The Life of an Unworn Hat by

The Life of an Unworn Hat

by Bonnie Ramsburg

I was once nothing but a plain sun visor.

I wasn’t looking to become anything more than that plain sun visor. I was happy, waiting to be bought and worn when some lovely lady needed to protect her fair complexion from the sun’s rays during the summer.

But then She walked into my life. I didn’t know how She would change my life, but She bought several of my brethren and myself at the same time. She took us home and left us to languish in darkness for what seemed like an eternity.

Then there was light! I heard Her speaking about something called “Mardi Gras.” Of course I had no idea what it was all about, but it sounded like something amazing was afoot!

The next thing I know, I was placed on a table beside some odd looking items. I was handled most roughly as I was twisted and turned about and those odd items were held against me in one configuration or another. That was embarrassing enough, especially when I heard terms such as “hot glue, feathers, beads and roses.” Then the real torture began, as I soon found out what pain was. She used the most inhumane torture devices on my fabric, applying the hot glue in copious amounts and then sticking the feathers on in a premeditated fashion. The roses were and beads were added, and then She said, “I think it’s done!”

She placed me on Her head and looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself! I went from being a plain sun visor to an exciting party hat! I couldn’t wait to see what happened at this “Mardi Gras” She was still talking about!

But alas, I was never worn again after the pictures were taken. I was returned to the darkness, where I have been for four years; my brethren have shunned me, as they still remain plain sun visors. I heard Her once mention that she had plans for some friends to use my brethren and make exciting party hats out of them too. I haven’t told them this news, I don’t wish to get their hopes up and then have even more animosity aimed in my direction because it doesn’t happen in a timely fashion.

I still hold out hope that one day I will see this “Mardi Gras” party that was mentioned. Will it be fun do you think? Will I enjoy myself? Will I even want to be there? The questions keep piling up and I have no answers!

But I do know one thing for sure.

I don’t know how much longer I can remain an Unworn Hat.