seniors. “I don’t know if the high school students would listen, but I just wish they had access to the residents’ knowledge,” she said. “They truly are the greatest generation. They sacrificed so much for their country. There’s so much wisdom in this place, about love and about loss. They’ve lost spouses. They’ve lost children. And the seniors at the high school will one day be here, maybe not at Traceway, but in their shoes.” And on a personal note, Thomas has learned more than she ever could have imagined from her new seniors. “Their time is limited, so they know the important things,” she said. “They’ve had to let go of material things – the homes where they raised their children. But it’s not about the house and it’s not about the stuff. They’ve taught me to not hold onto life with such a tight grip. I hope I grow old with the dignity and grace of the residents who live here.”
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Tillmon Calvert
Whatever you need, Tillmon Calvert probably has you covered. As a State Farm insurance agent, he runs his own office and looks out for his clients.“I see people at their best and at their worst,” he said. “After a tornado, people don’t know where to go or what to do. But before long, you’ll see a State Farm agent on the scene writing a check. I like that. I like coming with more than a pat on the back, with substance. I love being part of the solution.” Story by Riley Manning Photo by Thomas Wells Calvert, 62, opened his office when he moved to Tupelo in 1983. Previously, he’d graduated from Tougaloo College and worked in a managerial position for Avon Products Inc. in Cincinnati. He said these days, it isn’t often you see someone stay with the same company for 32 years, but State Farm agents act as independent contractors, which lets Calvert exercise his independent spirit. “You have to have an entrepreneurial spirit, and vision,” he said. “I’m a goal-oriented person, and I’m the most difficult boss I’ve ever worked for.” It’s true, you won’t often find Calvert on the sidelines, especially on the conversation about race. He’s been a fixture for several years of Mission Mississippi, a Christian effort to build common ground between black and white. The West Point native remembers when the high schools there desegregated between his junior and sophomore year. Whatever differences remain between races, he said, is purely cultural. “Mission Mississippi has a great purpose, because peace between the races is the way God wants it,” he said. “The conversation addressing race should be a very deliberate one. In many instances, I think it’s an issue of being comfortable with their culture. I don’t think many people want to be racist, I think they just don’t want to be uncomfortable. A lot of times, sadly, these notions have been engrained by the church.” Of course, Calvert devotes plenty of time to the church, or rather, churches. He splits his time and energy between Johnson Chapel M.B. Church and Blackland M.B. Church. He even earned his doctorate in theology from Jacksonville Theological Seminary in 2010. “I think God has put me in positions to move the race conversation,” he said. “Whether it’s in the church or insurance, I’m in the people business, and I see a whole bunch of 30
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needs. If you listen, God will lead you to be proactive in a lot of areas, and he’ll open doors.” God has led Calvert to plenty of places, and he’s been willing to go. He’s worked with the Community Development Foundation, the United Way of Northeast Mississippi, the Tree of Life Clinic and a host of other community agencies. “I didn’t see a lot of African-American participation in those areas,” he said, “And it wouldn’t help anything to just stand there and curse the darkness.” Ironically, down time is an arena where Calvert falls short. Before his wife passed away in 2009, she was the one to plan trips and activities. “She’d say we’re going here and doing this,” he said with a smile. “And I like that. On my own, I’m not so good at relaxing.” But he’s getting better, he said. He has 10 grandchildren, and wants to take them fishing when the weather gets right again. In addition, he’d like to make it to a few football games. Calvert is a Mississippi State fan, but said he’d cheer for Ole Miss, too. “Every day I try to set a goal,” he said. “If I don’t, I’ll just kind of drift. Sometimes you need that, too, though.” Calvert said he preferred a full plate, so to speak, but he advised that it’s equally important to have the right things on the plate. As a person gets older, he said, the more conscious they become of the fact that once a day passes, you don’t get it back. “Above anything, you have to wake up and make a decision to love people – and it is a decision,” he said. “If you’ll look for him, God will meet you at every intersection, and if you deal with him, you’ll get you some peace.”
