KDgospelMedia Magazine
January 2009
7 Principles of a Godly Dream All Gods Children Got Shoes
Take Charge of Transitions
The Power of Ten Success Does Come In Pairs Part 2
A Good Time to Invest Weight & Resistance
Together,
exercises are a fountain of youth
forever, as one
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January 2009
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January 2009
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True to it’s brand and has been designed in a way that appeals to everyone; from the corporate elite to the young adult just looking for information and advice on how to get ahead of the game. Our readers are from all around the world, they are wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, teens and singles. Simply put, they are you...the Consumers!
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Contents Features 19
Presidential Inauguration
The Power of Ten Success Does Come In Pairs - Part 2 24 Brian and Jenn Johnson 26 Chris and Rita Taylor 28 Dr. Ottey 29 Wesley and Metashar Dillon
Departments
10 11
EMPLOY Take Charge of Transitions FINANCE A Good Time to Invest
15
ENTERTAINMENT All Gods Children Got Shoes
16
INSPIRATION Seven Principles of a Godly Dream
30
FITNESS Weight & Resistance exercises are a fountain of youth
32
FAMILY Together, forever, as one
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January 2009
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KDgospelMedia Magazine
President & Editor in Chief Deanne R. Williams Creative Design & Production Karl M. Williams Contributors Joyce Averils Brian & Jenn Johnson Chris & Rita Taylor
Elder Dave Watkins Karen Mack Benita Perkins
Advertising Deanne@kdgmmag.com Subscriptions www.kdgmmag.com/subscribe.htm
06
WORDS FROM EDITOR
08
CONTRIBUTORS
12 36
MUSIC NOTES BOOK REVIEW
KDgospelMedia Magazine is published four times a year. All non-advertising and non-subscription inquiries should be submitted via email to deanne@kdgmmag.com Contents of this publication may not be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. Our Mission: Living Life, Loving Life, while Successfully Managing Life is everyone’s dream and “KDgMMag,” understand that dream and delivers idea’s, answers and encouragement for you to turn those dreams whether short or long-term into manageable goals. After all where there is no vision the people perish Proverbs 29:18
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Words from the Editor KDgospelMedia Magazine will be releasing it’s Premier issue featuring the Love, and Strength of the Mann’s in our “Power of Ten,” article. Then there is the cover story that will not only grace the cover of “KDgMM,” but will probably grace the cover of every magazine in print for months to come. The Inauguration of the first Black President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama if that isn’t a reason for the soul to stir you tell me what is! For the first time I realize that not only was my voice heard (in this election) but what I had to say made a difference. I was and am a part of History. But know that there is plenty more History to be made….will you be a part of it!
It has been an amazing journey thus far and we are only just beginning. I couldn’t sleep even though my head didn’t hit the pillow until 2:30 a.m. this morning (Dec 14, 2008). So I reached over and grabbed my glasses so that I could look at the clock for the time. “Man,” only 8:30 a.m. I’ve got to force myself to go back to sleep otherwise I’m going to be no good for the rest of the day. But I’m restless. Is it from lack of sleep? “Perhaps,” I’ve also been taking antibiotics for the past 3-days for a sinus infection; but I am one hundred percent positive that it’s not those pills because my head is clearer today than it has been the past two-weeks. “No,” it wasn’t any of those things that bothering me however, there was something heavy on my mind and stirring in my soul. You see it wasn’t just a stirring but it was the strong-end of the stirring. What do I mean by that? Well the reality of the history that is about to be made became so strong within me that my soul could not rest any longer. “Why now?” Why, is it that the reality was just becoming real to me? The truth is that just last night I began to do my usual end of the year evaluation. You know that thing most of us do every year just before we make those New Year resolutions we can never keep; checking the friend list, the bill list, the priority list…you know what I’m talking about. I made sure that I threw away old paper’s from projects that I had started and never finished (a few years earlier), thought it might be time to give it up. I did all I knew to do to ensure that I would not be taking anything or anyone into (2009) that would not be edifying, uplifting, or enlightening for my up-coming journey simply put; it all had to become history. I am getting ready to walk the road that God has paved for me, it is my next level. Not only will I be making history but I along with millions of other people, young, old, rich, poor, African-American or not I will also be a part of history. What is all this excitement about you may be asking yourself…well, in 1-month and 5-days A
January 2009
JOY has never been felt to its fullest or experienced to its utmost until it has been experienced with the Father. There is a joy, an unspeakable joy that surpasses all understanding. At times when you don’t feel your best, if you can take a moment to stop and think. But God! Joy will most certainly start to set in. It is at this point if you could take another moment to focus on that sudden surge of joy, then will you began to realize that the joy you are feeling is not predicated upon man most miserable. But, upon God most merciful.
With Love ~Deanne
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From the Desk of KDgospelMedia Magazine
Reader Participation Time! Gospel Artist “Terrell Hunt” Has Agreed to Answer Your Questions When? July 2009 Only in KDgospelMedia Magazine 1st Call “KDgMMag” is going to give (10) of its subscribed readers the opportunity to be a part of our July Issue which will feature recording artist “Terrell Hunt.” You ask the questions... we’ll go FACE2FACE with Terrell to get the answers.
SUBSCRIPTION $4.50/Single Issue $14.50/ Yearly www.KDgMMag.com
For more information, you must send proof of your one year subscription (subscription must be made between Feb. 15, 2009 - April 30, 2009 to be considered), a photo of yourself (if you would like it included in the article) along with your question (one question per person will be printed). Send proof of purchase (copy of receipt) to “Deanne” at deanne@kdgmmag.com.
MEN...MEN...and More Men KDgospelMedia Magazine’s July Issue is all about the Guys in our lives. Recommend someone who you feel deserves to be NOTED! Or you can NOTE yourself. We are looking for Saved Male Professional’s of all walks of life (ie..., Preachers, Teachers, Athletes, Doctors, Lawyers, Garbage-man, etc.) All are important to us. (Deadline for recommendations is April 30, 2009). Deadline for submissions is April 30, 2009. To subscribe, go to www.kdgmmag.com. Send all required information to “Deanne” at deanne@kdgmmag.com Then see yourself in print in our July Issue.
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January 2009
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CONTRIBUTORS
Dave Watkins Elder at St. John’s Full Gospel Delvierance Church in Bloomfield, CT
Karen Mack Karen Mack Management Consultants, LLc
Joyce M. Averils Refresh Your Faith Ministries
www.eyeslipsface.com A
January 2009
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BOOK REVIEW
A Lifestyle of Prayer by: Linda Beed Each year the literary market is flooded with a variety of books, written by well-meaning (often selfproclaimed) experts in a variety of fields. These texts are purchased by the masses in an attempt to better their lives. In a time where YOU, has become the main ingredient in the ‘living your best life’ recipe, A Wife’s Prayer: Seeking God’s Best for Your Husband sheds light upon a more palatable entrée. Just as the Master passes on the mantle to his protégée, Pastor Pamela Hines of Milwaukee, Wisconsin does so with care. The book’s opening reveals a private matter that challenges the fait and union of this public couple. It is Mrs. Hines’ candor that sets the tone for the truth to come. Her revelation is not an expression of sensationalism nor is it meant to elicit pity or to vilify. What is spoken in truth is the choice she made for the sake of deliverance for
those whom she may never meet. What is that choice? It is the choice to pray beyond personal pain. Rather than wallow in self-pity and anger, Pastor Hines chose to use her authority and the power that has been vested in her. She spoke the Word of God over her husband. Her reward has been the restoration of her marriage. More than that, she chose to turn what the enemy meant for harm into good. Throughout this powerful text, readers will find scriptures that speak to every challenge we have or might face within the marriage covenant. What becomes evident is that it isn’t about who is right or wrong, but rather, what works. As evidenced by the testimonies, what works is the power of prayer. A Wife’s Prayer speaks specifically to the covering of husbands. By the time you exit these pages, it will become evident that a lifestyle of prayer is powerful.
