TROUBLESOME TREACLE

I’ve been writing my column ever since I was a Puppy and this month I will be 9 years old ! This makes me around 56 in human years and so me and Mistress are officially a couple of ‘Ole Gals!’ As soon as Mistress hit 50 she started to receive a lot of unwanted mail in the post, emails and phone calls.

How she got on the data-base of companies she doesn’t know. Stair-lift leaflets, a call about hearing aids! (She purposely kept saying ‘Pardon?’) And the one that really annoyed her was the Care Home email! Cold calling never goes down well with Mistress and because she has a deep voice she’s been called ‘Mr.’ twice now. But now these type of companies are contacting me. Glasses for dogs and Slippers!

I’m still a Puppy at heart and Mistress says I still look like a Spring Chicken (Whaaat?-I don’t want to look like one of these feathered creatures as I may start laying eggs!) So, me and Mistress have made a pact to grow old disgracefully together and Mistress is as lively and lovely as she used to be.

Ok, there’s the odd groan when she gets up from the settee but she says this is because I have numbed her legs by sitting on her lap for too long. However, the other day she cut her fringe and I really do think she needs to go to ‘Specsavers!’ One side is much higher than the other but it looks ok if she tilts her head.

Going back to my birthday, I should say I don’t want a big fuss but I do! I’d like to have a surprise party, with a cake made of doggie chocolate and maybe Dog (and Cat) Band. ‘ Who Let The dog out’ is one of my favourites including ‘My Best Friend’ and ‘You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog’. I’ve got a few cool dance moves and I’ve been practicing in

the lounge when everyone else is in bed asleep. I have my own version of the ‘Downward Dog’ which I’ve seen Mistress do in her Yoga classes. So bring on my birthday and loads of presents (I hope). I’m off to get a drink of water as it is very hot today and wish I could take my coat off!

See you all next month