proud
First Edition!
Coming out One young mans story of coming out
Exclusive Manchester Village Spartans Manchesters only all gay rugby team
plus... The it gets better project is internet dating safe and the best gay apps for you! June 2011 uk ÂŁ2
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Editors note So here we are the first issue of Proud and boy is it a good one. For our first issue we have some great features for all you young people out there to help you get to know some of the ins and outs of gay life, we have some great advice on what mobile phone applications to download in order for you to experience more social media targeted towards younger gay people (they’re also quite fun). Along with this we have some more serious matters discussed in this issue to let you know what is out there in the form of our internet dating feature, which highlights what online gay dating is really all about, Its not all doom and gloom I promise. Then the more pressing issues of substance abuse on the gay scene letting you know the problems that they can cause in an interview with two people who have lived and experienced drugs on the gay scene. We also have an exclusive interview with the Manchester Village Spartans an all-gay rugby team to find out what they are up to (who said gay people couldn’t play sport). There is a coming out story from someone who’s been there and done that, to help show you that you are not alone and that there are plenty of people around who have dealt with coming out to friends and family about their sexuality. The issue also takes a look at the It Gets Better project in America. Finally Proud takes a look at what’s going on in terms of gay pride this summer to keep you entertained, and not forgetting our fashion, music and film sections! It may be the first issue but it’’s full with fun and useful information so sit back and enjoy! Lewis Shepherd
Contents 4
The Gay iPhone 12 Apps for You
We take a look at some of the best iPhone apps for the gay market
6
Out + Proud
This is Sparta
23 Music
An exclusive with the Manchester Village Spartans
We give you a round up of the latest releases this month
15 Is Dating Online 27 Film Safe? Check out the latest
One young mans story and experience of coming out
We look at the world of internet dating for gay people to find out what’s around
film releases this month, Including the newest Hollywood and gay films
9
It Gets Better
Its Pride Time
30
The Greats
We take a look at the it gets better project
10 Clubs, Drugs and Dancing Queens…
We look at drugs on the gay scene
16
We give you the low down on gay pride
18 Fashion
We pay our respects to some people who have helped in the fight for equality
Discover the latest looks this summer
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Welcome To The World With the world going crazy for new smartphone applications we take a look at five of the top free gay mobile applications for you to enjoy
Being young and gay today is in a different league to what it used to be twenty years ago, you now see numerous prominent gay figures on television screens, people of all ages are coming out and laws are changing left, right and center. Saying this being gay in the 21st century has changed dramatically in the last five years alone, due to the amount of technological advances that the world has seen. Whereas the Internet has changed the way people connect and interact, the techno-explosion known as the smart-
phone has taken this even further.
at your fingertips where ever you are.
Although the smartphone has been around for over a decade now it wasn’t until Apples revolutionary iPhone in 2007 that cemented the connection between being gay and these technological advances. How? I hear you ask, well that comes down to Apples app store which has numerous apps aimed at gay people helping you communicate, discover news specifically catered to you and allowing access to a multitude of other gay issues and experiences
Even though a vast majority of young people now own Apples iPhone money can be an issue when purchasing these ever exciting and must have apps, especially if mum and dad are footing the bill. So we are introducing you to what we believe are the top five gay applications available to the iPhone, so read, download, experience and enjoy … They are free after all!
EDGE: - For all you out there who want to know what’s going on in the world of gay news this is most definitely the app for you. It is one of the most downloaded gay themed apps on Apples App store and features news coverage from around the world. Although it is mainly American themed news which almost prevented it from being number one in our top five list, the application also provides a diverse range of stories on other topics ranging from entertainment and style to business and technology (how very BBC), but this combined with its offerings of a range of photographs to view and a number of columnists to select from and its ability to allow you to comment and share articles (how very Facebook), this app definitely deserves its place at the top of the list.
Gay Cities: - For those with a hectic social life or those who aren’t satisfied unless they’re doing something. Gay cities is a brilliant app which allows you to find bars, restaurants and hotels etc in your city, or a city you may be visiting that caters for gay people. The app also gives you a list of upcoming events that are happening or will be happening in the future in the city that you have selected. This could be very useful for young gay people who want to know what’s going on near them but aren’t to sure how to find out (now you know how). The app even connects with both Facebook and Twitter and allows you to interact with friends who are also using the app, making it easier to find each other.
