February 12, 2015
Volume 110: Issue 4
KE ALAKA‘ I
THE LEADER
Valentine’s Day issue
PAGE 10-11
Finding love in 4 minutes Students try out psychological study
PAGE 12
Flirty vs. Nice Read the signs that he or she is putting on “the moves”
PAGE 16-17
Petals over perfume Professors reveal the power of the flower
KE ALAKA I February 12, 2015 • Volume 110: Issue 4 EDITORS-IN-CVHIEF
ADVISOR
H o m e r Wo l m a n R ebe c c a S a ba lo n e s
Le e an n Lambe r t ART DIRECTOR
COPY EDITORS E m i ly H a lls C a m ro n S t o c k f o rd H a n n a h Pa c k a rd
He cto r Pe r iqu in
MULTIMEDIA JOURNALISTS
ART & GRAPHICS Lau re n Ste imle Jo h n D iaz E th an T sai Mo n ica R u balcava Je f f McLe o d
Alyssa Walhood Jared Roberts Jessica Everett Matthew Roberts Trenton McCullough Morgynne Tora Kaitlin Broyles Raechel Reed Mackenzie McLeod Siyang Chen Alyssa Troyanek Alizabeth Apgood AD MANAGER Jo s h u a M a s o n
INTERNS Samo n e I so m He cto r Pe r iqu in
PHOTOGRAPHERS Ke lsie C arlso n Mo n ica R u balcava Milan i Ho VIDEOGRAPHERS Je f f C o llin s Vlad T ro p n ikov Jo sh u a Maso n Yan -Fu C h e n
CONTACT
E-mail: ke a l a k a i @by uh .e du Ad Information: ke a l a k aiads @ gmail.c o m Phone: ( 8 0 8 ) 6 7 5 - 3 6 9 4 Fax: ( 8 0 8 ) 6 7 5 - 3 4 9 1 Office: C a m p u s , A l o h a C e n te r 134 N E W S C E N TE R
PUBLISHER
BOX 1920 BYUH LAIE, HI 96762
P r in t Se r vic e s
Editorial, photo submissions & distrib u t i o n i n q u i r i e s : ke a l a k a i @ by u h . e d u . To s u b s c r i b e t o t h e R S S F E E D o r t o view additional ar ticles, g o t o ke a l a k a i . by u h . e d u .
ON THE COVER: Students stare into the camera. To know who, go to page 10 and read the story of a psychological study of love.
Share with us your photo of the week and we may feature it in our next issue. e-mail us at kealakai@byuh.edu
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P. 4-5 An Enduring Love Story
P. 6 Valentine’s Day on a budget
P. Fo to
10-11 our minutes P.13 Girls and love diamonds
P.14 The Friend Zone
P. 15 Popping the question
P. 16-17 Showing your status with a flower
Table of
CONTENTS
FEBRUARY 12, 2015
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Eternal Possibilities The Nielsons unravel sweet memories and lessons of love learned through five decades
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BY JESSIC A EV ERET T
fter 43 years of being married and 50 years together in love, BYU-Hawaii Health Center Dr. Douglas Nielson and his wife, Madelyn, said the key to their marriage is the honor they give to the covenants of the temple and the blessings they have received from them. The best part of their marriage, they said, is their five children and their temple covenants. “Our greatest thing is having been sealed together in the temple,” said Doug. “Keeping our covenants and remembering the promises has gotten us through many, many hard times.” The two recounted the beginning of their story. Douglas Nielson and Madelyn Hollingshead met at Beaver High School in Beaver, Utah, in 1965. At the beginning of her first year in high school, Madelyn was a J.V. cheerleader and Doug was the star J.V. basketball player. They were always around each other, and one night after a school assembly, Doug swooped in and began flirting with Madelyn. “It was one of those love at first sight things,” he said. After love at first sight, they went on a date. She told the story: “My sister let me borrow her pretty new sweater and skirt, and we met at the school dance. I danced with him and afterward he took me to dinner that night.” She ended, “He kissed me goodnight on the porch. Then I stood by my bed and I knew I had just been with the man I was going to marry someday. It was amazing.” Having dated through high school, she waited for him while he was in Taiwan on his LDS mission. She said one of her sweetest memories happened in the Summer of 1971, as Elder Nielson came home from his mission. The two went for a hike together up the mountains in Beaver. They stood at the top of the
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mountains, and “he told me that he knew he loved me. He really loved me,” she said. He described the memory as well: “The sun was setting and the full moon was coming up over the mountains. I was standing there in awe of the glories of God’s creations and overwhelmed with my love for her and the eternal possibilities of us being together.” She was on the Cougarette dance team at BYU until she traded that title for “wife” on July 21, 1972 in Minersville, Utah. “It wasn’t hard for me,” she said about giving up the extracurricular activities she was a part of. “I loved him.” That love carried them through all manner of hard times, they said. “One of the important things I want to share about our marriage is that without [Madelyn] there, I would have never made it through medical school,” He said. “It’s the power of the faithful, devoted companion.” Looking at Madelyn, he said, “There have been many joyous and happy times together, but the thing that we look at that has strengthened us is the power of the trials we have faced together.” Two years ago, Madelyn had a stroke. For a while, she did not have the use of her left arm or leg. Because of their devotion to their temple promises and to each other, they have been able to remain together and get through this tremendous trial, he said. She added, “He told me he would always take care of me.” Doug said by going to the temple together and remembering the promises made there, their marriage and love will last through any trials that come their way.