Unforgiveness is probably one of the biggest yet-unnoticeable sins in the world today. Unforgiveness is not only a sin, but it’s a disease. It carries with it paralyzing and life-threatening symptoms that can end in spiritual death. Going undetected, unforgiveness can spread division and strife throughout our churches as well as our homes. Not to mention the chains of bondage it places on our lives. Once contracted, unforgiveness will start to spread throughout the mind, taking over the thought process and interfering with what should be our focus, paralyzing and causing us to miss the important moves of God. It also causes our responses, actions and body language to become inappropriate.
ISBN 0-9777962-3-X visit kdgmmag.com
January 2009
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EMPLOY Take Charge of Transitions by:Karen Mack
The onset of fall is a period of transition or renewal. For
may be perceived as the loss of business. However,
some it is a time of “grounding” or settling back into
after years of practice, I now know better. If I can do it,
comfortable routines. For others, it’s a time of realign-
so can you!
ment with goals or a renewed commitment toward
These simple, yet challenging steps will help you get
finishing un-finished projects. Still others are filled with
through unexpected changes. Try holding the steps in
the excitement and/or anticipation of beginning new
mind for the next 30 days. Next month could produce a
activities or perhaps starting a new phase of life.
pleasant surprise.
No
Try it, you have nothing to lose!
matter what you may be experiencing, your outcome is directly related to your mindset.
You will make the dif-
ference in how the upcoming season will unfold.
Karen Mack Management Consultants, LLC offers facilitation services, communication and professional de-
My minister frequently says, “the thoughts held in mind produce after their own kind.”
This time-honored quote
is a universal principle that we forget about when things don’t work out the way we would like.
Remembering
this quote can be empowering … practicing it requires work, a lot of work!
Monitoring our thoughts and sub-
sequent emotions allows us the opportunity to change our behavior and ultimate outcomes. Alas, if only it were that easy! Here’s a personal example to illustrate what I mean. For several few years, I have been on a small team of (contract) facilitators teaching a leadership program for a large quasi-government agency. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with this client and have gained much in the process. In an effort to cut cost, a decision was
Try the following steps to practice maintaining a positive attitude during what may be a transitional period in your life: 1. Monitor your thoughts; remember that thoughts evoke emotions (energy). 2. Consciously change your mind from anything negative to something positive. 3. Hold on to the positive thought no matter what. Create an “ideal” situation in your mind’s eye; replay it continually. 4. Don’t be surprised when things change in your favor; welcome them. 5. Express gratitude for the outcome. More important, be grateful for the lesson and knowledge of how to impact your outcomes!
made to use an in-house trainer (full-time employee) to teach core courses for the upcoming year. While I understand the economic reasons for the decision, the
velopment training, personal coaching and customized
manner in which the news was communicated to the
corporate retreats. Contact Karen at (202) 546-0722 or
team of trainers lacked the interpersonal professional-
karen@kmmc.biz to discuss a program for your organi-
ism that we strived to teach in this leadership program.
zation. Permission to reprint this article may be ob-
Needless to say, this change was not welcomed by any
tained by contacting Karen Mack prior to printing.
of us; however I quickly realigned my thoughts to what I know to be true – when one door closes, another
Karen Mack Management Consultants, LLC
one opens! I held on to that thought (belief) until my energy changed from negative to positive. An hour or so after receiving this unwanted news, I sent a note to our “replacement” to congratulate her and wish her well. She was elated that I took time to reach out to her as she thought the team would be negative toward her. I have focused diligently on this forward-thinking belief since then and purposefully surround my thoughts with energy that is positive and affirming. I know that bigger and better opportunities will come! The outcome will be directly related to the thoughts I hold. Is it easy? Absolutely not! It would have been easier to “stew” in what
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January 2009
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FINANCE Many Experts Believe This Isn’t a Good Time to Invest. We Disagree. Courage, Perspective, Discipline and Patience These are tough times for the U.S. economy. In fact, on Dec. 1, 2008, the economists at the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) confirmed what most of us had expected — the nation has been in a recession since December 2007. Of course, this declaration is of little use to investors who already have seen the stock market drop nearly 50%. Recessions happen all the time. This is the 12th U.S. recession since January 1945. We believe this is a great time for investors with longterm goals to put money to work. If you can commit to a long-term investment strategy, we believe this may be one of the best opportunities in the past 30 years to invest money in the stock and bond markets. Let me be clear: We’re facing serious economic challenges. This is likely to be the worst recession in decades. But that doesn’t mean you should abandon a wellthought-out investment strategy. Saying that this might be “the worst recession in decades” simply means it might last longer and be deeper than the last two recessions, both of which lasted only eight months and were two of the shortest recessions on record. Even the 10 most pessimistic economists1 on average believe the economy will begin to pull out of this recession sometime in the second half of 2009. Historically, the stock market anticipates changes in the economy by about six months. Finding the Bottom No one can pinpoint a market bottom. The market and the economy might (and likely will) bounce around for many more months. But we don’t know that. What we do know is the stock market, as measured by the S&P 500, has already dropped 45.8% since hitting a peak of 1565 on Oct. 9, 2007. This means that many investors, like you, understand the short-term prospects for many companies are now worse than they were 12 months ago. Ask yourself these questions: Does it make sense to abandon a long-term strategy in reaction to short-term events? Historically, has it been a good decision to sell stocks (or bonds, for that matter) after they’ve dropped 40% or 50% in value? Historically, has a drop of this magnitude been a good selling opportunity or a good buying opportunity? In some cases, such as with Enron or WorldCom, the visit kdgmmag.com
answer would have been, “We should have sold.” That’s why broad diversification2 is so important. No one can guarantee the future of any company or investment. In the months ahead, we expect more companies to fail and the unemployment rate to rise. That’s what happens during recessions. But historically a well-diversified portfolio of quality investments does recover in value as recessions draw to a close. In fact, the stock market usually recovers roughly six months before the recession ends, when the news is still bad. And that recovery can be substantial. In most cases, the stock market has rallied in the first 12 months of recovery: 37% on average.3 Buy on Bad News If you want to do better than break even, you’ll need to put more money to work. At today’s depressed prices, the stock market provides a current yield of 3.5%.4 And quality bonds also provide attractive yields, which are considerably above normal when compared to Treasury bonds. That income can help take the sting out of waiting for the stock market to recover. Don’t worry so much about picking the perfect investment or the perfect time to invest. Invest systematically,5 buy quality, and build for balance. That’s one of the best strategies for achieving your investment goals. What If You’re Retired? If you are already in the market but lack a steady paycheck to make up the shortfall, there are still some steps you can take: 1. Review your investments – Work with your financial advisor to make any necessary changes to upgrade the quality or diversification of your portfolio. 2. Look at your withdrawal rate – If your initial withdrawal amount was about 4%, it may still be appropriate, even though the value of your investments may have dropped. Future returns on your investments will likely be a bit higher now that stock and bond prices have fallen so much. 3. Continue to own equities – Even if you’re 60 or 70 years old, you should consider owning equities to help keep pace with the ever-rising cost of living. Even if inflation stays at 3%, nearly everything you buy today will cost twice as much in 24 years. Owning too many short-term income investments may make it very difficult to keep pace with inflation.6 We recognize that this bear market has been especially tough on retired investors. But don’t abandon a well-thought-out investment plan.
