The Romance of Felines

Three primal urges that we, humans, experience as animate organisms are to eat, sleep and to copulate. Unsurprisingly, cats are no different from us, but despite the similarities, it would be foolish to suggest that they do not have several reproductive quirks of their own.

Sexual dimorphic reproduction involves the interaction of individuals possessing either type oftwo sets ofsexual characteristics. In human beings, achieving the form for successful reproduction is undergone by a physically altering biological process dubbed ‘puberty’. Feline ‘puberty’ is marked by the onset of their first ‘heat’ cycle, a period of sexual desire and availability. Curiously enough, the age of sexual maturity in cats correlates roughly with the ages of their human sexualcounterparts, as the female feline sixmonths being the equivalent of a human females’ ten years and male feline sexual maturity age of one year being the human male equivalent of fifteenyears. Longhairs, cats of Persian ancestry have a human sexual maturation age of twentyaccounting for their late ‘puberty’ at one-and-half years of age.

The exact onset of a cats individual heatvaries depending on their genetic makeupbut is also dependent on the fulfilment of health conditions like nutrition and socialisation with other felines The hours of daylight have been noted as playing a crucial role, with the sexual activity of some breeds of domestic cat, like British shorthairs having their first heat cycle early in the seasonal calendar with the approach ofSpring, ten-hour period of continuous light being the trigger. Exotic cats like Siamese breeds can enter heat at any time throughout the year and all cats kept prisoner indoors enter the cycle of heat irrespective of the season or the changing hours of light. Male cats enter this cycle independent of the season, amount of light or condition of health; the only requirement being the detection of female cat pheromones and hearing their vocalised calls during the later stages of heat.

Pheromones are scent-based chemical communications which are secreted from various glands upon the body of the animal, deposited through physical contact. These glands are numerous on the base of the feline’s paws and on the face, concentrating on the forehead, chin, cheeks, lower ears and around the mouth. Pheromones are complicated messages containing up to forty different chemicals, with the invisible vapours being processed by the olfactory gland on the roof of the cats’ mouth, functioning as a message receptor. Lacking this oral receptacle, chemical communication goes undetected in humans.

‘Heat’ is scientifically termed the ‘Oestrus Cycle’ and is composed of four individual stages; ‘Anoestrous’, ‘Proestrus’, ‘Oestrus’, and ‘Metestrus’; all being of varying length and inducing their own effects upon the female cat. Cat breeder terminology is necessary for ease of understanding. Male cat breeding terms are, ‘tom’, a single male and, ‘sire’, the cat fathering a kitten litter. Female cat breeding terms are ‘molly’, a single female and, ‘queen’, a pregnant female and the mother of kittens. The Anoestrous stage is normal female cat behaviour when the queen is not sexually active and the ovaries within her are inactive. For Scotland, this typically runs from the late Autumn of September to throughout the waning chill of March.

The Proestrus stage is used to describe the opening of the Oestrous immediately following Anoestrus, comparable to the ‘Waning Crescent’ after the ‘New Moon’ ofthe Lunar Cycle. Proestrus lasts from one to four days with induced behaviours including increased appetite, restlessness, an utterance of low, short meows and a growing desire for attention from the molly’s owner. At this stage, sexual desire beginning to stir within her brought by the promotion of egg development encouraged from increased levels of oestrogen. but be unable to breed. However, the molly will be unable to breed as the ovaries are only starting to activate and her vulva, the outer lips of the vagina, only beginning to moisten and enlarging slightly with an absence of vaginal discharge.

The Oestrus stage is when the molly is capable of becoming pregnant. This is the specific stage which the title‘heat’ references and it lasts for ten to fourteen days. The molly will display anoutpouring of affection towards her owner by rubbing her body against them and urging for frequent, extended petting. During petting, the molly will assume the breeding posture with her body held low to the ground. The molly will be vocal throughout this period, continuously emittinga high-pitched chirping similar to the cry of the Indian peacock with the intent to attract lustful Toms within and beyond your local area. Virile males will congregate on the garden wall, stand upon the windowsills of your home and wait closely outside the door for a chance to meet your gorgeous feline. Mollys will have little to no vaginal discharge during the Oestrus phase in stark contrast to female dogs.

