Spotting the Signs of Stress

How to Recognise When Things Aren’t Going Well

LAUREN PARSONS

As an educator, you not only play a key role in looking after your students’ well being, but also the well being of your colleagues. With stress and anxiety on the rise, it’s vital to know the full range of signs to look for that could indicate mental distress among your teammates, and to know how to respond when you see those signs.

A US study showed that 80% of workers feel stressed at work, 40% feeling very or extremely stressed and 25% viewed their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives.

In 2017, the World Health Organisation said that depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide. A New Zealand study showed that the risk of burnout tripled over an 18-month period up to November 2021, increasing from 1 in 9 people to now just 1 in 3.

A major British study also revealed that 48% of workers have experienced a mental health problem in their current job, but only half of those who had experienced poor mental health at work had spoken to their employer about it. This suggests that 25% of your team may be struggling in silence.

It’s clear you’re highly likely to have staff within your team suffering with mental distress. Putting your head in the sand and ignoring this only exacerbates the challenge. Withdrawal, sadness and angry outbursts are commonly known signs to watch for. Here are some of the other signs that may not always immediately come to mind.

9 Signs to Look For

1 - Memory

Becoming forgetful and missing small day-to-day things can be a sign of mental distress. Ongoing stress interferes with the brain’s ability to think clearly. It impacts on normal decision making, reasoning and memory. Watch for confusion and regularly forgetting things.

2 - Temperament

Get to know your colleagues well so you can notice any change in mood or behaviour. If someone is naturally quiet or reserved, that’s not necessarily a warning sign. It’s more if you notice a change such as those who are normally outgoing becoming withdrawn, or vice versa.

3 - Appearance

A lack of grooming, or no longer taking care about how they appear can be a sign as well. I can recall this personally, many years ago when I was in a workaholic phase and not in a good head space. I would dress all in black, tie my hair in the same bun every day so I didn’t have to style it and I never wore makeup. It was really a symptom of feeling overwhelmed and lacking time or effort to even do the basics. Wearing black isn’t a sign in itself, of course, but seeing changes in people’s standards of personal grooming can be.

LAUREN PARSONS

4 - Lack of Interests

Take note if your teammates are no longer taking part in or being interested in hobbies that you know they normally are. If you ask how their painting is going, what’s growing in the garden or where they’re been mountain-biking lately and they respond in a flat, uninterested way or say that they’ve stopped or haven’t made time for it lately it, that’s a sign something is bothering them. It’s important people have pursuits in life that bring them joy.

5 - Change in Decision Making Ability

There are two ends of a spectrum with this one. Watch for people being overly rash and making lots of hasty decisions. Also, watch for people being excessively indecisive and procrastinating or having an inability to make a decision at all.

6 - Pace

Sometimes people will speed up their pace, trying to fit everything in at super speed, and block out time for too much thought or reflection. They can appear hyper in their actions and their speech.

7 - Control

Again, this can be different ends of a spectrum. People lacking the ability to control their emotions, for example, becoming easily upset at a time and place when it’s difficult to understand the reason. At the other end, people may seem overly controlled, being stoic and not displaying any emotion as they’re trying to hold everything in.

The first step is noticing how someone is doing and choosing to be courageous and ask.

8 - More Frequently Unwell

Ongoing mental distress can suppress the body’s immune system function. Take note if you hear staff complaining of ongoing minor illnesses or increasing sick leave.

9 - Personality

Take note if normally sociable people withdraw and avoid their workmates. Sometimes people can become more easily irritable, angry or cynical. Listen for the language that’s used.

Taking Action

It’s so important for you and your leaders to have the skills to spot these signs and open up conversations with your fellow teachers. You might start with an, “I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself lately and I’m concerned about you,” statement. Then ask how they’re doing. Be sure to do this in an appropriate time and place and show genuine empathy.

Remember, you don’t need to solve their problems. Listening non-judgmentally is powerful in itself, as it helps people gain clarity and helps them feel valued and heard. You may want to put them in touch with a counsellor through your EAP provider so they get the support they need.

There is a lot more to this process than what can be covered in one short article, but the first step is noticing and choosing to respond.

It’s worth investing in professional development around spotting the signs and knowing how to respond. I’ve helped many organisations introduce a team of what I call Well Being Champions, who are equipped with this special skill set. It has helped them not just boost their own health and happiness, but also to create a well being-focused workplace culture, increasing team connection and psychological safety

LAUREN PARSONS

- which is the number one key to a high-performing team.

Some of the dos and don’ts we cover include:

Do

• Choose a good time and place to connect. (If you get this wrong, people will feel you’re insincere or inconsiderate, and be less likely to open up then or later on.) • Have conversations in an appropriate, private setting where they can feel most comfortable. • If you don’t have an appropriate space on-site, head outdoors for a walk or arrange to meet off-site – for example at a café. • Let people know your conversation will remain confidential. • If you feel it’s worth alerting their manager to something that is raised, discuss this with the individual first and help them with this process. • Show that you have an open mind by avoiding judgment statements. • Listen actively without mentally rehearsing what you want to say next and jumping in. (Try it – this is tough!) • Slow down and take your time. Allow pauses. • Talk about mental health and mental fitness in a positive way. • Follow through if you promise to do something, such as checking in again later on. don’t need to solve someone’s problems for them. All you need to do is listen non-judgmentally, provide reassurance and refer them on to the appropriate support – whether that’s professional or family/work-based supports. Being listened to has huge power to allow people to get clarity, to start think through solutions and to feel valued and supported, so it is highly beneficial in and of itself.

When you and your leaders tune into your colleagues and make it the norm in 1-on-1s and staff meetings to check in on how everyone is doing, rather than only what people are doing, you’ll have a thriving team culture where everyone can perform at their best and go the distance.

Don’t

• Bring up private or sensitive conversations in a public space. • Try to jump straight in to solve problems. Listen first and ask open questions. • Tell them they should ‘just relax’ or ‘toughen up.’ • Tell people what they have to do. • Tell people what you would do if you were them.

Everyone is unique in how they will best respond. • Involve other people without discussing it with the individual first, unless you are concerned that they or someone else may be at risk of harm. The first step is noticing how someone is doing and choosing to be courageous and ask. Remember that you

If you or someone you know needs further help, reach out. Don’t try to solve everything on your own. Get help early on before things snowball. You can phone (or text) 1737 anytime day or night to speak to (or message with) a trained counsellor.

Lauren Parsons

Lauren is an award-winning Wellbeing Specialist who believes that everyone deserves to thrive. With over 20 years’ experience in the health and wellbeing profession, she is a sought after speaker, coach and consultant. TEDx speaker, author, founder of the Snack on Exercise movement and host of the Thrive TV Show, Lauren is based in Manawatu, New Zealand. She specialises in helping schools and organisations create a high-energy, peak- performance team culture, which enables people to thrive.