I WAS FLYING HIGH... BUT THEN I CRASHED

I lived life in the fast lane, a workaholic trying to fulfil my ambitions and my dad’s expectations. Then, one day, I crashed.

My wife and family saw it coming, but I wouldn’t listen. I wanted to be that perfect person, always delivering the goods. I refused to accept my limitations.

Depression was followed by psychosis. My thoughts were dark, my actions were totally out of character. I know now it wasn’t me, it was my illness. I got help from Mersey Care.

Recovery takes time and I wasn’t the most patient of people, but I eventually came out of hospital with new priorities. I re-proposed to my partner 20 years after I’d first proposed – she’s the love of my life and we’ve since remarried. However it wasn’t long before work tapped into my ambitious streak

once more. I was promoted, and within a year I’d crashed again.

I REFLECT A LOT MORE…

When I got a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder everything began to make sense. I’d had a good childhood but my mum had bipolar disorder and I watched her break down. I thought it was my job to keep her safe – she wouldn’t admit she was ill but I knew all the signs. Looking back, I bottled it up and hid it through work.

Through medication, therapies, mindfulness and the support of my family I’m able to reflect. I’m trying my hardest and I’m self aware. I thought I was a machine, but now I recognise I can only do so much.

I bottled it up and hid it through work.

I’m bringing my experiences as a service user, a mental health ambassador, and my life experiences to my governor role. I still can’t control my energy – but now I’m channelling it into something that can influence change.

Matt and his wife Jacqui