theFRONT internet is COVER
MADE OF CATS Cover Type: Hardcover, Imagewrap Book Size: Small Square 7x7 Page Count: 72 Paper Type: Premium Lustre (100# Text)
• A GUIDEBOOK FOR THE WEB-SAVVY CAT LOVER •
by Kate Prescesky
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the internet is
MADE OF CATS • A GUIDEBOOK FOR THE WEB-SAVVY CAT LOVER •
by Kate Prescesky
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Š2013-2014 Kate Prescesky All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Designed by Kate Prescesky Produced at the Alberta College of Art + Design Art Directed by Rik Zak and Xerxes Irani Typeset in Officina Sans ITC Book. Printed in Canada Fair Use Notice: The material presented in this book is provided for educational and informational purposes. It may contain copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. The material in this book is distributed without profit to those who have an interest in using the included information for research and educational purposes.
In loving memory of Tango, who inspired a lifetime of love for all things feline.
Stop Right
MEOW! And check out our app!
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Using the Made of Cats App We understand that flipping pages of a book may seem archaic and physically demanding. Fear not, Tech-Savvy Friend: by purchasing this book you have also purchased everything you need to use our Made Of Cats augmented reality app. All you need to do is visit the App Store on the device of your choice and obtain the FREE “Made of Cats” app. We know you already know how to download an app. If you don’t, that’s weird. Google it. Did you do it yet? Good job! You’re living in the future. Here’s how to take full advantage: As you read this book, you will come across two types of icons that can be scanned by the Made of Cats app. PINK ICONS will transport you to our archive of meme content where you can view a piece of media in its natural environment, or explore it further. TEAL ICONS indicate that there is an augmented reality feature available for your enjoyment. Alternatively, you can browse the app’s contents at your leisure and throw this book away. But we recommend you don’t do that, because we put a lot of work into it.
Table of Contents
08 12 24 38
INTRODUCTION Why cats of all creatures? We offer up a couple of theories.
FAMOUS PURR-SONAS Snoopybabe, Grumpy Cat, Maru, Lil Bub, and Henri Le Chat Noir.
NOTABLE PICS AND VIDS Learn about some of the key pieces of cat media that define the genre.
FELINE FRIENDS & PHOTO FADS Learn how you and your cat can get in on the fun.
“We have created weapons of mass cuteness. We’ve been doing it for 10,000 years ... We biologically engineer them to be the object of our affections.” - BEN HUH
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MEMES & IMAGE MACROS I can has meme explanation? Yes. Yes you can has.
CONCLUSION Haven’t had enough yet? We’ll show you some ways you can continue the feline fun.
Hello, Human. Prepare to embark on a magical journey filled with enlightenment, wonder, LOLs, and neverending cuteness.
INTRODUCTION: A World Wide Web of Cats
THE INTERNET IS MADE OF CATS Let’s be honest. If you’re reading this book, you’ve probably realized that cats are kind of a big deal on the internet. One of the biggest deals on the internet, in fact. It’s hard to log on to YouTube ...or Tumblr, or Reddit, or Facebook (or probably Google +,though the world may never know), without seeing a cute or clownish cat video making rounds in its viral stages. For the most part we don’t question the phenomenon. We just accept the fact that the internet is, in fact, made of cats. But why cats though? What social and biological factors are at play here that have rocketed felines to the pinnacle of internet stardom?
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What is a Cat? Perhaps before we explore the question of “Why cats?”, it’s important to first address “What is a cat?”. Here is a refresher, in case your internet’s been down for a while.
Butt goes up and down when petted, in a phenomenon known to cat fanciers as “elevator butt”.
Fur that comes in a rainbow of colors, textures, and lengths. Like human hair, but cuter.
Tail is an essential means of selfexpression. Cat body language is not to be mistaken for dog body language; a wagging tail means GTFO. Expressive face consisting mainly of eyes, which are usually watching you. (And judging you).
Cat paws are adorable but also house tiny concealed weapons in the form of retractable claws.
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But Why Cats? SOME SPECULATION
A group of cats is referred to as a “Clowder”. That’s what they say anyway. We usually just call it a bunch o’ cats.
It is clear that there are factors at play here beyond just the fact that cats are undeniably cute. While there isn’t really a single definitive answer, let’s take a look at some of the theories. We look at cats and see ourselves. Cats are the perfect canvas for human projection: extremely expressive and prone to ridiculous situations, it’s fun for us to look at them as little furry human beings.
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We love their unshakable sense of self identity. Jack Shepherd of BuzzFeed says: “When a dog gets in a box, it’s because he desperately wants you to think he’s cool. When a cat does it, it’s because it suddenly felt like the right thing to do at the time. More often than not, it totally was.”
“Cats have a combination of incredible dignity, but also comedy about them. Cats can be so ridiculously pleased with themselves ... Because they are so proud and so aware of that dignity, when it is punctured it’s the funniest thing in the world.”
They are the perfect embodiment of both dignity and comedy. We think that author and cat owner Tom Cox puts it best when he says:
We wish we were more like them. There are few creatures in this world who seem more comfortable with who and what they are than cats. As humans, we may have lost sight of that sense of enlightenment. But with a daily dose of cat, administered via the web, perhaps we can be reminded.
Cats tend to gravitate towards laptops and other electronic devices, possibly confirming the idea that cats and technology are a natural pairing.
THE DIGITAL AGE OF FELINES Human beings have always been fascinated with cats. They were worshipped as gods by the ancient Egyptians. We’ve written poems about them, songs about them, and comics about them. They’ve starred in cartoons and movies. But undeniably, the rise in the social popularity of cats is a direct response to the existence of the internet. While dog people have always had dog parks, cat owners haven’t always had the same opportunity to be social with their furry friends. “Cats are the perfect storm for popularity on the web. There are tens of millions of cats in the US, making it the most popular domestic animal.” - Ben Huh, owner of the Cheezburger network. And while dogs are actually more popular on the internet based on searches alone, cats are far, far more likely to go viral. On YouTube, any given video of a cat is likely to have more than four times the views of a dog video. Maybe, ultimately, cats just have that certain je ne sais quoi.