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Millie McDaniel
She’s known by several different names – Millie McDaniel, Millie McDaniel Cole, even Martha Ann Wilson’s mama, and she’ll graciously answer to any. Story by Leslie Criss Photo by Thomas Wells But among the young patients and their parents for whom she’s served as pediatrician, she’s revered as Dr. Millie. Keeping her maiden name professionally was an homage to her parents, McDaniel said. “My mother and father sent me to school and when I finished medical school, I owed zero,” she said. McDaniel, a native of Birmingham, Alabama, retired from 45 years of practicing pediatrics in February 2013 and moved with her husband, Glen Cole, to Tupelo several months later to be closer to their only child and their grandchildren, Cole and Mary Conlee. Sadly, Glen Cole died in April 2014. The two had been married 49 years at his death. But neither retirement nor the loss of her lifetime partner has benched Millie McDaniel, who will be 77 in November. “I hated to leave my home,” she said. I left my flowers when I moved from Birmingham, but I was not leaving my father’s books.” Her love of flowers and books is evident at her Tupelo home. She also has begun playing bridge, something she never had time for when she was taking care of her patients. “I play bridge to keep my mind, my brain active,” she said. There’s traveling, which she enjoys doing as much as possible. With her daughter and grandchildren, she’s visited London, Brussels and Paris. More trips are planned for the future. She’s a voracious reader and loves sitting on her screened porch with Saben, her three-legged cat. She helps each year with the Salvation Army’s Thanksgiving dinner and serves on the search committee at her church, Lee Acres Church of Christ. And on the third Saturday of each month, McDaniel once again slips on a white coat, grabs her stethoscope and takes care of folks at the Tree of Life clinic. 32
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“We’re there from 8:30 in the morning until we finish,” she said. “Last month we saw 120 patients. “I’m a pediatrician trying to treat adults,” she said, laughing. “I am in there. I may not be the quarterback, but I am on the team.” McDaniel was the youngest of three children – and only daughter – of Willie and Emory McDaniel. Her father was an Army captain, who came home from World War II with tuberculosis. “He was a writer and a thinker who dreamed of having a rural newspaper,” McDaniel said. Her mother was a teacher. “I had the best mom and dad,” she said. “Education was big in our family.” McDaniel, who started college when she was 16, and both brothers attended the University of Alabama. One brother became a chemical engineer; the other a doctor. In fact, her brother’s decision to become a physician may have been the nudge his sister needed to choose her own career path. “As the only girl I had the attitude that anything my brothers could do, I could do.” she said. “So, if my brother could go to medical school, so could I.” It was not, however, the easiest of choices at that time. In her medical school class at the University of Florida, there were four females out of about 90, McDaniel said. During grand rounds one day, a professor made sure McDaniel realized she was taking the place of young men who could have been in the medical school class. “We had to stand our ground, but not be disrespectiful,” she said. “We were clearly the minority, but appreciative to have the opportunity.” There were no lounges for the female students, and they had to wear long nursing dresses that “just got in the way.” Through it all, McDaniel kept her sense of humor. “Once there were eight to 10 chairmen of medical school departments sitting around a table – and me,” she said.
“They were asking questions and I was not doing too well. Dr. Ben Branscomb asked why I was taking courses in Roman and Greek mythology. I said it was so I could understand the cartoons in the ‘New Yorker.’ It broke the ice.” Truth is, it was Emory McDaniel who encouraged his daughter to double up on liberal arts classes. “He wanted me to have an education, not just prepare to go into a trade,” she said. During the internship/residency phases of her medical training, McDaniel was completing a rotation in pediatrics. “I knew I didn’t want to go into surgery,” she said. “I loved the children, the teaching.” As she gravitated to children, McDaniel gravitated to a specialty in pediatrics. “I took care of all their ills,” she said. “And I encouraged my patients to be the best they could be. I worked early to late, and my calling card was a tongue blade imprinted
with my cell phone number and Dr. Millie. And they never abused having my number.” As much as she did for her patients, the quiet and shy McDaniel credits them for also helping her. “My patients took away from my shyness,” she said. “They were my family.” And many still are. McDaniel continues to keep up her Alabama medical licensing and still hears from her patients. “I’ve had wonderful experiences being a pediatrician,” she said. “I’ve had animals and children named after me. “When I went into it, medicine was a profession; now it’s a business. I would think it’s an empty life for those who go into it for business.”
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Expert Corner
Moving Closer to Family
I loved Tupelo, but needed to move closer to my family in Kentucky, so this summer was a time to change, to relocate and to move forward. When my husband was alive and the company he worked for transferred us from state to state, transition was exhilarating and exciting. It meant having new adventures, meeting new people and making new friends. But as one ages, transition is far more difficult. I think it must be easier to move from Spain to France than it is to move from state to state. All forms of ID must be updated from Mississippi to Kentucky, including my driver’s license, of course. On the bright side, I have found a church I like and daughter Sue is going with me, which pleases me no end. Many thanks to grandson Taylor for hanging all my art work and pictures, and to Derek for providing the necessary railings so my new house is beginning to feel like home. While going through extreme back pain herself, daughter Sue has arranged all my doctors’ appointments, a task that normally would be spread over a year’s time. We are 34
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getting there. My house is right across the street from Palomar Centre, which has everything I need: pharmacy, grocery, several restaurants, bank, gas station, etc. However, going to all my doctors is greatly expanding my little corner, and I am gradually getting to know where they all are. I’m also getting used to valet parking, which in itself is a bit scary. They take away my car and I take the elevator up to the doctor’s suite, then I come back down to retrieve my car. Can you believe that? As I said before, I think moving from Spain to France must be easier. Nevertheless, a new life is exciting and venturesome. Yes, I’m making the transition. I’m moving on. That’s what I’m doing with help of new friends, new neighbors, and most importantly, my family. Formerly of Tupelo, Peggy Oakes moved to Lexington, Kentucky, over the summer. Photo by Lauren Wood
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