10 minute read
Kids Say the Wisest Things
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
Parent Question: What Do I Do When My Child Lies?
“What do I do when my child lies?” I get this question all the time. Trust me, you are not the only parent struggling with this. This is normal, so don’t question every parenting decision you have ever made when your kid tells a fib. This article highlights the four categories of lies, how to respond to each, and how to create an environment that encourages honesty.
One important point to consider, children between the ages of two and four are simply exploring creativity and boundaries, which may include telling untruths. Around the age of four, children start to lie for the same reason adults do: to gain an advantage, for convenience, to avoid punishment, and to boost self-esteem.
Lacking Skills Lies: These lies occur when the child has a slow processing speed, impulse control issues, short-term/ long-term memory delays, or an inability to correctly assess a situation. This type of lying is extremely common in children with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder. In these situations, the best thing parents can do is give the child time to think about their answers and then help them learn the language necessary to provide an accurate report of events. It is vital for parents to eliminate their child’s fear of “getting in trouble” in this situation so that they can learn the cognitive and language skills they need to succeed in life.
Lies to Protect Themselves or Others:
Your daughter may lie about how much she slept the night before because she doesn’t want to worry you. Your son may lie about a bad grade on a test because he wants to eliminate extra stress on you. When your child lies, the first thing you must do is to consider the goal of the lie. Was she afraid of making a mistake? Is the child feeling anxious, guilty, ashamed, or scared? Is he more afraid of your anger or the possible punishment? Take the time to explore all possible motives before reacting.
Tall Tales Lies: One of the greatest things about children is their “rose colored glasses”. They simply remember themselves as the hero of the story even if they were the villain. If this is the case or your child has a minor detail wrong, just ignore it. If your child is telling a tall tale to look better or gain approval the best thing you can do is tell the truth. Remember, your child is not on the witness stand. Don’t ask leading questions or argue. Simply interrupt the lie and state the truth.
Bold Lies to Avoid Punishment:
When this occurs, use natural consequences that will help build character. If your son has been hiding notes from the teacher and the teacher gives you a call, have him write an apology note admitting what he did wrong. Have him ask for another chance to take the note home. Through this punishment he is learning to confess, ask for forgiveness, and right his wrong.
General Tips to Promote Honesty:
1. Model honesty. If you tell a lie, immediately apologize and correct it. Help your child learn how to do this. 2. Perform honesty inspections. For example, don’t ask if they have homework, just get out the notebook and start checking. Don’t ask if they cleaned their room, go look. 3. Never label your child as a liar. Your child’s behavior patterns do not equal identity. Are you what you did as a kid? 4. Teach through stories. The Boy Who Cried Wolf is a great one, but use a variety of books, movies, and personal experiences to emphasize the importance of being honest.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
ANC Earth Day Festival
April 23 * 9 a.m.-2 p.m.
Alabama Nature Center, Millbrook.
Presentations, vendors, food, live animals, kids’ activities, and a clean up the creek walk during the event. General admission applies: (kids 3 & under FREE; $5/ person with a $20 maximum per family). For more info, call (334) 285-4550 or visit www.alabamawildlife.org/.
2nd Annual Elmore County Ability Games
April 19 * 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Wetumpka Sports Complex.
This event allows all students in the special needs program to participate in a day of fun and games. Sponsored by Special Education Adaptive PE.
Cloverdale Playhouse Presents Improv Night
April 9 * 7 p.m. in the Courtyard
If there is inclement weather, this event will be held upstairs on the theatre stage. Our indoor productions have limited and distanced seating. Masks are required for all when inside the building. $10 admission at the door. For more info, call (334) 2621530 or visit www.cloverdaleplayhouse.org/.
Hampstead Food Truck Takeover
April 24 * 12-3 p.m. Hampstead Town Center Join us for an afternoon of live music while supporting local food vendors. Outdoor seating available. For more info, call (334) or visit www.hampsteadliving.com.
Flimp Festival 2022
May 7 * 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts
Stir your creative spirit, ignite your imagination, and enjoy the whimsical sights and sounds in the John and Joyce Caddell Sculpture Garden. This annual event is perfect for young families and children. Admission is free. For more info, visit https://mmfa.org/event/ or call (334) 625-4333.
Fun with the Family at Montgomery Biscuits Baseball Games
All games are at Riverwalk Stadium. For more info or tickets, call (334) 819-7483 or visit https://www.milb.com/montgomery/.
Opening Night with MAX Fireworks
April 12 * 6:35 p.m. This is your first chance to see the boys in the butter and blue in action as we start another fun-filled season. The night ends with a MAX Fireworks Show.
Bucket Hat Giveaway April 15 * 6:35 p.m.
Get here early as only the first 1,000 fans of all ages will get a free hat!
The Nine Night & MAX Fireworks April 16 * 6:05 p.m.
