11 minute read
Meeting Kids Where They Are
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
Don’t Control, Fix or Avoid
From 2000 to 2016, opioid-related deaths in the U.S. increased by 300%. In contrast, Germany, the 2nd largest opioid prescribing country, did not experience an increase. The huge difference is that Germans believe discomfort is a part of the healing process while Americans believe it should be fully avoided.
I believe that the American culture’s avoidance of discomfort has led to our current mental health crisis. Many Americans fully embrace the idea that “bad feelings” are unhealthy and “good feelings” are healthy. This could not be less true. Mentally strong individuals are able to be comfortable with the full spectrum of human emotions.
It is important to teach children that negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are simply part of the human experience. When parents immediately intervene, they are inadvertently eliminating opportunities for the development of healthy coping behaviors.
Humans display three unhealthy behaviors to “bad” thoughts, feelings, and emotions: fix, control, or avoid. Unhealthy fixing is when you meet your child’s need too early. You may notice that your child’s drink cup is empty and fill it. This may prevent your child from being upset, but it is not teaching her to independently identify the problem and ask for help. An example of unhealthy control is immediately telling your teenager “no” when he asks to drive to the store after dark. He is definitely safer at home, but you have removed an opportunity for your teen to build trust and learn how to be a better driver. Unhealthy avoidance is when you let your child win a game because she gets upset when she loses. She must experience losing to learn to tolerate it well.
1. Sit with them. When difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions arise, do not control, fix, or avoid. Simply sit with the discomfort. 2. Ask yourself if your thoughts, feelings, or emotions are true and/or helpful. 3. Your brain will overwhelm you with opinions and judgements, so make sure you refocus to the facts. 4. Ask yourself, “What response is most consistent with who I want to be?” Act in a manner that is consistent with who you want to be. Sometimes, the healthiest response is to fix, control, or avoid something. However, mentally strong people take the time to choose this response instead of instinctively reacting.
1. When they become distressed, DO NOT REACT. Sit with them for a second. Every huge mistake I have made in life, is when I reacted without thinking. 2. Make sure you understand what happened and talk to your child about the facts. Avoid telling children how they feel because your opinion of their feelings may be incorrect. STICK TO THE FACTS! The cup is empty, the chore is not done, etc. 3. A child views opinions as facts. Refocus them to the facts. 4. Ask, “Who do you want to be in this moment?” Give them options of responses. Act out good and bad examples. Children find this hilarious. 5. Reward and praise any attempt they make at a healthy response.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
PAW Patrol Live!
Nickelodeon and VStar Entertainment Group present PAW Patrol Live! “The Great Pirate Adventure,” an action-packed, music-filled production. The PAW Patrol is back and on a roll in person and LIVE on stage! Ryder and your favorite pups have been working hard to get back on the road and they are ready to roll to at the Mobile Civic Center Theater, Tuesday July 26th 6:00PM and Wednesday July 27th 6:00PM. In this production, the heroic pups from the toprated animated preschool series PAW Patrol, produced by Spin Master Entertainment and airing on Nickelodeon, embark on a pirate-themed adventure to uncover hidden treasure. Do not miss this PAWsome opportunity to see the whole pack in this live touring stage performance. Tickets for all performances are on sale now. Tickets start at $20. Tickets are available at the Box Office, www.ticketmaster.com, pawpatrollive.com or by phone at 800-745-3000. Ticket prices are inclusive of a facility fee. Prices are subject to change. Additional fees and special offers may apply. A limited number of V.I.P. (Very Important Pup) Packages are available, starting at $120. The VIP package includes a premium seat and exclusive photo op with
PAW Patrol characters after the show. Each adult & child (age 1 & up) in a group must have a VIP ticket.
Back-To-School Sales Tax Holiday
Alabama is once again offering a Back to School Sales Tax Holiday for school items including clothes, school supplies, books, and more. The sales tax holiday begins at 12:01 a.m. Friday, July 15, and will end at midnight Sunday, July 17. *For a list of qualified items, limits and additional details visit https://forms. revenue.alabama.gov/viewer/basic_viewer/ index.html?form=2017/05/STHolidayQuick RefSheet22.pdf.
Illusions is the latest in a series of in-house created exhibits by the Exploreum Science Center. This brand new exhibit will take an educational and entertaining look into the world of illusions. From the ordinary to the extraordinary, visitors will learn about the past, present, and future of these fascinating phenomena and how they shape our perception of reality. Through hands on activities, informational displays, and demonstrations, this exhibit will unveil the science and mystery behind the world of Illusions. This exhibit will run from June 4-September 17. Please visit https://www.exploreum.com/ for more information.
The Eastern Shore Young Professionals group presented a $2,000 check to the Spanish Fort Public Library for the library’s Summer Reading Program. The money was raised from one of the Young Professionals annual events, Bowling For Books, that takes place at Eastern Shore Lanes in Spanish Fort. The Eastern Shore Young Professionals operates within the Eastern Shore Chamber of Commerce and come together to share initiatives, develop their careers and network. This group is geared toward the under-40 crowd. Join them at a monthly social or join in on the fun at one of their annual fundraisers for local charities such as Pencils & Glue for Bingo & Brew, Trivia Night, Bowling for Books. There is no cost to join the Young Professionals. Simply, sign up for our email mailing list and join us for the next social. Feel free to bring along a friend or co-worker.
