Thursday 29th April 2010
Its only this much!
ALPHA
PROBABLY THE BEST LADS MAG IN THE WORLD
STAG DO VS HEN NIGHT!
SPORT
ENTS
Warrington’s very own basketball team is born thanks to the Wolves Foundation
Top Tens page Worst Chat Up Lines
STUDENT SECTION Two new games to get your Xbox controllers away from your hands
CONTENTS WAZZA’S CURRY CHALLENGE Page 14
STUDENT SECTION DEAL OF THE WEEK Page 8
COVER STORY
Warrington’s newest sports team is born Page 12
STAG DO VS HEN NIGHT ALPHA SAMPLES BOTH! Page 4
STAT ATTACK! Useless facts to make you nod and smile! Page 15
Fancy a laugh?
Turn to page 11
TOP TEN HARDMAN MOVIES OF ALL TIME Page 7
WHO NEEDS AN XBOX? We have new, better, and CHEAPER stuff to keep you smiling! Page 9
Wolves storm to the top in fair play index
The road back to Wembley is underway
Warrington Wolves are the new leaders of the Engage Super League Frontline Fair Play Index after conceding just 12 fair play points in an Easter weekend which saw them notch up wins against Salford City Reds and Hull FC. Let’s just hope the fair play position runs parallel to the league position come the end of the season.
Wolves have made it through to the fifth round of the Carnegie Cup against Galpharm which marks the Wolves’ first steps on the Road (back) to Wembley, after their triumph last year. Go to the Wolves website for more details about the new Carnegie Cup hospitality deal.
Season halfway point Wolves boss Tony Smith Second place couldn’t rely on past endeavours to see them through last weeks WANT IT!! 4th Round Carnegie Challenge Inspiration
Cup game against Featherstone Rovers. “We’ve got some nice memories and if anybody needs motivation or inspiration to go into a game like this weekend, they have memories to recall.”
Hodgson to join Wolves
Brett Hodgson has signed a two year deal with the Wolves. The Huddersfield “man of steel” 2009 was also voted Rugby League Writers Association Player of the Year. Wolves boss Tony Smith spoke to Warrington Wolves official website about the move; “I’m excited about the signing and surprised to get a chance for someone of his calibre to join us.
“It doesn’t matter who we are playing or what competition we are in this weekend, there are some things we want to put right, we were a little bit off last week in some areas, so we have a lot of motivation to do well for this week.”
When 01/05/1010
Time
Who
K0 17:00
Salford City Reds
3
Where
Murrayfield
HEN VS NIGHT
STAG DO
ALPHA sent our Dave to figure out the mystery of the opposite sexes last night of freedom. Before I embarked on the most alcohol involved adventure I can remember, I was certain in my prediction that the stags would get hammered until they can’t stand and the women would have a calm relaxing night. Oh how wrong I was. 5.30- Meet Nervous, filled with questions I knew would soon be answered; I walked into Piccolino Restaurant in Stockton Heath, our meeting place and was greeted by “THERE HE IS, HENNO!!!” in a pitch only just audible to the human ear. It was Kelly (Hen) Evans and her posy of 11 fancy dressed intimidating women. C’mon Dave is only a bunch of girls what are you thinking about! This was my thought about 10 seconds before Hayley, the (bridesmaid) handed me a batman costume, this was my outfit for the next seven hours (WHOOPY). After a few cocktails in the restaurant, I didn’t feel so strange eating Spag Bol next to 5 schoolgirls, Superwomen and a pirate, although we did get a few funny looks. This was my first lesson, contrary to popular belief, in actual fact; these girls couldn’t give a crap what they looked like and how they came across, which I found quite cool. 8.00pm- Cocktails and Karaoke “There is no way I am doing karaoke... no.... no way... no.... FINE, put me down for Oasis” I was singing “What’s the story morning glory” and funnily enough I enjoyed it, I needed a good few cocktails in Reflex Bar before I could consider it but it turned out quite good! The experience I mean, not my voice. This is where I learnt my second lesson, it turns out that men aren’t the only sex that can bully you into doing something you are dreading! After 50 No’s they were having none of it and knew it was only a matter of time before they had me in their back pocket!
