Teaching Your Children Boundaries

Hailey Magee coined the thought-provoking phrase, “Imagine how different the world would be if little girls were taught to set boundaries as often as they were taught to be polite.” For days, I ruminated on the question, “How can we teach all children to set and respect healthy boundaries?”

When I filtered this question through the theories of attachment and development, I determined that lessons on boundaries should be taught in this order: Respecting, Understanding, and Setting.

In my practice, I have observed repeatedly that when children who do not know how to respect boundaries are allowed to set their own, chaos reigns. If you struggle with boundaries, I strongly recommend reading Henry Cloud’s book, Boundaries

As a parent, it is vital for you to master the art of boundaries because this is one of the most important lessons you will teach your children. Regarding development, young children require the greatest number of boundaries. After children learn to respect boundaries, they earn the right to question them. When children question boundaries, it is the parent’s job to help them understand why boundaries are necessary and important. Children are mature enough to set their own boundaries only after they can respect and understand the necessity of boundaries. Let me give you some very specific examples of boundaries and the role they play in establishing a secure attachment to your child.

Respecting Boundaries: Use your physical body, not simply words, to help young children respect boundaries. For example, if a young child is throwing cars instead of rolling them, just pick up the cars and put them away or put your hand over their hand to show them how to play appropriately. All you need to say is, “I will not let you throw the cars.”

You do not need to justify or explain boundaries to a young child. Young children learn best by doing. These clear physical boundaries and your presence help them feel secure.

As children grow older, it is essential to ensure that boundaries are clearly defined. You must state the boundaries, the consequences if the boundaries are broken, and expect the child to be able to restate both to you. These definite limits help children feel secure. Set your child up for success by ensuring your expectations can be met.

Understanding Boundaries: Once children can consistently respect boundaries, they have earned the right to be part of the discussion. Allow them to question why the boundary is necessary, share their point of view, and negotiate new boundaries. These conversations can be challenging, but they build mutual trust and strengthen parent/child bonds. You must continue to hold your child accountable for what is his/ her responsibility in the boundary. Please remember that while behavior can be placed in a boundary, feelings cannot.

Setting Boundaries: After a child has proven that they respect and understand boundaries, he/she deserves the opportunity to begin setting some. A great place to start is by allowing your child to set boundaries on friendships. It is appropriate to expect your child to be kind and respectful to all people, but you should not expect them to be friends with everyone.

Spring Break Camp at the Kreher Preserve & Nature Center

Spring Break Camp at the Kreher Preserve & Nature Center is a great way for your children to spend their spring break outdoors, immersed in an active naturebased experience to engage their whole bodies and minds. Campers will join our naturalists for three days of nature-based learning experiences and adventure in the forests of the Nature Center. This year’s camp will focus on ‘Funtastical Beasts’ investigating the amazing adaptations and characteristics of unique animals. Spring Break Camps are offered during both Auburn and Opelika city school spring break holidays: for Auburn City Schools: March 6 – 8 and for Opelika City Schools: March 20 – 22. Camp is for 1st through 6th graders and runs Monday through Wednesday from 8 AM to 3 PM with drop-off beginning at 7:45 AM. Campers should bring their lunch and a refillable water bottle each day; snacks will be provided. Kreher Preserve & Nature Center is located at 2222 North College Street, Auburn. http://wp.auburn.edu/preserve/springbreakcamp/

Opelika Theatre Company presents Clue: On Stage

Opelika Theatre Company is proud to present CLUE on Stage, March 30-31 and April 1- 2. This hilarious who-dun-it is based on the board game Clue and will have you rolling in the aisles. Six guests are invited to a dinner party thrown by an anonymous host. They are given aliases-Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Mr. Green, Mrs. Peacock, Professor Plum, and Miss Scarlet. Though discouraged from revealing personal information, it is soon discovered that all of them have fallen victim to the same blackmailer, their very host of the evening. Each is presented with a weapon and an option: pay their extortionist double or kill the innocent butler. What follows is a madcap, slapstick evening full of murder, mystery, and laughs as they seek to puzzle out the culprit amongst criminals. Southside Centre for the Arts, 1103 Glenn Street, Opelika. www.opelikatheatrecompany.com/ticketsshows

Flashlight Egg Hunt Coming in April

Hunt for eggs in the dark on April 6 at 7:30pm. Bring a flashlight and a basket. Look for special prizes and golden eggs. 3rd-5th graders and is free and open to the public. Opelika Sportsplex Amp, 1001 SportsPlex Pkwy, Opelika. www. opelika-al.gov/713/Flashlight-Egg-Hunt

Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat

Shows will run from March 13 through the 19 at Springer Opera House, 103 Tenth Street, Columbus, Ga. It’s fun to have fun, you just have to know how!