Vintage Love
Mr. and Mrs. Nielson’s Wedding Invitation (top right). Doug Neilson and Madelyn Hollingshead in a newspaper article (top left) . Mr. and Mrs. Nelson’s Wedding Day (bottom right). Photos courtesy of the Neilsons.
FEBRUARY 12, 2015
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Valentine’s Day on a Budget Helpful tips for lovers to save BY ALI A PG O O D
Valentine’s Day can be expensive when you’re trying to spoil that special someone. But as broke college students, there are ways to accomplish showing your love on a budget. By doing small, creative things, you can show your affection on Valentine’s Day. “A bouquet of flowers can make a girl’s day,” said Emily Brown, an education major from Idaho. Bringing a rose to that girl you have had your eye on can be the start to a great Valentine’s Day. Brooke Dillingham, an art major from California, said, “Sometimes the simplest of things turn out to be the best when it comes to romance.” Don’t over think your plans, keep things fun and relaxed. Start out your night with a nice dinner or romantic picnic. There’s no need to go all out. Making a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and heading out to the beach for a sunset picnic is more than acceptable and only costs a few dollars -- but the experience? Priceless. If you feel like getting out of town, head over to Kaneohe for a bite to eat. Don’t forget to document your night by stopping at the mall and taking some pics in the photo booth. Valentine’s Day isn’t the time to show off by buying that special someone a gift you can’t afford. Although you would like to be able to go all out for the person you love, it’s not always possible or needed. If you are a limited budget, consider making something. Here are some additional ideas for Valentine’s Day gifts from familylife.com. • Make a book about why you love your special someone and why you are thankful for him/her. The woman who sent this idea wrote, “He loved it! Said it was the best gift he has ever gotten. And it helped me to focus on the things I love about my husband and not his shortcomings.” • Take your sweetie on a scavenger hunt. Ask him/ her to answer riddles to find the clues to items that you placed somewhere around town. The last item should give instructions that lead to your Valentine’s Day activities. • Enjoy a candlelight dinner for two at home and watch a romantic movie. • Give your honey a rose while reading a love poem. • Order food from a take-out restaurant and have a 6
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Photo by Milani Ho
picnic for all the Valentines in your home or apartment to include everyone. • Make a meal with symbols of love. Examples: Write I love you with string beans or make a cake in the shape of a heart. • Hide little heart candies in your special someone’s shoes, coat, car, etc. The woman who suggested this said she has been doing this for decades. “Now a couple of the grandkids help me with delight.” • Fill a jar with Valentine candy and notes about why you love the person. • Write a poem for your sweetheart and frame it. • On individual note cards, write why you love your honey. Insert these cards in a small photo album. The woman who suggested this idea began her album with a honeymoon picture and introductory note card, and ended it with a love note. • Make a special “14 Reasons I Love You” Valentine’s Day breakfast for your sweetheart. On his/her plate, leave a letter or card listing 14 reasons why you love them. Whether it’s a treat, a card, or a piece of jewelry, it will make their day as long as it comes from the heart. The most important thing is to enjoy the time spent with your significant other. Experts say that is what really matters.
History of
Valentine’s Day B Y MA T T H E W R OBERT S
Valentine’s Day falls on what was once an ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia, a day dedicated to the Roman god Faunus, and the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. 200s CE - Emperor Claudius outlaws marriage for young soldiers. However a Christian priest by the name of Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages. His actions were discovered and Claudius order he be put to death. 400s CE - Pope Gelasius declares Feb. 14 as St. Valentine’s Day in honor for Saint Valentine to make the pagan holiday disappear into Christianity. 1300s CE - Saint Valentine’s Day becomes associated with love and romance. 1415 CE - Oldest known valentine was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife. Several years later, King Henry V hired a writer to compose a valentine note. 1600s CE - Europe accepts the tradition of exchanging valentines, primarily England and France. 1840s CE - Esther A. Howland, “the Mother of the Valentine,” began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Today, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year. Present - Now more than $448 million are spent on candy the week before Feb. 14. Also 58 million pounds of chocolate are bought during the Valentine’s Day week, and 150 million Valentine’s Day cards and gifts sent each year.
