F e b r u a r y 11 , 2 016 · Vo l u m e 113 : I s s u e 10
Page 8 Delights and dissapointments: Student’s best and worst Valentine’s experiences
Page 9-11 BYU - Hawaii’s eligible bachelors and bachelorettes
THE LEAD ER
Page 14-15 Technology is taking over tradition in modern relationships
February 11, 2016 • Volume 113: Issue 10 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
ADVISOR
E m i ly H a lls
Le e A n n Lambe r t
MULTIMEDIA
COPY EDITORS
JOURNALISTS
Jare d R o be r ts
Rachel Reed
A ly ssa T royan e k
Matthew Roberts
Samo n e Yu e n
Eric Hachenberger
Kevin Brown
Leiani Brown Megan Church
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Brittanie Vorwaller
Ke lsie C arlso n
Alex Maldonado
Lexie Kap e lie la
Alyssa Olsen
A u stin En ge man n
Taylor Polson
Sto p K h e mth o r n
Danna Osumo Michael Morton
INTERNS Samo n e Yu e n
VIDEOGRAPHERS
H e cto r Pe r iqu in
C a m ro n S t o c k f o rd Jo s h u a M a s o n
ART & GRAPHICS
D o ro t hy C h i u
A n dre a Marsh all
ART DIRECTOR
Macke n zie McLe o d Yu k imi K ish i
H e c t o r Pe r i q uin
Jeff McLeod proposes to Dayna DePaula on Puu o Mahuka Heiau, also known as Waimea Lookout on Oahu. Photo by Hector Periquin
CONTACT
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ON THE COVER: Four bachelors and four bachelorettes of BYU-Hawaii are profiled for Valentine’s Day. Photo by Lexie Kapeliela
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e-mail us your high resolution photos with caption at kealakai@byuh.edu
ABOUT US The Ke Alaka‘i began publishing the first year the university was started and has continued printing for 60 years. The name in Hawaiian means “the leader.” It began as a monthly newsletter, evolved into a weekly newspaper and is now a weekly news magazine along with a website,YouTube channel, Facebook page, Twitter and Instagram. Today a staff of more than 30 students works to provide information for the campus ohana and community.
TABLE OF
CONTENTS 4-5
Ibuki Kishi loved his wife, Yukimi, seven years before she loved him
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The emotion of love produces adrenaline and serotonin, which are hormones that increase heartbeat and happiness
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Facebook: KE ALAKA’I
Eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of BYUH seek dates
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Honolulu Mission president and wife share love story
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Students share tales of awful and wonderful Valentine’s Days
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Dating tips from BYUH students include showing your personality
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Technology is changing what young people think is appropriate in dating, say authors Take our quiz to see what kind of Valentine you are this year
Website: KEALAKAI.BYUH.EDU
YouTube: KE ALAKA’I NEWS
Instagram: @KEALAKAINEWS
FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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Persistence PAYS OFF
A reluctant romance star ts in Japan and blossoms into tr ue love at BYU-Hawaii B Y AL E X M AL D O N AD O
After seven years of diligent pursuit, Ibuki Kishi was finally able to win over the heart of Yukimi Ichimaru. “I didn’t always think I wanted to marry him, but I think I always knew I would. I think Heavenly Father always wanted me to marry him,” said Yukimi. The two were in the same stake when they were young, but their paths never crossed until one fateful meeting at a youth conference when they were both 17 years old. Born to Eiji and Nobuko Kishi in Kumamoto, Japan, Ibuki grew up as the fifth child of 10, with two older brothers, two older sisters, one younger sister, and four younger brothers. Yukimi was raised by her parents, Toshio and Yuko Ichimaru, with a younger brother named Shogo. Yukimi recognized Ibuki at the youth conference because his family was well known throughout the stake. When Ibuki first saw Yukimi, he said he “immediately fell in love with her.” No serious exchanges took place between the two of them during their first interaction, but Ibuki was able to get her contact information before it was too late. They casually corresponded for the next year and never saw each other in person until the following youth conference. Ibuki knew this would be his best chance to win Yukimi’s affection before she left for college, so he decided to seize the opportunity and asked her to be his girlfriend. Yukimi said, “I wanted to say no, but he looked really sad so I just couldn’t turn him down.” The two dated for six months before Yukimi left for BYU-Hawaii and Ibuki left for his mission in Nagoya, Japan.
