Bullying by Joyce Chau

BULLYING

a digital booklet raising awareness about bullying

Table of Contents Introduction

Forms of Bullying

Why Do People Bully

Effects of Bullying What is Being Done What You Can Do

Cyber Bullying

Stories

References

Table of Contents

"With ignorance comes fear - from fear comes bigorty. Education is the key to acceptance" - Kathleen Patel (author of The Bullying Peidemic)

Introduction

out of 4 teens are bullied and 9 out of 10 LGBT students are harassed in multiple ways. (Bullying Statistics). Bullying is a form of constant and repetitive abuse and an issue that has been going on for generations, an issue that is built into the "norm" of our society. Many people don't realize the importance of this issue and the extreme consequences it can lead to, and the effects that build on each other, leading into other social issues. Bullying once existed within school grounds, but with the technology we have today, it now exists everywhere we go, even at home, which is why bullying has become a more serious and significant issue than ever. This isn't something that stops over time - it starts in pre-school and continues on beyond high school. The way bullying happens changes over time, and often, victims are affected by more

than one form of bullying. Both genders are equally likely to be bullied, but boys are more physical and verbal, whereas girls bully through other social forms. Nonetheless, both genders use all different forms. When it comes down to bullying, everyone's involved one way or the other. Everyone is either the bully, victim or bystander. This digital booklet aims to raise awareness about bullying by providing information about this social issue. Different ways to help is also talked about, as well as different real life stories of bullying such as Casey Heynes and Demi Lovato. There needs to be an end to this ongoing topic because no one deserves to be treated this way.

Artist: Jessica Nip

Table of Contents

Forms of Bullying Bullying exists in every form imaginable, but they all fall into four main categories: physical, verbal, emotional and cyber bullying (Forms of Bullying).

Physical Bullying: - Kicking - Punching - Pushing - Damaging the victim's property This is the most obvious form of bullying, as it is easy to identify. The aggressiveness varies with age, and many victims have been seriously injured, and puts them at great risk because many times, the result is more severe than the bully had intended it to be. Physical bullying is also the only form that leaves physical scars.

Verbal Bullying: - Name calling & teasing - Threatening - Racist & homophobic comments - Insulting Verbal bullying is a common form of bullying especially within school and classroom settings. It is also the quickest way to bully someone; one powerful word can impact the victim's lives. It doesn't leave a visible scar and is easily unnoticed, therefore the result is often more devastating than it seems. Name calling is the most frequent of all, and negative comments about someone's appearance, intellectual capacity, sexuality and personality are made.

Emotional Bullying: - Exclusion - Gossiping - Spreading rumors Emotional bullying is often linked to verbal bullying. It is often about purposely ignoring someone and making them feel disliked or alone within a peer group. By gossiping about someone and having them as the subject of rumors, the person will easily be hurt.

Cyber Bullying: - Texting - Emails & social networks (eg. Facebook, Twitter, blogs) - Instant messaging/ chat rooms Cyber bullying is today's most common and powerful form of bullying, and is basically a combination of verbal and emotional bullying that takes place in the virtual world. This is powerful because of its anonymity and isn't face-to-face, therefore not as intimate. Furthermore, cyber bullying can happen any time, and often, there is a huge audience.

Table of Contents

Why Do People Bully? There are many reasons as to why people bully each other. Most of the time, it has to do with peer pressure and the response a bully is getting from them. It brings in popularity and is seen as "cool". Also, if peers are bullying others, you easily lose your "moral compass" and do the same. This also has to do with the environment created and the rules that exist. Where rules are less strict, bullying tends to happen more, and become continuous, as no one is putting a stop to it. By bullying someone, they get a sense of overpowering someone by picking on someone's weakness. People in today's culture are naturally "fascinated" by power, often through violent means because it attracts attention. This ultimately creates a society where people learn that violence is acceptable, which worsens the bullying. Having power is one

thing, but abusing it is another (Why Do People Bully). The bully's background is often another factor. Their family relationships and how they are treated influences their personality and actions, such as growing up in a punitive and harsh atmosphere. Family communication is important because those who don't share their feelings with each other aren't able to express themselves fully. Regardless, the bully might have experienced bullying before, and is now taking it back out on someone else. They might also be making up for other hardships they went through. Either way, they have a "deep troubling need of [their] own" and are not taught to appreciate and accept other's differences (Why Do Kids Bully).