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Buy High, Sell Low? Unfortunately, many investors aren’t preparing for the next bull market, they’re busy preparing for the next bear market, which could end at any time. When investors are fearful, as they are now, they keep more of their money in cash than in the stock market. We’ve been measuring this since 1981, and the amount in money market accounts compared to the stock market is at an all-time high. The lesson is clear: Following the crowd is a mistake. Having the courage to invest when others are fearful can be very profitable. Stay the Course Not all experts agree that this is a bad time to invest. A few very savvy, seasoned investors are putting money to work in this market. Most of them are independent thinkers who tend not to follow conventional wisdom. When stories are told of the greatest investors, many people wonder, “How can I be more like them?” Success doesn’t require a Ph.D. or inside information. You don’t need millions of dollars or access to the greatest minds on Wall Street. All you need is courage, perspective, discipline and patience. Alan F. Skrainka, CFA Chief Market Strategist Investment Reports Barbara J. Randolph Financial Advisor/AAMS www.edwardsjones.com 1 Polled by Blue Chip Economic Indicators, Nov. 10, 2008 2 Diversification does not guarantee a profit or protect against loss. 3 Source: Ned Davis 4 Source: Bloomberg 5 Systematic investing does not ensure a profit or protect against loss. Such a strategy involves continual investment in securities regardless of fluctuating price levels of such securities. The investor should consider the financial ability to continue the purchases through periods of low price levels. 6 Investing involves risk, so investors may lose money. Investing for short periods makes losses more likely.
Dr. Linda Beed is founder of On Assignment Reviews (http://lindabeed.blogspot.com). She has provided pre and post book reviews for clients of PR notable Pam Perry, as well as independent and traditionally published authors. Purposely Said her literary column appears monthly in Shades of Romance Magazine. She is also author of the debut Christian fiction novel Business Unusual. Dr. Beed can be contacted at: She can be contacted at: lindaonassignment@yahoo.com
ISBN-10: 0978589009 ISBN-13: 978-0978589004 A
January 2009
Author Dr. Linda Beed visit kdgmmag.com
ENTERTAINMENT
ALL GODS CHILDREN
GOT SHOES A NaeRoc Production “All God’s Children Got Shoes,” is one of the most hilarious plays that I have ever seen and without doubt a play worth going to see with not only your friends. For those of you with kids do not leave them at home you would want to bring them along because “All Gods Children Got Shoes,” deals with the issues our children are facing and shows how with honesty, truthfulness, and faith in God we can help our children. The play opens with the very talented Collin Shaw, who plays Mr. Busta the shoe shop owner starts to explain to Kendra his helper (played by the also talented Jilly-Ann Anderson), about his love of being a shoe shop owner and how he has built a relationship with his customers; and has gained a better understanding of each of them through the type of shoes they drop off for repair. Mr. Busta had seen every shoe there is come threw the doors of his shop; every shoe from the Baby Shoe, “whiny, not serious,” Loafer, “no goals, no motivation, all ways following someone else’s lead,” to the Patten Leather Shoe, “shinning, a source of light or inspiration.” visit kdgmmag.com
Five minutes into the play and you will not only be able to see what type of shoe you used to be but you’ll also start praying about what type of shoe you want to end up being. Writer, director, and producer Corean Strong, native of Vicksburg, Mississippi., has brought all her God given talent and planted herself in Southbury, CT where in (2004), she has put her hands together in prayer her pen to the paper producing the play “All God’s Children Got Shoes,” which has been touring ever since. There is no doubting that everyone has a particular road of their own that they must travel in a life-time. And there is also no doubt that a persons personality will play a huge role in determining how rough or how smooth that journey will end up being. Some will allow their shoes to take them down paths not intended for them to go because they’ve chosen the wrong type of shoe to follow. The message that one has to be careful when deciding what shoe to wear is clear; like the enemy, that sneaker or, a snake-skin shoe that you may be depending on to lead you just might have an ulterior motive. Nevertheless, there still remains hope which you clearly get when the “Eric Young (lost shoe #3),” sings his outstanding rendition of the song “I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about a man who can save anybody,” originally written and sung by “The Williams Brothers.” Now you might have never thought about life in terms of why we purchase the type of shoes that we do. Or why we take the roads we take but, maybe just maybe the shoes that we chose to ware also have something to do with our personality! Using the God perspective and a brand of shoe “All Gods Children Got Shoes,” uses shoes as a symbol to explain why we are who we are. Yes, it’s true everybody’s got shoes it’s just a matter of knowing where yours will take you. Make sure that on Sunday morning you put on your own “Shoes,” and get to service.
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MUSIC NOTES
With tremendous soul “Heather Headley’s” new 2009 CD entitled “Audience of One,” has without a doubt caught the ears of thousands; each song laid out
The
with pure heart show-
Kevin Sharpe
ing that Heather is no
Group
Ordinary Worshiper. Whether written by
“Celebrating,” with Kevin
the incredibly talented
Sharpe & The Kevin Sharpe
songbird herself or a remake of gospel artist “Fred Hammond’s,” “Running Back To You,” each single is delivered with the same amount of respect, love and gratitude to God.
Group is easy, natives of Massachusetts, fairly new to the scene but, unquestionably worth making note of. The Cd’s instrummentation will “WOW” you as you take note of the assignment of musical territory covered. Every sound from jazz, soft rock, to traditional gospel is here so you’ll want to make room on your MP3 player for this group who is already making huge strides.
Music worth making note of is music worth...
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January 2009
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RETIREMENT • INSURANCE • INVESTMENTS
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January 2009
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INSPIRATION
Seven Principles of a Godly Dream Do you ever wonder if your dream is God’s will for your life? Perhaps you have almost convinced yourself that God did not give you a dream because if He had, it would have come to pass by now. If you have had thoughts like these, I want to remind you that when God created you, He placed a dream inside of you. Your heavenly Father is the ultimate dream giver. As His child, He has given you everything you need to make that dream come true.