12.00am- Dancing the night away We are now in Halo nightclub; I had been up dancing around poles, draped knickers over my head and drank a lot of shots. At this point I get even more involved by joining the arse pinching contest... men’s arses that is! As a big, bald, man mountain turns round to see my hand resting on his rear, I thank God for my life, “Don’t touch Henno” the girls shout jumping in the way. Now if this were the stag’s, there would either be a rumble on the dance floor before we all get thrown out leaving a pile of broken glass and teeth in their wake. The feeling that men could learn a lot from women comes to mind, although we would never admit it. 10.00am- Morning Funny, I feel happily hungover. My stomach feels empty, my head feels huge and my legs are aching but I woke up with a cheesy grin on my face. Awesome night.
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Hen Conclusion The great thing about the hen night was the way they measure the success of the night. Unlike the men’s, it wasn’t measured on how naked and hammered the stag was. The night’s accomplishments were gauged by how much of a laugh they had together whilst still keeping the solid foundations of a good hen night- look out for each other, forget about the future and focus of the shots, the dance floor and the lad’s bums. I think a future “Sten night” is the way to go.
4.00pm Go Karting The Stag Do begins. I join Jonny Stub on his “last night of freedom”, beginning with Speed Go Karting. After a few hours of testosterone fuelled driving competition, it’s a quick change before we head to Wetherspoons for a “beer and a burger” to set us up for an undoubtedly messy night ahead. 10.00pm First bar After a few pints in “Spoons” I am a tad embarrassed to say I was already feeling it! With another 5 hours at least to go I was optimistic at best in believing I was going to make it through the full series of events. We made it to Level Bar where we were greeted with complimentary “Stag Shots”, I have no idea what was in the glass and I’m pretty sure I never want to. The reddy-brown colour was enough information for me. From here on in the drinking games feature throughout with an array of rules and regulations that are intentionally designed to ruin your head for the following week!
Jonny’s stag night drinking games Left hand drinking If you are caught drinking with your left hand you down the drink. M.I.N.E You cannot say the word mine, if at any point you say this word, no matter where you are, you have to drop and give 10 press ups.
12.00am Bar to bar to bar to club Into the main body of the drinking session now and I make the fatal area of drawing my notepad from my pocket. The pad was snatched from my grasp and replaced with a pint quicker than I could say.... well, anything! I never did see that pad again! The next three hours are a hazy mess, snippets of memory glued together with the thinnest of string. Memories such as press ups on top of a bar, champagne boat races, shots followed by more shots and 11 lads posing like a donkey on the dance floor. Looking around at everyone together, dancing with girls they can barely see and raising glasses to their adored stag, I realise the core aims of the traditional stag do; to stick together, laugh until your bladder can’t take it anymore, push the boundaries knowing you have 10 best mates in your corner, dance badly and or course, drink until you can no longer stand. 9.00am I’m awake It’s morning, I know that because every single part of my body aches from the drinks, the press ups and all the running away from extra shots I did last night. My head hurts!
Stag Conclusion Awsome night, from start to finish, I can’t really remember the finish but I was smiling on the photos! While both males and females have the same goals for the night, they are executed in different ways. On a stag do, the lack of planning, the loss of control and wonder of “what next” is what makes the night so fun, free and unfortunately forgettable! I think hens could learn a lot from the attitudes of their male counterparts.
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Tell her Told her Be careful what you say about any girl in sight, if you do not say the words “told her” after saying something about a girl, and somebody else says “tell her”, you have to go and tell her what you said! For example, Jonny- “whow, she looks like a hippo!” Steve- Tell her Jonny- SH**! Pose master Someone is designated pose master at the start of the night, at any point during the night they will get into a series of poses, the last person in the group to copy the pose downs their drink, and becomes the new master. Snake eyes One person is designated “snakes eyes”. Nobody can look that person directly in the eyes, if snake eyes catches you, you down your drink and become the new snake eyes.