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of The Gay iPhone App
APPLES WORLD FAMOUS APP STORE (ABOVE). FACEBOOK, GRINDR, TWITTER, GAYDAR AND MYSPACE (PICTURED LEFT) ARE SOME OF THE MORE POPULAR APPS IN THE APP STORE
Qrushr: - Now we finally get to a social networking app. Unlike gay applications such as Grindr, which is exclusive to gay men and is mainly used for things other than social networking, this application is available to people of both sexes and of any sexual orientation and is mainly about the social networking side of life allowing you to update status’ and gives you more space to fill out personal details than other gay social networking apps, its like Facebook but built on sexual orientation. The app gives the user a diverse range of things to do while using it such as giving access to chat rooms, magazines and a gay radio station and on top of that it’s pretty straightforward to use (if you’ve used one social networking app you will be fine).
Pinknews: - Also a news application, it differs slightly to the EDGE app, the main difference it has to EDGE is that Pinknews mainly features news stories based within the UK and covers a range of topics from politics, entertainment and religion (these apps are getting quite diverse) along with a features and comments section. Although it is mainly British news it does allow the option of world news as well. Where as the Pinknews app is good and very useful for finding out what’s going on in the gay media, the app is slightly more difficult to use than EDGE and does take longer to load on certain stories, but with that said the app does allow you access to all the content that they have on their website through the app which can be rare with certain news applications.
Gaydar Radio:- Finally in our countdown of our top five free apps we bring you the Gaydar radio app. Now most people whether gay or straight have heard of Gaydar if not look it up it’s pretty easy to find. We wanted to give you readers a diverse range of applications in this top five so we thought we would round it off with the best free entertainment app we could find and this is it. The application gives you access to live radio streaming 24/7 is full of the best chart music and some brilliant classic chart hits, and is very straight forward to use.
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Out + Proud Coming out is a big issue for everyone gay, bi or lesbian, We meet with a young man to discuss his coming out story ... we even got to speak to his mum! Coming out, we all know what it means and we are all quite aware of what it involves, and for many many gay people in the UK and around the world it can be seen as the best and often considered one of the most terrifying things you could do. Now we have all heard the negative and not so nice stories of people coming out, but don’t let this get you down or allow it to frighten you as the place we live today is much different to what it used to be and thousands of young gay people are coming out and are being embraced for who they are. Its 2011 you aren’t going to get chased down the streets with pitchforks. I spoke to 27-year-old Chris Owen from Warrington, to share his experience of coming out. He told me that he knew that he was gay from a very young age, and came out in his midteens to an a very positive reaction from friends and family. Here’s what happened:
How did your friends react to you coming out? My friends all knew, they knew all along, I never really kept that much secret from them, don’t get me wrong I did lose some friends but the ones that stuck with me are the ones that I’m still friends with today. How did you feel about coming out to your parents? Nervous, the biggest thing I was worried about doing was coming out to my parents, everyone else are just a blip they’re just there and the next thing they’re gone, my parents are there all my life. How did you think they would react? Well I thought my mum would have been alright with it and my dad would have gone mad, but they both accepted it I suppose quite quickly.
When did you realise you were gay? I was quite young really; I think I was about 11 or 12, that’s when I first realised that I started having a thing for boys. When did you come out? Well I came out to my friends when I was about 13 or 14, and then I didn’t come out to my parents until a while after that, I think I would have been about 16.
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How did you feel about the reaction to it? It was a positive one, my mum thought it was a phase and she thought for years that I was just going to grow out of it but then my dad was just like the strong silent type, and my mum was just a silent type, everything just carried on as normal. Do you feel it helped you be yourself more around your family?
