NOV. 1, 2012 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER GLADSTONE DISPATCH
BOOK BUZZ: Can-do characters Divorced parents can get along
Toddlers have a ticket to ride, too
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Divorced couples’ co-parenting improve relationships New research conducted at the University of Missouri offers hope for divorced parents and suggests hostile relationships can improve when ex-spouses set aside their differences and focus on their children’s needs. “Most people falsely believe that, when people get divorced, they’ll continue to fight, to be hostile,” said Marilyn Coleman, curators’ professor of human development and family studies at MU. “We found in our study that’s not always true. Some couples get along from the very beginning, and, for about half of the women we interviewed, the couples whose relationships started badly improved over time.” Coleman and a colleague interviewed 20 women who shared physical custody of their children with ex-partners. Nearly half of the women interviewed said they had contentious relationships with their former significant others and the other half reported amicable relationships. Of the women reporting cordial relationships with their ex-spouses, a few had always gotten along; the rest of the relationships had gone from combative to cordial. “To me, it’s almost as if the parents in the bad-to-better relationships matured,” Coleman said. “Mostly, it’s because the parents began focusing on their children. The parents saw how upset their arguments made their kids, so they decided to put their differences aside and focus on what was best for the children.” The women in amicable relationships reported that their ex-partners were responsible parents and that money was not a source of conflict. In addition, the women said they communicated with their ex-partners frequently and in multiple ways — via text messages, phone calls and emails. Cordial parents also dealt with differences in parenting styles more efficiently by communicating issues that arose. In addition, the women who had better relationships with their former spouses did not try to limit their children’s interaction with their fathers and, instead, found ways to conveniently transition the children between two homes. “Conflict within a marriage or after a divorce is the most harmful thing parents can do for their children’s development,” Coleman said. “If kids go through
MU researcher finds focusing on children instead of relationship problems helps separated couples parent effectively, civilly
NORTHLAND FAMILY IS A SPECIAL SECTION PUBLISHED THE FIRST WEEK OF EACH MONTH BY LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY COURIER AND GLADSTONE DISPATCH, DIVISIONS OF NPG NEWSPAPERS, INC. MAILING ADDRESS: 104 N. MAIN ST., LIBERTY, MO 64068 ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: 816-781-4941 EDITORIAL INQUIRIES: NORTHLANDFAMILY@NPGCO.COM
their parents’ divorce, they’ve lost some access to both parents. If the parental fighting continues, the children have not only lost access, they’re still involved in the conflict — in the ugliness — and it harms the kids.” Coleman cautions that shared physical custody does not ensure cooperative, happy relationships post-divorce. Making the co-parenting relationships work requires conscientious efforts from parents. “The courts tend to use a one-size-fits-all philosophy when dealing with divorces and determining custody of children, and that really doesn’t work for some parents — especially if there has been abuse or if high levels of conflict continue,” Coleman said. “We need to find out how joint-custody works for families. The goal for divorced parents should be to maintain the best co-parenting relationships possible by moving past prior relationship issues and focusing on children’s well-beings.” The study, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Divorced Mothers’ Experiences with Co-parenting,” was published in Family Relations. Coleman’s co-author, Mindy Markham, received her doctorate at MU and now teaches at Kansas State University. The Department of Human Development and Family Studies is housed in the MU College of Human Environmental Sciences. — University of Missouri News Bureau
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LI B E RT Y T R I BU N E , T H E K E A R NEY COURIER, GLADSTONE DISPATCH
According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and CAN-Bike, children 2 years of age and older who exhibit signs of pedaling and steering are at a good age to start learning to ride a bicycle. Experts cite the following considerations: Ride-on toys with push handles are hard to control and don’t promote independence. Tricycles can tip over, scrape ankles and can be difficult to pedal. Training wheels — or stabilizers — added to a normal bicycle can actually deter important bike riding
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Toddlers have a ticket to ride, too skills, as they don’t promote the most important skill required to ride a bike: balance. Once training wheels are removed, the child is back to square one and still has to learn balance and motor skills. An emerging trend for toddlers in both Europe and North America is the balance bike. These two-wheeled bikes without pedals, brakes, cranks and chains can help toddlers make an easier transition to riding and help build balance, coordination, turns