(All info from History.com)
FEBRUARY 12, 2015
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Qi Xi: A day for romance in China Chinese holiday of love rooted in traditional legend B Y S IYA NG CHEN
V
alentine’s Day is not the only holiday that symbolizes and used the skin to fly after her. When he was about to catch love. China has long had Qi Xi set aside as s day to up with his wife, the Queen-Mother took her gold hairpins and commemorate love. slashed the sky, making a billowy river appear in front of Niu Li Yang, a junior in business from China, who got Lang, separating him and his wife. married at BYU-Hawaii in June 2013, shared his opinion about They looked at each other with tears in their eyes Qi Xi and Valentine’s Day; “I personally think there is no differ- but never got closer. Day by day, their loyalty to love touched ence between Valentine’s Day and Qi Xi, because both are the the souls of magpies, so thousands of magpies came to build a specific time for expressing love. Chinese people would like to bridge for them to meet each other. The Queen-Mother heard have a romantic date on either one with their lovers. We may tale of the bridge, and eventually her heart softened enough to feel these days are the best time to do something special like allow them to meet each other once a year on the seventh day making a proposal or getting married. I think it is important to of the seventh month of the lunar calendar. Hence their meeting have this kind of holiday because more and more people don’t date has been called “Qi Xi,” as “Qi” is the pronunciation of express their love to others, and this “seven” in Chinese. On that day, is a good opportunity to do so.” poets write love poems, lovers raise “I personally think there is no Niu Lang, the main lanterns, and others celebrate the difference between Valentine’s Day character of the Chinese myth that day in various ways in hopes for a and Qi Xi because both are the started the Qi Xi celebrations, took romantic, happy and sweet love. specific time for expressing love.” the opportunity to show his love to Yingchun Chen, a junior - Li Yang his wife in a big way. In the myth, in EXS from Taiwan, shared her Niu Lang lived with his brother until opinion about Qi Xi and Valenhis brother got married to a horrible tine’s Day: “Both of them are very woman who drove Niu Lang out. He then lived by himself herd- romantic, but the story of Qi Xi seems more sad. Now, most of ing cattle and farming. the people in Taiwan celebrate Valentine’s Day more than Qi Later on, a fairy from heaven called Zhi Nv came down Xi. Most of the young people don’t even know where the Qi secretly to the earth, saw this hard working boy and fell in love Xi came from and don’t know the story.” Chen explained she with him. They got married and started their happy life together. believes it is good to remember and practice traditional Chinese Soon Zhi Nv gave birth to a boy and a girl. A few years later, culture. their cow was about to die from old age, and suddenly it said Tandric Bench, a sophomore from Indonesia in busito Niu Lang, “Keep my skin after I die. Sooner or later you will ness finance, said, “I don’t have a girlfriend so I don’t care about need it for an emergency.” Valentine’s Day too much. But, comparing Valentine’s Day with As Zhi Nv enjoyed her life on the earth, the QueenQi Xi, I think the creation of Qi Xi was more related to love and Mother of Heaven found out and came to take her back. As couples. The Qi Xi story has stronger romantic emotions than his wife was being taken away, Niu Lang remembered the cow Valentine’s Day.”
