14 minute read
Meeting Kids Where They Are
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
Helping Your Child Feel Safe
Sometimes we can see the facts of a situation and recognize what is true, but still not feel that it is true. For example, I often have dreams about a snake biting me. When this happens, I have to look through the sheets and covers to fully accept the truth that there is no snake. Feeling safe is subjective, not objective; we can be safe without feeling safe. This is referred to as “felt safety”.
Your brain is subconsciously assessing safety four times per second. The brain does this by investigating the inner experience (heart rate, hunger, etc), the environment, and the people around us. Sometimes, our subconscious brains misinterpret situations and draw inaccurate conclusions. The very different feelings of excitement and anxiety create the same internal experiences in the body (elevated heart rate, butterflies in the stomach, pupil dilation, and shallow breathing). We can be in a safe setting but assume that we are unsafe. We can be with very loving people but imagine that they are angry with us.
All parents will observe their children displaying fear in situations that are anything but scary. This occurs when the child does not have “felt safety”. How you respond to your child in these situations will help them respond more appropriately at the moment. Handling these moments well will also increase your child’s ability to handle challenging circumstances well in the future.
Here are several tips to help you increase your child’s felt safety.
1) Consistency is key. Keep your children on a schedule so they know what to expect. 2) Pay close attention to non-verbal signs so you can help your child stay emotionally regulated. Some children become silent, some talk incessantly, some become cuddly, and some do not want you to touch them. Be attuned to your child’s signs so you know when it is time to help them feel safe. 3) Let them talk. Even if you completely disagree, do not correct their feelings. You can point out the reality of a situation later but just listen to them vent. 4) Let your children have their feelings. It is not your responsibility to “fix” every negative emotion they experience. Allow your child to work through “bad feelings” rather than telling them to “suck it up”. They cannot learn how to manage difficult emotions until they are allowed to experience them. 5) When possible, give them some control. If you can, offer choices. If the situation allows it, compromise. 6) Emotions are contagious. Anxiety spreads like wildfire, but so does peace. Model an appropriate response to the situation. 7) Be as playful as possible. Parents often repeat themselves (please stop doing this). Instead, engage playfully. For example, if you told your child not to ride his bike near the road and he turns toward the street, runs in front of the bike, and pretends to be a policeman keeping the bike in the correct area. 8) Observe and ask questions. Avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions. Curiosity helps prevent us from placing blame and becoming defensive. 9) Be as concrete as possible. Children do not understand sarcasm or abstract concepts. They require experience to understand, not just words. 10) Limit clutter, chaos, and over-scheduling as much as possible. We all need downtime.
Your job as a parent is to do more than keep your children safe, clothed and fed. If you want your children to be healthy and welladjusted, take the time to help them feel safe as well.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
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Transition Initiative Resources to help you and your teen with disabilities prepare for adulthood.
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10th Annual Captains for Kids
Join us for Captains for Kids on September 10, 2022. We coordinate a FREE fun day on the water for kids with special needs and illnesses with professional captains/crews/businesses that provide fishing charters, sailing excursions, parasailing rides, dolphin cruises and pirate cruises. Most events have space for the parents and sometimes a sibling or two to tag along. All activities are free of charge.
We have different activities at many different beach locations and marinas in St. Pete Beach, Orange Beach, Perdido Key,
Pensacola Beach, Destin, Ft. Walton Beach, and Key Largo,
Florida. Boats have maximum seating capacities so we will need to schedule each person in order to give you a smooth experience and to provide a passenger manifest to the captain. Seats are first-come-first-served based on date of reservation. Registration required, please visit https://spotate.wixsite.com/ captains-for-kids/contact to register.
Walk to Fight Suicide at the South Alabama Out of the Darkness Walk
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, yet suicide can be prevented. Walkers from Daphne are joining the quarter of a million people who are walking in towns across the
United States to draw attention to the fight for suicide prevention. To be held on Sunday, October 23rd in front of Daphne
City Hall from 1 pm to 4 pm. This walk supports the American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention’s education and support programs and its bold goal to reduce the annual U.S. rate of suicide 20 percent by the year 2025.
