37 minute read
Things
SUMMER CAMP GUIDE, PGS. 26-37
FEATURES
MARCH
2021
IN EVERY ISSUE
10 Date Night 12 Craft Corner 14 Dear Teachers 16 5 Things 17 Word from Dad 18 Ask the Experts 20 Tasty Treats
SPECIAL SECTIONS
26 Camp Guide 54 Spring Break 2021 58 Calendar of Events
22
Teacher’s Favorite
Tips on how to improve a child-teacher relationship.
42
Pet Ownership
Benefits of owning pets for kids with special needs.
54
Spring Break
Great ideas for a spring break staycation in KC.
ON THE COVER
Camp Guide 26 How Healthy Is Your Home? 46 Help Kids Become Problem Solvers 50 Taming the Tattletale 52
Our cover features Sam from Kansas City. Photo by Melissa Rieke Photography. MelissaRiekePhotography.com
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HELP KIDS BECOME GREAT
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KC Parent is giving away 10 FAMILY 4-PACKS
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Details and to enter, visit KCParent.com For years, and even to this day, my girls would tell you that I love to run the vacuum. They make it sound as if it’s my favorite hobby and something I dearly enjoy. As I always point out to them, I don’t love to vacuum, but I do love clean floors. And it’s true—I do run the vacuum daily and I do ask that people take their shoes off when entering our home. And we may own a large number of mops and Swiffer products. But all of that just helps with my goal of clean floors. In a similar vein, I like to regularly clean out the refrigerator. Again, not because I think it’s fun, but because I like the end result. Keeping your home clean can help it be a healthy home. Judy Goppert takes a look on pg. 46 at other small things to do around the house to keep it clean and healthy!
Having favorites is human nature. Favorite foods, colors, places to visit, hobbies, clothes, etc., etc. One place where parents need to make an effort to not have a favorite is when it comes to kids. My girls like to ask, “Who is your favorite?” to which I reply, “The dog.” It can be tricky, because there are days when one child acts up and another child doesn’t. It can be easy to have a favorite (and it can change day to day), but the goal is to recognize when you may be favoring one child and to stop it. Lauren Greenlee has great suggestions on how to keep from playing favorites on pg. 40.
It’s March, and soon grass will be getting greener, temps will rise and, before you know it, summer will be here! Our March issue contains our annual Summer Camp Guide. Check it out and make plans today for the best summer ever!
Happy March, Kansas City!
Margaret Sarver, Editor
MARCH 2021
Publisher Michael Gimotty Michael@KCParent.com Associate Publisher Darrell Dean Darrell@KCParent.com Editor Margaret Sarver Margaret@KCParent.com Art Director Kim Tappan Tappan Design Kim@KCParent.com Advertising Sales Debbie Clark Debbie@KCParent.com Darrell Dean Darrell@KCParent.com Digital Media Manager Kristina Light Kristina@KCParent.com Digital Media Intern Anna Hiestand Copy Editor Susan Crainshaw Susan@KCParent.com Distribution To be added to our distribution list, e-mail Distribution@KCParent.com
LOCAL CONTENT
Local Contributing Writers Kim Antisdel (Liberty), Christian Barnes (Kansas City), Bill Bartlett (Belton), Hannah Berry (Kansas City), Janelle Cumro-Sultzer (Overland Park), Judy Goppert (Lee’s Summit), Lauren Greenlee (Olathe), Amy Hundley (Olathe), Gina Klein (Kansas City), Kristina Light (Kansas City), Sarah Lyons (Olathe), Christa Melnyk Hines (Olathe), Emily Morrison (Independence), Jessica Samuel (Kansas City), Tori Sarver (Lenexa) Mailing Address 11936 W. 119th #335, Overland Park, KS 66213 913.782.3238 phone • 913.681.5139 fax
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Even More Local Parenting Information, Articles, Events and Surprises
SPOTLIGHT
SPRING BREAK
It’s time to plan for spring break and that means many terrific family fun outings, great classes for Kansas City kids and special spring break programs. Visit KCParent.com for your guide to have the best spring break ever!
LABOR & DELIVERY GUIDE
Choosing the best hospital for the arrival of your baby is an important decision. Use the KCParent.com Labor & Delivery Hospital Guide to find the perfect location for you and your child.
