Ukeireru: The Art of Acceptance

Ukeireru:

The Art of Acceptance

It is all too easy to simply react. How many of us raise our voice when someone does something that displeases us, if only in passing? Who among us lets their thoughts whirl to the worst conclusion before an event has even fully unfolded? Instead, by practicing the art of ukeireru (a Japanese term for “acceptance”, i.e. of people and the things around us), we remain more balanced in our emotions, more rooted to the multisided reality of each situation. Certainly, it is a calmer, more peaceful way of being – something many if not all of us could use more of.

Who we are and our very “place” in the world is an interdependent matter: we might each of us be unique, but we are not unique in our uniqueness; nor are we alone. There is no true aloneness in the Earth’s ecosystem, from microbe to humans and beyond. Life is, rather, about relationships: with our family, with our friends, with strangers, with communities local and global both, and with the natural world. The “happiness” of one is dependent – fundamentally, however much seemingly distant from our own – on the happiness of all.

Identifying how this can be not just achieved but made to flourish requires awareness. Attentively listening to and regarding others, going about our lives empathetically open to the needs and feelings of others is a crucial first step. And sometimes it requires great personal change to come to naturally behave in such a manner where we accept other people and situations as they are – and don’t try to change them. Or at least not all at once. As ahimsa (non-violence) applies to oneself in Yogic philosophy, so gently nurturing change is an incremental, soft step but soft sure step endeavour. Essentially, ukeireru proposes three questions that should ever be held in mind for a less stressful existence that lives in the present at the same time as considering the fallout in subsequent moments and further into the future:

1. What impact would making a decision to act in such a way have on others?

2. Is the best decision at this time not to make a decision?

3. What has really prompted how you are thinking and feeling right now?