Effects of Bullying Physical wounds heal easily, but the emotional wound can't always be healed. As teens, it is important to feel a sense of belonging and self confidence. However, victims of bullying often feel disconnected and rejected by their peer group. Bullying affects the victim's daily lives and health, ranging from poor physical and psychological health to suicidal thoughts. Victims often suffer academically as they are unable to concentrate, or no longer want to go to school as it is not a safe environment for them. They lose their chance to fully explore their interests and thus affects their future education and job opportunities. A study even showed that 1 in 10 students miss more than 21 days of school a year in Florida. This problem only "snowballs" over time, and students end up missing up to 6 months of

school over 5 years (Isensee). Identity is a social process, built by the contribution of everyone, with peers saying what is worthy of a person and what is valued in society. As the subject to bullying, the victims' identities are damaged and lost. This often leads a lack self acceptance, and ultimately believing themselves to be what others see them as, weak, pathetic and hopeless, even though it is not true (Dombeck). Both the bully and victim might become violent in their adulthood. Teen bullies are more likely have criminal convictions and tend to be more abusive towards peers as adults. It is also said that 12 out of 15 shooters of school shooting cases in the 90s have a history of being bullied (Effects of Bullying).

Short Term Effects:

Long Term Effects:

- Anger - Depression - Avoidance of settings where bullying may occur - Anxiety - Poor academic performance & loss of interest in activities - Suicidal thoughts & suicide (not directly linked to bullying)

- Difficulty trusting people & socializing with peers - Increased tendency to be a loner - Low self-esteem (overly sensitive) - Higher chance of continued victimization - Other psychological issues - self harm, eating disorders

"When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless" - Chris Colfer6

Table of Contents

What Is Being Done

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/

http://www.stopbullying.gov

PACER: PACER is a huge project that raises awareness about bullying through events like National Bullying Prevention Month (October). It is an interactive site that allows people to share their stories or videos. There are also resources to educate people about bullying, recent news and an online petition for people to get involved, because "the end of bullying begins with you".

Stopbullying.gov: Stopbullying.gov is a website maintained by the US government which means the government is aware of this issue. Like PACER, it has a lot of resources, information and suggested places where people can get help. This site shows that putting an end to bullying starts with educating people, it's not simply just stopping it.

http://www.itgetsbetter.org

http://tinyurl.com/ellenUAB

It Gets Better: The It Gets Better campaign is an anti-bullying campaign that focuses mainly LGBT bullying awareness, telling victims that "it gets better". This project is another interactive site for people to post videos and messages. On the site, there are many ways to get involved - donating, signing a pledge, etc.

United Against Bullying: United Against Bullying is a campaign started by Ellen DeGeneres, a strong advocate against bullying, especially LGBT bullying. On the site, there are inspiring stories, videos from different celebrities, etc. Through this campaign, Ellen hopes to put a stop to bullying, because people should be "kind to one another".

Table of Contents

What You Can Do The misconception that bullying is socially unacceptable and not the norm of society needs to be changed, and it takes more than just campaigns and being a part of them. It is important to learn from a young age not be bully. The simplest way to do your part is to just treat everyone with respect because everyone is different, not better or worse.

As the bully... If you have the urge to bully, find an alternative to occupy yourself. Develop your own interests and pursue them to boost your self-esteem positively. It is a decision you make to deal with your power differently in meaningful ways by fulfilling goals and finding the courage through fear (Domeck). Change your behaviors by apologizing to the people you bullied, and be friendly to them instead and develop trust.

As the victim... Laugh it off, ignore them and don't take it personally. The bully's goal is ultimately to make you feel

bad, so if you show them such reactions, they will feel that they have succeeded and continuing. Remember that the bully is the problem, not you. It is important to tell a trusted adult about this, whether it be parents, teachers, counsellors, etc and make it clear that it is hurting you. Know who your real friends are and focus your energy and time with them. Planning revenge won't help, it will only make the situation worse and turn you into a bully (Bullies: How to Handle It).

