Three pennies

a paper copy you’ve asked them to keep in their safe or perhaps your information is recorded on a USB stick.

Maybe having either paper or digital records stored in a safety deposit box could be another option. Keeping in mind, someone is either going to have access to a key or passwords to get this information.

Passwords, points of contact (bank, insurance, house), copies of important paperwork, instructions for the garage door opener, where the second set of car keys are…all of this information can be securely recorded and stored in multiple places.

Trust is a strong part of the process in deciding who, where and how to store your personal information as well as doing a little forward thinking-reminding yourself why you are doing this: to create ease, gifting your future self as well as those you care about - creating a little comfort in what can already be a difficult and/or challenging time for those left behind after your death.

End of Life Doula

Ialready had my flight to Illinois booked when the news of my father’s broken hip reached me. I had planned to be home for my parents’ birthdays, both in the first week of March. With the amazing customer service offered by Alaska Airlines I was able to move my flight up by ten days. My red eye flight allowed me to be at the hospital when my Dad woke up on Friday morning. He woke and slept through the morning, and every time he woke, we talked a bit.

The rest of my family arrived later that morning – and that afternoon we made the decision to move Dad to hospice care. Dad’s Parkinson’s disease had been slowly stealing the smart, funny and gentle man we knew as husband and father. Dad had expressed his own peace about dying and his wish to be freed from Parkinson’s so we knew our decision was in line with his own desires. My Dad would die before the next Friday morning arrived.

On March 6th, the day before my return, my Mom and I went for lunch to celebrate a belated birthday for her –and to honour my Dad’s birthday and celebrate him. We lifted our glasses to Dad, wished him a happy birthday, and imagined the party on the other side of this life.

My father loved to walk – and in retirement he headed out every morning to pick up a cup of coffee and walk a loop around the community. It was not unusual for Dad to come home with extra money in his pockets. He found money everywhere – dollar bills, a handful of pennies, a quarter. He would often joke about taking us out for ice cream on the money he “earned” from walking.

As Mom and I prepared to leave the restaurant I slipped into the bathroom. There on the floor were three pennies. I showed them to Mom, telling her, “Apparently Dad appreciates that we celebrated his birthday today. He sent us a gift!”

This month marks Easter in the Christian calendar. The date for Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox (March 21st), a reminder for those of us in the northern hemisphere that the equinox ushers in spring, the season of new life, when the natural world is resurrecting all around us. Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus. I believe in an afterlife. I believe in a realm beyond this one where we experience The Big Love in some way. What that looks like remains a mystery. Those three pennies I found now sit on the windowsill above my desk. When I look at them I am reminded that my Dad found a way to be with us on his birthday – and I live into the hope of resurrection. April is a month when many faiths celebrate: Muslims are in the midst of Ramadan, which will end with Eid alFitr on April 21st. Jews will celebrate the Passover April 4-12th. Hanuman Jayanti will be celebrated in India and Nepal on April 6th. Sikhism celebrates the new year on April 14th. Hindus and Jains will mark Akshaya Tritiya on April 22nd.

Whatever your faith, may you experience the joy of new life – of earth’s resurrection – this month.

Rev LeAnn Blackert works with Michele Walker, Lesly Comrie and Linda Clark in ministry with Wild Church in Kamloops, Sorrento and the Okanagan. She considers herself a seeker in her faith journey and wanders the wild world looking for the Great Mystery and the “wild Christ.” To find out more, visit wildchurchbc.com and be in touch!

The Cremation Authorization form is a very important document, even though Alice didn’t read it before signing (despite my encouragement). As promised last month, let’s carry on dissecting this form where we left off in our last column. (By the way, we’re putting this series onto our website, so if you missed a segment you can find it there (DrakeCremation.com).

The next part of the Cremation Authorization form states that Alice can be charged $50 per month if she doesn’t claim Murray’s ashes. We are required by law to hold on to them at no charge for 60 days following his cremation. (Note: we haven’t strictly enforced this storage charge policy over the years; it doesn’t seem quite right to do so).

The form also states that after one year, Murray’s unclaimed ashes can be scattered by the funeral home.

Next, it’s on to more ‘tick’ boxes. During the arrangement process earlier we asked Alice if she wanted us to take Murray’s finger prints. A box on the cremation authorization form says ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’

There’s also a box asking if Murray has a pacemaker or ‘other implanted mechanical or radioactive device.’ A pacemaker needs removing and radioactive seeds for prostate cancer treatment can potentially pose a serious safety threat for the cremationist.

This concern about radioactive exposure is one oft cited in funeral director/cremationist circles. According to ‘radiation protection specialist’ Eric Abelquist, CHP, PhD, the half-life of the (seeds) is 60 days, so after 10 months the seeds will have lost more than 95 percent of their radioactivity (https://hps. org/publicinformation/ate/ q10119.html). In any event, according to Abelquist, if the seeds rupture during cremation, and if there is any radioactivity left in them, most of the radioactivity is “released through the stack, only a small fraction…will be left in the cremated remains.” I’m not sure how comforting that is, but there you go. That’s why they should be removed. We don’t ask about or remove ‘mechanical devices’ (e.g. knees) until after cremation. The rest of the form is quite predictable and simple. It asks for a description of the cremation container/ casket that is to be used for the cremation and the urn or container to be used for Murray’s ashes. Almost everyone is cremated in a simple ‘cremation container.’ We don’t tend to use the term ‘casket’ because – for many people – it conjures up an image of expensive oak or mahogany lined with fine silk. The ‘casket’ of choice for most people is the least expensive one we supply: a plywood base or tray and a cardboard top. Most people, including Alice, choose the lowest cost cremation container or casket because, as Alice put it, “No one’s going to see it, it’s going to be burned anyway, and Murray wouldn’t want us to spend a lot of money on that.” That makes perfect sense to me too, Alice. Rather than spend two, three, four or more thousand dollars on a casket, Alice will pay just over $200 for Murray’s cremation ‘casket.’ Finally, Alice indicates to whom she wants Murray’s ashes delivered (usually to the funeral home) and signs the form. We date it and witness it, and that’s it. Except for one thing: by signing the form Alice indicates that she has read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions on the back of the form. The Cremation Authorization form has thirteen terms and conditions on the back. There’s a reason for them and they are important, mostly for legal purposes. Next month, in our last instalment in this series, we’ll look at these terms and conditions.