‘‘If you doubt that this is true for you, evaluate your dream against these seven principles". 1. A Godly Dream Always Aligns With Scripture. Throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites were told that their descendants would be more numerous than the stars in the sky, that every place they set their feet would be theirs and that they would always be above and not beneath. In Deuteronomy 6:3, Moses reminds them of God’s promise concerning their life in the Promised Land. Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, promised you. The Israelites could dream about the future God promised them because their dream lined up with His word. If you can find biblical support for your dream, it is a godly dream. The Lord would never ask you to do something that conflicts with scripture.
2. When Pursuing a Godly Dream, There Is A Relationship Between The Scope Of Your Ministry And Your Time Of Preparation. If you have big dreams, you will have big tests. Deuteronomy 8:2 says, “Remember how the lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands.” A
January 2009
When you have a godly dream, you will face desert experiences – finances can dry up, contracts can fall through, your body can experience physical attacks. If you find yourself going through these type circumstances, know that it is all a part of your preparation to do great things for the Lord.
3. You can experience persecution when following a Godly dream. Never forget that Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy you and your dreams. Second Corinthians 4:8-9 states, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Whenever you are on a mission for the Lord, there will be “haters” telling you that you can not do it. However, God would not have planted a dream in your heart and not equip you to see it through. Whether persecution comes from the Devil, family, friends or strangers, never forget that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Philippians 4:13)
4. Satan Will Try To Distract You When You Go After A Godly Dream. You have an enemy who hates you and will do whatever he can to get you off track from pursuing what God wants you do. One of his favorite tools is distraction. Too often when you are walking into your destiny, the Devil will have your mind on visit kdgmmag.com
everything but your dream. Never forget that your “struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12) You are in a spiritual battle every single day. Satan will use anything – illness, finances, self-doubt – he can to keep you distracted from a godly dream. When that happens, recognize what is going on and call on Jesus to fight your battle.
Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) How does your dream line up with these seven principles? God wants your dream to succeed. When a godly dream comes to pass, you honor and glorify Him because your dream has a higher purpose than satisfying self. If your dream glorifies the Father, commit your plans to Him and they will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3)
5. A Godly Dream Calls For Perseverance. Reaching your dream can take some time. Encourage yourself by focusing on the fact that the race belongs not to the swift, but to the one who endures. James 1:4 says, “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Always equate perseverance with preparation. Never give up on your dream, unless the Lord tells you to.
6. You Will Be Held Accountable For What You Do And Do Not Do With A Godly Dream.
Joyce M. Averils Founder, Refresh Your Faith Ministries www.RefreshYourFaith.com
You are the caretaker of the dream God placed in your heart. That means that there is an accountability factor attached to your dream. Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No.’ (Matthew 5:37a) Be a person of your word and actions. Ask yourself every day what you need to do to accomplish your dream, then, do it. Do not allow yourself to sit on God’s dream. The world needs what you have to offer. You were born for a purpose that only you can fulfill. Do not leave this world without having fulfilled it.
7. God Loves You More Than Your Godly Dream And He Asks The Same Of You. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” There is absolutely nothing more important than your relationship with the Lord. Never let your dream become an idol in your life. If trying to achieve your dream gets in the way of spending time with God in prayer, praise and worship, it is time to re-evaluate your dream. Keep first things first by always making the Lord your number one priority. Delight yourself in the visit kdgmmag.com
January 2009
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JUST BETWEEN US
FEAR
Proverbs 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. (NIV). Today is the day that I pledge to never allow FEAR to stand in my way ever again! For too long fear has been the dictator of what Gods people would or wouldn’t be able to accomplish; dictating the roads, areas, and levels they could or couldn’t venture and who they would or wouldn’t be allowed to associate with. Believe it or not, fear has its own social agenda for the people of God. Fear, has been created to keep believers from knowing the joys of being free to be who God has called them to be. Fear dictates how (or how much) we love, when, where, and to whom we can display our intimate side. Fear controls the ability to trust! Ok let’s not become side bared because of what we feel intimacy means! Intimacy is not just something that occurs between a husband and a wife. Intimacy also refers to the bond that exist between a mother, father, and their children. Intimacy is what happens when friendships are being built and, overtime it is what creates that unbreakable soul-tie. Now it would be misleading if I didn’t say “yes intimacy is what happens between a husband and a wife” (but I will stand firm when I say that it is not just what happens before intimate moments). Fear also causes otherwise good people to do some not so good things, instigating to an already sensitive hearted person to believe the devil when he tells them that God has left their side, during a time when they need him the most. Fear pressures a person who has never been loved or validated (during childhood), into looking for those missing affections in all the wrong places. Fear uses the unknown to keep you the believer from crossing over your-own-symbolic Jordan River, and into the promises that God has waiting for you. Fear is a powerful force so let us not take it for granted because it is real and God knows that it has many faces. Knowing when fear is present within our loved ones or even when it is present within ourselves is tricky because of the many faces that fear has. But, with this knowledge fear will never be allowed to control your life ever again. Proverbs 29:25 is clear in the elucidation that fear of man is a snare. Have you ever witnessed a woman or a man who is in an abusive relationship? Making a healthy decision to-protect-self will be almost impossible for this person because of the grip that fear imposes. Fear is not just distributed through physical actions, but through methods of mental and verbal abuse as well. If a person can cause you to fear them, then they can control you and your every move. This is a very dangerous position to be in. Proverbs 29:25 But whoever trust in the Lord is kept safe. This is a promise from God…..but how do you obtain this promise when fear is present? I would be lying if I told you that putting fear aside is simple. The truth is, overcoming fear will take time and it will also take a lot of effort. What’s more, fear comes when you try to think ahead as a means of forseeing into the future: fear says that if you can’t see the whole picture then it’s not God leading you but, instead it’s your imagination. After all, if you can’t see your deliverance, how can you trust that you will be saved from your situation right? Trying to foresee will be a hindrance when it comes to the things of God, because scriptures tell us that we know in part 1Corinthians 13:9 (For we know in part and we prophesy in part). However, many believers refuse to move into the un-familiar for fear that God won’t be there in the end: even though God has promised to be the lamp unto their feet and the light unto their path; never leaving, discarding or neglecting them at any time. Understand that Fear never tell the Truth unless you give it control over your life. So let us make the pledge to stop FEAR in its tracks!
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Presidential Inauguration “Neither segregation nor discrimination can take away the pride felt on today; this day will find many saying I am proud to be an America.”
“We have come this far by faith.”
