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Your ‘different’ guide to Food, Entertainment and Lifestyle in sunny Chester

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Spring 2010

High Street

Fashion

On Chester’s Eastgate Street Food Fight

On the cheap

Because every little helps Cheshire Walks (Away) To Christleton and back The

Real gardens

of Cheshire.

What if we had a 5-minute interview with...

Oxford-educated busker

Ed Alleyne-Johnson £1.99



Contents

4 High Street Fashion Who’s wearing what on Chester’s high streets. 6 The Food Guide A dining experience at your local McDonald’s. 8 The real gardens of Cheshire Get yer gardens out, lads. Spring is here! 10 Cheshire walks... (away) A gentle ramble to Christleton and back.

12 What if this was a 5-minute interview... We pose a hypothetical Q&A with the elusive Ed Alleyne-Johnson. 14 Food Fight! Tesco takes on the world.. 15 Your chance to win! Win Tesco shopping vouchers with our simple competition.

Editor Adam Holgeth Features Adam Holgeth Photographer Adam Holgeth

A word from the

Editor

Welcome to Reduced to Clear, the magazine with you in mind something to wipe your arse with or maybe even read. I can’t promise the contents will be in any way beneficial to your life, but you’re stuck with it now. Being the first edition I feel I need to clarify a few things. Whilst this publication is, in many ways, a bit of a joke, there are some serious and substantial issues touched upon - the most prominant being the saturated market of upper-class ‘lifestyle’ magazines, portraying life in Cheshire in full gloss and shine. Spring is here and everything is bathed in sunlight, but in the shadows are the rotten boroughs of Cheshire; from the food we eat to the clothes we wear. That’s not to say it’s all bad - far from it! In fact, quite the opposite. So lets take some time to enjoy the ‘cheap and cheerful’ things in life, whilst poking fun at hypocrisy surrounding us in our everyday lives.

Designer Adam Holgeth

Writing this I hope to encourage you, the humble reader, to think about what is being commented upon and perhaps more importantly, why. What I can guaruntee is that at least 20% of this publication is entirely factual, impartial and maybe even informative. Which is more than Cheshire Life can promise. Anyway, enjoy! Adam Holgeth Editor Reduced to clear

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High Street Fashion

A look at what the unsuspecting citizens of Chester are wearing. This week, we look at Chester’s Eastgate Street.

Celebrity faces have been used to protect the identities of the innocent.

Cotton Harrington Jacket, £25, Matalan

Daniel Hetcher Pinstripe Suit, £35. eBay.

Maine Five Jumper, £12. Debenhams. Women’s Pinstripe Ponti Frill Blazer, £15, New Look.

Soul Cali Hooded Top, £20, Republic Ghostbusters t-shirt, £8, Play.co.uk 4

Men’s Two-Button Suit Jacket, £55, New Look.

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The Food Guide

McDonald’s, on Northgate Street, Chester offers a range of burger-related products. Made with 100% beef, in case you didn’t know.

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ituated at the heart of the city of Chester, McDonald’s has for many years offered an invaluable service to the thousands of visitors to the city who are looking for a memorable dining experience. Originally an established brothel owned by the infamous Westgarth family, the site was purchased in 1994 by Sir Ronald in what was proudly heralded at the time as Chester’s introduction to diabetes, hypertension and obesity. Heavily influenced by the Amer6

ican gastronomic ideology of the fifties – rich in ingredients that make food taste good – McDonald’s claims to offer the widest selection of 100% beef burgers in the county. Whilst this may be a bold claim, it is hard to argue with the cashier ‘Shelley’ as she hands over that free McFlurry I won the other day on McDonald’s Monopoly. Remember, all reviewers are entirely impartial and remain anonymous to the restaurant. On a clear day, the view from the

