4 minute read
Gary Pitts p. 26 Laniece Davis p. 28
Part 2 by Laneice Davis, Ashe County
My son, Kaleb, was injured when he was 11 years old. He was hit by a large tree limb during a camping trip. Due to the injury, Kaleb has several physical and mental handicaps to overcome. He has always insisted that there nothing wrong with him. Then a new challenge came when he became old enough to get his driver’s license.
Kaleb has not been able to move or feel his left arm since he was injured. There is muscle damage and severe scoliosis due to nerve damage. There was also brain damage and damage to the spinal cord in his neck. The injury weakened his whole system. Every nerve in his body was affected. There are balance issues and other problems. It has been a combination of faith and will power for Kaleb to come this far. For a while, Kaleb was in a wheelchair, but there was never an attitude of being handicapped!
In order to get a driver’s license, we were required by the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to go to Charlotte to a rehabilitation center for Kaleb to be evaluated. The rehab center reports to the DMV. Kaleb was infuriated. He was fine! I had to practice tough love with him telling him that we had to obey the laws. The evaluation was done all the while Kaleb saying he was fine.
It’s Okay to Be Angry
Then we waited. Two weeks later, while I was home alone, I heard the mail run. I just knew there was a letter in the mailbox. In my mind, I was convinced, this letter represented my son’s healing….or not. There were things I had not dealt with in my own heart. There is a fine line between faith and denial. I felt I had to keep a happy face all the time, assuring myself and others that my son was healed. I did this for years. It had all built up in me, and this letter represented whether my son was healed and normal or not. If not, I was stuck in this darkness.
This letter was going to be concrete evidence from God that Kaleb was going to be healed at such and such a time. As I prayed on my knees, I was convinced that if I had enough faith, there would be a driver’s license in the mailbox. I walked to the mailbox, sifted through the magazines, junk mail, and bills, but there was no letter from the DMV. I was home alone and everything came out. I could barely see to get back to the house. I lay on my bedroom floor and cried. I wasn’t angry with God but with the situation. I talked to the situation by saying, “How dare you…you let me suffer for five years now…the least you could do is tell me this where it stops!” I’m not sure whom I was talking to at this point.
The agony of seeing no letter from the DMV in the mailbox made me angry with Satan. I felt he had taken the letter out of the mailbox! Slowly, I began to feel God’s presence. I started praying to God for repentance and for throwing a temper tantrum because I was so angry.
Peace in Place of Anger
God revealed to me that he was angry too. He had never created his world to be like this. He said, “Its okay for you to be angry. Let’s be angry together!” Instantly the anger was gone. There was peace. I had permission to be angry. God allowed me that time alone to get it all out. I got up, washed my face, and everything was okay. It was like it had never happened.
The next day, without thinking, I went to the mailbox and on top was the letter from the DMV. The letter congratulated my son and told him to come get his driver’s license. There were only two minor adjustments that had to be made to the vehicle.
The anger and the fear have never come again. Before, I was convinced and said that Kaleb was going to be (completely) healed. Now, no matter how much healing or when Kaleb is healed doesn’t matter.
I’ve learned that there is a big difference in faith that God will do something and having faith in God. The difference is you can believe God will do something specific and sometimes it will happen. But true faith is being okay when it doesn’t happen. Faith is believing even when you don’t see God in action. Shallow faith has to see it to believe it. You’ve got to get to the point that nothing matters but God. As horrible as Kaleb’s accident and what we all went through has been, it’s still the biggest blessings I’ve ever known.