After about a year of letter writing,Yukimi said she called off their relationship because she was preparing to serve a mission of her own and didn’t feel like it was the right time to be involved in a serious relationship. Fast forward almost one year and Yukimi was called to serve in the Utah Temple Square mission, set to report just one month after Ibuki’s homecoming. Once he had returned, Ibuki took Yukimi on one final date before her mission, told her he still had strong feelings for her, and asked if there was any chance they could go on seeing each other after her mission. Yukimi said, “The old me would have told him there was no chance, but I had a lot of fun on that date, so I couldn’t say no.” She told him not to wait for her and to go on as many dates as possible. He did, but Ibuki said if he didn’t have anyone special in his life by the time she got home, he wanted to go on one more date. Yukimi then started her mission, and Ibuki began school at BYUH, all the while diligently writing Yukimi throughout the duration of her service. Having 18 months to prepare things, Ibuki had a plan set to win her heart upon her return. Only a few days home from her mission,Yukimi received a message on Facebook from her admirer asking if she would like to exchange mission stories on Skype. Yukimi accepted, and they began conversing back and forth for the couple of months leading up to her return to BYUH. A week before the semester began,Yukimi was back in Hawaii and Ibuki had gotten her to commit to dinner and a movie with him.
“Three months later, Ibuki took Yukimi to the Laie Temple where he got down on bended knee and asked her to marry him.” 4
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After their date, Ibuki asked her on another date for the next day, which she accepted. They continued to date almost every day of the week up until the day before the semester began, and on that day, Ibuki asked Yukimi to be his girlfriend again. After spending a day carefully thinking about his proposal, Yukimi agreed and said, “I thought he had too many ideas about who I was. If we start dating, he will see some of the bad things about me and realize I’m not perfect.” Three months later, Ibuki took Yukimi to the Laie Temple where he got down on bended knee and asked her to marry him. Yukimi said, “Every time before this when he would ask me on a date, I would have to think about my response before saying yes. This time, I said yes right away! “My whole life, I never really liked him as a boyfriend, but I liked him as a friend,” Yukimi said. “Many people ask me when I fell in love with him, and the answer is as soon as he proposed.
“Before, he always seemed to like me more, but it’s at the point now where I think I like him even more than he likes me,” Yukimi continued. Ibuki said when he finally won Yukimi over, it felt like he had completed a major challenge. “I felt like I had finally accomplished my mission in life. I was so happy,” Ibuki said. The Kishis were married in the Laie Hawaii Temple on June 17, 2015. Their friend Shogo Nishida, a senior from Japan studying hospitality and tourism management, said, “I think they are the most adorable couple here. How he treats and cares for her is pretty unique from other husbands. They remind me a lot of Mickey and Minnie Mouse.” Ibuki is a junior studying accounting and Yukimi graduates this semester with a degree in graphic design. The couple plans to move to Kyushu, Japan once Ibuki has graduated. Ibuki and Yukimi Kishi were married after she accepted his 7-year-long pursuit. Photo by Hector Periquin
FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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The Psychology of
LOVE BY TAYLO R P O L SO N
Recent research done by doctors at the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University in New York State revealed the symptoms of “intense romantic love.” These include: 1. Craving for union 2. Focused attention 3. Increased energy with the partner 4. Motivation to do things that make the partner happy 5. Sexual attraction and thinking about the partner when apart
Falling in love combines anti-depressant hormones and adrenaline, say scientists. Illustration by Andrea Marshall
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and not do anything to show this love. So, I YU-Hawaii students and LDS Church think that love makes you do things that you leaders said they believe love and never believed you were capable of doing, and marriage can eternally evolve and you are happy because you are doing them for grow. Scientists have conducted research that another person, not for yourself. This makes validates these views through analyses of bioyou happy….This is love.” chemical processes in the brain. Within the LDS community, church “We are born to love,” said anthroleaders encourage long-term, eternal relationpologist Helen Fisher. “That feeling of elation ships. In a recent “Face-to-Face” web broadcast, that we call romantic love is deeply embedded Elder David A. Bednar and Sister Susan Bednar in our brains.” Psychology Today reports, “Love addressed the topic of love. Sister Bednar said, is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. For some, romantic relation- “People don’t fall in love.You pick someone with whom you can create the love that you deships are the most meaningful element in their sire. So we’ve spent 40 years of being married lives, providing a source of deep fulfillment.” and creating that love, and I can honestly say Chance Owen, a freshman from that we are more in love today than we were 40 California who has yet to declare a major, said, years ago.” “Love is a wholesome attraction. Meaning it is Elder Bednar continued, “The word physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental.” ‘love’ is both a verb and a noun. Sometimes, we Biochemistry can help explain the chemical think we have to have the feeling before we aspect of loving, stated a BBC article titled “The Science of Love.” In the article, researchers start ‘doing’ love. Now, I don’t want this to sound unromantic, but the ‘feeling’ follows explained how attraction is made manifest by ‘love the verb.’ And so, we find young people the orchestrated release of a group of neurotransmitters called monoamines. In the com- all over the world who think, ‘Well, I have to find the one and true and only.’ More correctly, pany of a “significant other,” the brain releases dopamine, resulting in a euphoric state of mind. you have to become ‘the one and true and only’ through what you do and what you become. I This particular neurotransmitter is think you create [love].You don’t find it.” also activated by cocaine and nicotine. NorepiLydell Lawrence, a senior majoring nephrine (adrenaline) is subsequently released, causing people to perspire and their heart rates in international cultural studies from Las Vegas, Nev., echoed the thoughts of the Bednars and to increase. Lastly, serotonin is released, acting said, “I know love is an action, but to me, love as an anti-depressant. This stew of chemicals is always evolving. My wife and I have been creates the romanticized sensation of “falling in married almost 10 years now. The woman I love” within the psyche, the article explained. married, she’s changed and evolved, and so has Recent research done by doctors at my love for her, and I think it just continues to the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook evolve as we change. I love my wife so much University in New York State revealed the for the woman she has become and for the symptoms of “intense romantic love.” These woman that she’s going to be in the future.” include craving for union, focused attention, The research being done by psyincreased energy with the partner, motivation chologists gives scientific validity to the views to do things that make the partner happy, and sexual attraction and thinking about the partner of Lawrence and the Bednars. Psychology Today reported on a study suggesting that one parwhen apart. ticular brain region, the ventral tegmental area, However, BYUH students said they which is involved in a cognitive reward system feel love transcends physiological sentiments. rich in dopamine, is highly active in the minds Vania Tlapele, a junior from Mexico majoring of lovers who have been in a relationship for in graphic design, explained, “I think that love is one of the greatest blessings that we can have years, as well as those who have been together for weeks. This study suggests that passionate in our lives, and I think that love is not only an feelings of young love can and often do persist emotion, but it is also like a set of daily acts. in long-term relationships. You can’t say to a person that you love them
FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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Daters give advice for BYUH singles Find balance between being proactive and not rushing it B Y KAYLA HELM
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or singles wondering how to go about dating at BYU-Hawaii, students Brittany Liu, Annabelle Phillips, and Eric Hachenberger shared their words of wisdom to help singles better date. Liu is a senior from Roy, Utah, and an international cultural studies major. Phillips is a senior from Ohio majoring in marine biology. Hachenberger is a freshman and undeclared major from Austria. All three said they have dated recently and frequently.
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GETTING A DATE
Liu: “Girls need to be out there more and so do guys. It’s good to be talking to people.” Some guys will ask a girl out through text or will play it off as hanging out, which is a no go. Liu said, “I don’t accept being asked out through text. I’ll make him call me,” and being asked out in person is still preferred. Phillips said she doesn’t activly seek dates, but they happen naturally. “If you just have a nice personality, and you don’t blend into the wall like a fly, but you are very friendly with people–try to get to know them, talk to them and really pay attention–they will notice you treat them differently than other people would normally treat, them making that person feel really special.” Hachenberger: “For me, it is the direct approach. As on a mission, go up to somebody and ask the right questions. Ask someone out while you are having a conversation with them.” Hachenberger: “Another approach I found out is a little bit better is try to get to know the person a little bit before–have some condition of friendship–that way it makes the date a little bit easier.” Hachenberger: “If I meet someone at the temple or see them doing something extremely valuable, it makes the person very attractive on a spiritual level and on a character level.”