As a bystander... Bystanders aren't innocent. Being an audience and not reporting it means you are "siding" with the bully. Just by simply saying "stop it!" will make a larger difference than it seems. Stand up for others and be kind to the victim by showing that you care and including them. You can also get involved by finding out about the bullying in school and being active in anti-bullying programs (Bullies: Innocent Bystanders).

"Living well is the best revenge" - George Herbert

Table of Contents

Cyber bullying

Cyber bullying is an easy and common way for peers to bully each other. Technology is built into our culture, and the cyber world is where they spend most of their time; it's how we communicate with each other. What makes cyber bullying different than "traditional" bullying is that the bully "hides behind the Internet's cloak of anonymity", with a less chance of physical retaliation and for their real identity to be found. 12 years ago, this was not an issue, but with the technology we are given today, more people are bullied than ever. It's easy for someone to say mean things over a screen, but it hurts just as much for the person to receive

it. 75% of cyber bullies have never bullied anyone offline or face-to-face (Gibson). Forms of cyber bullying (Gilkerson): - Gossip - Exclusion - Impersonation - Harassment - Cyberstalking - Flaming - Trickery - Cyber threats

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself" 11

- Harvey Fierstein

The reasons of why people cyber bully are similar to why people bully in real life: entertainment, power, popularity and the possibility of revenge. Teens at home often lack attention from their parents, or have no restrictions online, therefore they entertain themselves by bullying others. Bullying within school grounds is not enough for many, which is why they continue online. What's worse is that nothing is forgotten once it is posted - it only spreads, giving the bully a larger audience. This means that there is no escape from cyber bullying. Girls are also twice as likely to be victims than boys because of the time they spend in chat rooms (11 Facts About Cyber Bullying).

easily unnoticed. You should also talk to an adult if you witness or suffer from cyber bullying, especially parents, since most of this happens beyond school boundaries. The positive side to this is by taking screenshots and keeping evidence, it is easier to prove that someone has been mistreating you than traditional bullying because evidence doesn't go away (Cyberbullying). Read about Charlotte Dawson's story of cyber bullying here.

Empathy and humor is the weapon when it comes to stopping the cyber bullies. "Turn the other cheek" and don't respond, or it will only get worse. Cyber bullying must be reported because it is

Table of Contents

INSPIRING Stories & MESSAGES

Demi Lovato

Amanda Todd

Casey Heynes 13

Jonah Mowry

Ellen DeGeneres

Misc. Stories 14

Stories Navigation

"People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that's not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I still haven't forgotten" - Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato

emi Lovato is one of the many victims of childhood bullying. People at school were calling her "fat" and signing hate petitions against her to the point where she decided to homeschool instead. This all led to developing eating disorders and depression, where she cut herself for the first time at the age of 11. Since then, she would often not eat for days, and when she did, it was in small amounts and would end up throwing it back up after.

built up and eventually in 2010, at the age of 18, she quit her tour to seek treatment for everything she was going through. There she was diagnosed as bipolar, and eventually recovered from cutting and eating disorders.

Since her recovery, Demi has been very outspoken about her past issues in hopes to help those who are going through the same things she went through. She even believes that everything she had to go through during her "darkest moments" has made her She was lucky enough to have her music and acting a stronger person altogether. Her story is the perfect example of how bullying can lead to so many career as in outlet, where she was able to write other psychological issues. Her motto "stay strong" music to express her feelings. With the pressure is a huge inspiration to many other teens. from her career and her inner battles, everything

Stories Navigation

Amanda Todd It started in 7th grade when Amanda was in chat rooms meeting new people. They made her feel confident and happy about herself, as they often called her beautiful and pretty. They told her to flash one day, and she did. One year later, she received a threatening message from an unknown man that if she didn't "put on a show" for him he would send everyone Amanda knew the picture. Eventually, people found out. She become depressed, often felt sick was into drugs and alcohol.

was even physically bullied and left alone on the ground. When she finally went home, she drank bleach and tried to kill herself, but doctors flushed out the bleach in time. Amanda moved again, but it was no use. People were tagging her in pictures of different types of bleach and encouraging her to try a new type.