Jennifer Claire Moore Foundation Annual Professional Rodeo Fundraiser
The Jennifer Claire Moore Foundation Staff, Board of Directors, Peer Helpers Program Coordinators and Peer Helpers are thrilled to announce the return of our Annual Professional Rodeo Fundraiser at the City of Foley Horse Arena August 4-6 2022! The rodeo will be held August 4th, 5th and 6th at the Foley Horse Arena, 113 East Rosetta Avenue, Foley, AL. Gates Open at 6:00pm. Rodeo Action at 8:00pm. Our Rodeo features 8 nightly events including Bareback Bronc Riding, Saddle Bronc Riding, Calf Roping, Steer Wrestling, Break Away Roping, Barrel Racing, Team Roping and Bull Riding. The Rodeo kicks off each night at 8:00pm with FREE children’s activities beginning nightly at 6:00pm. General admission tickets are $15.00 for adults, $8.00 for children ages 3-12 years old, and free for ages 2 and under. Tickets will be available for pre-sale beginning July 11th at Summerdale Western Store and Frances Holk-Jones State Farm Insurance. Tickets will also be available each night at the gate of the Rodeo. We will also hold a Rodeo Queen & Princess Contest. More information and applications can be found at www.jennifermoorefoundation. com/products/rodeo Application deadline is Friday, July 15th. Interested in Volunteering? From rack card and poster distribution, to event parking, kid’s area and even concessions - there are many volunteer opportunities for our 2022 Rodeo! With your support, we can continue our mission of providing youth with the knowledge, resources and confidence to successfully navigate the pressures of day-to-day life issues and excel into adulthood. Please consider making a financial contribution to support our focus on youth mental health and wellness. Together WE can make 2022 the best yet for our local students! Please contact us at 251.971.3633 if you have any concerns or questions.
2022 Flavors of the South and Culinary Fight Club
Join the Central Baldwin Chamber for the 2022 Flavors of the South & Culinary Fight Club event to showcase food and wine from local restaurants and caterers. Come sample a variety of food and drink while listening to music and participating in the silent auction. Two events, one entry fee! Individual tickets are $45; table of eight is $325. The special event will be held on Thursday, July 21, from 5-8 p.m. at the Baldwin County Coliseum in Robertsdale. Donations are also being accepted for the silent auction. For more information or to reserve tickets, call the Chamber at 251.947.2626 or email Brooke Butler, bbutler@ centralbaldwin.com. The Roy Martin Young Anglers Tournament is designed to bring families together and encourage sportsmanship. The tournament takes place on the Saturday, July 9, 2022. It is for children 15 years and younger and it typically attracts more than 1,500 young anglers. The one-day event features 30 categories with prizes awarded for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prizes in all categories. One Master Angler is awarded. All proceeds benefit the Mobile Jaycees Children’s Christmas Shopping Tour. For more information, please visit adsfr.com/rmyat/.
Illuminating Autism FUNraiser
High Hopes 4 Autism is exciting to announce the 16th Annual Illuminating Autism FUNraiser at Pirates Cove. This FUNraiser is a three-day event, held July 22 – 24 that will feature a JEEP draw down, silent auction, art market and local live entertainment. ALL proceeds from the FUNraiser go to a local Autism program. For more information visit http://highhopes4autism.org/funraiser.
Mon. thru Fri. 3 pm to 6 pm
Food & Drink Specials
Mobile Causeway Only*
SPECIAL DRAFT WELL
DRINKS BEERS DRINKS
$4 $3WINES
White Zinfadel Bloody Marys | Margaritas Merlot & Chardonnay
$4 $4
Local Microbrews
$6 APPETIZERS CAJUN POPCORN SHRIMP GET PICKLED FRIED PICKLES FRIED GREEN TOMATOES FRIED MOZZARELLA CHEESE originaloysterhouse.com/happyhour
The Haven for Animals Selected as a Top Shelter in the U.S.
The Haven for Animals in Fairhope has been selected as a Top Shelter in the U.S. from MuttNation. The nonprofit also is the recipient of a Mutts Across America Grant. The grants are awarded annually to one exemplary shelter in each state. Founded in 2014 by Miranda Lambert’s mother, Bev Lambert, the grants have totaled over a quarter-million dollars. Co-sponsor is Tractor Supply Company. As a new member of MuttNation’s Mutts Across America “Family of Shelters” (now 400+ strong), The Haven has received a $5,000 grant to help provide lifesaving services like vital spay and neutering services for homeless pets. The Haven, the first no-kill animal shelter in Baldwin County, focuses on preventing euthanasia of healthy and treatable cats and dogs in area shelters. Since 2000, over 10,800 homeless cats and dogs have found loving homes. The nonprofit works with like-minded rescue groups and government animal control shelters to end pet homelessness. Upon receiving the great news, Michael Graham, Executive Director of The Haven, remarked, “We are very proud to receive this top shelter recognition in the U.S. from MuttNation. The special recognition demonstrates our agency’s comprehensive lifesaving programs continue to positively impact the people and homeless pets of Fairhope and surrounding communities. This special award would not be possible without our dedicated donors, our team of good board members, the City of
Fairhope and Mayor Sherry Sullivan, volunteers, and our small staff. Thank you to MuttNation and Tractor Supply for their support.” The Haven encourages Baldwin County animal advocates to support the no-kill movement by adopting, fostering, donating, or volunteering. Visit www.HavenForAnimals for more information.
Photo - From left to right: James Tucker, Haven Animal Care Tech., Kasey Cotten, Haven Office Manager, Stephanie Calhoun,
Haven Board President, Katherine Ono, Haven Vice President, Fairhope Mayor Sherry Sullivan, Michael Graham, Haven Executive Director, Jenny Williams, Haven Board Member
