Air& Surface DECONTAMINATION
RISK MANAGEMENT FOR YOUR OWN SANITY
A
Beth Krah
s I am writing this, the Queen is being laid to rest, the disastrous effects of September 11th are still fresh on our minds, and our son is desperately trying to reach a friend who texted a suicide note to him in the middle of the night. On the global scale - the live feed announces its Final Farewell to Queen Elizabeth. The world mourns, and she will be missed deeply. More locally - ever since the attacks from 9-11, America has been in mourning. Some are already forgetting, but we never will. We mourn the loss of loved ones from the attacks and from rescue efforts. We continue to grapple with losing many of our close friends and family as they fall victim to cancer. On a personal level, you may continuously question your selfworth - mourning the loss of who you once were and that haunting emotional distress that may never go away. Have you become a shell of the vibrant hero you appeared to be early in your career as you put on a façade of confidence and strength yet silently wither away inside? Our son woke up to a string of texts from a friend several states away mentioning suicide, how he would do it, and a lot of details that had our son not had his phone on silent, he would’ve read at 3 am. He couldn’t get through to his friend and eventually reached the local PD to do a well-check. After an hour of going back and forth with the suicide prevention hotline, 911, and the local PD, he finally got a call from his friend barking, “You called the cops on me??” He didn’t remember sending the texts, and of course, he’s “fine.” He shouted back, “What do you think I’m gonna do when you send texts like that?!” Some may cry out, and we listen and support them. But far too many aren’t saying a peep as it’s not proper in a “suck it up Buttercup” world. It takes much more strength and guts to admit you’re struggling with your thought process than to ignore it all, trust me. In the previous issue, Capt. Dena Ali (Raleigh FD) wrote about therapy being awesome and how to find the proper fit in a therapist or counselor. If you’ve not read it, please do – it’s incredibly important to have a solid support system around you as you deal with the public and their worst day ever – every single day. I was fortunate enough to find someone who was perfect for me, albeit in Colorado. We Zoomed every few weeks until I was able to move past some things that were significantly interfering with my work and personal psyche. She had me do a
few exercises to nail down the lies I was telling myself, and I was able to bounce back better than ever. Those burdens were weighing so heavy on me that I ended up in the hospital… a few times. Nervous about how my health was declining, I finally reached out to a friend who recommended someone, and I can’t tell you how freeing that was. Yes, definitely worth it! NON-INTIMIDATING COPING MECHANISMS (FOR NOW) If you’re backed into a corner and defensive about seeking a professional or just can’t seem to get out of bed, there are some things you can do until you’re ready to talk to a professional. 1. Verbalize in Private: Just verbalizing what happens each day (out loud) and what impact it may have had on your outlook makes a big difference in how we handle the constant barrage of worst days. If you’re shy about talking to someone else, start with your dog. That faithful best friend will not judge you, look down on you or call you weak, and this will aid in allowing you to process the day’s events so you can more readily handle the following day. 2. Be careful what you listen to: What lies are you telling yourself? Are you getting on your own case for struggling like you are, or are you able to look in the mirror and realize the amazing gift you are to so many people? Feed yourself the truth, and if you’re having a tough time trying to figure out what that
32 | CAROLINA FIRE RESCUE EMS JOURNAL | FALL 2022
is, ask those who know you best. I am constantly amazed at the gap between what I tell myself vs. the truth others tell me. I’m trying harder to believe them. Dr. Seuss said it best: To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.1 Know your worth – it’s a hell of a lot more than you may think. 2. Reaching out before signs appear: About 80% of PTSD issues show up before PTSD does. Ask your crew how things are going and build that camaraderie on the front end so it’s easier to talk on the back end. For me, it’s easier to get others to open up when I reveal the vulnerabilities in my own life (and I’m much more screwed up than
they are), and we start to build a more solid friendship grounded in trust, vulnerability, and the freedom to be oneself. It’s tough to just listen when you want to fix the problem. But the idea of having someone in your corner just to listen to you ramble can make all the difference in the world. I can’t figure out issues unless I verbalize them. The process of talking it out allows me to work through it better, and I often figure out the solution before the other person has a chance to respond. I thank them, they look puzzled, and we move on. Good chat. Some of us hesitate to be vulnerable because we assume that means exposing our “secrets.” We assume that being vulnerable means
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