Hook-up from hell Hook-up from hell Hook-up from hell

A few years ago, back in single days, I was at the bar on a Friday night by myself in search of something, or someone, to do. I ended up meeting another single guy. He was gorgeous; dark hair, olive skin, chocolate eyes, tall, and very fit. The only down side was that he didn’t speak much English. I used my high school level Spanish to communicate with him, and we hit it off. We ended up going back to my place for a night of passion and lust.

A couple of days later I get a call from him. Again, my Spanish isn’t great, but it sounded like he was telling me he might have an STD! Even better, I found out he was visiting from out of town and had no one to take him to a doctor and asked if I could drive him to a clinic. Of course, it was late at night, so most of the clinics were closed, but I managed to find us one. The only problem was that no one in the office spoke Spanish either.

My new friend asked if I could come into the exam room with him to help translate.

The doctor came in and asked some questions. How many sexual partners? When was the last sexual encounter? The doctor, oblivious to our sexual orientation, kept referring to my friend’s partners as “she.” Naturally, I translated in the feminine form and my new friend just kept laughing. The doctor wasn’t sure what was so funny; most people don’t laugh when they piss in pain. After a few minutes of letting it go on, I finally told the doctor that my friend has sex with men and that he was laughing at my translation of the conversation.

Ultimately, my friend got a nice big shot of penicillin in the ass and had some tests run. The result: a urinary tract infection.

The moral of the story: learning another language can open the doors to many new opportunities, and it can open your bed to a new adventure!