and positioning. Take a look at the PlasmaBike, for example. It’s a comfortably high, easy-to-propel, pedal-free bicycle with recessed but reasonably wide-spaced wheels for maneuverability and balance, and a smooth wheel movement for progressive speeding while learning to avoid obstacles and hazards. PlaSmart tells us that parent reviewers at Amazon.com have called the PlasmaBike “one resilient toy” and a “confidence builder at a very early age.” Parents say it gives toddlers long-lasting, addictive fun and strongly recommend it as a starter bike for young children. As with all bikes, parents are encouraged to ensure their children wear a helmet, as recommended by the Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute. — Metro Creative
Toys to talk about Interactive electronics are poised to be all the rage for the 2012 gift-giving season, as Flying Super Grover and Bouncy the Happy to See Me Pup figure to generate significant interest. In addition, a 1990s classic interactive electronic toy is making a comeback this year: Furby. Its reincarnation has more expressive LCD eyes, more emotions and various fur colors. It even comes with an iOS app. Children can have fun teaching their Furby to learn English and respond through play. The Oct. 24 list price on Amazon.com for each of these toys was: $33 for Flying Super Grover, $37 for Happy to See Me Pup and $62 for Furby. — Metro Creative
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The Accidental Parent Love is a frightful emotion By Betsy Lee
Sometimes, when darkness descends on my house and my husband is snoring peacefully, I imagine that one of my children has died. I pull the covers tighter and picture coming upon one of them, cold and motionless. I imagine the hard metal that would spread through my belly. I hear the choking sobs. Sometimes, I get so close to picturing the pain that tears well in my eyes and the desire to hold one of my babies becomes a tingling sensation. I toss off my blankets and stare at them while they sleep. Their chests rise and fall. And I experience how tightly one can weave fear into love. When I stand in their dimly lit doorways, I’m allowing a fraction of what I feel for my children to surface. When the house is quiet and they are in their beds, it’s safe to pull it out. But in the daylight, all that could harm them is illuminated, and I simply can’t. Because if I actually feel how much I love them, they wouldn’t be allowed to leave the house.
Before I had children, little scared me. I lived, taking risks measured by my own yardstick. But then I had a baby. My body will never forget the weight of my first child resting in the crook of my arm. His entire body fit between my elbow and my wrist. One night, just a few weeks after his birth, a warm flood of love made me kiss his downy head and whisper, “I’ll always keep you safe.” Blankets became deathtraps. Sidewalks recipes for busted teeth. As if seeing them for the first time, car tires seemed massive. In the children’s film “Finding Nemo,” Marlin, who has lost his young son, screeches to his companion, Dory, “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!” “Hmmm,” Dory says, “that’s a funny thing to promise.” “What?!” Marlin shrieks. “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him,” she responds glibly. “Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun …” The writer intends for you to share in the father’s “a-ha” moment — that he’s been holding his son back from experiencing the world. But I can’t help but see Marlin’s point. After all, here he is scouring the sea for his lost son. The reality is that, when you first have a baby, it’s easy to keep them safe. You follow the guidelines, buckle them in their car seat and you feel secure. But in the blink of an eye they are crawling, walking, tumbling, running, jumping, swimming, kicking, driving, dating and, finally, leaving.
And to survive all this, with every birthday celebration, my love for my children sinks a bit more below sea level. The more risks they take, the less I can stand to feel what’s at stake. I suspect, as they age, my children will say I’m controlling. I might even be labeled strict. They’ll probably say I don’t understand them. But, like Nemo, there is something they can’t begin to grasp. Until they are grown and they have their own husbands and wives and little babies. Until they, too, learn just how terrifying it is to love something more than you love yourself. Until they are standing in a doorway, crying over how big, crazy and terrifying that love seems to be in the still darkness.
Betsy Lee is a Kansas City journalist and columnist who lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, three children and two pets. She can be reached at contactbetsylee@gmail.com.
... with no safety net
LI B E RT Y T R I BU N E , T H E K E A R NEY COURIER, GLADSTONE DISPATCH
Cancer claims millions of lives across the globe each year. No one is immune from cancer, though some people, either due to genetics or certain lifestyle choices, are at greater risk than others. Among those with a low risk of developing cancer are children. Childhood cancer can occur, but it is generally rare. However, when cancer does strike in children, it often comes as leukemia or lymphoma. Leukemia begins in the blood-forming tissue and causes a large number of blood cells to be produced and enter the bloodstream. Lymphoma begins in the cells of the immune system. Brain and spinal cord tumors are the third most common type of childhood cancer. Their cause is unknown, and the symptoms of childhood brain and spinal cord tumors vary from child to child. That said, it’s important for parents to understand brain and spinal cord tumors so they can be better prepared should their children begin to exhibit any symptoms.