Worst Chat Up Lines From funny to cheesy to the downright nasty!!
1. Are your parents retarded, ‘cause you sure are special. Jordan Mills, Padgate
2. My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can’t hold it in. Jeff Wang, Fearnhead
3.Your daddy must have been a baker, ‘cause you’ve got an amazing set of buns. Hayden Bradley, Stockton Heath
5. Man - Do you like to dance? Woman - Yes! Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
4. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell every one we did anyway. Jamie Pale, Padgate
Daniel Thorpe, Stretton
6. Ok, short and simple, I’m not wearing any pants. Dave Walker, Padgate
8. Are your pants from outer space? ‘cause your butt is out of this world.
9. I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet. Callum Stag, via email
7. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be the McGorgeous. Colin Roberts, via email
Steven Jenkins, Birchwood
WINNER
JORDAN WILDRIANNE PADGATE
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Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
Hardman Films of all-time Alpha’s celebrates the men hard enough to beat you down with their ear lobes 1. THE GODFATHER 1972 Key Scene: The horse head in the bed is unforgettable. Best Line: “Don’t ever take sides with anybody against the family again.” “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” 2.
DIE HARD 1988
3.
ROCKY 1976
Key Scene: Bruce crashes through the 200 story window hanging from the fire hose. Best Line: “No sh** lady does it sound like I’m ordering pizza!”
Key Scene: Stallone bouncing away on the steps of Philly’s Museum of Art. Best Line: “Adrian!!!.........We did it!!!”
4.
FIGHT CLUB 1999
Key Scene: The sucking-on-the-gun shot, a truly shocking sight. Best Line: “First rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club.”
5.
MEAN MACHINE 2001
Key Scene: Danny Dyer’s helpful and hilarious act of getting battered for the sake of the team. Best Line: “It’s a good job he likes you, he blew up 15 people he didn’t!”
6.
DOG SOLDIERS 2002
Key Scene: Luke finds the watch of his friend along with his intestines, inspiring the comeback of all comebacks. Best Line: “I hope I give you the sh**s”!
Reasons to go work naked....
7.
GREEN STREET 2005
8.
CASINO ROYALE 2006
9.
GLADIATOR 2000
10.
BAD BOYS 2 2003
Key scene: The burning pub scene with the return of the major is unmissable. Best Line: “You stand your ground and fight” Key Scene: Bond’s torture in the chair leaves the male audience wincing while holding their jewels. Best Line: “HAHA now the whole worlds gunna know that you scratched my ba**s!”
Key scene: The big speech from Maximus to Caesar gives a cheer from everyone watching. Best Line: “I will have my vengeance in this life or the next!” Key scene: The unmatchable dead body car chase, Woooosssaaaaa! Best Line: “I aint steppin in no rat s**t”
1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
6. You will be able to put a new meaning to “putting bums on seats”
2. You can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
4. You won’t have to tell the girl you like in words, she will realise in more natural ways. 5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.
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9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning. 10. No one steals your chair.
STUDENT SECTION DEAL OF THE WEEK The wait is over!
The most expensive and most lucrative film to ever hit the big screen is out on DVD and Blu Ray. ALPHA love you guys, so as soon as we went to ASDA for our weekly big shop and saw this beauty, we came straight back to let you know about it. if you haven’t
seen it, firstly where have you been? and secondly, don’t wait around, the price will shoot up very soon, it’s a limited offer so it won’t last forever! ENJOY!
Short on cash tip
Instead of shopping during the day, if you live near a supermarket, go in 15 minutes from closing time and buy your food for the day then. Bread with an expiry date of two days after the purchase is down to 1p in ASDA when it comes to around 9pm.
•Its only 8 quid!
Then you can freeze it and it will last all week!
•There’s still loads left!! •BARGAIN!!!!
ALPHA’s MUST SEE’s OUT NOW
Out soon
REPO MEN
IRON MAN 2
Jude Law stars in a futuristic action thriller with a brilliantly twisted premise... The hunter has become the hunted as “The Union” plot to regain the debts of two uncooperative ex agents.