SEARCH KCPARENT.COM FOR MORE AFFORDABLE FUN IDEAS:
1. Best of March
2. Calendar of Events
3. St. Patrick’s Day Fun
4. Best Parks in KC
5. Party Guide
6. Indoor Play Venues
7. KC Going Places Guide
8. Easter Egg Hunts
9. Kids Eat FREE
10. Virtual Camp Guide
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DATES WITH LETTER Q
Are you on a “Quest” for great date ideas? If so, why not try one of these?
THE QUEEN
The Queen is an excellent movie from 2006 that my husband and I recently watched. Academy Award-winner Helen Mirren plays Queen Elizabeth II and does a spectacular and flawless job. The movie begins with Tony Blair being elected the new prime minister in 1997, followed by the sudden death of Princess Diana in a car accident about four months later. What unfolds is several stories in one and is a chronicle of the week following the princess’s death. It’s a history of the private life of the royal family and their longheld traditions. It’s a story of the British people and their love for the princess. And it’s a tale about the struggle between the prime minister and the queen on how to handle Diana’s death and funeral. We highly recommend this film, especially if you know very little about the royal family. It was superb from start to finish.
Q39 BARBECUE
Kansas City is, of course, known for great barbecue, and one place that has made a name for itself in a short time is Q39. Some of the best-known barbecue joints have been around for decades, but Q39 just opened in 2014 and is often listed in the top five barbecue restaurants in the city. We have been there a few times, but our most recent visit was by far my favorite. I had the barbecue veggie burger, which has a white bean and lemon base, topped with barbecue sauce, provolone and onion strings. I loved it! I also enjoyed some of their baked beans. My husband settled on the combo plate with brisket, pulled pork and smoked chicken with beans and steamed veggies. He had no trouble cleaning his plate of deliciousness.
THE BOOK OF QUESTIONS
The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock was originally written in 1987 and then updated in 2013. My husband and I have quizzed each other through this entire book. From the slightly mundane and silly to the downright serious and thought-provoking, there is a question in here that is guaranteed to get the conversation going—as well as some that will make you think twice. For example...For $100,000, would you put on 40 pounds and keep it on for three years? What is the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done? If you had to either change professions or move to another part of the country, which would you choose? These are just a few of the approximately 300 questions in this book. Now, truthfully, the questions are hit or miss. Some will resonate with you, some will not, and some are just a little bit out there. But you can skip over the ones you don’t care for—like we did—and still get plenty of good use out of it.
Hannah Berry is a freelance writer who lives with her husband in Kansas City. They enjoy regular date nights and love trying new restaurants and activities.
FOR GREAT DATE NIGHT IDEAS STARTING WITH A-P, HEAD TO KCPARENT.COM!
giant rainbow
Want a fun and easy way to celebrate St. Patty’s Day? Why not make a giant rainbow using everyday kitchen utensils such as a meat chopper or potato masher? This simple craft is a fun way to use household objects in a new way! Step one: Plan out the size of paper you need in relation to the size of the kitchen utensil you will be using. For larger utensils, you will want a larger piece of paper. A cheap and easy jumbo canvas can be the inside of wrapping paper. Step two: Set out white paper (taping down sides might make it easier). Step three: Pour each color of the rainbow onto a paper plate or paint dish, one color at a time. Step four: Use your chosen utensil to stamp out a line in the rainbow. Step five: Wash and dry your utensil between each color. Step six: Use your chosen utensil to stamp out another line in the rainbow. Step seven: Wash and dry your utensil between each color.
Janelle Cumro-Sultzer lives in Overland Park with her husband, son and two dogs. Janelle is a former health care executive director and is a mediator in Kansas, helping families in conflict. Janelle loves to focus on learning through play and getting messy with crafts.
Shamrock Windsocks Sprinkle Slime Shamrock Suncatcher
For TONS more great craft projects, log onto KCParent.com!