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Yeah definitely, I’m definitely more myself because I don’t have anything to hide. Are you glad you did it? Yeah I am, if they don’t like me for what I am then they can jog on for all I care. After listening to Chris’ story of how he was accepted by his family and embraced for who he was, I was lucky enough to talk to his mother Sharon to discuss her sons homosexuality and how she felt when he came out, after all the best friend a gay man can have is apparently his mother. Here’s what she told me: Did you ever think he was gay before he told you? Yes Chris was always very in touch with his emotions and very caring and his mannerisms were always gentile. How did you feel when he came out, what was your reaction? Shocked but not really surprised, shocked because he was only 16 when he told me and I tried to explain that it may only be a phase and to give himself time, but he knew his own mind and I had to respect that. Did you ever feel like you had anything to do with him being gay, and if so has this changed over time? No not really, but buying him My Little Ponies when he asked for them did make me think. My thoughts are still the same Chris has the confidence to be his own person and I respect that he’s still my son no matter what. Did you worry for his safety at all? Oh yes, especially when he was working in Manchester, I was always worried that he was not streetwise and he would be taken advantage of, and people can be very hypocritical and homophobic and I did not want him to be attacked for his choices in life.
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‘Do it because its like a plaster just rip it off then its done’ What would you say to other parents whose children have come out who may feel shocked about the situation?
I would say have a cup of tea, take a deep breath and remember that you bring your kids up the best you can and teach them to make choices for themselves and no matter what happens they are always going to be your son or daughter and you will always love them, tolerance and understanding and acceptance is what’s required. So there you go coming out isn’t that
bad despite what people may say. Chris’ experience is similar to the majority of young gay people who come out. There was one final question I had to ask Chris to see what advice he had for any of you young people reading who are thinking about coming out, he said; “Do it because its like a plaster just rip it off then its done, then if anyone wants to judge you let them, at least you’re being true to yourself and not living a lie. You don’t want to end up being 45 and married with three kids and then finally being able to tell people, because wheres your life gone?”
It Gets Better After a tragic wave of suicides across the states one project is assuring young people that it does get better ...
If you haven’t heard of the It Gets Better project over the last eight months then now is the time to learn. Columnist Dan Savage created the It Gets Better project back in September 2010 with his partner Terry as a response to the media coverage of teenagers across America who had taken their lives due to homophobic bullying, with the hope of helping young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youths realise that their lives will get better. The project that began as a video posted
to Youtube quickly became a worldwide movement in under two months, and now boasts 10,000 user generated videos, with a combined total of 35 million views and over a quarter of a million supporters worldwide, which include celebrities such as Gareth Thomas, Perez Hilton, Ellen Degeneres and even the president of the United States Barack Obama. The project recently released the book It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living, which made its
way onto the New York Times bestseller list. The book includes essays by over 100 contributors, which includes celebrities, religious leaders, politicians, parents, educators and many more. The It Gets Better campaign is a way of helping young LGBT youths realise that things really do get better and the website is open for anyone to register on and post a video, so if you feel you could help someone or in fact need help yourself then get involved. You can visit the website at www.itgetsbetter.org
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Clubs, Drugs and Danci With recreational drugs becoming even easier to obtain and stats showing that more gay people are taking drugs, we take a look at the drug taking darker side of the gay scene ... Drugs, we’ve all heard of them whether it’s cocaine, heroin, ecstasy or the newer breed of drugs such as ketamine and methadrone. We’ve all been warned of the effects of drugs and the damage they can cause us at some point in our lives. But no matter how dangerous we all know they are and the perilous affects they can have drugs are still a huge fixture when it comes to the gay clubbing scene. A report published last year by the UK Drug Policy Commission found that LGBT people had a higher use of illicit drugs than their heterosexual counterparts, with around 10% of heterosexuals admitting to taking drugs in the previous year compared with 33% of gay, lesbian and bisexuals. But why is this? Are drugs more accessible on the gay scene? Is it due to gay people having more disposable income on average than straight people? Is it due to glamorisation in TV shows such as Queer as Folk? Or do gay people feel more of a need to take drugs on a night out? Well I decided to find out. I interviewed two people from different parts of the country to see whether their experiences with drugs on the gay scene would help me find out why drugs were so big on the gay scene. John, 27 has lived in Manchester for a number of years and works for a well known mobile phone company and was a regular drug user in his younger years whilst on the gay scene in the cities infamous Canal Street, This is what he told me:
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Do you think drugs are a big part of the gay scene? Definitely everyone in their right mind uses them for some reason. Either to make the night better or to make it cheaper. Do you feel there’s pressure on the gay scene to take them more than anywhere else or do feel its equally as bad?
own choices but I wouldn’t personally say go out of your way and get off your face. So what would you say to young people now just going on to the scene about drugs? There’s more to it than the drugs and the alcohol, go out for a good time not to see how wasted you can get.