ON THE DATE
Liu: “My last date was going to watch the sunrise.” Phillips: “I would want to go paragliding, or doing something outdoorsy because it is one of my favorite things.” Activities like these are meaningful from a dating perspective because they reflect personality. Phillips: “I like walks, too, because you can talk. It can also be spontaneous and turn into a fun adventure. Is he going to take you KE ALAKA I
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through the streets of Laie? Maybe he is going to take you to the temple or the beach.” Hachenberger: “When I go on dates, I try to do fun activities – adventures. I love hikes and I love sports activities. Often I get to know people. I don’t frame it as a date, but I invite them to surfing or play sports. It could start as a group date but eventually you will want to go one-on-one.” If you want to get to know someone on your date, he said, “It is all about the topics you talk about.” Indicators that two people are getting a little closer are “when you can talk about your family; when you can talk about your life goals and dreams with each other; when you can talk about the challenges you have had; [and how] past experiences can shape you,” he said. If you want to make this happen, he said, “A movie doesn’t work. It is better if you are walking or doing something together.”
AFTER THE DATE
Liu: “After a date, some guys will just stop talking to you and get all weird and awkward if they are not still interested.” To which she added, “It is much better to be up front.” Hachenberger: “When it doesn’t work out, I try to keep it friendly and keep it open. Keep it normal.” Hachenberger: “Sometimes when you don’t know a person good enough, it becomes awkward afterwards. That is why friendship at the beginning is really important.”
BENEFITS OF DATING AT BYUH
Phillips: “There should never be a conversation-killer because if a person is from another place–which everyone is from a different place–then it’s so fun to find out about their home and the things they love about their home, and they can introduce you to new things.” Phillips: “There are unlimited things to do.You could have adventures on every date.” Hachenberger: “Everybody is a member … It is protection… When you are dating someone who is Mormon, the odds that the person values are similar to yours are much higher.” Hachenberger: “Eventually we are looking for that one person, and to be honest, I couldn’t really see myself marrying a person of another faith because the focus in life is so different and the values in life are so different.” Hachenberger: “It is vary culturally diverse so you can get to know different values and different viewpoints.”
DATING SMART
Liu: “Don’t hand your kisses out like pretzels.” Phillips: “Be careful.You don’t know if a guy is just dating you for a green card.” Phillips: “If you’re an 18-year-old girl and dating an RM, expect the guy will want to marry. Don’t just be thinking, ‘This is so much fun.’” Hachenberger:“The more you can start building a friendship the more you can date long-term and meaningfully.” All three suggest you try to find a balance between being proactive and not rushing it.
2016 B Y RACH E L RE E D
Single and ready to mingle, these students share what they are looking for in a date. Photo by Lexie Kapeliela, Kelsie Carlson, and Hector Periquin FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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ALEXIS BOWLES
CHARMAINE VILLEJO
DEEANA GOULDING
ESTHER CANDARI
HOME:
MAJOR: YEAR IN SCHOOL:
Social Work Sophomore
Psychocology
TESOL Education
Junior
Senior
Junior
Visual Arts & Psychology
AGE:
20
21
22
21
HEIGHT:
5’5”
5’2”
5’7”
5’6”
FAVORITE SONG:
Believe by Cher
In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer
Remedy by Adele
FAVORITE MOVIE:
Crazy, Stupid Love
Mean Girls
You’ve Got Mail
Jane Eyre
WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST TURNOFF?
