Social Anxiety Disorder – The Mental Paralysis Stigma Social Anxiety Disorder is a severe disabling condition. It can prevent the activity of anything to do with socialising or even just being among people. It can affect socialising, shopping, exercising, learning, working, having fun, leaving the house, and using the telephone and much more. SAD is a severe form of Social Phobia where there is an intense fear of social situations. The severity of the illness can vary from people who are severely anxious in group socialising to people who cannot even cope being around a loved one. As a sufferer of SAD I know too well how paralyzing the condition can be and compare it to a mental form Quadriplegia (paralysis caused by illness or injury to a human that results in the partial or total loss of use of all their limbs and torso). People may think that is an extreme statement to make because a sufferer of SAD is not physically paralyzed but what needs to be remembered is a sufferer of Quadriplegia can manage social situations. All be it stuck in a wheelchair but possible for them to interact and have a life unlike sufferers of SAD. SAD also has physical symptoms including panic attacks, blushing, sweating, trembling, palpitations, nausea and stammering. SAD often occurs alongside clinical depression. Part of a treatment for Depression may include getting out the house and doing things whether enjoyable or educational. Obviously, those with SAD alongside Depression are completely stuck. The stigma against mental illness’s are pretty poor but for SAD these include the myths that social anxiety just means that you feel nervous, social anxiety only refers to public speaking fears, social anxiety and shyness are the same thing and social anxiety is a problem that you have to learn to live with. These are all untrue and can dishearten anyone who has the condition to hear these myths. I was brought up in a family where no one believed in mental illness’s my family thought that because they had never experienced mental distress there was no such thing. This use to upset me to think that some people will only believe in mental illness’s if they have previously suffered from them. In my opinion those with mental illnesses need extra support given to them. I feel there is a lack of support in those with SAD, for example in school they took no notice of my disorder. It took a consultant psychiatrists letter and telephone call to get me out of school and into complimentary education (home tutoring). I’m now in a training agency gaining work based qualifications but part of this requires a work placement. Most offered to me I cannot do this is down to how many people work there and how to get there. For me I cannot cross traffic lights as I see cars as bad as people because they have people in them. I have missed proms, parties, disco’s, day’s out etc. for me I just get people telling me to “just get on and do it”, “don’t think about it” and “get over it”. The SAD restricts my amount of friends and what I can do so naturally I am a diagnosed clinical depressive. I was surprised to see that SAD is more common then you think. SAD is hard to describe to people who don’t have it and that’s why there are so many people who don’t understand it. The only way I describe it to people is too imagine it being a really hot and sunny day and wanting to go to the beach for a soak and walk on the sand and having real bad flu which restricts you to your house all day. Treatment is available and it is strongly
recommended. The success rates in medication and psychotherapy (CBT) is really high. I think some people need to learn that not being able to go out and enjoy yourself, missing days out with loved ones, feeling uncomfortable in every social situation, worrying about being in an exam hall because of the amount of people inside rather than worrying about the exam itself is more then just “shyness”. Diary of a person with Social Anxiety Disorder (and clinical depression) 8.00am – As much to my disgust I’ve woken up, unfortunately I did not die in my sleep. I’m lying in bed thinking about my day and all the social points like getting to work and greeting my colleagues and being surrounded by people. I’ve just woken up and I’ve already got my anxiety symptoms my stomach feels like it’s lifted above my internal organs and it feels like its bubbling. I feel sick. Obviously I would rather stay in bed (all day) but I’ve got to support myself some how. I’ve finally managed to force myself out of bed. I’m having a wash not that I see the point I hardly have friends and have no relationship so straight after work it’s straight back to my room for the rest of the night, but then again hygiene issues isn’t going to get me any of them either so I force myself into the shower. I feel too sick to eat but then I know I’ll end up with headaches and stomach pains in the day so I make myself have a bowl of cereal and a drink. 8.50am – My dad’s taking me to work. I cannot drive because I know the anxiety of having driving lessons and tests would cause me to fail. Unfortunately I cannot learn because I would be too anxious to take in anything someone says so I would just nod my head pretending to understand something. I’m too busy trying to make it look like I’m learning to actually learn as I’m scared of being embarrassed or humiliated. Also turning up outside a theory centre would be too much. My dad’s just dropped me off in town. I can see people and immediately my stomach is feeling lifted again, feeling sick, sweating, heart pounding and ready to faint. I want to run home but I know I can’t. I stagger into the town centre where there are hundreds of cars and people it’s all too much to bear so I start to dissociate into an overly-confident person with my head held high, smiling and swaggering away. I can’t help doing this but it doesn’t bother me because I know it keeps the peoples thoughts side of things clear. I don’t have to worry about people pointing and talking about me being miserable and uncomfortable. Even when I dissociate all my physical symptoms are still there. I take a deep breath and enter work (charity shop). The second I enter I say “hello” while looking away from the person because I know that when someone see’s you for the first time they eye you up from head to toe and have a good look at you. When asked how I am I lie “I’m fine” and what I did last night I lie again “loads went shopping then went out and had a drink with my friends”. 12.30pm – Lunch time. I’m expected to leave the shop and enter the town centre again to get something to “eat”. I have an hour. I can’t eat in front of people and I think my manager and deputy manager realised this because I never go out for
lunch. So they told me to get food and bring it back to eat upstairs with them not realising that that is also not possible. 4.00pm – I’m now leaving the shop and walking through the centre of town to the taxi station (dads working) where I will be forced to sit in a car with a person I don’t know just to get home. I’m scared the taxi drivers will talk about me behind my back so I start to make conversation (shaking while doing so). When I get home I enter the house and immediately go to the cupboard and make myself something to eat (I’m starving!!) I then go to bed to recover for an hour. The reason for this is because every night I come home from work feeling tired and having a headache because of the amount of distress in the day. Some nights I won’t get out of bed and stay there all night, literally sleeping up to 15 hours. When I tell people they think it’s awful. But I see nothing wrong with it after all what do I have to do in the evening? I can’t read books because I cannot concentrate, I sometimes might watch the soap opera’s I like watching other people’s lives which is no surprise since mine is so boring and sad. 11.00pm (if I’m not already in bed from 4.30pm where I stay until morning) – My anxious feeling is back I know that as soon as I wake up from my comfortable bed it’s going to be another vicious cycle, another torturous day. I can’t sleep I’m worrying too much. I’m using advice writing my worries down on paper and worrying about them in the morning but it’s not working. I’m having a cigarette to calm me down but it won’t work. I hate this why can’t I just sleep it’s the only time I’m happy when I’m unconscious. Many people with social anxiety’s diary may be similar to this if not worse. By adding that diary into the essay I’m hoping people will begin to understand what it’s like to have social anxiety disorder and the pain and discomfort it comes with. If you suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder seek help immediately the condition could worsen if it isn’t already at it’s worst.