Materials needed:
• White paper • Assorted paints • Paper plates or paint dishes • Kitchen utensil such as a meat chopper or potato masher • Optional: tape or something to hold down the sides of the paper
4 S.T.E.M. Outings in KC
1The Linda Hall Library of Science, Engineering and
Technology is a research library, home to a beautiful 14-acre arboretum and a facilitator of amazing online resources for S.T.E.M. learners. The library is not your traditional local library with stacks of books to explore; rather, expert librarians help researchers discover materials among their thousands of volumes to work on projects. The grounds surrounding the library are home to a beautiful 14-acre arboretum that is free and open to the public. The grounds are especially lovely in the spring and autumn and are a favorite place for exercise, quiet respite, dog walks, photographers and nature lovers. This is a great place to enjoy a beautiful green space in the heart of the city. In addition to the physical library, Linda Hall Library offers other fantastic resources for S.T.E.M. learners. Specifically, their online exhibitions and their “How Do I Become ____?” Series are wonderful for young people! Visit LindaHall.org to learn more.
2Cedar Cove Feline Sanctuary offers tours of their facility devoted to the care and preservation of endangered large cats to educate the public on their behavior, physiology, habitats and the threats and dangers of extinction. Keepers at Cedar Cove are educated and trained in the care of large exotic felines. Visit SaveOurSiberians.org for information.
3Gottlieb Planetarium is housed in Union Station and offers spectacular public shows and night sky viewing opportunities. The 60-foot dome makes it one of the largest planetariums in the Midwest. This is a great add-on to a visit to Science City. Visit UnionStaiton.org for information.
4Richard L. Sutton Jr., MD, Museum of Geosciences
at UMKC displays a collection of cephalopods (squidlike ocean dwellers), crinoids and fluid inclusions (rocks containing liquids). An interactive feature allows viewers to tip one such specimen of clear quartz to watch the trapped primordial water move. These and countless other mineral and fossil specimens are available for viewing by the public. For more information visit cas.UMKC.edu/geosciences/ opportunities/geosciences-museum.
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BY PEGGY GISLER AND MARGE EBERTS
CHILD SIMPLY DOES NOT GET PHONICS
QUESTION: My second
grader simply can’t sound out most new words; however, she is a very good reader. You can tell her what a word is, or she figures it out through context. Her teacher’s reaction is: “Some kids just won’t get phonics.” This remark bothered me. Is it important for my child to become more skilled with phonics? – Good Reader
ANSWER: Children learn to read in different ways. Your daughter is a sight reader. This is the way children were taught to read years ago. It would be helpful if your daughter could use phonics to recognize the first sound in unknown words as it would make it easier for her to use context in recognizing them. While she may never be great at phonics, it is highly probable that she has some knowledge of phonics simply through her ability to read so well.
LOWERING STRESS AT SCHOOL
QUESTION: My second-
grade daughter is anxious and stressed every day in school. I feel that this is affecting her academic growth. How can I help her to relax in the school environment? – Scared
ANSWER: You definitely want your daughter to have a more positive learning experience. It is time to get an appointment with her teacher and school counselor, who should have some solid ideas about how to turn this situation around before third grade. An investigation should tell everyone what is causing the anxiety and stress. Could it be the schoolwork or related to her classmates?
The answer could be as simple as getting her some tools like a stress ball, having her chew gum or allowing her to sit on an exercise ball – techniques she could use to calm herself and get her mind in a different place.
INCREASING VOCABULARY TRICKS
QUESTION: My son currently is in
fourth grade. How can he increase his vocabulary? – Needs Words
ANSWER: Children pick up new words and their meanings in two major ways, through listening and through reading. Starting in fourth grade, new and unfamiliar vocabulary is introduced in all subjects, especially science and social studies, building a foundation for future learning.
Mastery of these words is absolutely essential to understanding the material. This task is much easier for the good listeners in every classroom. Children who don’t listen in class are always playing catch-up in learning vocabulary.
Building children’s vocabulary does not just occur at school, though. The more you talk to your children, no matter what their age, the larger their vocabularies will be, because parents use far more challenging words than children’s peers. We doubt that we have to sell you on the advantages of having a good vocabulary, from higher grades and standardized test scores now, to future college admission tests.
Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com or to the Dear Teacher website.
The starting point for a healthy smile.