Bad grammar
Guys who can’t communicate and are cocky
When someone puts others down
Cocky, acts one way around me and another around friends
WHAT ATTRACTS YOU IN A BOY
Tall, good smile, nose, goofy side, athletic, humorous
Men who love God more than anything and who can make me laugh
Confidence, maturity, outgoing, nice smile, intelligent
Lemonade by Jeremy Passion
SPIRIT ANIMAL:
An outgoing personality, talented, nice teeth
PETER PUERTAS
JOSEPH RUBEN II
CHRISTOPHER ANAYA (C. JOE)
GONG TOBCHAN
HOME:
MAJOR:
Marketing
Computer Science
Finance
Political Science
YEAR IN SCHOOL:
Sophomore
Freshman
Senior
Senior
AGE:
21
23
24
24
HEIGHT:
5’7”
5’9”
5’8”
5’7”
FAVORITE SONG:
Lemonade by Jeremy Passion
Missing You Like Crazy by Us The Duo
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Love Yourself by Justin Bieber
FAVORITE MOVIE:
Dark Knight
Bourne Trilogy
Forrest Gump
Remember the Titans
WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST TURNOFF?
When girls don’t shave their legs, or swearing
Rudeness, being complicated
They find it easier to get on their phone than to spark up a conversation or make a new friend.
If she lifts heavier than me
WHAT ATTRACTS YOU IN A GIRL
Her smile first and then her personality
Funny personality, outgoing, kindhearted, being simple
When she is so sweet to others and is serviceoriented to those she doesn’t know
Perfume, smile, weird like me, likes outdoors
SPIRIT ANIMAL:
Forshadowing Love Family connection began at birth, but couple dated later B Y A LEX MA LDO N AD O
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teven and Elizabeth Warner’s lives were intertwined even before birth. Steven Warner has been serving as the president of the Hawaii Honolulu Mission for the past two and a half years with Sister Warner faithfully standing by his side. Before they were born,their parents were friends while attending the University of Utah, and all transferred to the University of Minnesota to focus on graduate work. Sister Warner said, “When my mother was in labor [with me], President Warner’s father was on call at the hospital. He wasn’t an obstetrician, so he would run in and out between my father and my mother and would keep my father updated on the situation. Back in those days, fathers weren’t allowed in the delivery room.” When it came time for Sister Warner to be delivered, the only doctor around was her future father-in-law. The two families continued to stay close, with little Elizabeth in the family. “After that, both families eventually moved back to Salt Lake and we were raised in parallel,” said Sister Warner. “Our mothers played tennis together and our fathers were in different groups together, but we didn’t really see a whole lot of each other. He went to East High School and I went to Highland High School, but I would see him every now and then.” After his mission in Japan, President Warner began attending the University of Utah where he said he had a string of bad blind dates. After expressing his woes to his father about the dates, his dad asked, “Why don’t you call that Engar girl?” He heeded is father’s advice and took Sister Warner out to see a John Wayne movie and the two have been together ever since. After seven months of courtship, President and Sister Warner were attending a sorority dinner and dance in Midway, Utah, when he decided it was time to pop the question. “He pulled me away after dinner before dessert, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I had no idea he it was coming,” said Sister Warner. They were engaged for 10 months and married in the Salt Lake Temple on March 14, 1973. Their 43-year marriage have given them five children and 15 grandchildren.
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President Steven Warner and Sister Elizabeth Warner grew up together in Utah and now head the Hawaii Honolulu Mission. Photo by Yukimi Kishi
From Jacob Stewart’s experience, a junior from Canada studying marketing, Valentine’s Day is the worst on the mission because he “was with dudes the whole time during the most romantic day of the year.” His unforgettable Valentine’s Day experience was when he was in ninth grade. Stewart explained, “I Myspaced a girl I liked on V-day, and I asked her to choose which guy she liked out of three options. And she said No. 3, which was me. I brought her flowers the next day and was so happy when she told me she liked me.” Megumi Suita, a freshman from Japan studying computer science and graphic design, recalled the first time she tried to celebrate Valentine’s Day when she was in junior high. “It ended up being the worst experience because I spent a lot of time on researching and preparing B Y DA NNA O S U M O and a lot of money for