The Diary of a Local Mum

Tots to Teens: Tears, Tantrums and Tidying

Despite the 10 – 15 years of difference in age between these two phases, there are a lot of similarities between toddlers and teenagers: they’re constantly hungry yet fussy about food, they need their sleep but never seem to want to go to bed, they’re fiercely independent yet still need parental support, they can be emotionally volatile, irritable, untidy and uncooperative… the list goes on!

One thing’s for certain though, kids are growing and developing at a rate of knots during these years due to a huge spurt in cognitive, physical and emotional development but, although parents may feel pushed away and tested to the limit at times, something they do unequivocally need is your unconditional love and support.

Whether your child is currently in the toddler or teenage phase (or you have one in each!), you may notice they are:

Emotional

Significant neurological development during these stages (and hormonal changes in teens) can affect the way tots and teens see and react to things around them, causing outbursts of temper, mood swings and over-sensitised emotions. They can go from hysterical laughter to tears and back again in a matter of minutes, often triggered by the smallest of things. From your toddler’s favourite orange spoon in the dishwasher to your teen’s favourite black top in the washing machine, minor inconveniences can appear catastrophic. As difficult as dealing with these outbursts can be, reassure yourself that it is a phase, so it will pass (although, if you’re currently in the toddler phase you will have to go through it again in the teenage years, sorry!). As they say, ‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain’ (although don’t actually dance, because that’s just, like, sooo embarrassing!)

Untidy

From leaving Lego booby-traps to having a million cups and plates strewn across in their bedroom amongst piles of dirty washing, neither three-year-olds nor thirteen-year-olds seem to have any concept of tidying up after themselves. They leave a trail of destruction throughout the house but asking them to help clear up this devastation is, apparently, totally unreasonable.

Egocentric

Due to their neurological development, both tots and teens can have a tendency to think the world revolves around them. Tots want your undivided attention on demand, whereas teens generally want your time, money, taxi services and cooking skills as and when it suits!

Fiercely Independent

From getting themselves dressed and feeding themselves (tots) to schoolwork, social lives or dealing with problems (teens) both want to try/feel the need to prove they can do things without assistance. It’s great to encourage their independence while they develop into their own person, but it’s also important that they know you’re unequivocally there to help should it all get too much.

Adventurous

Turn your back on a tot for a millisecond and they’ll probably be halfway up a tree or trying to run their own bath… Likewise, with teens, there can be a tendency to push at boundaries and try new (often ill-advised) things. Neither are particularly responsive to parents’ cautions or safety advice as they try to explore the world on their own terms (but that won’t stop us from trying to offer those words of warning!).

Tired, but not tired

Both toddlers and teenagers get really grumpy if sleep deprived – that’s because they need a great deal of sleep for their physical and neurological development. However, they don’t always recognise this themselves and will often fight against sleep, avoiding bedtime at all costs. When they do sleep though, they can slip into a long, deep fairy-tale worthy slumber!

Challenging

Both phases can be equally challenging for parents and you’re often left feeling bewildered and reaching for that non-existent manual that should come with each individual child. These stages of childhood development can be, in equal measures, exciting, fun, weird, dramatic, frustrating and difficult to navigate but patience, understanding, acceptance and a good sense of humour will get you through*.

*Wine is optional, too!

By Helen Young

What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill? A lambslide.

Crossword EGG

LAMB BIBLE

CHICK

TULIP BASKET BONNET

EASTER RABBIT

SPRING

DAFFODIL

CHOCOLATE

HOT CROSS

BUN

Cadbury’s make 500 million Creme Eggs every year. If you piled them on top of each other, it would be 10 x higher than Mount Everest.

What proof is there that eating carrots is good for your eyesight? You don’t see rabbits wearing glasses do you?