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e’s All That
BYUH ladies dish on what they look for most in boys B Y MA C K E N Z I E MC L E O D
Girls just want to have fun, as the song says, but some girls want more. The ladies of BYU-Hawaii shared the lists of qualities they look for in Mr. Right. The top three trending qualities included sense of humor, reliability and confidence. Bel Credo, a freshman studying biology from the Philippines, said, “I love funny guys because they make you happy and laugh all the time, and there aren’t a lot of awkward moments.” Other girls echoed Credo’s thoughts when describing what they want in a guy. When asked why he thought sense of humor was so important, Caleb Earnshaw, a junior from New Hampshire studying business marketing, said, “Girls like a guy who they can trust to consistently make them laugh and smile. When we smile, we are happy. Girls like it when they smile because it makes them feel beautiful. Girls love to feel beautiful. If a guy can help them feel that way, they are in.” Besides humour, reliability was crucial for Taylor LeBlanc, a senior from California studying biology. She said, “In the words of Tupac, ‘You gotta learn to hold ya own’ because later in life you want to be sure he can handle the hard times that will come.” The feeling of relying on your man to be protected was also important for Katelyn Kekauoha, a freshman from New Mexico
studying HTM. She recounted a story of her boyfriend taking on that protective role in a fight. “When I saw him fighting for my love as he gave a guy a concussion, it made me feel so much more attracted to him,” Kekauoha said. She knew her man would have her back in all situations. When talking about first impressions, confidence and sincerity were common characteristics. Ariel Swainston, a junior majoring in HTM, said, “I need a guy who has confidence and will keep me on my toes with his wit.” Emily Thompson, senior in graphic design from Arizona, said, “It’s a red flag if they are running after every girl. The ones who are genuine and listen to you when you first meet them are the good ones.” Recently engaged student Catherine Castillo, a senior studying marketing from Florida, talked about what caught her attention about her fiance. “Boldness and confidence are important. He was straightforward about going on dates. His intentions were clear. What set him apart from the rest was his willingness to put everything on the line. It paid off.” Whether it’s during that first impression or making an effort to spend more time with guys, the girls at BYUH are always keeping their eyes out for Mr. Right.
CONFIDENCE ELIA
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Pictured are Jill Baylon, Sara Black, Peri Cook, and Blaine Lamoglia. Photo by Kelsie Calrson
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Top to bottom: Johnny Diaz, Peri Cook, Luke Searle, Monsinee Sirikosinaporn open their eyes for love. Photos by Monica Rubalcava.
4 MINUTES TO LOVE
BY T REN TON MCCU LLOU GH
Experiment proves it isn’t always rude to stare Two BYU-Hawaii students sat down on Feb. 5 to stare straight into each other’s eyes and see if they could fall in love in less than an hour. Over 20 years ago, Dr. Arthur Aron, a psychology professor, made two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. A New York Times writer recently wrote how she and “a university acquaintance” fell in love after doing the experiment. The study starts with two people asking each other 36 progressively personal questions. Once the questions are over, the two look into each other’s eyes for four minutes. Skeptical, yet willing to volunteer for the experiment, Savvi Jensen, a sophomore from Washington, and Johnny Diaz, a senior from the Philippines, asked a select few of the set questions to each other and then gazed into each other’s eyes for the suggested four minutes. When the study was explained to Jensen, she voiced her opinions of simultaneous excitement and suspicion. “I thought it wasn’t true. I mean, how can someone
fall in love after only knowing someone for a few minutes and then staring at them? But, I wanted to try it,” said Jensen. Diaz reasoned his way through his doubts. “I think you can control your emotions,” he said. “If you want to fall in love, then you can fall in love. But it will be fun, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up.” The two sat in chairs awaiting the start of the experiment, and Johnny was the first to ask a question. With each question, the couple visibly relaxed and learned more of the other’s past experiences and fears. The questions varied and became increasingly personal. For example, they began with questions such as, “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” and “What is your most treasured memory?” and progressed to “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.” After the questions had been asked and answered, the two stared into each other’s eyes for four minutes to complete
the experiment. They turned their chairs and inched closer to each other, and started the timer. Although this stage for some might be awkward, as they began to reflect upon what was happening, they said they began to feel more comfortable. “That was the longest four minutes of my life, but it wasn’t awkward,” said Jensen. “Just staring into a someone’s eyes who was a stranger for that long – I didn’t know what to do but smile.” Diaz had a similar experience. “The questions built a relationship between the two people. It built a friendly environment and connection,” he said. “In normal circumstances, I would never ask these questions to a person I just met. It was a unique experience. I think I will try this on all my first dates.” Jensen added, “I’d recommend it to a friend looking for love. It is a very interesting experiment. If nothing else, it will definitely change our relationship, even if we don’t fall in love.”
FEBRUARY 12, 2015
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THE TELL-TALE SIGNS OF FLIRTING How to know if someone is putting on the moves BY KAIT LIN BRO YLES
You exchange smiles with a cute member of the opposite sex. Is it fate? Will you fall in love and have 10 babies in the Celestial Kingdom? Or were they just being nice? Here are some tips to tell if someone is just being polite or if they are putting the moves on you. The “nice” distance between two people during conversation varies depending on a variety of things like culture and social background. However, if they are flirting with you, they might try to “pull a move” to get close to you. People generally want to be close to someone they are interested in.
PersonalSpace
Smiling
Going along with eye contact, it’s polite to smile during a conversation. It shows you are interested in what that person is talking about. But, if they are constantly smiling, not just a “Yeah, that’s cool” smile, then it could be a sign that they are into you.
