jamais vu

empty; a never-ending pitch black— only a small, flickering glow bounded at a single spot. no walls nor windows; no other being than myself. uncanny, I began treading along the abyss luring me in, luminance gradually dissipates. in sightless eyes, unintelligible whispers and sibilant stares pierces within my head. wandering off further from the light, knees quivering from submerging, thick, hazy mist began to infiltrate my lungs; chills running down my spine— intertwined fingers, the kiss of sun rays and citrus— a warmth I’ve long sought for, turned. a subtle gush of arctic, latching onto my skin. I felt my limbs, one by one bleeding out of strength, appalled. soft hymns and jars of laughter infiltrated my ears—nostalgia —both familiar and foreign. I awaken, heavy breath blowing— warming up my seemingly pale face; my stomach began to churn. instinctively, my legs fled, adrenaline coursing through despite being aghast. as if my feet knew the terrain, my soles remembering each step— it wasn’t long until I found the same, flickering glow weary. the creature kept up, only being a few breaths away,

jamais

I caught a glimpse of it. weighing me down, guilt, from a place long gone, had begun to sink me in. jamais vu— I knew what it was, but at the same time didn’t. I can’t remember. my head began to throb: a memory floods my mind, tugging at my heartstrings; a tormenting pain in my head, distorted voices likened to mine and another’s— a haste flash of falling. but I continued to flee, my legs gravitating toward the scent of ripe citrus and rust. my ears grew familiar with the sound of thuds from the fall, the horrid dripping of guilt down my cheeks. the agonizing sting of my heels, each time I took a step forward. macabre, is my tireless yearning. even so, my eyes set upon something completely foreign; a possible escape. an oaken door dimmed, gently closing the distance to open it—