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top of the two-tiered building is a picturesque portrait of the daily hustle & bustle of the city centre; shaded by the idyllic Chester cathedral and motivated by the sounds of local buskers, providing the perfect backdrop to a meal with high expectations. The décor was basic but not without its charm. Pictures of the city were hung around the otherwise bare, but surprisingly shiny, walls, and a mellow source of light came from sixteen halo-


Image: Inerior design

gen lights in the ceiling. Sixteen lights, all of which turned on, despite being a summery mid-afternoon, made even more pointless by the glass wall which allowed the sunlight to reach even the darkest crevasses. The staff were friendly and the customers were many, though not enough to fill all the tables, and compiled of the usual stereotypes; the family of five who insist on getting a different toy with each ‘Happy Meal’; the teenage couple sat in the corner, hoods up, in silent; the older woman in the opposite corner milling over her ‘no-added-salt’ garden salad, looking somewhat disgruntled that a camera may (or may not) have been pointing in her direction. The menu was limited to whatever could be read above the cashier’s head and after much deliberation, I opted to start with the Mozzarella Cheese Sticks (£1.49), combined with the large QuarterPounder Deluxe with Cheese and

Bacon Meal Deal (£4.79). This included large fries and a drink – I chose Coke since it’s my automatic response when asked ‘what drink would you like?’ at any purveyor or connoisseur of gourmet grub – and my free Smarties McFlurry for dessert. The Mozzarella Sticks were three disappointingly-stuffed breaded sticks accompanied with a small portion of salsa that were in no-way worth my hard-earned money. More = better. Decorated with generic ‘herbs’, they stuck quite uncomfortably at the top of the mouth. The ‘Deluxe’ burger wasn’t too far from the standard Quarter-Pounder, and the cheese and bacon were optional, albeit free, extras. In fact, it is most prob-

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ably the addition of bacon which makes this version ‘deluxe’. But then, since when has bacon ever been considered ‘deluxe’? The fries by this point had gone cold and were reduced to being drowned in heaps of tomato sauce. Two redeeming factors for the meal were the drink and dessert. McDonald’s Coke has always been the best and with a good Ice: Soda ratio, is a popular choice for customers. The Smarties McFlurry also provided all that excess sugar I’ve been craving for the past two weeks, and came with two more chances to win on Monopoly. Sugar-coated chocolate swamped in sugar-infused ice-cream with added sugar. I didn’t win this time. 7


The Real Gardens of Cheshire Each issue we will be showing you pictures of some gardens we pass by in Cheshire.

As you can see, some are not bad. On the other hand, some are a bit... bare. But it won’t cost you a penny to see them!

On our wander through Christleton, we came across this garden and thought it was worthy of a shot. 8

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Above: Bluebells in bloom. Very pretty. Below: Just a garden. They can’t all be amazing, can they?

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Above: Expect to see lots of locks. Right: Route to take, courtesy of Google Maps.

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here are many reasons why people decide to go on a walk; the health benefits, the sense of freedom that comes with rambling across the country, wanting to see interesting and beautiful parts of the world or, quite simply, boredom. The route we plan to take follows the Shropshire Union Canal until we find a nice place to stop, and then aim to get home in time for the televised election debate. With a little under three hours to get there and back, it gives us a nice amount of time to take in the wonders of Chester’s outskirts. Back in the day, the Shropshire Union Canal (originally called the Chester Canal until it was extended to include various surrounding canals in the late 1700s) was used as a means of 10

transporting goods between the midlands and the Cheshire region during the Industrial Revolution. Today, it lazily ferries privatelyowned canal boats up and downstream, lulling along in serene tranquillity.

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After making our way down to the canal via the locks at the bottom end of Canal Street, with parking spaces available in the working men’s club for anyone driving – or indeed a particular fondness of parking spaces – we have the option to turn left, facing East, or right. This is an

You will be able to sample the work of local artists.