E Y E c o n t a c t It is considered polite to make eye contact with someone when you are talking, but what takes it to the next level is winking. “Winking is always flirting,” wrote Cosmopolitan.com. Sometimes when they want to slyly let you know that they are into you, they will wink. However, Cosmopolitan.com warns to not mistake winking for what is called “bad blinking.”
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The “Get-to-know-you” game: Questions like “What’s your name? Where are you from? What are you studying?” are typical “making-conversation-so-this-isn’t-awkward” questions. However, when they ask questions that go beyond the surface, it could mean they are interested in you. If they express unusual excitement over similar tastes, it may be a sign they are thinking on a date you’ll have things to talk about.
Photo by Milani Ho. Lizzy Saylor flirts with Chris Wiley.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend? Students share their opinions about engagement bling BY RAC H EL REED
T
Sarah Sze Wan is recently engaged to Carston Feigleson. Photo by Monica Rubalcava
he scene is set. Underneath a swaying palm tree, the boyfriend bends down on one knee, and with a smile, he pulls out a little black box. Opening it and asking a few words, the girlfriend replies yes, and he puts the ring on her finger. The ring is a beautiful golden band with a glittering diamond in the center. Putting it on, the girl has now sent a signal to the rest of the world that she is taken. At BYU-Hawaii, it’s not uncommon for people to meet, fall in love, and get married. Scrolling through Facebook, you may find engagement announcements that your roommate from two semesters ago is now engaged to the woman he dated for three months. The picture of the diamond ring is sure to be included, with attached comments of how beautiful it is. When asked if diamonds were a girl’s best friend, most BYUH students said no. “They aren’t my best friend,” said Savannah Tobey from Washington and a freshman in marine biology. Some students, like Tobey, would not care for diamond-studded jewelry, but when it came to diamond rings, most said they would want one. Every student has their preferences about diamond rings. While some said they would like a large diamond situated on their ring, some said they don’t care at all for them. But students have even opted out of diamonds for their engagement rings. Edward Wade Fowler, a recently engaged junior from Colorado majoring in ICS, said they didn’t buy a large diamond for their engagement. “Diamonds are nothing but a marketing tool,” Fowler said. Kaliki Unga, a senior majoring in history from Hauula, said he would get a diamond ring, but otherwise said, “I would never wear diamonds. I have never been attracted to the bling factor.” There are still plenty of women who will wear diamonds. “It’s pretty common for women to wear diamonds. It comes off as a fad,” said Charlotte Sudweeks, an undecided freshman from Washington DC. “I like diamonds,” she added. Jenny Kintaro, a sophomore majoring in exercise and sports science from Maryland, commented about diamonds, “It’s a normal thing to get. Diamonds are easier to wear because they match everything.” Whether it’s on a ring or set in bling, diamonds are not a hot commodity for college students. If you are set to be engaged, find a jeweler and get the ring (whether with or without a diamond) that is just right for you. FEBRUARY 12, 2015
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he friend zone is a confusing, yet all-too-common, place single students find themselves in. “The friend zone is a despicable void that, if entered in, becomes a dangerous hole never to be escaped from,” said Craig Campbell, a senior majoring in ICS peacebuilding from Utah. This sentiment is shared by other students who explained their understanding of the friend zone and how to get out of it. Connor Shepard, an undeclared freshman from California, said people are “unwillingly sent” to the friend zone. Campbell said people put their would-be suitors in the friend zone for a couple of different reasons. “One, they are afraid of commitment, and two, they are not interested.” Micah Fegai, an undeclared freshman from Laie, explained the friend zone develops when “one side of the friendship develops feelings, and the other sees it just as a friendship.” Girls are plagued by the friend zone as well, as Natalie DeMartini, a senior majoring in psychology from California, attested. She described the friend zone as, “My life. A constant state I am in.” However, DeMartini said she believes there is a
way out. “Take a leap of faith, man up and just do it,” she said. There are ways to get out of this “desolate hole,” according to Shepard, who said being forward and unpredictable can always help. He also suggests “getting a cannon and shooting yourself out of the zone.” Campbell shared another strategy for escaping the friend zone: “Grab that person you love and kiss them on the mouth. That way they can say yes or no.” He went on to say, “Your cards are on the table and it’s up to them to make the choice. You will either enter the relationship or you might not have a friend anymore.” Signs that you are officially out of the friend zone are different for each person. Campbell said when you are “in a relationship or you are no longer their friend,” you are definitely out of the friend zone. Shepard, however, said he believes a sign you have moved out of the zone is something small, like “playing footsies.” Ultimately, Fegai said the opportunity to get out of the friend zone “is do or die; if you don’t, you will never know.”
