Everything is Fine, Taline Arouchian (11

Everything is Fine

Taline Arouchian, 11

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just start my homework? It’s sitting right there and I have nothing else to do. Why don’t I just pick it up and finish it? I’ve never not done my homework before. There’s no reason I shouldn’t do it now. Except maybe because I feel a little sad. I shouldn’t feel sad though because everything’s fine. My family is healthy. I am healthy. I have some friends. I go to school. I have food to eat. I live in a nice neighborhood. I have nothing to worry about. There is no reason I should feel like this. Why do I feel like this? Why don’t I just finish my homework? I don’t understand what I’m feeling. Not understanding makes me angry. Why did I just yell at my sister? I didn’t mean to yell at her. She did nothing wrong. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell! Why can’t she hear me? Hello? Can anyone hear me? What’s going on? I just want to be alone. I still need to finish my homework. I’ll finish it tonight. It feels gray today. I yelled at my sister again. What’s wrong with me? I don’t have a right to feel this way. My feelings aren’t valid. Maybe I’m just a bad person. There’s no reason I should feel this way. I have everything I want. I miss the sun. But I don’t want to leave my room. If I go outside maybe I’ll feel better. I wanted to leave but I stayed in my room. Can this stop? Can everything stop just for one second so I can catch my breath? Why are we moving so fast? The days feel like years and seconds. I still haven’t finished my homework. It’s been two weeks. I need to finish that assignment. Will people notice if my grades slip? Maybe they’ll see that something’s wrong. But I’m not allowed to fail. I’d rather suffer than fail. But I’m not even supposed to be suffering because nothing’s wrong. Everything in my life is going great. Except that I might feel a little sad. It’s just a bad day. It’s just a few bad days. It’s just twenty bad days. It’s just a bad month. It’s getting pretty bad and I don’t know what to do.