Owner John P. Roth DDS and family Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry Specialist in Orthodontics Locations:
OVERLAND PARK
913-553-2492
LEGENDS
913-948-8688
LEAWOOD NEW
913-491-5044
StartingPointDental.com
Nail Buff
Years ago, I was suckered into one of those mall kiosks to buy a nail kit. I’m not sure why—it was a weak moment. Anyway, I bought the entire kit, but what I loved most from it was the block used to buff out my nails. I had worn it down and needed a new one and, after a short search, found the Tweezerman Neon Hot 4-in-1 File, Smooth & Shine Block. It is perfect! And the best part is that it comes with replacement pads, so it’s sure to last a long time! Amazon.com
Anxious People
I’ve written in this space about Fredrick Bachman’s debut novel, A Man Called Ove. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend you do. Once you finish, pick up his most recent, Anxious People. It starts out a bit dreary and depressing, but by the end you’ll be eager to reread it to discover everything you missed the first time. I’m currently reading another of Bachman’s titles, My Grandmother Said to Tell You She’s Sorry. I’ll report back after I finish!
5THINGS WE LOVE RIGHT NOW
Compiled by Margaret Sarver
Sweet Foam
I’m strictly a hot coffee gal, but the rest of my family enjoys both the hot and cold varieties. I was introduced to a cold/ sweet foam topping by my younger who often orders that atop her iced beverage. She enjoys making coffee treats at home, so I was thrilled when I saw that Reddi-wip had sweet foam in a can! Now the fancy coffee shop topping can be added to any at-home concoction. It is sweet, as the name implies, but a fun addition to your morning drink! Available at local retailers.
ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST
Face Wash
I was out of my usual facewash and, in a pinch, grabbed some from my girls’ bathroom. It worked as well as my more expensive wash, didn’t aggravate my sensitive skin and is a fraction of the cost! I’ve become a convert and now buy my own Simple facewash. Now, the moisturizer didn’t nourish my more-maturethan-a-teen’s skin as well as I like, so I’ve stuck with my tried-and-true, but the facewash is a winner! If you’re looking for a good wash at a reasonable price, give Simple a try! Available at local retailers.
YouTube Show
For the most part, I watch TV the old-fashioned way. I flip through the channels and usually find something to watch. My girls are much savvier than I am and stream the majority of what they watch. My older told me about the series Open Door on the Architectural Digest YouTube channel, and it’s a fun, breezy and short watch that looks inside celebrity homes—with the celebrity homeowners giving the tours themselves. For something fun to watch, check it out! YouTube.com
the march dilemma
“Dad, there’s nothing to do.” Ian threw himself onto the sofa, the very picture of dejection.
“Why don’t you go outside?”
“Too cold.”
“How about some baseball?”
“Nobody wants to play in weather like this.” He peered around the drapes. Solid, low clouds and dormant grass did nothing to lighten the Saturday morning or Ian’s mood. “What did you do on days like this when you were little?”
I leaned back in my chair. “March is tough. Temperatures can get below freezing, but there’s no snow, and spring feels like it’s months away.”
A fond memory drifted through my mind. “My parents wouldn’t let March stop them. One time, Dad made a bunch of hamburger patties while mom cored apples, filled them with cinnamon candy, and wrapped them in aluminum foil.”
Ian sat upright and stared at me. “What did you do then?”
“They took us out for a picnic. We bundled up and drove to the park. Once there, we had our pick of the tables, and Dad sent us out to get sticks for the fire. My sisters were too little to help, so my two brothers and I brought back a boatload.”
I studied the skies through the picture window. “A leftover snowbank in the shade chilled our bottles of soda, and, after the fire burned down, Mom put the apples in the coals while Dad cooked the burgers. We climbed in the rocks and boulders until everything was ready.”
Ian slouched back on the couch. “Then what?”
“A funny thing happened. The sun came out and warmed things up. We ate hamburgers, chips, cottage cheese and steaming baked beans, all washed down with snow-cold soda. And, for dessert, cinnamon apples, fresh from the fire.”
“Sandi?” I rose from my chair. “Feel like going on a picnic?”
Want More in Life?
Here’s a way to experience the joy of parenthood and help children
4,000 Kansas City area children are in crisis due to child abuse, neglect or other family challenges. The need for new foster and adoptive parents is greater than ever.