The Friend Zone. Population: You BY ALYSSA T RO YAN EK
Students share their advice for becoming “more than friends”
Photo by Kelsie Carlson
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Down on one knee
Lovebirds pop the question in various styles BY SAM O N E ISO M
S
arah Sze Wan, a junior in communications from Hong Kong, became engaged to Carston Feigleson, a junior in supply chain and math from Utah, on Jan. 19, 2015. “We went to Sunset Beach. I thought it was just for relaxing, but then he prepared a picnic and sang songs, like ‘I can’t help falling in love with you.’ Then he kneeled down and proposed.” She had just returned from her mission on Dec. 10, “but all together it’s been two and a half years. I think it’s a good time,” she said.
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arek Buss, a senior in political science from Wyoming, said of his marriage proposal, “She asked me.” He met his wife, Kaylee Buss, a junior in vocal performance from Colorado, “on a Saturday. I knew right away I wanted to marry her, but thought that was crazy. She actually had a boyfriend. We saw each other every day and on the 5th day I asked her ‘what’s our relationships status?’ since she had a boyfriend and everything. She said, ‘I prayed about it and I know I’m not going to marry him. I’m going to marry you.’ And we decided to get married six months later so we could get to know each other. Crazy but amazing. Later, when I got the ring, I asked her on her birthday, but we had already planned the wedding.”
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enali Grawe, a senior in emergency medicine from Texas, and Craig Hatch, a sophomore in biology from Oregon, were engaged on New Year’s Eve at her family’s home in Texas. She said, “Craig went to place the firecrackers on the ground so I could light them, but he kept moving them around so much it was driving me nuts! He grabbed my arm as I was walking away and there was just enough light from inside the house I could see a box! I started losing it and said, ‘No! No! No way! Are you really doing this now!?! Oh my gosh!’ Then I shut up because he started talking. He said something along the line of: ‘You make me happy everyday, and I want to be the one to make you happy each and every day too. Will you marry me?’ and opened the box (that had a light on the inside so I could see it!) He got me so good! Apparently then I said, ‘Are you freaking kidding me!?!’ And then I remembered that I needed to say yes so I wouldn’t give him a heart attack. Ah, man, it was great. I had no idea! None!”
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erry and Sue Harris have been married since June 4, 1969. “In those days, people didn’t really talk about getting engaged or married, so I didn’t know he was going to ask,” said Sue Harris. “We were going to BYU at Provo. We had been dating for a year, and one night, we went to movies and dinner—which we did quite a bit—and afterward we hiked up to the lookout, so we could see the whole city. We were just standing there, talking, when he went down on one knee and asked if he could marry me. I said, ‘Are you sure you really want me to?’ and he said yes so I said yes.” Photos by Hector Periquin and BYUH website
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avis Rumble, a recent graduate in business management from Fiji, and Patrick Rumble, a senior in business management from New York, got engaged two days after Mavis returned from her mission. After meeting in 2009 and being reunited after their missions in 2013, Patrick proposed to Mavis at a senior missionary’s house on Laie Point. “It was evening, and we were on the front porch and could hear the waves crashing,” said Mavis. “It was perfect, actually. Something I liked and loved. It was a romantic proposal. He made a photo album of pictures of our experiences together.” The last few pages of the album were blank and he said, “’I want to continue this journey together and fill these pages with you.’” That was Jan. 1, 2013, and they were married June 21, 2013.
Make a Connection with Nature Before Facebook, Pacific Islanders declared their status with flowers.
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n Hawaii and other Pacific Islands, flowers have signified love and beauty for thousands of years, said Dr. Hiagi Wesley, professor of Pacific Island studies. “The people of the Pacific wear flowers behind their ears because it’s a symbol of love.” Flowers, like the Hawaiian plumeria or the Samoan lehua, symbolize love, but the placement of flowers can signify what kind of love you have, or what kind you are looking for. “The joke is if you wear it on the left, you are taken. If you wear it on the right, you are available,” laughed Dr. Wesley. “While I don’t know when that started, wearing flowers has been part of Pacific Island culture forever,” said Wesley. The significance of the left ear might have something to do with putting the wedding or engagement ring on the left hand, said Pearl Tuiasosopo, a sophomore in political science from American Samoa. Flowers don’t just suggest a relationship status, but a connection with nature that has been going on for thousands of years. ICS Anthropology Professor Tevita Kaili said this connection of the Pacific Island people through nature runs deeper than just hair accessories. “All of our attire comes from nature,” continued Kaili. “Tapa comes from a plant from nature, flower comes from a plant from nature, and if you use feathers, it comes from a bird from nature. It’s about us living close to nature. Everything comes from it.” Wesley nodded as he counseled, “So if you want to add on to your beauty, you add on a piece of nature. You don’t add Chanel, you don’t have Paris Hilton to use; you have flowers.” Nature and products of nature will only enhance your beauty this Valentine’s Day, ladies. Though Dr. Wesely did note that men can wear flowers too, if they want. While Valentine’s Day can create anxiety for some on what to wear, others worry about what gift to get their significant other. Dr. Wesley and Dr. Kaili suggested a solution: “You see the islands full of beautiful flowers? Jewelry is not part of the culture. You have flowers as women’s adornment to make them look pretty.” Not only are flowers beautiful, but also they are free.