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How does a brain or spinal cord tumor form? There are many types of brain and spinal cord tumors. But each type forms when there is an abnormal growth of cells. This abnormal growth can begin in different areas of the brain or spinal cord. Are brain or spinal cord tumors benign or malignant? A tumor on the brain or spinal cord does not always indicate cancer. According to the National Cancer Institute, some such tumors are benign. Benign tumors will grow and press on nearby areas of the brain, but these tumors rarely spread into other tissue. Malignant brain tumors grow rapidly and spread into other brain tissue. As a malignant tumor grows into or presses on an area of the brain, that part of the brain it is growing into or pressing on may stop working as it’s supposed to. Whether a brain or spinal cord tumor is benign or malignant, some symptoms, including ones that are unpleasant, will occur, and the tumor will require treatment. What are the symptoms of childhood brain and spinal cord tumors? A tumor on the brain or spinal cord may cause uncomfortable symptoms for a child. However, the appearance of these symptoms does not necessarily mean a child has a brain or spinal cord tumor. The symptoms could be indicative of another condition. Symptoms will also vary depending on where the tumor is. Symptoms of a childhood brain tumor include: • morning headache, or headaches that go away after vomiting • frequent nausea or vomiting • vision, hearing and speech problems • loss of balance and difficulty walking • unusual sleepiness • change in activity level • unusual changes in personality or behavior • seizures Continued on next page
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Continued from previous page Symptoms of a childhood spinal tumor include: • back pain or pain that spreads from the back toward the limbs • difficulty urinating • a change in bowel habits • weakness in the legs • trouble walking Children suffering from brain or spinal cord tumors may also be unable to reach certain growth and development milestones. This includes sitting up, walking and talking in sentences. How do doctors determine if a child has a brain or spinal cord tumor? There are several tests and procedures a doctor can employ to determine whether a child has a brain or spinal cord tumor.
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Physical exam and history: A doctor may perform an exam of the body to check for signs of disease, including lumps or anything out of the ordinary. The doctor will also want to know the child’s medical history, including past illnesses and treatments. Neurological exam: A neurological exam is a series of questions and tests to check the brain, spinal cord and nerve function. These tests will measure a child’s coordination, his or her ability to walk normally and his or her mental status. It also will examine how well the muscles, senses and reflexes are working. Serum tumor marker test: During this procedure, a doctor will take a blood sample to measure the amounts of certain substances released into the blood by organs, tissue or tumor cells. Certain substances are linked to certain types of cancer, so finding more of them in the bloodstream can help the doctor make a more accurate diagnosis.
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MRI with gadolinium: This procedure will make a series of detailed pictures of the brain and spinal cord. Gadolinium is injected into the child’s vein and will collect around the cancer cells so they appear brighter in the picture. CT scan: A CTscan, or CAT scan, is a procedure that takes a series of pictures of areas inside the body. These pictures are detailed and taken from different angles. Angiogram: This procedure focuses on the blood vessels and the flow of blood in the brain. A contrast dye is injected into the blood vessel, and as that dye moves through the vessel, pictures are taken to determine if there are any blockages. PET scan: This procedure is looking for malignant tumor cells in the body. Some radioactive glucose is injected into the body, and the PET scanner rotates
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around the body, taking pictures of where the glucose is being used. Malignant tumors take up more glucose than normal cells, so tumor cells will show up brighter in the picture because they are more active. What happens if a child is diagnosed with a brain or spinal tumor? The NCI notes that most childhood brain tumors are diagnosed and removed in surgery. A child’s chance of recovery might be affected by a host of factors, including the type of tumor, the amount of cancer cells, if any, remaining after surgery, where the tumor was in the body, the child’s age, and if the tumor was recurring or just diagnosed. More information on childhood brain and spinal tumors is available at www.cancer.gov. — Metro Creative
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Which doc is for you? Choosing the right doctor is a critical decision that requires some in-depth research. Often individuals make this decision purely by which names turn up on a health insurance plan, while others choose the doctor who is closest to their homes. Although managed care has changed the way many look for and use doctors, this doesn’t mean a person should remain hands-off in the selection process. Narrow down potential doctors by their specialty, academic history, proximity to home and whether the doctor is board-certified. A doctor who is board-certified has taken several extra years of training and passed a difficult board examination. To remain board-certified, he or she sometimes must complete continuing education and periodic recertification. After the list is made, you can select two or three eligible doctors and make appointments for non-care-related interviews. This way there is the chance to gauge the doctors’ personality, how well the interaction goes, and how comfortable you would feel in his or her care. The doctor who best meets these criteria is likely going to make the best fit. — Metro Creative
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I tried other weight loss programs. They didn’t work. Dr. Robert Huster did a comprehensive evaluation and planned my own treatment program. Sure, there were some life changes, but he and his staff supported me the whole way for long term success. You can do it, too. Do it now. There is only one weight loss program in the Northland with a physician board certified by the American Board of Obesity Medicine. Many insurance plans now cover medically supervised weight loss. Check your plan for details.