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FAMOUS
PURR-SONAS: The Web’s Most Famous Cats Grumpy Cat Plush Toy, available at entertainmentearth.com
CELEBRITY CATS? Amongst the millions and millions of cats on the web, a handful have managed to become household names. The cats listed in this chapter are some of the most well-known (and probably well-loved) cats on the internet - if their enormous social media followings and huge empires of merchandise are any indication. Chances are you’re probably familiar with some (if not all) of them, so read on to learn more about them, and how you can incorporate their wisdom and character into your daily life.
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From Left: Snoopybabe, Maru, Lil Bub, Tardar Sauce, Henri Le Chat Noir
A LITTLE HELP FROM THEIR FRIENDS It takes a special mix of personality, hilarity, and luck for a cat to stand out amongst the millions of felines on the internet, but having an excellent agent can’t hurt either. Sometimes that simply means an instagram-savvy owner, as the case of Snoopybabe. Or perhaps an owner with a bit of a knack for camera work like William Braden: “Thieving Filmmaker” and owner of Henri Le Chat Noir. Sometimes, though, it means an actual, bona-fide professional agent like Ben Lashes, Talent Manager and representative of Grumpy Cat, Keyboard Cat, Nyan Cat, to name a few.
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e b a b y Sno op
THE IRRESISTABLY ADORABLE SNOOPYBABE (“SNOOPY”) Hailing from Chengdu, Sichuan Province, China, this undeniably fabulous feline has blown up on Instagram, winning hearts and followers all over the world with his giant golden eyes, elegant ringed tail, and somewhat silly expression. His owner, who goes by Miss Ning, suggests that this too-cute-to-betrue kitty’s best features are his innocent eyes and his “pie-face”, and that he inherits his good looks from his parents: a Persian and an American Shorthair. Snoopy is best known simply for being, well, adorable, but also for being highly fashionable. Frequently seen sporting some kind of cat-sized accessory, you’d be hard pressed to find a most stylish moggie than our beloved Snoopy.
INSTA-FABULOUS As of November 2013, @snoopybabe has over 220,000 followers on Instagram. And is it any wonder? Check out a few of Snoopy’s best shots.
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Snoopy’s Accessory Guide While there are an abundance of accessories out there for felines and their human counterparts, it’s not always easy to know what the right accessory is for a particular occasion. But Snoopy’s got it down; read on and learn.
“I do” socks are both cute and cozy and make for excellent loungewear.
Black ties should be donned for those events that call for a gentleman to look his most dapper.
A bold statement necklace should be a staple in every fashionista’s wardrobe.
Holiday headgear makes the festive season a little brighter.
Big sunglasses ensure maximum UV protection AND maximum stylishness.
Miss Ning has been surprised by the unprecedented reaction to her pet and did not expect a lot of people to comment on her pictures or to share them with others. Guess she underestimated my appeal!
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t a C e h t u r a M
THE BOX JUMPING CAT Maru is a male Scottish Fold cat from Japan who has become a superstar in the YouTube community. Maru is surprisingly agile for such a “fluffy” cat and is able to jump great heights to engage in his favorite passtime: sitting in boxes. This is what Maru is best known for, but his YouTube channel also features many videos of him playing in a childlike fashion, lying around, and sliding across his owner’s wooden floor. Maru’s Blog, “I am Maru” was started in 2007, and his YouTube channel was launched in 2008. Maru’s YouTube channel was, at one point, one of the top 10 most subscribed channels in Japan. His videos are beloved not only for the quirky cutness of Maru, but also for the not-quite-perfect English phrases at the beginning of each video courtesy of his owner, known as “mugumogu”
Maru, in Japanese means “circle” or “round”. While this is certainly a suitable name for me (I weighed 5 lbs at only four months old!), it was actually decided that I was to be called Maru before I even came home.
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Maru is famous off the internet too, and has been featured on the Ellen DeGeneres show and in the New York Times. He also has two published books in Japan, and a compilation “best of” DVD.
Box Selection 101 HOW DO I KNOW IF A BOX IS GOOD FOR SITS?
Constructed of a material with some rigidity: cardboard is a good choice.
Sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether or not a box is appropriate for sitting in. This diagram illustrates the criteria that makes for a good sitting box.
Minimum of four walls.
When in doubt, simply remember: “If it fits, I sits.”
Has a bottom. This will provide the sitting surface.
CAN I SIT IN THIS BOX?
Medium Box
YES!
Large Box/Packing Box:
YES!
Smallish Box
YES!
Tiny Box
YES! 11
r i o N t a i Le Ch
Henr
“I have never had a moment of recognition where I felt any meaning to this life. I did lick a Dorito once. That wasn’t bad.” PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS FROM AN EXISTENTIAL KITTY It is not coindicence that the name “Henri” rhymes with “Ennui”, which is defined as a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement. That is exactly what this handsome tuxedo cat is best known for. “Le Chat Noir “ (The Black Cat) references both the iconic paintings by Théophile-Alexandre Steinlen, but also Henri’s moody spirit.
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- HENRI, ON THE MEANING OF LIFE.
BORN TO STAR
“If my tail twitches independent of my direction, it must have free will. Yet it has no mind of its own controlling it, so it must be my will that makes it move. Is my will, therefore, not free?”
Henri made his film debut in 2007 as part of an assignment his owner, William Braden, created for a class project at the Seattle Film Institute. It was shot, edited and narrated in eleven days. Braden chose to use a Film Noir style with French narration accompanied by English subtitles. More videos followed, the second of which was titled “Paw de Deux”, which gained more than 6 million views in six months. The videos express Henri’s existentialist nature and contempt for the other beings in his life, such as “The White Idiot” (Braden’s other cat). Henri also expresses the same contempt towards his owner, referring to him as the “Thieving Filmmaker” for profiting from the Henri’s online fame.