Robert Downey Jr returns in the armour-plated superhero sequel of the year. The world now knows that billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) is the armoured superhero named Iron Man.
Release date: 23 April 2010 Director: Miguel Sapochnik Starring: Forest Whitaker, Jude Law
Release date: 30 April 2010 Director: Jon Favreau Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Mikey Rouke
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WHO NEEDS AN XBOX? Online gaming, wireless controllers, 600GB memory........ No thanks, a bit of wood will do nicely! Two amazingly addictive games that show old school gaming is STILL awesome.
Sjoelen
Pronounced- Shular- Best with 3-4 players in a fun, noisy environment. How to play: Slide the wooden disks along the 6 foot table in an attempt to get them through the four arches numbered 1 to 4 at the other end. Getting disks into the low scoring compartments is just as important as the high ones because each set of 4 disks in the four compartments scores double points (20 instead of 10 points). Cost: £35 Student Opinion “Very, very cool. It won’t keep me entertained for as long as an XBOX obviously, but I would definitely buy one, they get so addictive and it’s not as easy as it looks.” Jordan Wildrianne, University of Chester.
Sjoelen Warning:
Bagatelle
The old pub game was replace by pool but in our opinion is still well worth a few quid investment. Also known as “that pinball game”. Any amount of players welcome.
You cannot play this game quietly for two reasons: 1. Because the discs are load when they hit against each other. 2. Because you will be screaming so loud and smashing chairs through windows when you find yourself one disc away from 120 points. How to play: Similar to pinball. Each player has ten balls to notch up the highest score by shooting the balls up towards the different value pot holes. Cost: £39.99 Student Opinion: “Awsome game, a lot more skill than I thought it would need, it looks simple but it’s annoyingly difficult. It’s worth the price without a doubt. I’m getting one!” Stephen Longworth, Padgate
THE BOARD Bagatelle Warning:
It may look easy but this is a game of skill, don’t be surprised if you find yourself an addict in two months time, itching to get on the board, waking up in a pool of sweat with points and personal bests running through your mind. Over dramatic you may think.......... just you wait!
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John Bishop
Parr Hall, Warrington
“If you are in your forties and you are wearing trainers and jeans it makes you look a bit special ..... like a responsible adult should be holding your hand” Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her A: Roberto. ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?” Brett Thompson- Via email She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.” “I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.” Andy Moseley- Via email I like to go into the body shop and shout out really loud, “I’VE ALREADY GOT ONE!!” Kevin Parr, Stretton
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make Tuesdays or Thursdays.’ Steven Cummings, Comedy Store, Warrington
Yo
Jokes
With a few comedians I went to blockbusters last night and asked if i could borrow Batman Forever the bloke at the counter said, “NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!” Grant Watson- Fearnhead
Russell Howard Comedy Store, Manchester
I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought: ‘That’s Aboriginal.’
Employer: “We need someone responsible for the job.” “Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.” Jordan Wildrianne – Padgate
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Santa goes into a hospital to visit three boys. He gets to the first bed and the boy doesn’t have any legs, Santa looks in his sack and pulls out a brand new pair of legs for the boy. He gets to the next bed the boy doesn’t have any arms, so Santa pulls out some arms and gives them the boy. At the last bed there is a boy with no arms legs or body, just a head, Santa looks in his bag, then looks back at the boy and says, I don’t have any arms, legs or bodies left, but I have a piece of string, you can be conker! Keiron Northwood- Padgate Two cannibals were sat eating a clown, one says to the other, does this taste funny to Rhod Gilbert you? Parr Hall Warrington Simon Lee- Locking Stumps
our
Page
s comments thrown in
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was “Shout For Help”. I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears... Darren CeilinskiLocking Stumps
A man in a pub asks for a beer. The barman says, “Sure, that’ll be one dollar.” “One dollar?” exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, “Could I have steak and chips?” “Certainly,” says the barman, “that’ll be two dollars.” “Two dollars?” cries the man. “You’re joking. Where’s the guy who owns this place?” The barman says, “Upstairs, with my wife”.” The man says, “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?” The barman says, “The same thing I’m doing to his business.” Harry Lambert- Padgate
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now. Dean Peckham- Via email
If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.
