2 minute read
TO LIFE
Talking tokids
about Cancer
After receiving a cancer diagnosis, one of the first concerns many parents have is how to discuss this news with their children. Although this task can seem daunting, being the first to communicate this news to your kids can go a long way in helping them cope.
BY MELISSA TATE WITT
The way this conversation happens depends on many things: the age of your children, the details of your diagnosis and the dynamics of your family. There is no wrong way to have this conversation! You know best how to approach it, but here are a few things to keep in mind.
Make a plan
Before you share the news, be sure you are ready to do so. Being ready doesn’t mean emotions won’t be present. In fact, they are welcome and necessary to express. Just take a little time to prepare for what you wish to cover.
When’s the best time to have this conversation? Some want to share this information immediately, and others would rather wait to know more details about the prognosis and treatment plan. Consider a time and place that is easy to talk and also easy to decompress. You don’t want to feel rushed, but you also don’t want to be so isolated it’s hard to resume to “normal life” upon them receiving the news.
Think about who should be involved in the conversation. One parent or two? Several of the children at once, or each one differently?
Again, there is no wrong way. Spend time thinking through what feels best for you and your family.
Hit the important stuff
Beforehand, outline the details you wish to cover, as they may be different depending on the ages of your children. Regardless of their ages, be as honest as possible and use real terms to avoid confusion and fear. It is also perfectly okay to not have the answers for all of their questions. Let them know that you don’t know but will try to find the answer for them.
Remember this is the initial conversation— not the only one. The goal here is to lay out the situation, set expectations for upcoming changes to the current household lifestyle, and establish a secure place for emotions and open dialogue within the family. Additional discussion can follow based on the needs of your family and changes that come along the way.
Be patient
Allow time for your children to process this information and don’t be surprised if their reaction is different than you expected. Many children won’t react at all to the news or mostly be worried about how any changes will impact them.
Above everything else, be patient. Don’t feel like your conversation will go according to a script. As things get started, allow questions to happen and be ready to experience various emotions from everyone—It is expected and healthy.
