student centered Communicating About Death to Students BY JULIE CRAIN
School administrators know that there is never a perfect way to communicate the death of a student
Initially trained in communication, I was astutely
or teacher to their community. But there are experi-
aware that all of my actions (and my teachers’
ences from which a principal can learn. Unfortunately, during the 2013–14 school year, Julie Crain
Use Care in Communication
Shawnee Mission West High School experienced the deaths of three students and one teacher while
actions) and words were influential precedents teaching students how to grieve and behave during instances of death. Use of social media is an ideal way for princi-
I was serving as principal. Using tried-and-true
pals to connect with students, inform them about
communication techniques of personal communica-
events, and gain their support. That summer I had
tion was soothing to most, but not in-the-moment
set up a Twitter account and learned the basics.
enough for others. Two unrelenting characteristics,
@PrincipalCrain was born, and I began tweeting
though, should highlight a leader’s odyssey when
pictures and information about Shawnee Mission
dealing with students, teachers, and death: compas-
West students and their activities. This became a
The state of grief is so different for each student’s developmental age.
sion and strength with
vehicle for communication during the days immedi-
purposeful leadership.
ately after the deaths. I changed the Twitter logo to
Ezkial Crapo was killed in July in a traffic accident before he set foot into
the school as a ninth grader. We adults didn’t get to
a black ribbon surrounded by gold (our school colors are black and gold). In addition, being able to access database information from home was crucial concerning timely
know him, but his peers suffered from his absence
notifications. Numerous times my lead counselor
all year. Andre Maloney, a senior, suffered a stroke
and I communicated about emergency issues
during a football game in October and died the
concerning students, and I was able to access
next day after unsuccessful surgery. Houston St.
student information from home to quickly begin
John, a junior, was killed in a car crash one month
strategizing or making contacts.
after Andre died. In addition, Tim Bishop, a 26-year
We posted notifications of the visitations and
veteran physical education teacher and coach, died
funerals on our website in a prominent place, but not
of a heart attack in February 2014.
as the focal point of the first page. We chose to be
Needless to say, it was the most challenging year of my 26-year educational career. It was my first year back at Shawnee Mission West after having
very timely in these and took them down immediately after the services. Strength emanated from those who were closest
been an associate principal in the building for eight
to the deceased. The coach, the cousin, the mother
years, then leaving to run other schools in the district
and father, the wife—those who spoke in honor
before I returned as principal. It was October, and I
of their departed loved ones exhibited so much
didn’t know many of my 1,740 students yet.
fortitude and strength. They chose their words deliberately, and they were the master communicators. They knew they were role models for young eyes cast upon them and hanging on their every word.
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d No matter how popular a student or teacher, not everyone in a large school knows everyone else; not everyone is grieving. We followed what we knew as
parents were hearing, were thinking one of them would be next in the succession of events. I talked with my media teacher—I wanted
best practices and held to the regular, daily schedule
something that could project strength and resilience
and events. Students and parents would make
on the part of the fallen students’ friends and school
individual choices about attendance and participa-
leaders. She and the kids ran with the idea, and the
tion. Of course, some classes didn’t go on as usual.
result was a touching holiday video with a message
Kids were physically there, but the instruction, the
of hope, thankfulness, and the importance of taking
reflection, and the practice was on grief. Teachers
care of each other.
consoled and cried; students reflected on the lost peer’s life and cried. Counselors reported to certain classrooms when needed. Students want to talk to their teachers during
The lead guidance counselor—both as a friend and a colleague—was instrumental in advising me during these challenges. She reminded me to contact the student body president who, depending
these times, and that’s what we allowed them to do,
on the person, can lead the students in directions
in controlled environments. The time intervals of
where the principal cannot.
bell-to-bell gave a semblance of managed grief.
While I was dealing with the student body, the head coach was dealing with his players. These
Think Through the Details
young men were a close team. Just the previous
The state of grief is different for each student’s devel-
season they were 6A state champions in football
opmental age. Administrators and teachers need to
where Andre was an instrumental player. The
be aware of these conditions to communicate differ-
coaches and trainer were suffering, too. There
ently with different age groups while at the same time dealing with their own grief. Younger students are typically awkward, even making jokes that older kids find offensive. Make sure no attendance calls go home to the
was self-doubt about whether they should have “caught” something. As a school leader, it’s your job to listen to everyone—your staff, students, parents, and the community. When dealing with death, your compas-
family of the deceased student. I know this might
sion must be genuine. The strength you show
sound bizarre, but human error happens because
(whether real or not) potentially impacts thousands
systems are so automated now with student atten-
in your school community. Use honest, straightfor-
dance. Make sure the locker neighbor is counseled,
ward communication as you move forward with the
and remove the deceased student’s books from the
healing process.
locker, with no students around, as soon as possible. About two weeks after Houston’s death, parents
Julie Crain, PhD, is the principal of the High School
told me that the tenth graders were on pins and
Academy at the American Community Schools in Athens,
needles. The school had lost one student from
Greece, and former principal of Shawnee Mission West
each class—a ninth grader, a twelfth grader, and an
High School in Overland Park, KS.
eleventh grader. The sophomores, according to what Principal Leadership November 2015 11
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