“He pressed….and he made the mark”
“A new dawn of American leadership is at hand “Barack Obama”
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Excitement arises as people rush to the Inauguration Day Ceremony
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It was a day like no other a true family affair. People came out in droves with children on their backs, hips, or running alongside; rich, middle class, poor; adults, teenagers, the mature in age. The ecstatically happy white, brown, and the tan skinned. Whether you, were born American or inducted through neutralization on January 20, 2009 all would-be-made one. To ensure that they would not miss any-of-the excitement many camped out overnight on the Capitols lawn. Tired, cold, hungry, and anxious for what seemed like a lifetime the people endured. If only for a few hours strangers would become extended family and friends as they shared stories of their determination and long journeys to get there. It becomes clear just how much being a part of the momentous event meant to them. Talk about American patriotism by sun up the crowd was so thick you couldn’t move. The shoulder or back of the person in-front-of-you would be your only relief and thankfully make it seem as if you were lounging on a plush sofa. Tammy (an African-American woman), was my cushion. “We have come too far to give up now. We can relax when it’s all over cause, I’ve got to see this to the
lead, and protect his country. For some this will be the first time they have ever thought an election to be important and the first time they have cast their vote, making this election and seeing this President take the oath just that much more important to them. Those who, could not be there in person were no less faithful than those who were. They showed their love and support by tuning in by-way-of TV, radio, and internet. Nonetheless, wherever you were, the reaction would be the same for 25-seconds, ‘pure silence’ when the new President of the United States of America, opened his mouth and said. “I Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” The crowd would cheer and my soul would say this part of the race…..it-isfinished. Some say that in 2008, President Elect Barack Obama rewrote the book of Presidential elections’ when he became the first Black man to make it through an entire electoral race and came out a winner. However, those of us who know and
‘‘Get your Obama t-shirts, get your Obama buttons don’t miss your chance to be a part of history, scream street vendors. “Who would miss this opportunity I said to myself?” end. If only my grandparents and parents were alive to see this day I can’t cave now I have come too far by faith says” Tammy. Even after standing in line for hours packing themselves like cans of sardines on Washington, DC’s Metro service, and still everyone’s spirits were high with expectation. Directed and redirected to different entrances when told by security that they were at the wrong gate the people of America proved to be as faithful and resilient as they pray their new President will be. Then again, many wouldn’t get to see their President lay his right hand on the bible that Abraham Lincoln used, instead speakers blaring “Obama’s,” voice for miles would allow those packing the streets to take part in the swearing in, allowing them to also be a part of history. In the end the count would conclude that close to 2-million people covered the lawn, filled the streets, and piled into the National Mall to watch the United States of America’s first Black President ‘Barack Hussein Obama’ take the oath to serve, visit kdgmmag.com
understand that Gods will has never been that one race should control all other races of people , realize the book was not rewritten the pages just couldn’t be turned before their season. Instead, readers would be forced to slow down and pay attention to the captions. In 1972 female AfricanAmerican Democratic nominee Shirley Chisholm would be the first to stand, 1984-1988 the Reverend Jesse Jackson, 1996-2000 Republican Alan Keyes, and in 1988 Dr. Leonora Fulani another African-American woman would not only run but would make the ballot in all 50-States these people were not just pioneers but page turners also. Even Senator John McCain would conclude that he understands the difference and importance of President Obama’s win and KDgospelMedia Magazine also was there to share those sentiments to celebrate and praise the day’s event. Our prayers are with you and your family Mr. President! ~KDgMM
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As far as the eye can see; people came from all over to be a witness.
All Forces Stand Together!
Jamie Fox astounds the crowds.
Shakira, Stevie Wonde and Usher gives tribute in song. A
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(Above) Beyonce sings at the Lincoln Memorial. (Below) The Obamas greet the people.
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FEATURE
The Power of Ten Success Does Come in Pairs
Part 2
2nd Couple
Brian & Jenn Johnson Brian and Jenn Johnson are extraordinary worship leaders called to the cutting edge of Christian music today. Their musical skill, refreshing style and anointed song writing has ministered to thousands both in live worship settings and through their albums. Brian and Jenn Johnson are the worship pastors at Bethel Church in Redding, California. Their simple approach for God and life shows in their worship and teaching. KDgMM: You went from worsip leaders in your KDgMM: Now you both are worship leaders at ministres too worship artist...How did the idea of Bethel Church, describe to me what a worship exbecoming dual worship artist materialize. perience is like during service? Brian & Jenn: “I think for me, it wasn’t as much Brian: “Every time is totally different. Sometimes moving from a worship leader to an artist as it was during worship healings start breaking out or word the popularity of prophetic worship increasing! of knowledge type of stuff.” Which to us is AWESOME!! The world is craving Jenn: “We have one goal – to find His presence. “rhema word” worship - they’re tired of just “singWe usually start with high praise songs and then ing the songs”. Our heart is for the world to get go from there.” real with God - personal. We’re just who we are Jenn: “We have a system: God, then family, then worshipers. The fun part is that when you’re real, ministry.” it’s contagious. Our heart is to awaken people to KDgMM: Two worship CD’s under your belts, are “real” worship and the incredible goodness of God. you planning to release It’s just a fun job.” another one soon? And if so could you tell the KDgMM: What does the face of worship look like? readers a little bit about what they can expect to And how do you view the prophetic? hear? Brian: “I think prophetic and worship go hand and Brian & Jenn: “We just put together and released hand.It’s impossible to lead people into a place a new cd composed of several worship leaders without prophetic insight.” from Bethel during live worship services. It is Jenn: “Worship is a lifestyle, not just a Sunday called Bethel Live. Our plan is to do another live cd morning event. The prophetic is simple, it’s just of our own. we have several songs but waiting for hearing Him and repeating what He said or did.” enough we’re happy with.” A
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KDgMM: Who is your targeted group? And how do you understand the impact you have on the younger generation through your music? Brian: “I don’t have a targeted group. My goal is to write great songs that anyone can sing.” Jenn: “Our target group is worshipers of any age. Our heart is to addict the younger generation to His presence though worship. The younger generation has a tendency to be self-inclusive. Worship for us is when you go beyond yourself and magnify Him above your “issues”. No good comes from “looking within” yourself. Worshiping Him and letting Him take care of you and your “issues” as you worship is a much better plan, I think. And a lot less stressful.” KDgMM: What is it like to work together? Can you give our readers some advice on how to make working, worshiping, and raising a family together easier? Brian: “We love being able to work together. If we respect each other’s opinions or ideas it keeps us close.” Jenn: “Well, its just fun. We really honor our system of God first, then family, then ministry, by only being away from our kids once a month. Everyone has their own “grace” to do things and I think that it’s about being faithful to what your “personal family system” grace is. KDgMM: I’m sure that you know that people are not just looking at 2 worship leader’s who happen to be married, but instead a married couple who happens to be worship leaders? Do you believe that God is using your marriage relationship as an example to the church and ministry as a whole? Brian: “Yeah, I think God is definitely using our marriage as an example especially to younger people who are looking to get married and being in the ministry.” Jenn: “Yep! We are really “real” people. Our heart is to exemplify real worship and real communication.” Brian & Jenn JohnsonKDgMM: How did you recognize the call to worship on your lives? Prophetic worship is not something that everyone understands how do you explain or teach the difference and importance of prophetic worship? Brian: I think if someone is anointed when they sing or lead worship that is a sure sign they are called to it. Prophetic worship is simply hearing the voice of God and doing what He says, whether in visit kdgmmag.com
song or just playing chords. It’s about going where He goes.” Jenn: “Well, I think we’re all called to worship. But God highlights certain people, I think, that are anointed for corporate worship leading. I first felt this in high school and then God and some amazing mentors aided in my growth spiritually and musically. Prophetic worship to me is just keeping your “what is God saying/doing in the room” antennas up during your worship set, and then incorporating what He’s doing into music/lyrics.”