Cat “Littérature”: Henri’s Must-Read List
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The Stranger by Albert Camus
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Being and Nothingness
On the Genealogy of Morals
by John Paul Sartre
by Friedrich Nietzche
Book Description, Amazon. com:
Henri le Chat Noir: The Existential Musings of an Angst-Filled Cat
“A collection of Henri’s musings in his own words. This book is a window into the tortured soul of the world’s first feline philosopher.”
by Will Braden/Henri le Chat Noir
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b u B l Li
NATURE’S HAPPY ACCIDENT One of the internet’s most well known cats, Lil Bub is a female “perma-kitten” born with several genetic mutations causing dwarfism, polydactylism and a deformed lower jaw - a combination which also happened to make her freaking adorable. Bub rose to fame online after her owner Mike Bridavsky began uploading videos of her to YouTube in November 2011. Bub uses her fame for good. Most of the proceeds from the sale of Bub’s merchandise goes to shelters in her hometown. When Bub does meet and greets, people who want to see her must make a donation to the shelter that’s hosting the event.
BUB’S ORIGIN Lil Bub is an alien life form who came to earth from a very distant planet. Well, the official story is that she was discovered in a rural Indiana tool shed in June 2011, the runt of a litter of feral cats. But Bub didn’t look like any of her siblings, owner Mike Bridavsky says, “which leads us to believe that she may actually be an alien creature that crashed to Earth, and found this litter of Earth kittens and just joined them to fit in.”
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Lil Bub is the star of “Lil Bub and Friendz,” winner of Tribeca Online Festival Best Feature Film. She also has a book, entitled “Lil Bub’s Lil Book: The Extraordinary Life of the Most Amazing Cat on the Planet.”
What’s up with Lil Bub? Lil Bub is very small: She only weighs 3.9 pounds! Her owner refers to her as a perma-kitten.
Because of the shape of her mouth and jaw, Bub wasn’t able to nurse, so she was bottle-fed until she was able to nurse on her own. Bub’s tongue sticks out because she an underdeveloped jaw, and no teeth! She is still able to eat cat food though, both wet and dry.
Bub has a strict rule of being naked at all times: Bub, unlike Snoopybabe, will not wear silly hats, scarfs, or ridiculous outfits. Except for capes.
Bub has an extra toe on each foot, for a total of 22 toes. (Most cats have 18.)
Lil Bub is a dwarf. meaning that she has disproportionately small limbs, and can’t jump or leap the way that most cats are able to.
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t a C y p m u r G
GRUMPIEST CAT IN THE WORLD Like Bub, Tardar Sauce the Snowshoe cat suffers from dwarfism. This is the cause of her flat face and downturned mouth and resulting grumpy expression. Grumpy Cat has enjoyed incredible success on the world wide web. MSNBC named Grumpy Cat 2012’s most influential cat. She won BuzzFeed’s Meme of the Year Award at the 2013 Webby Awards, and first prize Golden Kitty at the second annual Internet Cat Video Film Festival. Grumpy is also the “official spokescat” of Friskies brand cat food and a holder of the Friskies Lifetime Achievement Award, and her Facebook fan page has over 1 million likes. Grumpy Cat has an official T-shirt line. Merchandise is sold in Urban Outfitters and Hot Topic stores.
Tardar Sauce owes her real name to a misspelling of the word “tartar” by the owner’s daughter, who believes the cat’s fur resembles the color of tartar sauce.
“That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard in all of my nine lives put together.”
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On July 23rd, 2013, Chronicle Books published Grumpy Cat: A Grumpy Book, which reached number one in the “Cats, Dogs and Animals Humor” category on Amazon in two weeks. Here’s a grumpy thought: this cat has probably achieved more in her life than you or I ever will.
Grumpy Cat Meme This image appeared on Reddit in September of 2012 and gained nearly 1,030,000 views in the first 48 hours. It made the front page where it was met by a flurry of Photoshop parodies and image macros. It immediately spawned the Grumpy Cat meme, But I couldn’t care less. The meme is stupid anyway.
Ironically, Tardar Sauce is actually reported to have a very sweet and mellow personality. It just happens to be extremely easy to projec the human emotion of grumpiness onto her likeness for our own enjoyment.
I’ve had about enough of your crap, human.
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NOTABLE
PICS & VIDS Iconic Imagery and Viral Videos
THE ONES THAT MADE HISTORY With an entire world wide web full of feline content, there are literally millions upon millions of cat pictures and videos being uploaded every day. Sadly, a majority come and go without the masses ever taking notice. Sometimes one will capture the public’s attention and go viral for a while, then taper off and die out, rarely thought of again. But there are a select few that have stood the test of time. Sure, we may not give them the attention we once did, but we remember them. This section explores a few of the big ones.
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THE MADE OF CATS SONG The famous phrase we named this book after was made into a song by the good people at rathergood.com. It is three minutes of solid awesomeness and we highly recommend you check it out. Here’s what rathergood had to say: “The Internet Is Made Of Cats. This is FACT and also science. We have written this educational song on the subject. It is wonderful and will also make you clever.” We tried it. It’s true.
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t a C d r a o b y Ke “FATSO” THE MUSICALLY GIFTED TABBY Keyboard cat goes down in history as one of the first and quite possibly most significant cat videos to ever hit the internet. An orange tabby named Fatso plays the role of Keyboard Cat, who is the “shot caller” of most epic FAILs on the Internet. If you find yourself teetering on the edge of ugly misfortune, you can rest assured Keyboard Cat will come to rescue and “play you off” before things hit rock bottom! The act is similar to the Vaudeville trope of “giving the hook” to a bad performance. The original VHS footage of Fatso was recorded by performance artist Charlie Schmidt in 1984. It hit the internet in 2007, but didn’t blow up until 2009 where it was first used in a mashup with a FAIL video. This gave rise to hundreds of FAIL video/Keyboard Cat mashups.
THE INTERPIPES ARE LEAKING In May of 2009, a tweet by Ashton Kutcher brough Keyboard Cat/FAIL mashup to the forefront of public attention. From there, the video started to be featured in mainstream media such as LA Times, MSNBC, and even CNN. Most notably, a commercial for Wonderful Pistachios featured an orange tabby playing keyboard. Fun fact: That orange tabby is named Bento, and he also belongs to Charlie Schmidt. You might call him Fatso’s successor. The meme saw a decline in popularity after this point, as is often the case when internet memes hit television networks.