On October 10, 2012 she took her life by hanging herself, a month after sharing her story on YouTube. She was only 15. Since then, many tribute Amanda moved places several times as a new start, (Facebook) sites have been created in memory of Amanda. No one deserves to lose their life because but the man was after her everywhere she went. of one mistake they made. Her respect was lost from all her peers, had no friends and couldn't go anywhere. At one point she

Stories Navigation

Jonah Mowry Jonah Mowry was always made fun of and called various homophobic slurs and other names. He has been bullied everyday since first grade, and first started cutting himself because of this in second grade. He became helpless and depressed, and even considered suicide many times. Without a lot of friends he didn't have the social support he needs and because of what others say to him, he was no longer proud of himself. Before sharing his story through a video with cue cards on YouTube no one knew what he was going

through and the severity of it. He quickly gained support from viewers all around the world, and his video has been viewed over 10 million times today. He now seeks treatment and feels better about himself and even posts advice on his channel for those who are going through the same issues.

Casey Heynes Casey Heynes has been bullied since second grade both verbally and physically. People would always call him names, or simply just beat him up, bash him or hit him against the lockers, tripping him or even throwing water bombs at him. It only got worse when he lost every one of his eight friends in high school after one person started the teasing. This made him an easier target with no one to back him up. The bullying happened everyday as he was always alone. At one point he even contemplated suicide and everything just piled on. He was close with his sister, who got him through these tough times. They spent a lot of time together, and his sister was the one who looked out for him

all the time. His cousin who he considered as his best friend was also bullied, and they would often talk about it, until the bullying took over his cousin's life. His story became well known when he fought back his bullies. The video of him throwing the bully onto the ground and make it all stop became a viral hit overnight, with many people supporting what he did. As a victim of bullying, fighting back in such violent means is not always the best way out, but for Casey, the bullying finally stopped and now he has support from people from all over the world.

Stories Navigation

Ellen DeGeneres Ellen doesn't publicly talk about personal experiences with bullying, but she is a strong advocate against bullying and often invites survivors of bullying to her show. This is an issue close to her heart, something she truly cares about. In addition, she is also the founder of United Against Bullying and often talks about bullying on her show. Ellen invites victims of bullying to her show because it allows her audience to connect with these numerous personal stories rather than just talking about

it. As a talk show host, she sends a powerful message that something needs to be done because no one deserves to live in a place where they can't feel safe but instead be in a positive place. Everyone should be who they are without being teased or picked on.

"Things will get easier.. people's minds will change; and you should be alive to see it" - Ellen DeGeneres

Stories Navigation

Misc. STories Karen Klein Karen Klein is a 68 year old bus monitor in New York who was verbally bullied by students on the bus and ended up in tears. The footage was then posted online by one of the students who had filmed the whole situation. The video spread quickly and she was soon another famous victim of bullying. Soon, a donation campaign with an initial goal of $5000 USD was set up to allow Karen to enjoy a vacation but within days, more than $700,000 was received (Findlay). See more

Shan Shan Jiang As a Chinese immigrant to America, Shan Shan was bullied for being Chinese at school. People would murmur racist comments as they walked by her at school, girls would stick tape to her hair and entertained themselves as she tried to get it out. It took away all the confidence in her, but the bullying only continued. At one point she even wanted to commit suicide, and hated that she was Chinese (Jiang). See more

Whitney Cropp Whitney Cropp was nominated as homecoming court, only to find that it was all a prank by the popular kids later. It was even harder and more humiliating for her when students continued picking on her in school and on Facebook. She said she's definitely not popular, but she hadn't thought others would be that mean to her. She fought back by attending prom, with hundreds supporting her at the football stadium (Daily Mail Reporter). See more