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Milton Jones
Comedy Store, Warrington
Addition to the Wolfpack Warrington.. Please welcome, your very own natioal league basketball team! With the help of the Warrington Wolves foundation and Big Storage, the Birchwood basketball team has survived it’s first ever season. The team now needs you to support them and push them to that all important playoff position that every national league player craves! ALPHA speaks to Delme Herrimen about life back in the BBL and his hopes fr the team next season.
Do you think the team lived up to your expectations for this season?
gelled together we can make a push for promotion no doubt.”
I think we’ve done a really good job this year, a brand new team, new home court, the players we have are without a doubt qualified to make a good push next season, we needed this year to come together and perform as a unit. I think we are there now and the league better be ready for us next year.
Has any off-court problems affected the team this year?
Has any off court problems affected the team this year?
Which player do you think is going to lead you to a playoff push next year?
“We have faced a lot of problems this season in terms of promotion, with all of the local schools closed for an extended period over Christmas due to the snow but we have had a lot of the games at home this season which is great.”
“We have faced a lot of problems this season in terms of promoting the team, with all of the local schools closed for an extended period over the Christmas break due to the snow, but we have had a lot of support, over 200 people came to watch us for a lot of the home games this season which is great.”
Matt Weedall, our vice captain this year, he’s got a lot of experience including appearances for the English National team, he will lead us to success.
Who do you think is your biggest threat next season?
Well both Mansfield and Durham have done awesome this year and just come up short so I can’t see them going anywhere but up. Durham especially have a strong unit up there, I know a few of their players from my national team days and their just like a bunch of mates having laugh when they play together it’s a really good spirit so I would say they will be a big challenge for us next year.
What are your hopes for next season?
“It would be great to get some people down to watch us, the support so far has been great but with a few more shouts from the crowd, it all counts towards extra motivation. I think we are definitely capable of a playoff place next year too, we have 4 internationals on our team for next year and with the team settled and
This years final table Team Points 1. Brixton T. 9-2 2.Westminster W. 8-2 3. Durham W. 8-2 4. Mansfield M. 7-3 5. Edmonton S. 6-3 6. Glyndwr N. 5-5 7. Birmingham A’s 4-6 8. Northumbria 4-7 9. Medway Park 2-8 10. Plymouth MC 2-9 11. Birmingham U 0-8
MEET THE TEAM!
Delme Herrimen Captain Forward
Max Casenove Guard
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Alan Duppa Centre
Richard Parker Guard
Matt Weedal Forward
A challenge you can overcome?
Who’s the hardest? Me, I’ll take down anyone don’t you worry kid! Herrimen might have something to say about that! Leave him to me, he’s no threat!
No doubt! We’ve got the players and the crowd to push us along.
Do the Nets have local hangout?
Which player gets the most stick?
147 snooker hall in Warrington, we’ll book out a few tables, order food, get few beers and we’re sorted for the night in there, it’s a good laugh. Max had lessons as a kid so he can notch up a good break. He didn’t tell us that until after we put a wager on it though!
The bald one! We call him shine on! Catenove spends forever in the shower after every game and training so he gets a roasting quite often.
Do you meet up with the team when you are not at training/ matches?
April fools has just gone, who pulled the best prank out of your lot?
There are a few of us who go out together, Max (Casenove), Al (Duppa) and me went out in Chester for a night out last weekend, which was a good laugh.
Funnily enough our coach got us all with a cracker! He texted all 13 of us including some of the reserve players at 6.00am saying he wanted everyone in the gym as soon as possible, he said money had gone missing and CCTV had picked one of us up, so everyone had to come in as soon as possible to account for our actions. We all arrived crapping ourselves, then we saw a note on the door saying “What day is it”! He’s in for it next year!