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Play ‘Em Off: Keyboard Cat Song Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been subjected to a performance was so dismal you longed to just give ‘em the hook? Now you can. Simply play this melody, and they should get the hint.
WHEN SHOULD YOU “PLAY SOMEONE OFF”?
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Someone says something which is riddled with blatant stupidity. For bonus points, try to integrate their statement into the song.
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An act or explanation is overly long, boring, or bad. This is particularly effective when used in real-life conversations.
Someone fails miserably at the goal they were trying to achieve. If the medium is a YouTube video, a FAIL mashup should be created.
NOTE: Any instrument may be used to play someone off, though a keyboard tends to be the most effective.
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t a C OMG
SHOCKED CAT IS SHOCKED?! Look at that hilarious and incredulous expression! Those gigantic eyes! That jaw - dropped to the floor! This cat is more expressive than most humans, and that is exactly why it became such a widespread video: Chocolate the cat does a better job of expressing our surprise than we do. It’s only natural that her innocent shock and awe be exploited as reaction mashups to YouTube, and that is exactly what happened. Soon after the upload of the original video, dozens of mashups, duplicate clips, and reaction GIFs began cropping up all over the web. However, the video gained some serious notoriety on April Fools’ Day of 2010 when Justin Bieber parodied it in his April Fools’ Day prank on Funny or Die.
CHOCOLATE’S HEALTH DILEMMA The images and subsequent video of OMG Cat actually appeared on the internet for the first time when the owner was attempting to seek medical advice for Chocolate on a forum. According to the original poster, the kitten was suffering from a dislocated jaw when the pictures and videos were taken. Many comments were sympathetic, while noting that the cat looked hilarious. To the right, the original posts to the Japanese textboard community 2channel:
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9:22 pm on March 17th, 2010 My cat’s chin is about to fall out. I tried Googling for advice, but can’t find anything useful. Hospital is closed. What should I do? If anyone’s had a similar experience, post reply.
1:11 pm on March 19, 2010 Sorry if I made anyone to worry. Returning from the hospital and the kitten is fine now. For a whole day, she felt sick and couldn’t eat anything because of the medicine they gave her, but the jaw’s getting better and can even drink water again! Now she’s sleeping by the heater. I couldn’t deal with the crisis myself, but thanks to those who gave suggestions, concerns and tips for my Chocolate!
Other Surprised Cats of the Web Owner said “Meow” ... He understands my language.
The red dot only appears... When the human is present.
SUDDEN CLARITY CAT
What has been seen Cannot be unseen.
CONSPIRACY CAT
The feline alternative to Sudden Clarity Clarence, this meme captures the moment a cat has an epiphany which is actually quite trivial, even in cat terms.
Conspiracy Cat came about as a feline version of the Conspiracy Keanu meme and is used almost interchangeably with Sudden Clarity Cat.
Fun Fact: The cat in the picture just experienced the taste of yogurt for the first time. If you look closely, you can see a glob of yogurt stuck on the cat’s forehead.
The image is captioned with paranoid and philosophical conjectures one would expect if cats were capable of such things.
CANNOT-BE-UNSEEN CAT You may recognize Cannot-BeUnseen Cat as Anxiety Cat, and for more information about that, you can turn to page 48, but it existed first as Cannot-Be-Unseen Cat and was used to express shock and scarring in reaction to seeing something traumatic while browsing the internet.
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t a C n Nya
THE 8-BIT POPTART CAT SENSATION Nyan Cat, also known as Pop Tart Cat, is an 8-bit animation depicting a cat with the body of a cherry pop tart flying through outer space. The Pop Tart Cat animation was posted on the daily comics site LOL-COMICS, run by illustrator Chris Torres, known best as prguitarman. The original drawing was based on his own Russian Blue cat, Marty. In 2011, YouTuber saraj00n posted a video titled Nyan Cat, using the animation set to the well-known Japanese Vocaloid song Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya by Japanese artist Daniwell-P. The video gained over one million views in its first two weeks, and The sheer ingenuity of the combination was enough to inspire innumerable parodies, references, fan creations, and games across a huge variety of platforms.
NYAN UP! Every good thing on the internet eventually inspires merchandise. Nyan Cat is no excetption. From Left to Right: Nyan Cat Halloween Costume, Nyan Cat Music Plush Doll, Nyan Cat Scarf, Nyan Cat Halloween Costume (feline), Nyan Hoodie, Nike Air Max 95 “Nyan Cat� by Revive Customs.
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What Does the Cat Say? Nyaa/ Nyan
Meow
English (North American)
Japanese
Myau
Russian
Miaou
French
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n e e h s u P
EVERYDAY CUTE AND CUTE EVERY DAY Pusheen is the star of an animated webcomic series called Everyday Cute by artists Clare Belton and Andrew Duff that depicts the lives of the characters modeled after Belton, Duff, their dog Carmen, and Pusheen, a chubby grey tabby inspired by Belton’s childhood cat. Her name stems from the Irish word “puisin” which translates to “kitten”. As of February 2011, Pusheen was given her very own blog full of animations, games, and webcomics that explore her life and dreams. The blog has been highly successful and Pusheen has become a familiar face to the Internet. She even has a book out which launched this fall, which is called “I Am Pusheen the Cat”, and can be found at Urban Outfitters along with Nyan Cat merchandise, Grumpy Cat merchandise, and a whole bunch of bespectacled dudes in ridiculously overpriced skinnies.
EXPRESS YOURSELF Undoubtedly, one of the reasons for Pusheen’s limitless popularity is that she feels the same things we all feel - but much more adorably.
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The Social Media (Emot)icon PUSHEEN IN YOUR POCKET In April of 2013, an update to the facebook messenger app added a “stickers” feature – a sticker is basically a supersized emoji – and one of the default sticker sets happened to be our very own much beloved Pusheen! Pusheen feels the same way you probably feel about your iphone.