Registration and check in for the Walk begins at 1 pm. The 2 mile walk around Old Towne Daphne begins at 2:45 pm and ends with a beautiful butterfly release which represents HOPE. There will be resource tables, food, refreshments, entertainment and a Memory Wall and tables where walkers can place pictures and mementos of their loved ones. Please go to AFSP.org/Daphne to form a team, join a team already formed, or register on your own and to donate. Registration is free but when you register, you will receive a fundraising page that you can share with friends and family members on social media and raise much needed funds.
Please help the American Cancer Society finish the fight against cancer. Join us at the American Cancer Society 2022 Vintage Affair Mobile Gala on Thursday, September 8, 2022, at the Country Club of Mobile, for a one-of-a-kind evening, featuring great food, dancing, a spectacular auction, and much more. With your support, the American Cancer Society saves lives by helping people stay well and get well, by finding cures, and by fighting back against cancer.
The American Cancer Society is working to finish the fight against every cancer in every community. We are the largest private, not-for-profit funder of cancer research in the United States, investing more than $4 billion since 1946. Thanks in part to our contributions, more than 1.5 million lives have been saved in the
US in the past two decades. Now, that is a reason to celebrate, so please join us. We hope to see you there! Please visit https://acsmobile. ejoinme.org/VintageAffair for more information. Join the Coastal Alabama Down Syndrome Society on Saturday, October 15, 2022 at USS Alabama Battleship Memorial Park as we unite for a common cause and raise funds at the 2022 Coastal Alabama Down
Syndrome Buddy Walk®. Whether you have Down syndrome, know someone who does, or just want to show your support of people with developmental disabilities, take the first step and donate or register today! Help us spread the word; all are welcome for our day of celebration!
To get started, just visit https://www.ds-stride.org/coastalalabamabuddywalk and select the “REGISTER” button to start a team, join a team, or register as an individual. Additional family members can be added by selecting the green “Add Another Registrant” button during Step 3. After you register, you can start your team or personal fundraising page by selecting the
“Fundraising Page Set Up” button at the top of the online receipt. Team Captains please note:
Make sure to provide your user name and password when prompted during registration to have access to your team and donor information from last year.
If you cannot participate in this event but would like to make a donation to the Coastal Alabama Down Syndrome Society, please select the DONATE button on the website mentioned above. You can also donate to an individual or team by visiting their fundraising page under the TEAMS/PEOPLE tab. Registration: $20 includes 2022 Buddy Walk t-shirt ** when registered by 10/3. Free registration for individual with Down syndrome - includes 2022 Buddy Walk t-shirt ** when registered by 10/3.
Original Oyster House Celebrates First Responders with Free Lunch
The Original Oyster House restaurants will honor Mobile and Baldwin County law enforcement, firefighters, paramedics and sheriff officers by offering a free Never Forget Lunch at the Gulf Shores and Mobile Causeway location on Friday, Sept. 9, 2022 from 11 am to 4 pm. The 15th Annual Never Forget Lunch was established by the Original Oyster House restaurants in honor of the 9/11 first responders who risked their lives to save, protect and serve and in recognition of all first responders for their service. An ID or first responder’s uniform is required for free dine-in only lunch. In memory of victims of 9/11, LifeSouth Community Blood Centers, a 501(c) 3 non-profit, community blood supplier, will also be on site at the Mobile Causeway location for blood donations. A specially designed t-shirt supporting first responders will commend all donors. Blood donations collected at the Never Forget Lunch are distributed to local hospitals. Mobile’s best attractions including GulfQuest, Mobile Carnival Museum, USS Alabama
Battleship, OWA Parks & Resort, Braided River Brewing Company and Visit Mobile will pass out free and discounted tickets.
Alabama Coastal Cleanup
You or your organization can volunteer to clean Alabama’s coastal waterways and beaches on Saturday, September 17, 2022 from 8am – 12pm. Take part in the state’s largest annual volunteer event as you clean your neighborhoods, local parks, streets, and storm drains too. Trash travels through storm drains, streams, and rivers to become bay and Gulf pollution. Picking up litter benefits you, your community and the Gulf. Over 100,000 volunteers have assisted in this event since Alabama joined the International Coastal Cleanup in 1987. Please visit https:// alabamacoastalcleanup.com/ for information.
