Connecting through digital dating

FEATURE Connecting through digital dating

Title IX: Dating apps are good platforms to meet people but should be used cautiously

BY CARLENE COOMBS

Dating apps can lead to relationships and even marriages, but users should still take precautions, according to people at the Title IX office at BYU–Hawaii. Students said although they have made friends and had successful relationships, dating apps can also have their downsides such as impressions based on looks and the dangers of not knowing someone’s intentions. “Be careful,” said Elder Richard Bludorn, a senior missionary in the Title IX office. He said meeting people through a dating app “can be a really good experience, or it can be a horrible experience. You can have 10 good [experiences], but one bad one would wreck your life. That’s why it’s important to be careful. I know a lot of success stories [and] bad stories.” Dana Plomgren, a junior from California majoring in conservation biology, said while she had good experiences using dating apps in the past, there were always safety precautions she would follow.

“I never meet a guy in a private place. I always make sure the first couple of dates are in very public places – restaurants, malls, places like that because you never know who you’re going to meet up with. I don’t meet up with people until I’ve been talking to them online for a while.”

Emeline Manakofua, an intern at the Title IX office, shared it’s important to tell a friend when you’re going on a date and where you’ll be.

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“I think it’s good to inform students when they go out, notify someone. At least have a person know where they’re at, where they’re going,” she said. “A tip I heard somewhere is if you’re out, turn on the location on your phone just in case something happens.”

According to information from the Title IX office, during 2019 in the United States, there were 16,000 abductions, 100 murders, and thousands of rapes linked to online dating.

“You can have great experiences, but [have] one bad one, and you can end up [a statistic]. We don’t want that to happen,” said Bludorn.

Deylan Gudiel, a sophomore from Oregon majoring in graphic design, shared while he finds dating apps generally safe, he believes men have the privilege of feeling secure more than women.

“As a guy, I can say I think it’s totally safe, but I don’t have the perspective of being a woman. I haven’t had the experiences of feeling objectified. I haven’t gotten cat-called or followed or creepy stuff like that which most girls have experienced at least once in their life, which makes them cautious… but I’m a man, so I don’t know that mentality.”

Plomgren said dating apps can be a suitable method for meeting people. She even met her boyfriend on Tinder.

“I think [dating apps] are a really good resource. In the real world, you don’t really know who is ready for a relationship… But dating apps, you can be very specific about what you’re looking for and find people you are similar to.

“On a dating app, I can immediately tell someone I’m interested and something about me before they decide they don’t like me.”

Gudiel said although he has made friends through dating apps, he believes they also can be shallow and focus on looks rather than someone’s personality.

“It’s hard because if you’re genuinely trying to meet people, [profiles] are kind of just a pretty face on a screen,” he said.

While it can be hard to judge someone on their profile only, Gudiel said he finds dating apps useful while traveling to meet new people and make friends.

“I’ve met people in Greece. I’ve met people in Bali… I will say I like [dating apps] for that… For traveling, it’s really great. It allows you to connect with people you would have never met otherwise.”

To contact Title IX office with concerns, students can email titleix@byuh.edu, call 808-675-4819, or go to reportaconcern.byuh.edu.

Graphics by Bruno Maynez

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