Pusheen stickers can be used - for free - in Facebook’s Messenger app for iPhone.
We think Pusheen is a great fit for a set of emoticons for a couple reasons. 1. Pusheen is cute as heck 2. Pusheen shares a love of sleep and food that can’t be adequately expressed with any other emoticon 3. The stickers are animated and how freaking adorable is that?!
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Ca
gy o l o h t y tnaro k M
LONG CAT VS. TACGNOL Catnarok Mythology traces its origins back to 4chan, where, as you know, things have been known to get a little weird. Here it is: “Catnarok is the long-awaited epic battle between Long Cat and Tacgnol. This cosmic battle has been foretold since the beginning of time. Long Cat and Tacgnol will meet on Caturday and begin their duel between light and darkness that will endure for a thousand eons. It will be an even match, a purrfect balance, so neither can fail. It will thus be an epic win and the world will be cleansed of all evil, and all flavors of cat food will be on sale.” Source: Encyclopedia Dramatica
TACGNOL
LONG CAT
The polar opposite, eternal rival and son of the divine entity that is Longcat.
Long Cat, as the name may suggest to some of the more observant individuals here present, that this cat is extremely long. Long Cat is well-recognized and is the central figure in the Catnarok Mythology.
Though isn’t it a bit strange that Tacgnol is so LONG even though it is supposedly the opposite to Long Cat? Which should be short...
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Ceiling Cat CEILING CAT IS WATCHING YOU... Ceiling Cat refers to a photographic image of a concerned-looking orange tabby whose head appears poking out through a hole in somebody’s ceiling. This image has become universally recognized by all denizens of the internet as a sign of wonder, an icon of fear, and a source of lulz. In Catnarok, Ceiling Cat will announce the coming together of Tacgnol and Long Cat in battle. SPOILER ALERT: It has been determined that ceiling cat’s head is actually poking out of a hole in a wall, and not an actual ceiling as so many have been led to believe.
Basement Cat ...BASEMENT CAT IS ALSO WATCHING YOU. Ceiling Cat’s nemesis and Tacgnol’s partner in ushering the Catnarok. Basement Cat is often confused with Tacgnol. It is said that basement cat would someday defeat ceiling cat, and on this day basement cat shall ascend to the attic, where he shall take complete control of all that is fluffy and white. And then, he shall make all that is fluffy and white fuzzy and black, thus plunging the world into the depths of the basement forever. We told you it was weird. And, as in all religious texts, there is a plethora of vastly differing interpretations. We’ve done our best, but please take it with a grain of salt.
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y r a i D o e Vid y n o m r eHa
YOU CAN’T HUG EVERY CAT
SONGIFIED
eHarmony Video Bio is a YouTube video featuring a woman who calls herself “Debbie” professing her extreme love for cats in what is supposedly a video profile for the dating site eHarmony.
The Gregory Brothers uploaded an auto-tune remix of Debbie’s eHarmony video to their “schmoyoho” channel.
In it, a young, timid woman “Debbie” begins her monologue explaining that it is her first attempt at creating an online dating profile video. Less than a full minute into the video, “Debbie” suddenly hits a wall of emotions and becomes teary-eyed, professing how much she loves cats. By December 2011, the video has accrued over 18 million views. It was suspected, and later confirmed, that Debbie was just trolling. But dang, she was convincing, no?
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The song actually rivals the original video in terms of its reach and popularity. You can even download it on iTunes. You know... If you pay for your music. Which we condone. Obviously...
“I want them in a basket, and I want little bowties. I just love them, and I want them to be on a rainbow, and in my bed, and I just want us to roll around.” - DEBBIE, ON LOVING CATS
HUG EVERY CAT LYRICS - COMPOSED BY THE GREGORY BROS I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just want to hug all of them But I can’t , Can’t hug every cat. Can’t hug every cat So anyway, I am a cat lover and I love to run. I’m sorry, I’m thinking about cats again I really lo-ove cats. I’m thinking about cats again And again, and again, and again, and again I think about how many don’t have a home And how I should have them I think about how cute they are, and how their ears... And the whiskers and the nose! I just love them. And I want them And I want them in a basket, and I want little bow ties I just love them, and I want them To be on a rainbow, and in my bed, and I just want us to roll around (T roll around, round, round, round) Sorry, I’m getting emotional. I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just want to hug all of them But I can’t , can’t hug every cat. Can’t hug every cat So anyway, I am a cat lover and I love to run I’m sorry, I’m thinking about cats again. I really lo-ove cats. But I can’t hug every cat. Can’t hug every cat. Can’t hug every cat.
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FELINE FRIENDS
& PHOTO FADS How to Get in on the Fun
I WANT MY CAT TO BE INTERNET FAMOUS, TOO. We know what you’re thinking. “My cat doesn’t have dwarfism or six toes or existential thoughts! He doesn’t have a weird jaw and he isn’t very long but he is SUPER CUTE and I want him to be famous TOO!” Fear not, cat owner. You can still get in on the fun with your average but undoubtedly awesome feline friend, and this is the way to do it: The internet has invented many ways for you to interact with your cat, snap a photo, and share it with all of your cat-loving friends and everyone else who still hasn’t blocked you on Facebook. We’re here to help you get started.
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Photo fads tend to come and go rapidly, so if you see a new one come up, be sure to grab your kitty and get in on the fun right away.
WHAT IS A PHOTO FAD? Photo Fads are staged photos in which the subject poses in a specific manner, often for the purpose of sharing the picture online. You remember Planking, don’t you? That was the most widespread of all photo fads, so far. Don’t worry, the ones that involve cats are way more adorable, fun, creative, and awesome than planking, owling, or teapotting ever was. And way more worth sharing, too. Have fun and don’t forget to #hashtag!
