10 minute read
Kids Say the Wisest Things
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
In 1987, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince recorded a hilarious song that captures the tumultuous relationship between teenagers and their parents called, “Parents Don’t Understand”. I am quite certain that at least one poet of every generation has pinned similar lines, which leads us to the wise kid statement of the month: “My parents don’t even try to understand me”. These words are spoken by every child at least once, but typically 1,000,000 times before the age of 20. If your child has never said these words to you, wait until they are a teenager. As most of my teenage clients point out, we truly do not understand the pressures of being a teenager in the 21st century.
What all children truly need is for their parents to be compassionate towards them. Compassion requires us to listen without being judgmental. Unfortunately, our intense love for our children makes this almost impossible. When we are conversing with our children we want to jump in and correct every irrational thing that they say or do. Our judgement of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in that moment is counter intuitive to what they want and need from us. How do we resolve this age-old problem? We attempt to be initially curious instead of quick to judgment. The definition of curiosity is “a desire to know and learn”. Every parent wants to intimately know their children, but we hinder that possibility when we choose to form a judgment before being curious. Curiosity listens, judgment interrupts. Curiosity asks questions, judgment lectures. Curiosity attempts to understand, judgment limits the possibility of a different perspective. If we want to truly understand our children, we have to learn to bite our tongues and be curious.
Biting our tongues is a good idea, but let’s be honest, sometimes our children’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors are foolish and require intervention. That is why God gave parents to children. The role of parents is to shape children into productive members of society. However, when we make judgements without being curious we tend to intervene and correct behaviors when they aren’t necessarily wrong.
Here are some practical ways to choose curiosity first:
1. Listen without offering your opinion. A lot of times kids will hear their own flawed logic when we give them a safe place to verbally process their thoughts and feelings. 2. Validate feelings without validating behavior. You can hold and comfort your daughter when you tell her, “No”. She needs firm boundaries, but it is okay for her to be sad about them. 3. Do not always correct or disagree with their irrational thinking in the moment. You can always initiate a conversation about why you disagree later. 4. Learn to appreciate the differences between yourself and your children. Take personality tests with your family and educate yourself on the variety of perspectives in your home. 5. If your child’s opinion is contrary to yours, consult with adults you trust to understand your child’s viewpoint. 6. Make a list of family rules that are non-negotiable and allow for some “wiggle room” in the areas not covered by those rules.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www. worksofwondertherapy.com.
Family Events with the Montgomery Biscuits
For more info on any of these events, visit https://www.milb.com/montgomery/ or call (334) 819-7483.
* Military Wednesdays Aug. 4 & 18;
Sept. 1: All members of our Armed Forces are offered ticket, drink and food specials and discounts!
* Giveaway
Night Aug. 6:
We’re giving away different items to the first 1,000 fans through the gates!
*MAX Fireworks Nights Aug. 7 &
21; Sept. 4: Stick around after the game for a MAX Fireworks Show!
* Bark in the Park Aug. 8 & 22; Sept. 5
Bring your leashed 4-legged friend with you. Don’t forget to join the Lil’ Crumbs Kids
Club pres. by Go Fish Alabama, offering complimentary Sunday game tickets along with a variety of other perks. * Celebrating Classic Movie Princesses Aug. 20: Grab your tiara and hop in your carriage to join us for Princess Night!
Family Farm Fun Day at Train Station
Bring the family and enjoy tractordrawn hay rides, a petting zoo, face painting, farmers market, artisan market, live entertainment, antique tractor show and food trucks. It’s all part of celebrating the centennial of the Alabama Farmers Federation!
After the Family Farm Fun Day, head into the Farm & Land Expo Trade Show from 1-5 p.m. in Montgomery Convention Center. Displays feature farm equipment, trucks, ag lenders and other exhibits of interest to farmers, landowners and rural residents. More info on Facebook.
18th Annual Youth Fishing Rodeo
August 7 * 7-11 a.m. Lanark in Millbrook. Program is designed to provide Alabama’s youth a chance to experience the outdoors and learn about fishing. These events provide opportunities for families to share fun and quality time together while participating in one of our nation’s favorite pastimes. For more info, call (334) 285-4550 or visit www.alabamawildlife.org/.
Magical Creatures Education Program
Aug. 14 * 10 a.m.-noon at the Montgomery Zoo Meet some of the magical animals that are featured in movies like Harry Potter and The Hobbit. You will get a chance to meet animals up close, learn about them in their habitats, and take home some special prizes. Advanced reservations required. All participants must be registered no later than Aug. 13 @ noon. For more info, call (334) 625-4900 or visit www. montgomeryzoo.com/.
For tickets or more info on any of the following, visit mpaconline. org/events/ or call (334) 481-5100.
Sara Evans Aug. 12 * 8 p.m. Multi-platinum entertainer Sara Evans is the fifth most-played female artist at country radio in nearly the last two decades— her five No. 1 singles include “No Place That Far,” “Suds in the Bucket, “A Real Fine Place to Start,” “Born to Fly,” and “A Little Bit Stronger.” Tickets begin at $27.
