13 minute read
Meeting Kids Where They Are
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
Parent Question: What Do I Do When My Child Lies?
“What do I do when my child lies?” I get this question all the time. Trust me, you are not the only parent struggling with this. This is normal, so don’t question every parenting decision you have ever made when your kid tells a fib. This article highlights the four categories of lies, how to respond to each, and how to create an environment that encourages honesty.
One important point to consider, children between the ages of two and four are simply exploring creativity and boundaries, which may include telling untruths. Around the age of four, children start to lie for the same reason adults do: to gain an advantage, for convenience, to avoid punishment, and to boost self-esteem.
Lacking Skills Lies: These lies occur when the child has a slow processing speed, impulse control issues, short-term/ long-term memory delays, or an inability to correctly assess a situation. This type of lying is extremely common in children with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder. In these situations, the best thing parents can do is give the child time to think about their answers and then help them learn the language necessary to provide an accurate report of events. It is vital for parents to eliminate their child’s fear of “getting in trouble” in this situation so that they can learn the cognitive and language skills they need to succeed in life.
Lies to Protect Themselves or Others:
Your daughter may lie about how much she slept the night before because she doesn’t want to worry you. Your son may lie about a bad grade on a test because he wants to eliminate extra stress on you. When your child lies, the first thing you must do is to consider the goal of the lie. Was she afraid of making a mistake? Is the child feeling anxious, guilty, ashamed, or scared? Is he more afraid of your anger or the possible punishment? Take the time to explore all possible motives before reacting.
Tall Tales Lies: One of the greatest things about children is their “rose colored glasses”. They simply remember themselves as the hero of the story even if they were the villain. If this is the case or your child has a minor detail wrong, just ignore it. If your child is telling a tall tale to look better or gain approval the best thing you can do is tell the truth. Remember, your child is not on the witness stand. Don’t ask leading questions or argue. Simply interrupt the lie and state the truth.
Bold Lies to Avoid Punishment:
When this occurs, use natural consequences that will help build character. If your son has been hiding notes from the teacher and the teacher gives you a call, have him write an apology note admitting what he did wrong. Have him ask for another chance to take the note home. Through this punishment he is learning to confess, ask for forgiveness, and right his wrong.
General Tips to Promote Honesty:
1. Model honesty. If you tell a lie, immediately apologize and correct it. Help your child learn how to do this. 2. Perform honesty inspections. For example, don’t ask if they have homework, just get out the notebook and start checking. Don’t ask if they cleaned their room, go look. 3. Never label your child as a liar. Your child’s behavior patterns do not equal identity. Are you what you did as a kid? 4. Teach through stories. The Boy Who Cried Wolf is a great one, but use a variety of books, movies, and personal experiences to emphasize the importance of being honest.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
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2nd Annual Kites Over Mobile
Mobile Parks and Recreation is hosting the 2nd Annual Kites Over Mobile event at Battleship Parkway,
a Kite Festival full of high-flying FUN
for the entire Community! Join us Saturday, April 9 from 10 AM -5 PM and Sunday, April 10 from Noon-5 PM. Come enjoy Professional Kite Flying Demonstrations, Kite Displays, Kite Hospital, Live DJs, Food Trucks, Candy Drop (1 PM on both days!) plus the band Kickstand Jenny will be performing live on
Saturday at 3 PM! Kites will be for sale onsite OR you can bring your own!
Eastern Shore Business Expo
The 5th annual Eastern Shore Business
Expo will be held on April 28 at the Fairhope Civic Center from noon until 7 PM. The Eastern Shore Business Expo will showcase over 50 vendors from local businesses. Pelican Promos will host a cocktail contest featuring local restaurants and bars for Happy Hour from 5 PM to 7 PM. Breakout sessions on home buying, marketing,
financial planning and more will be held during the event. Mini
sessions for headshots will take place throughout the day. Admission is free. For more information visit www.easternshorebusiness.com.