Robert M. Huster, M.D., FACOG Highland Park Professional Plaza 1500 N. Church Road, Suite C • Liberty, Missouri (816) 781-9620
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Liberty Hospital now welcomes Preferred-Care Blue. Now even more people can experience the right care.
Right here.
We’re pleased to announce that Liberty Hospital now accepts Preferred-Care Blue, the insurance plan offered by Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Kansas City. This is important news for people with Preferred-Care Blue coverage because they can now enjoy in-network access to affordable, high-quality care — right here at Liberty Hospital. And we’re excited that the inclusion of this new plan allows us to broaden our mission of serving the healthcare needs of our community. Learn more about how you can get the right care, right here by visiting www.libertyhospital.org.
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5-minute holiday treats Holiday time means cookie time, but with the demands of the holiday season it’s not always possible to spend hours baking. This year, try fast and fun holiday cookie-inspired Chex Party Mix recipes that bring your favorite flavors to life in just 15-minutes in the microwave.
Sugar Cookie Chex Party Mix and Iced Pumpkin Chex Mix are delicious, fun and easy to make, whether you are entertaining or gift giving. For a quick and easy hostess gift, line seasonal tins with tissue paper and fill them up with your favorite mix. Or, try packaging your mix in cellophane bags or
Sugar Cookie Chex Party Mix
Iced Pumpkin Chex Mix
Prep Time: 15 minutes Start to Finish: 15 minutes Makes: 14 servings (1/2 cup each) 6 1/4 1/4 2 2 1/4 1
1
Prep Time: 15 Minutes Start to Finish: 15 Minutes Makes: 14 servings (1/2 cup each)
cups Rice Chex® cereal cup butter or margarine cup granulated sugar tablespoons corn syrup teaspoons pure vanilla cup powdered sugar ounce white baking chocolate or 1/4 cup vanilla milk chips to 2 teaspoons colored sugar sprinkles
2 2 2 1/2 1/4 1/4 1 1/4 2
cups Cinnamon Chex® cereal cups Wheat Chex® cereal cups Honey Nut Chex® cereal cup pumpkin seeds cup brown sugar cup canned pumpkin tablespoon pumpkin pie spice cup butter teaspoons vanilla
Cream Cheese Icing 1 ounce) premium white chocolate 1 ounce cream cheese, softened
Measure cereal in large microwaveable bowl. Line a cookie sheet with waxed paper or foil. In 2-cup microwavable measuring cup, microwave butter uncovered on High 30 seconds or until melted. Add sugar and corn syrup; microwave uncovered on High 30 seconds until mixture is heated and can be stirred smooth. Stir in vanilla. Pour over cereal, stirring until evenly coated. Microwave uncovered on High 2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute. Sprinkle with powdered sugar; mix well. Spread on waxed paper or foil. Microwave white chocolate on High 30 seconds or until it can be stirred smooth; drizzle over top; sprinkle with edible glitter or colored candies.