The dream is becoming a reality! After three years of planning and building, the Mary’s Shelter “Gulf Coast Thrift Store” is soon to be open. Located at 25289 State St. (US HWY 98) in downtown Elberta, the store will have a large selection of clothing, accessories, baby Items, furniture, appliances, and housewares. All proceeds will support the moms and babies of Mary’s Shelter.
We hope to occupy the building sometime in August, and will open just as soon as we can set up. At this time, our storage units are full, so we cannot accept more donations until we occupy the building. We will keep everyone updated on our Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/GulfCoastThriftStore Once we open we will be happy to accept donations of gently used clothing, accessories, baby items, housewares, appliances and furniture. Please no Console/Tube/Plasma TV’s, Mattresses or Broken Items or toys with missing pieces. We are certainly in need of dozens of volunteers to help set up the store as well as sort, tag and display our merchandise when we open. Please volunteer for set-up or store operations or both! Visit our Facebook page to sign up to help, or go to https://bit.ly/ gulfcoasthriftstoreVOLUNTEERS. Thank you to our donors, volunteers, staff and community for your generous support of Mary’s Shelter. We can’t do it without you!
Sea No Limits Fishing Clinic
The Gulf Breeze Masonic Lodge is proud to offer a FREE fishing clinic for the special needs citizens in Escambia and Santa Rosa counties. All participants will receive a rod and reel to keep, an event T-Shirt and lunch for the entire family. Volunteers will be available to help during all phases of the clinic. All special needs participants will receive a t-shirt, lanyard, rod & reel and bait. Family members are welcome to bring their own fishing tackle if they would like to fish with the special needs participant. Lunch will be provided for the entire family. The clinic takes place on October 8 from 8:00am-12:00pm at Vince J. Whibbs Sr. Community Maritime Park. Please visit https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sea-nolimits-fishing-clinic-2022-tickets-310844603577 to register.
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2,000 sq. ft. Space with Private Bathrooms
30 to 100 Guests Rehearsal Dinners Small Weddings Corporate Meetings Holiday Parties Reunions,Graduations Celebrations Reveals, Showers & More
2023 Dogwood Trail Pageant Orientation Session Dates Announced
It's that time of the year again – the one so many young women along the Eastern Shore look forward to – time to sign up to participate in the 2023 Dogwood Trail Pageant and Scholarship Program! The Dogwood Trail Program, which the Eastern Shore Optimist Club (ESOC) sponsors, has been a local tradition since 1961. ESOC members remain dedicated and diligent in working with each participant to advance their interpersonal skills by providing opportunities for public speaking, interview training, and teaching poise and composure, while holding each participant to a high standard of discipline leading up to the Pageant in January. Please note - orientation sessions will be held on Sunday, September 18, from 4:00 – 6:00 p.m. and Tuesday, September 20, from 5:30 – 7:30 p.m. at the Prodisee Pantry in Spanish Fort (9315 Spanish Fort Blvd, Spanish
Fort, AL 36527). Attendance at one of these sessions is mandatory for all applicants, along with the attendance of a parent or guardian. Applicant requirements are as follows: must be female, a current sophomore or junior who is either a full-time resident of the Eastern Shore or who attends school along the Eastern Shore, and have a minimum cumulative GPA of 2.8. Participant applications will only be distributed at the two official orientation sessions. Applications will be due on either September 25 or October 2 during a pre-assigned time at the Prodisee Pantry. Complete application instructions will be given during each orientation meeting. There will also be time for applicants and their parents to ask questions about the pageant or program at each session. The 63rd Annual Dogwood Trail Pageant and Scholarship Program will be held at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday, January 14, 2023, at the Fairhope Civic Center.
Proceeds from the Pageant support The Eastern Shore Optimist Club youth scholarships, Dogwood Trail Court expenses and various charitable organizations throughout Baldwin County. For more information about the Dogwood Trail Pageant and Scholarship Program, contact Pageant
Director, Natalie Anusiewicz, at thedogwoodtrail@gmail.com and follow us on Facebook (Dogwood Trail Court) and Instagram (@dogwoodtrail).