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g n i d r a e B t a C
FELINES AS FACIAL HAIR? Cat Beards or Cat Bearding (Not to be confused with Cat Breading), is a photo fad that involves positioning a cat in front of one’s face in such a manner that the feline’s furry chin appears as if it is part of the model’s facial hair. The trick is to have your feline friend in front and covering half of your face – and when the cat looks up, its chin and neck looks like a massive beard on your face. The effects can be fantastic, especially if you take the time to acessorize. Want to look like the dirty hipster you’ve been trying to be for years? Perfect. Grab your cat and your Ray Bans and make that beard!
DIY CAT BEARDING: A HOW-TO
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1
Obtain a cat. Use the guide on page 35 to help you select the type of cat you should obtain based on the desired appearance of your beard.
2
Hold the cat in one arm and your camera/phone in the other. Aim the phone up towards your face.
3
Have the cat look up towards the ceiling, aligning its nostrils with yours, and take the shot. For best results, aim a laser light upwards, or tape a cat treat to your ceiling.
HINT: For an authentic looking beard, pick a cat whose fur matches your hair.
Famous Beards & Corresponding Cats There have been many historical figures throughout history who have mighty beards. Perhaps you’re envious and would like to incorporate their style when you do your own cat beard? Here are some suggestions. If you don’t have access to these particular breed of cats, scan the above icon with your app for a workaround.
The Santa Claus
Redbeard the Pirate
The Grizzled Hobo
The Spartan
The Prepubescent
Persian
Orange Tabby
Selkirk Rex
Black Shorthair
Egyptian Sphynx
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s t a C d a e r B n I
IN-BREAD CATS (AKA CAT-BREADING) The very first cat bread photo was posted to both Reddit and Tumblr on August 2nd, 2011, where it received over 51,000 notes in six months. Since then, all the cool kids are putting their cats in bread and taking pictures of them looking like little yeasty lions. “Breading” is a throw-back to the old Japanese “putting-food-on-rabbits” meme of the early viral web, but with a modern twist. The idea is that it’s a pun on the term “inbred”. We know, we never said it was clever, but it’s adorable, so if you happen to have a cat and a slice, why not give it a go?
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Ever the trendster, Snoopybabe (p. 8) also partook in breading.
Bread Your Cat! So you’ve decided the time has come for you to attempt to bread your cat, but you have no idea how? That’s why we’re here. Our simple three-step breading process will have your cat looking like a fearsome loafmonster in no time flat, guaranteeing* to make you Insta-Famous ASAP.
If you cannot find a sturdy bread, you may choose to toast your bread instead.
2
Create a hole in the middle of your bread, approximately 3 inches square, but it will depend on the size of your cat’s head.
1 Select your bread. You’ll want to avoid Wonderbread, glutenfree bread, or anything too soft or crumbly; a good rye or pumpernickel bread would be an excellent choice.
This method is called “Peeping Tom”. You may also choose to do the less common “Little Lion”, where the cats ears also emerge through the hole.
Don’t wait too long or your cat will get mad and you risk a peed-on pillow!
3 Put your bread on your cat’s head. A brief moment of shock will ensue as your cat tries to figure out what has just occurred. This is the opportune moment to take your picture.
* not guaranteed
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s t a c e z Boo
THE MOST ADORABLE FORM OF CENSORSHIP It’s Sunday morning and you’re feeling a little worse for wear. You ignore the pounding in your head and log onto Facebook only to find 16 tagged pictures of you enjoying last night’s Jagerbombs. Mom’s gonna be mad. You beg your friend to take it down or at least untag you, but her liquid eyeliner turned out REALLY GOOD that night so she’s making it her profile pic. You try to change your privacy settings but get lost in a sea of confusion that only Zuckerberg himself could navigate.
NOTE: “Boozecat” doesn’t mean a cat who likes to partake in alcoholic beverages. In fact, you should avoid giving your cat alcohol, as they might turn into this. Also, a majority of alcohol is poisonous to cats. They much prefer milk.
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That’s where boozecats come in. Boozecats is a Photoshop meme that involves censoring alcoholic beverages in a photo by superimposing images of cats over the bottles or cups. It was July of 2009 when a roommate of Ryan Darrenkamp was searching for a photo of herself with a friend to use in an album. All of the photos, however, contained beer, so Darrenkamp photoshopped cats over each of the bottles and cups, and boozecats were born.
Choose Your Booze(cat) Although by no means a requirement of a boozecat image, we think a certain artistic flair can be added by coordinating your the cat you choose with the beverage you are censoring. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
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C
o o r a k a t Buc
THE ART OF CAT STACKING Cat Buckaroo (sometimes known as “cat stacking”) is a photo fad and a game that involves stacking an array of objects on the surface of a cat’s body and taking a photograph of the balanced arrangement. Similar to the game of Jenga, the goal of the game is to stack as many items on a cat without collapsing the stack. The name of the game is derived from the Milton Bradley board game called Buckaroo, in which players must carefully stack game objects onto a mechanical toy mule’s back. If the toy mule is affected by a vibration, the spring mechanism would cause the pieces to fly, and the player who triggered it would be out of the game.
This particular stacker was clever: he or she used a book as a sturdy base upon which to build.
This is one way to participate in the game of Cat Stacking, but it is not the right way. Credit where credit is due though, they’ve done an excellent job of ensuring structural integrity by placing Mr. Butterball on the bottom.
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It’s possible that Cat Buckaroo was descended from an earlier internet phenomenon of stacking food (usually pancakes) on the heads of pet rabbits. Cat stacking came about in 2003 and is still commonly practiced today, likely making it the internet’s longest-lived photo fads involving cats.
Cat Buckaroo Point System Like Hide and Seek, Sociables, and Family Monopoly Night, the rules to Cat Buckaroo vary widely between regions, social groups, and individuals. Below, we have provided you with the version we go by. Remember: Your cat’s safety comes first! If you think an object might be too heavy for your cat, it’s probably best to rethink your choice.
10 Points: Stuffed Animal
25 Points: Remote Control
50 Points: Packaged Food
250 Points: Non-Packaged Food
5000 Points: Another Animal
A reliable go-to; soft and light enough so as to not disturb the cat.
Easily accessible and the buttons provide good grip on cat fur.
Often quite hilarious; worth a bit more due to slippery packagins.