Whether you are single or married, own or rent your home, have children already or don’t, work full-time or stay home, you may qualify. We provide free training, 24/7 support, and monthly reimbursement to meet the child’s needs.
Contact us to learn more. (888) 655-5500 | www.kvckansas.org
MEET THE EXPERTS
We have a wide range of experts on hand to answer your questions on everything from dental visits and playdates to dance lessons, lawns and so much more! If you have a question that needs answering, get in touch.
Christine Khong, MD
ADVENTHEALTH AdventHealth Shawnee Mission’s pediatricians and primary care providers offer compassionate, expert care for children of all ages. Find a provider at AdventHealthKC.com.
Cheryl A. Lang
MCPL Mid-Continent Public Library has 33 branches and serves more than 816,000 residents across Jackson, Clay and Platte counties, offering resources and services for all ages. 816.836.5200, MyMCPL.org
John P. Roth, DDS
STARTING POINT PEDIATRIC DENTISTRY AND ORTHODONICS Starting Point Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics specializes in giving kids the care and special consideration they need for successful dental care. 913.553.2492, StartingPointDental.com
Melissa Rieke
MELISSA RIEKE PHOTOGRAPHY Hello! I’m Melissa Rieke…wife, mom, Kansas City newborn photographer, blogger and influencer. MRP is a custom photography studio with a focus on newborns, children and family. 913.488.5125, MelissaRiekePhotography.com
ASK THE EXPERTS...If you have a question, send it our way and we’ll ask one of our experts to answer. Email editor@kcparent.com and put “Ask the Experts” in the subject line. As always, please consult your health care provider with any medical questions or concerns.
Q
My daughter has eczema. What’s best to help with the itching?
Avoid dry skin! This will help with the itching. Her skin should be moisturized often – ideally two to three times a day. The best time to apply moisturizer is after a bath or shower, with the skin gently patted dry. Moisturize with oilbased products such as ointments (like petroleum jelly) and creams, instead of lotions. Kids should take short baths or showers in warm – not hot – water. Use mild, unscented soaps. Wear soft clothes that are breathable such as those made from cotton. Sometimes anti-allergy medicine is needed at bedtime to help itchy kids sleep better at night. Talk to your doctor to ask whether topical corticosteroids, oatmeal soaking products and/or bleach baths are needed. Christine Khong, MD
Family Medicine AdventHealth Medical Group Primary Care at Prairie Village
Q
Help! My child has bad breath. What can I do?
This is a fairly common concern. In fact, a study published in Pediatric Dentistry showed that 23 percent of young children have halitosis (bad breath). The most common things that cause bad breath are tongue coating, gingivitis (inflammation of the gums) and tooth decay. Bad breath is simply the result of bacteria in the mouth breaking down sugars. Cavities are caused by these same bacteria. Brushing with a fluoride toothpaste can protect your children from cavities and will alleviate their bad breath. Make sure your kids brush their teeth and their tongues thoroughly. A good habit to get into is to brush for two minutes twice a day. John P. Roth
Starting Point Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics
Q
I’m interested in tracing my family’s genealogy. What’s a good way to get started?
The starting point in any family history research project is to first determine what details you know. The Midwest Genealogy Center provides downloadable forms that you can print at home. You can also ask older relatives to help fill in the blanks. Document their stories using a Tell Me A Story oral history kit available for checkout from MGC or reserving online for pickup at any Mid-Continent Public Library branch. The next step is to take a Genealogy 101 class through Universal Class or start using online genealogy resources on the library’s website like MyHeritage.com and others to find out more information. The Midwest Genealogy Center in Independence is open seven days a week to provide advice. Visit MyMCPL.org/FamilyHistory for more information. Cheryl A. Lang, MLS
Midwest Genealogy Center Manager
Q
What are two pro tips in planning wardrobe choices for family photos?
Texture and balance. When choosing outfits for family photos it is important to create balance. Try to keep everyone in the same depth of color. Darks and lights can be hard to balance in camera. Mix up the looks: pants, dresses, skirts, jackets. If going for a monochrome look, be sure to mix lots of textures. Options are always great. If you aren’t sure, bring them and ask your photographer what looks best. Moms with little ones, it is best to keep your look simple. You will be picking up babies, they will be crawling on you and you will be in motion. An outfit with too much fuss makes getting the shot harder. My best wardrobe tip is to pick Mom’s outfit first and go from there. Melissa Rieke
Melissa Rieke Photography
eat right, bite by bite
Open wide because March is National Nutrition Month! The annual education month focuses on the importance of making knowledgeable food choices and developing key health and wellness habits.
