7 minute read
ADAM YOUNCE
Finding Hope and Rest in Jesus
Adam Younce
Adam Younce has worked at Grandfather Home for Children since 2007. He began his employment as a Child Youth Care Worker, moved into administrative roles, and is now currently the Trainer and Online Developer for staff, volunteers, and foster families. Adam also serves as the worship leader at Cornerstone Fellowship in West Jefferson. He and his wife Meredith live in Elk Park with their four children, Gracie, Gibson, Liam, and Aiden.
Iremember waking up early before school so that I could be alone. At nine years old, I would sit there and cut up my arms with the razor blades I had. From an early age, I learned to internalize the pain I felt.
My childhood was filled with suffering and affliction. In addition to my parents getting divorced when I was 11, I grew up around domestic violence. There were so many things going on that I couldn’t control as a kid. Cutting seemed to be the only pain I could control, so I continued to indulge in self harm.
My mother remarried nearly two years after the divorce. Her new husband didn’t like the idea of having me around, so I was left with one option: to move in with my dad. I lived with my dad for the next four years, and continued to cut myself and use drugs. I worked at hiding my cuts because I didn’t want anyone to see my pain.
During this stage in my life, I really wrestled with Christianity. Although I was attending a local church, I also began practicing Wicca. I wanted very little to do with Christianity because I was so hurt by the choices my parents made. They both proclaimed to be Christians, and I didn’t want to be what they were. It was apparent through my outward appearance that I was beginning to battle with faith and religion. I wore a lot of black clothing to express this dark path
I was on. Even more disheartening, I was told by people at the church that I had to leave because of it. Being cast out from church only drove me deeper into Wicca.
While I was grappling with those feelings of rejection, I discovered my mother had an illness called Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS). She was near death, and on life-support for months. So at 17, I moved out of my dad’s house and moved in with my mother.
Our relationship was never great, but God used her illness as an almost perfect opportunity for us to grow close. I took care of her and spent quality time with her. In those moments together, I began to recall some of the things she told me about Jesus. I started going back to church and getting involved with a local youth group. I even began labeling myself as a Christian.
One day, my mom and I received a flyer in the mail, about a Bible Camp. It was the weirdest thing, because we had never received anything like it. We weren’t affiliated with the church or the people involved with the camp, but I remember thinking, “I have to go to this camp.” So I raised enough financial support and attended the Bible camp for three months. I often look back over that camp as God’s intervention for my life.
During my time at camp, I developed a love for reading the Bible and spending time in prayer. It was the exact thing I needed to help me see that God was doing something bigger inside of me. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior at camp, but when that summer camp ended, I went right back to hanging out with the same friends I had before. They noticed a big change in me, but acted like things wouldn’t change between us. Eventually all of those relationships disappeared, and I was alone. I didn’t have any friends for a while, but I was learning how to give my pain to Jesus.
I was trying to be this different person, to be a Christian, and to do good, but I didn’t know where to start. I was still resorting to old habits and thinking. Then there was a loud wake up call. One night while sitting and talking to a friend about some plans we had devised to hurt ourselves and to cast demon spells, I heard God speak to me. In the middle of our conversation, I heard the words come from this boy’s mouth, “You’re going to hell.” Although my friend told me he didn’t say those words, I knew it was God speaking to me. I knew I really needed to change. remember repenting and praying, “God, I’ve done this and this… I hold all this sadness to myself and feel so unworthy of Your love.” That prayer broke me. God broke me, and it was the first time I really felt love.
It wasn’t too long after that I really started to get plugged into a church community and grow in my faith by leaps and bounds. The pastor of my church took me under his wing and really encouraged me to lead worship at my church. I started to lead worship, and it was something very new and different for me. I always loved music because my dad was a musician and that’s what I grew up around. On the other hand, I was learning the true meaning of worship and discovering how to really pour my heart out to God. I was finally using my talents for Him. Being in this environment of faith was something new and necessary for me.
Soon thereafter, I met my wife, Meredith. She completely changed my world view. I came from a life filled with such a painful childhood, and she came from a faith-centered family grounded on the love of God. Through her family experiences and solid faith, it really helped me understand what a healthy and Godly family looks like.
in a long time, until my sister passed away from a drug overdose. I went through a hazy spell during that time because I didn’t know how to handle the pain. My sister and I were really close, so her death was almost intolerable. I wanted to internalize that pain again. During times like that, I really struggle with returning to my old ways. I remember hearing all of Satan’s lies. This is your past. This is who you are. You’ll never be anything better. But the voice of truth comes in and I hear Jesus say, “Come all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Mourning through that grievous season was a tough struggle, but I knew Jesus was always inviting me to come rest in Him.
I am thankful for people like Meredith and my father-in-law, who showed me Christ’s love and continue to do so unconditionally. Their love gave me the courage and strength to walk in a lot of forgiveness and grace. After years of not speaking to my dad, I remember being filled with so much love and determination that I finally called him. When he answered, I had nothing but apologies to say for the things that I did and said to hurt him. I told him about the changes in my life and how I gave my life to Jesus. I never thought it would happen, but my dad is now saved and we continue to communicate regularly.
I went from being a completely hopeless person to someone who tries to tell everybody that there is hope. That hope is found in Jesus. I love sharing my story. Through the despair, I was able to experience the love and grace of God. My life was filled with so much darkness when I walked around carrying that heavy load of suffering, anger and hurt, but then God came into my life and introduced me to the reality of true freedom and of His love. Written with Pangshua Riley ~