ingredients to make a chocolate cake for the guy I liked. I baked it the day before, but the next morning when I woke up, the cake was so hard and I ended up not giving the cake to him,” she said. Her favorite Valentine’s Day was in high school, when she was YU-Hawaii students said they feel Valentine’s Day is full of high able to make a good chocolate cake to give to the guy she liked. She expectations and awkward situations. Male or female, single or atfound out he felt the same way. “We became a couple on Valentine’s Day,” tached, everyone expects Valentine’s Day to be a special day. But the holi- she continued. day can be a let-down or one of the happiest experiences of their lives. Aaron Chang, a sophomore from Taiwan studying accounting, Gayla Prakash, a freshman in international cultural studies said because his sister’s birthday falls on Valentine’s Day, he always finds from Fiji, was disappointed one Valentine’s when she had a date to her the day enjoyable. However, Chang’s worst memory of Valentine’s Day high school’s dance. “My date picked me up late, and he didn’t come was when he tried to talk to his ex-girlfriend. “I had just broken up with dressed. He didn’t bring flowers or chocolates, and he really didn’t her back in January and on Valentine’s Day, I tried to talk to her and she do anything special as my Valentine’s date. He just picked me up and didn’t want to talk to me,” said Chang. dropped me off at the dance and then went off with his friends. Towards Trisha Panzo, a freshman psychology major from Qatar, had a the end of the dance, he came up and asked if I was ready to leave,” bad experience one Valentine’s Day when all of her friends received flowPrakash recalled. ers and she didn’t. “So I went to buy myself flowers,” admitted Panzo. Not all of Prakash’s past Valentine’s were a disappointment, However, there was a different Valentine’s Day when she got and she recounts her best Valentine’s was when she went to a ward dance 15 flowers from different guys. She said it made her feel really loved and with her crush. “I didn’t know he liked me and he didn’t know I liked cared for. him. But after the dance, he gave me big boxes of chocolates, red roses, “My worst Valentine’s Day was seeing everyone else being perfume and then we went star gazing that night,” said Prakash. sweet to each other and holding hands when I didn’t have anyone,” shared In Japan, women give gifts like homemade desserts to men on Sarah Acobera, a freshman from the Philippines studying psychology. “My Valentine’s Day, according to Daiki Sato, a sophomore from Japan study- best was when my mom and I had a mother-daughter date for Valentine’s, ing accounting. “Men are expecting gifts from the ladies, so my worst and she took me to go shopping, and we got our nails and hair done. It V-day was when I did not receive any gifts at all, and the best is when I was just fun,” Acobera said. get a lot of gifts from girls.”
The ups and downs of love
Students share their best and worst Valentine’s Day
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Students’ worst experiences include dates who ignored them and failed attempts at romance. Some best experiences include finding love on Valentine’s Day and star gazing. Photo courtesy of pixabay
FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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Technology is changing the dating game Scientists say text and social media have become acceptable parts of courting B Y TAY LOR P OLS O N
Courtship and meaningful relationships have become both more and less complicated because of new communication technology, according to recent social science research. While conducting a survey for Match.com in 2013, researchers discovered 23% of singles under the age of 30 used a traditional phone call to initiate a first date; 37% preferred face-to-face interaction; and 32% favored text messaging. In contrast, for singles over 30, 52% would choose phone-calling; 28% would like face-to-face interaction; and 8% would opt for text messaging. This shift in how people communicate is largely attributed to an exponential increase in smartphone use and ownership. Data collected by the Pew Research Center indicated the portion of American adults who used a smartphone increased from 17% to 58% between 2010 and 2014, and 83% of older teenagers carry a smartphone everywhere they go. In his book, “Modern Romance,” actor and comedian Aziz Ansari explained, “Younger folks live in a text-heavy environment and this shapes their perception of what is appropriate.” A poll of adolescents publicized by The Week revealed 67% of teens said they would accept an invitation to attend prom via text message.