Table of Contents

ReferEnces Amanda Todd. 2012. ENSTARZ. ENSTARZ, 14 Oct. 2012. Web. 30 Dec. 2012. APSB Bullying Logo. 4 Dec. 2012. Ascension Public Schools. Ascension Parish Schools, 4 Dec. 2012. Web. 29 Dec. 2012. “Beating the Cyberbullies; Targets of Taunting Need Help Turning the Tables on Tormentors.” Gale Student Resources in Context. Gale Student Resources in Context, Sept.-Oct. 2008. Web. 1 Sept. 2012. Bullied Michigan Teen Becomes Homecoming Queen. 2012. Art Bracket. Art Bracket, 30 Sept. 2012. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. “Bullied Quotes.” BrainyQuote. BookRags Media Network, 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2012. “Bullies: Are You a Bully?” PBS Kids. CastleWorks, Inc, 2005. Web. 23 July 2012. “Bullies: How to Handle It.” PBS Kids. CastleWorks, Inc, 2005. Web. 24 July 2012. “Bullies: Innocent Bystanders.” PBS Kids. CastleWorks, Inc, 2005. Web. 23 July 2012. . “Bullying Statistics.” Bullying Stops With Me program at FJHS. Weebly, 2011. Web. 1 Sept. 2012. Bullying, Your Child and You. 2012. Kid’s Health Blog. Children’s Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota, 8 Oct. 2012. Web. 24 Nov. 2012. The Canadian Press. Amanda Todd, 15. 2012. The Province. Postmedia Network, 16 Oct. 2012. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. Casey Heynes Fights Back (Full Original Video). YouTube. YouTube, 21 Mar. 2011. Web. 12 Dec. 2012. “Charlotte Dawson: How the Cyber Trolls Beat Me.” Herald Sun. Herald Sun, 3 Sept. 2012. Web. 3 Sept. 2012. “Cyberbullying.” Gale Student Resources in Context. Gale Student Resources in Context, 2011. Web. 1 Sept. 2012. Daily Mail Reporter. “Bullied Teen Is Voted on to Homecoming Court as Cruel Prank... but Then Entire Town Comes out to Support Her.” Daily Mail. Assoc. Newspapers Ltd, 25 Sept. 2012. Web. 4 Jan. 2013. DeGeneres, Ellen, host. An Important Message from Ellen About Bullying. YouTube. YouTube, 19 Oct. 2010. Web. 21 Dec. 2012. Demi Lovato - Fox’s The X Factor Season Finale - Night 2. 20 Dec. 2012. Demi Lovato Daily Photo Gallery. N.p., 20 Dec. 2012. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. Demi Lovato 20/20 Interview. Apr. 2011. Beautelicious. N.p., Apr. 2011. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. Dombeck, Mark, Ph.D. “The Long Term Effects of Bullying.” The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, 2006. Web. 29 July 2012. “Effects of Bullying.” StopBullying.gov. U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, n.d. Web. 15 Aug. 2012. Effects of Cyber Bullying on the Life of Children. N.d. Study Abroad Tips & Tricks. Abroadstudy.net, n.d. Web. 29 Dec. 2012.