Do you get much attention from the ladies being pro ballers?
Mate…look at me… course I do!! LIAR! Yeah, fair enough!
Delme Herrimen
Player Profile
I went to high school and college in Ohio, USA. I have been playing professionally for 14 years now. I spent 8 years playing all over Europe, and am in my 5th season in England. I played for the English National Team for 10 years, retiring in April 2006, with a Commonwealth Games Bronze Medal. I now play semi-pro and am a basketball.
Position: Forward Team: Wright State University, English National Team, Nike Midnight Madness 06, ‘07 Club: Trieste, Leuven, Giessen, Den Helder, Bescacon, Woerthersee, NAC Breda, Leicester Riders, Manchester Magic, Everton Tigers Leagues played in: Italy A, Germany, Holland, Austria, Belgium, England Sporting Interests: Rugby League Athletics Boxing Favourite Players Current: Lebron James All-Time: Allan Houston, New York Knicks. Scottie Pippen
COME AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL NATIONAL BASKETBALL TEAM
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Other Interests Music: R & B, Hip Hop Film: The Green Mile, Gladiator, Braveheart, Menace II Society, Numerous. TV: Dragen’s Den, One Tree Hill, Books: Rich dad Poor Dad
ALPHA’S SPICE CHALLENGE Let us introduce to you, the most tongue sizzling, eye watering sweater you will ever taste Vindaloo, Chinese “Hot Pot”, “Extra Hot Peri Peri” style chicken...... there are spicy foods that have sweat pumping out of your head in seconds, foods that numb your tongue in one single bite, if that the sort of thing you like the sound of, welcome to your heaven! The Fahl, the ultimate in spicy food, originates from Southern India and combines at least 10 different peppers into a single, thick curry with its distinct spicy kick comes from a core ingredient, the Bhut Jolokia chilli pepper, confirmed by the Guinness World Records as the most powerful pepper on earth.
OUR HERO!! Adam Richman complete the Phaal Challenge on the Travel Channel’s Man V Food
I can’t feel my tongue!
The burning sensation you feel in your mouth after eating spicy foods is caused by capsaicin, an oil found in hot peppers. The capsaicin is what makes spicy foods hot; causing your mouth to feel like it’s burning. So what do you do to cool your mouth down? Water? ............WRONG!!! In fact, all water does is spread the capsaicin around your mouth more, which can make the burning sensation worse.
Unlucky Lads!!!
Drinks that contain alcohol also don’t help stop the burn caused by spicy foods. In fact, alcoholic beverages will probably magnify the burn!
Where can we get one of these bad boys? Raj Indian Restaurant Culcheth, Warrington
Tip for the nervous Drink milk with your meal! Water is no help what so ever when trying to cool down your tongue after a fiery mouthful, in fact it makes things worse by spreading the spice around. Milk however is nature’s fire extinguisher as it cools down the tongue. The fats found in all dairy products, like milk, buttermilk, and yogurts are able to counteract the burning sensation caused by eating spicy foods. We’re not too sure how much help this will bring against our phaal however!
ALPHA challenges you to get down there and get your sweat on!!! A real man would do it!
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ROYAL CORNER
SCIENTIFIC BUT USEFUL A man named Charles Osbourne had the hic-CORNER cups for an incredible 69 years, then died 1 year after he finally got rid of them. Brits consume 337,000 tons of baked beans every year
Pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-greatgreat-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the English throne.
Margarine is in fact grey...It is dyed yellow to look like butter Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the Hewlett Packard’s first product was an auto- brain, staring at a blue matic urinal flusher. surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms. On average, 100 people choke to
death on ball-point pens every year. Customs officials have dogs that are trained to distinguish between Cuban cigars and all other cigars.
STATS A FACT A dogs’ naked butt leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.
GOLDEN OLDIE CORNER
Over the last two decades, more Americans died of heart attacks while watching horror movies in movie theatres than died while sky-diving.
The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra. Many years ago, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. This is where the phrase “Wet your whistle comes from”!
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ANIMAL CORNER The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.