Eating a healthy and nutritious diet can easily seem overwhelming, especially if you don’t know where to start. A good place to begin is with the MyPlate dietary guidelines, set forth by the USDA. Meals and snacks that follow these guidelines will help provide the fuel and food your kids need.
fruits and vegetables
These natural nutritious gems provide megadoses of vitamins and minerals needed for growth and maintenance. Aim to get 1-2 cups of fruit and 1-3 cups of veggies per day. HOW? Serve a glass of 100 percent fruit juice at breakfast and keep a bowl of bananas, apples or clementines on the kitchen counter for a quick snack. Individual containers of applesauce, mixed fruit and raisins are easy to carry and pack in a lunch. Opt to bake and cook with fruit. For instance, add bananas to pancake batter or top ice cream with mixed fruit. Now, on to those veggies. Sauté spinach, tomatoes and onions to serve in a breakfast omelet. Incorporate grated carrots, cherry tomatoes and slices of avocado in a green salad. Or offer cucumbers, celery sticks and bell peppers with nut butter and crackers for an afternoon snack.
whole grains
Grains provide an excellent source of fiber and B vitamins needed for energy. Depending on age, gender and activity levels, your kiddos require three to eight servings of grains a day. HOW? Offer whole-wheat toast at breakfast and use whole-wheat bread for making sandwiches. Try brown rice and wholewheat pasta for side dishes and dinners. You can experiment with grains, too. Deb, a Lenexa mom of three boys under the age of 14, says, “I use whole wheat flour when making waffles and cookies, and my kids love them!” Finally, snacks can be as simple as offering popcorn or whole-grain crackers and cheese.
protein
Your child needs strength and fuel to grow, so, depending on your child’s health needs, a good rule of thumb is to include three to eight servings of protein per day. HOW? Variety here is key. Think chicken, beef, fish, turkey and vegetarian options such as tofu and beans. Start with an egg a day. Hard boil eggs in advance for the week to add in at breakfast, pack in lunches, or for a strong and mighty snack. When making sandwiches, choose lean roast beef and ham. Veggie or salmon burgers for dinner are a great opportunity to increase your child’s taste buds. For more plantbased options, try tofu scrambles at breakfast, hummus with pita bread for a snack, bean enchiladas at lunch and chili with beans for dinner.
dairy
Kids need their bones, muscles and tendons in good condition, and having two to three servings of dairy each day will help meet their calcium and vitamin D needs. HOW? Simply offer milk or soymilk at all meals and snacks. Breakfast can be as easy as oatmeal or cereal with milk and adding a cup of yogurt. Simple snacks are a cup of creamy yogurt, cottage cheese or a few string cheese sticks. Add flavor to wraps at lunch with shredded cheese or top off creamy pasta dinner dishes with melted cheese. Dessert can be delicious with a yogurt-filled smoothie.
Amy Hundley is a registered dietitian nutritionist, licensed in both Kansas and Missouri, and a published freelance nutrition writer. She is currently practicing as a clinical RD and has been a resident of Olathe since early childhood. Sources: EatRight.org, USDA
teacher’s pet or peeve:
how to handle your child’s position in class
teachers do their level best to make certain each of their students is treated fairly. In fact, the idea that a teacher would favor or slight a student is likely in the top hits of an instructor’s no-no list.
But this is real life. As parents, we cannot expect our children’s’ teachers to get along swimmingly with every student that walks in their doors (or signs onto their Zoom class). Without realizing it, teachers may tend to gravitate to students who help make their job easier. And despite the best intentions, personalities can clash.
Teachers—especially in these times—are looking for any way to make the path to knowledge a little less resistant. They search out help in any way they can get it, and they focus on reducing hindrances that prevent the class from moving forward.
So what do you do when your child falls into a precarious position of teacher’s pet or teacher’s peeve? Here are a few tips:
If you discover your child is not engaging with her teacher the way you had hoped, don’t immediately dismay. Take a breath and take stock of the situation to know how to best move forward.