“11 Facts About Cyber Bullying.” Do Something. Do Something, 2012. Web. 28 Aug. 2012. Ellen DeGeneres CoverGirl. Jan. 2011. The Beauty Buff. Blogspot, 10 Jan. 2011. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. Ellen Tests Out Mily Cyrus’s New Haircut. 2012. Bella Sugar. Sugar, 15 Aug. 2012. Web. 30 Dec. 2012. Findlay, Stephanie. “Bullied Bus Monitor Karen Klein Receives $700,000 Cheque in Toronto.” The Star. Toronto Star, 11 Sept. 2012. Web. 4 Jan. 2013. The Fine Bros, dir. Teens React to Bullying (Amanda Todd). YouTube. YouTube, 18 Nov. 2012. Web. 8 Dec. 2012. “Forms of Bullying.” BRAVE - Bullying Resource and Values Education. The Family Resource Facilitation Project, 2012. Web. 12 July 2012. Gibson, Jim. “Cyber-bullying on the Rise.” Vancouver Sun. Postmedia Network, 2012. Web. 28 Aug. 2012. Gilkerson, Luke. “Bullying Statistics: Fast Facts About Cyberbullying.” Breaking Free Blog. Convenant Eyes, 17 Jan. 2012. Web. 28 Aug. 2012. Heynes, Casey. Interview by Sunday Night. Casey Heynes (Bully Hero) Latest Interview - Sunday Night. Sunday Night, 2011. YouTube. Web. 12 Dec. 2012. - - -. “Casey Speaks.” Interview by ACA. Bullying Victim Speaks Out - Casey Heynes - Australia. ACA, 2011. YouTube. Web. 26 Aug. 2012. Home page. It Gets Better Project - Give Hope to LGBT Youth. Savage Love, LLC, 2012. Web. 30 July 2012. Home page. StopBullying.gov. U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, n.d. Web. 30 July 2012. Increase in Bullying Affecting Youth. 16 May 2012. My High School Journalism. John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, 22 May 2012. Web. 29 Dec. 2012. Isensee, Laura, and Michael Vasquez. “Nearly One in 10 Students Missing 21 Days of School - Hundreds of Thousands of Florida Students Skip At Least 21 Days of Class, the Threshold for Chronic Absenteeism.” The (FL) Miami Herald 18 Aug. 2012: n. pag. Access World News. Web. 4 Sept. 2012. Jiang, Shan Shan. “Looking Back: Shan Shan.” Surviving Bullies Project. Willoughby & Lamont Publishing, 2012. Web. 26 Aug. 2012. Karen Klein. June 2012. Gawker. N.p., 29 June 2012. Web. 2 Jan. 2013. Karen Klein. June 2012. People. Time, 25 June 2012. Web. 30 Dec. 2012. Lovato, Demi. Interview by MTV. Born to Be Demi Lovato. MTV, 2012. YouTube. Web. 8 Dec. 2012. - - -. “Demi Lovato.” PACER Center’s Teens against Bulying. National Bullying Prevention Center, 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2012. - - -. Interview by Ellen DeGeneres. Demi Lovato Faces Her Critics. The Ellen Show, 2011. YouTube. Web. 8 Dec. 2012. - - -. “Demi Lovato 20/20 Interview.” Interview by Robin Roberts. Demi Lovato - 20/20 Interview [Extras]. ABC 20/20, 2011. YouTube. Web. 26 Aug. 2012. Marshall, Jessica. “Why Do People Bully?” Discovery News. Discovery Communications, LLC, 1 Apr. 2010. Web. 18 June 2012.

Mowry, Jonah. Jonah Mowry: ‘Whats Goin On..’. YouTube. YouTube, 10 Aug. 2011. Web. 26 Aug. 2012. “National Bullying Prevention Center.” PACER.org. PACER Center, Inc., 2012. Web. 30 July 2012. “Quotes About Bullying.” Goodreads. Goodreads, 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2012. REX. Cyber Bullying. N.d. eConscious Consulting. Word Press, 25 Jan. 2012. Web. 29 Dec. 2012. Stand Up to Bullying. 19 Sept. 2012. Healthy You. Live Well Wyobraska, 1 Nov. 2012. Web. 29 Dec. 2012. “Teens against Bullying.” PACER Center. PACER Center, Inc., 2012. Web. 30 July 2012. Todd, Amanda. My Story: Struggling, Bullying, Suicide, Self harm. YouTube. YouTube, 7 Sept. 2012. Web. 8 Dec. 2012. “United against Bullying.” The Ellen DeGeneres Show. WAD Productions, Inc., 2012. Web. 31 July 2012. Walker, Sirdeaner. “Help Stop Childhood Bullying.” Interview by Ellen DeGeneres. Help Stop Childhood Bullying. The Ellen Show, 2009. YouTube. Web. 11 Sept. 2012. “What Schools Can Do about Bullying.” Library ThinkQuest. ThinkQuest, 2008. Web. 19 July 2012. “What You Can Do.” StopBullying.gov. U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, n.d. Web. 20 July 2012. “Why Do Children and Teens Commit Online Bullying?” Child Refuge. Child Refuge, 2011. Web. 28 Aug. 2012. “Why Do Kids Bully?” Library ThinkQuest. ThinkQuest, Aug. 2007. Web. 10 July 2012. “Why Do People Bully?” Bullying Statistics. Bullying Statistics, 2009. Web. 19 June 2012. Why Do People Bully. N.d. Mom Grind. N.p., 19 Apr. 2010. Web. 29 Dec. 2012.