Easing Doctor’s Office Anxiety

As babies, our children look to us when they need immunizations or go to a wellness check with a doctor. Our demeanor and reaction set the stage for the rest of their lives. Calmness, smiles, rewards of stickers or an ice cream cone are all ways we can make sure the dentist’s or doctor’s office is not a scary place, but a fun outing.

As your tot gets a little older, a good way to ease apprehensions about the actual doctor’s visit is to go ahead and call the office to ask whether you and your child can come by to just say hi. Even if you have been going to the same doctor since your child was born, it does not hurt to ease the tension.

On that visit, bring along some freshbaked cookies or some flowers. The staff will enjoy that, and your child will understand that these are his friends. The idea behind this is if you do something nice for someone, it makes you and your child feel good and creates a positive experience instead of a negative one. Plus, when you actually have that appointment, the staff will remember you!

On that note, go ahead and take a tour of the office during this ice-breaker visit, so the doctor can show your child the exam room. If the pediatrician is busy, simply ask when a good time would be. Most of these doctors are happy to oblige. You might even take some photos of the office tour and create an album to leaf through together while you talk to your little one about the upcoming appointment. Be sure to ask before you take any pictures, though.

If you don’t feel comfortable taking photos, draw some simple pictures. Draw your child sitting in the waiting room, sitting on the exam table and wearing the bandage on his arm after a shot.

Books about visiting the doctor are plentiful. The website SheGotGuts.com has some great suggestions! Try Biscuit Visits the Doctor, Corduroy Goes to the Doctor and Daniel Visits the Doctor. The library can offer many suggestions, too.

Another great idea is to get a toy doctor’s kit, and play doctor with your child. Let your child pretend to be the doctor and fix up you or her stuffed animals. Then switch roles— she acts as if she is the patient, and you are the doctor. This helps her learn what the doctor’s tools do and that they don’t hurt.

Go ahead and write down your child’s height and weight measurement at home before your appointment. This is quite helpful, as you can find a playful way to get your child to stand on your scale at home, which relieves some of the stress on you to try to get your child to cooperate at the doctor’s office. You can still encourage your child to get weighed and measured at the doctor’s office, but if he fights you and the doctor on it, you will have an approximate measurement to share with the doctor, if necessary.

Try to create a checklist of exactly what happens at the doctor’s office as a visual for your child to know what happens next. For example, make a chart and draw pictures then put it on the fridge or your child’s bathroom mirror, so she can visualize what will happen. List things like check in, play quietly in the waiting room, follow the nurse into the exam room, get weighed on the scale, etc.

Be sure to validate your child’s feelings. Avoid saying, “It will be fine. There is nothing to be afraid of.” Instead, try, “I understand how you feel. I was really nervous before my doctor’s appointment last week, but I am glad I went. Going to the doctor is how to stay healthy.”

If your child is still worrying, try asking questions to help him pinpoint and manage his fears: “Let’s go over everything that is going to happen tomorrow. Stop me when we get to something that sounds scary.”

Remember, your anxiety rubs off on your child. If you have questions, don’t ask them in front of your child. Ask to speak to the doctor while your child is getting checked in. This gives the doctor a heads up about your concerns before the appointment begins.

For some children, being a part of the process is a great help. For example, ask the doctor whether your child can hold the stethoscope or thermometer. And bring distractions. It would be great if your child could be seen on time all the time, but it’s more likely you’ll be spending some time in the waiting room. Have your child choose a favorite game or book to bring along to help keep her mind occupied.

Even though going to the doctor is not something your child enjoys, it’s a necessary part of staying healthy for life. Helping children develop tools and resilience to manage anxiety will make future visits less stressful for you and them.

Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.

Sources: StirTheWonder.com, ChildMind.org