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Rural Housing may be closer thank you think...
Rural Development
PROGRAM FEATURES: • 100% Financial available • NO sales price restrictions, NO cash reserves and NO limit on seller contributions • Competitive Interest Rates • Closing costs may be financed if the PROGRAM FEATURES: appraised value is higher than the sales • 100% Financing available • No sales price restrictions, NO cash reserves price and NO limit on seller contributions Rural • Competitive Interest Rates • Non-traditional credit is allowed • Closing costs may be fi nanced if the appraised value is higher than the sales price Development • Non-traditional credit is allowed • Property must be located in an eligible rural area • Income restrictions apply • rural Income restrictions apply • Property must be located in an eligible area • Contact Ron Durant to find out if your is USDA • area Contact a Guildeligible Loan Officer to find out if • All loans subject to underwriter approval. your area is USDA eligible
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Terms and conditions apply. Subject to change without notice.
Ron Durant, Branch Manager NMLS ID 275617
Direct: 808-263-8743 | Fax: 866-703-4876 Ron Durant, Branch Manager Email: rdurant@guildmortgage.com NMLS ID 275617
Celeste Poisson and Cherry Valdez demonstrate the Pacific Island tradition of wearing flowers to show your relationship status. Poisson is single and Valdez is engaged. Photo by Monica Rubalcava
609www.guildmortgage.com Kailua Road, Suite 200, Kailua HI 96734 Direct 808-263-8743 Fax 866-703-4876 Email: rdurant@guildmortgage.com Apply online at: www.guildmortgage.net/rondurant
NMLS #3274
FEBRUARY 12, 2015
An Equal Housing Lender. @Copyright 2006 Guild Mortgage Company
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1. In Your Eyes (NR) Two strangers on opposite ends of the country have a telepathic bond that lets each one see what the other sees, a deep connection that leads to love.
2. Daawat-e-Ishq (NR-Bollywood) After one too many heartbreaks, shop girl Gulrez has no hope of finding a husband, until she meets a spicy chef who might just be to her taste.
3. Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (G) When his master dies, a loyal pooch named Hachiko keeps a vigil for more than a decade at the train station where he once greeted his owner every day.
NETFLIX LOVE? BY M O RGYN N E T O RA
8. Hitch (PG-13) Smooth and sexy Hitch helps clients make a great first impression on a date, but he’s thrown when a lovely reporter starts nosing around his business.
7. Instructions Not Included (PG-13) Unable to locate the elusive mother of a baby girl left on his doorstep, an Acapulco playboy unexpectedly begins to develop feelings for the tot.
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KE ALAKA‘I
In general, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love between two romantically involved people. By way of reclaiming this non-inclusive narrative and welcoming single counterparts, children or platonic loved ones (human or otherwise), this (non) comprehensive list suggests a few flicks for this Valentine’s Day, celebrating the diversity of love.
6.What’sEatingGilbertGrape(PG-13) In a backwater Iowa town, young Gilbert is torn between taking care of his troubled family and a girl who shows him new possibilities for his life.
4. A Little Bit of Heaven (PG-13) After learning that she has terminal cancer, a spirited young woman thinks she’s finished with love forever -- but her heart has other ideas.
5. Love (NR) Stranded aboard the International Space Station, astronaut Lee Miller discovers something that allows him to travel through space and time.
