LIVING UP TO PARENTS’ EXPECTATIONS

BY JACKSON KOTTMEYER Editor

We all have dreams and aspirations, but sometimes those dreams can be clouded by the pressure and expectations of our parents. It’s natural that parents want to see their children succeed, but parents who over-involve themselves in their children’s dreams often do not realize how damaging this can be.

In high school, these pressures and expectations often come in the form of athletics or academics. Sometimes parents expect straight A’s, an All-State athlete or even both. For many students and athletes, these may be unobtainable goals.

Children may also face pressure from their parents in terms of their future. One of the biggest mistakes that young adults can make is to sacrifice their own passions and interests for a career or further education that their parents have chosen for them. This can lead to depression, dissatisfaction and a lack of success later in life.

Parents often envision their child having a career in medicine, engineering or other fields associated with financial stability or even wealth. According to Anusha Bhowmik, a graduate of the University of Calcutta with a bachelor’s degree in people management, this pressure can prevent a child from reaching their full potential.

“If the child’s choice or oth er paths to success are ignored, then the constant pressure to live up to the parents’ expectations takes a toll on the child’s mental health,” Bhowmik said. “[Being] burdened with the pressure to excel in a field in which one may have no interest can hamper the true potential of the child.”

However, many believe that parental influence in a child’s future can help them narrow down a logical career path that fits them. With age comes experi ence, so taking into account some parental opinions can be helpful as long as they are not overbearing with their ideas.

Parents can also put pressure on their children by, for example, attempting to live vicariously through the experiences of their kids. These parents, while often well-intentioned, tend to overwhelm their children with high expectations when it comes to sports. Success is typically seen as the norm, and failure often results in disappointment and frustration.

When parents put expectations like this on their children, they can start to develop a fear of failure that might make academics or athletics miserable experiences. Instead of pressuring them to do something beyond their abilities, parents can support and encourage their children in realistic ways.

Support can come in many different forms. To junior Zachary Konrad, support from his parents looks very different from pressure.

“To me, support is encouragement after a bad game, buying my equipment or even going to all my games,” Konrad said. “My parents have found a great balance between supporting me to do my best, while also not being too pressuring. If they acted like some other parents who scream at [their kids] after a bad game, I don’t think I would still be playing baseball.”

While many parents live through their children’s athletic activities, it is also common to see parents doing so through academics, whether this is by hiring expensive tutors for their children or requiring perfect grades throughout school.

Children who are pushed too hard academically may become overwhelmed by the pressure to perform and might not be able to complete their work to the best of their ability. Additionally, they may develop a negative attitude toward learning and may not be as motivated to succeed in school. This can have long-term effects on their ability to succeed in college and in their future careers.

Like athletics, it is important for parents to support and assist their children academically while not putting too much pressure on them. One of the best ways for parents to support their child in academics is pushing them to do the best that they can. Parents should focus their attention towards the effort that a child puts into their work instead of the final grade.

Supportive parents can often play a big role in a successful student. Junior Kaitlin Liu, one of the top students in the class of 2024, has supportive parents who have played a part in her success at Kaneland High School.

“Academics are definitely very important to me, but my parents especially value A’s on my grades,” Liu said. “While they do not punish me for getting bad grades, they do expect me to do my best in school. The only way they pressure me is by sometimes prioritizing my work over doing something like going out to eat or checking my grades constantly.”

Parents who live through their children often put too much pressure on them to perform, which can lead to many side effects like mental health issues, fear of failure and a sense of dissatisfaction. Knowing the difference between unrealistic expectations and appropriate support is important for parents to understand.