Cocktails with the Critters and Silent Auction
The Dauphin Island Sea Lab Foundation invites you to the 2022 Cocktails with the Critters on Thursday, May 5. This major fundraiser held by the DISL Foundation each year supports student scholarships and other projects at the Dauphin Island Sea Lab. Cocktails with the Critters will be held in-person at The Blue Gill on the Causeway from 6 PM until 9 PM. Tickets are $50 in advance and $55 at the door. For the third year, the silent auction will precede the in-person event beginning on April 27 with more than 100 items up for grabs. There is no cost to participate in the silent auction. Purchase tickets to Cocktails
with the Critters at sealabfoundation.org. You can also contact the DISL Foundation office for more information at 251-307-5903.
The South Baldwin Chamber of Commerce welcomes three special-shape balloons to the 18th Annual Gulf Coast Hot Air Balloon Festival. Keep your eyes on the skyline over OWA Parks & Resort on May 12th through 14th for a rare and unique sight. You may just see
Laska the Unicorn, Sunny Boy,
or Humpty gracing the festival grounds! Special-shaped balloons are always the stars of the show at ballooning events. Over 55 beautiful hot air balloons will be participating in this year's festival and at dusk
and dawn they will be rising to fly in our South Baldwin
skies for all to see. Along with balloons at dusk and dawn and balloon-tethered rides, there are lots of activities for everyone to enjoy at the festival throughout each day.
A complete schedule of events including balloon glows, entertainment, and other incredible activities can be found on our website, gulfcoastballoonfestival.com/schedule.
Two $1,000 Scholarships will be awarded to Baldwin County High School Seniors
The Original Oyster House will award two $1,000 Chelsea Garvin Spirit Award
Scholarships to high school seniors in Baldwin County. In 2006 the Chelsea Garvin Spirit Award Scholarship was created in loving memory of Chelsea Garvin who was a 2004 graduate of Fairhope High School, a Fish River Fire Department Rescue Diver, an Original Oyster House employee and a talented artist. Tragically, Chelsea’s life was cut short in a boating accident in 2005. To qualify for the 17th Annual Chelsea Garvin Spirit Award Scholarships you must be a high school senior of Baldwin County in the 2021-2022 school year with a minimum 2.5 GPA, have participated in recent school or community art event and submit artwork
that reflects the Original Oyster House brand in some way and can be displayed in the
restaurant. Deadline for submission of art and application is April 22. To submit your Chelsea Garvin Spirit Award Scholarship application and a photo of your artwork online please visit www.originaloysterhouse.com/scholarship.
The Mobile Chocolate Festival, will be held at The Grounds on Saturday April 9, from 10:00 AM until 3:00 PM, with proceeds to benefit Penelope House. There will be vendors offering samples of, and selling, their chocolate-related products. Also featured: Children’s Area, Mobile Fixture Apron Demonstration Station, Chocolate Challenge featuring professionals, amateurs, and youth divisions, Project Yum Way where students and aspiring designers participate in a fashion display of chocolate-inspired fashions made from chocolate candy wrappers, Cupcake Booth, Chocolate Martini tasting, live music, food trucks and more!
Admission is free for children 13 & under; General admission $3.00 in advance, available at Penelope’s Closet, $5.00 day of the event. Like Mobile Chocolate Festival on facebook, and visit www.mobilechocolatefestival.com.
Chef Challenge
Chef Challenge is Feeding the Gulf Coast's annual fundraising gala that brings together the
area's finest chefs
with a friendly competition. This year's event will be held on April 28, at the Mobile Convention Center from 6 to 9 PM. Enjoy tastings from local restaurants, complimentary beer and wine, entertainment by Roman Street, and a silent auction, all in the name of ending hunger in your community. Tickets can be purchased by visiting www.feedingthegulfcoast.org or calling (251) 653-1617.
2022 Delta Woods & Waters Expo
Sponsored by the City of Spanish Fort and held at 5 Rivers Delta Resource Center on the Mobile Bay
Causeway, Delta Woods & Waters Expo is a vital community celebration of the amazing natural resources right here in our "backyard” and educates today’s youth on the value of the environment and wonders of the beautiful MobileTensaw Delta. On Saturday’s Family Day, April 30 from 9 AM – 4 PM, expo attendees will discover the Delta through live demonstrations and hands-on experiences that bring to life the history of the Delta and provide a deeper understanding of Alabama's past. Open to the public with free admission and free parking and shuttle service throughout the day. Follow us on Facebook or visit www. deltawoodsandwatersexpo.com for more details.
