Breaking the Curse - Marquita Antoineá

I , like many others in my generation, come from a long line of young and/or single (unwed) mothers. My maternal grandmother had my mom unmarried at 20 years old. My mother had my older sister unmarried at 16. Then, as if I hadn’t heard and seen the struggles brought on by the decision to become a mother, I had my first child unmarried at 19. I heard about struggles related to trying to develop a career along with all the responsibilities that come with raising children alone. Mostly, I heard of the struggles surrounding being a baby having a baby. Yet and still, I made a choice to bring a life into this world. All the struggles I had heard about quickly became my reality. Really quickly. But there is one main reason why I feel like this generational curse still stands. The struggle in the stories did not match the triumph that I saw daily. I saw hard work and endless amounts of love. So, why would I believe the struggle that I had only heard about instead of the mastery, the ease that I saw in real life? I’m glad you asked.

Unfortunately, the strength and independence of women today (more specifically, single moms) has created a false perception of ease of parenthood. The will, the determination, and the drive to get shit done (by any means necessary) somehow masks the

difficulty of parenting. As a result of this misconception, single motherhood is being glorified. Well, this is not the way it was intended. From the beginning, it was meant for children to come into this world with two PRESENT and ACTIVE parents who loved them equally and dedicated equal time and energy to that child.

I would bet my last dollar that if more women would show their children their weaknesses and shortcomings, young ladies would think twice about bringing children into this world without first building a solid foundation. I often hear women say that they don't let their children see them cry because it's a sign of

weakness. Well, I beg to differ. My children see me cry often. It is sure as hell not to show them my weakness. Rather, it is to show that I am human and that I don't have it all figured out. So when something unfavorable happens, they won't be so shocked.

Superwomen do exist but in my experience the real superwomen are old. LOL. The real superwomen are experienced. The real superwomen have had time to get their shit together. Don't get me wrong. I'm on my way to being super. But I'm woman enough to admit that I'm not there yet.

To all teens/young adults out there, stop rushing to become mothers. Stop

" Instead, take time to plant a seed in fertilized soil. Then build a solid foundation around the seed. Then join forces with the man that was intended for you. Then and only then should you decide to bring a child into this world. We have to break the generational curse and bring greatness back. Babies raising babies alone sure as hell ain't the way to get there. Don't know who this was for but it was on my heart so I thought I would share. Feel free to pass along and excuse the language. It's just the passion in me.