In large microwavable bowl, mix cereals and pumpkin seeds. Line cookie sheet with waxed paper or foil. In small bowl, mix brown sugar, pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice; set aside. In 2-cup microwaveable measuring cup, microwave butter on High about 30 seconds or until melted. Add pumpkin mixture; microwave about 30 seconds, or until hot. Stir in vanilla. Pour pumpkin-butter mixture over cereal and
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festive cupcake cups, and then decorate them with festive ribbons and stickers for a fun holiday party treat. Get more 15-minute Chex Party Mix recipes and entertaining tips at www.chexpartymixchange.com. — Family Features
OT
seeds, stirring until evenly coated. Microwave uncovered on High 5 minutes or until mixture begins to brown, stirring every minute. Spread on waxed paper to cool. While mix is cooling, melt white chocolate in microwave on High 30 seconds; stir in softened cream cheese. Drizzle over top of mix; refrigerate 5 minutes or until set. Store in airtight container in refrigerator.
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BOOK BUZZ: Can-do characters Courage, perseverance and grit are traits Newsbee would like to have. This month your bee buddy introduces you to three “Can-Do Characters” who don’t back down, no matter what. Get set to meet a boy who’s brave bee-yond compare, a gent with gumption enough to share, and a girl on a mission, her country to spare. This trio has plenty to teach us about being the best we can be.
Black Dog By Levi Pinfold A black cat crossing your path is bad enough, but imagine, if you will, a dark pooch on the loose in your neck of the woods. That’s the setup for “Black Dog,” by Levi Pinfold, a fantastical story with equally clever illustrations. It’s a snowy, gray night when Mr. Hope sees a strange black dog about the size of a tiger outside. What’s a dad to do? Call the police, of course, who
advise with a laugh, “Don’t go outside.” Mrs. Hope spots the mongrel next. Shocked she drops her teacup. The dog has grown to the size of an elephant, a phenomenon that continues as each of the Hope children catch a glimpse of the beast. Only Small Hope has been spared the scene. To her family’s surprise, she marches outside. Rather than being afraid, she tackles the hairy problem head on. With a song on her lips, and a zip in her step, the plucky tyke reduces the situation to manageable size. Sometimes courage comes in small packages. Continued on next page
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Sophia’s War, A Tale of the Revolution
Continued from previous page
By Avi
Noah Webster & His Words By Jeri Chase Ferris Seize the day — set your mind to doing what you want and forge ahead. There’s plenty of gumption in “Noah Webster & His Words,” by Jeri Chase Ferris. Born in Connecticut in 1758, Noah had oodles of confidence. What he didn’t have was a passion for farming, a fact that stuck in his dad’s craw like chewing gum to a gym floor. Hardheaded Noah wasn’t going to have any of plowing and planting. He wanted to use his brain and go to college. That cost money — and his dad footed the bill, with the thought in mind that Noah would pay him back. That never happened because the Revolutionary War broke out, but Noah didn’t fight. He put his book learning to practice and became a teacher. In those days, no one had heard of a dictionary. In fact, with the birth of America, lots of new words were being used, with no consistent spellings. Noah thought that was a crying shame. He set to work writing the “blue-backed speller,” and eventually compiled his “American Dictionary of the English Language.” It wasn’t an easy task — in fact, it turned out to be Noah’s life work. His dictionary wasn’t published until 1828, when Noah was 70. He ages quite well in this book about stick-to-itiveness, entertainingly illustrated by Vincent X. Kirsch.
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Prolific author Avi scores again with a patriotic flag waver that centers on our nation’s fight for freedom. Get set to burn the midnight oil with “Sophia’s War, A Tale of the Revolution.” Sophia Calderwood is just an ordinary girl living in New York City when the Revolutionary War begins in 1776. Her beloved brother is off fighting with the patriots. Who knows if he’s dead or alive? Hangings are common in the city as the British tighten their hold on citizens and demand their alliance. Her brother might be dead or have been taken prisoner, subjected to horrors at the hands of cruel guards and housed in deplorable conditions. Under threat of grave danger, Sophia and her father promote the patriotic cause, but in secret because they’ve been forced to take in a guest — a higher-up with the British army, a dashing young man that Sophia becomes attracted to, full well knowing he’s the enemy, yet falling victim to his charms. Ashamed of her feelings, Sophia proceeds with her undercover activities and agrees to serve as a spy, gathering information from the officer and finally uncovering a plot that could spell disaster for America. Based on an actual event, and peopled with real historical figures “Sophia’s War” features an admirable girl with grit who does the right thing, despite her heart. Reprinted with permission. Missourian Publishing Co. Copyright 2012.