Under the Stars
You are invited to the Baldwin County Child Advocacy Center's 13th annual signature fundraising
event, "UNDER THE STARS,” which will take place on Friday, April 29, at Oak Hollow Farm
in Fairhope! This exciting event will be a special celebration and will include an evening of great food, fabulous live music performed by the dynamic Tommy Morse Band, dancing, and both silent and live auctions. Doors open at 6 PM. Tickets are $60 per person. To purchase tickets, for sponsorship information, or auction donation options, visit our website at www. BaldwinCountyCAC.org and click on the events tab or email admin@baldwincountycac.org to let
us know that you are interested. You may also call us at 251-989-2555 or find us on Facebook. The purpose of "UNDER THE STARS" is to raise funds for the Baldwin County Child Advocacy Center, a local nonprofit agency providing vital services for
hundreds of child victims of sexual abuse and severe physical abuse each year through a Multidisciplinary Team approach.
Easter Events at Bellingrath Gardens and Home
Bellingrath Gardens and Home is hosting two Easter events this year. On Saturday, April 9, from 9 AM to noon, Bellingrath will host its annual Easter Egg Hunt on the Great Lawn. Thousands of Easter eggs will be scattered across the lawn for children to fill their baskets. There will be special hunts for different age groups, as well as prizes, candy and “eggtivities,” which makes this a perfect family outing. As the sun rises over Bellingrath Gardens and Home on Easter Sunday, guests are invited to come and enjoy a special Sunrise Service with friends and family on the Great Lawn on Sunday, April 17. The service will begin at 6:30 AM and is open to everyone in the community. A limited number of chairs will be set up and guests are encouraged to bring their own chairs. A hot breakfast will be available for purchase after the service.
cityhope.cc
Applications are now open for the Youth Leadership 2022 program. Completed Applications are due by Friday, April 15. The Youth Leadership Program is an intensive and elite, seven-month program designed to provide Eastern Shore high school students with the opportunity to gain a greater knowledge about their community, develop strong leadership skills and gain more self and social awareness.
Students Learn: • History & Geography of Baldwin County • Law & Government • Business Smarts • Health & Human Services • Environment.
In addition to class sessions, students work in teams to develop small group projects that address and benefit a special community need.
The Chamber’s Youth Leadership program recognizes that we can build vital communities that value fairness, diversity and integrity by developing young leaders. Youth Leadership applications are available online at www.ESChamber.com The Eastern Shore Youth Leadership Program will begin on August 27, with a mandatory Opening Retreat & Orientation. Locations and schedules will be distributed prior to the start of the program. For questions, call the Eastern Shore Chamber of Commerce at 251-928-6387.
12th Annual Bald Eagle Bash to Feature Two Musical Acts
South Alabama Land Trust (SALT) is thrilled to announce two popular musical acts for the 12th annual Bald Eagle
Bash, set for
Saturday, April 30 at the Tonsmeire Weeks Bay Resource Center. Ross Newell, well-known for his previous band, The Mulligan
Brothers, will perform first, followed by Paw Paw’s Medicine Cabinet.
Tickets are $65 ($55 for members). Tickets will only be sold in advance.
This “taste of the Gulf” brings together 16 local restaurants and chefs
preparing fresh shrimp dishes. Several restaurants will serve tasty
desserts. And for the first time, there will be a non-shrimp option.
Fairhope Brewing and Braided River Brewing will once again be serving their signature beers, and two wine distributors will serve a selection of wines.
Bald Eagle Bash is SALT’s largest event, raising funds to restore vulnerable coastline, protect wildlife and educate and involve folks in protecting our natural resources. To purchase tickets, visit baldeaglebash.com/tickets. For more information, visit baldeaglebash.com or call 251-990-5004.
Fall under the spell of the fairy tale classic as Bayshore Ballet Academy presents "Sleeping Beauty." Children and adults alike will follow the story of Princess Aurora, who with a single prick of her finger, is cursed to 100 years' slumber with her only hope being a Prince's sweet kiss to awaken her. This beautiful story will take the stage Saturday, April 30 at 2:00pm and 7:00pm at Fairhope Civic Center. For tickets or other information call (251) 990-9744