I think there’s some pressure out there because you always see people having fun and dancing away and you always think I can do that too, and if you need some kind of chemical assistance the pressures always going to be there.
Emily, 20 is originally from South Wales but currently resides in Southampton whilst studying for a degree at University, her opinion of drugs on the gay scene differ to Johns as she believes that drugs are accessible in all walks of life and not just on the gay scene, this is what she had to say:
Have you ever been influenced yourself?
Do you think drugs are a big part of the gay scene?
Yeah quite a few times. I wouldn’t say I was influenced but I did it.
It can depend; drugs are easily accessible if wanted. I think in many cities drugs are a part of most young peoples nights out, but at the same time I think there are many people whose nights out don’t include any drugs at all. I feel that once someone has dabbled it is more than likely that 25% or more of their nights out will probably include drugs in the future.
Do have any negative experiences? Oh god I’ve had all sorts of Negative experiences. Wandering aimlessly around Moss Sides in a fish net top and a pair of hot pants because I was off my face, that’s one interesting experience. So you wouldn’t recommend the use of drugs on a night out? No I wouldn’t recommend it, I mean I cant tell someone not to do it because everyone’s got to make their
Have you ever been influenced to take drugs by people? It’s hard to say, I wouldn’t like to say influenced on my behalf or theirs but technically I could sit here and explain it all, and everyone would simply say that was classed as me being influenced. I
ing Queens: The Truth...
may have been out and a friend may have questioned the option of getting drugs and I may have thought it would be a good idea, and so on. I don’t think I’ve ever been influenced in the sense of feeling like I have to because someone else is. What bad experiences have you had because of them? Well quite a few, in many different ways. There have been times where I’ve been physically ill from drugs, sickness at the time and then emotionally for x amount of days after. I’ve also witnessed other people physically and mentally lose control due to drugs. People just get caught up in what’s going on without even realising and it affects them in different ways. I’ve seen some get obsessed with their weight, others forgetting who they were and living with a different personality al-
most as someone else when on drugs, stealing, turning aggressive. There’s so many side effects post narcotics that may even be oblivious to many. What would you say to younger people just starting to go out about the dangers of drugs? It’s hard to advise people on drugs, as everyone will react differently. Obviously to be aware of the consequences you may have to face, and trust me this can lead into a very extensive list of life changing options/changes. If you can face it with the idea of just having fun, then that’s what your more than likely have. But knowing when to draw a line under that ‘fake’ fun is something to keep in mind. Don’t get me wrong, I myself have had a brilliant time off drugs, but the fun go-er to addict transition can be considered a very blurry area.
After conducting both of these interviews we can see that drugs on the gay scene are a big issue and they are used regularly when it comes to gay clubbing, but after talking with Emily it has also shown me that drugs aren’t just a big issue on the gay scene but in a number of different scenes around the UK. But it still doesn’t answer why drugs are used so frequently on the gay scene. To me it appears that maybe because the heterosexual to homosexual ratio of people in the UK is so vast with only an estimated 10% of people being gay, that there does appear to be more homosexual people taking drugs. But whether this is true or not doesn’t matter, what does is that drugs are out there and they are a problem so be aware and make sure that as a person with your own mind you know the dangers of drugs. *John’s name was changed due to him not wanting to be named
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This Is Sparta! an exclusive interview with the Manchester Village Spartans to discuss what its like being part of an all gay rugby team Sporting activities are one of the most popular past times in the UK with around 16.5% of the adult population (16 and over) in England actively participating in a sport three times a week. But sporting activities are often viewed as being occupied primarily by heterosexuals, with very few openly gay sports stars there still appears to be a taboo lingering over homosexuality and sports. So this month I was lucky enough to meet with the Manchester Village Spartans who go completely against the grain. With a team full of openly gay players, they can regularly be found in a scrum on the playing field participating in one of the manliest sports around, rugby. The Spartans formed in the late 1990s and are still going strong today regularly competing in competitions around the world. I met with them at their training ground in Sale where I talked to team captain Matt Whiteley, coach Elaine Vassie and players Dave Lacey, Gareth Longley and Alex Smith, where I hoped to find out more about what they had coming up, which included such things as the Union and Bingham cups, whether the team had ever experienced any negative reactions towards them and to get a general insight into what it was like being both gay and in an openly gay rugby team. So are you excited with what’s coming up with the union cup in Amsterdam? Gareth - Yeah its going to be a great opportunity for us to get away and see some of the other gay teams and play in a competition that’s quite difficult but quite fun afterwards with all of the other gay teams so yeah I’m really looking forward to it. Matt - Absolutely its always good fun going on tour with the boys and I think