From the moment his tail, red-and-white-striped hat appears around the door, Sally and her brother know that The Cat in the Hat is the funniest, most mischievous cat that they have ever met. Visit www.springeroperahouse.org/springer productions/cat-in-the-hat.

Second Saturday at Pioneer Park

On March 11, a group of history re-enactors will gather at the LCHS Museum in period attire to demonstrate their arts and crafts. Blacksmiths are working at the forge, spinners and weavers are in the textile room, the gardeners are in the gardens, crafts and seasonal activities are scheduled, and someone is always cooking up a meal in the fireplace or outdoors. 6500 Stage Road, Loachapoka.

www.leecountyhistoricalsociety.org/second-saturday

2nd Annual Breakfast with the Bunny at Kiesel Park

The 2nd annual Breakfast with the Bunny event will be on Saturday, April 1, 2023, at Kiesel Park beginning at 8 a.m. This event is for ages 3 and under, and all children must be accompanied by an adult. Pre-registration is required and will open on Monday, March 1, 2023, at 8 a.m. Kiesel Park, 520 Chadwick Lane, Auburn. Those interested in being a sponsor for this event may contact Gabby Filgo at gfilgo@auburnalabama.org. www.auburnalabama.org/parks

10th Annual Empty Bowls

Sponsored by Auburn Parks and Recreation and Opelika Parks and Recreation on March 25. The Dean Road Ceramics Studio and the Denson Drive Recreation Center will host the 10th annual Auburn-Opelika Empty Bowls. Each year, the event alternates between Auburn and Opelika. This year, Empty Bowls will be held at Kiesel Park in Auburn. This event will include soup, entertainment and tables with gifts from local Auburn/Opelika businesses. Tickets can be purchased online. Every ticket purchased is a direct donation to the Food Bank of East Alabama. Each ticket holder gets their choice of a handmade bowl created by local artists that will be filled with soup. In case of inclement weather, Empty Bowls will be held at the Dean Road Recreation Center. Each year, the event alternates between Auburn and Opelika. This year, Empty Bowls will be held at Kiesel Park in Auburn. This event will include soup, entertainment and buy now tables with gifts from local Auburn/Opelika businesses. www.auburnalabama.org/empty-bowls/

Complexions Contemporary Ballet: March 14

Led by dance icons Dwight Rhoden and Desmond Rich ardson, Complexions Contemporary Ballet has awakened audiences to a new, exciting genre with their singular approach of reinventing dance and contemporary ballet. With stunning gifted dancers and powerful choreography, Complexions has been hailed as a “matchless American dance company” by the Philadelphia Inquirer and “game changing” by London’s The Guardian. A collection of company favorites open the program that also features LOVE ROCKS, set to the music of Lenny Kravitz, is Rock meets Ballet! Fun, thrilling and the most amazing Kravitz music, LOVE ROCKS is the “ ! ” on this exciting program. Complexions Contemporary Ballet was founded in 1994 by master choreographer Dwight Rhoden and the legendary Desmond Richardson with a singular approach to reinventing dance through a groundbreaking mix of methods, styles and cultures. Gogue Performing Arts Center, 910 South College Street, Auburn. www.goguecenter.auburn.edu/complexions-contemporary-ballet/

Zoo Weekend is Here!

This fun-filled event, March 25-26, at the Montgomery Zoo has been going on for generations and loved by all ages. The weekend will be filled with great music, live entertainment, animal presentations and programs, games, prizes, rides, tons of yummy concessions, and fun, fun, fun! Admission includes: Entry to the Zoo and Mann Museum, Entry Waters of the World, Entry to Parakeet Cove and Petting Zoo, Entry to our Reptile Facility. Montgomery Zoo, 2310 Coliseum Pkwy, Montgomery. www.montgomeryzoo.com