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important choice for any rambler opting to take the canal since, well… it’s a canal. There are only two ways to go. Taking the Eastern route eventually leads to Christleton, which sounds like a nice enough place. The route initially leads through the city, following the Roman Walls until reaching the Frog and Nightingale and further on, the Steam Mill. It is not until passing Westminster Road that things start to open up a little and begin to look nice. Once outside the boundary of the city you’re going to see more and more wildlife, including herons stood saliently, swans nesting on the banks of the canal and foxes, rabbits and other woodland creatures frolicking in the evening sun.

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After about 40 minutes


walking you will pass a lock with no name. Crossing the canal at this point leads to a small, secluded woodland area once home to teenage pissheads – traceable by the many faded cans of Strongbow and Frosty Jacks littered around. This presents a good opportunity to rest, have a drink or a smoke and something to eat before continuing your journey. Various heaps and mounds provide ample sitting space. After feeling rejuvenated, re-join the canal and continue heading East. If you don’t know which way that is, go the way you have not already been. On your right is a selection of local art, hastily scrawled on a nearby wall. Beyond this you will meet a path which breaks off the canal and leads onto a small country road. Take it.

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You are now on a road. Turn left and you will begin to enter Christleton, a small, picturesque village with not one but two churches within the space of meters of each other. By entering the village you may receive a few

The pumphouse

glares but you have to remember this is the villagers’ habitat and you must take extra care to be as least disruptive as possible. They’re not fond of people generally, let alone ramblers. Make your way through the village by following the one and only road. After passing the first church on your left you will come across a decommissioned pumphouse. This wonderful little structure sits idly by in the centre of the village, just standing there, looking pretty. Turning left at the pumphouse will take you past the second church and beyond that, a large pond full of flora and fauna. It is worth taking the time to look around here a little bit, as we get closer to the A51.

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Coming away from the pond and back on to Little Heath

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Road, we make our way seamlessly into the even smaller village of Littleton. There’s not much to say about this one in all honesty – it’s a nice place but with little in the way of features or amenities. Continue to stroll through Littleton until coming across a crossroads. Turning left will lead towards the A51 which, whilst not the best walking route in the world is a bridge we’re going to have to cross if we want to get home on time. Which we do. Turning left at the crossroads, now heading West (you see how this came together now, don’t you?) will lead back to the heart of Chester. But before we get there, just one more suggestion. After getting back into the urban district, in Boughton, there is a memorial monument overlooking the River Dee and surrounding fields. Whilst not in the best location, the view is stunning. By following the pavement back into the city, you will emerge near Grosvenor Park. From there it’s a simple case of making the short journey back to where we began.

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What if this was

a 5 minute interview with...

Ed Alleyne-Johnson

Each issue we pose a hypothetical Q&A to the recognisable faces of Chester. This week we ask ‘What if this was a 5 minute interview with…’ Oxford-educated busker, Ed Alleyne-Johnson. A Fine Arts student from Oxford,? So why are you busking again? I didn’t want to get caught up in the rat race of things and just go about things my own way. I like playing music, it makes me happy and it makes my fans happy. I learnt a lot as a student but if I was strictly professional and signed [to a label] it would feel more like work. I get by doing what I do and I like it.

bit different for each song and takes a lot of practice and good timing. As the song progresses you can hear it getting bigger and bolder. Is it true that you carved your violin with a kitchen knife? It’s my own creation. And your amp and effects pedal, what’s special about those? I recently customised them to be powered by the sun. When I busked in the past and the batter-

What about performing on Radio 1 and on ‘Later With Jools Holland’ on TV? I almost forgot about those. Don’t get me wrong, it was great and helped boost my name but I felt it wasn’t really for me. I was advised to give it a go and I prefer sticking to what I do best; busking. What was fun though was when I was in Belgium, somehow people knew who I was. I didn’t know Radio 1 was listened to over

“I get by doing what I do and I like it.”