We are proud to be a part of a new, black community-focused outreach platform specifically designed to honor and celebrate the historic impact numerous black baseball pioneers made on the sport, provide new opportunities for youth baseball and softball participation and further diversify the business of baseball. Following this night of recognition, we’ll have a post-game MAX Fireworks Show!
Easter Egg Hunt with the Biscuits
April 17 * 3:33 p.m.
Easter eggs with a variety of prizes will be hidden throughout the entire park for kids to find during the game. Bring your leashed dogs out to Riverwalk and don’t forget to join the Lil’ Crumbs Kids Club presented by Go Fish Alabama, offering complimentary Sunday game tickets along with a variety of other perks.
Autism Awareness Night Supporting
Easter Seals of Central Alabama April 26 * 6:35 p.m.
This night we take extra steps to ensure the entire ballpark experience is suitable for all audiences, including scaled down audio and visual elements.
Kids’ Giveaways May 1 & 8 * 3:33 p.m.
The first 500 kids 14 & under will go home with a special treat. Also, bring your leashed dogs out to the Riverwalk and don’t forget to join the Lil’ Crumbs Kids Club, offering compli-mentary Sunday game tickets along with a variety of other perks.
Downtown Prattville Spring Fling
April 8 * 5:30-7:30 p.m. Historic Downtown Prattville; hosted by The Shoppes of Downtown. See the latest new arrivals for spring, fantastic sales, tasty treats, and of course don’t forget to enter the Huge Easter Gift Basket Giveaway!
Black Jacket Symphony Presents The Police’s Synchronicity
April 16 * 8 p.m. Montgomery Performing Arts Centre Celebrate a return to live music with a full set of greatest hits from the Black Jacket Symphony’s most popular shows over the last 13 years! After their per-formance of Synchronicity, the band will return with an all-star cast of musicians to perform hits from artists like Eagles, Led Zeppelin, Tom Petty, The Police, The Who and more! Tickets $35. For tickets or more info, visit mpaconline.org/ events/ or call (334) 481-5100.
Wetumpka Community Market
April 7 * 4-7 p.m. First Thursdays Merchant’s Alley in Downtown Wetumpka The Community Market showcases a variety of handmade, homemade and homegrown products created by local artisans and farmers. It features more than 40 unique booths and vendors and one-of a-kind items each month. Market favorites include: fresh locally grown produce, honey, jams, jellies, salsa, pottery, art, leather products, fresh baked goods, wood items, wreaths, plants and more. Open to the public; no charge for admission. Visit www.facebook.com/Mainstreet communityMarketWetumpka.
Dino & Dragon Stroll
April 16-17 * 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat.; 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Sun. Renaissance Hotel & Convention Center, 201 Tallapoosa Street, Montgomery. Get up close to dinosaurs throughout the exhibit, ranging from babies to life-like and life-size dinosaurs including encounters with a T-Rex, Velociraptor and Stegosaurus, just to name a few. Guests can also get up close and personal with a selection of large, serpentine, winged, horned and legendary fire breathing dragons, just as you imagined them. Sensory friendly hour from 8:30-9:45 a.m. For more info, visit www.dinostroll.com.
Talisa Warren
Lee High School
Going into her ninth year of teaching, Talisa Warren is pursuing what she loves in a family environment at Lee High School. She is a proud graduate of Alabama State University with a master’s in Secondary Mathematics Education. She shares, “This year has not come without challenges, but we (my students and I) have overcome them together. I am not perfect. But whatever I can do for my students, they know I will do it for them. I love my students.”
Mrs. Warren had the privilege to observe several different classes before she chose to teach. She witnessed so many students struggling in their math classes that she became a tutor. Eventually, she realized this would not be enough and believed she could make a bigger impact as a teacher. Her philosophy as a lifelong learner is every child deserves an equal opportunity to learn. Every child deserves the right to a positive classroom environment in which they feel safe, respected, and highly regarded by the educator.
It is Mrs. Warren’s goal to meet the needs of her students so that they may reach their full potential and also to erase the stereotypical ideas of learning mathematics. She would like to see students enjoy learning mathematics. Mrs. Warren understands that every student learns differently, and she prides herself on constructing an environment to act as a facilitator, delivering learning through exploration of individual curiosity. She makes sure her students understand that the classroom is a no-judgment zone.
While getting candid with Mrs. Warren, she explained that teachers not only impart content knowledge. They do so much more. They spend the majority of their time with students. Their students come to them with different circumstances, and they do their best to meet them where they are and direct them. Teachers give their students the tools they need to be successful. “We are the school moms, the nurses, the counselors. We carry a heavy load daily, even when the students are not in our presence. We are role models.”
Congratulations, Mrs. Talisa Warren, on being named River Region Parents’ Teacher of the Month! We appreciate all you do!