Amsterdam should have some of its own fun to show us so I think the tour itself will be pretty amazing, and there’s the rugby side of it as well you know every two years you get together with all the other European teams so we’ve got a point to prove, we kind of want to come out on top on the pitch and then have a bloody good time as well. Elaine - Yeah absolutely. And how are you training for that? Elaine - Well we are towards the end of the season at the moment so we’ve been working a lot on the structure we want to put in place for the union cup in terms of how they play so just developing some of the strategies so looking at what works well for us at the moment and hopefully exploit that a little bit more, and getting the lads to use those scenarios and those calls so that when we hit the union cup hopefully we are on the front foot. Dave - The main training will come after we finish the season so in a couple of weeks time, and we will train two maybe three times a week, it’s a good opportunity to do something a bit different from what we’ve done during the year, we don’t get to play any gay teams during the season so it’s a bit of a chance to let our hair down, not too much because there is rugby to play but it’s a chance of winning a bit of silverware as well. So do you play gay teams or straight teams? Dave - No we play straight teams during the season then the cup competitions that we play, the union and Bingham cup are gay teams.
Alex I’ve heard you’ve had a lot to do with getting the Bingham cup brought to Manchester can you tell me about that? Alex - The Bingham cup is the gay rugby world championship it’s about a thousand players, 35 teams its one of the largest amateur rugby events in the world its held every two years and we started bidding for it three years ago. We were bidding against Sydney and unlike Manchester’s bid for the Olympics which was up against Sydney we won the bid for the Bingham cup so its coming here to Manchester in 2012. Are you all excited and looking forward to it? Alex - Yeah I’m very excited about it but I’m also apprehensive, we’ve got a lot of work to do to get everything in place to put it on. Dave - Yeah it’ll be really nice to have a home Bingham cup, we’ve travelled a fair bit in the past, the first one I played in was London which wasn’t too bad, then it was New York and then Dublin and then last year it was Minneapolis, so we do get around. Matt - Yeah the Bingham cup will be amazing its such a massive event, you’re talking about a thousand rugby players from 15 different countries and thirty odd different clubs all coming to Manchester so it’s a massive event and I’m really pleased to be having it in the city, it was a lot of hard work winning the bid so we’ve got to make sure we put on an amazing event, on and off the field so we’ve got lots of entertainment and kind of amazing things lined up for the people who come and for spectators and then the team, we need to make sure we go out there and perform and do as well as we can you
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‘Yeah it’s the best thing I’ve done since moving to Manchester’ - Gareth know. We’re are really looking for a top four finish if not to take home a bit of silverware. Alex, you said there’s still a lot to get sorted, what do you have to get done before the Bingham cup?
league now for over five/six years so most of them know who we are and aren’t really that bothered and just want to play rugby.
Alex - We’ve got to do all sorts of things, we’ve got to get venues booked for opening and closing parties, we have to get playing fields booked we have to get referees, we have to get sponsorship, we have to get a website for everyone to register on, so a lot of these things are in plan and all of these things are starting to come together, so there’s a lot work but we’re really lucky we’ve got a lot of support from a lot of the tourist organisations here in Manchester and in particular we’ve got a lot of support from the RFU who are very interested in helping put on an event of this size.
Matt - Not really no, you get a little bit of banter but you’d expect that what ever team you were on, you know if I was big and tall or short and fat or something like that i’d expect someone to be saying something to me, you know there’s always going to be a bit of banter and most of it’s in good humour, I think there have been a couple of very isolated incidents over the 11 years which probably crossed the line but nothing I’m going to start crying about to be honest. I think teams we play against now know that we’re about the rugby and that we’re about being competitive and beating them at their own game, I think increasingly over time there’s become less of a problem.
As a gay team playing straight teams have you ever experienced any issues from any of their supporters or players?
Is there any thing you would like to say to any young people who want to join sports teams but feel they can’t because of their sexuality?
