6 minute read
REAL LIFE
FIRST-HAND ADVICE AND INSIGHT TO HELP CAREGIVERS COPE
A DISCUSSION WITH BETTY EHRLICH & ELAINE KIRKPATRICK
When she was three years old, Betty Ehrlich lost her mother to breast cancer. Today, Betty is herself a three-time cancer survivor. Her daughter Elaine has been by her side through all three struggles. The duo shared what they’ve each learned and how prayer and positive thinking have proven powerful weapons in all of Betty’s cancer battles.
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Please tell us a little bit about your cancer story. Betty: In March of 1984, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age of 54. Doctors found a tumor close to my aorta, and it was too dangerous to remove it. The next morning when I woke up, a gentleman was sitting on the floor holding my hand. He said, “Hi, I am Dr. Norgard and I am going to do everything I can to help you.” At that time there was no such thing as the Montgomery Cancer Center. I went to Dr. Norgard’s office once a week for six weeks for chemo. I sat in a tiny lab on a stool and a nurse gave me an injection of chemo, nothing for nausea, nothing for pain, just straight chemo. Next was radiation at Baptist Hospital. Many friends and fellow congregants helped out driving me to and from my many appointments. With a lot of faith, prayer, positive attitude, wonderful friends and good doctors, I survived.
In early 1999, again I was not feeling well. Dr. Norgard was no longer in Montgomery, and my doctor was Dr. Mac Barnes. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer; I was 69. By that time the Montgomery Cancer Center had been built and cancer treatments had come a long way. I again underwent chemo and radiation. With a lot of faith, prayer, positive attitude, wonderful friends and good doctors, I survived.
In 2001, I was having problems with my back. Dr. Barnes sent me for a biopsy to make sure the cancer had not returned, and everything came back clear. However, I started feeling bad, and six weeks later I ended up in Birmingham seeing a back specialist who performed surgery to repair a back problem he found. The incision healed well except for one small place, so I went to a general surgeon for repair to the incision. This surgeon also specialized in breast cancer research and surgery. For some reason he took an interest in me and all my former cancer diagnoses. When he found out I was Jewish and of Ashkenazi decent, he suggested I and my daughter Elaine be tested for the BRAC1 and BRAC2 genes. In October of 2004, we went for genetic counseling. I was tested first, and Elaine would be tested if mine was positive.
On the same day I was to get my genetic test results, I had a mammogram, and they saw something that was suspected cancer. That afternoon, I learned I’d tested positive for the BRAC1 and BRAC2 genes. Talk about a double whammy. I was 74 years old at the time. So, here I went again: surgery to remove the tumor and more radiation. But, once again with a lot of faith, prayer, positive attitude, wonderful friends and good doctors, I survived.
Since I tested positive for the BRAC1 and BRAC2 gene, Elaine was then tested. Thanks to a lot of faith, prayer and a positive attitude, her test came back negative.
What was your first thought when you heard your diagnoses? Betty: I was shocked, but I had faith in my doctors and believed they were going to do all they could to help me beat cancer all three times, and they did!
DON’T WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO TELL YOU WHAT THEY NEED, JUST DO SOMETHING KIND FOR THEM.
Through your treatment process and/or after, what did you want and need from your friends and family? Betty: My family and friends were all so wonderful. They were there for me every step of the way. I did not want people to shy away from me. I just wanted them to treat me like they always had, and they did.
What forms of help and support really stood out? Betty: Everyone was so wonderful. People brought food, sent cards, called to check on me and my family, and drove me to my chemo and radiation treatments. Friends came and sat with me through my chemo sessions to help pass the time. With my first bout with cancer, a very dear friend of the family, Jerry Berlin, drove me to some of my chemo treatments and almost all of my radiation treatments. How many men do you know that would volunteer to do that? That was very special to me.
What one thing did you do for yourself that most helped you cope? Betty: I continued to try to live my life as normal as possible. When I felt like it, I walked in the morning, went to work and participated in services and activities at my synagogue. I did a lot of praying and believed that with the knowledge of my doctors and through the power of prayer, I was going to be alright.
What advice would you give caregivers, on how to approach and help their loved one going through cancer treatment? Betty: Just be there for the person. Don’t ask them what they need. Just do something kind for them. What things have most helped you cope with your role as a caregiver for your mother? Elaine: Her positive attitude. She never felt sorry for herself and she always did what her doctors asked of her. She was always very appreciative of anything I did for her. She is a wonderful role model for me and many people who have been diagnosed with cancer.
What advice would you give other caregivers on how to approach and help their loved one going through cancer treatment? Elaine: It is not an easy role being a caregiver. There are many ups and downs. If your loved one is having a bad day and may say or do something that hurts your feelings, just overlook it. Tomorrow will be a better day and always, always stay positive!
What has your cancer journey taught you? Betty: I have learned so much through my journey of three different cancer diagnoses. I have learned what is important in life. Always treat people with kindness, because you never know what they are going through. Don’t wait for someone to tell you what they need, just do something kind for them. And, with a lot of faith, prayer, a positive attitude and wonderful friends, you can get through anything. On March 8, 2020, I was blessed to turn 90 years old.
Find hope in oth ers .
Read more survivor stories in our Real Life archives online at joytolife.org.
The “Breast Cancer” Gene
Certain variants of the genes BRAC1 and BRAC2 are associated with an 80 percent increase in breast cancer risk. Some women who discover this gene mutation within their genetic makeup will take proactive steps to reduce their risk of cancer, including preemptive mastectomies and even hysterectomies. As scientists deepen their understanding of the role of genetics in breast cancer risk, research has turned to developing individualized breast cancer treatments based on a woman’s genetic makeup. Meanwhile, some research focuses on techniques to repair or even replace harmful genes before breast cancer occurs.