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How do you describe your music to people? I play my electric violin to covers of classic songs of the past 20-or-so years. It’s an odd combination which to most people is initially off-putting but after hearing it, most agree it works.

ies died, that was it. I had to pack up and go on my way. But not now.

But it’s quite amazing how you layer your music to feature the various components of a song. It’s just something I refined over the years and makes the whole song sound fuller. Take ‘Sweet Child o’ Mine’, that riff that everyone knows, I’ll start the song and record that as I play, then when the vocals come in, I switch and play those and let the recording loop in the background. By building it up one by one and adjusting the effects I can give it a bassier sound put emphasis on different parts of the song. It’s a little

Where has your music taken you? I’ve travelled a lot; obviously here in Chester and York but other places in the UK. Europe too, I’ve busked my way through some of the major cities a few times and toured there with New Model Army about 20 years ago too. Although with them I met some of the biggest names in music like Dylan and Bowie, I liked doing my own thing better. I’ve been to the US and Canada a few times as well, but this is my scene.

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there but there you go. So why do you keep coming back to Chester? It’s where I started

and the people know me, they appreciate me and support me. But I’ve been forced to move to York and play more and more over there because I didn’t have the correct license to sell CDs whilst I busked here. But I’m not going anywhere for long. What are you currently working on? More of the same. I can’t think of any more questions. Is there anything else you would like to say? No.


Ed Alleyne-Johnson outside Debenhams, formerly Browns of Chester Full-Page Image

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All images on this page courtesy of Google Images.

Food Fight

In this issue, Tesco Value goes up against some of Britain’s most recognised food brands.

takes on Ok, I’ll conceed that Tesco Value food is a bit dire, to say the least. But is it worth paying more for that little bit extra? Warburtons, Medium-Sliced White Bread Tesco Value, Medium-Sliced White Bread

It’s bread. What more can I say? Price:

The pride of Bolton. 63p. At 3.15p per slice.

42p. That’s 1.68p per slice.

20

Slices: 25

When spread with butter: Turfs up like a dry football pitch.

Crumbles but stays intact.

Toasted:

Upper-crust remains untoasted, otherwise fine.

A tight squeeze for smaller toasters.

Verdict:

It’s bread. Just bread.

Worth the extra 21p. But only just.

Tesco Value, Chicken-Flavoured Noodles

Batchelor’s Chicken-Flavoured Super Noodles

Just because you call them ‘super’ doesn’t make it so.

Don’t they look appetising? Price:

Flavour: Variety of flavours: 14

Verdict:

60p.

9p.

Nul & void.

Packed with MSG.

Your basic Chicken, Beef and Curry. They all taste the same.

The basics plus the more exotic Chow Mein, BBQ and Sweet & Sour, to name but a few. Do not warrent the name ‘super’.

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Round 3:

Price: Meat:Pasta ratio:

Tesco Value, Lasagne

Birds Eye, Beef Lasagne

What’s inside? Nobody knows.

Gotta love student food. Around 97p.

44p.

50:50. Getting better.

30:70. Not enough.

Time in the microwave: 7 minutes, plus two minutes waiting time. When it says ‘pierce Stab thoroughly. with a fork...’: Verdict:

Last resort meal.

3 minutes, leave, 2 further minutes. Easily peelable plastic film. Not ashamed to admit eating one of these.

The prize: 2x £50 Tesco vouchers. The challenge: To find the cheapest place in Cheshire to purchase all the following items:

2kg pack of [any brand] frozen vegetables 250g pack of grated cheese 1 litre of milk 6 medium eggs 1 litre of orange juice 1 medium-sliced loaf of [any brand] bread 1 pack of bacon 3-pack of onions 2 cans of [any brand] beans 2 packets of instant noodles 2 packets of instant rice 500g pack of spaghetti Items may be purchased seperately from different stores. Closing date June 10, 2010. Reduced to clear

All this for only £6.80 Spring 2010

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Image: 90ยบ anti-clockwise (cover)


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