Steal the Bride, Bite the Bread
Wedding traditions around the world celebrate love in different ways B Y RAC HEL R EED
M
arriage details come in all shapes and sizes. At BYU-Hawaii, varying traditions are found among married students. “We did the regular stuff you do at weddings, but my husband is Tongan so there was some traditional Tongan dancing,” said Amy Moala, a senior in exercise and sports science from Nevada. Lena Filatova, an undeclared freshman, talked about her home country of Russia sharing some of the marital traditions there. She explained the tradition of kidnapping the bride, where friends of the young couple will take the bride away unawares, demanding a ransom and making the groom find her. It’s all fun and games because when the bride is found, the bride and groom go get a marriage license. Another unique tradition in Russia is that of biting the bread. Before the bride and groom can enter the reception hall, they have to bite the traditional bread (without hands) that had been prepared for them. Whomever takes the bigger bite is said to be the more dominant in the relationship. Filatova also shared the marital practice of the lock (or “jorko,” in Russian). Together, a newlywed couple buys a lock and writes their name on it. “In my hometown there is a bridge for [the couples] to get married and the whole bridge is covered with all these locks. It symbolizes the marriage is going to be forever and you can’t unlock it,” said Filatova. Ethan Tsai, a senior in graphic design from Taiwan, shared some traditions from his recent marriage. One such tradition happens when, before the wedding reception, the groom goes over to the bride’s house to overcome a certain challenge. The bride’s friends ask
the groom to complete a challenge, and the groom has to do it to those friends’ expectations. The bride, like the groom, goes over to his house afterward. There, a bucket of water is poured in front of her. Tsai explained, “It’s symbolic of how the girl is married and not ever going to come back.” After this, the couple show their respect and gratitude to both sets of parents by kneeling and bowing their heads. Nowah Afangbedji, a senior biomedical major, shared some of the marriage traditions of his homeland Togo. “My favorite part is usually the engagement or veil part,” he shared. In his tribe, there are usually three parts to marriages. First, you have to knock on the door and the boy comes to say he wants to marry the girl. An appointment is set, which completes the engagement part. One of the girl’s aunties then compiles a list and gives it to the boy of things he needs to get for the dowry. Once everything has been collected, the boy brings it to the family. If everything is there and the family can see that the boy appreciates their daughter, they bring her out along with a couple other girls; the girls are covered from head to toe in a veil with no hints as to who is who, and the boy has to figure out which is the girl he is engaged to. “I haven’t seen anybody mess up before,” Afangbedji laughed. “People could mess up. They will laugh at you and mock you a little bit. But they won’t cancel the marriage.” The third step of the marriage process is the civil marriage, either in a church or located at another sacred site.
Who is it?
I have a date!
Netflix.
JUST ANOTHER DAY B Y A LY S S A WA LHOOD
BYUH bachelors share Valentine’s plans for the single man
Ike Smith, an undeclared freshman from Singapore, echoes hundreds, if not thousands of single people, men and women, as they describe their Valentine’s Day plans this year. For singles, Valentine’s Day can turn into a bitter, black-hearted affair, or a chance to retreat into one’s cave and hide from the seeming legions of couples haunting the streets. While there is a stigma for single women that Valentine’s Day must throw them into a severe, 24-hour depression, men seem to go through Valentine’s Day unscathed as bachelors. “Valentine’s Day for the single guy? I can go to the beach and I don’t have to spend any money. It’s just another day,” said Smith. Though a freshman, Smith’s observations about the holiday of love sound similar to senior Cameron Kerr’s feelings. “I think it’s not that big of a deal for guys as it is for girls, obviously. I think that it’s kind of like when you see all your friends dating or getting married when they get back from their missions. It’s kind of an annoying holiday. It seems kind of dumb, but it’s not like I’m going to cry myself to sleep,” said the finance major from California. While describing Valentine’s Day with a significant other, Kerr explained, “It’s fun.”
If men don’t seem to have a particularly strong feeling towards Valentine’s Day, it might just be in their nature. It’s not their fault, says Dr. Louann Brizendine, a psychologist and author of “The Female Brain.” A doctor researching women’s psychology, Dr. Brizendine notes men feel an inch and women feel a mile on an emotional spectrum. Hormones and the physical make-up of men’s brains influence this emotional range, making Valentine’s Day, and other events, not as big a deal as it is for women. Men, though less emotional about the holiday, understand the problems facing single people on Valentine’s Day. “You don’t need to find someone to appease a standard,” said William Walter Arnett III, a junior in music performance from Arizona. Half the struggle of Valentine’s Day is the comparison between one’s single self to coupled people, but “Valentine’s Day is not some horrendous moment for me because I’m single,” said Arnett. He reminded the single men and women of Valentine’s Day 2015 that they should be no less happy and are no less wonderful for being single and watching Netflix all day. “Do you really need someone else to be valuable? You’re you. You are valuable. No one should feel bad about Valentine’s Day. It’s just part of life.”