Requires significant forethought; also tempts the cat to investigate.
Typically a game-ender. Not recommended: fish, dogs, or large carnivores.
RULES AND BONUS POINTS The rules to cat stacking are as follows: • Do not squish your cat. Cat safety comes first. • The game ends when the stack falls. • Pics or it didn’t happen.
1 2 3
Stack is greater than 12 inches high: Every additional item is worth an additional 500 points. Stack has a theme (ie: all food items; all red items): Additional 3000 points. Combo Bonus: Every item stacked on top of a like item is worth 2x the points of the previous item.
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MEMES & IMAGE MACROS Cats: Iconic Advice Animals MEOWS AND MACROS If you could distill the internet cat phenomenon down to its essence, or at least its origins, you’d probably be left with image macros. What is an image macro? Generally, it’s an image captioned with a witty message or catchphrase in bold Impact font with white letters and a black outline. Sounds familiar? It should. You’ve probably seen hundreds of these. Though it’s hard to identify most pervasive cat media on the internet, image macros were, at least at one point the lifeblood of cat culture online, with LOLcats being the most notable. You will learn more about LOLcats in this section.
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Hipster Kitty image macros are typically paired with tongue-in-cheek sayings to poke fun at the hipster demographic.
Chemistry Cat is captioned with a pun, usually based on the names of chemical elements from the periodic table or various laws of science and physics.
ADVICE ANIMALS? Another type of image macro you might be familiar with is the Advice animal: an image macro series that features various animals, often on a colored pinwheel background, and each with a certain archetype. Though they are not always giving advice, advice animals are so named because the original image macro was Advice Dog: A cute puppy on a rainbow starburst background with a couple lines of text of (questionable) advice. Since then, dozens of spinoffs have cropped up. A few you might be familiar with are Socially Awkward Penguin, Actual Advice Mallard, and Philosoraptor. This chapter explores a few feline ones.
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s t a C L O L
CHEEZBURGER NETWORK LOLcats are image macros consisting of humorous photos of cats with superimposed text - typically in “Impact” font, written in a form of broken English known as lolspeak. The trend originated on 4chan, but became a cultural phenomenon with the creation of the I Can Has Cheezburger website (ICHC). ICHC is the most popular website dedicated exclusively to posts of LOLcats. It receives as many as 1,500,000 hits per day. ICHC was instrumental in bringing animalbased image macros and lolspeak into mainstream usage - online and offline. Along with I Can Has Cheezburger, a network of related sites has developed. These sites include FAIL Blog, Engrish Funny, Art of Trolling, and Know Your Meme, to name a few.
RECURRING LOLCATS Though a LOLcat can be any image of a cat with humorous text, there are certain themes we see again and again. A few common ones are:
This is Happy Cat. He is actually the mascot of Russian Cat food company “Happy Cat”. The cat is a British Shorthair and goes down in history as the very first LolCat. HappyCat is the grandfather of all cat memes, and therefore, arguably, the grandfather of internet memes.
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• Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh • Monorail Cat • Kitty Loaf • If It Fits I Sits • Not Amused • Invisible X (see p. 45)
Lol-Linguistics FROM “LOL” TO “IRL” The following phrases were popularized by LolCat images and have made their way into popular online vernacular. You may have even found yourself using them in everyday life. Here’s where they originated:
“Om nom nom/nom nom nom” An exclamation made during the consumption of something yummy Originated from the sound Sesame Street’s character Cookie Monster makes while eating cookies.
“...Ur doin it wrong.” A phrase commonly associated with “FAIL” images and videos, the LolCat versions tend to be significantly more adorable.
“I’m in/on ur (noun) (verb)ing your “(noun) Derived from popular gaming catchphrase “i’m in ur base killin ur doodz”, popularly used in Starcraft to indicate pwnage over another player.
“kthxbai” Internet slang for “Okay, thank you, goodbye.” Often used in a condescending or contemptuous manner.
INVISIBLE (OBJECT): Used to describe photos in which the subject (usually a cat) appears as though it could be interacting with an invisible object. Invisible Measuring Tape
Invisible Window Installation
Invisible Grocery Cart
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t a C s s e n i s u B
Something a boss says
BUSINESS CAT AIN’T NO JOKE Business cat is an advice animal meme depicting a cat in a tie over a multicolored starburst background. The overlaid text usually follows the format: “something an office boss would do or request”, “something a cat would do or say”. The Business Cat meme came from the same place most memes do: Reddit. The original photo, which was first posted on Something Awful (see p. 55), was posted to Reddit and turned into a meme within hours. In the world of image macros, Business Cat, while quite wellknown and well-liked, is not that commonly used. Reddit user eukomos gives his two cents: “I think the problem [with Business Cat] isn’t so much popularity as degree of difficulty. You need a pretty good sense of humor to come up with a good Business Cat. The super popular ones are things you can just slap your thoughts on.”
Something a cat does
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Note the use of “Impact” font, as is customary with all image macros.
Spot on, eukomos. We think you deserve a “purr-motion”.
EMILIO THE CAT: FOUNDER, BUSINESS CAT & CO. Did you know that Business Cat is really a Brooklyn-based kitty named Emilio? On January 1st, 2011, Something Awful forum user Apple Jax posted a picture of her boyfriend’s cat Emilio. When the photo was taken, Emilio the cat was wearing a tie he had received for Christmas from Etsy shop Whisker Kisses. Sadly, Emilio wasn’t a huge fan of his business attire. But just because he didn’t like it, doesn’t mean your cat won’t! Whisker Kisses sells collars, ties, and bow ties for your cat.
The Etsy Shop “Whisker Kisses” offers a variety of specialty pet “collars, and is where Emilio’s tie and collar came from.