Is this a pattern? If there haven’t been issues in the past, this could be an instance where your child—or the teacher—had an off day. No one is perfect, and your child is bound to make a mistake or two. Hear your child’s side of the story with an empathetic yet discerning ear and express compassion. Make a note of the incident and how it was handled. Then, unless it was an egregious situation, let it lie. Avoid overreaction. We all want to protect our children from unfair treatment, but resist the urge to call in the cavalry because your child feels slighted one or twice. Understand that the story you’re getting is colored by your child and her very big feelings, especially if she isn’t used to being “in trouble.” This isn’t to say you should immediately discount a negative incident. But remember, you are the adult. Stay calm and keep a level head. Make a plan. If a pattern begins to develop, and you sense an exaggerated negative slant toward your child, it’s time to go to the source. Spoiler alert: That’s the teacher, not the principal. Establish a time when you and the teacher can speak privately. Use that time to share your child’s feelings and your notes. You are the advocate, and your child needs you to express in a grown-up way what’s happening. This means leaving assumptions and bad attitudes at the door. It won’t—and can’t—be fair all the time. Teachers have an incredibly difficult task at hand. They must dole out attention, care, concern and time to many bodies all at once. Understand that though your child’s previous teacher may have had an extra bit of affinity for him, the new teacher may not. It does not mean your child is being slighted; he is just receiving an adjusted balance of care according to that teacher’s unique personality. Know when it goes deeper. There may be a situation when your child and her teacher genuinely do not relate with each other. Although a lack of connection is acceptable and likely inevitable, your child should never be singled out or receive demoralizing treatment because of a personality conflict. If a one-on-one doesn’t resolve the issue, you must call in reinforcements. Set up a meeting with the principal and include the teacher. Going behind a teacher’s back to enact a change will only make things much worse. The teacher, the principal, your child and you all want an appropriate resolution. Get there together. Don’t ignore your gut. History has taught us there can be an occasional bad apple of a teacher. Do not second guess your intuition if something truly feels off. If you feel your child (and other children) are truly being mistreated physically or emotionally, take steps. Use your common sense and first-hand knowledge to do so appropriately with facts and documented instances.
It sounds like a dream come true. The teacher gives your child rave reviews and couldn’t be happier with his performance. Although this sounds like the best-case scenario, bear in mind that others may not appreciate this special relationship. For other students in the class, a child who receives such praise and warmth could be perceived as a threat, and your child could even be teased for falling into favor.
Make your child aware. It’s completely acceptable to praise your child for earning a special place in the teacher’s heart. Explain that it is fantastic to do well but advise him to avoid bragging about it with others. Teach your child to be gracious and kind to others who might be struggling with the teacher.
Let them lead by example. Your child is in the unique position to be the eyes and ears for the teacher. Perhaps he notices a fellow student is being bullied and therefore acts out. Encourage him to speak privately to the teacher about what he’s witnessing. The teacher will appreciate the insight, and the child being bullied will almost certainly appreciate the newly acquired understanding from the teacher.
Don’t let them slip to fit in. Some children might consider actively trying to get in trouble, so they won’t be the teacher’s pet. This is a difficult line to toe. Teach your child to ignore it if someone calls him out for being the favorite. Over time, it will likely die down.
WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S POSITION IN THE CLASSROOM:
Overcommunicate – Although you shouldn’t spam the teacher’s inbox, a bi-weekly check-in to share how your child is working to improve his performance will be welcomed. After all, teachers love to see students make an effort!
Hold up your end – We’ve all forgotten to sign a grade card or failed to bring cupcakes on the appointed day. Understand that repeated instances of these oversights can reflect negatively on your child, even if it’s unintentional. Do your best to make sure your child is up to speed on all tasks and papers each week. Can’t buy their love – Teachers won’t be bought. They have the relationship daily with your child, not you. Don’t expect a teacher to overlook bad behavior because you had your kid bring a Starbucks gift card. Encourage your child to improve the relationship by behaving, listening and participating. Buy the gift card afterward.
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and son.