Dave - Very minor stuff probably when we were in the tougher league a couple of seasons ago, two and a half seasons ago but nothing, generally rugby is a pretty tolerate sport we tend not to get anything. I think it definitely seems an incentive when they play us because nobody wants to get beaten by the poofs but you generally find they’re pretty sound after a game.
Dave - You just have to make an effort, it can be really nerve racking and quite embarrassing to start with I know when I first came down I was looking for a gay football team but there wasn’t anything and I didn’t know anything about rugby, some would argue I still don’t. I just stumbled upon the Spartans website and thought i’ll go down came along and it was very very nerve racking but you kind of start to get to know people and you get over it pretty quickly, you meet some great people along the way and it’s a chance to be a part of something which a lot of gay lads wont really have been used to, certainly not when I was in school. I just found I was in my early thirties and thought I’d like to do some team sport, stumbled across the Spartans and its seven years now. It’s a bit frightening but its very very good, it’s a chance to be part of something kind of a bit bigger than you usually get the opportu-
Gareth - There’s the occasional bit of banter but most of it is made in jest, there are occasionally one or two individuals on teams that do make it a bit more than that, especially when they get frustrated and they’re losing to us they might say things like we’re not losing to this bunch of poofs or what ever, but we don’t take it in any malice really. Unless anybody is homophobic to us we don’t make an issue of it and most teams really receive us quite well in the league and we’ve been playing in the
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nity to. Gareth - Yeah I played rugby from being a teenager up until about 18 and then I went to university and I stopped playing at university because I came out and I didn’t think being gay was conducive to playing rugby at the same time, and I think just try and get involved with a gay club if you’re not happy about going to a straight team. We are very supportive it’s good fun and a great way to meet new people and if you love rugby just get involved, and that goes for most sports as well there are gay clubs throughout the country doing things from squash and tennis all the way through to rugby and wrestling, so get involved. Matt - I think it can be a pretty life changing experience. It’s being part of a team sports environment, it’s a massive amount of fun, the social side of it is brilliant, if you enjoy sport then you’ll definitely enjoy playing rugby. Have you enjoyed your time on the team? Matt - Absolutely yeah, well I’ve been captain for 6 of them so I guess I must enjoy it some way or the other. Gareth - Yeah it’s the best thing I’ve done since moving to Manchester. I moved to Manchester not knowing any gay people at all and then I joined the club and instantly I had 30,40,50 friends to go out with on a weekend and also play rugby with which is the main reason I joined. Alex - Oh yeah absolutely it’s a major part of my life I really enjoy it, my partner is also involved he’s the finance director for the Bingham cup 2012 he also plays in tournaments etc so yeah it’s a major part of our lives and yeah I’ll be honest I absolutely adore it. Dave - Yeah, definitely. Elaine - Yeah, I love it they’re great bunch of lads. *If you’d like to find out more about The Spartans you can visit it their website: www.pitchero.com/ clubs/villagespartans
truth about intenet dating - is it safe? With the onslaught of online dating we take a look to see what is out there for gay people . . . and we got a few surprises With the rise of the internet over the last decade how we go abut our daily lives has changed completely, we no longer have to leave the house to get our food shopping, scour the shelf’s of music retailers to find music that we may be interested in or walk for miles up and down the high street to find the latest trends. It appears that the Internet has allowed us to access multiple areas of our lives with the click of a button making everything we have ever known quicker, easier and more accessible. But can the same be said for dating? Thirty, twenty and even ten years ago people would go out interact with other members of the public where they may or may not meet someone, with the encounter often resulting in a date. After all this is how everyone used to meet their future partner. Now we are constantly bombarded on a daily basis by advertisements offering us free subscriptions and free trials in order for us to sign up to the latest internet dating fads such as Match.com and plentyoffish.com. But with these websites being aimed at the heterosexual dating market, I find myself asking, “What’s out there for gay people?” On closer inspection I found a number of websites online that classed themselves as online dating websites for homo-