The Metestrus stage occurs immediately after the Oestrus stage. The female will not pay attention or accept males at this time and will return to her normal self. British shorthairs in Scotland will typically experience this reproductive cycle in April, and if unimpregnated, will occur every two to three weeks until the arrival of Autumn.

If dealing with the content detailed within the previous paragraphs is undesirable, owners can avoid it all through spaying their Molly. This is a veterinary procedure with the objective of removingthe cat's uterus and ovaries. Itsounds daunting,but leaves a minuscule scar on the left side of the cat's body. If kittens are desired in the future but not atpresent, then the molly must be kept indoors at all times, being vigilant to ensure that every escape method is closed, sealed or blocked. Cats being lithe, quick, and silent creatures, double-watchfulness should be employed when exiting or entering the home as the molly and toms will be eager to slip past you and indulge themselves in a moment of passion. I do observe overwhelming negativity in reference to the pregnancy of domestic cats, but do remind you that in the world of feline fancy, responsible breeding maintains the healthy lineage of all the iconic catbreeds we know and love.

and presenting her vaginal opening. The male will then stand over her, his paws clasped to the sides of her body, gripping the skin at the back of her neck by his teeth and moving his lower half around the lower end of her body until, by chance, genital alignment has been achieved. This can take awhile, but they get there eventually. A scream from the molly marks the beginning of penetration. Unfortunately, this is not a scream from burgeoning ecstasy, but of immense pain due to the multiple sharp spines covering the anatomy of the tom’s penis, their function being to embed themselves in the molly’s cavity to prevent her from slipping from his grip or being pushed off by a rival tom, tosecure successful impregnation. To the molly’s relief, cat mating is very short, the ordeal lasting under a minute. After the barbed instrument has been withdrawn from within her, the molly will immediately bat the tom away and begin to roll on the ground in aid of fertilisation by sloshing the semen around her womb and along walls of her cervix.

Accompanying your cat throughout her pregnancy, comforting her during the birth and witnessing the love between queen and kittens are memories so rare and beautiful that they ought to be weighted in antiquarian gems. However, enduring the fortnight-long oestrus stage behaviours are not at all pleasant for yourself or your wanting cat and can be quite disruptive to the rhythms of everyday life. Therefore, to relieve both cat and owner, I will now describe an acupressure technique that calms the Molly for upto three hours through the induction of afeline orgasm.

Note that the procedure is non-penetrative, so do not worry about getting your hands dirty. Acupressure is an alternative medical technique originating within the realm of traditional Chinese medicine in which physical pressure is applied to points on the body. The first step is to identify that your cat is in the Oestrus stage of the Oestrus Cycle using the descriptions within this article and then perform the following technique. Place yourself behind your cat so that you are facing her rump, which will be raised when pettingher back. Notice what side of her body hertail curls around and place the tip of your finger beside the base of the tail. Apply a firm downward pressure and then angle the pressure towards yourself. If successful, your cat's body will stiffen as though rigor-mortis runs throughout herand will begin drawling out long,hoarsemeows; the reaction mirroringwhen she is penetrated by a tom. Continue the pressure for fifteen to twenty seconds and release. She will immediately begin to roll on the ground, the same post-sex behaviourwithout the attacksince no pain was inflicted. The pressure is applied onto the molly’s clitoris and the release triggering her orgasm. She will now return to her normal self for two to three hours before needing to be relieved again. This is an easy, quick and effective technique for cat owners, as the constant meowing from your yearning pet can keep you awake well past your preferred bedtime and the solution is as simple as lifting her onto the bed, some light petting before applying pointpressure and waiting fifteen seconds. Owners can be at ease that they possess a three-hour window to enter a deep sleep and that their cathas been relieved. She will be ever so thankful.

Composed by,

Maurice Alexander, Undergraduate of Business Management