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For members of the Baby Boomer Generation, this approach may seem somewhat cold, impersonal, and cowardly, but this research suggests Millennials are less critical of this method. People tend to be far more intolerant of mistakes made via text than they are when engaged in live dialogue, said MIT social psychologist Sherry Turkle. She elaborated on this issue in her book “Alone Together.” She argued, “Younger people are so used to text-based communications, where they have time to gather their thoughts and precisely plan what they are going to say, that they are losing their ability to have spontaneous conversation.” This partially explains why millennials often resort to messaging rather than phone calls and live conversations. Ansari said, “As a medium, it’s safe to say texting facilitates flakiness and rudeness and many other personality traits that would not be expressed in a phone call or an in-person interaction.” He strongly suggested singles should avoid sending generic messages. Face-to-face interaction is still important to some students. Kayla Helm, a senior majoring in peacebuilding and communication from Las Vegas, Nev., said, “You don’t really get the body language of the person. So, if they’re trying to get to know you through messaging, you don’t really know who they are, and you can’t really tell what their mo-
Reportedly, 67% of today’s teens said they would accept an invitation to attend prom via text message, according to a poll published by The Week. This practice is frowned upon by Baby Boomers, but Millenials are fully embracing the technology takeover. Photo by AP
tives are. It’s just a less comfortable and less personable way of pursuing a relationship.” Messaging can magnify variables that complicate social interaction. One of the most frustrating aspects of text communication with potential dates is the waiting game. This “science of waiting” has been termed by social psychologists as the “scarcity principle,” reports Psychology Today. By playing hard to get, one becomes more desirable when they make themselves appear less available. This mind game is nothing new. Socrates, the Greek philosopher, once said when counseling a young woman, “You must prompt [interested individuals] by behaving as a model of propriety, by a show of reluctance to yield, and by holding back until they are as keen as can be; for the same gifts are much more to the recipient than when they are offered before they are desired.” While social media affects how one plays hard to get, Time Magazine’s lists top social media turn-offs: Emotionally dramatic posts, excessive selfies, and when your current date asks you to un-friend an ex. Suet Mui Ma, a junior majoring in psychology from Hong Kong, said, “On social media, like Instagram, people just post their pretty images. For girls, they can edit their photos and become more appealing.”
Belle Leung, a senior majoring in psychology from Hong Kong, explained, “When we have girl talk, we will look at pictures and we will talk about what that girl or that guy’s appearance is like. We talk about what type of people we feel are attractive.” Ansari stated this “research” on a potential date before meeting them can be both beneficial and harmful because it “gives…clues about people’s interests and character before meeting them,” while this can also “deprive them, and their date, of the fun of discovering something new. The same technology that allows us to connect with [others] also helps us figure out whether they post cute pictures of baby elephants or something more malicious, like a blog chronicling their latest elephantpoaching expedition in Botswana.” Dooree Moon, a senior majoring in communication and humanities from South Korea, said, “I’m in a long-distance relationship, so [social media] makes things a lot easier... If you’re dating somebody, you can message that someone within social media and then you can talk with that person. On Facebook, you have Facebook calls, and you can use video chat. So, to me it’s really one of the biggest mediums I use in terms of dating, and I think it’s convenient in that aspect.” FEBRUARY 11, 2016
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What type of
BY U-Hawaii Valentine are you?
BY M I CH AE L M O RTO N
16
1. What Valentine’s Day dinner setting would you prefer?
5. Which would you prefer to give as a gift to your Valentine?
a. b. c. d.
a. Flowers b. A handmade card c. Chocolate d. Floating lanterns
Romantic dinner on the beach Seven Brothers Pizza and Netflix A nice homemade meal
2. What Valentine’s Day dinner would you prefer?
6. Which type of chocolate would you prefer?
a. b. c. d.
a. b. c. d.
Fettuccini alfredo 10 oz. sirloin Shrimp sautéed in butter and garlic Lemon chicken, steamy broccoli, and rice
Dark gourmet chocolate Girl scout thin mints Something filled with caramel goodness You can never go wrong with milk chocolate
3. What Valentine’s Day activity would you prefer?
7. Which movie would you prefer to watch on Valentine’s Day?
a. b. c. d.
a. b. c. d.
Sunset and a long walk on the beach A kayak adventure to Chinaman’s Hat Truth or dare with a group of friends Surfing until sunset
Roman Holiday The Amazing Spider-Man Harry Potter 50 First Dates
4. Which would you prefer to receive as a gift for Valentine’s Day?
Score Key
a. Flowers b. Giant Costco teddy bear c. Chocolate covered Macadamia d. Nothing; just quality time with my Valentine
a. Is worth 4 points each b. Is worth 3 points each c. Is worth 2 points each d. Is worth 1 points each
KE ALAKA I
1-7 Aloha love 8-14 Happily in love 15-21 Twitterpated 22-28 Love-struck