10 TIPS
to raise a skilled communicator in the digital age
In a world ever distracted by dinging devices, children who develop a wellrounded set of communication skills will stand out in the digital-focused crowd.
“We have so many different ways to communicate that kids are going to need to be well-versed in as many as possible to be successful,” says Sarah L. Cook, co-author of The Parents’ Guide to Raising CEO Kids.
Thanks to social media, today’s kids have the ability to access an extensive social network. But, missing from those online interactions are the subtle nonverbal cues that enrich our face-to-face interactions, like tone, voice inflection and facial expressions, which can change the entire meaning of a statement. Some experts warn that too much reliance on technology to communicate can impair a child’s ability to read nonverbal cues.
“We have to make a conscious effort to insist on face-to-face socializing because it would be so easy for kids to rely more and more on screen interactions,” says Michael Osit, a child psychologist and author of Generation Text: Raising Well-Adjusted Kids in the Age of Instant Everything. “As long as parents and educators continue to involve kids in face-to-face social groups, classroom interactions and family interactions, we can preserve their ability to function in social real time.”
Talk to your kids. From the time your children can talk, ask open-ended questions and listen to their answers. “What was the best part of your day? Why?” Share your thoughts, too. Not only will this practice help their speech and listening abilities, they will learn the back and forth nuances of conversation.
Model appropriate social interaction.
Children learn how to interact with friends, family, store employees and strangers by following your lead.
“Be careful about subtle messages such as how [you] incorporate texting, emailing and social networking in interpersonal relationships,” Osit advises.
For example, put your phone aside when your child is talking to you and when interacting with a cashier or restaurant server. Make eye contact and show courtesy toward the other person to help your children learn that the person standing in front of them is the greater priority at the moment.
Pass the mic. Family meetings and meals are great ways to touch base with your busy family. Cook suggests putting each member of the family in charge of a different part of the meeting. For example, one child could begin the meeting by reciting an inspiring poem or scripture while another wraps the meeting with a joke, prayer or song.
Use teachable moments. Discuss social interactions that you and your kids see on TV programs, online or in real life.
For example, “When you are walking in the mall and you observe kids interacting inappropriately or disrespectfully to an adult, point it out. Ask your child what he thinks about that behavior and help him evaluate it as appropriate or inappropriate,” Osit says.
Listen. Encourage your kids to share their feelings about peers (including those they aren’t friends with) and adults, like teachers and coaches.
“Parents can shape and enhance their child’s social skills on an ongoing basis,” Osit says.
Pick up the phone. Kids can learn to order a pizza or call the dentist to schedule an appointment for themselves.
“I’ve encouraged my kids that if they want to have a playdate, they can call their friend’s parent, and I’ll be there to jump on the phone to back them up,” Cook says. “When they take on more roles that parents typically handle, that allows them to feel confident talking to adults, which is often scary for kids.”
Place an order. Before the server approaches at a restaurant, help your child narrow down what to order from the menu. Even preschoolers can politely request a glass of milk or water.
Make a purchase at the store. Next time your child wants to spend some of his allowance or gift money, have him conduct the transaction with the cashier. Be there to support him but allow him to take the lead.
Use video technology. If you travel, call home using Skype or Facetime, or use the apps to connect with relatives. Your kids will grow more comfortable talking on a camera. You can also use birthdays, the first day of school, the holidays or just random moments to interview your kids on your video camera.
Seek interactive activities. Scouting, theater and 4-H give children many opportunities to develop presentation and leadership skills. Also, encourage your child to participate in class plays, musicals and show and tell.
Like anything, the more we practice our communication skills, the better
they become and the less anxious we are about managing different situations. Empower your children with the skills to communicate in a variety of situations, and watch them rise to opportunities that come their way with poise and confidence.
Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines and her husband are the parents of two boys. She is the author of Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.
The amount of time children ages 0 to 8 spend with screen devices has tripled in the past three years to a little over two hours a day. 1
Tweens, ages 8 to 12, spend an average of five hours a day using screen media. Watching online videos is the most popular activity in this age group. 2
Teens, ages 13 to 18, use screen media an average of seven-and-a-half hours a day not including time for school or homework. 3
1 2017 The Common Sense Census: Media Use by Kids 0-8 2 2019 Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens 3 2019 Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens