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3rd Couple
Chris & Rita Taylor KDgMM: What is the one element that you would say has been key to hold together such a busy family. Rita:Togetherness is one of the key ingredients that plays a most important role in the finalization of the puzzle. Everything that we do in the course of our busy lives forces us, as individuals and as a family, to intricately play our specific role. In the defining of those roles, everybody takes a positive mindset and we get the job done. The second ingredient that allows us to hold our family together is the love that we have which “covers” a multitude of faults. We know “who” we are and we know “whose” we are, and, with that confidence, we place our trust in where God is leading us. Each person has their role to play and ome together and get the job done. With God, it just seems to work for us. Christropher: I believe that discipline and listening to the voice of God is what has allowed us to keep this family together and pointed in the proper direction. We live in a society now that wants what they want and they want it when they want it. I have come to the conclusion that they want it now! Well, all things dont always come right now. With so many members of this family, direct and indirect, it was necessary for me to maintain a sense of discipline so that we would not try to A
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produce our fruit before time. We have made the mistake of getting before our time, and the family has paid dearly. Now, we wait on God and His timing. As we follow the leading of the voice of God, we began, a long time ago to put on the attributes of the Lord. Our main attribute is love. We love hard and unconditionally. It is this love for each other that has become the glue that binds us together as we move from endeavor to endeavor and from level to level. Having said that, I sometimes come off as the “mean” person because sometimes my answer to certain requests has to be “NO”. I am not the hard task master, but I am tasked with the responsibility of leading this family. I let them know that “NO” doesnt mean for ever, it simply means that it cannot be done right now. Discipline and listening has allowed us to stay out of the enemy’s hands and kept the Taylor family machine running well oiled and smoothly. KDgMM: How did each of you know that the other was the one? Chris: I felt like Rita was the one when our philosophies and ideologies and goals in life began to line up. We both wanted the same things in life and happen to come from the same type of background. Besides I was in love! Rita: There was a warm feeling inside of me. I felt very comfortable. Its almost as if you have the assurance of knowing that your spirit is at ease because it everything is ok and that you have made the right decision. When I was young, I had an idea of the type of man that I wanted, and Christopher was everything that I had dreamed of; and seventeen years later, I now know that my decision was correct. KDgMM: Tell us when do Pastor and Co-Pastor end and husband and wife begin? Chris: For me, Pastor never ends! Husbanding also never stops. I wear both hats, and, depending on the situation, perhaps one hat gets a little “bigger” and more prevalent than the other. I Pastor my wife, however, I do not ever forget that I am first Rita’s husband. I received some very good ad-
vice from a pastor friend of mine who told me to always remember that it is God first, my wife next, then my family, then the church! I have never forgotten that, and that little piece of advice has allowed me to keep my relationship with Rita in perspective. I allow God to handle His church as he sees fit, and allow Him to guide me as I lead my family. visit kdgmmag.com
Rita: I stay in both roles at all times. I know family is first and that it is God’s church. I step into a different role at church, but I never forget that I am still a wife first. KDgMM: Are there times when you find yourself preaching to each other? Chris: Well, since I am her Pastor, and a preacher, I am ALWAYS preaching and encouraging Rita! Preaching is what “preachers” do, so, even when I am not trying to “preach”, I find myself trying to make some type of point. I like it when we get into discussions and end up “preaching” to one another. It’s so invigorating. Rita: Always!!!! (Rita is laughing) I believe that we are helpers one to another. KDgMM: We know that God gives us what we need in our spouses. Tell us who balances who? Chris & Rita: We balance each other. Where one is lacking, the other steps in and fills the void, so, there has yet to come a time where we are not operating as one complete machine. RITA RESPONDS: For me, I am more of the emotional one! Chris is more of the calm, “think before you act” person. So, what one of us does not have, we add to the other thus balancing us out. Chris: I am going to defer and allow Rita to answer this question. However, I have to say one thing. In raising children in the Lord, one must always keep the lines of communication open. We have five children and each child has their own personality. We allow each child to be their own person. All the while we are instilling in them Godly traits and values. We don’t force God down their throat, but, what we have done is make serving the Lord “fun”. We make them realize that living for the Lord is not mundane! Rita: I believe that in rearing children, you have to have much love and a lot of patience. Always remember that kids will do as kids do, but, you as the parent must always continue to impart the things of God into them because they don’t have a choice. Imparting into your children is your responsibility as a parent. It may seem as if your hard work is going unnoticed, but, remember that the Word of God says that you should raise up a child in the visit kdgmmag.com
way that they should go, and, when they get old, they shall not depart from it…..that “it” is what you have imparted into your children. KDgMM: What could one looking for an inspiring setting expect when coming to worship at “New Direction Worship Center?” What is the focus/vision of your ministry? Chris: I am so glad that you asked this question. Persons worshipping at NDWC will find an atmosphere of worship that is conducive for the manifestation of healing. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual healing occurs as you move into a mode of complete worship. You will receive a life inspiring and situation changing experience as you sit in the midst of our invigorating service. We expect that God will arrive and move in the hearts and lives of His people. Rita: AMEN. KDgMM: Who were some of your mentors? And do you feel that it is important that someone seeking to work in ministry have a mentor? Chris: My parents, Dr. Charles and Vera Taylor are my mentors. My former pastor Dr. Rodney J. Berry is my mentor. I also have a mentor whom I have that I have never met, but, I follow, and that is Dr. I. V. Hilliard. It is most important to have a mentor. It doesn’t matter whether you are in ministry or in the secular world, it is imperative that you have a mentor. Another thing about a mentor, is that I don’t have to always be in their presence to learn from them. I watch their ways and study them, then, apply what I deem to be good to my circumstances. Rita: My parents Supt. Willis and Rita Pace continue to mentor me. My former pastors Drs. Rodney J and Jeanette Berry are mentors to me. I do think that it is a good idea to have mentors because it is a good way to keep yourself accountable. KDgMM: What would you say to a couple who feels that God has called them into ministry as Pastor and Co-Pastor? Chris: Pray!!!!!!! Seek the face of God and move in His timing! Rita: Don’t move fast, pray and allow God to do prepare you for the journey.
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4th Couple
Drs. Colin & Sharon D. Allison-Ottey KDgMMag:What is your thoughts on being Saved, Successful, Professionals...biblically what does this mean to you. Otteys: The most important of our lives is that of being Saved and in a close, personal relationship with God. Following our relationship with God, is our relationship with each other and how “successful” we can be as a marital unit. This in our opinion is the most important measure of who we are individually and collectively. As it relates to our professional lives; it is important to understand that we both have individual gifts and talents that may or may not complement each other professionally. It is okay for us to be different, to have different aspirations/goals and even different approaches to problems. We cannot lose our individuality because we are a couple in the same profession. Our individuality is God given and sacred so we must try with all of our might to hold onto those things which make us unique both personally and professionally. Biblically, our success is measured by our walk with God and how we treat our fellowman. We cannot profess Christ on Sundays and ignore Him during the course of our workweek. There have been many challenges associated with keeping balance in our Spiritual walk and our profession but in the end it must always be the will and mandates of God that govern our walk and ultimately provide the satisfaction and success that we strive to attain. Our profession does not “define” us, it is merely a means by which to ultimately serve God and his people. If we keep this perspective then we will truly have the success that God has ordained for us.
‘‘It is important to understand that we both have individual gifts”.
Welsey & Metashar Dillon 5th Couple KDgMMag: Spiritually the two of you came together and connected even before the idea of dating or marriage what difference has that made in your relationship? Wesley: We were spiritually driven cause if you look at our personalities from that standpoint they are totally different I am totally analytical everything has to be in place I need an explanation for everything and for her everything just is she’s all spiritual. However, from this I’ve learned that for those things that I can’t explain to relax and rely on God and not to rely on my own instincts. That piece of knowledge that I don’t know is not all about book sense, intelligence, and training but it comes from God. KDgMMag: Sometime it’s hard for people to imagine that couples who work and minister together actually have successful happy lives outside of ministry, sometimes the reality is that their lives are chaotic on the outside. How do you draw the line on chaos? Wesley: I would say you have to value each other’s differences because people are different like I said before I am totally analytical and my wife isn’t sometimes she will say tell me what you’re feeling, tell what you’re thinking and I’ll say I can’t tell you what I’m feeling just cover me with prayer. You can’t try to overshadow one another my wife can do some things I can’t do for example she can do hair, and she good at doing hair. I’m not and I respect that difference. KDgMM: but you can pray? Wesley: I can pray! I can do the math crunch the numbers too. You can see when things are up or down you have to know when to adjust in a relationship. KDgMMag: The thing that I have noticed is that when the two of you are together in a room there is this connection not just spiritual, but a real sense of energy that can be seen. Wesley: ‘Yea’ she got all that energy “LOL” I just
pull on it! KDgMMag: Do you see this as a part of your ministry? Wesley: I think that we have learned so much in such a short time of being together, being married, business, and being in ministry then being exposed to people from so many different lifestyles, you there’s this commonalty between everyone. Everyone wants to know “God what is my purpose,” it goes from everybody ‘that why am I here,’ ‘why am I here?’ You realize that everbodies looking for that perfect fit and we were no different. So were just here to listen to share through similar experiences and to try to help be that bridge along the way. Metashar: Wesley travels internationally all the time; tell them about how you leave your wife (LOL) you know that’s a whole other ministry. You know when he’s away it gives me my time to spend with the Lord in consecration though (LOL). “Wesley,” come on my traveling I’m not leaving my wife its business. She’s always sad when I leave and she’s always happy when I return at least. KDgMMag: she just wants us to believe she’s always on her face getting closer to God when she really down there saying “Daddy bring my husband home please!” Metashar: yea he’s over in Pakistan bring him back home Daddy.
FITNESS
Weight and Resistance Exercises Are a Fountain of Youth
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uman body physiology 102 - The aging process… Did you know that the aging process begins soon after 30? That age is sooner then most of us believe. The process involves a slow but steady loss of muscle mass. This muscle mass is slowly turning to fat which by itself is not the issue. Pound for pound fat weighs less than muscle so if that were the only problem we would be flabby by certainly not overweight. The problem with losing muscle mass is that the process also slows our metabolism. It takes a lot less energy to maintain fat so our metabolism slows down as our muscle mass diminishes. This in turns leads to weight gain and begins a slow but steady cycle of putting on the pounds. Of course your eating and activity habits have not changed so the slower metabolism mixed with the lack of true physical activity further exacerbates the problem. Before you know it, your cool size 8 figure is now pushing into a size 18. So what is a slick chick like yourself supposed to do about this untimely turn of events? If you have lost muscle mass, how can you regain it? The logical answer is to do activities that build muscle. This means that the older we get, the more important lifting weights and doing other types of resistance training become. You have to lift, crunch, squat, punch, push and pull. So yes ladies, we are talking about hitting the gym or putting in a video and doing the damn thing. Besides improving metabolism, resistance training also provides the following benefits: •Improves heart and lung function •Increases muscle strength and endurance •Strengthens skeletal function and •Boost well-being
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So all you ladies out there who believe that lifting weights will make you look like a female hulk, understand that resistance training is very important for your health and using 3 to 5 pound weights will do your body a world of good! Resistance training works best when muscles are worked to exhaustion. That burn or fatigue you feel when you can barely do the last set, are your muscles tearing. The following day of rest allows them to repair which is how they get stronger and toned. Stronger muscles reduce daily demands on the heart. Barry A. Franklin of the American College of Sports Medicine notes that (resistance training) … will help the heart function more efficiently when one has to lift or carry objects, which is what real life is about”. This comment is especially targeted to people with cardiovascular issues who need to minimize heart strain. And according to Prevention Magazine, resistance training dissolves the innermost fat around internal organs compared with aerobic exercise which works best on superficial fat (around the waistline, triceps, etc.) Lastly, weight bearing exercises which create high pressure on the bones, both builds and strengthens them which helps to fight against osteoporosis or weakening of the bones as we age. All the above resistance training impacts ultimately affect how we feel and function on a daily basis. It’s a quality of life issue which doesn’t cost a lot, but reaps immeasurable benefits both near and long term. Here are some exercises to try!
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Start as shown.
Squeeze elbows together keeping shoulders relaxed. Return to start position. Perform two sets of 16.
Breast Stroke strengthens the back, core and shoulders
Start lying face down. Contract the core and lift the chest, squeezing the shoulder blades. Return to start position. Repeat exercises 8 - 10 times.