sexuals, these included such sites as Gaydar, GaydarGirls, LadsLads and thepinksofa.com. My initial thought after discovering this wide range of websites was promising, but after a closer look the so-called gay dating websites were completely different to their heterosexual counterparts. Where websites such as Match.com was helping people interact with others who may be similar to them in the hope of them coupling up these homosexual dating sites appeared to concentrate on one thing and one thing only, sex. After accessing the front page of Gaydar.com I was instantly greeted by images of barely clothed men with the slogan ‘What you want, when you want it.’ This to me instantly said that gay dating websites unlike straight ones were less about dating and planning for the future and more about satisfying a need when you wanted to. To find out more about the gay online dating scene I asked a number of people what
they thought about it, and the reactions were all very similar. Chris Owen from Warrington told me, “They’re far from dating that’s the last thing on peoples minds the only reason people go on there is to look for a bit of cock, there’s no other way of using them.” His comment about what people were looking for on these website was re-iterated by Leslie Rushforth who told me that these websites were “full of wankers, time wasters and freaks who care more about what’s in your pants than what is in your head.” After these responses regarding the gay online dating scene I decided to investigate by setting up my own profile on a well known gay dating website, where after only a week I was shocked by the type of messages that I received in my inbox. I received messages from people going by the names of Sexystud7, Dareyou and Bullbuttcock, which instantly suggest that they are there for everything other than dating. The messages themselves
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‘They’re far from dating’ - Chris that were deposited in to my inbox by these charmingly named people consisted of simple messages such as ‘Well fit m8’ and ‘Where are you from? Wanna chat? Maybe have some fun sometime?’ to the more extreme which resulted in someone offering me the opportunity to star in films aimed at the ‘adult market’ (thanks Tim but no thanks). Due to the promiscuous approach to so-called ‘dating websites’ for gay men, I chose to look at similar websites for lesbians, which I found to be a similarly sad state of affairs. Sophie Wrangham from Plymouth who is currently studying at the University of Chester said about the lesbian dating website GaydarGirls, “To be honest, I think it is mainly used as a way for girls to find other girls for no strings sex.’ Although Sophie did say that it was mainly used for no strings fun, she said she chose to use it in a different way, “I personally use it to just browse and see what’s going on. I don’t take it too seriously. If I were to use it seriously I think it would be a good way to meet people.” I also received a similar response from an anonymous male in a blog I set up on the gay dating website where I had recently set up a profile, he said “I think it’s a great way to connect with gay guys you don’t know or probably wouldn’t meet. But, at times, it seems like “gay dating” is a poor façade for promiscuity. I still enjoy these sites, but I don’t have particularly high expectations now I’ve used them for a while.” After extensive research into the online gay dating scene it does sadden me that they appear to reestablish a negative assumption that all gay people do is sleep around, and with these websites now in full swing this seems very easy to do indeed. But if you are new to the gay dating scene there does appear to be hope as some people have mentioned, you can interact with people and use it for socialising and dating, but if you are going to use them just make sure that you know what’s out there and make sure you are aware of what other people using these websites intentions are, after all you may end up meeting some very nice people.
PROUD
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Its Pride Time
every gay person should attend a gay pride event and heres why .... Summer time is here and that can only mean one thing on the gay calendar … it’s time for pride! Yes that time of the year is upon us once again, so it’s time to put on your hats and sunglasses, dust off your feather boas and don’t forget your dancing shoes, as the entourage of gay prides this summer is about to hit the UK like a giant rainbow flag. If you have never been to pride before then maybe this year is the year for you. Gay pride is an exciting experience for anyone and is a great place to socialise with your friends and meet new people that you may not have met before, and if you don’t know that many gay people it’s a great chance to see that we are out there, and there’s plenty of us. It’s not just for gay people either, pride is open to everyone with an open mind, we spoke to the chairman of Swansea pride Peter Martin who said, “there’s usually a lot of straight people and families, as it is a very family orien-
tated event. It’s open to everyone who agrees with diversity and equality.” Martin later added “pride is a day where everyone can get together regardless of their sexual orientation, and it’s a really nice day where everyone can mingle whether they are gay or straight and get on and enjoy themselves.” So why not go this year, there are pride events all over the UK and new ones are springing up all the time, so if you’re feeling adventurous there are plenty of mini adventures to have. Below we have compiled a list of upcoming pride events over the next month: Oxford Pride 3 -12 June Blackpool Pride 11-12 June Pride London Festival 17 June - 3 July Gloucestershire Pride 18 June Calderdale Pride 18 June Swansea Pride 25th June