4 minute read
Hey! Here’s an Inmost Letter from Your Ambivert Buddy by Vanessa Chan
Words by Vanessa Chan / Illustration by Dana Jepsen [CW: social anxiety]
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Dear introverts and extroverts,
Greetings from an ambivert to all humans! Each of us consisting of various portions of introvert and extrovert characteristics was born to colour the black-and-white world. Different settings can trigger chemical reactions in our mind to determine our unpredictable characters. Through this letter, I hope you can understand more about our manners in different settings.
Who exactly are we? We are ambiverts with an uncontrolled energy that enables us to meet new people. But after a minute, our brain gets stuck trying to initiate an intriguing topic. Our mouth screws shut, making it diffi cult to deliver accurate thoughts. Our body freezes until the indifferent conversation ends. Our divided mind excludes us from intimate, in-depth interaction. Nevertheless, our close friends do pardon us for keeping the sentence short, like “I have a driving licence”, which should never be expanded to the length of a LinkedIn job description.
Party? We defi nitely perform the craziest dance following the beat before leading the gangs to sing Shape of You despite our rhino voice. Perhaps, our social anxiety is hidden when we endeavour to take the fi rst step to break the communication barrier. But we end up dizzy in the heated ballroom, hearing buzzing around our ears at 12am sharp: Cinderella’s time to rush for home. Burning out so quickly makes us active but isolated members in socialising, doesn’t it?
Some ambiverts like me burst out laughing at the start of the COVID-19 outbreak while many were struggling with the loss of social life. Time lapsed, ambiverts had to come out with a balance to satisfy the needs of both personalities. Sometimes, the issue was resolved peacefully. Sometimes it wasn’t. My situation was the latter: two elves representing my inner introvert and extrovert started arguing with each other in my mind. My irritated extrovert elf suddenly punched the laid-back introvert for not bothering to strive for more socialising. The introvert immediately slapped the extrovert back and responded that East, West, home’s the best. Introvert pointed out that being a group leader in front of a dark screen boosted confi dence by reading out the prepared notes, and it’s a pleasure to win all online board games against Discord friends. However, not hugging friends took out the happiness of the extrovert elf feeling lonely and frustrated. Both elves want me to prioritise their needs. In the end I just subconsciously squeezed a smile and lied that I was good when I asked. They created an unknown fear that prevented me from making eye contact with their genuine face while praying that they wouldn’t leave me. Their battle lasted till the lockdowns were eased, and they fi nally forgave each other for their irrational behaviour with a high-fi ve, like siblings.
Weekend parties have since returned to the city and we ambiverts have become the pioneers desperately wanting to take revenge on the oppression to our extrovert side. In the middle of a dim ballroom in reality, our mouth has lost the courage to utter a word. It’s challenging to understand ambiverts without being sensitive to their mood, but here are some tips when mingling with them:
• Show interest in ambivert anecdotes. Prompt our speech at the 30-second mark if needed, but don’t interrupt us. Especially in a conversation of three, as we’re good listeners eternally waiting their turn to speak.
• Stay in touch with us after parties. Include us in following activities, no matter online or offl ine.
• Give us some time to consider if we want to leave our house on a weekend or just plan to lie on the bed as our preference could change suddenly.
• Give us a hug when we smiled ten minutes ago and start standing outside of the group as we want company, but don’t know what we should do.
Lastly, shoutout to people willing to listen to ambivert contradictory life stories in return for respect for our preferred routine and trying to understand our personality.
Best,
Vanessa Chan (ambivert)