Pec Flies - strengthens chest, shoulders and upper arms. visit kdgmmag.com
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FAMILY
TOGETHER,FOR One of the most important passages in the entire Bible relating to marriage has to be Ephesians 5: 21-33. I believe that these passages of scripture outline the foundation for healthy marriages. Some people say that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. I beg to differ. God gives an example of a perfect marriage; you might even say, “A marriage made in heaven,” when he showed us the example of the intimate marriage relationship that Jesus shares with his church. There are many aspects to creating healthy marriages. Some of the important elements of making and keeping marriages healthy are: keeping God first in all things; growing spiritually together; love and submission, effective communication (verbal and non-verbal); the ongoing maturation of trust (openness, honesty, and consistency); quality time; and effective conflict resolution (fighting fair). While there are many other aspects of keeping marriages healthy, I believe that these are among the most important. Keeping God first in the marriage is the most important aspect of being married. The relationship that we share with our spouses indeed can be one of the deepest and most intimate of all relationships that we will ever have. On the other hand, if our allegiance to our spouses trump our love relationship with God, we may find ourselves forsaking our “first love” (Rev. 2:4), thereby kindling the jealousy (Ex. 20:1-5) of The Almighty. God must always take first place in our lives, and A
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when God takes first place, he helps to makes our other relationships flourish (Matt 6:33). Growing spiritually together creates a bond that hardens and helps the husband/wife relationship become unbreakable. Couples that are spiritually mature in God’s Word tend to have an easier time speaking life into even the most challenging of marital circumstances. Even in the most trying of times (and there will be trying times), couples who spend time in prayer, praise, and worship together, have a better time at seeing like God sees, hearing like God hears, and doing things like God does them. When couples choose to grow in God’s grace together, they ensure that they remain balanced and equally yoked throughout their life long relationship with one another. God’s Word tells us clearly that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and that wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Eph. 5:22-30). As we could spend much time on this subject, I would like to mention two important elements related to love and submission. First, many people have a difficult time defining love. We can find just about as many definitions of what love is as people who are willing to define it. The key to knowing the right definition of love is knowing the right source to find it in. The Bible is the right source! I Corinthians 13 gives God’s definition of what love is. According to the bible, love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
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EVER, AS ONE Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice in injustices but rejoices when truth has her way. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through any circumstance. If husbands would apply this definition of love to their relationship with their wives they would find that they are nurturing a life long relationship that will never fail. This also leads us to the second point, which is the submission of wives to their own husbands. If men love their wives as described above, wives should have very few issues in submitting to their husbands. What wife would not submit to a husband who fits the bill of a man that loves her as Christ loves his Church. Submission denotates honor, trust, and the recognition of spiritual authority under God’s divine order of all things. As Christ was submissive to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is submissive to Christ, and as the husband is submissive to the Holy Spirit, so should the wife be submissive to her husband in marriage. Submission does not mean that a wife should be a slave to her husband, but rather a willing help, meet for her husband, capable of humbling herself to her husband’s direction as the spiritual head of their household as he continues to follow God. The Bible tells us that life and death are found in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21). It is no wonder then why effective communication has the power to grow or destroy a marriage. My experi-
ence in working with married couples over the past 10 years as a Christian soul care minister reveals to me that one of the chief road blocks in building healthy marriages is ineffective communication. It is widely known now that men and women often say and interpret things differently. It is therefore extremely important that couples take the time to learn to speak each others language. Also, many couples in relationships are not very good at dialog. Notice I said “dialog”, a two way conversation, not monolog, a one way communication. We typically are good talkers but our listening skills leave much to be desired. Here’s an exercise that couples can do. During an visit kdgmmag.com
important conversation with one another, the couple should agree that after an idea is expressed by one partner, that the other partner repeat what has been said to see if all things have been heard and interpreted correctly before moving on to a response.
Each partner should alternate with this technique until the conversation is completed. You may be surprised at how so many arguments are created as a result of miscommunication and misinterpretation of information. For more information on developing healthy communication skills I recommend reading “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. In my experience, when couples are asked, what things matter most in your relationship with your spouse, the thing that appears almost always in the top three things is trust. In the New Testament of the Bible (KJV), the Greek word that is translated “faith” is “Pistis.” According to the Vines Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, the word “Pistis” is better translated “trust.” Therefore trust is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. January 2009
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Trust is the entry way to favor, favor with God, and with men. Relationships are built on trust…a hope that can’t be seen by the physical eye or touched with the physical hand, but can be felt and seen through the soulish eyes of the heart. One of the ways that couples can continue to promote trust is to be open, honest, and consistent with their spouse. Creating an environment that does not foster the need for secrecy is a huge plus in the development of trusting relationships. Regularly sharing intimate details with your spouse about you strengths, weaknesses, fears, hopes, and dreams fosters an atmosphere of trust. Making a conscious effort not to be judgmental, but instead, supportive and understanding, sets the stage for an honest exchange of thoughts, ideas, and feelings. This next thing seems like it should go without being said, but you might be surprised how many couples leak information that was meant for their ears only to others outside of the marriage relationship. Confidentiality is extremely important when building a trusting relationship. Keep “mama, daddy, and them” out of the intimate details shared between you and your spouse. Most couples find themselves caught up in the rat race of the fast past society that we live in. In a lesson taught by the American Association Christian Counselors out of their Caring for People God’s Way series, they mention a term called “Hurried Sickness.” In a nut shell, it speaks of people being absorbed in so many things during the course of our days and weeks, and having no good time or stress management strategies in place, have created an atmosphere of unhealthy living. I believe this is at the core of why so many couples do not spend enough quality time with one another. Couples have not created enough time to nurture healthy marriage relationships. Husbands and wives must take inventory of their lives and set priorities related to what is most important to them. Marriage was a high priority on God’s list of things to do in creation and was the first institution that He ordained. Likewise, married couples should follow God’s lead by making marriage a priority. In the Book of Genesis, A
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we have the account of the voice of God coming down out of heaven and walking in the cool of the day to personally visit with Adam (Gen. 3:8). Many theologians believe that this was not just a one time encounter, but that God spent much personal quality time with Adam, connecting and fellowshipping with him on a regular basis. God knows the importance of quality time in building relationships and so should married couples. If we neglect to connect with one another in a way that is special, intimate, and regular, we will never be able to achieve the oneness that God intended for Mr. and Mrs. Adam (Gen. 2:24, 5:2). In Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians’ church he writes, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” (Eph. 4:23) This ought to be written down and posted in every married couple’s home as a memorial to practice good conflict resolution. There is going to come a time in every couple’s walk together when they will not see eye to eye on some of the issues of life that confront them. One of the keys to surviving these marital storms is to agree not to let conflict go unsettled for too long. The Bible says that anger should not spill over into the next day! In effective conflict resolution it is important to apply some of the principles that we have already discussed earlier in this article like maintaining a spirit of love and applying good listening skills. Conflict resolution also requires that couples make a conscious effort to resolve differences without sinning: hitting, insulting, cursing, or threatening. There should never be an attitude adopted that seeks to intentionally hurt your spouse. It is important to think with your mind and not with your emotions. This may require that couples take some time to cool down so that anger is controlled and not in control of the situation. Resolving differences requires quality time. Couples will want to select a mutually agreed upon time for discussion of relevant issues so that there is adequate time to discuss issues; time when both partners are rested and not fatigued; and time when issues can be discussed in private, especially apart from the ears of children. Couples should also enter into conflict resolution with a spirit that is ready to forgive. visit kdgmmag.com
They should also enter into the resolution zone with a spirit of understanding that they may be able to see what role they might have played in the conflict. Finally, couples must learn to respond to situations verses reacting to them. Reacting simple relies on impulsive emotion to fuel ones behavior. These reactions are usually hurtful, angry, and later quite regrettable. Responding, on the other hand, requires an individual to stop, think, and provide a behavioral response that is God-like in its intent, “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath� (James 1:19). It is my prayer that married couples beat the worldly odds that say that more than half of Christian couples in the U.S. end up in divorce. I believe that with some conscious effort, a little bit of Godly wisdom, and a whole bunch of Agape Love, all married couples can experience what God intended for them from the very beginning, that being love, peace, unity, with the Lord Jesus standing in the midst, leading, teaching, and guiding couples TOGETHER, FOREVER, AS ONE. May God richly bless all who call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. By Elder David Watkins
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(Conitnued from page 26) Chris & Rita Taylor
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For me victory is something that is not only tangible but absolute.
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DRW
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