Lorrie Morgan & Jesse Keith Whitley Aug. 13 * 8 p.m. Lorrie Morgan, the first woman in her genre to begin her career with three consecutive Platinum albums, re-emerges with Letting Go...Slow. It is a collection that showcases a rainbow of emotions, from darkest heartache to bright, shiny humor. Tickets begin at $23.
Easton Corbin Aug. 20 * 8 p.m. Corbin’s distinctive baritone has been gracing airwaves for the past decade as his chart-topping debut single “A Little More Country Than That” established him as a mainstay on the country charts. Another No. 1 hit is the feel-good “Roll With It.” Tickets begin at $32.
Steve Earle & The Dukes with Los Lobos Aug. 24 * 7:30 p.m. Over the course of 20 studio albums, Earle has distinguished himself as a master storyteller, and his songs have been recorded by a vast array of artists, including Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Joan Baez, Emmylou Harris, the Pretenders, and more. Each year, Earle organizes a benefit concert for the Keswell School, which his son John Henry attends and which provides educational programs for children and young adults with autism. Tickets begin at $37.
Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit Sept. 3 * 7:30 p.m. Jason Isbell and The 400 Unit will present a finely calibrated set of 10 songs from their new album, The Nashville Sound. Tickets begin at $50.
Military Appreciation
Aug. 15 * Noon-5 p.m. Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts. Saluting those that serve, the MMFA is making free art kits for military families who visit on Military Appreciation Day. Each kit contains materials to create an American flag sculpture and an agamograph. Kits will be available at both the main and Sculpture Garden entrances. No registration necessary, kits available while supplies last. Call (334) 625-4333 or e-mail info@mmfa.org.
August 28 * 1 p.m. Union Station Train Shed, 300 Water St. Join us for great music from our lineup of bands, award winning BBQ from BBQ creators from around the Southeast, activities for the whole family. Proceeds go towards Hogs for the Cause and fighting pediatric cancer. For more info, visit https://www.hogdays.org/ or call (334) 717-0107.
8th Annual River Jam Music Fest w/ Martina McBride
Aug. 14 * 7 p.m. Riverwalk Stadium. With special guest The Wilson Brothers Band. Gates open at 5 p.m. Onsite vendors and cash bar. Security checkpoints at all entrances. Sponsored by Bama Budweiser, Embassy Suites and Bluewater Broadcasting. For more info, visit www.funinmontgomery.com or call (334) 625-2300.
Wetumpka’s Community Market
1st Thursdays through November 5-8 p.m. Merchant Alley, Downtown Wetumpka Join us in Merchants Alley (along the riverwalk behind Hill Street) and enjoy shopping local from community merchants! If you’d like to be a vendor, e-mail market@mainstreetwetumpka.org.
Buckmasters Expo
August 20-22 * 3-8 p.m. Fri.; 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Sat.; 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun. Renaissance Hotel & Convention Center Admission is free upon a donation of one canned food item. Once inside, there are rows of vendors, a country concert, and zones for the kids. For more info, call (800) 240-3337 or visit buckmasters.com/ resources/expo.
Kathy Loomis
Macon East Academy
This year marks 39 years in the classroom for our August Teacher of the Month, Kathy Loomis. For nearly four decades, she’s taught in the Alabama, Texas, Tennessee, and Georgia Public School Systems. Kathy began teaching at Macon East Academy in 2002. She shares, “Macon East is the kind of school we were seeking out for our three boys. I knew I would fit well as a teacher also. Macon East is a family. The administration, teachers, and coaches care about the whole student... academics, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.”
Ever since she was a sophomore in high school, Kathy knew she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. It was after being assigned a paper that Kathy would unleash the teacher within. She shares, “My teacher assigned a paper entitled, Where I Will Be in Fifteen Years. I said then I would be teaching elementary school. I have since taught kindergarten, second, third, and fourth grades. I love 2nd grade because the students are still so eager to learn. They absorb everything you do and say. The excitement in their eyes and voices makes going to work every day a blessing.”
Ms. Loomis believes that teachers have an opportunity to be the foundation builders for tomorrow’s adult. That each grade is an essential step in preparing today’s youth to be tomorrow’s leaders.
We know that teachers hold a special place in every child’s heart. And most would agree, teachers wear many hats, and their job continues after school hours.
Kathy explains, “Teaching is not a 7:30 am to 3:00 pm, only 36 weeks out of the year job. Teachers are working at home every night, on the weekends, during holidays, and the summer months to prepare for the next day, week or year. Teaching is a year-round job.”
Congratulations, Ms. Loomis! We honor you as River Region Parents Teacher of the Month.
Kathy Loomis has a Bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education from Auburn University and a Master’s degree in Early Childhood Education from Auburn University at Montgomery. She was married to her husband for 29 years before his passing, and they have three sons: Kyle (34), Kaleb (29) and Karson (26). They are all Macon East graduates. They have degrees from Auburn University, Samford University and Baylor University.