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t a C y t Anxie
ANXIETY CAT HAS SEEN SOME STUFF As mentioned on page 23, Anxiety Cat actually existed previously as part of an earlier type of image macro - a demotivational poster. The poster featured the original photo of this traumatized looking black cat, captioned with the text: “What has been seen cannot be unseen”. We can only assume that whatever it was that Cannot Be Unseen Cat saw resulted in a lasting case of PTSD, and now we have the Anxiety Cat advice animal. Anxiety Cat is captioned with text usually related to paranoia and social distress. Unfortunately, the anxiety cat never became hugely popular in the world of advice animals, but it was an important anscestor to other macros like Socially Awkward Penguin (which addresses issues of social anxiety and awkwardness) and Paranoid Parrot (which deals with irrational responses to normal situations, driven by paranoia).
Unlike other feline advice animals such as First World Problems Cat and Business Cat, Anxiety Cat, the content of an anxiety meme doesn’t typically involve felines at all. The cat is more of an arbitrarily chosen mascot.
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In the end, Anxiety Cat’s archetype was a little too broad to create an advice animal with staying power.
HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR ANXIETY Did you know that yoga is a physiological stress-buster? A few moments of yoga a few times a day can eliminate anxiety cat from your life for good! These kitties show you how it’s done:
Sun Salutation (Anyvittasana)
Peacock Pose (Pincha Mayura)
Lotus Pose (Sukhasana)
Plow Pose (Halasana)
Chair Pose (Utkatasana)
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C at s m e l b o d Pr l r o W t Fi rs
NINE VERY DIFFICULT LIVES Lounging in the sunlight. Having your food and beverages served to you at regular times every day. Hours upon hours spent sleeping on comfortable and warm surfaces. Envious though their lives may seem, being a housecat comes with its own unique set of problems. A companion to the original First World Problems meme, First World Problems Cat/First World Problems Kitten explores the trivial complaints of privileged kitties.
First World Problems Cat came about as a result of the First World Problems meme featuring this image of a crying woman. First World Problems, also known as “White Whine,” are frustrations and complaints that are only experienced by privileged individuals in wealthy countries. It is typically used as a tongue-in-cheek comedic device to make light of trivial inconveniences.
The macro first appeared with a different image (see page 51), on Reddit in 2011. In January of 2012, the macro with the image we know it by today was posted to Reddit, where it picked up traction, making the front page with its second submission. The origin of the photograph remains unknown, although the image was passed around on tumblr regularly prior to the image macro’s existence. The identity of the original kitten is also unknown, though it is most likely of the Ragdoll Breed.
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WORTH 100 WORDS Though the image we know and love was not always the one used for First World Problems Cat (original pictured left), I think we can all agree that it works beautifully, both on its own and as a counterpart to the First World Problems (human) image. But what is it, exactly, that makes this picture such a perfect fit for this meme? Let’s examine:
Shallow depth of field creates a beautiful bokeh effect in the background. Artful and atmospheric.
Kitten’s fur is very lush and soft. This kitty is well taken care of.
Big, beautiful, bright blue eyes create a sense of humanity and cuteness which in turn creates sympathy. The kitten rests its chin on a blanket. Because resting its chin directly on the couch would be too scratchy, obviously.
The weight of the first world is weighing on this kitten. So much so that it cannot even support the weight of its own head.
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a C d e t a c i t s i h p o S
t
SOPHISTICATED CAT’S BIG EPIPHANY I Should Buy a Boat Cat, also known as “Sophisticated Cat” and “Fancy Cat,” is an image macro series featuring a photograph of a cat wearing a suit while seated at a table reading a newspaper. This meme captures a moment of epiphany, and is usually captioned with text realting to sudden relvelations or desires. The image originated from the music video for Bjork’s Triumph of a Heart. This infamous screencap was posted to reddit with the caption “I should buy a boat” One spin-off of this meme involves photos of inquisitive-looking subjects have been captioned with the phrase “I should buy a boat.”
I Should Buy a Boat Cat is one of the few memes where the original image macro doesn’t use Impact font.
Screencap from Bjork’s music video, Triumph of a Heart, where Sophisticated Cat made his first appearance. Note that the video has absolutely nothing to do with boats of any description.
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This cat has managed to achieve his dream of boat ownership.
BOAT ADVICE One can only imagine that a common housecat, sophisticated as he may be, would not be the best qualified individual to make a smart buying decision when it comes to boats. A mallard duck, on the other hand? Experts in buoyancy. Experts in everything, apparently. Hence the existence of Actual Advice Mallard.
+ I Should Buy a Boat Cat is best known for its original image macro.
= Actual Advice Mallard is an advice animal image macro series featuring a photograph of a male wild duck accompanied by captions containing life hacks and other useful information.
The Boat Advice meme features a cat consulting a mallard duck, accompanied by advice (usually regarding boats), directed towards his feline friend.
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WHAT HAPPENS
MEOW? I Can Has More Pls?
THE INTERNET IS MADE OF CATS Congratulations! You have now become an expert on cat culture on the world wide web. But even after 53 pages of content, we have still only scratched the surface. In this book, we have covered the memes and media that we found most impactful, but when it comes to cats, there are still hundreds of photos, videos, image macros, phrases, and references out there on the net, and more appearing every day. We think it’s important for you to keep abreast of the latest developments, so we’ve put together some resources to help you out. Feel free to purr-use them as you see fit, and enjoy!
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Moar Cat Stuff! MADE OF CATS APP
CATSTER
What we didn’t cover in the book, we’ve probably covered in the app. We’re also diligently updating it all the time to bring YOU the freshest and most relevant cat memes, as they surface.
Like Facebook, but in a less Gigantic-Evil-Mega-Corporation kind of way. Also, its content is exclusively cat-related. A great source for up-to-the-minute news on anything and everything cat related on the net.
INTERNET CAT VIDEO FILM FESTIVAL
CAT ISLAND Officially named Tashiro Island, this Japanese island is only 8 square miles, and populated by thousands and thousands of cats. Sounds like heaven on earth, doesn’t it?
First held in Minneapolis in 2012, the festival is now an annual event. Famous internet cats have been known to make appearances, too!
KNOW YOUR MEME Part of the Cheezburger network and a major resource in writing this book, Know Your Meme can not only fill you in on cat memes, but every other meme on the internet as well.
kthxbai!
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The End!
59
BACK COVER
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